Yesterday I went into the ladies room for my lunchtime poo. Our receptionist Nina was in the stall on the left with the door open. I could hear her pooing. We started talking and I went into the stall next to her and I also left the door open. I pulled up my skirt (no panties, just stockings and garters in the summer) and sat down. I let out a booming fart and Nina started laughing hysterically! Anyway my poo came out and silently slid into the water, while Nina's were making little splashing sounds - she was at the end of her poo, I guess. She finished first and flushed. Then she came out of her stall, stood in front of me while I continued pooing and we carried on chatting. In case you're wondering, when someone is looking at me on the toilet I discreetly cover my vagina with my skirt. I also don't look at the toilet paper after I wipe - my boss does and it's gross! When I finished, I looked in the bowl and saw one 9" turd and several smaller and thinner ones.

Hi, here's my embarrassing poo story. When I was at college I went to visit my girlfriend's parents'house for the first time. This is naturally a nervous occasion and I was literally cacking myself. On arriving I excused myself and went upstairs. The problem was that when I flushed I left floaters in the netty - can you fu**en believe it? I tried everything to get rid of them - like chucking wads of bog paper down and battering them with the bog brush. Eventually I put my hand in and scooped them up and chucked them out the window. However, I didn't know the geography of the house and when I got downstairs my girlfriend's father was out in the back garden searching for "something that's just rattled down the gazebo roof." "I'll get me coat" I said.

I've been interested in poop since, as a kid, my mom sometimes complained that I wasn't clean enough and I had a smelly butt. She would take me to the bathroom, wipe me clean, and spank me for not keeping clean. Anyone else had anything like that happen?

someone asked how females use the space toilet. I have a question to the person who asked that question, or whoever can answer my question. What is space toilet?

cute linda
Hi everyone. It's me again. Oh don't get me started on people barging in while I'm trying to poop!! My sisters have done that to me lots of time..and I can't go!! It's true..let me tell you. One time I sat down bare tushies on the potty after having lots of ???? cramps and well i had been holding it a loooooooooooooooooong time and my older sister knew it. I sat there and relaxed as i peed. I bet she sat outside of the door waiting for me to stop peeing so she could barge in and catch me pooping. Well I started straining and pushing like crazy and after a while it started had just stated to poke out and open my poor tushie wide when my older sister came in and laughed. I turned many colors of red I'm sure and the poop stopped..I mena it wouldn't move and I was dying. Well I yelled at her to go and she didn't she sat there and watched me without blinking. I kinda gave up and tried..but it wouldn't probabaly felt the way i did. I cried and yelled some more. My cousin heard me and finally got her out. he closed and lokced the door. When he truned to me and asked me if I was okay I was sitting there doing nothing as the poop was on the move again coming out faster than it ever had. I looked up at him as there was a huge SLPASH!!! I turned red and nodded. I sat back and passed 6 more big poops while he rubbed my ???? and comforted me..after that I always asked him to come with me and sty in there so I could poop in peace. But that's nothing to what they did when i was smaller. They used to wait for me when i was barely going by myself and the minute I started to go..they would turn the lights off and close the door leaving me in the dark.Sometimes i think they are the ones who are responsible for me having trouble pooping in the first place. What do you think. XOXO Linda p.s. Oh dear Melissa you had an accident..I'm so sorry.

David W.
Slayer Moon: about your inquiry about what kind of foods to eat to prevent having to poop, I heard stories about Vietnam veterans who would eat crackers covered with peanut butter in the morning and not have a problem all day. Then in the evening, they would drink orange juice or some kind of citrus drink and then just "shit their brains out". Last summer I was forced to be a vegetarian for around 2 weeks after I had my wisdom teeth taken out. My shit which is normally mushy became rock hard for the time period. Everything returned back to normal soon after.

