I just found out why my girlfriend is very shy about going to the bathroom - she only likes to go at home. Until recently, I'd never even seen her use the toilet in my presence, let alone in my apartment. Well, all that changed last Sunday. We were hanging around my apartment, drinking coffee and reading the paper. I guess the coffee was having an effect on her, because she excused herself to use the bathroom. I stayed on the couch in the living room and kept reading the paper. After about twenty minutes, I walked down the hall to see if she was o.k. I heard her flush the toilet from behind the door, but I didn't hear the usual gurgle, only the sound of the water quietly spinning around the bowl. I thought I would be daring and quietly hung out in the hallway. When the tank filled up, I heard her flush again and then once more. I could tell she was distressed because I overheard her say, "Oh no!" I don't keep a plunger in the bathroom, because the room is very small! , so she couldn't have used one if she needed. I decided to quietly walk back down the hall and sit on the couch. Eventually she came out and told me that she couldn't get the toilet to flush all the way. It's one of those late 70's one-piece models with the so-called silent flush, so all you hear is the gurgle when the water drains. I pretended to be disinterested, though the thought of my cute, curvy Ani plugging the bowl was an admitted turn on. I told her to try later and we left it at that. Well, I had to take a shower before we went out, and Ani made me promise not to look in the bowl - she would fix the problem. Well, as soon as I closed the bathroom door, I looked! What I saw blew my mind! Ani, a small-built, yet curvy Asian with a sexy smile and dimples had laid one huge, maybe foot-long turd in the bowl jammed into the trap with only a small bit of toilet paper. It wasn't that it was long - I've done much longer myself - but it was as thick as an arm, reall! y like a cucumber! With the shower running, I flushed the toilet once more and saw the repaet performance of my toilet's attempt to cope with Ani's log. It just flopped around! Sort of Shuddered a few times and made a slow, slow sweep around the bowl before resting on the trap at the bottom. I couldn't believe she could pass something like this! In fact, the toilet wasn't even clogged, but disabled. Ani's log wouldn't even fit into the hole! When I finished showering, I told Ani that I had tried to flush the toilet and had looked inside. She actually started crying, saying she was sorry, but she only goes every other day and always tries to go at home because she has so much trouble flushing her poops. I told her I wasn't at all mad at her, but I wasn't sure how to get rid of her turd. She told me she usually lets it sit for a few hours to get softer, then pushes it into the hole with a plunger! I took her advice and it worked, but it took three flushes to cram it a! ll down the trap. I sure don't envy Ani, because even though her log was impressive - I mean, you wouldn't believe such a petite girl could drop such a load! - I would sure hate to have to go through so many troubles to get it down the trap! Maybe it's her vegetarian ways, because she eats so many grains every day!
Today i worked and i got hot and my ass was itching and sweating badly so any way...I came home....After i got home i changed my clothes and i felt a crampy feeling in my stomach, like i might have to shit, i ignored it and it went away 2 minutes later. I then get online check my mail, check out some websites and i feel that same feeling i felt earlier, a cramp...but this time i was much worse. Im like im staying online as long as i can untill i really needed to shit cause i didn't feel like pushing out this one, cause i know it hurts and takes a long time to push them out. Then i make a run for it cause i couldn't hold it any more and pushed(a little) this soild load out then followed by diarrehea. Then i sat for 5 min and then i said im done and i inspected and it looked like i shitted out a ton and there was alot of undigested fruit that i had yesterday for lunch. Then i wiped like 8 times and flushed and then peeed and then flushed again and i washed my hands and got back ! online. I was back online 10-15 min and i felt that same feeling again, i held of till i felt like i had to go, i made a run for it and passed more diarrehea, not alot. Then i wiped and flushed. I Haven't been since(about 30-35min). I was thinking about taking Amodium for my diarrehea but i didn't want to cause the bottle was expired, usally i can hold off any way i usally don't have another major diarrehea attack.
To Prince Morgan: Your right about your school bathrooms, that would be the kind that most people dream about. I must tell you every once in awhile i'll dream about all these open toilets and an bunch of urinals. Your school sounds like my dreams....I haven't had one of those in a while.
To Jordan: I liked your story about your friend shitting in your apartment and he left the door open, that was cool of him to do that.
W.R.- So funny you should mention that. My buddy and I have been visiting some haunted houses for a couple weekends now. I, myself have not had the experience you are asking about, but my friend...well, I know he reads this board, so I'll let him tell you himself if he wants.
CORNWALL- Looks like I picked the wrong state university, dude. Enjoy!
JORDAN-That is truly cool! A friend who just casually poops with the door open. A true, trusting friendship there, man.
LIA-Me, too. I'd love to pee with some girls, and I'm not, in any binding sense, heterosexual.
My love to you, one and all!
Luis Bunuel Fan
To Healthy Pooper:
The Luis Bunuel movie that reverses society's norms that has a group of formally dressed guests around a table sitting on toilet bowls is "The Phantom of Laliberte". The "Exterminating Angel" dealt with a group of guests at a dinner party who were unable to leave the house because of undefined fears, and then turned on one another.
Plunging Plop Guy
I've just been catching up on all the latest postings and as I had such an enjoyable shit on my toilet today fee worthy of sharing some of the details!
Again,I've been surprised as to how what I eat seems to have little correlation to what I shit the next day but I thought I wasn't going to be able to get there in time,then when I sat there I had to push to get it started .Then,about 10 minutes of dropping medium/small sized turds that splashed my arse in different places each time!
