Hi everybody – hope you all had a great time. I did and paid for it. Mom, Dad, Melanie (my sister) and I were all in New England for the holidays staying with relatives for about five days. Of course my diet was out of control and I suppose that’s why around Wednesday night while watching family videos I started to feel pains in my ????. I tried to ignore them but they came in waves that steadily got worse and worse until I eventually had to leave the room. I sat on the toilet clenching my ???? but all that came out was a long quiet fart. At least the pain went away but I could feel that my ???? just wasn’t right. In any event I chewed some “Tums” before bed and I did manage to sleep. The next morning came and although there was no pain, I could sense that dull full feeling and I knew I would have to poop at some time. The trouble was that Thursday was fly-home day and so by mid morning we were at Boston’s Logan airport waiting on our Delta flight back to Atlanta. I guess the trouble really started when our take off was delayed and I began to wonder whether I would make it through the flight without visiting those awful airplane toilets. It’s not only the toilet itself that’s off-putting, but that everybody seems to be staring at you when you use it. As it turned out the flight was very bumpy and the seat belt sign was lit almost all the way. To make it even worse we were forced to circle for about 20 minutes because, the pilot announced, bad weather and heavy traffic were causing delays at Hartsfield. By this time my ???? was beginning to cramp again and the full feeling was getting worse. I hung on thinking “Oh hurry up, please don’t make me have to use the airplane toilet”. I told Melanie I was desperate to do a poo and I would have to leave all my cabin baggage for her to look after and that I would meet everybody where the escalators go down to the subway. To make it worse we were in row 37 so I knew there would be yet another agonizing wait before I could get off the plane. As soon as the plane stopped at the gate I stood up in the isle and my ???? immediately started to hurt really badly about half way between my belly button and my crotch. I didn’t feel any great urgency for anything to come out but the pain had convinced me that I was terribly backed up with an enormous quantity of diarrhea that could explode into my panties at any time. I squeezed my ring as tightly as I could and prayed for the line to move. I looked back at Melanie and she could obviously tell by the pained look on my face that things were desperate. “Just hold on,” she whispered. Eventually the line began to move but every step forward seemed to take an agonizing eternity. Then at last I was out of the plane at gate B22 and there mercifully was the most wonderful site in the world – the ladies room. I hurried as fast as I dared and found the first empty stall. I was in such a hurry I lost control of the door and it slammed shut with a huge bang, but I didn’t care. I almost tore my belt off and pulled the zip of my jeans down so hard it jammed at the bottom. I forced my jeans and panties down to my knees and lowered my poor tush towards the waiting bowl all in one motion. I must have been holding my breath all the way from the plane because I remember gasping as finally I was sitting on the toilet with absolutely nothing between my hole and the waiting water. Almost immediately I started a short but furious pee. I actually felt a little better for peeing and the pressure subsided just a little. But even as the last drops dripped from between my legs I had no time to wipe myself before I felt the sensations of poo dropping down to press on the inside of my ring. I was still sitting upright expecting an explosion of brown water to gush from my rear, but instead I felt the infinitely more pleasing sensation of my ring gradually being opened by the nose of a large firm poo making its way out. I shuffled forward on the toilet seat and leaned forward to help it on its way. I soon discovered it was in no hurry but equally it didn’t seem that it was likely to hesitate on its way either. Ever so slowly the nose made its way out leaving my ring nicely stretched without being uncomfortably painful. I stared at the door and savored the feelings dancing around my hole as my poo continued on its way. It felt very smooth with no bumps and at times I could barely tell that it was even moving yet I knew that it was growing ever longer and longer as it inched its way down towards the water. I had no way of telling just how much poo had emerged but I began to be aware that this was one of those very rare occasions when the pleasurable sensations in my rear were building to the point where they were actually moving forward to cause sensations of an entirely different nature. I savored this new dimension and became totally absorbed in the pleasure I was experiencing as my poo still kept coming. Eventually I sensed the pressure back off and the onset of that empty feeling that follows a really good poo. At last the tail eased out and very gently let my ring close leaving me with one of the most satisfying and relieved “after-poo” feelings I can ever remember. I struggled back to my feet and looked in the bowl. I have no idea how long it was but at least 4 inches rested on the front of the bowl above the water and the rest curved straight back to disappear around the bend in the outlet pipe. Since I lost track of time I can’t even tell you all how long it took, but I would guess it must have been somewhere between one and two minutes.
