Buzzy: You did it again! Gary and I will need to lay new grass on our front lawn next year. Maybe you can come by and help fertilize our lawn by then. Think about it.
When I was growing up we had a Korean family live across the street from us. There was a kid in my sister Michelle's class named Simon, who was real bratty to myself and my older sister Beth but had a crush on Michelle. He used to brag that his grandmother would use her poop to fertilize all of the plants in the house.
An update on my young summer co-worker Christine. This week I start a month-long project on the site of one of our clients, so I will be spending very little time in my regular office. I dropped by my office this afternoon for a short time before going home. My co-worker Carol was telling me that she had a major dump yesterday in the ladies room. When she came out of the stall, she saw Christine come out of an adjacent stall. She had heard someone go into that stall shortly after she sat down, but she didn't know it was her. She said that, every time since then that she went to the ladies room, Christine managed to be in there. She was either already there, or she would walk in afterwards. Carol said she didn't give Christine the satisfaction of doing another dump.
I suspected that Christine had a secret fascination with pooping. I can tell that she wants to keep it a secret. She doesn't say anything about it, but she hasn't yet mastered the art of subtlety. I found out that Christine will be working with me during the last week of my on-site stint. I'm not necessarily complaining, as Christine is very bright and has been doing a very good job for us this summer. But her secret fascination, and how she is so coy about it, is a bit too eerie for me.
Kids in School:
When you have to go and you know when you have to go, and the teacher says no, do what I did. Get up and go anyway!!!
They have no right telling you that you are not allowed to go. I have read alot of stories where the teacher was even told it was an emergency, and still refused.
Sure you will probably get sent to the principals office, but you will be dry and clean. And trust me the principal will not be amused that you felt you had no choice but to leave the class.
I remember when I walked out of the class everybody was whispering, omg, she is going anyway, that is incredible. I turned to someone and said you can stay and pee on yourself if you want, but I am going to the bathroom.
The teacher wasn't there the next day, or any other day for that matter, gee wonder what happened to him =0)
Noname--maybe one day I will feel comfortable buddy dumping, but not now. See, I've always had some trouble with this; from the time I was very young I had severe constipation (I posted about this once), and still I'm not totally regular (it amazes me how regular some people are...) and now when I go it's either "I have to go right now" and it comes out quickly and easily or I struggle struggle struggle to pass one and often times will try with no results or on more rare occasions, will suffer terrible stomach aches resulting in many trips to the toilet, sometimes producing nothing and sometimes producing lots of liquid shit. Not fun. But even after being constipated, I don't produce an especially large quantity...
I suppose when I am married then things may change, but I just don't see this happening in the near future.
Louise--thanks for your response :o) Here's the story.
It was the beginning of May and I was 3/4 finished with my exams. All I had left was a 3 hour history exam and that was on Wed. I had turned in another HUGE history exam (I had taken 2 history courses) on Friday on an extension because of a lot of c*** (not literally) happening in my life (I literally had a nervous breakdown that previous Monday). Anyway, I decided that I was going to take the weekend off. So, Sat. night I went to my friends' party. (I know this is a little OT, but it is setting up the scene). I'm not a drinker at all and in fact other than for religious or celabratory (engagement party) purposes have never had any alcohol before, but one of my friends who was hostessing this party called me a wimp and insisted I have a drink. So I had "chocolate" milk (chocolate liquor). I wonder which of these factors or what else might have led to my agony the next day. Any thoughts?
Okay, Sunday, I slept in and then went to my other friend's graduation party at his house (he lives near the school). We had a fantastic time, lots of food, etc. After about 2 hours, I started feeling really gassy and let out a couple SBDs. I kinda had to pee at this point and was also on my period so I had to take care of that, but I really wanted to wait until I got back to school if possible. I was sitting down and started feeling really warm and my stomach started killing me. I was sitting next to this guy's girlfriend, a very close friend of mine as well, so I quietly asked her where the bathroom was. She told me and I went off as calmly and inconspicuously as possible.
When I got to the bathroom, which was connected to the living room (the party was in the back yard), a man was coming out, but luckily there was no one else around. The bathroom was long and narrow with the toilet to the left and the sink to the right (couldn't reach the sink from the toilet) and a sliding door that didn't lock. Fabulous I thought knowing this was going to be a messy one. I peed furiously and then let out a couple booming farts before the waves of diahrea started. I don't know how long I was in there but I was just doubled over in pain. When it finally stopped, I checked the toilet and it was full of brown murky crap with some red streaks from my period (not very pleasant I might add...not to mention the extra effort of cleaning that takes). So, I flushed, but still felt icky and like I had to go more. I tried as hard as I could but did nothing but fart even after a few minutes, so I cleaned up and went back outside. No one said anything to me even! though I was sitting in the chair with my legs up and my arms wrapped around them very quiet which is unusual for me as I have a very bubbly personality and had been playing with my friend's little cousins and just fooling around earlier. I didn't go anymore that day even though I felt like I had to.
