Hey guys! Today I had an intersting expierence. I have not gone poop for 3 days, because my last poop cleaned me out. Well, I finally got an urge to go poop around 3:30, but I was gonna save it till later cause I was busy. Well around 4:10, I got in the shower, and after just letting the warm water flow all over me ( the usually stimulates me bowels ) I got the urge to go poop. I hopped out of the shower, put some toilet paper on the floor, and assumed the squatting posisition ( like Buzzy told me ) and pushed sightly. A small pile of poop oozed outta my anus. I looked at it, and then picked up the toilet paper with the poop on it, and put it in the toilet, and wiped. Not much of a story. I really really want 2 hold in my poop, and go to the mall, and go poop in the urinal, in the back of the mall. There are 2 urinal's, and 2 stalls. I really want 2 quickly pull down my pants, and plop on the urinal (cause itz the low kind) and quickly let out my BIG LONG logs, and quickly run over to the stall and wipe, and leave. That is my new goal. I will tell you if I achieve it. I am also tryin to get myself to go poop in the public restroom. I am so afraid of doing it, but I want to try it really bad. I really really want 2 go buddy dumping with my friend, when we are at the mall. That would be so cool. I am going to just hold in my poop for the mall, and see what happens. Maybe I wll go poop in the urinal, or the public toilet, or go poop with my friend. I don't know. I will tell you guys what happens. Bye!
- KiKi: Yeah I read your posts! About your pee dilemma: If you drink a lot of liquids, expically water, yor pee will be clear. If you don't drink all that much, i will be foggy, or deep yellow, and may sting when it comes out. Don't worry, it isn't unhealty! But just drinik plenty of water for good clear pee's, plus water will help you go poop!
- Prince Morgan: What are some of your tips of going poop in a urinal, or in public for that matter! Do you ever poop on the floor in public restrooms? Tell us a really detailed story of you pooping in a urinal, if you have one! Love your posts! O yeah. Yes I did try your game. It didn't really work for me. All it did was get me a poopie butt. But I am going to try it again! Thanks for your help!
- Midnight Cowboy: I loved your story! Tell us more!
- Bryan: Yes, I did leave the cup full of poop outside, but I hid it under our camper. The rain will wash away the poop after a while! Haveyou ever done nething like I did?
Bye Bye Bye All!
When I played High School football we practiced down in a valley behind the school and the locker rooms were a pretty good ways off. One day at practice I had to shit really bad and on my way to the locker rooms I exploded into my pants! School lunch had gotten the best of me.I showered and went home.
We have some flooding here where I live, in Sussex. Fortunately for us, our house is not affected, but the lower part of the town has suffered quite badly, including sewers overflowing.
It occurred to me that the poos I did last night could be floating around somebody's house today. Yuk!
I have just discovered this site and think it's fantastic. I live in Sydney, Australia.
I gather that most people who post on this site are from the USA. I have just come back from a three week holiday in the western part of the states and was very surprised by the type of toilets there. As someone who enjoys listening to others in public toilets, I was quite disappointed. Because the water level is not far below your bum, you don't hear any plopping noises at all from the adjacent stalls. The toilets in Australia have the water level about 25-30cm below your bum, so you hear everything. Australia really must be the lucky country!!
I recently went to the athletics at the Olympic Games and had a rather unpleasant experience. It was the night when our champion, Cathy Freeman was running her final. About 20 minutes before she was due to run, I had a very pressing urge to crap. But I couldn't run the risk of missing the race, so I just determined I would have to hold on. Well, Cathy ran and won her race and I had to be careful not to get too excited.
As soon as the race was won I raced down to the toilets only to discover they were both occupied. That's right, in this massive stadium, this particular toilet block had stacks of urinals but only two stalls. Of course, there were heaps of people waiting as everyone decided to wait for the race to be complete, just like me.
Anyway, after about another ten minutes there was only one person in front of me. By this stage, I was frantic and it must have shown. When a toilet became vacant, the guy in front let me go before him because he said "I looked like I was hurting". I've never been so grateful to anyone before!! I went in and sat down and just let loose for about 30 seconds. I made a lot of noise and a hell of a bad smell. But I was too relieved to be embarrassed at all. I thanked the guy again as I left and told him that I couldn't have waited much longer!!!
