I didn't laugh when the fat lady fell in. She nearly scared me.
My grandma has been living with us for about 3 weeks now, while we are moving her to a new place. She goes to the bathroom like 20 times a day. My mom and I went to the animal sale barn this morning and we were gone for about a 6 hours and when we came back there was like 8 pieces of toilet paper in the potty and 2 turds, from grandma and it couldn't have been my Dad because he has been dead for 9 years, (there is no need to express sympathy). Yesterday we were gone for about 2 hours and when we came home she was crying cuz she broke the toilet. our toilet is kinda weird in the fact that you must hold the flusher down until the water is out of the bowl. she pushed it down and pulled it all the way around. Every other time that she has flushed she pushes it all the way down and it gets stuck there and it keeps letting water run. I rarely go to the bathroom in less than 3 hour intervals (usually i go 2 to 3 times per day) everytime I go into the bathroom there are 3 or ! 4 pieces of toilet paper and 1 turd in the toilet, and my mom and I always flush. everytime she does flush she "brakes" the toilet. She is so confused that she cant understand how to work it. she just jams the flusher all the way down.
The parking lot incident wouldn't be in California would it? That looks like the way folks there would potty train intensively. I once watched a charming young woman in Northern California, instructing her young son how to aim for the bowl.
She was conducting this training, by having him aim for the gutter drain, on the street corner. During Saturday morning tourist crowds, in the middle of San Franciscan Chinatown.
As I watched her train her son, I could see that she herself would clearly like to have been able to do the same right there (I was sorta hoping she would trot for the nearest alleyway but they strolled down the street afterwards), but knew the legal boundaries.
An (off topic) joke. Q: Why is California like a bowl of granola? A: If you get rid of the fruits and nuts, what you have left is a bunch of flakes.
The two incidents (yours and mine) remind me of typical California flakiness.
I just came back from a weekend at a meditative resort, where, due to the climate, everybody is urged to constantly drink water. There is a frequent queue for the toilets, as there are three toilets for 100 - 200 guests there during the day.
One of the times I had to pee, I opened the door of one toilet with the "Vacant" sign showing. Inside, one of the fellow guests was just finishing wiping herself. Calmly explaining that she just "didn't bother to fully engage the lock" or something, she exited. Leaving me to pee with a bit of a reaction.
I don't remember what I said if anything, but I was definitely wishing that I had been there 30 seconds earlier.
kevin from calgary
Greetings every one, this happened while i still lived in england.
I was sixteen,a friend and i went to london one evening to see a show, after we had a bite to eat and a few drinks.
Now it was while walking along my friend tracy mentioned she needed a loo, we carried on till we got to some public toilets, these ones were the kind you went down some steps under ground.
Tracy holding her bum tightly rushed down the stairs to the ladies side and i down to the mens.
I figured i better spend a penny (this was in the seventies and still had pay toilets) there was a line up, but not very long. To the right of me stood a short stocky man with a pin stripe suit on and bowler hat brief case in hand looking VERY distresed, he kept looking at the stall door in front and making faces.
He let a loud fart go and said OOOOOHHHHHHHH ive pooped my pants, he turned away and walked stiff legged away, i started laughing (well i was sixteen)but abrutly stopped, i had just let a poo go in my pants too, it was a firm solid poo thankfully and did not smell too bad.
I turned and walked back up the stairs wondering how to tell tracy i had messed my pants. As i got back up to the street tracy was waiting for me, UUMM kev i have something to tell you its a bit embarassing, iam afraid i didnt make it to the loo i done it in my knickers.
I looked at tracy and grinned and put my arm around her well its funny you said that because you see i too uumm couldnt make it, we both looked at each other hugged and walked arm in arm back to the tube station to head home and clean up and errrr well i will leave the rest for you to figure out. kevin
Jane--wow! Those 7 pieces must have been hell to push out. Did they make you bleed any? Were you grunting loud to push them out?
