before me & my brother went to school we would spend one day a week visiting our gran. After lunch, she would take both of us into the kitchen and sit us down, my bother on a potty and me on a bucket and we would always go for her. Why she would put us on a buckect and not the toilet I oftern wonder. At home we would both use the toilet unassisted. May be she had a a thing about the toilet and liked watching us go.

We would stay at her house for the weekend evey so often. She would alway put a bucket in the room. One morning I gess I was about 8 or 9 I needed a poo when I got up. I tried to go and use the toilet but she insisted that I used the bucket, yes she did stay a watch. still I didn't mind.

When we were rely younge at home my Mum would let us wee into the drain in the garden to save going up stairs.

I have been reading the form for awhileI finialy have the courage to aask this question. Does any one have a problem with butt oder? I keep clean but when I take my pants down to sit on the can there always is an Oder. I am male 18 years old is this a male problem or what? Duke

Still Wetting
Have you ever had a vivid dream that you were in the bathroom or some other spot taking a pee and then wake realizing that you wet your bed. This happens to me so often that I have been asked to go back to wearing diapers. I have slept my entire life with a rubber sheet on my bed because of my bedwetting which even happens on many nights without the bathroom dream.

Calvin I liked your story please post more like it.

My first post. Once, when I was about nine years old There was this girl who was swinging upside down on the branch of a tree in our school playground. Her skirt fell down over her bum and she had this round wet poop stain on her white knickers. I can remember thinking that I would like to see what state her little bumhole was like.

Dear KENDAL, thank you for your long post! No, I did not guess that you are really named after a town in Cumbria. I thought that you had given yourself this name for this forum! Whatever you are called I will always rembember it as a lovely name, because it will be associated with you! Now, if you had asked me how to spell Rydal, I would have have said with a “Y”of course. You can see that when banging these messages into the computer I make more mistakes than you! Ah yes, I remember the little island on Rydal Water, a detail that made it look so beautiful. You need to go hiking in Switzerland to find lakes of comparable beauty. And pooping at a medium hiking altitude of six to eight thousand feet is quite fun, because at that altitude there are no more trees or bushes to dodge behind! Just very low vegetation or rocks! Or snow to pee your name in! Now Rizzo is not a very convenient name to pee. That dot on the “I” needs that well aimed extra short squirt. Very difficult! I! t is of course not my real name, I just chose it on the spur of the moment when typing my first post. The other names for choice were “Gonzo” because I have a beaky nose and a pair of squeaky shoes, and “Poopy the Sailorman” because I like to voyage under sail, but this one I found too long.
Now I don’t know Devon very well; I’ve only been there once, stayed a night in Totnes, because you see, my wife and I live outside the UK, only going there to see our sons and friends from time to time.
Now I’ve been trying to catch up on the posts, and read about your widdle duo in P-minor with hugs and cuddles with Andrew under that famous dressing gown! You seemed to have enjoyed it! And then Andrew goes on to admit that you snore! Now no need to blush! We snore too. Even our dog snores! Excuse me for rambling on and on, heaps of love from your cyber Uncle Rizzo.

LAWN DOGS KID, sweet of you to cuddle Kendal on your knees in her dad’s large dressing gown while having a pee for two! It is hugs and cuddles and intimate moments that Kendal needs at this stage of her life, believe me! We have friends who have two daughters. They stayed with us for two weeks when the girls were about 9 and 7 years old (our boys were then 10 an 8). At bed time it was little Anette who gave me an extra hug and wouldn’t want to let me go; this to the point of embarrassment for her parents. But their marriage relationship was already very strained and two or three years later the father went off with some other woman. Divorce followed. The world fell apart for the two girls. They had no dear cousin like you, no such dear dad, the mother had to work, the father was away most of the time. Results: serious eating disorder and consequent therapy in a closed institution for the older girl. She is OK now. And little Annette dropped out of school, repeatedly ran ! away from home, the police having to bring her back. She became an alcoholic and drug addict, was put into an insitution one step short of the loony bin and stayed there for years. She has also recovered more or less by now at 21 years of age, but has to careful. I write this to show you how important I think it is what you two do!! And its fun, isn’t it? Such precious moments in life will never be forgotten! Cherish them! And there is another thing. Kendal playfully finding it a pity that PV and I can’t get “married” which is a way to express her need for an intact family of sorts, isn’t it? Cheers from Rizzo!