So that's my story...I don't know if the little bit of alcohol could set that off, especially so long after I had consumed it. What do you guys think? Just stress?
kevin from calgary
RE donnie m post. In our school (back in england) our teacher had two sets of spair clothes one dress and spair knickers for girls and a pair of shorts and white underpants for boys.
This worked out great more or less depending on the size of the kid, anyway one day in art class a boy spilled some water over him self so of course he got to wear the spair shorts /underpants.
Now later that day (this was in the days when one teacher taught all subjects)another boy asked to go to the toilet, and was refused sit down was all the teacher said some time later the boy started crying he had wet his pants realy bad. Now heres the funny part (sort of) the only spair clothing in class was the dress and knickers sooooooooo guess what that boy went home in that day? yes a lovely cute little blue dress and navy blue school knickers, after class he run all the way home crying.
The point of me telling all this is teachers back then were (i thought) very cruel and sadistic and i really think they enjoyed watching students wet or mess there pants.
This happened some time time ago while i still lived in england.
I was about ten years old and had a really big crush on this girl in class, her name was tina peacock and i think about the same age.
well we got to be firm friends and played with each other on weekends etc. well one day while at the park, tina said OOHHHHH!! and clutched her stomach, i gotta go to the bog real bad as she said that i heard her do a fart, i said better run to the toilets so we both started running towards the park toilets.
Tina suddenly just stopped and started crying whats up i said ive done a poo in my knickers and indeed she had i could smell it we continued on tina now walking with her legs apart. when we finally got to the toilets tina was shy about going in them, so i said come on come into the boys and i will help you, at first she was a bit reluctant but finaly did go in.
Well we managed to get her fixed up reasonably clean tina just chucked her knickers, not sure what ever happened to tina we lost contact as the years went on, tina if your reading this--- email me girl. kevin
My wife and I saw the film "A.I." last night with our son, David. For me, the toilet scene is one of many little defining moments in the film. As the mother gets to know David, the boy robot, we see a sequence that shows a lot of contrasts between humans and robots. David diesn't know when to get out of the way. He doesn't have to eat. And he certainly doesn't poop. The mother's overreaction at being seen, swearing and all, is a huge contrast to David's innocence. All he sees is his "mother" inside another room, in another human situation. So I guess what we have to ask is, What is it about our cultures that makes some of us humans so ashamed to be seen in the act of elimination, while for others it's almost as matter-of-fact as it was for David? Is the desire for privacy part of being human? Could all humans get to the point where we don't care if anyone sees us pooping or peeing (savings lots of money on separate public toilet rooms, partitions, etc.). Or is a sen! se of modesty too important to us? "A.I." definitely is one very thought provoking film, but that's not for this forum.
Sara- I heared about your problem, my g/f suggests that you and your mom just sit and talk about it, she had a problem simialar to yours.
I dont really have a sotory i just wanted to tell Sara that.
All this talk about asking permission reminds me of a flight I was on recently. I had the window seat, and a US Senator had the aisle seat (true story). The Senator was a nice guy (Republican) and we chatted for a while. But then he fell asleep. And I had been drinking Cokes all day. Uh-oh. I really didn't want to wake the guy, but I just HAD to. "Excuse me Senator, I have to use the lavatory". I never thought I would have to ask a US Senator if I could please go pee!
Katie K: damn, not the katy i know=( o well, it was cool to think about for a second!
