I just escaped a potentially major embarrassment! About an hour ago I came out of an excruciating meeting at work. The meeting was about an hour long and 10 minutes into it I felt the need to poo or fart or something. I felt really bloated. I decided I wasn't going to excuse myself unless someone else did so I figured I could hold on. Every now and then I would release a small, silent fart to ease the pressure. I could smell them but there was no reaction, thank goodness. 45 minutes into the meeting I'm still trying to fart silently then one comes out with a little squeaking sound. Happily nobody heard or appeared to hear. One of these silent farts came out as a little bit of poo but once I realized it wasn't a fart I held the small amount of poo back with my muscles. As soon as the meeting ended I made my quick exit down the hall to the ladies room. I farted with every step I took and thought I was going to poo in the hallway - it's summer and I don't wear panties! I got into the ladies room and hiked my skirt up before I got to the stall much to the surprise of the woman putting on her makeup. I ran to the center stall and had no time to close the door. I sat on the toilet and immediately let out a rip-roaring fart followed by a rapid stream of soft, gassy small poos going "ploplippliplop" into the bowl. As the soft poo was coming out, I was farting all the time - lots of "ptthh" kinds and loud ones. The smell was bad. It was such a relief. While I was still pooing, the woman looked around and asked if I felt better. I replied I did. The woman left the ladies room and I continued farting and pooing for several minutes before everything stopped!

Several posters have been trying to think of films or TV shows which have shown people using toilets. I remember when I was in England about 6 or 7 years ago I watched this gritty, realistic "kitchen sink" drama / TV movie about this single mother and her out-of-control kids. Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, at one point, when the mother has had enough of her kids' rowdiness, she takes a magazine and heads for the bathroom. We see her go into the bathroom, close the door and sit on the toilet. It's all shot from the waist up. Here comes the good bit - everything is silent and the woman is flipping through a magazine and then suddenly we hear her pooing!! I swear...genuine plops, splashes and ker-splonks! Then one of her kids bangs on the door and she shouts "go away...mums's 'aving a poo!" Then she gets up, flushes and leaves. The next day it created a bit of a furor in the UK press. The actress admitted that she really was pooing in front of the camera and it wasn't sound effects. The director wanted to have the poo scene for realism. Then there was a documentary series shown in the UK and the States called "Pole To Pole" in which Monty Python's Michael Palin ends up in the Antarctic. At one point we see him perched sitting and pooing on an outdoor toilet made from blocks of ice and snow. We don't see him that close but he makes some remark about "when nature calls..." I'll try and think of some more.

I was driving around the other day and had to take a wicked leak. I had drunk a lot of beer the previous evening and had coffee that morning and I can hold a LOT of piss, so there must have been at least a half gallon in my bladder. Instead of finding a restroom, I pulled into the back parking lot of a restaurant, parked, opened the door, stood up, pulled out my weenie and let er rip! I pushed hard and the piss flew out like a garden hose. I was partially hidden by the open car door, but a woman in her car pulled out of another driveway about 25 yards away. She would not have been able to see my weenie, but no doubt she saw the flood on the concrete. I finished after several minutes and there was a huge, travelling puddle in the parking lot as I pulled away. Much more fun than using some restroom.

Gee it really that bad if you don't poop with 24 hours or so? I mean me..I can for from 4 to almost a wekk with no pooping. I'm not saying that's good..cause it's me..I'm the one who has to sit ont he potty and try to move that monster. But geez..that's reall nothing..or maybe I'm missing something. Anyway..hey nice to hear someone else reads Pokemon on the potty. I do..and it drives my cousin crazy cause I take all cool comics and read them in there..then he jokes Gee I can't find my Sailor Moon Super s wait better check the bathroom. Heh anyway, I took his Pokemon Handbook to the potty cause i felt a need to go poo BAD!! And to that person who said that any person can hold a poop. Yes it is possible but for those of us who go days with poop building up inside and we just ate..our ????s try to make room and well they force it out weather we like it or please have a litle heart for those of us you have to go...yeah we do make it worse sometimes by holding it till the need gets bad but still be nice. Anyway.. I ran to the potty pulled down my Pokemon undies (Yeah i have 3 pairs and I've come close to ruining them many times as I did write down one time way back) And I opened up the book and started reading.I sat there and peed.. nothing big just normal pee..I never hold THAt long if I can. Then After the last few dropps had stopped and I had started on Bulbasuar..the poop started kncoking. I just let it come out. It poked out and I paid it no mind as it stopped for a while then started again. It slowly came out opening my poor tushie kind hurt but I was okay.I was at Charamander when the poop stopped for a bit and broke off and went PLOP!! I kept reading as it started again making the normal crackle with each inch that came out..finally when i reached Raichu..KURPLUNK!!! That was much better. AFter that I satyed a bit to read more and sometimes a tiny bit of poop came out. it's not so bad to poop when you have something to take your mind off of it and are relaxed. Heh My cousins came into his room and saw me with the book sitting there and said. Oh so that's where the 2 of you are. Okay. Then he closed the door for me and went onlinein his computer. He didn't have to close the door..the show was already over. hee hee. Well i'm off.. I do seem to be getting better and more relaxed about pooping. As you knoe JW I hated pooping..and still do a bit..but I'm getting better. Hope you finally poop Kyle and I hope JW that you are fine too.Oh and to Mike yes I have seen those toilets in Japan. Poor girls have to squat to pee. The toilet has sort of a round splash gaurd thing in the front to keep from well you know.My cousins is crazy about Japan and knows lots of stuff about it. He showed one to me and I screeamed and giggled. I though a girl would have to be crazy to use one. hee hee till i did when I went with him on vacation to Osaka..or I think that was the place..I think i spel! led it wrong. Anyway i peed in it.. I did use it..but I would NEVER want to poop in one. Geez!!! Linda

