To Abbie : Love the stories - keep them coming!
To Jasmin K: Love the stories - what's the biggest turd you've ever done?
I'm quite a big girl, 19.5 stone with curves and a big round bum. I had been constipated recently, and hadn't been for a poo in 3 days. Last night I was determined to get some relief. I left my boyfriend watching TV and went upstairs.
I took a book into the bathroom, lowered my red knickers and sat down. I peed a little and sat back on the toilet and read my book. Four or five minutes, nothing had happened. I was beginning to feel a little frustrated as I just wanted some relief so began to push slowly nnnnn nnnn nnnn. I sat back and continued to read.
At this point I heard the stairs creak and move a closer towards to the bathroom door. I knew then my boyfriend was listening to me!
I could feel the turd trying to come so after I while I increased my efforts nnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn bearing down slightly harder each time, but still this hard mass didn't move. I was trying to stay quiet as I knew he was outside and I felt a little embarrassed. I out my book down and placed my feet around the toilet and began to strain quietly again nnnnnnnn nnnn nnnn and slowly I felt the turd begin to move. I adjusted myself and kept pushing nnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnn as this hard mass began to poke out of my hole.
Or so I thought-it then suddenly just stopped.
By now I just didn't care about my boyfriend and I just had to get this turd out of me. I began to strain harder and louder nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pushing until I was red in the face as this faecal mass began to stretch my bum cheeks apart. Come On Come On I panted, and grunted harder again as finally the turd fell into the toilet with a splash.
Aggh!!!!! I muffled as I regained my composure. I had completely forgotten about my boyfriend being outside.
All of a sudden I cramped up a little as I farted and a mass of lighter, softer poo fell from my bum. I couldn't help but sigh aghh at my relief!
I wiped up and flushed, and as I did I heard steps move away from the bathroom.
I went back downstairs and asked about the TV programme, which my boyfriend did not answer very convincingly, little did I know about his escapade listening to my little one!!
Reply to weird guyI enjoy the feeling of going for one and that awesome feeling as the poo is escaping from my butt, also the smell is kind of a big thing that gets me excited, i love wiping muddy poos its like it will never end lol.
what does everyone enjoy more, pooping or wiping your but? for me, I look forward to a nice dump
So today my mom amd I wrre hugging, and during the hug we both farted at the same time. Our farts were the same sound, same length, same everything. We instantly started laughing, and my mom laughed so hard that she peed!
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Guys sometimes have to sit down too!I just got back from a trip down to London, and had a bit of a weird experience. I'd grabbed fast food for dinner along the way, and not really had much to wash it down with. Even after an hour or so, I could still taste it in my mouth, and I wasn't feeling particularly full, so I stopped into a dessert parlour. I had the most delicious sundae, which perfectly solved the mouth issue. As I was finishing, however, I felt a new issue. I'm not usually lactose intolerant, but the large amount of cold, creamy goodness didn't seem to be quite so good with my stomach, especially combined with the earlier junk food. My stomach cramped up and told me I had to go. I got up and headed for the corridor at the back. I found the loos, and went inside, to be astonished with 3 urinals and no sit down toilet! What was I supposed to do? I backed out of the room and surveyed my other options. There was a disabled cubicle, but it was showing locked. I hadn't seen anyone else go back here, so I guessed it was out of order. I didn't know where my next viable toilet stop would be, so my only remaining option was the girls room. There wasn't a staff member to be seen, so I quickly ducked inside. 2 cubicles, one locked. I took the available one. It was pretty disgusting, with sanitary waste on the floor and piss all over the seat (can't you girls just sit down instead of hovering?), but I really needed to go, so I wiped it off and sat down. A bunch of fluffy, barely formed shitballs rushed out. I could hear someone next door fumbling with the paper - I hoped she hadn't heard. I finished up as she was still washing her hands, but I stayed in the cubicle to try to come out when noone was watching. However, that wasn't happening. The door opened again and a bunch of ladies came in chatting. I heard a comment about the other cubicle being blocked, so they were clearly waiting for me. Panicking, I decided I'd have to push past. I put up my coat hood, so that maybe they wouldn't realise I was a man straight away, flushed, and opened the door. I pushed past, not stopping to wash my hands, grabbed my stuff and made a quick exit before I got any abuse. I found the next place I could to wash my hands and calm down a bit.
I was considering writing them a complaint on TripAdvisor, but it's a rather embarrassing experience I'd really rather not have on my account, so I found this site instead.
Pooping LessonsI expect I am older than many followers of this site and have had more shits...had more wees...sat on more public toilets etc....more constipation but minimal diarrhea, some bladder and bowel incontinence and all this amounts to experience.
I think the first lesson in good bowel and bladder management is to enjoy it!!! If you do not like having a poo then you are behind (forgive the pun) from the beginning.
Also how relaxing it is to empty a very full bladder!!!
For those that have difficulty with such a concept try having a poo when nobody is around and you have ample time.
Do you not feel better??
My favorite BMs are when I pass a real lot and have plenty of time to sit on the pot....usually it may take many minutes but the feeling of sweet relief is so wonderful.
Yesterday, I had three better than average movements all in the morning...only one small movement so far today. I have no guaranteed regularity...a couple of days without shit and I make up for it the following day....I am use to and accept this
Hope I can be of some help...
More next time.