During the summer, my buddies and I usually spend Saturdays and Sundays on a beach near us in Southern California. The one beach we visit regularly is great, but the restrooms are lousy. When you enter, there is a narrow area with a sink and a trough urinal. This area leads into a narrow hallway off which there are three doorless stalls alongside each other. These are separated by narrow partitions. The partitions are so narrow that when guys sit down to take a shit their knees extend beyond the partitions. In addition, guys often piss on the seatless metal toilet bowls and sometimes even shit on the seats. I guess this happens because they squat over the bowls and just have a bad aim. I therefore often piss there, but avoiding taking a dump there, if possible. One Sunday, I needed to shit real bad. I headed for the restroom and, as usual, the metal seats were covered in piss. The end bowl of the three had some shit on the seat. I selected the middle of the th! ree stalls since this appeared to be the cleanest. I pulled down my swim suit and kinda extended my butt over the bowl and leaned forward so that my head projected beyond the edge of the partition. I had not yet started to shit, when four typical blond California surfers walked in to the restroom. They were in their surfing gear. Two needed to shit. They started cussing about how filthy the toilets were. The one guy said to the other "Hey dude, this is real gross. Some guy shat on the seat." Like me they crouched over the bowls so that their heads projected beyond the partitions. It must have looked kinda strange to someone in the pissing area with our three heads sticking out from the stalls. The two guys were talking to each other across me, but ignored me. The other two surfers started to change out of their surfing gear in the narrow hallway outside the three stalls so that they had a good view of the three of us dumping our loads. There was a loud conversatio! n between the four guys. They were real foul-mouthed. Everyword was f*** this and f*** that. The guys shitting on either side of me were grunting and straining. When they farted the two guys changing held their noses closed. Because our butts were high above the bowls our turds hit the water with louder plops than usual. I heard the one shitting guy ask the other "Are you done shitting yet?" He replied "I still have a few pieces to pinch off." The other said "Me too. This is as good as it gets. I have given birth to some nice big brown wads." Eventually, all three of us seemed to finish shitting and started wiping our assholes. I took longer than they did and they came out into the hallway and started to change out of their surfing gear, while I completed wiping my crack. I did not hear them flush. As I said, this was a really gross restroom. When I walked past the first stall on my way out, I looked into the bowl. It was full of one of the surfer's logs w! ith some shitty toilet paper as well. This was not the best place to take a dump!
wizzer-thanks for responding. Again im 15 yrs old so a little younger than you. Another thing that happened to me one time was when i was riding home from pensylvania and we got in a traffic jam and i had to piss so bad. I tried everything i knew to stop the urge,holding myself, crossing my legs as tight as possible and bouncing upa and down. But i couldnt stop myself from squirting twice in a row. And thats what happened-i didnt really piss my pants like normal, i just kept squirting and squirting into them until i was soaked and didnt have to go anymore. But i was wearing black shorts so my parents didnt notice and i was too embarrased to tel them.
To Midnight Cowboy: I've gotten that same attachment you were talking about(The flaming bag of poo). I got it sometime last year after halloween. It was funny.
I liked your post about shitting in the urinals, did you even try and flush it down? do you think it would go down? What about if it is a different style urinal would shit go down??
To Prince Morgan: Im seriously thinking about taking a shit in a urinal but the bathroom has to be pretty empty possibly with a lock on the door and one that holds alot of water. You gotta try some suppositories. They give you a nice soild shit. By the way how old are you? are you my age? im 19
Well I must admit that the lady up top is ugly i guess cause she is older then the other ones.
Today i went to this craft fair and half way through i decided i needed to pee so i headed to the mens room(i've been to this place before so im familar with the bathroom/area). I come in and there are a bunch of guys at the urinal peeing and i belived that all stalls were ocupied so i took the 2nd to last urinal and someone came in next to me and i saw his ***** i've never seen this happen in a bathroom, i guess this guy wasn't shy and he wasn't close up. Well any way i didn't have to pee all that badly so i had a bit of trouble starting but i did get started. I think im pee shy when there are lots of guys around me because im worried that someone will see my ***** as im smaller then most guys.