Hey folks! This site seems to be growing by leaps and bounds...or is that "leaks and bowels"?! Anyway, almost too many posts to read in one "sitting", don't wanna go there....tee hee! Couple quickies: Written over a urinal at the hallowed Tanglewood Music Center (summer home of the Boston Symphony) in Lenox, MA: HERE'S WHERE LIZST PIZST...and MIZST! Regarding women who want to perfect the art of "standing to pee"...I would ask the webmaster to allow, in this special instance, reference to a very public, open and topic-specific site. The site is If this doesn't pass muster, just know that "restrooms" is the middle term of the address...and I'm sure you can fill in the rest of it by trial and error! The site is moderated by an's a serious support-oriented site (not a porn site)...and it's VERY enjoyable and instructive. Great discussions! Check it out. Hugh: Your pooch-and-book tale gives new life to the lame old expression: "The dog ate my homework!!!" Somebody once told me that a dog who eats poop may be trying to recover certain excreted vitamins or minerals which are lacking in his available diet. It's an instinctive thing. A lot of people are sickened by the thought of eating sushi who's to second-guess canine taste buds! One thing I CAN tell you is that, even among humans, and especially among devout Hindus following certain yogic or ayurvedic diets, drinking pee is an ABSOLUTELY normal and acceptable practice. Pee is isotonic (sterile) under normal circumstances, so our Western "yuck" factor is largely misplaced. But I'll return to that whole phenomenon some other time for a fuller treatment. I've actually tried many samples from many folks, over a period of some 20 years. I've learned a whole lot. Film at eleven! Cheers, Aster.

Hello out there, everyone,sorry to so abruptly seem to disappear but I had an accident that landed me in the hospital.I went sailing with my boyfriend(wookiee) and while swimming,i was stung by something that litterally made me swell and my foot blow up almost twice it's normal size,at thats what they tell me.I was pretty feverish and really out of it.The coast guard thought it might be a portuguese man-o-war or a puffer fish,and so our trip was scrubbed everyone was very nice at the hospital and told me how lucky i was that my respiratory system was strong an unaffected,I rested but when after three days I hadn't had a bowellmovement,the doctor told my nurse that I was going to need one,she told me she would do it herself,we had got to be friendly and as she attented me,well it was what you might expect but she was very gentle inserting the tube thing,but it took two cleansings and I'm glad of the invention of air-conditioning because of my gassy smell was embarassing.Well I'! m glad to be here,my family and wookiee have been just great,love and see you.

Rob, Man, you got a great job! There is however, a trend out there that I'm noticing here in the Eastern States. That is, more office building management companies are hiring more female cleaning workers to work during office hrs. One of their jobs is to, of course, go into the bathrooms and clean and unclog toilets. With the raise of complaints by women on the job of harassment, these companies figure it is safer to have a lady go into the woman's room than a man. But, there is a hitch. These cleaning ladies are also going into the men's rooms as well, as is the case at the office where I work. Even if a man walks into the ladie's room, the lady using the toilet still has privacy in that she has a stall with a closed door (RE: Anthony's post). If a lady comes into the men's room, she catches the guy standing at the urinal, pravate parts hangin' down, exposed and all! Oh well, as long as she's a cute cleaning lady, I can deal with it.

JW Cute Linda- Thanks for your comments. I'd be glad to tell you about pooping in my potty chair. This happened when I was about four and I remember it mostly because it turned out to be one of the most difficult poops I ever had. We'd gone to vist my Aunt overnight and I remember having to poop while I was there. My Aunt had a toilet seat the went on the big toilet with straps that held it on. Auntie put me on it and thankfully left me alone, I don't know what the problem was, excitment or strange bathroom, or what but I couldn't go. I really did push and struggle because it wanted to come out but nothing would happen. Finally my Mom came and asked if I was done. I told here I couldn't go. I remember her saying "that's not good, we'll have to do something about that when we get home".