Hi everyone, I've enjoyed reading all the posts on here. I thought I might contribute myself :-) A little about me : I'm 19, I'm around 5'6, blue eyes, medium frame, blonde hair. I was going back to college to get settled into my classes for summer quarter, and I was at the registar's office double checking all my classes and making sure I was paid up and verified. I touched my stomach a little as I felt a tight but not painful urge in my belly, it was kinda low so I thought I probably needed to go to the bathroom pretty bad. I got my papers together and rounded the hall. The men's room had a sign up that it was out of order, but thankfully the ladies room was open. There was no exterior door, just a walkway in and several stalls. I took the middle one which was closer. I went in and put my things down on the floor and pulled at my belt and pants and undid them and slid my pants and panties to the floor, then I sat on the seat. I tried peeing a little but I didn't ! have to. In just a second a heard a man's voice from the door. "Anyone in here?" I just sat there a second and didn't say anything. He walked in, and I could see him thru the crack in the stalls. He was the janitor and he probably noticed my feet and rolled down pants under the stall. In a timmid voice I just said "sorry, I'll be out in a min." He didn't say anything, he just walked back out into the hall, I didn't hear him leave so he must have waited at the door for me to finish. I was a little embarassed with him standing so close but I needed to poop too bad to pull my pants up and try to find another bathroom. I farted a few times and then pushed pretty hard, some hard pieces fell out and made loud plops in the water, then the poop made a sputtering sound as a long peice slid out. I did another short clump and made another fart. I squeezed again to make sure I got it all and a little mush tappered off and fell. It felt a little gooey back there, I don't like i! t when it's messy like that. I pulled off some paper, which was hard to do, the stupid little contraption holding it would only surender a single tisue at a time! I was mad. But it was ok, because eventually I got enough to make a wipe, but it was too gooey so I had to gather up some more, I ended up making five passes over my but, and there were still some streeks on the paper, I said "to hell with it" and gave up, pulled up my pants and panties and flushed the toilet, I flushed it again to get rid of the rest of the poop and mess in the toilet. I got my papers together and walked over and washed my hands. I made sure my shirt was tucked in strait and walked out, and the guy was standing there at the door. He just looked at me, and I smiled at him politely, I was kindof embarassed though, I mean, he just stood there and listened to me poop . . . anyways . . :-) I just thought I would share. That's the first time something like that has ever happend to me.
I think that the first time I had an experience with other people were pooing and peeing their pants is when my step-mom and me were shopping in Walmart, she was farting like crazy and I asked her what was wrong. She said that she desperatly needed to take a number two. I said go, and she tryed, but all the bathrooms were closed, and this is late at night so we had to drive home, 1 mile away, and man was the gas bad, we drove by the woods and then she farted (a wet one), then she said that she was gonna poo her jeans, she tryed to go but a stray dog scared he, so well, she asked me to go with her, beside a tree, I said sure. When we got to the tree, man she said I was supposed to watch her and animals, she got to the tree, and man did it was the biggest amount of poo I have ever seen, one that was like 7 inches, and horribly thick, then the weird part came in, I loved it, when she was pooing, it was like a turn on, so then I discovered the sitte, and saw the girl pooing, an! d I was in heaven, I love this site, and seeing women poo.
Would you consider getting your daughter a pail to do her business in, and slowly take her to the bathroom.
Don't forget to let her know that when you go to the toilet nothing happens to you.
And here is a trick I used for kids afraid monsters were under the bed. Take a clear spray bottle, you can get them at a plant store. When your daughter is not around fill it with water, add a few drops of food coloring, and some essential oils for scent. Something she has never smelled before. Write on the bottle MONSTER SPRAY.
Tell her you bought the spray because it is garanteed to stop toilet monsters, it has never failed, 100% rids the monster everytime. Spray around the bathroom, let her see you. Then leave the bottle in the bathroom.
She will soon spray the toilet herself and before you know it she will be going again.
I've had company this week and i haven't been posting as much and i haven't had stuff to talk about till now. See i usally have my wing of the house to my self. Someone occupies the master bed room/bath. Im not used to having some one so close to my room. Therefore i haven't beeen sleeping as good. I've heard my company get up several times during the night to pee. It's starting to annoy me cause i'm not sleeping well with hearing the toilet flush. This is why when im alone i don't flush at night.
I like the picture, it's showing alot
I went to the mall yesterday and when i got there i had to poop. I knew i was gonna have to poop before going to the mall. I get there and head towards the main bathrooms but they were closed. I ran over to JcPenny to poop and boy just about every stall was taking with guys shitting. I took my time...there was a guy next to me pooping he leaves and i swear he comes back a bit later and takes the same stall and begins pooping. Then after i was done i was in the mall walking around and i swore i saw the same guy, if it was him, he gave me a funny look.
To Zack: I liked your story about seeing the guy in the locker room pooping. That must be cool to see a guy pooping in the open like that.
To Ryan: Cool story about being in the bathroom at the college watching the guy poop. When you did that did you have to poop? or where you just acting like you had to poop so you could watch???