The Crank
Have anyone been mountainbiking and you rode over some poo and you don't know about it untill you reach home,washed your tyres and stink up the whole place with poo water?My mum literally screamed,"What kind of person doesn't look where he cycled?"Okay,this is for my dignity,which of you had such an experince? Ever seen a snake do a BM?Not that I have,but how in the world do it? I attended an Outward Bound School and on the last night,we were suppposed to stay in an tiny island.Halfway through the night I badly needed a i took my torchlight and made out to some bushes.Till now,I could not believe my luck.In the moonlight,I saw two female campers(very beautiful,great figure too)searching for some place.I thought she could not sleep or something.Suddenly both of them lowered their shorts and squatted there.I would not want to miss this show,so I quietly crept up behind and lay down in the bushes.The cone trees did not make a very thick canopy,so the moon light shone through,giving me a fantastic view.One of them started to grunt pretty loudly,thinking everyone's alseep,which is quite true.I was the only one awake.Ughhhhhh,she went and exhaled again.She did that about 3 time before her butt hole opened.She took another breath and pushed with all her might.Between her sexy butt came a massive log,dark brown in colour.It really stretched her anus.She gasps,and pushed again,"come on"she encouraged herself.Her friend by this time had by then passed out a very boring turd,nothing to talk about and was wiping.The first girl gave a gigatic push and held her butt cheeks apart with her hands,and finally let go of the log.Both finished wiping and went back to sleep. I peed,and did something which should not be said and also went back to sleep.

I have never had any problems with standing to pee in a chamber pot, though I do not leave it on the floor (if you did, then I agree that it would be easy to miss and make a mess.) I have always held it in front of me, just below crotch height.

Doug......I don't usually experience shame doing a poo at parties etc as I'm usually a bit drunk!!! It was different when I was a kid though as then most parties I went to were family gatherings and the like and I didn't want them knowing what I was doing. Not so bad if there was more than one toilet in the house, especially if the other toilet was tucked away in a far corner or basement. One thing that still irks me now is fast food joints or restaurants that have only one bathroom with only one bowl in it. The toilet can stay empty for ages, but when I go in for a nice lesiurly poo, inevitably someone else suddenly wants to use it and I have to hurry up. I don't get embarrassed in that situation, just a bit annoyed that I have to rush a pleasurable moment. So to all the restuarants and fast food places out there........more toilets please!!!!!!

To TERRANCE-Nice story about the woman in the garden.It's great to see women pooping in the woods when they don't see you.Sounds like this girl had to go bad! I would have liked to have seen that!!To MR J-I've found, any time you change your diet,your poo habits change.But that sounds just like me. I go every day and when i gotta go,i gotta go NOW,and most of the time, it's a lot of poop.In the summer with the hot weather, i go more,some 2-3 times a day and since i've been 90% vegiterian,it's always a lot each time i go,but it's never the runs,it's always slightly soft and long, usually REAL long.Doing 1 footers is not uncommon and when i have to hold it (like when i'm out on my bike or at the beach) I expel 15-16 inchers and it comes out fast.So enjoy your big poops MR j and tell us all about them! Did a nice big one this a.m.I waited til i really had to go and sat on the bowl and didn't push at all. i just relaxed my asshole and out came a 1 footer and some gas and then another long one( maybe 10 inches) nice and soft.I too an going to try the videotape thing.One of these mornings when i'm ripe for a good dump i'll try it .I'll tell you about it .BYE

Without making a long saga about whether to do a motion in the toilet at a party or try to hold it in, I of course back the "just do it" faction. Like the others I just cant see why anyone would take the risk of trying to hold it in and both suffer discomfort and the risk of an accident in their panties. I prefer to sit to pee anyway , (see old posts),so I would do it, but I can say that it is not that much easier for a bloke to hold in an oncoming turd is he stands to pee, many a man has suffered a "follow through" accident when this happens, as I have said before another good reason for both genders to sit to pee. Tell me, are Americans a bit more uptight about defecation as I dont know many Brits, apart perhaps from very snobbish types, to whom the question of whether to do a jobbie in the toilet at a party would even occur, most of us would just do it without a second thought. I have to say that I have often stood in line for the toilet and enjoyed listening to someone, es! pecially a woman, doing a nice big poo, and have seen some good jobbies left behind if the flush hasnt worked properly as the cistern has been slow to refill after repeated flushes or it has been a really big one.