We got home that night, and as soon as we got in the door Mom told my Dad she tought I should have an enema. Dad told her to wait till after supper and see if I could go then. After supper Dad told me to go sit on my potty chair and try and go. Mom told him I probably wouldn't be able to go and that she was going to get the enema ready.

I didn't feel a whole lot like I needed to go, but I sure didn't want one of my Mother's enemas either. So I went to my hidy place behind the chimmeny, I was just in underpants because Mom and already taken my pants off. I remember for some reason I wanted them off too. I stepped out of them and was naked from the waist down. I moved the potty chair over really close to the pipes and sat so my knees were on each side of the pipes, see they ran up and down the same way as the chimmeny. Then I grabbed onto them at just about level with my knees, and I began to bear down. Now my Mom made a big point of teaching me HOW to bear down while she was sitting with me in the bathroom watching before my Dad but the potty chair behind the chimmeny. I was taught to take as deep a breath as I could, hold it, and then make my ???? push itself into my bottom. I was supposed to do this for as long as I could hold my breath. The only variation on this was that I could pull on something if I wanted to. When Mom was having me go in the bathroom I pulled on the potty seat itself, but back there I pulled on the pipes.

So I started doing what my Mom had tought me. I took a deep breath and pushed with all I coulld give it. The first few times didn't do much but knowing I'd get an enema if I didn't go kept me at it. Well after about five good pushes it started to feel like I had to go. Mind you nothing had come out yet, but my bottom felt full and I began to get that "I really do gotta go" feeling. I'd learned a few things on my own about pushing by then, I liked to get up on tip toes and get my legs apart. So I do that, and now I feel my anus start to open and this is a BIG poop. Well I'm fighting it now, struggling and grunting to get this thing out of me. Mom could hear me grunting, I know, and finally she comes back there and says she's going to help me...I figured she ment an enema and I start crying that I don't want one. Well that wasn't what she had in mind, instead she put a big glob of vaseline on her finger and push it into my bottom. Then she left me but I heard her tell my Dad "he's so constipated. Well It took a while, and in the middle of it my stomach cramps down really hard... that hurts. After a lot more straining I get this monster poop pushed out of me. But finally it won't move any further, no matter how hard I fight it nothing happens.

For some reason I decided to try to stand up. I don't know what made me do it, but a soon as I did my poop FELL out of me, that was the most exqusite relief I can ever remember! What had happened was the poop had hit the bottom of my potty chair pot and it held it in me.

Now Linda hope you enjoyed hearing that story. I REALLY would love to hear yours about watching your Mom go after a week. What could have happened that made you not want tell us about it?-- JW

The Crank
To Mike:The shape of the squatting toilet you mentioned is only found in Japan.In other Asian countries and in some parts of Europe,the squatting toilets look almost like the Japanese kind except that it is flat on the ground.Also,the Japanese toilet also requires you to face different directions to pee or poop. I once read a Japanese comic where there was a scene where a tiny man was on the cistern of a toilet and a girl came in to pee.The 1st frame showed her unclipping her shorts,the 2nd showed the tiny man's reaction and teh 3rd showed her fastening her shorts again.

Mark B
Buzzy – interested to read your piece about your open arsehole. Mine stays open while I am having a poo unless I deliberately ‘pull in’ between poos coming out. It’s easy to control. During the poo I recently posted about, I kept my arsehole open throughout. It can be more stimulating that way. BTW how do you manage to look in a mirror if you are sitting on the toilet seat? Where is the mirror placed? Is it in the toilet? Do you look between your legs? If I rest a mirror at the back of the seat, I have to poo standing up in order to see in the mirror. (I don’t normally do this, but I was into doing this when I was younger). There was a memorable ‘open arse’ event on television once, although it didn’t involve a person. I hope readers will forgive my indulgence when I describe it. It was in one of the blockbuster natural history series produced by Sir David Attenborough and the BBC, probably ‘The Living Planet’. (I don’t know if this series was ever shown in America). The scene started with a shot of a very rare asiatic Rhinoceros, which was grazing. Suddenly it raised its tail and its anus distended outwards, and then it did a big poo. Then Attenborough walked into view, and went over to the pile of Rhinoceros poo and started looking at it and discussing it very seriously, describing how it played an important part in the local ecosystem. I can’t remember, but I think he picked up a piece and examined it while he was discussing it. I remember my friends and I thought it was hysterical when we watched. Only Attenborough could solemnly do this, in all seriousness, on prime time television, and get ! away with it! BBC Radio 4 (that’s a national radio station in the UK) once did a programme on the history of toilet paper. Unfortunately it was broadcast while I was at work so I missed it. Did anyone hear it? I wonder what they used before paper was invented. I know that wild chimpanzees use leaves. Cinquain – you talked about defecation etc. not being sexy for you. That’s interesting. It can be very sexy for me, and can lead to erections, fantasies, etc, if I want, although it doesn’t have to. Reading other posts I know that some others feel like this. There is surely a connection between the fact that I love to read about or see guys going to the toilet, having accidents etc, but not women, and the fact that I am gay. On the other hand I have a completely separate, thriving, sexual relationship with my long-term partner. The poo thing is like a second, different way of getting turned on, on my own. I am not at all into combining the two things (ie ‘scat sex’ with another person). And as I have said in a previous post, I think that shitting provides its own kind of visceral pleasure anyway, which is not particularly anything to do with sex. Mark B (UK)