Kim & Scott--that was another cool story to read. You are the shitting queen of the board!
Bryian--alot of people shit twice a day. It's normal. In some part of the world people shit even four or five times a day.
Saturday night boyfriend and I went out to a dinner party and swam in their pool afterward. While I was putting my clothes back on he came down the hallway and knocked on the bathroom door. I told him I had to have a really big bowel movement but was afraid I would clog their toilet.
We decided to dump on the beach which was a very short drive from their house. By the time we left and got there I thought I was going to burst and the public restrooms were too far away for me.
Boyfriend grabbed a flashlight for a good view and we scampered up a dune where I dropped my white thong underwear and jean shorts, which were damp from swimming. It was 11:45 pm.
I moaned and pushed hard as the tip opened my quivering hole up. It didn't want to budge anymore and boyfriend sensed I was getting desparate for relief. I started grunting loud as I strained harder and my ring opened up more. My adobe log started slowly coming out in jerks.
"C'mon, push harder. Give me a good push. You can do it," boyfriend encouraged as he rubbed a little K-Y Jelly on my ever expanding hole. I groaned, moaned, grunted and strained it out inch by inch, loudly going "Uh!" over and over. I reached forward and grabbed ahold of a bush and squeezed it hard as I continued to strained, it seemed like a natural thing to do.
"This is a whopper!" he exclaimed as 15 inches hung out of me.
"Oh gawd!" I cried and from the sheer effort of pushing and being so opened up. I rested before starting again with an "Uh! Uh! NNNNGGGGG!" I felt like I was giving birth!
I walked forward and shifted my body around on the dry sand as he pressed above my quivering, expanded hole to help me. Five more inches jerked out of me, the adobe log was thick and smooth and had a weird smell to it. It steamed in the night air under the flashlight. I rested for a minute and pushed even harder, my face contorted in effort.
"You're almost there," he encouraged. "You can do this."
I grimaced and gave a loud cry and sent it flying out of me.
"Damn girl, what have you been eating?!" he asked as he got the tape measure out. I panted hard and said it felt so good to have that out of me as he told me it was 23 inches long and 3.3 inches thick. I also saw corn and seeds in it. It was slightly tapered at one end and real thick at one spot in the middle.
He flashed the light on my hole, which he said was pulsating. He wiped it but there wasn't anything to clean.
We kicked lots of sand over my midnight log. Then he gave me a long kiss under the moonlight and we went home.
Huey: I agree with Rizzo's comments 100%. You sound like the sort of person who probably uses guilt to manipulate people, and the adolescent equivalent of a school bully who steals bags of sweets (candy) from other kids and then expects them to be grateful for giving one back instead of taking the entire lot. How would you like it if you were feeling ill and someone kindly (or so you thought) offered to give you a lift home and then went mad at you for having an accident in their car? Do you think this girl did it on purpose to spite you? Don't you think she felt bad enough already without you needlessly making her feel even worse? Personally I would never risk driving a sick person home in my mother's car in case something like that happened, even if I really liked them!
Diane in the State of New York
Well I said I would post here about Melissa but, as you guessed it in my Friday posting, its not good news. Well I have 2 stories to tell you guys about.
Friday I had to go in to work early because my boss went on vacation and he left me in charge to run things. So I step into the restroom and sit in the stall. Then someone obviously in a rush just darted into the stall. Then I hear her but land on the toilet seat. While I was trying to enjoy my early crap, it was disturbed by a lot of groaning. So I push and a rather heavy thing fell out of my but. Then the girl next door is farting away and plopping away. I push out another thing and it was rather wide. I topped it off with a quick pee. I wiped my butt pulled up my panties. Then I come out of the stall but I hear a muffled mother fu容r. This girl about 15-17 yrs. Asked me if I worked here. I said yeah whats it to you. She said Take a look. I look in the toilet and the toilet water was up to the rim. Then I saw some mighty huge shits about 5 or 6 trying to go down the hole. I didn稚 believe my eyes! This came out of You? I said. She said yeah. Then she! apologizes washes her hands and then leaves. How odd.
