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Lorenz

Most embarrassing moments

In Language Arts, the two days before Christmas vacation, we did impromptu speeches. They had to be 3 to 5 minutes long. Our name would be called and we drew our topic from an envelope that had five topics on little slips. Then we had 5 minutes to prepare our speech before giving it to the class. Both me and my student partner Mandy drew the "My most embarrassing moment..." topic. Unfortunately, I was chosen for the first speech. She spoke about 5th or 6th.

So I talked about finding the bathroom for my first bowel movement in middle school, finding no available stalls for like three passing periods, having to sign out of class to do it and then to find all the seats to be dripping from urine. That gave Mandy the idea for hers. The girls rooms have those 4 by 4" pieces of toilet paper, pre-cut, you have to pull down to use. I think she exaggerated a bit but she started to leak before she could get the pieces of toilet paper lined up and staying on the toilet seat before she sat down. Our student teacher, who is female, seemed to be more empathetic to Mandy's more descriptive speech as did the girls in the class. Mandy got an A. I got a B.


Jimmy
A few days ago, at the bus stop (heading towards my job) i saw a lady walking with a few male and female friends, and, as they passed the bus and continued on, i noticed that lady, in blue pants (jeans, i think) started to walk funny. It was obvious she pooped her pants, because she was walking as if she, welll, had so mething in the back of her pants, almost skipping. It was hilarious and a bit of a turn on.

The next day, there was an attractive brunete woman with gray leggings on, and she was at the suntrust bank in my store. It seemed she had to pee, as she kept dancng from leg to leg, and even walking a short distance every few secs, and then crossing her legs as if trying to hold on. I had to continue working, and turned around, only to fi d that she had left and i lost track of her. But i had heard later that someone peed all over the bathroom floor, and guessed it must have been her.

There was also another woman, at my store today, with black leggings and a tan jacket, that seemed to be figeting. When i had passed her (she was with a female friend) i noticed a smell almost like garbage....thay smell like someone had been turtle heading for a while.


Jessica

After bunch relief

Hi everyone!

I haven't posted in a very long time because university keeps me so busy. Anyway, the semester ended now, I have less projects and a little more time to share with you.

These events happened on Saturday just before Christmas. I had been working on a small project with 4 colleagues this semester and we finally handed it in last week. Because we all were very happy to be done with it, we wanted to celebrate before leaving town for Christmas holidays.

We decided to go for brunch together, as two of my project buddies do not like going out, partying and getting drunk that much. I probably should start by presenting them, at least the two you don't know yet; the two other ones are my friends Katya and Mark, who I already mentioned on page 2580. I did th project with Rebeka, who is a plump blond girl, very intelligent, funny and probably one of the nicest persons I know. She always is in a good mood and good fun to hang out with. The fourth of my teammates is Evelyn, she's also smart, but always very busy because of her training schedule (she is very good at athletics and has to attend many competitions). This is also why she doesn't like going out at night a lot, just like Katya. So we decided to meet at nine o'clock at a nice new coffee place in the center of the town. I was the only one on time and ordered myself a cup of coffee, but then the others joined quickly.

The place was busy, which is no wonder because the food was excellent. We had pancakes, bread, eggs, bacon, various pies, fruit salad, and lots of other delicious treats. Of course, we also had plenty of drinks: coffee, tea, orange juice. I really enjoyed the moment even tough the place is so small, it quickly becomes noisy. We chatted about our plans for Christmas, how happy we were to be rid of the project, made fun of our colleagues and just had a great time.

Of course, those of you who read my previous posts already know where this story is going: my first meal of the day, especially when served with coffee, wakes up my bowels. This is true especially when I can relax, like a Sunday morning, on holidays or in this case, after not having to worry about the project anymore. But I was not the first one excuse myself to the restroom: shortly after we all finished our plates, Katya excused herself and left the table. However, she came back a few seconds later, explaining: "There is queue for the restroom. I'll make another run in a minute."

After a few minutes chatting, she stood up again and headed to the restroom. By then, I definitely could feel something going on in my own belly too, this well-known fullness. I was a little fidgety, and my bowels were heavy. Worse, I usually start passing gas at this point, which was obviously totally impossible being with friends in a public place. I knew I could not wait longer (because of maybe having to wait in the queue for a few more minutes), although it is awkward when several people leave the table together to go to the toilet. So I swallowed my pride and told the others: "Guys, I also have to go to the toilet, I'll be right back!" And then, the awkward thing happened: "So do I!" exclaimed Rebeka. In my mind, I was "Oh my God, why is she doing this, can't she see the situation is already weird enough when two people leave the table at the same time?" But there is nothing I could do, because saying "Well, I am not going after all." would not have helped a single bit, but also because I really had to relieve myself. So shaking my head very lightly, I stood up, followed by Rebeka. Neither Mark nor Evelyn commented, which saved me lots of embarrassment.