Smith – I think it was you who asked me a while back what was the largest and most satisfying poo I had ever had. I think this one probably has to be it. Lots of love to all of you – from Melissa.
I had a "chilling" experience today. It snowed over 10 inches where I live, in New York, and I decided to try something new. My mom was at home, so I put on my boots and coat, and walked 1/8th of a mile to a secluded area in some woods near my house. With me, I brought some tissues and Mag-Light. After walking into the woods (it was 9pm) I took a quick glance around, and dropped my pants and underpants. I then sat down in the snow and proceeded to take a crap and to pee. When I was done, I stood up, got my tissues out, and wiped myself about 4 times. I then picked up some snow and wiped my privates with it. Going sitting down in the snow was something new to me, and it felt good to have my own "custom seat" formed by my ass. About being numb down there: My asscheeks were the only part of me that were numb; my hole, penis, and testes didn't feel numb at all, even after I wiped them with the snow. I don't know how women would feel, and what areas would be numb to them. I would l! ike some feedback in this area. Try sitting down in the snow and doing your business, it felt good to me.
By the way, I am a 15 year old male with no girlfriend (but hopefully I'll get one soon) in tenth grade. I'm 5'11'' and 182 pounds (or 13 stone for those of you in the UK). Please write me back on the issue of "snow toilets"
Is anyone else out there afraid to shit in public? Im too embarassed to go, I dont know why. But I always poop at home. Just wondered.
Here's one for Stunned Girl and others here who complain that they seldom get to see a guy on the can in the movies, at least not as often as females are shown. A few days ago, the Independent Film Channel (US) played "The Brothers McMullen." It's about three Irish-American brothers with women problems - either with a wife or their gf's. In one scene, one of the younger brothers is visitng the home of his older, married brother. He goes into the bathroom and, after a short time, his older brother, who has an affair on his mind he wants to talk about, pushes his way through the door. "Hey!" says the younger one, "I'm takin' a dump, do you mind?" The older brother gives him a hard about the smell and says, "How about a mercy flush, huh?" The two then get into a serious conversation that ends when the older brother says, as he's leaving the bath, "Hey, wipe yourself, OK?" Now the disappointment, ladies: the pooper is shown only from the waist up, but it's still a good sc! ene for the descriptive language.
I woke up in the middle of the night cause i knew we were gonna get snow...and we got nothing. While i was up i got a sudden urge to shit. I sat down and pushed out some very loose and mushy shit. When i was done i wiped and i stood up and i noticed some corn in my shit...Boy it passed through me really fast. I had sucatash(corn and lima beans) at 12pm friday and then i shitted it out around 2:30am sat. morning.
To KT: Awesome story about meeting those girls and you had to look out for them while they shitted.
To Mike: I liked your story about being at the party and having to piss soo bad. Thats a bummer u pissed your pants, u must have been embarassed?
Oh i like that picture, better then the last one
Kev (big brother of Ellie & Little Lou)
My two little sisters may have told you about me. Whatever they have told you, I love them both loads. They are sweet, beautiful, clever girls, the best little sisters anyone could wish for.
We are very close, and we like to share a lot of things, including going to the toilet together. As you may know, my sisters have learned to pee standing up thanks to the advice of kind people on this site.
A while back, I had a big falling out with my sisters. It all happened cos I'd had a bad experience with a girl, which led to a mistrust of the female species as a whole. I stopped going to the toilet with them, and they both got upset, thinking they'd done something wrong. Then, I took it all out on my youngest sister Lou, making her wet herself by tickling her when she was desperate to pee. She got smacked by Mum for acting like a baby, which made me feel terrible. Later on, I owned up, and Mum withdrew the privilige of going to Kickboxing for a fortnight, but that was nothing compared to how bad I felt for hurting my baby sister.