My second story happened about a month or two ago. Monday thru Friday I知 a real estate agent but Saturdays I知 a bodyguard/chauffeur. My friend who is very rich hires me on weekends. He owns a armored BMW because he痴 afraid of the outside world. I was in Pennsylvania taking him to some kind of party and I was lost. So I pull over to use the nav system When I hear a scream. There was this drunkard behind his car with his pants at his ankles with a beer bottle in his hand. He said Hey watch fart, nnnnh, ah, where your going blondie. I came a little to close. If I kept going I could have crushed him. Then out of the corner of my eye, I see a rather large shit dangling from his butt. I apologized and drove away.
I will tell you guys about what happened and I won稚 sugar coat it. I tell you like it was. Plus I guess it would the right thing to do. I see that a whole lot of people are worried about Melissa and are very concerned. Well she died Tuesday morning due to a very severe stroke. The M.E. said she had a ruptured brain vessel, which is how she lost brain function and she died a few minutes later. I would have told you guys earlier but I was just too upset. I知 sorry I had to keep you guys waiting to tell you the terrible news. And I知 also very sorry if this comes as a rather unpleasant batch of news to anyone.
Take good care of yourselves,
I'm very sorry to hear about your father. I hope your family
and friends will be taking good care of you. All of us wish
you the best and will be here for you.
This one was great. I have spent several days getting
my boat back into shape and so I took it out to a little island.
I went for a walk, but several other boats had set up camp
sites all over it. The only place I could relax alone was at the
base of this little cliff. I sat and read my book and around
mid morning I needed to make my bowel movement. There
are no bathrooms on the island, so I decided to do it while on
the rock that I had been sitting on. I had heard some dogs
barking, but no voices for a couple of hours, so I pulled my
black shorts down to mid thigh, and pulled my hawaiian shirt
tail over my lap. This was comfortable, and any boats passing
at a distance would not be able to tell what I was doing.
Having been dehydrated from the sun, I was having a hard
time getting started. I was in no hurry, though, so I sat there
reading for over an hour. Finally, I started my motion after a
big drink of water. To my amazement, here come two dogs
and a heavenly beauty around the corner of the cliff. This
lady was a real looker, definately in Kim's league. Her dogs
barked at me, and I pulled my shirt tail a little to cover my
bum. "Don't worry, they won't bite you" she said. "Uh,
Okay", I calmly said while pushing out my hard log. She
glanced under me and saw my pile but didn't seemed very
shocked. I wanted her to stay and chat, but she walked her
dogs leisurely to the edge of the water and gradually went
back around the corner. I finished my load and cleaned up. I
came back the next day, incidentally, and my dump was
gone. She may have returned and tossed it into the water.
ASK THE T-STOOLERS
Okay, this applies mostly to the women, but it wouldn't
surprise me if a couple of the men also had some insight. I
saw the lady with the dogs in the story above again when I
was leaving the island. She and her husband were sitting in
some lawn chairs next to their boat. I gave her a friendly
wave as I was puttering by and she made sure her husband
wasn't looking and snuck a wave back. She then folded her
arms across her lower abdomen and leaned pretty far
forward as if she might need to make a movement herself.
My question is how to interpret her body language. Did she
see the casual way I had just made my movement, and now
she wanted to do the same, or did she cross her arms because
she felt all hollow inside because she felt ashamed that she
had accidently invaded someone's privacy? What do you
WILD AND CRAZY
Since I've come back home I have been going wild. I have visited the Unisex bathrooms,
read all the old posts, found new places for unusual situations and dreamed of things that
would make Carmelita blush! I have decided I need a wild girlfriend to get kinky with. My
search for her begins today. Women that visit this site beware, because if you come to
Austin I'll find you and make you my princess porcelina!
