COLLEGE PREP In the summer of 1972 I went to a college prep program for the legally blind (I see fairly well; I am called by some a high partial).
Well, back to our story. We were tested in basic skills; one of them was shaving. One day this middle aged black woman walked in the men's room. I was only 18, hence she was more in authority then she would be today. We entered without knocking, fortunatly the bathroom was empty. She wondered why I was smiling and giggleing a little. The news got around and I was told that I smile at inappropriate times.
Later I saw her enter the woman's bathroom. She is lucky that she wan not young and beautiful or I would have followed her in probably after she entered a stall.
To Karen: I've read a number of articles and books on the history of pooping. 2,000 years ago? At that time the romans had restrooms, a long wooden bench with, I don't know, 7 or 8 holes in it to sit over. The poop and piss ran through channels cut into a stone floor and out to a river. Fresh river water was diverted into the room to provide a continuous flow to flush out the channels. They wiped with natural sponges from the sea. Some of the old castles had a pooping room, a hole cut into stone or wood, and an elaborate "chute" system going to the upper floors. The poop and piss fell down the chute and into a bucket below. They had a ventilation system so that odors would not back up into the rooms of the castle. This is similiar to later European household systems, a wooden commode was located over a hole in the floor. They actually had workers come during the night to empty the buckets and take the crap to the nearest river and dump it. Half the time people just shit/pissed anywhere, in containers which were emptied into the street, or they did their business right on the street. Disease was a very serious problem with all that crap lying around, as you probably know large numbers of people were wiped out due to unsanitary conditions. So the modern plumbing systems are really wonderful, but we all take them for granted now.
Hey again! I really pulled a good one a week ago, sitting in front of this very computer, and it was something I know you would be proud of me for. Whenever I have Mexican food, I always have to move it on through after about an hour...it really runs through my system quickly, cleans it out from the spices I suppose...anyway, this particular night I had a horrible case of gas, and I was letting some go every couple of minutes.
I let one go, and instantly I knew it wasn't just any gas. I heard and felt the poop pile into my boxers, and I knew that it wasn't going to end there, as I always uncontrollably have to pee whenever I poop, and on cue, it came streaming out as I filled my shorts.
Also, my manager had a stomach virus this week but came into work anyway...big mistake. We were getting things ready as he suddenly grabbed his stomach and I heard a fartlike sound, but I knew it wasn't a fart...he'd done something like I'd done, and I saw it running down his leg. He had to go home and change into his only other clean shorts.:)
I also wet my bed this week, but it was on purpose. It was on a day off, and I didn't want to get out of bed, but I was about to explode with the amount that was in my bladder. I got kind of scared at first to let fly, because it had been quite some time since I'd wet my bed...however, I quickly overcame it and let the piss flow, and I soaked myself, then dropped into a deep sleep. I cleaned everything up, and it was fine...the best sleep I've had in a long time!
love, hopefully more accident stories from guys other than me! wets
Tale of that black Lab's knowing to go in the tub reminded me of my roommate's damn cat. She's an "outside"-type cat (is allowed outside & usually does her 'business' there, too).