We started going to the toilet together when we moved into the place we live now. Mum and Dad own a pub, and we live above it. At the time, Ellie was seven, I was eight, and Lou would have been almost two. The first night, Ellie came into my room crying cos she was frightened of the dark. I let her come into my bed, and we sat and talked for ages. Then she said she needed the toilet, but she was too scared to go. I remember telling her that I'd come with her, and she agreed, but made me promise not to watch. When we got there, the light didn't work, so it didn't really matter which way I faced anyway. Ellie was so scared of the dark she made me hold her hand so I wouldn't leave her. Every night after that, she came and woke me up if she needed the toilet, and that's how it started. When Lou was three or four, Ellie needed the toilet, so I went back to Ellie & Lou's room, and picked Lou up from her cot, taking her too. From then on, we all went together whenever we knew! we wouldn't get caught. We go in the fields near our pub quite often, as we know we won't get caught there.
We've only been caught once. Me and Ellie were in the park and we didn't think anybody was about, so we took advantage of the moment. This lady saw us and said we were dirty. If ever me and my little sisters pee together outdoors, I always try to protect them from weirdos like that. I think my sisters have such a beautiful innocence, and nobody will take that away from them.
ELLIE & LITTLE LOU: You didn't know I was going to post this, so sorry if I've embarrased you. xxx.
KENDAL AND LAWN DOGS KID: You remind me very much of me and my little sisters. Keep it up, love each other, and don't let anyoune get to you.
KENDAL'S DAD: I wish I thought my parents would be as understanding as you are. It's good that you accept what Kendal and Andrew do.
Thanks to everyone for welcoming Ellie & Little Lou on this site.
Happy new year,
Nicola. It was interesting to read about your buddy dump on Christmas morning with your old friend, Hailey. Did you have a large Christmas lunch and did it produce a big output on Boxing Day? I was a bit bunged up on Christmas Day but I managed a good clearout on Boxing Day. This time of year we all tend to eat rather large quantities of rich, refined foods with predictable enough results.
rude and tattooed asked about farting on the job. When I worked in an elementary school (in maintenance) I spent some of my off-time tutoring second and third graders in reading. At the end of their school day I was in a classroom with about 40 kids, 2 teachers, and about 2 volunteers, when I felt a gas attack coming on. Normally I don't like to fart around these people and the kids, the only time I enjoyed it was in the maintenance office where I could stink out my co-workers and then they would try to get even with me. My gas on this day resulted from hot chili and beer I had eaten the night before and judging from the pre-farts, it was gonna be BAD. The silent, burning type that peels paint. I was sitting in a chair next to a mexican boy helping him read and I felt it coming on. Rumble, rumble, SSSSSSSS!!! He was unaware of it but it quickly spread, the boy jumped out of his seat as soon as he caught a whiff, and yelled something in Spanish to another kid across the! room, then they cracked up. The teacher is like: "What's going on?" the boy pointed to the door and ran to open it. Several girls were holding their noses. Other kids in the immediate vicinity evacuated the room. The teacher finally caught a whiff and then knew what was going on. No child could have done one this bad, so it hadda be me.
The maintenance man farted!!! The class was in chaos and it was almost time to go anyway so we walked the kids to their buses. I later said to the teacher: "I promise I won't come in after eating chili again." She thought it was funny.
TO ANONYMOUS: About your experience with constipation when your bout 5 yrs old, did you parents let your unlce whip you like that. I would think that would be for your parents to take care of. And you uncle to whip you like that for something you couldn't control. That's just really irritating to me. Although you did lie about you taking a dump in your pants. Still you were constipated so it should have been an exception. I can tell your unlce was mean. Anyway I bet it felt great pooping.
TO EVERYONE: Nothing new going on really. The other night I had to dump really bad so I thought I'd do it in my room and video tape it. So I set out some TP on the floor to poop on. Then I setup the camera on the floor. Then I got in the position like a mother would when having a baby, since it's the best view of my hole. Got the camera adjusted to the right view and then pressed record. I them began to push and a fat log began to slowly come out making crackly noises. It now was beginning to smell but I didn't care because I'm used to it. Then I started to fart a little. Next I moved over to the right and moved the camera to the right because I knew I wasn't done and wanted to get the next turd on tape too. I farted again and then began to push out another log, it slowly made its way out of my hole and was making crackly noises just like the last one. This log was soft, not as thick as the first one but was the same length. Then I felt done and began to wipe. It felt pretty darn good and the tape definately was the best dump i've ever recorded. I've never gotten a 2 log dump on tape before. I was really excited and watched it over and over. I'm saving it for when my cousin when he comes up from Arkansas. We like to poop together when we can. He even records his dumps too. His poop is normally soft and mushy. Last time he was at our house he snuck in a recording during the day when everyone was awake. It was a little clumpy when it started out but then got all mushy and light colored. It was cool. That's all for now.