Take a small amount of soap and put it up your butt and let it do it's thing.
When I was in grade one I started to have a fear of the toliet so i pissed myself and shitted myself all the time. When I was in school I started to poo my pants at the morning and it stayed all over my ass all day.
dear alana, i know you are impressed with the ammount of shit you can produce, and i have to say that i am too. but 30 lbs. of shit in your intestines is not healthy. it could cause you to have a condition known as malabsorbtion, in which your intestines do not absourb all the vitamines you need. also such vast ammounts of shit could block your intestines, and that would certainly be a problem. BTW, i have heard of people being poisoned by there own shit, so you should try to have a bowel movement at least once per day, as i know that would be normal for you due to the huge amount of shit you produce. also eating like that is gluttonous and not good for your health, especially your heart. by the way melissa, you have a SERIOUS, POSSIBLY LIFE-THREATENING PROBLEM. SEE A DOCTOR AT ONCE, OR ON SECOND THOUGHT, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. thanx for listening.
JULIE - Hi girl! Thank you for saying that I have been
a bad influence LOL. Well I have used that way in a
nightclub toilet when all the cubicles have had a girl
in them when I have been desperate. Oh yeah, there is
the other way that PV said when you stand with your pussy
over the corner of the sink. That is if the sink is the
right height and shape. I am tall, so I do not find the
sinks too high, if you are much shorter then maybe you
will find it too hard getting in the right position. I
know how you felt when you nearly got caught!!!
When I was at school I never went through my knickers when
I was playing sport like you did. I thought that girl was
very cruel to hold your skirt up like that. With us it
was the done thing that when anybody wanted a wee, knickers
went down and then the girl squatted down and weed at the side
of the field. The way our teacher did it too, she wore short
skirts, tops and knickers just like we did, made us feel
that was all right because there were just girls there.
I feel really lucky I never got repressed that way because
my mum was very open about the toilet as well, it was how
I grew up.
I hope you feel a lot better for writing about what happened.
It is like my boyfriend Steve says, unless you resolve these
things in your head they eat away at you.
The only times I have wet my knickers really have been big
accidents when I have been out at night with Steve. It has
happened just a few times but there was a real good one when
I had my really long white dress on with a split up the side.
A taxi cab hooted its horn really loud when it was close to
us, and because I was really needing a wee I was shocked and
I flooded my knickers and wet my dress big time!
CARMALITA - Hi girl. Oh I am sorry about you and Jake,
it sounded like he was going to be the one for you.
How sad that is.
It is good that you are practicing standing to pee and
Renee is too. It will be interesting to find out if it
gets harder for her to do it when she gets bigger later
in the pregnancy. It maybe that it will not be harder
for her, that is something I do not know.
Oh yeah, I will give Steve a kiss from you, he will
like that! Find a nice guy soon!
KIM AND SCOTT - Wow good story about you and your other
cheerleading friend. I bet all the dancing and jumping
just goes and shakes the log out of you.
RIZZO - Hi guy! Isn't PV so daring when she goes in some
of these men's toilets? She is much braver than I am,
when I go in the one at work it is always the one that is
almost never used so I will not be caught. It is not too
often but if it is any other time I go in a men's, I have
Steve with me so I feel safe.
Tell you what though, you could be a nice guard for me too
when I am standing at a urinal. If I was wearing my nice
office clothes maybe you would like what you saw!
Hugs, Louise xxx
PV - Hi!!! I will tell Steve you wrote after reading
about when we had a run round the park and had a wee.
He will be very pleased you liked hearing about it, but
I do not think he will be writing here for about 4 weeks
because he is training hard now, running early in the
morning and practicing his stuff in the evening. Oh well.