It felt terrific as it was what I call an arsehole-filling shit that rally touches the arsecrack as it comes out.And each one seems to be followed by one just as good so that I'm sitting there thinking I'm never going to finish!I'd have loved louder and wetter plops and some appreciative company but at least I did a good one!
Great to hear from you again DAZZ.Certainly a coincidence in our "school heroes",but how I wish I had been in that fortunate situation you were in.I'd do the same as you after that;always using th same toilet that he'd used!I look forward to the other reminiscence you mentioned recently,wasit another audibe shit?I think you said someone was in the toilet with you as you had a plop.
Hi there,MARK.Great to hear from you and to know you like the same stuff as I do.I forget the reference to the 4 foot high partitions but I've seen them mentioned a few times here.That hostel you stayed at sounds brilliant!!!It is so different here in Britain.I've never found a public toilet without doors and if I had doubt if anyone would use it.I've certainly spent a lot of time and visited lots of different bogs(the slang name in Britain for toilets)and have observed a variety of different styles.Partitions made of brick,tiles,formica(often with holes in them),and doors that are conventional height,or ones that start at least a foot off the floor!Those are great and I've sometimes sat on a toilet behind a door like that!Some toilets are not at all good for listening to other guys shitting(assuming the toilet pans or bowls are deep enough for a good plop)due the presence of men who sometimes hang around in some of them for other purposes.The possibility then is that you! may be bothered by men passing notes through the hole in the wall or under the partition,or looking over it or staring at whoever comes in.Also there is a certain amount of drug taking in some of them.Who knows,perhaps the British local authorities will do what their counterparts in the USA did and remove some of the doors and partitions,but from what you and others say,the trend seems to be for the restoration of privacy(or prudery?).
I would love to know where all the good toilets are in Britain for sharing a good loud shit with others who enjoy it and not to be distracted by hand driers,flushing urinals and general noise.
Once on holiday in Wales I found a toilet with 3 cubicles and as I really needed to have a shit and it was very quiet in ther and there was one other guy in there in the cubicle at one end-it seemed the ideal opportunity to go in the middle toilet which had a 3"diameter hole in the partition,pull my jeans and pants down,sit on the toilet,and start grunting out my turds.As soon as I started I knew the other guy was interested and it was brilliant to have an audince,watching and listening to me plopping away.
When I finished,I wiped my arse so that he could see,and I actually asked if he'd enjoyed it!He replied that he had and as he didn't suggest chatting about it outside,I left,feeling really good.
I thought how great that 2 strangers should meet in a public toilet,share something as intimate as an observed shit,no physical contact took place,no laws were broken and yet we were ,I feel sure,more satisfied than the men who try to find other satisfaction in such places.
Anyway,that's all for now and hope it was of interest as I so appreciate being able to share these intimate recollections with those who like to hear about it.
Best wishes to all of you,and "mind how you go!" PPG
[dressed in a cheerleader uniform) Ready okay! [jumps in the air with the swish of pompoms] Yelp, groan, really shout.[does a split] Strain and push until it's out!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! Heh how's that for a poop cheer. [giggles] Oh and Lawn dogs kid [lifts the back of her cheerleader skirt].. see purple bloomers. Hee hee. Anyway my cousin is very proud of you, no not for teasing me and such. He said you handled the thing with your friend watching your gal go very maturely and grown up. You're a better man than him cause he'd probably be a bit bent out of shape sharing something private with a friend.. no matter how close. He said that it shows you'll grow up to be quite a man someday.. now if you can only avoid prissy colored undies. HA!! Well I'm off.. my cosuin seems to have been frightened off by what happened to him this weekend.Poor guy. World War 3? Geez, how bad did she have to go? Anyway Kendal you made me feel bad about him missing out.. why not post what happened be! hind closed doors so things will be fine again. Yeah I felt sorry for the poor guy.. that is until he teases me again. But heh he did miss me putting on my cheerleader uniform.. so I think that's punishment enough [giggles] Yeah.. you missed the whole PURPLE bloomers thing.
Hey Healthy Pooper! Are you sure about Exterminating Angel? The movie you're describing sounds more like Phantom of Liberty. I believe Exterminating Angel was about a group of people trapped in a kitchen who couldn't escape. There may have been some poop references in it, but I think Phantom of Liberty was the one where people sit around the table and relieve themselves. Do you recall if any of the people who poop are women? There is yet another movie which I've heard has an explicit female poop scene called Labyrinth of Passion. Supposedly, this one has an explicit scene where a woman's laxative starts to work and she poops her pants. Have you ever seen it?
I have a friend called Danielle, she isn't French, but her parents are continental hence her name.