On the subject of holding it in instead of going to the toilet when you feel the need then having an accident as a result, I saw such a happening earlier this week. I was standing in line to buy a rail ticket and there was a slightly ???? woman of about 25 or so standing in front of me, wearing a pair of tight black lycra (spandex) leggings under which I could see she had a pair of white panties (briefs) which were showing through . Here in the UK service at railway ticket counters is notoriously slow and the line inched forward. A couple of times she let go some silent but violent farts, and started to fidget from foot to foot.I guessed she needed a motion. Now unfortunately the customer in front of her wanted a non standard ticket and took some time to be served. (Why cant Ticket Offices, Banks, Post Offices etc provide a rapid service counter for standard and easily served transactions so the "awkward squad" can be dealt with separately and not slow up other customers?) Anyway, as we all waited I could see her discomfort becoming intense and she was looking longingly at the Ladies Toilet across the station concourse obviously wondering whether to lose her place in the long line or stay to be served. The ticket clerk was still serving the awkward customer when it happened. I heard her say, "Oh no!" in an anguished voice then give an audible squeaky smelly fart and I could see the seat of her leggings start to bulge out as to me it was obvious that her jobbie was coming out into her panties. She also dribbled some wee wee as a dark patch appeared. The bulge grew in size. Luckily it must have been quite a solid formed motion as it didnt seem to squash up too much and I could see the shape of it through the lycra leggings, somewhat like the bulge a man sometimes has in the front of tight shorts but at the back. It sure was a big one too!. Red in the face she shuffled up to the counter and bought her ticket then trudged over to the Ladies Toilet, with her luggage, to clean up with the bulge in the seat of her leggings now drooping down. If I had been wearing a coat I would have loaned it to her to cover her embarassment but being a hot day I was in shirt sleeve order. By now intrigued and as I was in no great hurry, I sat in the cafe opposite to see when she came out. About 20 minutes later she emerged now wearing a skirt, no doubt from her luggage, so she obviously had got cleaned up and changed into this and clean panties in the toilet. I wonder if she dumped the soiled panties and leggings or washed them out in the handbasin? To me the lessons in this were plain, dont neglect the need to go and either buy your ticket in advance if possible or leave enough time to do this but still be able to attend to the calls of nature if required.

Holding it in can be risky. Sometimes of course one has no choice, there isnt a toilet nearby nor anywhere to go such as woods, bushes, behind a wall. As kids at Primary (Grade) School some of us would deliberately hold it in hoping to do a really big fat jobbie when we did go but stopped this when my cousin Nicky who was about 11 at the time left it too late and had a big accident in her knickers on the way home from school as she had wanted to hold it in and do it at home so we could all see it, rather than do it in the Girls Toilet before going home. We DID see it, but not the way she had intended! Luckily her mother, my Aunt Helen, didnt make an issue of this, her attitude being accidents can happen to any of us, but we stopped this risky practice and just went when we needed from then on.

Melissa, your story reminds me of a similar incident when I was a kid. I was about 7 or so I suppose and the doorbell sounded. There was a man at the door who asked to speak to my Aunt Helen whow as in the toilet at the time. Debbie, the younger of my two cousins, then aged 9 said, "Im sorry she cant see you right now, she's sitting on the toilet doing a big jobbie" (which indeed she was at the time).

your name (optional)Amy
Ok the countdown to camp is on one week to go. We don't have to pack much because most of the stuff is povided their. If this had been a normal school camp I would have already began planning midnight partying and tricks but curse the stupid teachers for their tell you the gender but not the name policy. Oh I'm 13 and the 9 days at camp is split in three day lives. There are three lives to live:rich city, poor farmer and poor city. We draw The order we live in. The two poor lives I read in books used buckets as toilets and I don't have any idea how you use a bucket, so could you plase post this as well. Thanks to everyone who's helped me you've helped me 900%. I'll send you the full report.

No that book isn't prep. reding for the camp but it does pose kind of the same problem. I'll tell you what happens.

Oh no. I just got to the champter on schools in this big book and it said that the schools had two seater toilets and that some teachers thought it was a waste on time unless two students went at the same time and that there was usually one side for girls and one side for boys. Which ment that they went together. Please post on this topic. Does anyone know about the toilets in jail. In an old post it said that there were alot of strange things like sharing holding pens with females and indervidual cells. Please post your information

Hi guys. Jeff A., a great big lovin' howdy to you too!!! Chris C., re your question about why some wipes are so clean and others seemingly impossible to get your butt clean, just the way it is, I guess. I've had both extremes (and I'm sure most others have, as well). Janine, although I'm no longer a teenager (now 21), my patterns have been consistent for as long as I can remember. I always, or almost always, poop first thing morning and sometimes again later on in the day, depending on my diet. I take around 10 minutes to go and I let out some pee "99.9%" of the time. A couple of questions for you. I'm interested in peoples' wiping habits as well as the "act." When you're finished peeing and pooping (I assume you do let out some pee when you poop), do you wipe your vagina before wiping your butt? When wiping, do you wipe from bottom to top or top to bottom? I've written this before, quite a while back, but I wipe my vagina first and then always wipe my bum from bott! om to top. I remember reading in health education class back in high school that this is the "proper" way for one to wipe so fecal material doesn't get in contact with the penis or vagina. Torie, I've also gotten cramps after getting into a swimming poop. I think it does have to do with the chlorine, plus the (sometimes) great difference in temperature between the outside air and water. Perhaps our friend Nyad could fill us in on this? Greetings to everyone on here. Love always, Alex :)