Hello,all poopers out there!I'm still reelin' from the other days' adventure with my lady friend-Anyway,it's been real hot here in the N.E.and this morning was already warm and I got up at 7am and right away I had to dump even before i drank or ate anything,so i got on my bike and took off to the beach(about 9 mile ride) and by the time i got there,i really had to go pretty bad,so i went to this men's room that is usually pretty busy and it was about 7:45 or so when i got there and the beach wasn't full of people yet,but the bathroom was busy-there was a line for the bowls-there are 6 stalls and they were all full as I stood there waiting i could hear the sounds of guys doing their morning loads and the guys waiting looked like they had to go bad too-this one guy who also was a biker,(cause he started telling me about his ride from his place to do some surf casting)was looking really uncomfortable in back of me and when a stall opened up for me,I said to him"hey,you can go ahe! ad of me,i can hold it" and we both laughed as he went into the stall and then the stall next to his opened up and I went in and as I was cleaning the seat,i heard him just as he was sitting down saying "ohh whet a relief" and a second later i heard a loud fart followeed by what sounded like a long crackling rope of poop ending with another long fart-This prompted me to sit on the bowl and as i was sitting i was letting out a good fart of my own and as soon as i sat on the bowl,all this loose stuff came out and sounded like -Plop,plop,plop,plop,plop thiiiiiit fart thittt plop,plop fart fart and halfway thru me duming ,this guy let out another wave of poop that sounded Exactly like my dump,with a lot of farts too-he was moaning and grunting thru it all,i was pretty quiet-i may have let out a few moans but not like this guy-it was pretty coolThen another guy came into the stall across from us and just exploded with a lot of loose stuff in the bowl and then i heard the guy next t! o me grunt and push out the tail end of his BM ending with a wet fart.Then i heard him wiping his but as I felt another urge and let out one of those farts that starts out low in pitch and gets higher and higher followed by pudding-i guess the pitch has to do with letting out the gas as the poo drops down to come out-i really enjoy those kinds of farts myself-the place stunk to high heaven as i sat there and the guy in the next stall left as another guy came in and everyone and I mean everyone had soft,gassy,loose dumps-It's got to be the hot weather cause it does that to me too-i sat there for another 5 mins pushing out some squgglies as i enjoyed the sounds of relief as i heard lots of guys farting, moaning, and grunting out their morning loads-there was some serious shitting going on here-I should get out here early more often,boy it was fun!not as fun as the other day,but very enjoyable in a different way!then wiped my messy butt with some handi-wipes and headed back-it's ! going to be a hot one today-i'll tell you-A question for you all-Does the hot weather make you all poop more?Some feedback please BYE
I have a bit of a story to tell you. Well I was in this bar with a friend on Friday night. I needed to go take a pee. I had a short black dress on with a black G string. I had to use this stall that had no door on it, and I just took off my g string and hovered my buttock above it. I got looked at a bit by about 3 other girls when I was peeing, but then this girl came past to go in the stall next to me.She
had ca ca in her panties too! I heard the girl have a pee
and that was not all they did, girls in there knew what was going on.
Then I left and I did not spot them when they came out. When I came out
I let out another dookey when I was walking out. The dookey was kind of loose and made a trail to the car. People were asking who did that.
I felt really shitty that day...shitty in both ways, not up to par and I had diarreah. I sat on the toilet and let it out. It was never ending and I saw something red in it and I was thinking maybe I'd have to go buy some Fibercon or something. I was somewhat freaked, too...the thought of bloody shit grossed me out.
A little while later, I realized the red in my shit was not blood, but the cherries I ate in the apple pie.A few minutes later another shit just peaked out. It was harder and firmer. I did not wipe my butt after that.
I think seeing and hearing women fart and poop turns men on, will some body please comment on this.
A few observations here...
I did one or two fairly dense shits lately, yesterday morning when I plonked down I found myself delivering rabbit pellets for the first time in years! Kinda like buckshot... Bumshot? Yes! That's memorable!
Last night I tried the drink-while-wee trick, actually took a glass of water into the toilet with me, weed standing up and drank the water at the same time. I was amazed -- nothing to it! I had tried a couple of times and either couldn't start drinking 'til I'd weed or the other way round! But this time it was easy! GRIN!
Something rather unusual today, I was over at the post office and a mother had a fairly demonstrative and noisy young daughter, I'd be guessing maybe five years old, and it was clear the child needed a wee. Her mother took her to the garden strip -- we're talking something a couple of meters wide, between the carpark and the street, and with absolutely no cover whatever, pulled her pants down and made her squat. The kid was extremely humiliated, and vocal in her objection, she didn't want to relieve herself in the street like a dog. But unfortunately public toilets are few and far between in Australia, this is only a few hundred yards from the railway underpass where I doused the wall once myself. Well, either the kid was quick or under such stress couldn't go at all. I couldn't help feeling it was a scene her mother made happen, but maybe her mother has cleaned up the car once too often already.