This Danielle is 40 and a small but ???? woman. She also passes real whoppers when she has a motion as she only goes about 2 or 3 times a week. When I first met her when I was playing Hockey, (we are in the same team) and invited her home after our meal she asked me if the supermarket down the road from us was still likely to be open as she wanted to drive down there and pick something up. It was closed and when I told her this she looked a bit disturbed. I asked her what was wrong and she confided, blushing somewhat, that she needed a motion but that she hadnt been for a couple of days and was concerned that she might clog my toilet. I nearly wet myself with laughter at this and told her of the size of the panbusters I usually pass and to simply go ahead, do her motion and if it stuck in the pan just to leave it and I would sort it out. Danielle then went into the toilet and I did listen outside as , after she did her wee wee, she gave an NNN! UH! PLOP! KUPLONK! KAPLOO! NK! as she passed 3 hard lumps then after a pause she went UH! NNN! OH! NNN! in a sustained effort, I heard the crackling sound of a big solid jobbie coming out, then with a final AH! there was the "FLOOMP!" of a realy big one slipping into the water. She wiped her bum and pulled the flush twice then came out telling me that "yes Moira, you'll have to sort it out, one of my jobbies was so big it has stuck in the pan!" I just smiled and assured her this was no problem then, after a decent interval, I went into the toilet for a wee wee and had a good look. The 3 balls had gone but this lovely big long fat jobbie was lying in the bottom of the pan. It was as big as one of my own panbusters, 14 inches long and 2.5 inches fat, knobbly to begin with them smooth but a lot darker brown than I usually produce.It had a slight curve. It was also a lot smellier than mine or George's jobbies, no doubt her diet has something to do with this, but this doesnt bother us unduly. Needless to sa! y it wouldnt go away with another flush. I left it for George to see when he came in later and it took 2 buckets of water thrown down the pan to get it to shift. Danielle has visted us many times since and has left her big jobbies behind on many occasions and she has also seen some of mine when I have used the toilet before her and I have had an indirect buddy dump on top of her big whoppers when I have done a motion after her, and THAT load took some shifting! I havent asked her to let me accompany her or vice versa as although she is not prudish I guess she is not into shared defecation and George and I respect her wishes as we do with any visitors not into such things as we are.
Simon, George said that he likes the toilets you described at your work base, especially the absence of urinals. Lots of new and refurbished offices and factories now have identical toilets for men and women. Not usually unisex as such, unless the organisation has progessive policies as British people are still very conservative in this regard, but the actual toilets are the same , a number of cubicles with doors, handbasins, mirrors , towels or hot air driers, but NO URINALS so in appearence the male and female "restrooms" are identical. This means that the organisation occupying the building can easily determine how many toilets to allocate to either gender according to the number of men and women employed as the toilets themselves are exactly the same inside. If the gender balance changes a simple change of the sign on the door of the toilet from male to female or vice versa can cater for this.
Anne I loved your graphic description of getting your own back during the flash flood. The only similar happening to me was onc when I was a teenager I visited friends and did a big whopper. It went alway after 3 flushes or so I thought. However there was also a thunderstorm that evening and their drains were overloaded and the water backed up in the toilet pan bringing my big jobbie back into view to the great amusement of everyone concerned.
Kendal, peach and lemon coloured underpants for men are very common these days, George, who I can tell you isnt at all girly, has briefs in these colours . Like Nicola I have seen the "coral" coloured men's briefs too, in reality these are pink but the marketing people realise that most men would be unlikely to wear pink knickers. Its like the underpants many Scotsmen and boys wear under the kilt. These are actually girls cotton Gym Knickers in the regulation colours of navy blue, bottle green, ,maroon, brown, and are exactly the same Montfort, Cherub and other brands of girls school knickers but to save male machismo we refered to them in this context as "trews" although the real trews are tartan trouses worn in some Scots regiments by officers instead of the kilt. My young brother actually wore pairs of my navy blue gum knickers (briefs) when wearing a kilt and nobody thought anything strange about this. Nowadays, male and female underwear is identical in many cases,so ! if Andrew wears peach breifs, what's the worry?
Tuesday, October 24, 2000
kim and scott
hello all! this is kim I have no new posts right now but thanks ANNE THE BUSDRIVER for mentioning me in your last post. I really love your stories. they are always very interesting and insightful. really!! plus ACTIONMan I know this question was for kiki but orgasmic stools are when you push out a big log and you get an orgasm from it. I have done this a few times with my big whoppers that cant be flushed away down the toilet . well so long for now.I hope it wont be too long for the next kim and scott adventure stay tuned .LOVE YA ALL!BYEEEE
Since halloween is coming, I wondered-
Has anyone pooped or peed their pants in a haunted house?
I am very interested in female urination....
I would just love to pee with other women even though I am a hederosexual!
Anyways I have some stories to tell,
I was in a socials class and It was the last period of the day, and I really had the urge to pee! I usually hold my urine until I get home from school to use the bathroom. This was a major emergency I was ready to let it out at that moment. We were watching a movie and I was in the back row and If I would get up I would disturb all the other people in that class. There was a scene in the movie that was a waterfall, and I had to hold my legs really tightly so I wouldnt pee. I told the guy beside me that I really had to go!! He just said let it out no one will see.
So I pulled down my pants and urine just started pouring out of my vagina like a a gushing waterfall!
People heard the noise and looked back at me and everyone including the teacher saw me!
That was the most embarrassing thing in the world!
Another srory I have to tell is of a perverted teacher in my school. This girl asked if she could use the bathroom cause she really had to go and said that she would be done in 5 mins. The Teacher was like well, you should be done much quicker than that, but depends what you have to do :) and was like what are you going to be doing in there? the girl was like urinating! and the teacher said oh well that wont take long just dont wipe to hard!
That was really discusting!!!!!
Cool! I didn't know if you'd respond or not... Yes, peeing on the bed is a nice feeling! So what's so fearful of a bathroom? And why did you think someone would break in? I live in a good neighborhood so I have never worried about those things.
When you peed on the blanket, were you standing on the floor or the bed? I think it's cool that some women can pee standing up like a guy! I've also tried wetting my bed, but have never been able to do it. Usually when my parents go away for some time I try that. Drink a lot of water and don't go before I go to bed, but I always wake up before it happens and run to the bathroom on instinct. I'm too sleepy at that time to do anything else but pee in the toilet.