Dear PV, thank you for your post! You may “take care” of Kendal during weekends (only joking!) because our youngest is at home preparing for his finals and hogging the computer all day (and half the night). I am only left to have an occasional peep at the posts during lunch breaks at the office during the week! But, joke aside, I somehow feel involved with Kendal’s well being, and I see in you a lovely ally. From your post I realize that you are a petite woman and I can just imagine you on tip toes to reach the sink! Or even better, walking clickety-clack in high heeled shoes to pee in the sink! When peeing in the sink you should avoid sitting on it anyway (you always stand of course!), because some sinks are not sturdy enough to carry any weight at all! My wife has used the following method. She stands sideways in front of the sink with her right thigh touching it. Then she lifts her right leg as if for the scissors high jump and places the heel of her right foot on the! side edge of the sink. She moves over slightly so that the front of the sink comes to rest against the inside of her left thigh and pees straight down into it standing with her weight on her left leg. Of course this works best with no panties under the dress, or only with stretchy panties pulled down only minimally or pulled to the side. It is more difficult in jeans or in tights (panty hose) but just possible. But then my wife is 5ft 9” and wears jeans with 34” length! I wear out her old jeans but they have to be shortened a bit although I am 6ft 1” tall!
I always enjoy your posts! Hugs, Rizzo.

JW, yes, in “Lost” the woman suffers from severe constipation. But that had its reasons and should not be considered as typical. The composition of crew was not ideal on that boat because of lack of experience. For obscure religious reasons the skipper did not care for the well being of his “passengers”, which I found criminal. As a result everyone became severely dehydrated. Plus, the woman was too shy and embarassed to admit to need to relieve herself. She peed her clothes repeatedly for days and days whilst lying down fully dressed all the time, and became covered in painful sores because of that. After having got rid of her ball of hard excrement with the aid of her partner, she died. It is a very sad story.

MIKEY, you are not alone, others have pooped themselves at school, myself included, although I was a bit younger then you when it happened. Don’t think because you are disgusted with yourself that others automatically find you despicable! Girls are usually better prepared to understand such a predicament than you think. Your cutie blonde crush has possibly had accidents too, and she has her monthly periods to live with on top of that! So don’t worry too much. Try do do something about it. You have already started by posting here! Then you are beginning to find out what foods cause your gas and diarrhoea. If you say tomatoes and peppers, these belong to the solanaceae (night shades) and are known allergens. Maybe you eat too many sweet things. But I’m not a doctor. So ask the school nurse or matron for help if that is possible. And if you find that embarrassing, admit that it is embarassing! You will be helped! And the good side of it all is that such an experience, however! unpleasant it may be, will make you more mature with the result that the girls will find you a nice guy! Cheer up!

On a more somber note, it is now two months ago that 11 year old Heather died from her injuries from a car accident. I still play the largo in G by Bach from time to time in her memory.

Bye to all, Rizzo

Nice picture but she must take a leg out of her panties or else they will catch the load.

Poster- Yes I always have a firm plug that comes out before a mushy windy poo. Never have accidents.

My husband has started a funny thing, he may even post oneday. As we are farmers and work from home we spend a lot of time together on the farm or in the house. He then knows if i go to the loo. He has started to come and sit with me and as my movements are usually alittle mushy with wind a fair amount lands up sprayed on the bowl. He now wants to pee it off the bowl before I flush. Is he becoming like us??? I hope so.

Another horseshow. This one with a difference. Years ago Linda and I went to a provincial championship with slightly better facilities. We found the bathrooms (showers etc) the day before but elected to also have our bachup bush site. The morning of the first day we both stumbled off to the loos to poo and shower ready for the day. The door had no ladies or gents sign but as there was no urinal we assumed it to be the ladies. In we go the only ones as it is early and we each take a cubicle. Towels and tracksuits on the hooks and we proceed to pee loudly and blow a few good farts. Some crackling and splashing later we are done and are about to pull paper and wipe when a person walks in. We think it is a lady until this voice booms out "Morning all the early shitters" This is a man obviously not aware that he has two ladies for company. He enters a stall and proceeds to start his business. I must say he made a lot of noise amid the grunts and splashing. Now I know Linda is s! hy and would have frozen on the loo waiting for him to finish and go but I was not going to sit and wait. I dress quickly and quietly and open my stall. I push Linda's open and signal to her to come quickly. She dressed and we fled in search of the Ladies. We never found it so he was in the wrong. I doubt he had bad intentions just one of those guys that greets everyone in public loos.
The next day we decide to use our bush loo. Off we go and squat down in the bush. Our favourite way. We are now in the shadow cast by the bush and wearing dark tracksuits cannot be easily seen. Not show offs. We have both just peed when one of the grooms walks into the clearing with the same intentions. He does not see us as we are in dark shadow and I signal to Linda next to me to be silent he will finish and go away. With his back to us he pulls off his pants and squats down. A few small farts later and he pees and proceeds to poo. Linda is not looking but I cannot resist. I can see everything, annus, privates the works as he is in the sunshine. I am glad we girls do not have all that equipment to carry and keep clean aspecially when pooing outdoors. I look across to Linda next to me and she mouths quietly that she cannot hold on much longer as she needed to go quite badly. I signal go ahead. With a pained expression she tries to fart quietly but as it starts as a hiss e! nds up a wet boomer. This poor chap wips around eyes on stalks and sees us in the gloom. I thought he would wipe and go but calm as anything says " Sorry girls I am at full throttle. Can't stop now. Just look away if it offends you" With that I thought what the hell and we both let go. I watched a log of his hit the ground break off and fall forwards against his scrotum. I don't think he realised as he did not wipe there. He wiped first and left and we followed shortly afterwards. We thought we should try to avoid him till we left but he appeared around the stables and was an absolute gentleman. Just said good morning and went on his way. No comments like "Enjoyed it did you" or such like nonsense. Did he recognise us and not embarras us or did his mind run amock? I would love to know.