I have an "inside" cat, and keep a litterbox in my bathroom between the toilet & the tub. Well, occasionally both J & I are out/town at the same time for a couple days, during which he's supposed to leave his cat outside. But he has forgotten several times, and I'll arrive home to find in my tub a putrid, liquified puddle from his stupid cat who's apparently got too much of an 'attitude' about using MY cat's litterbox just 1 foot away! And if it's gonna use a tub, why MINE instead of her owners?!? J always laughs about it, but I make HIM clean it up...which dampens his amusement somewhat
One more thing, re: Public Toilets. I hate to use 'em not for reasons of shyness but simply because they're usually FILTHY. Either there's crap smeared on the seat and/or they've been hosed down with urine by some twisted asshole (for his own amusement). One dream I have is to enter a pub. bathroom someday while in dire need just as some jerk who's intentionally filthified the bowl is just emerging from the stall. I will gleefully punch their lights out, then as they lay on the floor semi-conscious I'll drop trou & squeeze a 'soft-sculpture' all over their face & neck....see how funny they think THAT is
Hi. I came across this web page and was reminded of a time I went to downtown Chicago with one of my good friends, Rachel. We live out in the Western suburbs and take the metra train in to the city. Well, one day, we decided to go to the field museum and navy pier after that. Before I tell this story I must assure you that I have normal bowel and bladder habits with exceptions occuring when I'm sick. It normally takes about 5-7 minutes for me to poop and 1-2 minutes to pee. Anyway, we decided to eat lunch at the mcdonald's in the basement of the museum. Stupid me, I decided to order a double quarter pounder and super size it. I ate this large meal in about 7 minutes which is quite fast for me. My friend Rachel ate the same thing in about the same time. So about 1 hour into viewing the exhibits, I felt the urge to poop. I guess Rachel did too, because she mentioned it right after I told her. She is such a follower!! In the field museum there are two washrooms in the basement (where we were at when had to poop.) So, we went into the first one and there were only 3 stalls. Two of them were full and the third one was packed with poop in it. Rachel and I did not want to wait so we decided to go to the other one. The second washroom was quite bigger as it had ten stalls. Only 3 of them were full, so Rachel and I selected adjacent stalls. I pulled my panties and khaki shorts to my ankles and sat down. I could tell that Rachel, who was wearing a different shirt but had the same shorts, had done the same thing. For the first minute, I thought that this was just another normal poop. I pushed gently and not much came out. I could hear Rachel dropping a couple of small logs next to me. After the third minute with nothing I began to wonder if I even had to go. I could tell Rachel was almost done as she had begun wiping. 30 seconds later, I felt a hard big log emerge from my butt. About halfway out it became lodged! Oh no I thought. It took about 5 pushes in 2 minutes to get it out. By now, Rachel was flushing the toilet. Then, all hell broke loose. Three enormous logs came out of my butt all mushy and soft. Then 5 small hard chunks came out quite painfully. By now, it had been 15 minutes and I decided to end it. I wiped my butt about 8 times then turned around to flush. The toilet was full with mushy brown liquid solid stuff and paper and boy did it stink! I flushed the toilet and walked out of there. The same thing happened at Navy pier four hours later; I took another 15 minute mush crap. Finally, at home that night, I took a twenty minute one! I personally think that it was caused by the mcdonald's as that is not normal bowel habits for a 16 year old female. Anyone ever have that happen to them?
Finally! I did meet the girl that told me her pooping accident story! It was about a year ago when she was walking with little daughter in the park I feld some urge to poop. She sisn't really take it seriously and thaught that in about half an hour, when she will get back home, she'll take care of it then. Ten minutes passed by, and she felt another strong urge to go "#2". "I guess now is the time to start heading home", she was thinking, "it is about fifteen minutes walk anyway..." By the time she was approaching the entrance to her building, severe cramp made her fluffy, white-cotton-tights-dressed butt nearly let the mass out! "Oh, shit!!! I gotta hurry, I am about to start doing my pants..." The elevator arrived, she rolled her daughter and jumped into it like a lightning, pushed 8th floor, the engine started and the old heavy cabin began its slow way up. "Come on, come on, you, turtle!", she whispered to the old squeeky elevator. All of a sudden she had a feeling that some monster is starting to make its way out of her ass. She reached the seat of her tights and to her supprise, felt a little lump appeared in there! "No! I'm gonna hold it as much as I can and I AM GONNA MAKE IT to the bathroom!!!" Finally, the elevator arrived at the 8th floor. She walked out and went directly to her apartment. She realized that every step she made, that little brown snake was making more and more way out into her panties, stretching them more and more. By the time she walked into the bathroom, her tights were bulging like someone stock the soft ball in them. "Oh, I pooped my pants, I cannot beleive I pooped my pants...", she said to herself. She stepped right into the bathtub, turned the water on, and started to clean herself up. Later, she came to the conclusion that panties-pooping is a some kind of a turn-on, by the way!
I with I could see that accident, I'm sure I would end up being highly sexually aroused by watching her slowly blowing poop into her tights...