Have any of you just wondered how many jobbies are plopping in the pan every second!?!? Take the population of the United States, for instance... approximately 278 Million people... assuming that on average one person has one BM a day, there should be about 3160 jobbies "floomping" their way down an american toilet pan every SECOND!! That's a lot of shit! In a average size metropolis (4 million people), every second 46 Jobbies hit the pan.. although this figure is only an average.. more jobbies will hit the pan every second at noon than at midnight and so forth..although I'd like to see the statistics for the early morning! Could any stats/mathematicians out there help me with this research?

Hello everybody. First to Steph. I love you - thanks for your concern - I do bend right over and very often gently hold my butt cheeks apart with my hands - I've found that helps a lot. I'll try and bend even further and put my head right down between my legs as you suggest and I promise to let you know how it works. Cutelinda - Don't worry about not being able to poop in front of others, that's entirely natural. The thing to remember is that this is because of the way we are brought up in this society - toilet is a private thing, not to be discussed, and by the way, always shut the door when you are in there. Also society's attitude towards sex and nudity reinforces this. When you are on the toilet, you have your panties down - Oh my goodness!, what a sin! But I must say I really do appreciate the faith and trust you have in me. I didn't fully understand all of this myself until I felt Angela's genuine concern and compassion for me while I struggled on the toilet. ! I would love to be with you, smile, hold your hand, comfort you and give you moral support while you work your way through a difficult poop. Remember, it's not you - it's society. To Traveler - you described it perfectly - "The indescribably good feeling of slight muscle tension spreading through the pelvic region", when you let your poop come out all on its own without pushing. This is one of my greatest joys as well. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but in addition to this I sometimes get vague but nice feelings a little further forward if you know what I mean - has anyone else found this? - please let me know. Well - as I promised I just had to tell you about the terrible accident I had on Wednesday. It's all to do with my summer job in the local mall. I work in a high class ladies apparel boutique and two mornings a week I get to open up the shop around 10 a.m. So I got up around 7:30 since it was my turn to open up, and almost straight away felt the urge to sit on the toilet. But me, being Melissa, figured I had more important things to do so I just squeezed hard to hold it in while I carried on with breakfast and all the other chores each morning brings. However by the time I had showered and dressed I could tell I really did need to have a good poop fairly soon. In fact as I got to my car I had to stand still with my legs crossed and squeeze so hard to keep it in that my face turned red. I should have turned back into the house and pooped right then, but no, I was determined to make it to the boutique and enjoy my bm there. Anyway I drove off and I guess from sitting in the car the pressure steadily built up again and lasted for the whole thirty minute drive. In fact I found a parking space just in time because by now my poop was threatening to come out. So as soon as I stopped the car I crossed my legs just in time as a huge strain gripped my butt. Once more I fought it off with a loud moan and a blushed face and waited until it subsided enough to let me get out of the car. The problem now was I had a ten minute walk to the boutique, but I had no choice and I set off walking as fast as I dared. I hadn't even got to the main entrance when another straining spasm hit me. So here I was in the open parking lot standing out like a statue with my legs crossed for any passer by to see. I felt so embarrassed it was untrue, but even worse I realized that in spite of all my effort I was about to suffer an even greater indignity. Another strain hit me and this time I couldn't hold it. To my absolute dismay I felt the tip of my poo forcing its way out of my hole and of course once the tip was peeking out it seemed I could do nothing to stop the inevitable from happening. I just stood there and with anguish written all over my face I felt my bum hole just completely surrender and open wider and wider as a huge poo forced its way out. It was so degrading to stand there so totally helpless and feel my panties just filling up. I lost all track of time but the pressure just kept my poop coming out, for ever it seemed, until eventually it was all lying in a big mass in my panties. Now I had to walk as carefully as I could all the way to the boutique which included a ride up an escalator, all the time terrified that the mess would fall down my legs or that somebody would realize what I had done. Luckily I got to the boutique without further mishap, opened the door, locked it firmly behind me and made straight for the bathroom picking up a large plastic boutique bag on the way. I locked the bathroom and unzipped my skirt letting it fall to the ground and pushed it well away with my foot so that nothing else would fall on it. I started to pull down my panty hose at the waist and got as far as my knees. Now I'm no expert with panty hose because I normally wear stockings or thigh highs because they're much cooler and more comfortable. Now my first instinct is to sit down, slip the panty hose down each leg in turn and take them off. There was no way I could sit down, I had to lift one leg on to the toilet seat, balance on the other leg and slide them off that way, all the time feeling the mess in my panties squeezing up against by butt cheeks as I leaned over. Eventually I did manage to get them off to find that they were completely ruined with a big stain which had seeped through my panties. I put them straight into the bag to make sure they didn't touch anything else. With my panty hose off I could feel the shear weight of the poop in my panties tugging them down - it really was the weirdest feeling. I started to pull my panties down and found they were stuck to my poo poo which was also sticking to my butt. Oh, it was horrible! - I pulled down ever so slowly until the poop peeled away from by bum and became a heavy weight in the seat of my panties. I lowered them even further, scared that my poop would fall out all over the bathroom floor, until I was able to gingerly step out of them. It was a ghastly sight as I looked at this single huge log I had all squashed up in my underwear. As carefully as possible I dropped the complete mess into the bag along with my panty hose and closed the bag up as tightly as I could. By this time the smell was becoming very noticeable. The rest was a lot easier, I took my blouse off just to make sure it didn't get dirty and standing there wearing only my little bra I washed myself with gallons of water and the best part of a toilet role, most of which also went in the bag. Clean up was mercifully easy. I got dressed minus my panties and panty hose, switched the bathroom vent on full, grabbed the bag, locked the main door behind me and made as fast as I could for the dumpsters at the back of the mall. On the way back I called in at J.C. Penny which was already open and bought new panties and some thigh highs. Just let me say, I'm 18 years old now, and to do this in public was the most degrading, humiliating and embarrassing experience I can ever remember. I know, I asked for it, you will say, and I know it's up to me to pay a little more heed in the future when my poo poo tells me it wants to come out. I know some of you out there hold it in like me, so be very careful - lots of love to all - Melissa