Jeff A.

Hi all. How’s everyone doing? What’s with the gal at the masthead, she keeps disappearing, then reappearing. Please bring back that squatting black beauty with the tatoo on her arm!! I only got to see it for a second, then it was gone, replaced by the standing gal.
RENEE: Congratulations!!!! I am so happy for you. I’m sorry my congrats are so late in coming, but I’ve had an accident recently, and need to go into surgery tomorrow morning. It may be awhile before I can post again. Jake sounds like a great guy, and I know you’ll be a great mom because you’re obviously a very loving woman, surrounded by the same. If the baby is a boy, Jeff is a good name, don’t you think? I must say that I wasn’t surprised to find that you were gay and I think it’s really cool that you came out. I’d love to hear more about Patsy. I think black women are so beautiful, I just love them all. Please try to coax her into posting about her big poo-poos okay? If she dosen’t, then would you please snitch on her and tell us anyway? I know you like to watch!
STEVE: Is your Aikido test coming up soon? If so, good luck! I heard a great story about an Aikido master here. He said that he wants to be buried in his white belt because at death, he’ll be beginning a new journey.
BRIDGET AND ALEX M: Man it’s so good to hear from you two again! You brought back a taste of the old days here. I really missed you, and Steph, and all those great old stories. But nothing lasts forever does it? BRIDGET: I missed you too. You were someone really special and I always loved your stories. I was intrigued by your mention of your interest in women. I love the purity of that. I hope all goes well for you, and that you meet someone really great.
PV: The low urinals are for handicapped people not short guys. I just thought I’d mention that. In any event, I hope you don’t mind me saying that tall, or short, I’d really love to see you use one! You’re a sweetheart, and I love ya. I also loved your posting about your latest big dump. Very nice!
CARMALITA: I loved your latest story about the vegetable oil. I can just picture you on the toilet grunting and pushing one of your famous monster turds out. Honey, I must say that I believe that you are the hottest female on this forum!!! No offense to the other ladies here, but you Carmalita, have really made this place shine!!! I love Latinas anyway, and you, with that gorgeous bod, and bizarre sense of humor is a fantastic mix! (Who else poops on rose bushes and cuts their butt cheeks in the process?) I keep your stories and read them often. Renee says you look like Jennifer Lopez, is that true?!! I hope you have a butt like hers, because Ms. Lopez has the greatest butt I think I’ve ever seen! I also loved the story you dedicated to John VT. I can just picture you eating mashed potatoes to poop out the next day. I love your stinky craps, the way you describe the smell and how bad it is. I’d love to smell it for myself! To me, that is the height of erotica. I am like J! ohn VT in the fact that female pooping turns me on more than the sexual act. I’m a very happily married man, and my wife is quite attractive herself. I’ve never really posted about her, but she does some monster movements, dosen’t mind me coming in, and leaves a very generous smell! She’s 6’ tall, a lovely brunette with long, sexy thighs, and is very cute. She might even give you competition Malita, as she’s a famous “log jammer” herself. Anyway, I mention this because she has read your posts, knowing that I like them, and said “Boy, that Carmalita’s a cutie, isn’t she?” Naturally, I agreed. So, Carmalita, I’m looking forward to your next, massive, perfumy dump! Oh yeah, and I hope you had a great time with Jake the other night. I don’t know him, but he sounds quite taken with you. Of course, who wouldn’t be?

kim and scott
hello all! TO LOGGER-hello there. thanks for liking my posts so much!!.as you know I may be small in height but i am large in other ways!!!hahaha! and it turns me on too how huge and thick my logs are!!about my logs-they are usually brown to dark brown in color. and it depends, sometimes my logs are huge and smooth and sometimes they are huge and knobbly. more times hard and knobbly. they have a great texture to them too!just enormous and well formed.they have great ridges in them. my logs are usually thick and hard. a lot of the times they tend to be thick from end to end but some times they start thin,have a thick middle and a thin my logs are straight and curved about 50-50 percentof the time. sometimes they start out straight then they start to curve since they are soooo enormous in size!and i usually have to push my logs out . I get a huge BUZZ from pushing . it turns me on!!plus i never weighed any of my turds yet . maybe later ok? and anywayif i put one of my logs on a weight scale THE POOR SCALE MIGHT BREAK YA KNOW!haha! and yes i have tried straddling the tank and looking at myself blast out one of my enormous logs in the mirror and your right logger . i was in awe of myself. it was an unreal site to see! seeing my pink quivering butt-cheeks open up real wide to let this mammoth sausage out INCREDIBLE!!! as a kid I even put toilet paper in my hand then sat on the toilet, blasted out one of my gargantuan logs in my toilet papered hands and then held it up and admired my huge beast. i used to do this all the time. it gave me an unbelievable BUZZ!! holding up one of my enormous logs like this!!!. !thanks logger for liking my posts.I like yours too. I tell you!-yourself,john (VT),jeff A.and some other guys really know how to flatter a lady thanks. bye now. more kim and scott posts soon i promise!