Friday, July 23, 1999

great aim
just found the site. a number of years ago when i was in sales, I discovered an office building where the men's and ladies' were side by side, seperated only by a thin wall. I scoped in out and went in. Next thing you know, I hear the door next to me close and the exhaust fan come on. I hear her zipper open, and sit on the john. She really had to go. A real gusher!! I spent the next several hours in there just enjoying the sounds of my neighbors. I frequented this spot for a long time, but only once heard a lady poo. All were peeers. One time two girls came in together. What a thrill that was to hear one go, then the next. After finding this site yesterday, I went back for the first time in 3 years. No one joined me next door.

Hi guys. CancerChild/Kyle, I would guess the longest I've gone without pooping (at all) was four days. I "normally" poop at least once daily but can sometimes go for 36 hours without having to. Torie, I know exactly how you feel about having to pee "wicked badly." I can hold my poop (unless I have the runs, which is rare) but once I feel the urge to pee, I have to GO! My bladder is very weak. I've peed only once outside, and that was with my friend Steph. I also find it impossible to stop the "waterworks" (but I'd have no reason to if I'm already comfortably seated on the potty) once I start. Melissa, if for whatever reason you don't want to talk about Melanie (yes, her privacy should be considered), please feel free to do so. I liked your story about what happened at Hampton Beach; I'm sure you know now to never yell "come on" again regardless of how badly you're trying to go :) Here's a great big hug and a kiss from me to you (Sorry, Barney). Love, Alex :)

Let me tell you of an interesting thing that happened to me. For lunch, I go across the street to Jack in the Box. (Jumbo Jax(?) are the best!) I go there quite often to read, eat, and relax. This Jack in the Box is famous for there men's restroom being out of order. It seems that at least twice a week it is out of order, so I must go across to McDonald's and relieve myself. This particular day, after a relaxing lunch, to my astonishment the men's rr was working, this time it was the women's rr that was out of order. As I walked past it, I let out a laugh "ha ha" this time the women's is out of order. In I go, and head to the urinal to relieve myself. So here I am standing, ready to pee, when all of a sudden, the door bursts open. I hear a female voice "sorry, this is an emergency!" What the hell, I told myself, and as I turn around, I see a white woman (blonde), probably mid 20's or so, a typical college girl. What I did notice was this girl looked sick, had a pale white face. "Oh great I told myself, here she is seeing me pee." I had to get the hell out of there, as I had a feeling this girl was going to throw up. Not finished peeing, I get ready to get the hell out of there. She heads over to the one stall, closes the door, and again she says "I am so sorry, this is an emergency!!!!!!!" I told her "no problem, you have to go, you have to go......." I hear a toilet seat cover get ripped, and I hear her unzip her pants, and then a "splat splat splat spalt..........this girl is letting out a shot of diarrahea, no doubt about it...........I run out of there, and as I leave, I take a peak under the stall and see her I leave, I notice two men heading towards the restroom. Should I tell them there is a woman in there? No, let them have a surprise today, they won't mistake those feet/shoes for a woman (she was wearing open sandals, her red-colord toenails are clearly visible). I head back to my car, and decide to wait a few minutes........I am curious as to whether those two guys come out and when........they are in there for a few minutes, maybe they didn't see or realize there was a woman in there? They both come out, and then about a minute later, she comes out running, heads to a car driven by another woman.................I can see them drive across the street and head to the McDonald's, and sure enough, the poor girl runs in there.................this time I hope the woman's rr is working. (And she better check her panties for brown spots)

I enjoy talking about toilets and bathrooms. I found a Japanese site that had some hidden cameras. They appeared to be in a women's restroom. What I noticed was that the "toilets" appeared to be at ground level, meaning just a hole in the ground, but the shape of a toilet seat. Anyone know about these toilets? I have seen them elsewhere, they appear to be only in Japan?