Oh my god that woman in the picture has no TP To wipe with. I wonder how she wiped? I just noticed that.
durring the past few days, i have had about half a dozen sudden urges to pee, stronger than ever before. 5 of these ended up in major wetting accidents, humiliating to me, and everyone around me. I would like to know if any one else has experienced this, why its happining, and what i can do to controll it.
Wets a lot
De France à Nouvelle York
Aujourd'hui j'avée un shit a la toilette.
This means "today I had a shit in the toilet"
Bonjour je commences parler le francais et il est bien:)
I live in a very high class neighborhood outside New York. At my school (I'm in 9th grade) (Je suis en 9em lève) there are two toilets and three urinals in every bathroom. And no one freakin' remembers to freakin' flush! Anyway, I never use the crappers at my school and whenever I go to the bathroom, I piss and I'm out. But not today. (maybe because it's Friday the Thirteenth "Vendredi le 13em")
Hey I was just wondering what would happen if you burned human faeces.
Does anyone know?
A movie starring Richard Gere premieres this weekend in the US. It's called "Dr. T and the Women." I haven't seen it, but I read a review of it and it said it's about a gynecologist who loves his work and loves his patients. It also said, "...contains graphic bodily functions." I wonder what that means?
Thom -- Great to hear from you again. Like you, I have been reading regularly but haven't had anything interesting to post. I still have to use the dulcolax suppositories in order to poop most of the time because of chronic constipation caused by colon inertia and megacolon. Since dulcolax is a stimulant laxative which does cause some cramping and discomfort, I only use them every three days or so. I insert one up me first thing in the morning while I lie on my left side on the bed. I get up, shave, shower and head to the kitchen for a big cup of black coffee. About the time that I am halfway through the mug of coffee, the suppository produces an urgency to move my bowels. I usually hold it a few more minutes until the cramping starts to get uncomfortable, then head for the toilet with a magazine. In all, I hold the suppository inside of me for 25-35 minutes. I usually sit on the toilet for 15 or 20 minutes and strain and grunt to push everything out of me. There is usually a ! lot of poop and it takes a while to get everything out. I usually only go once, but sometimes the dulcolax kicks in again later in the morning and I have to make a run for the nearest toilet and unload again. I know you prefer glycerin suppositories. I would use them too if I could get them to work. How often do you have to use them? Have you done any suppository buddy dumps lately?
Bryian -- I enjoyed your post about using the suppository. I started using them in college when I was about your age. I will try to answer some of your questions. I don't think a suppository completely empties most people out. The glycerin ones primarily empty the rectum because they are so mild. They are the best kind to use if they work for you. I have never had a glycerin suppository give me loose bowels, although the glycerin has a lubricating effect. The stools they produce are usually pretty solid. The dulcolax suppositories contain bisacodyl, a stimulant laxative. They produce peristalsis in the lower half of the colon. That's why they burn a little bit and cause cramping. They can also cause mild nausea, but they do work. They will empty the rectum, sigmoid colon and descending colon. They do sometimes cause loose bowels, but only for a few minutes while they work. After about 20 minutes, you are fine and can resume your normal daily activities. The suppositories g! enerally don't melt completely unless you hold them a long time -- something that is hard to do if you have to poop really bad. Sometimes I see an unmelted fragment of the suppository in my dump. Other times I can't find it. What kind of suppository did you use? How often do you use them? Are you constipated a lot? If so, you may want to modify your eating habits to include more fiber and water. If the problem persists, it may be a good idea to see a docotr about it. Sometimes, a suppository isn't enough and you may need to resort to an enema. Thom mentions that he uses them and I have had to resort to one on occasion over the past several years. They are incredibly effective in cleaning you out. My last one was about a year ago. A friend gave it to me and then kept me company while I spent 45 minutes on the toilet straining out the two quarts of water that had gone up my colon. He kept encouraging me to push and poop, even though I was getting very tired and my ???? hurt. Ev! erything finally worked its way out and my bowels were completely empty. What a great feeling! Have you ever tried an enema?
KIKI - I read your post. For most of the time my pee
does not look cloudy, but sometimes my boyfriend's
can look cloudier.