Eric (Alex's brother)
Hi again. Sorry I haven't been around for the last couple of weeks (I have been around, but too busy to be on the computer; you know what I mean :.) - My sister Alex left for school a couple of hours ago. As we hugged our goodbyes, she told me that she "meant to post a final message this morning" and asked me to "send everyone my love." She's become a TOILET addict. I'm sure she and Steph will continue posting from their (different) colleges.
I just turned 17, and will be going into my senior year at high school next week. A *mighty senior*, at last!!!!!!! PottyBoy, you mentioned about teenagers at your school taking massive dumps. As a teenager who eats and "lets out" a lot, I say "hear here!"
I very rarely dump at school, and most of my (male) friends are the same. I only go when I'm on the verge of shitting my pants; otherwise, I hold it until I get home or to another *private* bathroom. I know its irrational, but a lot of guys (at least in my town) are shy about having to "sit & shit" in a public bathroom. Girls (at least my sister and her friends, and from what I've read here, girls my age in general..) seem to be more comfortable going to the bathroom in groups; they have to go into a stall and sit down regardless of the "number," so that's my theory.
I have heard of girls having to use the mens' room stalls when the ladies' room lines are too long, or the ladies' is closed (my sister had to pee in a mens' room a couple of years back). Brielle/Erica, I've NEVER seen nor heard of a girl peeing into a urinal, not here in Connecticut, anyway. That sounds so cool!
No out of the ordinary (diahrrea, constipation, peeing in the woods, that kind of thing...) bathroom experiences for me since last time, though my friend Laura was right about everyone having to piss really bad after our beach trip. That was the best (meaning I felt so comfortable afterwards) piss I've taken in a long time!!!!!!! Later, all. Eric
Well, the best dump occurred on a camping trip a few years ago. I found what seemed a perfect forked branch to perch my buttocks on, and I felt like the king of the world (as this was the best dump site I have ever seen). I sat down and proceeded to excreet. As usual, the dump was very satisfying, but I noticed an unusual aroma coming from the mounting pile. As I leaned forward to examine the poop, I noticed there was half a log lying on top of my boot. I was disappointed, because I thought that I had mastered the art of wilderness dumping. I proceeded to fling the dump off of my boot, and that is when disaster struck. As I kicked, the unexpected shifting of weight on the branch caused one of the forks in the branch to snap, producing severe lacerations on the gluteus maximus; also falling down causes me to fall into my mound of crap. Another result of falling off the branch was that my leg shot out to try to counter-balance the fall, causing the loaf on my boot to shoot at a high rate directly into my face. My head recoiled by instinct and hit the wooden log I was sitting on, rendering me unconscious. As I lay unconscious, my muscles relaxed, and caused the rest of my bowel movement to travel down my leg!
Monday, September 01, 1997
One more useless factThe romans had flush toilets (public and private) and a sewer system that usually drained drectly into a nearby river.
I don't have any historical data but, a book has been written by a woman, "How to Shit in the Woods"
The book discusses how to do it, and it's impact on the environment.
It's a serious looks and has extra chapters for women's needs (how not to pee on your ankles).
I have a copy somewhere around my place, if you want more info
It is so wonderful to read posts here from women. Alex, Steph, Susan, keep up the great work! I had an experience with watching another guy dump, although it wasn't by choice. When I was in high school, our football coach used to call us in to talk while he was seated on his favorite spot (the toilet). He was a big hairy guy, so as you can imagine, the smell wasn't pleasant. He seemed totally unaware that there was anything unusual about this, and would just talk football or whatever. Weird.
That does bring up something I was curious about. I had never thought women received the same enjoyment from a good dump as guys do. I mean, for me, the satisfaction and relief after a really large load is almost comparable to sex (and I get to dump every day!). It is an experience to savor, not a "hurry up and get done" thing. I'd like to know if the women here feel the same way?
Are any of you hisory buffs? I'm not, but I've always been curious as to what people who lived 2000 years ago and whatnot did when they needed to do their deed. Maaybe someone can fill me in. This is the kind of stuff that they need to put in textbooks!