LOUISE -- hi sweetie. No, your story of the guy who saw you in the Ladies when his girl smuggled him in for naughties didn't rock me back (hugs for thinking of me -- seriously!). Just to be using a doorless stall is a major thing in itself, beyond the presence of others the gender of the others is strangely secondary. AP is a wierd thing in that sense -- though the possibility of assault is omnipresent and we must take supreme care. My heart would have fluttered for all those reasons -- I remember how strange I felt the time I was walked-in on by a guy the time I was dressed so middle of the road he couldn't tell I was a girl from behind! Funny at the time, but ... there's no such thing as perfect safety. Yes, I'll get as much practice as I can, clubs are a bit of a law unto themselves. I've never really been a pubs person, I could count on one hand the times I've been in a bar in years -- but they're a skill, too, and one worth cultivating.
I keep visualizing your four delicious bums hanging over the side of the bath, pluming champaign -- and I smile from ear to ear!
All my best, darling (and best to Steve -- and everyone here!)
Haha, yes, I'm glad you found the story of the pee party enjoyable. It was certainly very entertaining for me, and from the moment I accompanied Emma to the bathroom, it was pretty clear what sort of night it was going to be. It was almost as if I did not have a say in the matter. As I was outnumbered, the ladies were very firmly in charge of me, and as I said in the story, I saw the bathwater had taken on a faint yellow colour when it was eventually drained away. I do indeed consider myself to be very lucky to have had the company of such a great bunch of lovely ladies and for them to share things normally so private with me.
There are a couple of other recent incidents I will describe when time permits, and I think you will find them good to read.
Your sighting of the lady having a wee on the hard shoulder of the motorway was quite remarkable, and I know exactly how you must have felt at the time. I've seen a young girl, in a tiny dress in hot, sunny weather, get out of a small sports car, and urinate a huge gusher onto the surface of the hard shoulder. The difference in my case was that she was in a two door car, and had no rear doors to provide extra cover. She bent over rather than squatting down fully, and her genitals were visible for a few seconds as she squirted her stream. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. That was around four years ago if memory serves me correctly.
Hi there, darling. I know I would have fierce competition from Rizzo in my duties as your toilet guard. Perhaps we will have to take it in turns ;)
I enjoyed your latest story from Paris. For Susan the housewife, I think it is likely that lack of privacy, and needing a guard like that when she was weeing, was totally beyond her previous experience. Ha ha, you are probably right, I don't think Susan would have been able to handle me being there as the toilet guard - in complete contrast to Louise's mother I have to say!
I can imagine a wicked grin on your face as you squatted down you take your dump. Of course you would want a little help in wiping?
Oh boy, yes, I certainly did have fun with Louise and company on that evening and the following morning. Having them weeing in front of me was a sheer delight, and I'm sure if you had been there to join in the fun, you could have had a lovely wee for me that would have been totally charming. Yes, I would have liked that. In addition, even though I did not do this at the time, perhaps I could have done a little wee fountain (as Louise describes it) of my own for you, up
from the bathwater!
To Kim and Scott,
Hi there, glad you like the posts I submit. It's true, I do have to spread my postings over time, and I find I still manage to fit in descriptions of all the events.
Hello, sweetheart. Yes indeed, I do find that there is a certain pleasure to be taken from life if you have been able give someone even the slightest assistance in achieving their goal. I know that Louise has found that in conversing with you, and it is very satisfying to know that you feel so comfortable with peeing in company now.
Hello there. Ah well, there you go. No ploppers, just floppers. It was still nice to hear about them, but any time you have ploppers, be sure to tell us!
I cannot imagine any pee you did being horrible, as you describe it. I take it you must have missed the container when you were there in bed. As you can probably imagine, if I had been there I would not exactly have minded seeing the beautiful arc it would have made. As you say though, you were not in the mood for fun, and I'm sure the male orderlies must have thought that was a pity.
Take care now, Senorita.
I will wrap this post up with a report of a sighting that might be of some interest to Julie and PV in particular. The circumstances, for me, were slightly unusual.
I was on my way to collect my car after its service, travelling on foot towards the dealership at around 4pm. At a particular stage of the journey, I walked though a small maze of small streets and alleyways as a shortcut that would save me around 5 minutes. I rounded one corner
and almost tripped over a schoolgirl squatting there. She was around 13 to 14 years of age and in full school uniform, skirt gathered up around her waist, knickers around her knees, well into having what appeared to be the wee of her life. A powerful yellow stream was squirting out of her, and I could not help but see it due to how I almost lost my balance. I could see how appalled she was at being discovered, and there was no room to pass her without stepping over her, so I retreated around the corner until she had finished. Eventually the girl appeared around the corner, still adjusting her knickers under her skirt, and she apologised. In fact I apologised to her for causing her embarrassment, and then she went on her way. There was a large puddle in the place she had been.