LILI AND PV - I do not remember ever using a stall like
that, but I did enjoy the story. I too once stepped
right out of my swimsuit when using a stall, and it
felt quite daring really. I had a hovering wee then.
I think that was when I was about 19. Can not remember
if I have done that since then. May be I have.
May be it *would* be nice to see a guy picture on
the page. Must be young and nice looking!
PV - Hi! What you wrote about your local nude beach was
very interesting. Well I have not ever been to any nude
beach in England so I do not know about if anybody much
does the latrine thing on them, but people have written
here to tell us about Studland beach. I do not know much
about any other place. It may be that your local
residents were a bit envious of the "mating ground" bit.
The only nude beaches I have been to are the Spanish
ones and like I said, some people would wee there but
of course because it was a family sort of environemnt,
any time for men and women getting a bit close was rare.
I have not seen children as old as 6 or seven going
without anything on, but that seems to just be the real
younger ones up to about 4. It may be that Aussieland is
a bit different to the Brits that way. Yeah, I've
sneaked a stand up wee with my bikini knickers pulled to
the side with Steve hiding me but I do not think there is
much like that going on on English beaches.
I do not understand why that Spanish woman you mentioned
made her daughters keep their swimsuits on. Well not
unless they wanted to.
Yeah, that family last year in Spain had a brother with
them but they were ok about it, and so was he. He did
not seem to be surprised to see his older sisters having
a wee. So yeah, it can be done but as a mum you must be
careful. Steve said it is just that most just hide from
it because it is the easy way out for them. I think he is
right about that.
Hehe I hope your shits do not become tooooo loose or you
will not make it to the beaches!
My puddle wee in the rain was not one of my best, just
that I needed to do it. No, we did not have a bath when
we got home, but we did have a shower together because
it was a bit late by then. Steve had a wee while we were
in the shower but I was empty then because I had just
let go in my knickers a few minutes before.
Yeah, the bending helps when you are having a crap.
Standing up to do it is hard, real hard when you are
doing little pieces. So yeah, I need to bend over or squat
or I may not be able to push it out. I never really
thought too much about it, it just feels natural to bend
and push, but yeah the abdomen must be compressed quite
a bit by the bending.
Yeah, the sunscreen is a must even in Europe. I can see
this image of a redhead with a coloured nose. Hehe.
I have had no luck yet going to the toilet at the same
time as my Spanish looking friend. She has always beaten
me there. Yesterday I went in just as she was coming out.
I know you hope to be able to stand with the door open
when others are about. When you do that you know you will
have really cracked your avoidant problem!
My Indian friend was in the toilet today and went in at
the same time as me. Now I checked under the door gap when
I was over by the sinks and I saw her toes facing me,
and I think she was hovering, so I think that answers that
one. I went into my own stall and had a hovering wee as
well. She sounded like she was peeing like mad, but I bet
that she is shy enough not to even let her husband see her
Well Steve will be standing outside the bath, not in it
when I pee while he carries me. He has great balance but
he kindof shook his head slowly when I said he should be
standing in the water. Maybe I *was* being a bit silly!
Maybe we will do it tonight if we get enough time.
I will tell you about it!
Hehe I will await the packaged weather.
Steve says hello to you too. He knows he has to write
about when my friend Jackie came swimming with us, so I
hope he will be able to do that on Monday. I know I can
not push him to do it because he is a bit tired just now.
Someone asked if any of us had ever shit ourselves with fear? Well...
About 5 years ago my family and I were on a boeing 757 in Cyprus, bound for London after a weeks holiday. We had jsut taken off and were acending when an almighty bang shook the plane . My Dad just looked up and asked "What was that?". I paniced, like I'd never done before. The engines was on fire and we were loosing hight rapidly. The captain ordered us all to put our life jackets on and prepare for a crash landing in the sea. Everyone else on the plane jsut assumed we wreere done for and quite rightly so! They were screaming and crying. I was sat ridged and a very pale shade of white, or so my Mam said! The plan turned back tot he airport but the sea was was hurtling up to claim us and the other engine was making some horrendus noises. The sea turned to concrete and we slammed back onto the runway. we dis-embarked, people we're hysterical, fainting, kissing the ground. They say a good landing is one you can walk away from. A good landing is one that you can walk away fr! om with clean pants(And still be able to fly the plane again). I hadn't done the full works , but I'd managed to have dihharea, not so severaly that any noticed, but I think we were all above embarresment after our ordeal. I bet I wasn't the only one though! We went back by boat. I left my pants in the airport toilet. F??k 'em, they shoul make their planes safer!