Hi again. A couple of more comments before I'm off to school. Yesterday, I called my boyfriend from college, Tom. He lives 500 mi away, so I haven't seen him all summer (though we communicated by e-mail at least once a day and talked on the phone several times a week). Tom is the coolest, sweetest, guy you'd want to meet! I never mentioned him until now 'cause there I didn't have any bathroom stories, until now...
We were talking on the phone when he said he had to go to the bathroom. I asked him if he had to take a pee or a dump. "Pee, why?," he responded. I asked him if he was on a portable phone. "Yes." I then requested he bring the phone into the bathroom and place it on the edge of the toilet.
He originally wanted to call me back, but I insisted on listening to him. He put the phone on the toilet and I heard him let out 20 seconds of pee. He flushed and I then heard water coming out of the sink (he was washing his hands). He then picked up the phone "Hear anything, Steph?" I told him "yes" and thanked him for letting me listen. He seemed kind of puzzled by my request, but I wanted to hear him go!
I didn't have to go while we were on the phone, but I have other plans for the fall! My plan for Tom is to have both of us watch each other go (meaning watching him sitting down to take a dump) by the end of the semester... [Moderators: hope the following aside isn't too out of line, but this gives some perspective to the readers. Tom and I were an "item" most of last year, and we became very close during spring semester. Yes, we had sex numerous times last year, so we've both seen each other naked- it should be interesting for us to see each other "bare" ourselves on the toilet. I've never seen a guy go to the bathroom, and I doubt he's seen a girl go, so this should be interesting...]
I'm afraid I won't be around to post until probably the weekend. Next week will be one of the busiest school weeks of the year, so I'll be attending to other things. I promise to keep in touch. Peace and love to all. Steph :)
I read a bunch of the previous post,this is a pretty wild place!I had an accident two years ago that I'll share with you. If I have to pee in a public bathroom thats o.k.but if I have to poop,well thats a different story! I don't know why I'm like that but I am.Well,I was at the mall with a friend and started getting really strong cramps the worst I had ever felt I think in my entire life! I told her that I was really hurting and that I wanted to leave so,knowing how I am about public toilets she agreed and suggested that we go to her house cause it was closer.On the way over there twice I thought I was going to lose it in her car! I didn't have the runs or anything,I just really had to go bad and knew I had a turd the size of a buick that wether I wanted it to or not,was coming out! Finally we make it to her house,I get out of the car and tightly holding my butt cheeks together waddle to her porch.Annie then says,"Uh oh,I loaned my house key to my roomate so she could go get another key made." I couldn't believe it! Just my luck! I had already began to poop in my pants just a little,and knew I was in very big trouble.She went around the house,checking all the windows while I stood on the porch in pure agony!That was it! I did good just to get to her house but when we couldn't get in I simply couldn't hold it any longer.She was still around back trying to jig the sliding glass door.I just closed my eyes and finally relaxed my butt muscles and let go.I couldn't believe it! This was the worst crap I had ever taken,and I had to do it in my jeans!It was so bad that as soon as Annie came back around front she immediatly noticed the bulge in my pants and it was still growing!It felt so good to relieve myself but at the same time it felt horrible having so much poop in my panties and jeans!It was really a load! it just kept coming and coming.Worst part was it took almost two hours before she finally got a hold of her roomate to let us in so I could clean up! And of course I peed tooWorst accident by far that I have ever had.Next time I get cramps like that I think I'll just use the public toilet.
I went to a high school that had no stalls around the toilets in the boys bathroom. Hardly anyone used these toilets, but for a while my bowels got "out of sync" and I found myself having strong urges to shit at school around 10:30 AM. So I had to use these toilets. At first I felt very shy about doing it, I would ask the teacher for a pass during class so that there would not be too many people in the bathroom. It's a little funny asking for a pass at age 16. So I started using these toilets. A number of other guys saw me and watched me and looked at my load. That was cool. One day I went in to shit, and some boy had pissed all over the toilet paper! Boy was I pissed! I used the girls room instead. The toilet seat in there was all sticky with the sweat of 1,000 girls bottoms, which I thought was a turn on.