It seems strange being home in my real home again after all this time. It has been wonderful living with Andrew, but also its been hard. The main reason was knowing when each other was going to the toilet, and not being able to follow and watch because all the olds were at home as well. Several times we settled for listening outside, and I made sure that my normally silent wees made a good noise by sitting well back on the toilet seat for Andrew to hear !
I see Dad has been here again. I'm not upset that he doesn't want to watch me, just glad that he is still fine about Andrew and I doing it together, although he would still not be happy if we blatently went together while he was in the house. But then he was so kind to us on Boxing Day evening, which he mentioned in his post, and which I'm going to talk about now.
My real Christmas poo always happens on Boxing Day. Of course, I had a poo on Christmas Day as well, and a little earlier than I would normally go. I suppose it is all my Christmas dinner pressing down on my poo that makes it want to come out early. Anyway, on Boxing Day, I usually have a really good poo which I need before lunch time. It always arrives early because I have so much to make, and we have Christmas Dinner in the afternoon rather than evening, so my food has had longer to process than normal.
LINDA: I promised I would take you with me when I went for my poo, and I could feel it coming on before mid-day. Poor Andrew, he so wanted to see this, but he was happy that I took you instead ! He thought that you might perhaps take him with you on your own in return ! He's a very cheeky boy, don't feel intimidated Linda ! Anyway, we got in the bathroom, and you pulled down your pampies and had a very satisfying gusher of a wee ! Then I took my place on the toilet, made a smallish wee and then waited for the inevitable to happen. Unfortunately, it didn't, and no matter how much encouragement you gave me ( you even left for a minute to find your cheerleaders uniform !! ), I couldn't produce a thing ! Disappointed both, we left it for later. It was around mid afternoon when I felt the next urge. Everyone was asleep including Andrew. So we snuck off together ! But the same happened as before, only this time I did manage a little piece that made a good plop sound. What! we didn't know at that point was that Andrew had woken and sneeked upstairs for a listen outside. As soon as my poo plopped, we heard him make mock crowd appreciation noises and quiet clapping. You immediately rushed out to him and gave him a hard stare for teasing ! While you were out, you left the door open a bit, and I saw him peep round and smile at me, but that was all. We're not taking risks you know ! You came back in again, and I finished up. The main action of the day though was reserved until nearly 7.00pm. At around six, I bagan to get that really uncomfy feeling, and as usual, I began to fidget. Andrew noticed straight away, and his poor face ! He knew what this meant, and he was so disappointed that he would yet again have to miss it. Unfortunately, my Dad noticed my fidgeting as well and asked if I was ok. I said I was, and decided to try and hold on for a while. By nearly seven, it was all too much, and I decided to ask Andrew if he fancied playing one of the ! Christmas games I got upstairs. He said he would like to, knowing full well that this way he would get a good listen to my poos ! But before we got up to go, my Dad said "well, seeing as these two are going to occupy themselves, how about I take the rest of us down the pub ?". My Aunty didn't think it was right. Andrew was still very poorly with a bad cold, and I wasn't that much better myself. But he managed to pursuade her by having his mobile with him so that we could phone if we wanted them, and the pub is only five minutes away anyway. Andrew's face lit up like a lighthouse. Even so, I was wondering whether Dad had done this in time or not, my poo was so urgent, and of course, Aunty had to go upstairs to get ready to go out, which took 20 minutes ! I survived, and as they left, Dad turned round and winked at us and said "don't do anything I wouldn't do !". We raced upstairs, allowing two minutes for one of them to have forgotten something, then feeling safe, we went in! to the bathroom, you too Linda, but you were to witness what turned out to be a lovely experience for both me and Andrew. As I sat down with my dress held high above my ???? as usual, Andrew did something he has never done before. He knelt down in front of me, and took hold of me round my ????. Although there was an initial shock 'cos I didn't know he was going to do this, and his hands weren't that warm either, I instantly knew what he was about, and smiled my approval. He and I have shared three sensual feelings before now, being able to see what the other is doing, being able to hear it all, and of course to smell it, which neither of us particularly like. Now Andrew wanted to feel me as I made my poos. This meant a change of tactics. I had planned not to push, and let it come out slowly for both of us to get excited about as we waited for the action. However, now he was feeling my ????, I decided I would push so he could feel as well. Linda, so as you didn't feel left o! ut, you came and knelt at the side of Andrew, and I gathered my dress into one hand and you held my free one. I shuffled forwards on the seat, deciding to try and make my wee silent as possible. Nothing happened in the first ten seconds. Because my poo was so close to emerging anyway, my wee wouldn't