Monday, April 02, 2001

I am interested in the terms people use to describe defecation. Most people who post here seem to say shit, take a shit, poop, crap, take a crap, take a dump, have a motion, have a movement, have a bowel movement, make number two, etc. When I was a kid, my mother's term for defecation was "making bowels". Not "moving bowels" or "making a bowel movement", but "making bowels". If she wanted to know if you had taken a shit, she would say "Did you make bowels?". For a long time, I actually thought the word "bowels" was a synonym for shit. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I figured out that "bowel" is actually a synonym for intestine. I have never heard anyone else use this phrase like this.

Has anyone else here ever used the phrase "make bowels" to mean "make shit"?

Everyone always talks about having big firm loads. does any one here normally have soft or loose poops?

I had to travel by train last week, and as I was stood waiting for a train, I couldn't help noticing a huge pile of shit on the track. Someone had obviously flushed a train toilet while it was stood in the station, and whoever it was had certainly needed to "go". There appeared to be 4 enourmous turds, almost identical in appearance. Its difficult to measure size from that distance but I estimate they were each about 8 inches long and 2 inches thick, and quite smooth. Personally I have never managed one turd that size, let alone 4! I suppose the person that did it went away very satisfied, and very proud.

This is my first posting. I thought you'd be interested in hearing about a recent toilet experience I shared with my girlfriend. We had a big meal out and had both been drinking a lot of alcohol. When we got home she told me she needed a poo. Because I had "courage" from drinking alcohol I asked if I could come to the toilet with her. She seemed really surprised but agreed. I kneeled next to her while she strained and pushed out 4 poos. I did not touch her, say a word neither did she. She wiped herself flushed the toilet and we left the toilet. It has not been mentioned and she has been to the toilet many times since. I have not been invited to join her again and I have not been able to ask her if I can watch again. Have any ladies out there been persuaded by their partners to do go for a poo in front of them? If so how should I introduce this a more regular basis?

SARA -- your technique is almost identical to my own, though I find if I wash way up inside my anus that soap or shampoo irritates the lining, burning a bit.

LINDA -- I too spit on the tp, and have since I was about 12. But yes, I also use tp wet with my urine to wipe my anus. You're right, it's harmless and it seems a waste to toss wee-wettened tp into the bowl, then tale more tp and spit on it to do the ame job. I will always do the later, though, as saliva, though far richer in bacteria than urine, has a smoother consistency that cleans better and leaves me feeling much more comfortable.

AUSTIN -- I'm an archaeologist, it's an occupational hazard to be a bit garrulous about history! Love to chat about peeing a pooping in the ancient world!

Cheers all,


Michelle and others interested: I once made #2 in the bath tub, while my father was giving me a bath. I was barely in 1st grade. I felt a doo-doo coming on. So, I released five brown thick pieces. My father screamed, "Althee, no!" He had to use toilet paper to remove the pieces. Then he continued to bathe me.
My boy cousins used to pee against hot radiators and watch the steam fizz. I could not because I was a girl.

Hey Austin -- I have a question about those two movies you mentioned. I vaguely remember seeing "Cross My Heart" on TV several years ago, but I don't remember the bathroom scene you mentioned. Was it the Annette O'Toole character who took the dump? Did they actually show her sitting on the toilet?

As for Josepha, I have heard of this film but have never seen it. Is the pooping scene explicit? Do you see or hear the woman shitting?

Movie Fan
Hey Austin -- I have a question about those two movies you mentioned. I vaguely remember seeing "Cross My Heart" on TV several years ago, but I don't remember the bathroom scene you mentioned. Was it the Annette O'Toole character who took the dump? Did they actually show her sitting on the toilet?

As for Josepha, I have heard of this film but have never seen it. Is the pooping scene explicit? Do you see or hear the woman shitting?

Somebody answer my posts about the girl and the family reunion bathrooms.

Billy L,
As a kid, we always had a special place to pee and poop in. It is called that bathroom. About 2 years ago, I had a broken leg, and couldn't walk. I had to use a bed pan. Plus, there used to be a potty chair in the living room for us and my little brothers. They still use it (they are 3 and 4) and we do if it is an emergency. Other than that, we always peed and pooed in the toilet. Sometime we pee in the shower too.