Before the 19th century invention of water closets, there were two alternatives for your excretory functions. One was the privy, almost always in an outhouse, cold, dark and unheated, the other was the chamber pot, or a slightly more grown-up version, the commode, a seat with a chamber pot let into the center. In big cities, the residues from your excreta ('night soil') were collected by paid employees and taken out of the city and dumped. I don't know what they used to wipe with, probably newspaper.

Samuel Pepys in the 17th century records quite a lot of details in his diaries. People hated taking a dump, because of the cold inhospitable privies, and constipation among the middle classes was very common. Pepys dealt with the problem by avoidiong taking a dump during the week, and dosing himself with a laxative every Sunday and staying in the house near to a commode until he had got the message and done his business. In Tudor times, the King had a special attendant, usually a high nobleman, who was Groom of Stool. His job was to be present while the King did his business, giving him wiping materials etc., and no doubt muttering encoraging words when the king was constipated. He was responsible for removing the chamber pot containing the royal turds and piss, and disposing of it in the soil receptacle. At Hampton Court (I think) there was a large Hall of Easement, with a long wooden seat with holes so that up to 20 inmates of the Palace could do their business at the same time.

Hey Laaaaydies!!What's up everyone? First a couple of shout outs since I havent posted in a while since I just got Limp Bizkits new CD Significant Other, Ok, shout outs, #1 goes out to Torie, because I love how she uses a combination of vulgarity and innocence in the same story, one sentance she'll call it sh*t the next its poopees, thats so cute for 13! #2 to Krista, because shes like the only female here requesting guys poopees(Sorry Torie!)storys, which I have a decent one! #3 To everyone who purchased Significant Other, and all those BackStreetBoys fans for giving Limp Bizkit compitition! Ok, my story, finally, heres one about me, not the many females in my life(Since no one has requested many female storys)! Ok, if you dont know, for 15 Im WAY too normal, I try to go daily, but that doesnt amount to much, so I decided to see what would happen if I didnt go nightly, I started Sunday night and didnt go until I felt like i really had to, so Thursday rolls around and Im at my! Girlfriends house, we just got back from Kings Island, and I felt the need, so I just said as casual as possible "I have to sh*t I'll Be Right Back" She said she had to go too, the rides got her moving for the first time this week, I just said "Me Too" so she accompanied me I went first, and I dont grunt, so must of you probably wouldnt want to see me from what Ive heard Y'all like, just sat down pushed and one big log that was smooth and easy slid out, I waited a second and another, and another, I layed 2 6" logs and a 4" log, about 2" thick. She said "my turn my turn!" in her cute little 5'1" voice(I have no idea why, but I always end up with the short girls, they're just cuter than the rest around here i guess!) she sat down and just barely pushed and I heard what sound like foam coming out very quikly! she went on like that for 2 minutes or so, she got up, let me inspect, I swear, there must have been 4 foot of stringy crap in there, if layed out straight, it was all attached, and only about 1/2" thick though, pretty kewl I'd say, well, thats my story and proof that every short girlfriend Ive ever had can crap more than me anyday! Cya! -Fred-( No my real name is not Fred, thats Limp Bizkits vocalist and my nickname)