CancerChild (Kyle *female*)
Yesterdays Dump It was around six 'o' clock PM and i had just finished dinner. I haven't been feeling good all day i threw up 3 times today. I had a stomach ache and my Aunt suggested i go into the bathroom and try to go poop. So i went in and pulled down my Football pajama pants and Star Wars underpants. I sat down and felt no urge to go at all. Now i haven't gone poo in 29 hours so i could see why my aunt was worried. I strained and pushed but nothing would come out. I grabbed my new Pokemon comic and started reading. I figured i might as well get ready to go into 3rd grade. (I have missed school because of cancer and my reading is poor i am repeating 3rd grade the 3rd time). Well i finished my comic in an hour. My Aunt knocked at the door. She said i had better come out. 30 hours and still no poo. My cousin who had been at work since 6am came home. She took one look at me and said "You're still in your pajamas? I left 13 hours ago!" Then my Aunt said "She's sick give her a break". Well my! cousins had just gotten the movie Milo and Otis so we decided to watch it. So we went to the 3rd floor put blankets down and i layed on a bedpan and had a bucket. I fell asleep at 9 a clock. Later-- It was late i could tell. I looked around and i was in my aunts arms. She said it was 2am. I said "Let me go to sleep." Then she said the most gross thing for an adult!!! She said "You NEED to go poop now"!!! I looked at her shocked. She said go sit on the bed pan in your room and go! so i went back to sleep. I just woke up. No poop yet i'll write as SOON as it starts coming out.

Yay!! Glad to see you're back JW. I thought for sure you had fallen off the face of the earth. Good thing you didn't..I missed you badly. Yeah you told me about your troubles with your mom and your hiding place but you went into more detail this time. Gee that was bad..and I feel bad for you.. i did see my mom poop when she hadn't gone in like almost a week..and man it freaked me out..but i watched.But I don't think i'd ever watch again..if if I were handcuffed to the sink. But still good to hear that you finally did get over that..can you tell me about a time you went behind there and used your potty chair..I'd love to hear it. I'd post about my mom pooping but it was just too freaky. Anyway glad to hear you're back. Linda

Hi All! Thanks for the responses to my previous post...about whether today's boys still have social permission to pee in each other's company without embarrassment when they're playing together outside...a post which is now pages down and lost in oblivion....though I'm still interested in hearing recent opinions about it. (The consensus seemed to be: YES...boys will always be boys!)

I've got lots to share about lots of things, but I'll take 'em in small daily doses. FIRST...for the Yoo-Hoo folks (ref. turning your poop green)'re gonna LOVE this! I went last weekend to a punk rock festival called the Van Warped Tour. Dozens of bands..."extreme" sport stuff. Lots of tattoos, piercings, moshing...a very sexy scene! Anyway, there was a "Yoo-Hoo" promotional booth...and the guys who ran it were giving away "Free Yoo-Hoo Merchandise" (tee-shirts, 6-packs, etc.) to people who would show they "wanted it" by being willing to do outrageous things. The "MC" in the booth instructed one male "contestant" to take off his shirt and lie on the ground. He then told a female "contestant" to hold a bottle of Yoo-Hoo close to her crotch, and squat over the boy as though she were "squatting to relieve herself in the woods"...while turning the open bottle mouth-downward. This she did...drenching the boy's face with what WOULD have been (in its natural element) either one very runny liquid poop, or one very off-color pee produced by a HUGE female urethral opening! This "feat" was observed by a crowd of about thirty onlookers! Of course, the two kids won their prizes. I always knew Yoo-Hoo was sort of a weird/nerdy drink...but this "official" weirdness was something else. Does company HQ know what perverse activities its field reps are engaging in out there?! You guys would have loved it!

By the way, the boy's face did NOT turn green...but he shore wuzza mess o' chocolate brown! Also by the way, there were only about half a dozen kids seen whizzing outdoors in this crowd of some 15,000...all of them guys...behind some parked vans or in a small shed which provided convenient cover. One boy just went BEHIND the Porta-Potties. Everyone else actually LINED UP to pee in the Porta-Potties...even the boys! Zeesh...what kind of lame-assed bourgeous teen wanna-be anarchists are afraid to pee outside in the company of their own peers? Which takes me back to my original posting: I STILL think today's kids are "losing it" to insistent social brainwashing about maintaining absolute genital privacy. Maybe Europe is different. I understand the "Love Parade" in Germany was pretty hot! Anyone got recent concert observations to share? Cheers, Aster.

Hugh G.
When I was kid, I removed the insect scrrening from my bedroom window, so I could urinate without troubling myself to go to the tiolet. I had a Rottweiler-Border Collie mixed dog, and he was huge. He must have weighed nearly 100 pounds. Also, he had a nasty habit of eating his own shit, and that of the other dog. Once, I wanted to see what he'd do, so I sat on the windowsill, grabbed hold of the top of the window opening (it opens sideways), and dropped a nice log on the ground. Sure enough, it ws gone the next day. I had an old, decomissioned school textbook, so I emptied my bowels in it's open pages, and set it out for the dog and watched. Sure enough, he opened the book to the appropriate page and licked it clean. No wonder he had such bad breath! I sometimes wonder why he ate shit. Is it for health? He lived to be 12 years old, which is expected for a dog his size. Rection.