Outside, we always pee and poo in the woods. My mom taught us how early on, and we learned well. She knew that we would have to go when we were out there and wanted us to be comfortable.

The only other place that is unusual is that we have a bed pan our cars, for emergencies. Once or twice, when we were stuck in traffic we used it.

I clean my anus almost the same that you do. After I poo then
get in the shower I soap my hands and run it along my crack. I
also put my middle finger all the way in to get any excess poop.
I don't have soap on finger when I put it in b/c I don't want to
get the "runs "later from the soap. I've been this for years.
One of the other posters asksed how to get your poop harder.
I just eat lots of chocolate, cheese, and milk products.

Sometimes I dunk the toilet paper in the toilet water and then wipe my ass with it. Now I buy the Kleenex wet wipes and they are great. I heard they are coming out with wet wipes on a roll that you attach to your regular toilet paper dispenser. Girls, especially like to use them in my bathroom when they change tampons and have a lot of blood to clean up. Combine that with a messy dump and you have a lot of cleaning up to do.

Yesterday, the old lady and I decided to hike through the highlands, about 25 miles from our house. In spite of the rainy, cold weather that has dominated the Northeast the last 2 weeks, we just decided to go. It was overcast and cool when we parked our van by the railroad tracks, but no rain. We figured that we would walk a mile or so along the tracks, stop and eat lunch then walk back. This would give us a reasonable walk and a chance to film and photograph whatever happened by. The mile or so walk north was uneventful, except for the 2 long northbound trains that we filmed. After crossing another road and walking a short distance, we decided to stop and eat. This was interrupted by a fast moving southbound, that surprised us, as we were rather close to the tracks. We finished eating, packed our stuff and headed back. We had gone about 200 yards past the north road when I felt an afternoon dump coming on. I had done a modest poop before running that morning, and the feeling ! that I had now told me that a large crap was on its way. There wasn't much cover, so I picked a spot near the tracks. Nothing was coming, so I just dropped my drawers and squatted with my ass hanging over the edge of the ballast. We had eaten Mexican the night before, and yours truly just loves pico de gallo, so this was gonna be a hot one. AND HOW! With just a little pressure, I let out a burning foot and a half long log that was almost 2 inches thick. This was immediately followed by a couple of shorter burners, about 8 inches long. While I peed, a little breeze cooled my pink butt hole, from the pico that had exited like an umbrella opened the wrong way. Thankfully, my wife had brought wet wipes, just what I needed to cool my burning ass. After wiping, I raised my shorts and jeans, while my wife inspected the pile next to the tracks. I got an impish smile from her, signaling her approval and we continued on. We were near where we had parked, when the wife decided to pay Mot! her Nature a call. We found a little cove about 20 feet from the tracks, with bushes on each side. My wife walked in to the cove, while I looked up and down the tracks. Seeing nothing, I told her it was safe, so she lowered her jeans and panties, squatted, stuck her tongue out at me, then crapped a long thick poop, that made some noise at it exited. This was followed by a loud fart, that made us giggle. As she peed a stream, the silence was shattered by the air horn of an approaching train! I jumped forward, and saw a southbound slowly approaching our spot. I asked my wife if she was finished, got a negative nod, then said that I would try to screen her from view. So I approached the tracks, turned on the video and began filming. As the train got closer, I tried to distract the engineer, by getting him to look at the camera. But from his perch, and the look on his face, I knew that he could see my wife; so I backed up to cut down his angle. In doing so, I tripped and nearly fe! ll on my wife. I turned to look at her, and see this crazy lady of mine, still squatting, and waving to the engineer! I looked at the train, the engineer is grinning, then turns his attention to the crossing by the road where we were parked. As my wife wiped clean I yelled over the noise "What the hell were you doing???", but I only got a laugh from her. On the way to the car, she said that the train crew was probably going to see her, so she just decided to act naturally and wave to the train. As we got in the car we both exploded with laughter, and wondered if the engineer of that southbound had a funny if somewhat strange story to tell his co-workers, when he tied up his mile and a half or so long monster in the North Jersey yards!

To Calvin: Liked your story about truth or dare.

To Shawn: Way to go!! you shit in public with other guys...thats totaly cool. Wish i was with you!!

To CC: I have dreams about going to the bathroom...every so often. They are usally about all these open toilets and me having to go to the bathroom. In my dreams im usally alone but i hope someone comes in and sees me

Latly i've been shitting almost daily....Sometimes twice a day and they have been soft and mushy.