Hi everyone! I am new to posting, I have been reading this stuff for a couple weeks and I think it is groovy! I am an 18 year old college freshman and have been fascinated by the fact that the dorm I live in has an all girls floor and we can't let guys into the bathroom, but there are urinals in there! Anyhoo, I pee and crap everyday with the door open, even living in a dorm! (But I didn't mention that my roomie and myself are the only ones on the floor with a private bathroom.) She doesn't like to admit she is pooping to me. Well, who really likes to talk about that stuff to a relatively total stranger? I'm just a little odd like that, I guess. Please say hi to your new friend Karen!
Alex, Steph and Susan:
I enjoy squeezing the turds out. What do you like doing the most peeing or dumping?
Sunday, August 31, 1997
story: I composed yesterday's post off-line and copied it over. Apostrophes and quotation marks (' and ") were interpreted as numbers (1,2,3). Sorry about that. I will compose on-line for now on.
I took another shit this morning. It is more solid than yesterday's; I've been very good about not consuming any dairy. I'll be going back to school tomorrow; although I'll have internet access, I won't be able to check in with you as often. I'll be sure to let you know about my GI results, though. Thanks all, you guys are great. Take care and lots of love! Jodi
My wife use to take laxative to try to lose weight One night we were out in the car when she said she needed to get home I ask her what was worng. She told me she had taken a saline laxative that a girlfrend had told her about .She learled later that type increases water volume in the intestine and could work quickiey Well to make thing worst there were no reststop near by and we were at lest two hr's home. She started to get bad cramp,s finaly she ask me to pull the car over she didnot think she could make it .As shi moved her hip to get out of the car the tight grip she had on her ass let go .Some wet poop started to come out .She fell back into the car trying to gain control. I ask her what she wanted to try to do she said I don't think I will be able to get these tight jeans off and Iam weareing a light control type panties . All at once it happned .She shit allover
Hi Susan! I just got an e-mail from Steph asking me to "elaborate" on my shit (in front of her) last week. No problem. I lean forward slightly when pushing; I usually don't make any grunting "sounds," though. I'll admit it was very difficult to do this (go in front of her), even though she is my best friend. Susan, I guess you're right about it being a "trust" issue, being able to do something which is normally so private in front of a close friend- I hope you and Ruth are able to go in the presence of each other. Please let me know how you make out!
Steph also e-mailed a copied post she submitted yesterday, regarding her shitting in front of me. I read her comments, and really have nothing to add, other than to say it was a "bonding" experience. Laura, who is very close to both of us, did not want to join in on this. It is very difficult to watch somebody go to the bathroom, especially if one is conditioned to think it's a private matter. Her decision must be respected; although Steph and I have been able to break the "taboo" of going to the bathroom in front of each other, some people can't cross that boundary. Again, a decision which must be respected- we (Steph and I) don't think any less of Laura for not wanting to watch...
Love always, Alex :)
Hi Redneck, I love your stories about shitting with other guys. Where are u from,love to hook up and have some fun taking a good dump together. Let me know
DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU WOULD THINK
A long time ago I over heard a friend at work talking about his black Labrador Retriever. One day his while he and his wife were at work the dog (Bow) had to pee real bad. Bow had a problem and solved it in a way by being more ingenious then some human beings in these posts. Bow peed in the bath tub.
When John came home from work he saw it and was much impressed. All he had to do was turn on the water.
I guess bow must have seem John and his wife take a bath and go to the bathroom.
"A friend of mine" once told me a tale of when he was younger and off drinking with his girlfriend. Well, he got drunk, and his girlfriend opted to drive him home. About half-way to his house, he had the most righteous urge to take a piss. What is it about large quantities of alcohol that makes one want to piss anyway? Back to the story. My "friend's" girlfriend had to stop at a local hamburger joint so that he could give in to his urge. The name of the burger joint will be royally omitted. Anyway, when my "friend" went into the bathroom to relieve himself, the stench nearly knocked him down. There was someone in the shitter letting it fly. My "friend" had to piss while holding his breath, which is virtually impossible. The mad crapper had finished his job before my "friend" could shake twice. When he came out of the shitter, he was wearing the burger joint uniform and eating a burger! What is it about large quantities of alcohol that makes one want to puke anyway?