Good Morning! I'vefound several posts on here that I'd like to personally address. Cancer Child: That's something to have actually grown up with cancer since babyhood. My prayers are with you in hopes that your body will get straightened out before long. I didn't realize that one could undergo chomo for so long. I thought there were limits to its administration. It almost seems as if you take it just like many of us take vitamins. Guess I'm never too old to learn something new. Anyway, I hope that it won't be long before you're cancer-free. Have you ever been a patient at City of Hope? I see their documentaries on TV once in awhile--so sad yet so hopeful all at the same time.

Alvin: I agree with you. I don't find anything sexy about poop and pee. The only thing coming close to sexy is the sharing and bonding between two people in love. The closeness symbolized by this is what's sexy and sensuous. If I find poop and pee anything other than part of the day's routine, it would be "interesting to study." Examples: How large (or in the case of pee how much produced), shape, texture, color, and so forth. Due to discovering this board (which I did by keywords when I was actually looking for some other information about bodily functions and about toilets), I have become more interested in the respect that I'm actually thinking about doing experiments where I INTENTIONALLY go on a steady diet of certain colored foods for a day or so just to see how it colors my poop. Or decorates it. Like when I went on that mashed potato binge and produced white poop. What if I went on a mashed potato and corn-on-the-cob binge. Bet THAT would produce interesting results!

Nameless Poster: I've known people of all ages (even little kids barely out of diapers), all sizes, and both sexes to do pan-busters (as you call them here--I call them snakes, sausages, and yardsticks, with the last term coined by a close friend). I think it depends on quantity and texture of food eaten along with the functioning of the digestive tract rather than age, size, and gender. I don't weigh 300 lbs but am closer to that statistic than I'd like to be. My BMs are healthy and usually fairly good-sized, especially when I eat a lot of fruits, vegetables, and grains. When I eat more fast food, the BMs tend to be smaller in size. Only on a few rare occasions has passing them been difficult, which leads me to addressing

Big B and Torrie: For both 1 and 2, I'm pretty fast on the draw without being explosive (gassy). I sit down to poop, and out it comes. I think it must take me about 10 seconds to complete a BM and about 5 to pee. But, after that, I like to sit on the toilet and read. So, when engrossed in a good book, I've probably sat on the pot a couple of hours at times. But I don't sit that long ALL of the time. Too many other things vieing for my attention. But I have. When I sit there that long, I seldom have another BM, but I have repeated the peeing process during my reading (and/or daydreaming and puzzle-working session).

Donny: Along with your flashlight, shouldn't you also have a transparent umbrella. Your post reminds me of the joke about the Foo-Foo Bird. There is this legend that, in a faraway land, the Foo-Foo Bird flies through the sky crying out "Foo-Foo!" in such a haunting way that people just can't resist looking up at it. Only one big problem: Generally, when the bird emits that sound, he's about to take a dump. Some of the bird-watchers got it right in the eye. To make matters worse, those who DID get it right in the eye would die when they removed it. So people were warned not to remove the bird poop. Well, this one unlucky guy got it in both eyes and became blind. After awhile, he decided that he was tired of being blind and thought that he SURELY wouldn't die just for removing it from ONE of his eyes so that he could see again. WRONG! The minute his right eye was poop-free, he dropped dead. There's a moral to this story: If the foo S***s, wear it!

Tony (UK): I can't believe how controlling/overprotective/just plain nosy some of the mothers mentioned here are! It's a wonder they don't follow their kids around all day with their noses stuck up their bottoms so they can smell every stink that they might let! Maybe they need to discover this forum if they want to be so nosy about bathroom habits! Clever line about cutting out the middleman!

Daniel (UK): My grandparents used to have a three-holer (three holes of graduating sizes). Sometimes, all three holes were occupied with others waiting to go. We'd all sit (or, for those waiting, stand) around and talk while we did our business. It was unisex--but all of these social gatherings were single-sex (generally, us females), and we had a lock on the door. An exception to the same-sex rule might be a wife, husband, and child. We kids also used the place for a clubhouse. There was a long board that could close over the holes, turning the area into a bench. This particular use of the outhouse was unisex until somebody had to use it for its intended purpose. Then, everyone of the opposite sex had to vacate the premises.