I have always meant to ask you something about the massive logs that you "blast" out. Do these huge single logs that you pump out have a particular or usual shape and color to them? I've heard our friends from England and Scotland describe the shapes and textures of theirs in detail- what about yours? Do they start out hard and "knobbly"? Are they smooth long sausages, or are they mostly hard or firm? Are they thickest at the beginning, the middle, or of the same thickness all the way down to near the end? Are they straight or curved? Do you let them come out under their own power, or do you always push them out? Have you ever weighed any of your huge turds? Have you tried straddling the toilet facing the tank, with your ass hanging off the seat? Try this sometime, with a mirror behind or beside you; lean them against the walls, at an upward angle, so you can focus right in on your butt and the floor beneath it. Put some papers down on the floor under your ass, and wat! ch. The views are absolutely incredible from these angles! You'll be totally in awe of yourself! Anyway, I love your posts! May you continue to produce ever- larger, awesome logs!

Carol (Housewife and mum)
WOW! Just like being bunged up for a few days, (Been there done that, got the tee shirt), nothing new on this Forum for a while then a lovely big load comes down. Great postings today.

Carmalita, I have "touched cloth" often when a big jobbie has started to come out of my back passage and the start has encountered the seat of my knickers and made a round brown mark. Luckily, apart from the very occasional accident, I have made it to the toilet in time and done the jobbie down the pan quite safely.

Now on the derivation of the word JOBBIE I agree that Billy Connolly helped to spread this lovely terminolgy from Scotland. As a kid we used to say POO or BIG JOB, (cant say I ever heard the term "wee job" used for urination, that must be an Edinburgh expression). I have always said, WEE WEE or PEE or TINKLE or even a DIDDLE. I first heard the word JOBBIE in a monologue entitled "The Jobbie Weecha" by Billy Connolly in the early 1970s and after asking a Scot's workmate about it I have used it ever since. It a nice satisfying word which seems to encapsulate the idea of a good well formed motion. I wouldnt for example call an attack of diarrhea "a jobbie" but either the runs or the squitters, to be a jobbie it has to be solid. My husband Keith and my two kids also use the word JOBBIE for a BM and my best friend and neighbour Michelle also uses jobbie for a bowel movement. I also read an old post about making the sound OO! when trying hard to do a jobbie . If you look in a ! mirror when making this sound your lips protrude and your mouth forms a ring just like the anal sphincter does as a big solid turd is starting to come out. It also seems to help expell the motion as you bear down. NN! AH! EH! etc while these are common sounds made while doing a motion dont have the same impact, so I must say I do go OO! OOO! when doing a big solid jobbie, it helps.

Pat, I have dreamt about using the toilet both for wee wees and jobbies but have only once wet and filled my knickers while asleep. This happened when I had a very bad dose of flu a few years ago and was in bed. I was also dosed up with "Night Nurse" a medication which makes one really sleepy so was totally out of it that afternoon. I dreamt I was going to the toilet and doing a big motion. As is usually the case this was is very accurate detail. I dreamt of entering the toilet, lifting my skirt, pulling dowm my panties , sitting on the pan and doing a long wee wee then a big easy poo. Now usually such a dream would wake me up and if I did need the toilet I would get up and go to the toilet and do it in the normal manner. This time being zonked out I did actually wet and load my knickers. When I woke a few hours later I was wet not only from sweat due to the fever of flu but had a big lumpy bulge in my soaking wet knicks. I called to my daughter who came into the bedroom, ! assessed the situation and with no fuss helped me get showered and put on clean clothing and she changed the bed, as we have waterproof mattress covers this only meant a wipe of the cover and clean sheets. Now this proves the wisdom of NOT being the Nazi parent when a kid has a wetting or pooing accident in their panties. I have always been non judgemental and kind to my children when they had "accidents" in their undies and this has paid dividends.

I have done a poo outdoors quite a few times and have also done one other than into the toilet pan when indoors. I dont mean into a chamber pot (potty) or bucket but into the shower tray. Keith and I were alone in the house a couple of years ago, the kids being on a school trip to France. I needed a jobbie and Keith came to the toiet with me . I had lifted my skirt and was about to pull down my knickers and sit on the pna when he stopped me and said, "Carol, Ive an idea. Can you squat down and do it in the shower tray as I would like to see the big jobbie come out of you?" No doubt some wives would object but I am very broadminded and agreed. I got totally undressed to make things easier and got into the shower squatted down with my back to Keith and did my wee wee then with an OO! OO! NN! started to do the jobbie. It was a nice big firm one and as I was holding my fat buttocks apart he could see my ring dome out and the start of the big mid brown turd slowly emerge. I w! as a solid knobbly jobbie, and slowly but surely grew in length before with a final OO! I finished it and its tapered end slid out of my back passage and it landed on the shower tray. It was about 14 inches long, 2.5 inches thick and shaped like a naval gun shell and lay steaming. I got up carefully and Keith wiped my bum with a moist although there was very little to clean up as my jobbie had been nice and solid. Keith was well turned on to our mutual enjoyment afterwards. Later he picked the jobbie up and dropped it down the pan where it took 4 flushes to go away. Ive done this for him a quite a few times since when circumstances allow.