I told Louise about it, and as she said among all the giggling, perhaps in a few years the girl would appreciate a toilet guard!
Bye for now,
Imagine a woman, after a long hard day of work, who has been feeling the urge of a huge crap just boiling in her intestine. She waits until work is over until she is almost about to soil her new capri pants. She hurries stiffly into the nearest public restroom, as if she has a large twig up her ass. She looks around to make sure that she is alone. She quickly sits down and begins the task of emptying out her colon, savoring the nice feeling of a satisfying shit (haven't we all). It is then that I entered the very same public restroom to make another deposit into drinkable water, and came upon this woman, all alone, in the middle of the ecstasy of taking a huge satisfying dump.† As suddenly as she heard my footsteps in the bathroom, the shitting stopped.† I imagined this poor woman sitting on the toilet, sphincter muscles quivering, trying to hold back a flood of nature's greatest fertilizer. It is then that I realized she wasn't going to continue her poo until I left the b! athroom.† WHY?† Because she is ASHAMED.† I give the poor woman a break; I wash my hands and walk towards the door, slamming it from the inside, so as that I still remained n the bathroom. I began to hear the continuation of her dump, it was very noisy and sloppy, with the occasional groan of relief. She came out of the stall, refreshed, and noticed that I was still there. She turned red and looked away in shame.
This has happened so many times, I cannot count. I suppose many women don't like it when other woman can hear them crap. In crowded bathroom, such a woman is sure to crap, for the background noises will cover it up. Why be ashamed, ladies!† As the popular children's book says: EVERYBODY POOPS!;† Imagine that! Cindy Crawford's other talent is manufacturing huge turds in her spare time! Madonna has had diarrhea! Brad Pitt has even made skid marks on his underwear on some occasions! Celine Dion almost shits her pants when she sings! Why is it that we are ashamed of our proper bodily functions? I know that many elderly consider it a great day when they can shit a turd the size of a raisin! Think of the many unfortunate souls who shit into a bag attached to their abdomen because they have no intestines! Be glad that you CAN shit! Celebrate the art of shitting, and keep a shit diary: Does your shit float or sink? What was your longest turd? Smelliest? What is the most you have p! ooped in one day? ....Yes boys and girls, shitting can be a hell of a lot of fun, and it feels good too. Eat blue dye and see if your dung comes out blue! Why not leave your poo and pee in the toilet for the next visitor to admire (and save some water in the process)??? In fact, I just left a nice 10 incher in this very bathroom the other day, perhaps you are familiar with my work.
In conclusion: next time you take a shit, think about what you have just read, and share your best pooping moments with others. It also helps to visualize the one person or famous figure you admire most, taking the most sloppy smelly shit you have ever witnessed.
Diane- New York
GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYBODY! I HOPE EVERYONE THRUOGHLY ENJOYED THEIR INDEPENDENCE DAY! Well I was going to post yesterday butÖ I had to go to the hospital for a LIFE THREATING Reason. Yesterday I started my car to drive to the market (its only 7 blocks away but I donít like walking, plus it was hot as hell). But you see I fell asleep while the car was running in the garage with the door closed. (Stupid me) Thank God Maranello came by and found me. I donít remember the details but, the doctor told me if my friend didnít find me and get me to the hospital, I wouldíve died within 10 minutes form Carbon Monoxide poisoning. Hearing this, I hardly ever cry, butÖ I gave Maranello the biggest hug I could with bucketfulís of grateful tears streaming from my eyes. She just smiled. I rewarded her for her act by purchasing tickets for a trip to The Bahamas with all expenses paid by me. Hey, itís the least I can do for her saving my life. Without her, I wouldnít be here typing th! is. She will always have my sincere gratitude. ALWAYS.