We walked into the ladies and I was pleasantly surprised there was no queue anymore. There was definitely a poop smell in the air, a woman in her thirties was washing her hands at the sink and someone was just locking one of the two stalls. Rebeka was telling me about some guy she met a party the previous week, but I have to admit I wasn't really listening as I was a little stressed by her presence and by my urge. I could not tell whether the girl that just entered the stall (and by the sounds, who was lining TP on the seat) was Katya, or if she was in the stall already in use. The other woman was peeing loudly and as soon as her stream died off, she wiped once, flushed and exited the stall; it was a lady in her forties, so Katya would be using the stall next to mine.

I immediately entered the stall, locked the door and made sure the seat was clean. Sure it was, but there was a little brown streak at the bottom of the bowl, probably left there by the user preceding the middle-aged woman. That did not bother me at all, what's important to me is that the parts I am in direct contact with (the seat, the handle or the flush lever) are clean. Two "plops" resonated in Katya's stall. She surely was in a hurry!

I sat down and relaxed, immediately letting an airy fart slip out my bottom. I wished badly Rebeka wouldn't be in the room witnessing everything! Knowing her, she'd even dare teasing us about it, which I clearly cannot stand. More pooping sounds came from Katya's stall, as my anus opened to let my first turd through. Because my first log apparently was slightly dry an knobby, passing it hurt me a little. From the impression I had, I'd say it was 8-10 centimeters long but pretty wide. I don't like this gritty feeling on my stretched ring but it was a big relief to get all this waste out of my body.

Breathing heavily, I let time to the next log to get ready, as I knew I wasn't done yet. Katya definitely was adding to the smell, the poop she was passing had a sweet, ripe smell, way worse than mine! Hers was probably of the mushy type.

Soon enough, my rectum filled up again, and with a light push, I expelled two smoother larger logs. That was great! They plopped into the water without outrageous noise, which was even better. The relief was huge. I'd have loved to sit there longer and enjoy the post-poop sitting, but as Rebeka was waiting, I decided to leave. So I wiped just twice, it was an unusually clean session, and flushed. Fixing my clothing, I had a look at the bowl: there were two massive brown skid marks, one at the bottom and one on the side. But when I was about to reach for the toilet brush, well, there was no brush! Because there was nothing I could do (just as with the rich smell I also left behind), I decided to leave the stall quickly and pretend I did not notice.

Of course, Rebeka was waiting right by the door. She has has no understanding for people who have higher privacy needs than hers. As I was exiting the stall, just passing the door, she was already moving in. I could not tell whether she also had an urgent need or if she was just being impatient. I went to the sink and washed my hands with lots of foamy soap. When I walked out, I could still hear Rebeka peeing and Katya pulling off TP from the roll. I was happy to be the first one to get back to Mark and Evelyn, so I don't obviously appear to be the pooper although I spent quite some time on the toilet. We were soon joined by Katya and then by Rebeka. Soon afterwards, we payed and left the place. I had a thought for the janitor who would have to clean the bowl I used, and I was also sure Katya's performance caused quite some damage to the shiny porcelain. I hope they will install toilet brushes soon, we'd all be better off!

I spent Christmas at my parents' and took and unexpected snow dump as I was jogging. Not much more to report! Thank you to everyone making this board so friendly.

Love,
Jess


Brandon T

comments & stuff

To: Annie looks like coffee does a good job with curing constipation.

To: Kristen great story it sounds like you both had great poops.

To: Shelby great story.

Well thats all for now.

Sincerely Brandon T

PS. I love this site


Thursday, January 05, 2017


Annie (Anny)

Diarrhea after black coffee

Hi everyone on ToiletStool :)I hope everyone had a good, fun and safe New Years. I had a pretty quiet one, but that's OK. I got up around 10 or 10:30 this morning, went to the washroom, etc then immediately went downstairs for some coffee. There was some leftover in the pot so instead of tossing it out, I poured it into a cup and reheated it and drank it. Then afterwards I made a fresh pot and had a cup from that along with a (reusable) bottle of water. Soon afterwards I felt the urge for a fairly loose poop, so I immediately went to the washroom to have my morning poop.