Lawn Dogs Kid
Isn't it wonderful how often the picture gallery is being updated now !
Well, I think its been my lucky evening this evening. Firstly, my little princess ( Kendal ) was waiting for me outside my house when I got back from school today. She had come to see me because she was wondering whether we would be able to spend some quality time alone together this weekend, given that Kirsty's Mum has invited Chloe to go and stay with them for the weekend, leaving both Kendal and myself footloose and fancy free ! My Mum and Dad are going out for the day tomorrow ( Saturday ) so we decided that should be our day together, depending on what Kendal's Mum says anyway.
But apart from wanting to arrange what we will be doing together this weekend, she had also come to see me to share her tea-time poo with me ! Still in her school uniform of green sweatshirt and dark blue skirt, she led me upstairs to our bathroom. Then she quickly lifted the skirt and pulled down her panties before settling down on the toilet seat. Those who may have read my posts before know how Kendal always holds her dresses high above her ???? while she goes. But of course, this doesn't work so easily when she is wearing a skirt, and she did look funny sitting there with the skirt attached to her ???? via its waistband, but somehow turned inside out with her efforts in keeping it lifted up while she went !
Kendal has also become quite animated and vocal while she has her poo, something that seems to have happened ever since she became friends with LINDA ( How are you doing LINDA, hope you're keeping well and life is happy for you ! ). So, with this poo, I was treated to a series of exciting pre-poo grunts, and a gloriously relieved "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" as the three pieces she made plopped into the water. Dear Kendal, she was very proud of the noise they made ! Ever since she decided that she liked being watched having a poo, she is dead proud of any ocasion where she can muster a good solid plop sound. I'm afraid she's afflicted in the same way as me most of the time, where although our poos are reasonably well formed, they are often fairly soft, and tend to slip or flop into the water rather than plop !
This is the first time I've been able to watch my precious little cousin go for some time now, and it was wonderful to share this experience with her once again. She made me promise that seeing as we are going to be together all day tomorrow, that I would try and hold on to my breakfast poo until after she arrives so I can pay her the same compliment ! I really hope I can last out, as my morning poos are often quite urgent soon after breakfast !
Anyway, I kissed her goodbye as she left the house and hadn't been on my own for more than 10 minutes when Chloe arrived. Her Mum had said she could come and spend a couple of hours with me tonight seeing as we wouldn't be seeing each other over the rest of the weekend for the second weekend in a row ! I just don't know how I'm surviving ! As soon as Chloe had set foot inside the house, she too announced she needed the toilet " for a number two ", she whispered in my ear, and then grinned at me. Talk about good luck. Firstly Kendal, and now Chloe, and she too hadn't bothered to change out of her school clothes. However, Chloe already knew what Kendal had done for me because they had bumped into each other on the way, and Kendal had filled her in completely.
The Chloe toilet experience is always so very different to Kendal. For a start she doesn't have a phobia about her skirt getting wet while she is sat down. So her skirt is left completely alone, bunched up above her bottom and her hips, with the front of it pulled together, and sitting on top of her legs. She also has this habit of remaining to hold onto her panties after she has pulled them down, with both her hands. Chloe also gets this intense concentrated look on her face the whole time she is going, and her expression hardly changes, no matter what sound her poos are making. And believe me, her poos definitely sound ! The very first time I saw her poo was before we were going out together, and although it did plop that time, it was nothing like the experiences I have had with her since. Chloes poos are always well formed and solid, and they sound like the toilet is being bombed ! She made four for me today. The first and the last were quite mediocre plops, but the mi! ddle two were absolute stormers, bum-splashers the both of them !