start, but after about ten seconds, it began to dribble out and my poo began to move of its own accord as well. I squeezed my ???? which Andrew felt straight away, and I heard him breathe in with excitement. Linda said "go to it girl, hope you have a real good 'un!". My poo immediately raced out with plenty of crackling and puffy trumps, and went plop, plop, plop straight away. I decided that it would be over too quickly if I kept up this pace so I let my breath go and relaxed. Andrew moved his hands a bit for a better feel. Then I took a steady breath, not quick, then I wouldn't cough all over Andrew and Linda ! I squeezed my ???? again, looking straight into Andrew's eyes, wh! ich lit up before me as two further poos steadily emerged and plopped into the water below. Again I relaxed, but this time, he left his hands where they were around my ????. Then I decided to make it more exciting for us all by varying how much I squeezed. I made some little squeezes and some big squeezes and some medium sized ones. Every one I made, Andrew felt, and he appreciated so much what I was doing that I watched as his eyes suddenly filled and overflowed with tears. Linda was nearly in tears herself at the tenderness of this experience, but to stop from being embarrased herself, and so she could tease Andrew about being a baby, she helped to wipe his tears away, the concentration on this job taking her mind off things. I made three further poos during all that time making it last nearly 10 minutes. Eight poos in total. I got off for us all to look. Eight smooth sausages, all laying one across the other until the last couple actually poked out the water ! I have to a! dmit that the whole experience made me cry too. This was the most fantastic Christmas poo ever. Did you enjoy this story Linda ?
Now I'll try and reply to some people here.
HOMER USA: Andrew and haven't been pooping together for years. In fact, we have both of us only begun watching poos on a regularish basis since we found this site in the summer time. However, we have watched each other go for wees for years, without the parents knowing ! My Dad only found out because he read this site !
KIM & SCOTT: I just want to say how sorry I am for my very rude question to you. When I read it afterwards on the site, I thought "that's very rude Kendal". I'm sure you have a very lovely bottom. I know Andrew seems to think so anyway ! Happy new year, love from Kendal xx
G: How was your Christmas in Scotland ? Hope you enjoyed my story about my Christmas poo ! And also hope you have a very happy new year, hugs from Kendal x
ELLIE & LITTLE LOU: I expect you have been very busy in your pub over Christmas. Have you had any chance to share some toilet experiences together, or with your brother Kev ? Do tell !! Happy new year, love Kendal xx
MIA: Thanks for your welcome back ! I'm pleased to be back with so many good friends ! Have a good new year !
PP: Thanks for your welcome back too. I'm sorry you are missing the experiences you had with your cousin. Well, I hope that you enjoy the stories about Andrew and I instead. It sounds like you have probably got some wonderful stories to tell yourself. Do let us know more about you. Are you the boy or the girl ?
NICOLE & SUZY: Andrew has just come round to see me as I'm writing to you. So rather than making his own post, he is asking me to ask some questions ( I think he's still miffed about his last post not getting on the site !! ) First, its my turn though. Loved your story about being desperate to go and having to wait for Suzy's parents to leave. Sounds a bit like my Christmas poo ! I think I'm letting the side down here. I haven't been practicing any stand up weeing at all, but I promise now I'm back home, I'll try again soon. I'm pleased you have both had such fun together. Now, Andrew wants to know more about the other wee you had together, on the toilet ( typical ! ). He wants to know what it was like watching each other on the toilet. He just loves details like that, such as what clothes you were wearing, and if you pull your panties down right over your knees etc. I have to say, I don't, I tend to leave mine right up my legs, but I do like to hold my dress right u! p above my ????, out of the way. Andrew is very pleased the way I have asked you the question. He's only getting me to do it because he isn't brave enough to ask himself !! He's grinning, and says he looks forward to your answers ! Have a happy new year. Lots of love from Kendal xxxx
KATE: Thanks for your lovely reply to me. I really enjoyed reading it. I'm glad that Phil got to see you go again. I think I would have been more embarrassed than you if I realised that he was looking at my naughty bits. But how exciting anyway ! You and I seem to share the same habit of holding our dresses / skirts high up above our ???? while we go. Andrew likes that. He thinks I look really cute ! In response to your other questions, I am younger than you, by quite a bit actually. I'm 10, but I will be 11 in only 13 days time ! However, I'm from England as well, not the USA. I live in a village in North Devon. Hope you have enjoyed having some good poos with whoever has been with you, I suspect your nice brother Matthew ! Any more occasions since you last wrote that Phil has watched ? This is really interesting to see what lengths he will now go to to ensure he sees you on other occasions. How exciting ! Happy new year to you and Matthew and Paul, and the rest ! of your family. Look forward to hearing your next news. Love from Kendal xxx
Now more messages from Andrew.