I pulled down my sweats and purple underwear and sat down. I relaxed and immediately, a torrent of loose poop came out. Not really diarrhea, but very soft, mushy crap brought on by the black coffee (which I now drink and enjoy, when I used to hate it). It only took a couple of minutes before I was finished. I lifted my butt slightly off the seat after I was finished and peeked into the toilet to see. What a mess! It looked like an explosion of mud everywhere in the toilet. Still, I'll prefer mushy crap anyday over constipation. And with my current, healthy diet along with lots of water and some black coffee (not too much though), it makes my poops a lot easier to pass, with no straining or pain. Wiping was a messy job and required 4-5 wipes, but that's OK. Afterwards I flushed the toilet and that was that. I pulled up my clothes afterwards, washed my hands and rehydrated with more water.

Happy pooping everyone!

Annie


Brandon T

comments & stuff

To: MyndBlown great story it sounds like you had a great poop and they did as well.

To: Danielle well now you know what pineapple will do to you.

Well thats all for now.

Sincerely Brandon T

PS. I love this site


MikeyPee

Re: The Listening Ear - Phantom Poo

Hi !

I live in America and I've had this happen to me: both the disappearing log (stool) and clean toilet paper upon wiping. In fact, I think I posted about it here several years ago.

I think you're onto something regarding the density or weight of the poop. But, I suspect that the stool is very dry, e.g., very little water content, hence no fecal material accumulates on the inside of the buttocks as the BM occurs and the toilet paper is clean upon wiping. As a youngster, I always had dry, hard bowel movements and the toilet paper was always relatively clean after wiping.

Note to Catherine: If you're still reading, congratulations on your marriage and pregnancy. Best wishes for the future.

Happy New Year to everyone !


Anonymous

Weird

My ex boyfriend and I were at my parents' house one day and I had to pee. Since my parents were safely downstairs, I invited him into the bathroom with me to keep me company. We'd only been together about a month and before now every time I'd peed in front of him i was buzzed, but this time we were both sober. I pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet without thinking much of it. As I started peeing I looked up at my ex who was quietly watching interestedly from across the room. A few seconds passed with him just looking at me while I continued peeing and I figured he wanted to start chatting but felt shy and didn't know what to say. But I was wrong because next thing i knew he had crossed the room and was right in front of the toilet where I was still peeing and was full on kissing me. I was totally taken by surprise but in no position to object so I just went with it while I was still peeing away. The kiss itself wasn't bad but it was weird hearing my stream in the background. Especially when a few seconds later when I realized i was done peeing and he was still mid-kiss. Overall I'd say it was fun to try, but probably wouldn't do it again. When I asked he said he was able to block out what I was doing butt I found it difficult to do as the one peeing and would much rather just chat.


KungPoo

Reponse

Hi Cley,

Yes, it was nice to help Cindy. I think it's more the case of being so used to the gap she's unaware.

Hi Brandon T, glad you like my stories.


Sarah H.
BabyDoll- Let me just say, that story of your poor boyfriend has to be one of the best stories i have read to this date on ToiletStool. Please share more!!


Mary

Update about Katie's pooping habits

A few months back, I posted here because I was considered that my daughter was pooping only once every 4 or 5 days. Well, after reading all the responses I got here, I talked with Katie again and we discussed some of the responses I'd received. She told me that she does get constipated during her period. She said that one month she didn't poop for nine days. She also confirmed that she does sometimes feel full and bloated before she poops, although not every time.

We both decided it would be a good idea to work on our diets. I asked around and looked online and created a new diet plan for us as a family (Katie's father left before she was born) that would hopefully be much healthier than the way we'd been eating before. We also wanted to make sure we drank enough water.

We've been on the diet for nearly two months now and it seems to be working very well. Up until now, I'd pretty much always been a once-a-day pooper, but now I'm going two or three times every day. I feel much better after I poop now too. Before, I always felt like there was some poop left inside me after I'd "finished." I also feel like I have more energy, too.

As for Katie, she's now pooping about every other day, but she says she still goes about the same amount as before. She noted the same thing I did, that she feels more "empty" now after pooping, and has more energy. She also no longer feels bloated before pooping and, while she still gets a bit constipated during her period, it's not nearly as bad.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys an update on our situation. Thanks a lot for all the advice. I really appreciate it!


oldpoop

to The Listening Ear

Enjoyed your post; however, you may be happy to learn that we in the USA occasionally also have "ghost poops." I have had them--not often, to be sure--both at home and away from home, leaving me disappointed, for I like to see what I have done. Lately, my movements emerge in more than one piece. I can count the pieces by the plops; but then, rarely, I see fewer pieces in the bowl, meaning one or more pieces has gone deeper into the plumbing than I can see.