Also, my mom is a big fan of Thomas Kincade paintings and got a nightlite for my bathroom of one, so I don't have to turn on the light and wait for my eyes to adjuct. That's painfull at night! The only problem is the nightlite isn't bright enough to see the toilet clearly and have peed on the floor many times since I stand! My poor tile floor gets yellow and I have to clean it up before my parents notice!
About your penis position question, when I poop I usually stick it in the toilet bowl and pee first, then just take it out and rest on the seat with me. Then I sit back, relax and let the poop come out.
Also, what did you mean about Orgasmic stools? I've never heard of them!
Talk to you later,
P.S. - My parents just left for 2 weeks, so I'll probably be on almost every day until they return.
Danielle struck again!
Our French guest Danielle (cf. my post of last weekend) has once again given proof to her extraordinary capabilities in the field of excretion. Unfortunately, I was not a witness this time, but I did receive a thorough report.
There seemed to be some sort of turmoil around the staff ladies', all with people moving around, female voices babbling agitatedly an so forth. A minute later, our controller, a fortyish, conservative lady (if I had known what the racket had been about, I would never have asked HER) came into my office with some paperwork. I asked her, "What were those ladies down the corridor so excited about? It sounded like a minor revolution!" She cleared her throat, came closer, and spoke to me in a confidential whisper, "The loo broke down. It seems as if our sweet French colleague has offered our plumbing something to swallow which it could not handle." Nosey parker that I am, I acted dumb and innocent and asked what she meant by that. Again, she cleared her throat, and whispered, "We were standing in the corridor before the toilets when Margaret D. from sales came rushing out of the john, laughed, and yelled, ,The ladies' room is being flooded! Watch out for the tidal wave!' We saw! that her shoes were wet. She told us that when she had gone in to take a quiet leak, the big-butted french woman had entered the cubicle next to her with moans of desperation, and had then given vent to such forceful and numerous expulsions of intestine gas that she had decided to stay and listen. Then mademoiselle had dropped several objects into the pan which, according to the splashing sounds, must have been of a size and compactness beyond comparison. Then came a rolling sound of pee, then more savage eruptions of gas, and finally a sound which she described as ,a two-minute pop and crackle, and then a big snake slithering into the water'. After some paperwork and dress rustling, mademoiselle pulled the flush, then cried out and left the cubicle aghast. A split second later, water came rushing from under the partition, causing Margaret to take to her heels, too, but not without looking what had caused the spring tide. She told us she had cast a fleeting glance into the cu! bicle, where she had discerned the overflowing pan with water still streaming out from under the seat and running down the white porcelain. In the water filling the toilet she had seen, among wads of paper, what she called ,half a dozen black shapes the size of fists, beer cans, and tennis balls floating around, and an unbroken coil of thick brown turd the size of a conger eel coiled near the bottom, obviously blocking the exit'. When Margaret told us what had happened, mademoiselle had already escaped with a face turned crimson. We called the caretaker, who came and unblocked the loo by means of a broomstick, a plunger, and a pail. Of course, we stayed to find out if the john would be out of order. The stink which permeated the whole section of the floor was outrageous. When everything was clean and dry again, the caretaker left with a remark like, ,Some people should be allowed to shit in the street and be prohibited to use a modest civilized facility such as ours.' He carri! ed a pail heavy with what must have been a collection of ,blocking objects', modestly covered with paper on top, but visible as a dark bulk through the thin white plastic wall."
This was what our lady controller whispered to me, recollected, as it were, in tranquillity. I pretended to be put off, but I wonder if my conservative-looking colleague had realized how much her account, rendered in unexpected fullness of mundane detail, and as such coming from a person you would not normally expect to indulge in such a topic, had excited me. I also wonder if I will have a chance to bring up the topic with Danielle again before her returm to France which is scheduled in a few days.
Good pees and poops to you all,
MIDNIGHT COWBOY-I've done some acting myself. Never had a situation like your's come up, though.
Here in Pittsburgh, we had an experimental theatre called "The Laboratory". It was before my time, but I have heard they did a show once, I think written by someone local, called "Swellfoot's Tears", which was a version of "Oedipus". Apparently, at one point in the show, an actor had to poop on stage. I have been told this was not faked.
Are you familiar with the Sam Shepard play "Curse of the starving class"? In this one, an actor faces the audience and pees, again for real.
I was reading some old posts, and I read the one about you getting caught by some older kids while pooping in the woods. It reminded me of when I was in about second grade. There were a bunch of older kids, who were real assholes, that lived in my neighborhood. They had this baseball field they played in all the time. It wasn't a real fenced-in field, but a big open lot with a pitcher's mound they made. A few of us younger kids used to go to the field after dinner, when they weren't around, and poop everywhere. I used to leave humongous piles that I'd save up for days right on the pither's mound! It was a blast! If we could, we'd hang out near the field when they came to play and listen to them swear! They must have known it was us, but there wasn't too much they could do. They never caught us.
You guys would like the second floor bathroom at my school. It's awesome! Two rows of ten toilts each, facing each other. No doors! Great for buddy dumping or just sightseeing. Twenty-nine urinals, in three sections. The old kind that go all the way to the floor. I couldn't believe it when I first went in! It's the kind of poop-palace most people only dream about! I try to do my morning poop there whenever I can!
Love to all of you!
Pat, I do that. Are you male or female?