Kara: When I was three or four, I was out in a rowboat with several family members when I had to pee. There was an empty A&P coffee can on board, so I used it. It was then put out into the water like a toy sailboat where it floated away. A few days later, we drove over this bridge about 100 miles from where we were on the river, and my dad said that he bet my can of pee had made it to this point. He suggested I look out as we drove over the bridge to see if I could see it. I never saw it, but I believed my mom when she told me that SHE did!

Randi P: Interesting problem. If you've been dressing like a man, you DEFINITELY belong in the men's room. If you've been dressing like a woman, it would seem to me that you SHOULD be in the women's room--except for a teensy-weensy problem: Your co-workers KNOW your current gender. Until you've actually been switched, why not wear unisex clothes and use the men's. I suppose they want your genitals to correspond with the restroom you use. After all, if they let YOU get away with it while you're still hung, they would have to let Bill Clinton into the ladies' room if he would don a dress, high heels, and a long, blonde wig! And, from what I understand, that might not be the most sensible thing to do!

Have A Nice Day, Everyone! And May The Going Be Great!

P.S. I almost forgot!

Melissa: You're right about Buzzy and Dazz--and especially Buzzy! Just seeing his name on the board makes me laugh, because it's not only a funny-sounding name but I know it will go (no pun intended) with a post that's a real scream! Sounds like you had one dogNOTgone experience among the dunes, by the way. Glad everything came out all right in the end!

To the person who wrote me about the black woman shitting a 4" turd: I am sure some university out there has some government grant to study the average size turd passed by Man and Woman. God only knows, I have heard of many strange grant studies out there sillier than this. Did you ever have a woman come in and use the bathroom while you were working on the plumbing? I have been working here, going on over ten years and I have had a lot of the office woman come in on me. There have been several times, when I was in the stall taking the stool off the floor to retrieve something lodged inside like a pen and most of the time a tampon tube. They can't make the bend when flushed down the toilet ladies. Anyway I would be in their working with an "Out of Order" sign on the door, and woman would come in and I would hear them say.... "OH is the Toilet out of order?" I always come back with something stupid "No Ma'am I'm using it" they would laugh and then ask if the sink was working and I would tell them yes it is. Then there is silence and I could hear them pee in the hand sink outside the stall. This happens a lot. If I am cabling the sink when it's clogged, they go into the stall and do their business while I am in there working. I have always wanted to come out of the stall while they peed in the sink and tell them I have to go get some more tools, just to see how they did it standing up, but I never can get up the courage to do it. I'm afraid I would get slapped and she would tell the whole office that I was a pervert or something. I do find it a turn on to listen to the woman doing there jobs with me in there. Especially when I no all the woman in the office just by there voices alone. Anyway I cant believe bold how half the office women are to do it while I am in there. To Donny: Man I don't think you would want to be in a boat in our ladies toilet. If the woman we have here sat over you and shit out her huge log, you and your light wouldn't stand a chance dude.

Hello everyone, I've been a long time visitor to this site, but haven't posted that often. I did have the opportunity to talk to a female friend two weeks and explain her how she could pee standing up. I talked to her again last night and she mentioned she had tried peeing in the shower using my suggestion. She was amazed! She had very good distance and was simply amazed and how well it worked. She added that with some practice she thought accomplish what I had suggested. Which was to pee fully clothed standing up! I'll keep you posted when I receive more news from her.

To Torie - Torie, I can't believe it, for a while we also lived about two hours away (South-West) from H. Beach. We'll have to swap stories at some time. Anyway, I would like to bet that if you really really really had to go whether it was a poop or just a pee, and it was starting to come out, and you were somewhere you thought you would not be seen - you would go outside. I have to ask - have you ever had a bad accident? You probably know that I have had several, and believe me nothing will persuade you to consider the alternate of an outdoors poop like a really bad accident. I was also amazed that you were able to pee for a whole minute - my goodness - that's an eternity - all I can say is, "Wow!" Like I said recently, 15 seconds is a stretch for me. Torie - it was great to hear from you again - all my love, Melissa. Tony (UK) - Yes I used to tell little lies to my mom and pretend to take the pills - but not all the time because I did feel bad about lying to my mom. Melanie just couldn't lie at all, so she probably suffered more in some ways than I did. I love you Tony, thanks for your thoughts - Melissa.