This morning I had a nice big easy motion. We went out for a meal last night and when we had breakfast I needed a motion . With the lad at his girlfriend's we were alone so Keith came in with me and I did two big fat easy smooth sausages a 12 incher and an 8 incher, crackling as they slid out of me, which went "FLOOMP! SPLONK!" . (BTW my jobbies are usually 2.5 inches thick unless I am really constipated when I will sometimes pass a hard knobbly lump of 3 inches thick at its maximum). This motion wasnt a big one that broke in two as it came out as the ends were straight not ragged, the two jobbies being curved, dark brown, (I had red meat and "death by chocolate" as a sweet), and a bit smelly. Keith had to drive his cab today, but I know Im in for a good time when he comes home later!

Plunging Plop Guy
Hi, Here's my latest report from the bathroom!

I got up this morning with the usual strong urge to have a shit, but knowing that every day for the last week that has meant a lot of hard work.
No different today except that when I started to push the pain was less than it had been, and seems to be improving daily.
It took me 10 minutes to get the turd out, with an eventual loud crackling and sensations of a concrete whopper sticking out of my hole. It would have stayed there for ever if I hadn't continued pushing, until it started to drop and as it finally went, felt my arsehole tighten round it and firing it out with a lot of force, and plopping in the pan and scoring a bullseye as I got my arsehole and crack well-splashed.
A few more turds after that slightly easier until it was a bit sore again and I felt relieved enough to call that it.
As I looked down the pan, I saw splashes of red on the side of the pan and as I wiped my arse, yes, there was blood on the TP.
The ironies of nature! I do not enjoy pain and discomfort and yet this session would have been so enjoyable if it hadn't been for the pain and piles. Brilliant sensations of firm turds getting fired out and splashing up the arse and all my concentration on the act of shitting. And yet, I realise I'm not going as I should and long to go normally and not have to spend the rest of today sitting about on soft chairs!!
So,I've had a big bowl of cereal with prunes and figs, wheat bran and oat bran with another fruity cereal and well over a pint of water and tea, so the rest is up to my gut now.
That first hard turd that felt massive coming out was actually about 1" diameter circular turd!
Hopefully I won't need to go again today even though I didn't do much, but yesterday's almost filled the 6" deep water trap by the time I'd finished! Having passed blood; that might relieve pressure as it's happened like that before.

Sorry to share all these gruesome details but if it helps anyone in understanding the ironies and quirks of the human gut, it's worth knowing about.

Re. the story about the bus driver with no TP, the obvious moral to learn from his predicament is that we should all keep some TP in our pockets for such emergencies and yet so many don't!
Often I've heard men looking in toilet cubicles in search of paper, then leaving in disgust rather than ask anyone in a locked cubicle if they've got any they can spare, or before I've had the chance to call out that I've got some.
If we get taken short without a toilet available, then it's likely it will be an urgent one and therefore messy, so it's as well to have more paper with you than you would need for an average shit.
This needn't prevent asking others for TP in a public toilet anyway as a way of starting a conversation!

Some weeks ago I submitted a post that included a reply to the guy who was on a toilet when two evangelists stood talking to him as he sat there plopping with no door for privacy.
I asked whether they were of a particular faith and the post wasn't accepted. I tried again, wondering what part of my post was the unacceptable bit. Still it didn't appear. After my third try with no result I used the courtesy phone to ask the moderator what the problem was and I got a very speedy reply by e mail to advise what was the offending part.
Therefore, if anyone submits something that doesn't get accepted- do what I did and hopefully all will be made clear as it is quite difficult on occasions to determine exactly what it might be that is unacceptable. It may be part of the subject matter, or just one word that might offend.
The moderator returned my post by e mail so I could refer to it. (Thanks for your replies, my apologies for my rather aggrieved tone of message!)

The main part of what I wanted to say was about what happened a few years ago in the public toilet I've visited so often.
It seems that a few years ago, I was often in the right place at the right time, and it might sound too good to be true but to those of us who'd appreciate what happened, I assure you, this is exactly how it happened.

I was in there sitting on a toilet late one Sunday afternoon when I heard a guy come in and have a piss at the urinals. He was the only other one in there, and after he'd zipped, he went into the cubicle on my right. This would sometimes lead me to expect a face to appear over the partition, but instead I heard him pull down his trousers, sit on the toilet and soon I heard a loud plop. He wiped up and flushed and when he'd finished washing his hands at the sinks, I heard him call out "Bye!"
As there'd been no-one else in there, it seemed as though he was saying goodbye to me, but neither of us had met!