Hi guys! White Pony and James, glad you enjoy my BM stories! Susan, the remainder of this post is addressed to you; anybody else, of course, is welcome to read this and send me comments/questions :)...
Alex "cashed her raincheck" yesterday (Friday). First, a little background. I worked yesterday, and had spicy, Indian vegetarian food for lunch (I think a lot of you know where this leads to...). [I will be making a couple of comments of clothing; very relevant for this posting. I wear "unisex" clothes, jeans, sweats, shorts, about 95% of the time. I, being a female, also have a couple of skirts for 'formal' occasions and several "peasant" dresses. I happened to be wearing one of those peasant dresses yesterday...]
Yesterday evening, Alex and Laura were hanging out at my place. We're all going back to (different) schools next week, and they were helping me pack. I started to get stomach cramps- nothing serious, but I knew a *serious* dump was pending! I invited both of them in to watch me. Laura, who's somewhat bashful, wanted *no* part of this; she sat out in my den- that was cool by me. Alex came in behind me and shut the door (in case my mother happened to come down; she knows nothing about this).
I pulled up my dress, down my panties, and sat down on the shitter. As I mentioned, I 'felt' as if this was going to be a serious one. I got into my position as soon as I sat down. Several soft ones immediately came out of my butt (I also peed at the same time). Alex and I were talking casually. I knew there was *much* more to be let out, so I raised the upper part of my body, took a couple of gasps, and got back into my position. (I peed off and on during the entire time I was on the toilet...) A couple of more plops came out. By that time the smell was *rippin'*!!! Repeated the gasping and slouched back down and let out two or three more turds!
After 10 min. or so, the urge to go ceased, so I got up. [Susan, you mentioned (on a couple of posts) how you lifted your skirt before going (at work). I feel so stupid for writing this, but I hate going to the bathroom while wearing a dress. I guess my *coordination* isn't that great- what I mean is I have trouble wiping my butt and holding up my skirt at the same time. I fear getting excrement on my dress, so I have often taken the dress off (so it drops to the floor) prior to wiping...] I looked into the toilet (as I always do) and counted seven, soft, reddish-brown turds (the color and consistency, not to mention the odor, a result of my lunch). Alex offered to hold up my dress while I wiped myself. After wiping my vagina (which I always do first), I started wiping my butt. This was a very "gooey" shit, and I don't want to mention the number of times I had to wipe (think it was ten...)
When my dumps are that massive, I usually flush (first) before starting to wipe, but I didn't yesterday. I flushed the toilet, by that time filled with more bumwipe than poop. The toilet was pretty darn close to overflowing on to the floor! Alex ran upstairs to get the plunger. I plunged six times to get the initial wave down. Waited for the bowl to refill and flushed again. Repeated step a third time. Even after the third time, there were "speckles" in the bowl, so I flushed a fourth (and last) time- there were still "skid marks" on the rim, even after the fourth flush!
Susan, a couple of answers re: Alex's shit on Tuesday. I honestly had **NO** idea whatsoever of Alex's "plans." The only time I have seen her (and she has seen me) type posts to this group was the day she introduced me to this site. I saw her "you never know" letter the next morning (after the fact). I was so *excited* about her surprise I failed to notice any gasps or grunts [I'm sure she would be glad to fill you in :) ]. You are sooo cool!!! I hope you take a nice dump in front of Ruth, and pray she has to dump at the same time... now *that* would be AWESOME!!! We seem to have a lot in common, so I hope you don't mind my asking you a personal question. You mentioned Ruth being a friend since high school and posted something about wetting your bed at age 17... how old are you, Susan? The way you write, your experiences, etc. lead me to think you're not that much older than we are (I was born in 1978, so that makes me 19). Again, hope that's not too personal, man. (speaking! of things in common, I also have a gym membership. I don't go as often as I should, but I prefer outdoor activities...)
I talked to Jodi (on the phone) yesterday. She told me a little about her appointments, but found out most of the *details* on here. Blake, I'm sorry the Lactate pills did not work. What a BUMmer! (no pun intended)
Before anyone asks, Alex did NOT have to go to the bathroom (while she was over yesterday).