Ryan-13 male
I cancer child. I just want you to know that I have been praying for you that one day you will be healed by the power of god. I've never had cancer so I don't know what it's like. But I do know that people get sick alot because of the chemotherapy. You have a long bridge to cross yet, but if you've survived this long I know you can beat the cancer. If only I could meet you in person then could I make this more meaningful to you. I don't like judging people and I try to be helpfull whenever they need it. And if I could see you in person I would be right by your side supporting you. So if anybody ever makes fun of you for some reason just because you have cancer, don't worry just remember what I have told you. Your friend, Ryan

Great stories everyone!Mark B-Liked your poo srory,a lot like some of my poo sessions!I have a story of my own that happened this a.m.This goes out to Milissa,hope you enjoy this,honey.I was at a bar-b Q yesterday eve. and had some hot dogs and burgers.Now,i've been basically a vegitarian all summer and then i had this stuff last nite and all nite it felt like a dead weight in my ???? and i didn't feel too hot when i went to bed at midnite.About 4 am i woke up with these serious cramps.At first, i tried to ignore it and go back to sleep,but i realized after 5 min of this i couldn't,so i got up and went to sit on the bowl.Just before i sat down,i thought,this might be one for the mirror.So i got the mirror out and sat down and spread my legs apart to get the mirror in position so i could see my anus.Then i started to pee and as i'm peeing i could see my anus pushing out about 1/2 inch or so but no poo was coming down the chute yet.I felt these cramps and i started to push,but nothing was coming out yet,and it was getting rather uncomfortable.My asshole was poking out in a huge way and you could almost see up into my rectum.It looked like a big anthill!I kept pushsing and finally a turd started to come out.It was a big ball and it fell into the bowl with a big splash.The cramps were pretty intense by now and i pushed again.Again,my anus was wide open and i passed this hissing gas and this knobby turd stated to come out.It was about 5" long and dark and hard.Still my anus was open and i pushed again and it was like someone turned on a soft ice crean machine!It kept coming out in these long,soft pieces and dropping into the bowl.I was finally starting to feel some relief and it was feeling real good.Then atter about a minute or so of poo,it stopped,and my asshole was still pushed out and i didn't feel done.Then i heard my ???? growl and i got another cramp and my anus opened up and puhed out about an inch or more and this loose mush came out by the gallon!then i was farting in between and it was real noisy,but boy,did it feel good!Then i took a breather and looked at my anus and it was still pushed out.It looked huge!Then,some more gas and liquid poo flew out followed by this 20 second fart!Then i felt done, and sure enough,i looked at my asshole and it looked back to normal!I've come to the conclusion,that in between poos,my anus stays open.I never noticed that before.It was wild.The bowl was pretty full,but it all went down with 2 flushes.Does anyone else's anus do this as they are pooping?I'm going to check this out the next time i gotta go.How about you ,millisa,try the mirror thing,It's pretty cool.Went back to bed and slept like a baby.NO MORE BURGERS AND HOT DOGS.I guess my body was telling me something! Happy pooing to all!BYE

Kevin L
I am an old poster who has not posted in awhile, but I have been reading all the wonderful posts. Great story about your beach poop Melissa, I wish it was my dog that came upon you, but I think you handled the situation well. I ran a five mile race last week which started at 8:00am. I am not an early morning dumper so I didn not have to go before the race. I drink plenty jof fluids so I have to pee 3 to 4 times before it starts. The bathrooms were at a highschools football stadium. There was a line of about 15 guys and the door to the outside was proped wide open. There was a seperate room of urinals which was fine with me, but there were only 2 dooless stalls with all these guys waiting to release their crap before the race. They were brave souls because having the door proped open anyone walking by could see the guys on the toilet and they didn't care. I could not have pooped in that situation anyway. The ladies room was before the mens room so there was not that many women walking in front of the open door but there were some girls waiting for there boyfriends or husbands getting a full view. My girlfriend said there were plenty of stalls in the ladies room all with doors, you talk about discrimination. This may sound weird but I could take a dump in fornt of women more comfortable then in front of men. I guess is goes back to highschool when very few guys took dumps on the doorless stalls, and when the did they were teased or a girl was pushed in the bathroom. Keep up the great posts. Kevin L

Hi guys. CancerChild/Kyle, I would guess the longest I've gone without pooping (at all) was four days. I "normally" poop at least once daily but can sometimes go for 36 hours without having to. Torie, I know exactly how you feel about having to pee "wicked badly." I can hold my poop (unless I have the runs, which is rare) but once I feel the urge to pee, I have to GO! My bladder is very weak. I've peed only once outside, and that was with my friend Steph. I also find it impossible to stop the "waterworks" (but I'd have no reason to if I'm already comfortably seated on the potty) once I start. Melissa, if for whatever reason you don't want to talk about Melanie (yes, her privacy should be considered), please feel free to do so. I liked your story about what happened at Hampton Beach; I'm sure you know now to never yell "come on" again regardless of how badly you're trying to go :) I was born three years before you, and remember vividly our family's first PC. It was an Apple IIc which took BIG floppy disks; we got it while I was in 1st Grade (1984 or '85). We still have that computer, although it is now stored in one of the closets. Most people around our age (well, at least those of the so called "middle class") have grown up around computers and consider it a part of everyday living. My parents are educated, professional people, but still feel ill at ease around some types of technology. Here's a great big hug and a kiss from me to you (Sorry, Barney). Love, Alex :)

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