Well onto a more light-hearted news I have a great camping story to tell you guys about involving Tina ( you guys remember her? She was the cute Hispanic who was involved in the story with the tacos and farting). and Maranello. The setting was Upstate New York State. On Friday I piled up the BMW 540i wagon with all our gear and necessities. I then went to pick up Tina and Maranello. And after topping her off with a full tank of premium we were off. Well during the drive everyone was well behaved. I had to stop frequently because this thing guzzles gas so that gave everybody the opportunity to make a pit stop before we depart and continue embarking on our journey. So the 4.5hour drive went pretty smoothly. Then we arrive at our destination. There was a beautiful view of the Appalachian Mountains (I think?) in the background. Well Maranello and Tina set up their camp. Then they asked me how come Iím not setting up my tent or sleeping bag. I told them I was stay! ing in the car (hey it had every conceivable the reasonable hedonist could want heat/ac, comfy leather seats with excellent lateral support). So night fell pretty quickly and Tina and Maranello we off sleeping. Me on the other hand stayed up and was in marine mode. Right next to me my double-barreled shotgun for protection because bears have been spotted around here and I donít want the 3 of us to become grizzly fodder. So there I sit, with heightened senses then I hear a rattling. I take out my flashlight and I see Tina coming towards me. She wants me to accompany her to the bathroom. So I step out of the car take the shotgun and follow her into the bushes. She lifts up her nightgown and squats down. I hear a loud fart that sounded like when someone sticks his or her tongue out at you. It lasted for 35 seconds. Then as I was dosing off I hear a loud crackling then a gentle thud. I shone my light there and there was a poop about 25.2 inches long and about 3.5 inches! thick. You would never believe it came out of her!
Then she was grunting very loudly and I hear a loud crackling that went on for at least 2 minutes. I shone and the light on her little backside and I saw a 30 incher about 2.5 inches thick lay on the ground. She asked if I had anything to wipe with. I said sorry, I had nothing. Then I left the rifle with her so she can protect herself and Maranello from a bear attack. The reason I bought the rifle is because, I lost a brother who was mauled to death by a bear while he was asleep camping about 10yrs ago. Iím not going to let it happen again. Then I hopped in the car and drove about 20 miles to the closest gas station. I ask the attendant to make me 2 cups of coffee and hand me the key for the restroom. I take my coffee and walk into a clean restroom. I Put my 2 cups of coffee on the counter pull up my skirt and sit on the commode. I let out a booming fart. As I was flipping through the pages of the newspaper I felt the urge come on strong. It was 1:45am at the! time.
I pushed and all that came out was a loud fart. Then I felt my rear passages expand and I felt the girth of a very big log. It was pretty wide, so wide in fact the minute I felt it my eyes just shot right open. Boy did it hurt! I took a look and part of it was already down the hole. I lifted it up to see how big this sucker was and it was 37 inches long and 4.8 inches wide. I wasnít surprised because I was constipated and didnít go for a few days. I flushed to see if the toilet wood take it. I pushed the lever and It took it! This thing had a powerful flush that sucked it away like paper.
I sat back down and resumed full concentration. I pushed and this very smooth but deceptively long turd that kept going like Interstate 95 goes all the way down form Maine to Florida. It was just one continuos turd. When I picked it up it was only 2.5in thick but it was an honest to goodness 45 inches long. I wiped my ass then I flushed as everything was down the hole. I returned the key to the attendant and topped my car off again finished all my coffee. I then made the drive back 20 miles. It really didnít take to long traveling 85mph.
When I returned I took my TV and plugged it in the lighter. Scrolling through I find nothing interesting. I switch on the radio till sunrise. At about 7:00 am Tina and Maranello are all dressed and theyíre going on a hike. I tell them be careful please, watch out for the bears. I then recline and dose off and slept for two hours. When I wake up I see that all their equipment was scattered all around and I see paw prints and shit way toooo huge to be from a human. I tell Tina and Maranello Itís not a good idea hanging around longer, a bear has been through here. Then we pack everything up and I get us the hell outa theyíre emulating a little Michael Shumacher out of the curve and onto the straight. I got a lot of dirty looks but I was making sure I got us outta there in 1 piece. Well about 5.5 hours later I was back on Long Island at my home.