ELENA: He says he is sorry he hasn't responded to you taking him with you to the toilet. He says he thought he had died and gone to heaven ! He did make a post about it, but it didn't appear. xxx
LAVINIA: Andrew (Lawn Dogs Kid) also made a response to you asking what bits of your stories he liked in the same banned post. He says that he enjoyed the stories about you pooing in your pants when you were five at school. He thought that you probably enjoyed the warm squishy feeling until you got told off. Also, how you wandered round and round the garden doing little wees in your knickers at that party ( he would like that, typical ! ) Anyway, glad to see you back posting with us. x
LINDA: He says "no comment" about the time you lifted your night shirt and showed off your purple flowery pampies to him. He thinks his comments to you last time was why his post didn't get on. He sends a big XOXO to you as well ! Look forward to hearing from you again soon my dear friend. Don't be scared of my Dad. He's really lovely, and appreciates what a good friend you are to me. Take care, and happy new year to you and Elena and Miguel. Love you loads, Kendal xxxx
The last couple of days I have gone to the Le Mans race in Adelaide (and will spend NYE there too!). The good things about these events is that they have these portable toilet blocks, mostly gender separated but they do have a few that have both genders in the one block (not unisex). They have really thin walls so you can easily hear whats happening on the other side. So today I wandered around and also kept an eye on the ladies toilets I went past. You can usually see under the doors and if you're lucky you see a pair of feet. This really turns me on because you're basically seeing a women going to the toilet. It's just that you don't see much!
In the afternoon I was walking past a small row of single portable toilets when a pretty girl came out of one, walked over to her friend and said "Those toilets are disgusting!".
Saturday, December 30, 2000
Hello to everyone, this is my first post in quite awhile. Lynn and I celebrated our first Christmas together. We also took our first Christmas Day dump together. We have attended several family and work functions, and have both gained a few pounds this holiday season. We went to my family's for dinner on Christmas eve and had a ham dinner. We got home around ten and both decided to take a dump before opening presents. We both squatted over the toilet and sat back to back and cheek to cheek. Lynn let out a loud fart and began passing a large log from her ass. I pushed and quickly released my own large log. We grabbed each others hands and leaned forward and continued cutting farts and dumping large logs into the toilet bowl. Lynn passed three large logs and a small one and I dropped three large logs of my own. We also both peed a great deal. We grabbed a large amount of toilet paper and began wiping our asses. We soiled our hands. Lynn flushed but the toilet was blocked up. We finally plunged our shit down the toilet. We made several visits on Christmas Day before stopping at Lynn's parents for a turkey feast. We got home and laid down for awhile. We both began farting in bed, and got up and headed to the bathroom. Lynn began filling the tub and we both stripped naked. We used the face to face technique with Lynn sitting in my lap and us squeezing tightly together in a bear hug. We pushed our faces together and let loose. Our asses exploded in unison and we peed all over each other. Lynn and I dropped a couple of massive logs together that smeared the bottem of our asses and legs. Our brown and mushy logs came together out of our asses and dropped to the water as one. We flushed and continued shitting our brains out. We continued to bury our faces together as shit tumbled from our asses. This was by far the messiest shit we have taken together. We held each other in a vice like grip as we finished our assault. We kissed and rubbed our noses together and said Merrry Christmas to each other as we finished. We were both sweating and exhausted after finishing this shit. We were on the toilet for about an hour, and then wiped each other and jumped in the tub. Alan & Lynn