I went running with him again yesterday and we had a wee
again but it was not really like the last time. This time I
held Steve's willy for him while he wet a bush. After it
looked like it had been raining with all his wee dripping
off the leaves. I let him put his willy away after I got
it dry. I had a wee too and when Steve pulled my shorts
down he picked me up and held me as I let rip and watered
the grass. My bum got a little bit wet because some wee
ran down and trickled a bit. It was all right, I did not
mind because we had a bath when we went home later. That
was very nice!
My mum did like watering the garden like that when she was
with us that other time, and we had a good giggle at how
Steve looked at us when we were weeing. I think my mum
shocked him a bit, he was not ready for that.
Again sorry Steve will not write for a bit, he was looking
tired and he has gone on this regime now.
Big hugs from England! Louise xx
Hmmm...soft poop and pee stories wanted...let's see...If I change my diet radically, I have soft poop. I'm less able to hold it when it's soft. So I quickly get on the toilet and do the soft serve ice cream thing. It makes my butt messy and I have wet wipes to clean up with. It also leaves huge skid marks in the bowl. Soft poop usually smells worse.
Well, gentle people, I had a good scare this weekend on the road. I took a dump in my hotel room Sunday morning and saw what I thought was fresh blood on the TP. It was an easy dump, no straining at all and no burning at my hole, so I couldn't easily chalk it up to just an anal fissure. That worried me. I checked the bowl and found a small, red glob attached to the largest of my jobbies. Otherwise, they were normal in size and color. There was also a small, thin, feathery layer of red on the water's surface, about 1 by 2 cm. I tried to fish for the glob so I could examine it, but it floated back and around the bend. Back home now, this morning's dump was normal, except for some tiny red flecks on one of my jobbies. I managed to capture two of them for a good look. Solid, some sort of food, not blood. Then I remembered the Indian cuisine I'd eaten on Friday night. Must have been some indigestible spice. Whew! After joining others here to warn Melissa (NY), I thoug! ht I was headed to the doc myself.
Hey, did you see her? German supermodel Renata on the masthead, doing the Jenny McCarthy pottie thing. I've seen her in German fashion ads, always looking good, but never better than here.
MODERATORS - That "In response to your inquiry" (?) comment puzzles me, but if it's nothing important, please don't worry about it.
To Secret!!: I liked your story....i thought it was intresting that you couldn't wipe your own butt(sometimes i really think of people like this). What was the purpose of your family diapering you and leave you?? did they wipe you??
Thats a nice picture!! There is a new logo down there which reads Wanted soft poop& pee stories
Yesterday i mentioned i pooped twice...well make it 3 times. I had to poop for the 3rd time yesterday right before bed. It was really soft. It's been really soft the last few days.
Do I see a turd actually appearing from the rearward portals of blessed relief in the current masthead? She's cute, and though it might be an optical illusion it's a really evocative shot!
KIM & SCOTT -- WOW, darling, what a stunning performance. Your "buddy dump" with Debbie's deposited droppings was dee-lish! How I wish I could produce such spectacles!
MALITA -- Hi sweetie! Your appreciation is super-welcome, and makes a solitary dump seem less lonely. Except for a brief time long, long ago, we've never had a bathroom with a toilet, our houses have always had separate toilets, so there was never any hint or indication that toilet company was an enjoyable human activity. I've missed out on something, that's for sure... Have I ever taken a dump in the men's? As it happens, no! But it would sure be something to think about. With jeans and joggers, I could sit and show no tell-tale signs under the door, and when the coast was clear, leave again... Hmmm!
I'll let you in on a fantasy I've nursed for years, one that was a sort of sign-post for easing out of the AP mindset. The thought of using a urinal while dressed very femininely indeed. A well-cut skirt-suit, open-crotch nylons and high-heel pumps, with a nice hairdo, makeup, the works, as if I'd just stepped out of a business meeting for a moment... To step up and wash the steel wall, and probably be caught in the act by some unsuspecting male whose chin hits his knees at the sight of this well-turned out woman performing a singularly male act.
It's never happened yet, but by heaven it would be a triumphal point in the defeat of that condition, wouldn't it? Maybe you, me and Louise could all use it side by side!