Finally, I discovered that Chloe had not had this poo at lunch time, her normal time, because firstly it wasn't urgent then, and secondly, Kirsty had accompanied her into the cubicle. It seems this is now becoming normal for them both, despite Kirsty not wanting to let Chloe see her go in return. If Kirsty needs to go as well, then she goes into a seperate cubicle from Chloe right from the word go, and Chloe then feels free to have her poo. But she has seen Kirsty's expression when Kendal had a good poo in front of the two of them last weekend. She's not too keen on that it appears ! I told Chloe that it seems to me that Kirsty will have to learn to take the rough with the smooth ! However, Chloe explained further how Kirsty told her that while she stays with her this weekend, she might pluck up the courage to go in front of Chloe for the first time. Chloe is so excited about this ! I really hope she isn't building her hopes up too much.
LINDA: Kendal says hi and sends her love, and hopes that you will have time to reply to her soon.
If I do manage to hold onto my morning poo for her, Kendal says she wants to post that story ! So I'll speak to you all again next time I've something exciting to say ( exciting to me anyway ! )
P.S KIMBERLEY, as in KIMBERLEY and SCOTT. I've been reading back through the archives and have really been enjoying your stories. You seem to have started out as "SEXY AND STACKED KIMBERLEY" in April time. The post caught my eye in more ways than one, but mostly because you said you were my age, 15. However, by your post of the 4th October, you are now in your early 20s ! Given the wonderful sexy references that the moderator allows you to make in your posts, I think the latter age is probably what you are really. But given that you and I began as the same age, I hope I don't catch whatever you've got that ages you one year every month ! I like being 15 at the moment !
WOW! Love the new girl on the pan, especially as she has her panties down at her ankles and I love her happy smile. She looks as if she is really doing a nice big easy jobbie and enjoying the sensation as it slowly slides out of her back passage. Interesting that she has her panties down at her ankles. This is okey at home or in a clean toilet but most women I know have their panties either at the top of their thighs, for modesty reasons in case someone walsk in on them when they are doing a wee wee or a jobbie, or down at their knees, as Theresa does. One of the reasons I suppose is that the floors of many school and public toilets can be wet and dirty and the panties could then get soiled. BTW I dont know if the prteyy girl on the toilet has noticed but there is no toilet paper on the holder so when she has finished she will have a damp gusset and a skid mark in those lovely panties.
Now on two tone jobbies. Dont let this bother you, Ive done these from time to time and so has Theresa. She did one this morning before going to work, a single, long fat carrot shape which started out dark brown for the frist 7 inches or so and very lumpy then changed colour to a light khaki brown for the final 6 inches and which made a lovely "KUR-SPOOL-LOOMP!" when it dropped into the pan, with me rubbing her little plump ???? and encouraging her to "do a nice big one for Tony!" Now on Tuesday we had steak for dinner, but yesterday outr meal was a pasta carbonara and she had eaten chicken sandwiches for lunch so I imagine this was why her big jobbie was two tone, the darker food making the darker stool etc. We both tend to note any such colour effects etc in our stools, and the presence of objects which pass through without being digested, Obviously sweetcorn, (you one rent it!) but also more interesting objects, such as a piece of chewing-gum she had swallowed once whi! ch was embedded in the side of one of her big jobbies.
Saturday, October 14, 2000
hi im kev 24yr male who just luvs watching girls take nice shits.
I want to share a little unique poop experience with all of you. My name is John and I usually poop every 2 or 3 days. WELL, 1 day I was over at a neighbour's house, and I was sitting there talking with her at her kitchen table, which is right next to her bathroom. We had sat around talking for about an hour, when all of a sudden, I felt the need to poop really bad, since I had not pooped for a few days. So, I said to her "I have to go to the bathroom. Can I use yours?" She said "sure". I said "excuse me for a minute. I'll be right back." I have never pooped at a friend's house ever before. So this was really awkward for me. Since her bathroom is right next to her kitchen, someone sitting at the kitchen table can hear everything that is going on in the bathroom quite clearly. The strangest part, is that she has a rattly old toilet paper holder, that really makes a lot of noise when you use it. So, with her still seated at the kitchen table, I go in there to poop. I know she co! uld hear me pulling down my pants..because I know my bell buckle rattles when I pull down my pants. So, I pull down my pants and sit my bare butt on the toilet..........I had to poop so bad that I didn't want to even push at all, because I didn't want her to hear the sound of it coming out. So, all I could just do is sit , sit , and sit more on the toilet.........Ilike to be discreet when I poop....but since I was in there so long, she knew I was pooping.. It was kinda awkward feeling for me. So, I sat on the toilet for about 10 minutes, and pooped out a lot. So, after I felt like I couldn't poop anymore, I started to wipe my butt, but I really dreaded it because with that rattly old toilet paper holder, I knew she could hear it, which meant that she knew I was wiping my butt.....I felt very embarrassed........PLUS, to make matters worse, it was a really soft poop and it made quite a mess of my butt.....So I had to wipe about 5 or 6 times.......BUT, when I was done, I flushed ! my poop down the toilet, washed my hands, got rid of the smell with the air freshening spray, and came out. She said "Feel better?". I said "much better" She said "I'm glad". End of Story
I'm checking in again...not that most of you would notice.