Anne (Bus Driver)
Two days now this Forum hasnt produced anything. I trust the update will be a "whopper" when it comes out. (I do know that the page is not guaranteed to update every day, but it sure is a disappointment when it doesnt).
I see that there is another Anne (The Housewife) and that she did a big load of solid jobbies after being constipated for a few days. Been there (often), done that, and like you felt a lot better afterwards.
The recent flooding due to heavy rain in parts of the UK caused some tragic events for many people, its no fun being flooded out. At our bus garage however we had an amusing event when the flooding caused the staff toilets to back up. I had done a motion about an hour before hand, a couple of lovely big fat well formed jobbies which had initially stuck in the pan. One of the other women drivers, Jayne, used this toilet after me and buddy dumped her own jobbies on top of mine, in her case an 8 inch turd and one of 6 inches. When she pulled the flush for the second time the combined load went away. About an hour later there was a really heavy downpour (and it had been raining heavily for the previous few days). There was an ominous gurgling from one of the manholes in the yard then it lifted and a load of raw sewage, toilet paper, turds etc started to come out. One of the women came running out of the toilet pulling up her knickers with her skirt still round her waist and ye! lling that, "Its all coming back up the toilet pans! When the deluge had subsided we had a look and sure enough in the pan Jayne and I had used the turds had come back no doubt they had only gone a short way down the pipes or even jammed just out of site round the hidden bend. One of the other girls said "Trust you Anne, it would be one of your huge turds that caused the flooding!" This was of course a joke but did cause a lot of light hearted teasing which I didnt mind. In a couple of the other toilet pans there were turds floating in the water. A few hours later the council brought round a gully sucker which cleared out the man hole and as the level dropped the cleaners were able to restore the toilets to a decent state.
Tony and CC (Australia) I have retrieved a jobbie from the pan with my hand, (washing it well afterwards of course). I have always had a good look at my motions before I pull the flush, ever since I was a kid, I like to see what I have passed and the colour, shape, and appearance of the stools can often give a clue to one's health etc. Occasionally I have done a medium sized jobbie, say 8 or 9 inches long, which has shot up round the hidden bend and I have used my hand to bring it back into view. Conversely, I have had to push a really big panbuster over the hidden bend when I have done one in the toilet of someone who is NOT into such matters as most of the contributers here are and to prevent offence as it wouldnt budge after 3 flushes I put my hand down and pushed it over as I flushed and it went away, leaving me some brown skidmarks on the bottom of the pan to remove with the toilet brush. You may ask why not use the brush to remove it, well, this would have made a ter! rible mess of squashed up poo in the bottom of the pan and may have caused a greater blockage. Toilet brushes are okey for removing skid marks, or if the back of the toilet is splattered with diarrhea, or to use with a toilet cleaner to remove lime scale, but to remove a big solid jobbie that wont go away either throw a bucket of water or two down the pan or use your hand, or perhaps a piece of cane or stick as Tony suggested to push it over the hidden bend. It is of course essential to wash the hands thoroughly afterwards as there are lots of bacteria in human feces, even your own, which can be harmful. Also, be careful if you have a cut or open wound on your hand as bacteria which are harmless in the gut can be dangerous in a cut. Obviously, I would NOT recommend anyone to put their hand down a strange toilet and touch a jobbie down by some unknown person unless you have rubber glove on at the time as you never know what illness they may be carrying. By the way, the Discove! ry Space Shuttle reported that they "had a problem", NOT thankfully a major Apollo 13 type incident but that the onboard toilet was blocked and one of the Astronauts had to unblock it with a rubber glove. Now I dont know if one of the Astronauts launched his very own "Booster Stage" a Space Whopper as it were, and this big jobbie stuck in their suction powered pan, or if it was simply an accumulation of toilet paper etc. I dont think there were any females on this flight but I have visions of a Kim or a Nicola or a Moira in space launching a brown ICBM!
Love to all, especially Adrian.
I was delighted to read of your first standing wee over the toilet. It reminds me a lot of my own. Yes, I first practiced in the shower, the stall wall got a regular workout for months! Then the back garden fence, as it happens, when the weather warmed up and I got bolder!
The URL you listed unfortunately would be deleated, the site policy allows no cross-links out of the page. I do know the site you were refering to, though, and recommend it highly. I emailed with the lady who runs it a number of times, we had very pleasant chats.
By the looks of it, the number of gals standing to wee is increasing all the time, and sites like this one and other great forums are probably spreading the word further and wider than would ever have been likely or practical before.
Keep practicing, keep having fun, and you'll wonder why it took so long to "stand up and be counted!" I labored under the delusion that it was physiologically impossible until only two years ago -- what a wasted lifetime of pishing fun!
Stand proud, thrust those hips forward, and make like a racehorse!
Well, this is a long ago story, but one I will never forget.
I was a freshman in the Art Department at a state university. I was enrolled in the life drawing class and so was exposed daily to models (male and female, young and old) who would model for our class. The general schedule was a two hour drawing session, followed by a fifteen to twenty minute break and then an hour or so of quick studies. Well, on this particular occassion we had finished our first session up and were having our mid-day break. I had been drinking a lot of coffee throughout the first session and so was more than ready to run to the BR and confess to the urnial for a minute or two. I stepped out first, however, to have a smoke with the cute girl from across the drawing room; this was my mistake. The smoke went fine and we even chatted a little and things were good, it waas when I reentered the building that problems started. You see, i had allowe denough time now that someone had entered the bathroom and begun to really knock off a big one. This was someone'! s shinning moment. A lot of grunting and heavy breathing and the stink, MAN THE STINK, a combination of curried vegetables and red wine would be my guess, but I never asked. Anyways, I urinated quickly and tried not to breath too much more than was neccesary to stay conscious. As I left the bathroom, I felt really bad for whomever had just gone through that shit. Anyways, a minute or so after leaving I noticed the door to the bathroom open and the victim walking out....it was the male model for the drawing session. I had to watch him disrobe and pose, knowing the whole rest of the period that he had just dropped a mess in there. To top it off, the class ended with a half -hour study for which my vantage was none other than from behind. I never checked, but I wonder sometimes what he did the the very white cloth that was his platform for the class. Man, that was a hard day.