Plunging Plop Guy
KYLE, Your meeting with the young guy in the toilet and your friendly chat as he sat on the toilet dropping his turds as he made friends with your dog and you shookhands after when you parted; if that's not friendly male-bonding and healthy acceptance of bodily functions in a relaxed, natural way- then I don't know what is!
It's great to read of such meetings, and to know there are uninhibited guys like you and him using toilets!
All the best in future and your dog is a great means of breaking the ice!
ZIP, Those partitions you described where you and the other guy actually leaned forward as you were sitting on neighbouring toilets are also a great way to lose inhibitions!
For two guys to be able to look directly at each other's face while sitting on the toilet and dropping turds, and observe the facial expressions as the big ones are being pushed out and the loud plops that result- WOW! What male bonding!! I really envy you!
TONY, Re. your diary you've kept over the years of your toilet sessions;have you also, I wonder, been able to correlate your shits with the previous day's food intake?
I've never been able to make much of a connection between the two, although in my teens Inoticed I was much more likely to produce whoppers when I was on holiday, and my diet being more varied and meals at different times.
Have you noticed your turds being firmer when on holiday, or in the summer when you've perhaps been slightly dehydrated?
One aspect of my diary keeping over the last two years since when my shitting has been more variable than before; has been to make a coded reference to the loudness of the plops and the degree of splashing up Iget from when the turds drop. That will, of course, be influenced by the type of toilet being used, but I think it's an excellent idea to record one's sessions over the years, especially to compare your shits with your health at the time.
CARMALITA, I hope you find a squat type toilet as you say you'd like, but this thought occurred to me;
If squatting to shit is considered a more efficient way to do it, and if, as I wondered, people might get tired if they're squatting for a long time; how about someone devising a toilet that is ultra-low so you can sit down on it and yet still be in the same squatting position?
That would mean the person would be in the same position as they would sitting on a pot.
Just think how good someone would look with all that expanse of thigh on show to someone standing in front!
I especially used to enjoy seeing pictures of footballers where the back row of the team is standing, the next row is sitting on a bench and in front would be four guys sitting cross-legged on the ground. These ones I used to imagine sitting on a squat toilet!
Regarding public toilets and the charge of 1p to operate the cubicle door.
as someone said, men could urinate for free, whereas in such conveniences, both sexes would pay 1p to use a cubicle (unless the user held the door open for the next person, or didn't allow it to slam shut after.)
Another aspect of sexual differences in toilets I've observed is in certain older industrial parts of the north of Englandwhere you can,I think,still find urinals only.
These are or were brick buildings with no indication of what they are that have a doorway and just a stone, porcelain or brick urinal inside.
No "Gents" over the doorway, and no cubicles or toilets.
Fine for men who need to piss, but nothing for shitting or no alternative facility for women. The equivalent of the French pissoir in all but design.
That's my lot for today, I'm having very good BMs at the moment so feeling very comfortable, that is, easy to do, no sorenees or itchiness, and cleaner to wipe up, but they're still small!
Allbest wishes to everyone, and especially to Kendal and all her great supportive family. Sorry, I get the names mixed up but you know who you all are! P P G
Donny, that's-great, man. I can relate, to that. I really can. Hope yall stay-together, for a long time! Me and my girl, Angela, are going on a month, now. Craig, your story sounds, really, familiar to me!:) Although, not those exact set of cirucumstances, it is pretty dang-close, to how Angela and I got together. D.R.E.: your information is dead-on, man! I practice the same thing, and, I have got to confirm how-effective this method is! Even Angela has let me do this to her, a couple of times, when she just does not feel like wasting an hour, or so, when we can "work it all out", this way, in under 10 minutes, usually, if even that long.
Special hellos to donny,rjogger,carmalita & tesa,pico tamale (mariposa), and, last, but not least, D.R.E.
Monday, May 21, 2001