What's with the clarity of pee? Sometimes mine is cloudy, other times it's clear. It drives me nuts. I want straight, clear pee. No additives, please.
URINALS: Although it may be difficult to obtain, some schools have urinal-like water fountains. The school I attended did. No one would drink out of them. Rumor had it that the janitors would pee in them at night while fixing up the school.
On habits...when I was little, I used to sit on the "pot" and read my kiddie dictionary. I loved to look up words that denote punishment (whip, spnak, etc.) and make my voice sound funny (like a robotic vocal chord).
Oh yeah...does anyone actually read my posts?
HAVE A SHITTY HALLOWEEN!
I just got the most thoughtful e-mail attachment from somebody who really knows and cares about me. It was called "Flaming Bag of Poo." It was a cartoon of some trick-or-treaters playing that venerable prank of setting a bag of poo on fire, leaving it on someone's door step, ringing the bell and running. Then the cartoon switched to a close-up of the poo bag on fire with a face, hands and legs running around screaming. The object of this little game was to take this giant cartoon foot that answered the door and try to stomp on the flaming bag of poo. When I finally did it (which took a while), the poo splattered all over my computer screen, complete with tiny pieces of undigested candy corn. As it dripped down, it spelt out a message.
TO: PUSH UP MY POOP
You had asked if anybody else had experience pooping in urinals. I haven't done it in a long, long time, but when I was in college in Buffalo, NY I did it a few times. There was a park across the street from the college campus. One day when I was there I felt a big shit coming on that I knew was not going to wait very much longer. I found a park bathroom, and like many park bathrooms everywhere, it was a filthy excrement-filled pig-stye. There was no toilet paper, no doors on the stalls, shit smeared on some of the toilet seats, while other toilet seats were covered in piss. In one corner of the restroom was a pile of vomit and there was even a baby's used diaper laying on the floor. It was like people had purposely tried to defile this place with their waste and the city park department just gave up on it.
Well I had to go bad and I wasn't about to wipe some other guy's shit off a toilet seat with a newspaper (if I could find one). So I started to squat over a toilet and was about to drop my turds while standing up. Then a thought occurred to me. Hey, if this is how the city was going to treat the poor people who genuinely had to answer nature's call, I was going to get my revenge. So I went over to one of the urinals, squatted over that and blew out a pile of mushy logs into the urinal. Since there was no toilet paper, I took off my pants and shorts and wiped my hole with my shorts and left those on the floor next to the diaper. As I was leaving, another man came in and went up to use a urinal, saw my poo, and exclaimed, "Holy shit!" I thought that was a very appropriate response. I went back to that park restroom several more times that semester and each time it was just as filthy. So whenever I could, I gave my contribution by shitting in a urinal. I had to make! sure I could shoot it out really quickly when I did, because I had no idea what would've happened if someone had caught me. I did sometimes wonder what the janitor was thinking when he finally made his once a month trip to clean that restroom. And how did he clean it out? With a pooper-scooper?
Speaking of movie/toilet scenes... Wasn't it one of the Lethal Weapon series of movies where Mel Gibson is this cop living on the edge of insanity. But his poor parner gets stuck sitting on the throne in his home with a bomb that'll go off if he should stand up. He sits there for hours while the LAPD Bomb Squad hovers about him, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, with his pants still down, he and Mel dive into the bathtub as the explosion blows the roof off the house. Wonder if any turds went flying?