Ben in NY
Dan- when i have an erection in the morning and i can't get it down far enough to pee sitting down, i sit on the toilet backwards. I don't know why, but it is easier that way.
Dog Faced Boy- great story! I especially like the way you described the fact that for the girl in the stall next to you, it was a small fart she won't remember, but you will forever have a memory of it. Also, I am a HUGE Phishead myself. What show was it? i probably have the tape. we should trade!
Ileo- where are you man? How is your friend?
Peace and Love,
I found this Joke on the internet today, its a funny one.......
New Restroom Policy
To All Employees:
In the past, employees have been permitted
to use the restroom without restriction.
Effective November 1, 2000, a RESTROOM
POLICY will be established. Under
employees will be given twenty (20) restroom
credits per month. These credits may be
accumulated from month to month. At the
end of the calendar year, employees will be
reimbursed for all extra credits in excess of
twenty (20) at the rate of three (3)
Within two weeks, the entrances to all
restrooms will be equipped with voice
recognition devices. Each employee must
provide two voice prints (one normal and one
under stress) to his/her supervisor by
October 31, 2000. The voice recognition
station will be operational, but
during the month of November. Beginning
December 1, 2000, if an employee's restroom
credit balance reaches zero, the doors to the
restroom will not open for that
the first day of the next month.
In addition, all restrooms will be equipped
with timed paper roll retractors. If the
restroom is occupied for more than three
minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds
after the alarm, the roll of paper
into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the
restroom door will swing open. If the
restroom remains occupied for an additional
thirty seconds, the occupant's picture
taken and posted on the employee bulletin
Any employee whose picture appears more
than three (3) times in a calendar year
subject to administrative counseling.
Last night i saw JACKASS on MTV and this one guy went to this chinese restaurant and ordered a v????e dish, they brought his food out and he pulled out a paper towel with poop on it and put it in the food and sent it back saying it was some kind of sasage, and he told the waitress to smell it. It was funny. Any one see this show?? Lots of bathroom humor on this show.
Yesterday i went to the mountains for the afternoon and i had dinner up there, the food was very rich...im not used to eating that good. So i leave the restaurant, to go home(about 90min away)...on the way home i was hitting bumps and curves and my stomach felt funny like i might have some loose shit and stuff, then i felt gassy and some gurgling and then i sorta got some urges, then i was able to hold off till i got home, as soon as i got home i had to shit, the first time it was really soft then 15 min later i had to go again and this time it was really loose. I think it was the food i ate, cause i ate some different foods and lots of v?????s.
To Pat: I've heard about what you were talking about, i think i heard that once before and i thought that i heard that sticking your finger up your anus when you have to fart is dangerous, im not sure if its or not?? Any one know???
To wren: Im a guy in Maryland too!!
Thats it, such a long post today.
I am a 20-year-old college guy and have a studio apartment off campus. Recently, I had computer problems. Another guy in my class, Rich, is a real whiz with computers and he offered to help me. He is also 20 and is a real cool dude! He came by early one Saturday morning and we worked on the problems together. Before I knew it, two hours had gone by. I offered Rich a soda, which he accepted. He also said that he needed a bathroom break. The bathroom opens off the room that we were working in. To my surprise, he went in leaving the bathroom door open. He pulled down his jeans and boxer shorts and sat on the crapper. I was still at the computer, but I could see him fully out of the corner of my eye. He then started talking to me about the computer. I therefore went to the bathroom door to continue the conversation. I heard him fart two or three times. Then he started straining. I heard the crackling sound of a log coming out of his asshole and the grimace on his f! ace suggested that it was stretching his asshole real good. This was followed by a loud plop. He then passed 4-5 more logs, but these came out fairly quickly and with less effort. There was just the faint odor of good solid turds. He kept up the conversation between passing each turd. Eventually, he gave a sigh. He reached for the toilet paper while remaining seated on the crapper. He kinda lifted his right butt cheek off the seat and wiped with his right hand. There were only 2-3 sheets left on the toilet roll. I passed him a new roll from the bathroom cabinet. He needed 5-6 wipes to get his asshole clean. He then stood up to flush. I did not see his logs since they were covered by toilet paper. After that he washed his hands and we went back to work on the computer. I thought it was real cool of him to shit with the bathroom door open and to talk to me while shitting. I see him at classes and he always asks how the computer is working out. He is one great ! guy!
Movie Guy - I am a big fan of L'AGE D'OR (THE GOLDEN AGE). I have only seen it 2 or 3 times. I have no recollection of female defecation as part of the plot. I was into female pooping and peeing years before I had seen it, so I suspect I would have picked up on it.