Who poops the most? Men/Women, Boys/Girls??? Whenever I clean high school bathrooms, you would not believe the number of clogged toilets I have to clean. It always seems like teenagers shit enormous shits cuz they eat so much. They eat/poop 3-4 times as much as an older adult. My plunger gets a workout whenever I'm in a high school bathroom. The boys seem to have the edge for laying toilet cloggers, but many girls poop a lot also. Fortunately the toilets usually do not overflow. One time there was not a plunger to be found anywhere, so I had to use my hand to push the poop down the drain hole.
Saturday, August 30, 1997
I have friends that come over to go swimming in our pool and we all change in the back house that my Dad built when we put in the pool. We usually change girls in one room and guys in another and just throw our stuff on the floor and rush out to the pool to see who can be first in. Well, this one friend Steve always has outrageous massive skid marks and I'm always kiddin him did he shit his pants? He always says no but even has them on the ouside of his underwear - I guess he wears them backward some times. Most times he tries to cover his underwear because he gets teased about shitting his pants but sometimes theyre laying out and it does look sometimes like he just took a crap. No one else even comes close to Steve for skid marks.
Hey everyone, I haven't been around my computer for a few days. I haven't had any interesting craps for the past couple of days. So, I was thinking I would just tell everybody about today's. It was just an average dump. I was at work. It was about 9 AM. I sat down in the bathroom and pushed. Lots of pieces came out all at once. I guess it was one of those coffee propelled ones. It also took awhile to wipe up, and, after flushing, there were some of the infamous skidmarks. White Pony: I don't know about the hardware store thing. I guess it could be macho, but for me, it was scary. James: Hi James. I've heard that the "wrap around the bowl" dumps are the most healthy ones. But for me, they never happen at home. The last one I experienced was at the airport. I was just about to get on a plane. I get constipated when I travel anywhere. I decided to take a dump at the airport because I knew I would be constipated once I got in the air. It happens that fast. It is sort of cool when you get one of the wrap around the bowl ones. I sort of wanted to leave it for the rest of the people to see. But the toilet flushed automatically. It was one of the bigger disappointments of my life.
A week or two back, I went in to the toilets at work, in to one of the cubicles to go for a pee. Anyway, some other guy went in to one of the other cubicles. I thought nothing much of it until I heard him. "Pffft. Pffffffft. Pffffffffffffffft". Then rather wet farts.
I tried hard to not laugh myself stupid, so I stood in the cubicle for at least five minutes, with my fingers in my ears, trying not to laugh.
After a long while, I took my fingers out of my ears, and waited to check the coast was clear. It wasn't. The guy must have had some SERIOUS case of the slops, 'cos it was about ten minutes before he actually left.
I went back to my desk, trying to forget the experience.
Hi everyone. I promised you an update after my doctorıs appointment, so here I am. I went to my general practitioner (aka ³regular doctor²) on Monday. I had my annual physical and told her about my bowel problems. She asked me about my diet. I told her I eat a pretty healthy diet, though I eat more pizza than I should :-) She asked me if I consume other dairy products. I told her I have 3 or 4 glasses of milk a day, cereal for breakfast, and the occasional ice cream.
She recommended a gastrointerologist (GI) in the same medical center, and agreed to have her receptionist book an appointment for me. Before I left, the doctor asked me not to have any more dairy products for a couple of days, to see if perhaps that was the problem. I had cereal (with milk) Monday morning, but heeded my doctorıs advice not to eat/drink any dairy products. I took my regular, gassy shit Monday afternoon (this after my cereal that morning and pizza the previous night).
I resisted the temptation to have any dairy products. By Wednesday morning, my BM was harder, less gassy, and a LOT less smelly! From what Iıve read and heard, I think I have lactose intolerance (though milder than yours, Blake; Iıll write a couple of paragraphs to you later)
I luckily was able to get an appointment this morning (Friday, 29 Aug). Yesterday afternoon, Thursday, the GI called me and instructed me to have a couple of glasses of milk two hours before coming in. When I came in, I told the GI my history, and how not consuming dairy products for the last couple of days has improvedı my BMs. I also felt the urge to take a shit and told him I had to go.