Maranello made a mad dash for the bathroom. She pulled down her sweat pants and let loose with stinky diarrhea. She stays in there complaining her stomach is hurting her. I give her some Immoudim (SP?) AD to make her diarrhea will stop. There was a lot of gurgling sounds and noises coming from her. I just stepped outside to get the newspaper so she could take her mind off things. When I steeped in the bathroom I hear nothing but diarrhea hitting the water. This lasted for about 5 minutes. She was flipping through the newspaper farting away. But it didnít stink because the fan was on. She just kept farting away. She was in there for an hour. When she came out, she had such a relieved look on her face. And then everybody went home leaving the house to myself. My husband is in Switzerland and he ainít coming back till August. I can definitely feel my age, Iím 23 and Iím slowing down. I donít have the energy or spunk I used to have when I was 16 or 17. I feel ! like a sloth. Iím not planning on retirement yet. But physically I hardly have energy to spear. I have to keep reminding myself, take it easy slow down. So thatís what Iím gonna do. It has nothing to do with me excising because I always do. Thatís how I keep my gorgeous figure and muscular 6í0ft 295lb body. I guess when we age we all lose energy when we age. And for crying out loud my beautiful blond hair, which I have worked, very hard to take care of is thinning! Oh well, I could use a break anyway. Here is a toilet scene I saw this morning. This movie I donít know the name of had to do about this guy, taking another guy hostage to rob a bank. Well there is this part in which this guy drives his truck in the pub and drives all the way into the bathroom where you can see this guy already seated on the toilet because his stall got knocked down. Forgive me if I have a few spelling mistakes but Iím kinda dizzy so qís look like oís and so forth. My vision is also mes! sed up a bit. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Carmalita- Hola allŪ Carmalita! Cůmo estŠn haciendo, espero su multa. I said: ďHi there Carmalita. How are doing, I hope your fine.Ē Really enjoyed your latest masterpiece. You and ďTesaĒ really gave that guy a show. Who could blame him. He really got an opportunity to see one of the best shows on earth. You would love to meet my friendís Tina and Alex. There are both petite and good -looking women. They both have beautiful smiles that could cheer up someone on the lousiest of days. But watch out for Alex, she is a comedian and she is so funny you would run the risk of wetting yourself from laughing. It happened to me more that once. Good luck with Derek!
Buzzy- Awesome story about you and your friend Donna both taking a crap in the woods. Who knows, maybe we might run into each other since were are practically neighbors. I find your stories so interesting. I love the vivid descriptions you give. You and RJOGGER must be in great shape because you guys go jogging every day. It would be nice if all of us could have a nice outdoor poop altogether. Keep up the nice stories neighbor.
RJOGGER- Ainít the weather crazy here in the Northeastern US or what. One day Iím literally melting. The other Itís to cold and wet. I just wish it could stay one way instead of alternating back and forth. I canít keep up with it. Ah! So I see you and your wife are going on like college kids. Really enjoyed your story about you taking a dump in the garbage pail. The same garbage pail you used when you got locked out of your house 29 years ago. Then your wife pooping in the bucket too. You sure do know how to have fun. Me on the other hand my life is duller than a warm butter knife cutting through butter. Just thought you would like to know that my friend who lives on the same street as me owns a bright yellow 69í (Mako Shark) Vette with the 427 CID big block V8. And a Dodge Challenger plum crazy purple with the 426 CID Hemi. Hail to the Pushrods. Take care of yourself.
Kim and Scott- I have a quick question. You perform many big block logs. Iím just wondering. What does your diet consist of? And how tall are you. Just Curious.
PLUNGING PLOP GUY
The partitions at the swap meet are right at the level of the toilet, so you can see just the back of the guy's thigh as he's sitting on the toilet. Same with the neighboring stalls. You can easily see the guy's thighs if you bend forward a little bit. It's a little bit more difficult because the toilets are close together, with the partition in between.
Another swap meet that I've been to has the doors too close to the toilets, so they are cut very short to allow them to swing above the toilet and seat itself. The only way to catch a peek is to bend down to tie your shoe while you're at the sinks, or bending over to pick something up off the floor at taking a quick glance.
I was at a mall in Hawaii and entered the restroom to take a leak. A good-looking guy, 20ish, came in behind me and went to the only stall, along the wall. It also had the really high partition (from the bottom), as well as being short (from the top). I could see the entire toilet and seat as well as the guy's head and shoulders as he stood in the stall. It was cool to see his head as he turned and fumbled with his shorts, and let them drop to the floor. Then he grabbed his underwear and pulled them down as his head disappeared from sight. I figured he would keep them at his thighs. He just sat and crapped. I got there before he did so I had to leave before he got finished.
One of the toilet stalls at my school had a large handicapped stall that had a very large gap between the wall and the partition. Probably about 3 inches. The urinal was located on the wall right next to the gap and there was always an array of different guys that could be seen on the can. It seems that most guys crap in the morning, so that was always a good time to check it out. The toilet didn't face the urinal, so it was easy to check someone out, unless he happened to turn his head to the left. My favorite was the pale guy with black hair who looked like he had just finished running. He was wearing shorts and a tank top. He was a bit sweaty, too. He just let loose a whole bunch of turds. Very noisy, but no straining. He sat with his eyes closed. He leaned forward, put his hands between his legs and took a long piss. Unfortunately, I had to leave before I wore out my welcome.
Tuesday, July 10, 2001