You may be thinking of another film directed by the same director, Luis Bunuel. It's called "The Exterminating Angel". Making fun of society's hang-ups and "rules" is a theme in many Bunuel films. In "The Exterminating Angel", Bunuel plays up society's stuffiness by reversing the norms at a dinner party. Guests sit on small camodes or bed pans defecating and urinating whilst talking to one another at a beautifully set table. They will occasionally excuse themselves, go to a small room, close the door, and modestly have something to eat. I have never seen this film, so I cannot say whether the depiction of defecation is is visually and aurally(sound) graphic or not. The synopsis is from a university level film study text book, so it can problably be trusted.
The next time I watch "L'Age D'Or", I'll keep an eye out for defecation references, and report my findings.
Much has been said on the subject of stalls and rooms, so here's what I know:
A little bit of info about the toilets at work. (The ones at base, as I work outdoors)
The HQ building is based in an industrial unit. As far as I know, it used to be occupied by an American company, before we took over the lease. There are a few "Americanisms" in the building, like US 110-volt power outlets, as well as the normal UK ones.
In the main warehouse/workshop area, there are 4 toilets. All are identical, a room 8 feet by 8 feet with a toilet, sink and waste bin.
The doors are solid, standard size room doors, very hefty and maybe even to fire-door standard!
There are paper towels, not hot-air dryers. Each has a fan, worked by the lightswitch. They also stay running a few minutes after the light is turned off.
In the office part, the toilets are smaller. The upstairs one is about 6 feet by 4 feet but has the same facilities. The downstairs one has a wider door and various adaptations to make it suitable for disabled people.
Oh, and the toilets seem to have a very efficient flush, I've never seen one bunged up, maybe just the odd skidder on the porcelain
Funnily enough, there are NO urinals in the building at all!
My high school had two buildings - the old one was built in the 1960s or maybe earlier. The new one was built in about 1980.
The toilets in the old building were in a room about 12 feet by 20 feet. Along half of one long wall were the sinks. Directly opposite these was the wall urinal - about 9 feet long porcelain wall and gutter. The remainder of the wall was taken up by the stalls. the doors went from 6 inches off the floor, to about 8 feet high. I don't think the locks worked though.
Brick walls divided each stall from the next. There was no fan.
Most of the toilets had seats, but some were missing. They were generally clean. They were the type with the overhead cistern, so some jokers used to reach over from the next stall and operate the flush while someone was dumping.
There was only one outer door, which was generally left open. Sometimes girls would nip in and take a sneak peek at boys peeing at the urinal wall, but couldn't really see anything (maybe a stream)
The new building had a couple of bathrooms. Each had three stalls, four single urinals and six (I think) sinks. The urinals had small dividers between each one.
The stalls were of laminated chipboard construction, with a gap of 6 inches from the floor all round. The cisterns were enclosed, behind the pots and didn't have as good a flush as the old ones. There would occasionally be a floater left behind as a consequrence.
The entrance had an outer door, then an inner door so it wasn't possible to see in unless both were open. The stalls were directly opposite the entrance.
I think this was built at about the same time as the old building of my high school.
There were two sets of toilets, one for the "infant" and one for the "junior" classes. They were basically similar, but the "infant" one had miniature pots.
Each had three stalls and a wall urinal, similar to the old ones in the high school.
Part way through my junior years, the toilets underwent a re-fit and the wall urinal was replaced with a stainless steel one.
I was noseying in while the work was going on (we had to share the infant bathroom during this time) and the plumbers asked me and a couple of mates to test the urinal to see if they'd got it at about the right height.
Junior school toilet funnies:
Someone had left a log on the back edge of the toilet seat one day. I dunno how, either they'd been standing, or had just sat too far back?
anyway, we were all talking about it, taking a look etc and one of the dinner ladies (do you have those in the US?) must have got fed up of hearing about it and said "Oh, let it drop will you?" which we found highly amusing!
We all used to see who could pee up the urinal wall the highest too. Usually we could get higher than we could actually reach. Sometimes people would have a poop accident by trying to put too much pressure on. One day, one of the lads angled his willy wrong and his stream ended up landing on his head. He got the pee taken out of him for that!
OK, enough for now.
NICOLA (ENGLAND): Well, I suppose I was laying it on a bit thick about the colour of Andrew's underpants. But I was only doing it to help Linda get back at him. I still think that peach ( and now lemon !! ) underpants are a bit girly for a boy !
LINDA: Absolutely ! You were with me the whole time, never left my side. It couldn't have been you ! You're not like that ! Mind you, I'm surprised that he got beat up at all. Andrew's a bit of a whizz at Karate. But then he never boasts about that, and he has only ever had to use it once to defend himself, and even then, he didn't really hurt the man. Take it from me Linda, he was really sorry by the time I finished with him ! But honestly, he doesn't mean any harm. He just can't help himself, and his sense of fun and humour is really one of the things I so love about him, except when he goes over the top with you. Believe me, although he was sorry for what he did, he still couldn't resist throwing in another tease about your freckles in the post where you were (allegedly) beating him up. Andrew's full of fun. Linda let him tease you a little bit, and just make sure you tease him back again. Your tease with him that you got to see me poo and he didn't was excellent !!! Anyway, I'm surprised that Andrew didn't know you were with me, what with all your jumping up and down, and encouragement, and waving of pom-poms being my cheerleader while I had a wonderfully good poo, especially when he was stood outside the door listening to me have it, the naughty boy !
I felt a bit silly to discover that your scary poo was scary because it was scary ( if that makes sense ! ), and had nothing to do with Friday 13th ! It sounds like you have started on that grown up thing that Chloe has been having once a month for more than a year now. I'm very happy to say that it hasn't happened to me yet. In fact, I'm more than happy to stay a little girl for the time being ! Now don't you go getting all grown up on me now that you have become a woman ! I love you just the way you are.