He told me I could go into the bathroom to do my duty, but also to leave some BM in a jar. He asked me NOT to wipe my bum afterwards. After I went (yes, it was my previously routine soft shit) I came back to the office with some of my shit in the jar (it was very awkward going into that jar). He put a probing instrument up my very, very crappy bum and took a sample of my BM. He told me that some tests were going to be done on my samples (from the jar and the stuff he wiped from my butt) and instructed me to revert to not consuming any dairy products, I ³could very well be lactose intolerant.²
I left (but not before going into the same bathroom and wiping my bum-crack a half-dozen times!) and went home. I should be getting the results back on Tuesday, by which time I will be going back to school. It will be such a relief if this problem can finally be pinpointed!
Blake, sorry that pill you took didnıt work out for you. :-( I complain about *my* bowel problems, but they pale in comparison to yours. Iım glad youıre so willing to share what must have been very embarrassing moments. Please continue to let everyone know how youıre making out... I hope that a solution will *finally* be found for your problem. Take care, everyone. Thanks, Jodi.
*Two Stories*: One from college days, one from "real life"---#1: Sophomore year I lived in dorms where two "suites" of 3 two-person rooms shared a bathroom in the middle. Of many strange things the bunch of us did, one was boasting about who took the 'best' shits (as defined by either volume, appearance and/or smell). Of course, our typical diets (beer, pizza & dining-hall food plus more beer) ensured superlatives in all three areas. After awhile--seeing as how verbal debate proved irreconcilable-- I proposed the idea of photographically recording our respective "best efforts". It wouldn't capture the olfactory essence, of course, but would eliminate lying on the other parts. So I offered my Polaroid for this purpose, and we all snapped pics over time of what we considered our "personal bests". Then, when we threw a suite keg-party we taped our favorite pics (one entry per person), which were identified on the front only with a number, on the wall near the keg with a sheet of paper for voting on the "Best Dump". All guests were required to vote on their favorite before filling their cups. A few of the partiers--male & female- complained about it being "gross", but if they wanted to DRINK OUR BEER, they had to PICK A SHIT. Wish I could say I won, but I only placed 3rd (I'm QUITE sure I would've won had odor, too, been considered). But that party was talked about thereafter for some time
STORY #2: In '91, two coworker/friends & I were returning home from a beach weekend in Ocean City, Md. Dave & I were in my car; Ray was following in his. We'd left OC around midnite Sunday after spending the evening bar-hopping & munching typical snack fare (spicy wings, nachos). Sometime after 1am both Dave & I needed to stop for liquid relief; plus, Dave was also "brown-capping" from all that spicy junk food. So I pulled over when we came upon a suitable patch of trees, with Ray stopping behind about 50' back. Dave grabbed the TP travel-roll ("NEVER leave home without it") & trotted into the woods; I stopped just at the edge to unzip---the road was deserted that time o'morning and I've never had a problem with roadside relief. Well, I was in mid-stream when a county cop motored up, slowed quickly when he saw our cars, then scanned the area with his spotlight. I was just zipping up when he shone it on me, so it was unmistakable what I'd been doing. I sheepishly returned to the car as he was strutting up, looking stern, and proceeded to give me hell: "Just WHAT the HAY-ELL do yew think yer DOIN'?!? Does this LOOK like a god-damn bathroom to YEW ?!?" Then he did the license/registration thing, and peered all around inside the car with his Maglite (looking for ANYTHING serious he could bust me on, like weed or open beer, of which we had none..was all long gone
). I figured he was at least gonna write me up for the public pissing, but all he did was continue lecturing: "You think the owner appreciates you taking a leak on his property? How'd YOU like it if he came to YOUR house & relieved himself in YOUR front yard?!?" I stifled a giggle, thinking of Dave still in the woods. "You get your asses home over the bridge (Chesapeake Bay Bridge) _raght now_." I got in the car & pulled out, Ray following. When we got to the next crossroads, we turned off & parked & waited 10 minutes, then double-backed to pick up Dave. That was! some capper to the weekend.