Friday, June 25, 1999

Donny mentions girls using the boys urinals at school. When I was at school, the urinals were not the more modern individual "basins", but were simply a long wall, not even a trough, covered with porcelain tiles with a channel (about 3 inches wide) with a drain in it running along the base of the wall. I suspect that girls would not find this style of urinal quite so easy to use. It does have the advantage, as you just have to pee somewhere onto the wall, of being able to be used by someone of any height.

Doug: I think your question about shame doing a number 2 at a private party was excellent. At a small house party I know I would feel self conscious. My big hang ups in these situations are: (1), having people see me go to the bathroom. I know they are going to watch for me to leave and make opinions about what I was doing in there. (2), Leaving a smell in the bathroom., that lets them know exactly what I was doing. (3), having a line of people outside. I can just imagine their thoughts - "Wow, Melissa must be having a real hard time" I would just feel so small coming out of the bathroom and seeing them all staring at me and "Knowing" what I had been doing. So if I was doing a pee and I felt a poo coming on I would let it keep coming. I wouldn't push, I would just let it figure out what it really wanted to do. If it kept coming out I probably wouldn't stop it unless there were others waiting to use the bathroom. In any case if it made no real effort to open my hole and peep out I would just squeeze and hold it in. Just my opinion - but I think girls might be more self conscious about this than boys. By the way I'm still trying to get time to put a post together on my Wednesday morning accident - I still can't believe it happened. Love to all.

Well, I liked all the recent stories of accidents and hard poops from females, keep them coming! I actually tried something recently. I tried to hold my poop for as long as I could until I just couldn't hold it anymore. I was able to hold it three days, all the while eating pretty decent sized meals. All of a sudden, the third night, I was studying for a biology regents that I took today, and I felt this huge cramp in my gut and when I tried to get up, I realized I couldn't without the poop all coming out in my boxers, but it was starting to come out already as I was sitting. I just couldn't take it anymore, and I knew it would be bad if I did that poop in my boxers, because they wouldn't be able to hold it in, and it would fall on the room of my floor. Somehow, I figured out how to get up off my chair without having an accident, and I started running to the toilet, all the while with this huge, compacted turd poking out of my anus, just begging to fall out into my boxers. Luckily, I made it to the toilet, but my ordeal wasn't over yet. Unfortunately, since I'd been holding the poop for 3 days, it was pretty compacted, and it took a lot of straining and vocalization to get out. Well, gotta go. Happy motions to all! Dave-NY

I was just wondering how females use the space toilet. Please post it.

In answer to Doug, it would depend on the circumstances, ie, if I knew the people at the party, how urgent the situation was and whether it could be done without gassing everyone. At most parties the toilet is in fairly good use throughout and I wouldn't want to be holding others up and then having to expose them to a stink. If I could hold it in I would and usually a good fart, preferably outside, can relieve the pressure suffiently to put it off till later. Generally though, I find there is nothing worse than being in a situation where you are in mixed company and trying to hold in a 'thunderous turd burst', so I try and make sure I won't get caught short and have a good dump well beforehand. It is winter here in NZ and at work, where I usually dump, the toilet seat is very cold. I am lucky that one of the young guys who works for me often has a dump when he gets here so I have been waiting until he has been in there and then I can sit on the seat warmed by his behind. Anyone else have a problem with cold toilet seats?

Slayer Moon
When I take a dump at home, I don’t bother using toilet paper. Instead, I get my clothes off and hop into the shower, after shaking the “klingons” loose from myself of course. Being a strict vegetarian, I rarely get those sticky turds. Anyway, I position myself so that the shower spray hits my ass. Fortunately, the drain has no strainer or pop-up stopper. I prefer that method of tidying up because I find wiping with paper irritating. Also, I’d like to know what kinds of foods are ideal for preventing the “call of nature” at times where it may prove embarrassing.

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