I cried when I read about your friend who died. I'm so sorry you had to go through such sadness. Was she our age ? Well, I am so very proud to be your friend, not to replace her, but I really hope to be as good a friend to you as she obviously was. You take very good care ! Lots of love, from Kendal xx.
ANDREW (LAWN DOGS KID): What a last story you just told ! I'm not shocked at you watching Michael. Chloe and I watch each other, so why shouldn't boys ? No, I'm shocked at Chloe for walking in on Michael without being invited, and even more shocked that she would just go to the toilet and let him watch her just like that ! I would have been so embarressed. I learned a big lesson with Alan about letting boys watch. I hardly knew him, and let him watch me, and look what happened. No, I would only let another boy watch me when I know him very well, long enough to trust him to keep the secret. Actually, I can't wait until the next time we can go to the toilet together. I hated making you sad by not letting you watch last time. But I was just looking after my friend Linda. In fact, I was probably more sad than you. As I sat there having my poo, I wished so much I hadn't banned you. But then you made it easy for me by not making a song and a dance about it, and accepting that! I had done it for good reason. I know Linda will come to realise what a lovely person you are, especially to me, no matter how many times you tease her in the future !
CHLOE: Just in case you get a chance to read this, I'm looking forward to hearing all the gory details !!
Bye bye everyone. Love from Kendal.
You're going to have to judge for yourself how your boyfriend will react.
If you've looked through some of the past messages posted here you'll find that many males are *really* aroused by the aroma left by a lady who's just taken a dump. Some guys even make a special effort to hear or catch a glimpse of a woman on the can! That said, you'll also find stories here about men that are simply disgusted with the very notion. One in particular caught my attention.
The person that posted the message reported that she accidentally had a BM during a session of anal intercourse with her partner. He was apparently so disgusted by the event that he left her not long after...
Have you ever let out a really strong fart with him nearby? Was he amused? Aroused? Displeased? Indifferent???
Unless you've got serious intestinal problems (lactose intolerance... chronic diarrhea... et cetera...), I really doubt he'll notice.
Monday, October 23, 2000
Heh..listen Lawn Dogs kid.. I didn't beat you up. I may say stuff like I will bit it wasn't me. I was in the bathroom with Kendal, playing cheerleader and giver her moral support as she did her poop.( I saw and you didn't nyah nyah.. you got what you deserved) I'm not the kind to beat up so either you had a VERY guilty conscience or an over active imagination.. or probably both. then again it could have been my two baby sisters Elisa and Hortence (twins) They both kinda look like me and well they'd do anything for their big sister.I mentioned them in a few old posts. if you don't believe me ask kendal.. she's tell you I was with her the whole time. [giggles] Don't worry okay.. if you promise to lay off the teasing.. I promise not to be so scary and mean in the future. I'll allow teasing.. but if you peek at me while I'm with kendal.. then I may forget what a cute sweet demure gal I am and REALLY beat you up. Besides if I HAD beat you up.. you wouldn't be posting right now.[win! ks] So be good. Hey the new girl on the top of the site has my hair.. well if I brush it back.. if not it hangs over my face and my cousin calls me old helmet hair. Um Kendal, no the fact that I did it on friday the 13th didn't scare me.. that fact that it hurt so much was what did. But I found out later what it was or rather a side effect of...well let's just say I started a girl thing and thank god it's over.. till next time..[frowns] Anyway.. I hope you plan to be have mister.. and Kendal.. thnaks for being my friend. I know it sounds odd me saying that.. but... a while back I lost a friend I had on this site.. she died and well I miss her.. and I wish I had had a chance to tell her all I wanted to before she passed away.
I LOVE YOU ALL
Sara T, just find a log or a rock that's deep in the woods, and nobody will see you. I was out hiking today and I tried the log method again. I had just gotten out of my car at this public parking area near where I was going to hike, and I suddenly realized that my bladder was about to EXPLODE from a 20oz coke I had been drinking. I took a quick look around and noticed some porta-johns nearby, but when I checked them out they were really DISGUSTING inside. So, I figured why not go pee in the woods instead - much cleaner!!!! Since there were so many people at the parking lot where I parked my car, I was concerned someone might see me, so I grabbed some toilet paper from the porta-john, hiked about a mile into the woods and found a tree that had fallen and was about two feet off the ground. I pulled my shorts down, climbed up on the log and sat down with my butt hanging off the back of the log, and I peed right there!! It worked really well - no chance of my shoes getting! wet because the pee hit the ground behind the log, not near my feet. You should have seen the puddle - it was HUGE, and I felt so much better afterwards!!!! Hope this helps - just find a good log or rock, and go for it.
Hey, I'm a new comer. I just found this site and found it quite amuzing I didnt think there would be a place that people come to write about there experances peeing or pooping.
well anyway I have a storie for all of you.
I remember when I was in 9th grade. About 4 years ago.
Me and my friend were cutting a class and had to go to the bathroom really bad.
Well none of the bathrooms were open and everyone that was had a hall moniter at.
Being that we were cutting we really couldnt go to one of them.
So we were in this hallway that was almost never used, and I was just about to wet myself so me and my friend just pulled down are pants squated and pissed in the corner of the hallway. Luckly no one came up and saw us.
We got away with it.
It was one of the biggest rushes I ever had in my life.
Anyone else ever do anything like that?