A few weeks later, I think it was, I was again sitting on the toilet when I was aware the guy on my left was dropping turds on a regular basis, every few seconds and there being no-one else in there, I started to chat to him about the sounds. I can't remember if I was plopping as well but he definitely was. I suggested we might meet outside and even said it would be good if we were able to share a bathroom together, and he agreed and so we arranged to meet outside and have a chat at least.
I imagined that once I got outside, (He went out first) he would have disappeared as it did seem to be too good to be real, but there he was sitting on a bench. We instinctively recognised each other and he seemed very pleasant, smiled and was young and quite well-built. He told me he likes to call in at that toilet on his way home from work as he enjoys the splashes up his arse when his turds drop!
From that alone, we were certainly on the same wavelength and both of us trusting there were no ulterior motives, I invited him to come and use my bathroom at home which also has good splash potential.
We walked back and as soon as he got in the bathroom, I put a tape on of my biker friend having a good toilet session with a lot of grunts and plops, but with no running commentary in consideration of my friend's anonymity.

My new friend pulled his trousers and underpants down and revealed a pair of very well-developed muscular thighs as he sat down on the toilet. Wearing rather loose trousers, I hadn't realised until now how big his legs were and as that wasn't the only thing that was big about him I felt rather small in comparison. He was certainly the guy with the biggest legs I'd seen at so close quarters as he sat there on my toilet, and as we both listened to the sounds of my friend on tape plopping into his toilet; this guy was doing the rest of the shit that he'd started when we met in the public bog.
I heard his plops and occasionally he told me that he'd just got his bum splashed and a big smile on his face as he told me, then after a few minutes he wiped his fit arse and I sat on the toilet where this really nice and very well-built young man had dumped and I sat there looking straight at his buttocks.

He then went back to go and get his bus home and I had to go somewhere so walked part way with him. He told me he was moving away soon and neither of us suggested keeping in touch. I think I felt overawed by his physique and couldn't really identify with him and I suppose it was silly of us not to keep in touch as we certainly shared a mutual interest.

A few weeks later I was there again in the toilets late one Sunday afternoon when all was quiet until someone came in and went into a cubicle two doors away on my left. I soon began hearing THE most ecstatic sounds I've ever heard before or since as he sat there on the toilet dropping smallish turds but the gasps of pleasure as he dropped each turd were brilliant!! It wasn't the grunting of working on pushing them out, but the pleasure of having droped them.
This went on for a few minutes during which time he probably dropped about 30 turds, and I couldn't wait to see who I'd been listening to. He wiped his arse with only about 3 pieces of TP, pulled up his pants and trousers, and without flushing came out as I was already at the sinks ready to see who it was and probably get in the toilet he'd just come out of.
As he opened the door- instant recognition! It was the same guy who must have instinctively known I was listening. We hardly chatted only very briefly as I was so keen to get on his toilet, and so in I went, saw all his small but firm-looking turds down the toilet and while the last of his sweat marks were disapearing from the back of the toilet seat, sat my own bare arse on this warm seat with full awareness of whose shit was under my arse and wishing I could add to it as if I could have had a shit myself, I'd still be able to plop as there was enough water to continue shitting into.
He'd arranged the TP so as to allow full view of all his turds in the pan!

Revelling in the intensity of the situation, I heard him finish wiping his hands at the sinks and as he called out "Bye!" I realised it was him I heard that Sunday afternoon a few weeks previously!

We met only once more after that again on a Sunday afternoon as I met him on his way there and so I went in to the toilet on his right as he proceeded to use his toilet and as I heard his plops I stood on the toilet and was able to look over the partition at him as he sat there covering the toilet and with no danger of being caught invading someone's privacy. The only thing I had to be aware of was that no-one came in to use the urinals who might see someone's head looking over a partition not realising it was with the consent of the guy shitting on the toilet!
I said to him that they sounded like big ones he was doing with the grunts and gasps he was making. He replied "They feel like it!" and laughed.

After that we never met again but such meetings can happen so unexpectedly and we may meet again.

One thing he told me was that he was once climbing the steps from an underground public toilet and right in front of him was a young guy with very brief shorts on who he'd seen coming out of a cubicle.
As my friend was right behind him, he noticed water droplets on the underside of this guy's buttocks as he climbed the steps and told me how much he'd loved to have been able to wipe them on his hands! Yes! He was certainly on exactly the same wavelength!!!

I know there's a few who will enjoy that long-awaited story of perfect timing and it's been great to share it!!

What a great idea it would be if someone was to build clubs throughout the world where people interested in toilet matters could socialise and there could be toilets to satisfy all tastes there!
Rows of toilets without doors, some also without partitions, ones for men only, women only, mixed, with toilets for maximum or minimum splashes, cameras, microphones, playback facilities of other's sessions on the toilets, slot machines on the wall to dispense laxatives if needed, and pictures of toilets from all over the world etc, etc. Nice fantasy anyway!

Have fun going! P P G

Sunday, April 01, 2001

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