Sheelee

Sledding Memories

For Christmas, I had my mom locate my old sled that I had used back in the '90s. I just loved sledding back then and in my later grade school years and throughout junior high a group of us would spend six and even seven hours a day on the hills of our local park. Once we started to babysit and earn our own money, we would use it to get lunch at a McDonalds-type place near the park. We just enjoyed being out on our own instead of in school and we made so many friends from other schools and parishes outside our part of the city. That's how I met my first real boy friend. His name was Chadd. We were both in 9th grade. But at different schools so we looked forward to snow days as well as vacations such as Christmas. One day, the day of Christmas eve, Chadd and I met up at the pavillon about 9. He borrowed his family's toboggan; I had my sled. After a couple of hours with other friends, who were required to go home for lunch and to warm up, I was waiting for Chadd to need to go to the bathroom. I sure had to, but he would tease me about my teeny bladder, so I didn't want to bring the subject up. It wasn't what I was expecting, but Chadd said the last fall, roll and slide he had done had opened his chute. So we walked around to the basement level of the building. We had used the bathrooms there many times. I thought they were kind of dirty but when I thought of what we were forced to use at school, they were cleaner.

So we walked to Chadd's bathroom. Unlike other times, the lights were completely out and sure enough the door was locked. He was starting to panic, saying he had to dump right there. I was going to make a joke about just squatting over and blaming it on a dog. He didn't appreciate that. Since there weren't any others close to us, he said he was going to shit in the girls room. I went ahead of him, checked under each of the three panel doors for legs, and told him it was all clear. He literally ran, I heard the door bounce against the panel and I stood in the doorway to keep the others out. I'm not a good judge of time, but I remember walking in and telling him I had to wee so bad I was about to explode. He was on the middle toilet. I checked the toilets on each side of him and they were far grosser than anything I had used at school. Finally, Chadd opened the door, grabbed me by the coat, and pulled me in. He told me I could sit with him and save an accident. His jeans, boxers and boots were at floor level as he slid back pretty far on the seat. This gave me adequate space to sit between his legs. My deluge started immediately as I quietly told him I couldn't believe I was actually doing what we were doing. His organ was getting harder and I could feel it brush against my tailbone. He made two big splashes into the toilet and my pee was furious for well over a minute and a half. I slid myself as far to the front as I could and still keep my pee going into the toilet bowl.

After we got done I told him I wanted to take a selfie of the bowl and what the two of us contributed to it. I did and as he was wiping, I went over to the sink to wash my hands. He was walking to the exit when I called him over and told him I didn't want to be sharing food with him at McDonalds if he had dirty hands. He washed them, but didn't seem to like me watching him that closely. I looked at the toilet and he hadn't flushed it. So I did. Then we walked about four blocks to McDonalds for lunch. Yesterday, I took my 6-year-old daughter Darcee and her 8-year-old brother Kellan sledding. However I walked them back home for lunch.


>

Kristen

Buddy Dump

Hi, I stumbled across this site a while back and enjoy checking in from time to time. My story took place a week or two ago right before Christmas.

I moved away from my parents a year or so ago about an hour away for a new job. The day before Christmas Eve I was going to drive back to spend Christmas with my family. I usually have a pretty good dump after waking up, but for whatever reason I could not go that morning. I could tell I needed to, but I couldn't get anything out but a few hard pebbles. I didn't think too much of it and figured it would come out when ready. I left for the drive home and stopped and got coffee for the drive. About halfway though the drive I felt the urge to pee. I also let several farts that were pretty bad. I knew I was going to need a toilet soon, but since I was only about 20 minutes away I would just wait, as I knew I could make it.

My mom was working that day and I told her I would stop by and say hi before going out to the house. When I walked in she was by the door she saw me and came over and we hugged and talked for a minute. I told her I needed to use the bathroom. She said she needed to go as well and followed me into the bathroom. The women's bathroom is really small, it's just wide enough for two stalls and then there is one sink across.

We each took a stall and I sat and started peeing. I heard a pretty loud splash which I would imagine was from a pretty large turd. She sighed and said "Finally" I asked what exactly she meant. She said, "That's been in me all morning, I was on the toilet for probably 15 minutes before I left the house this morning, I could tell I needed to go but couldn't." I started to laugh and she asked why is that funny. I told her it was because I had the exact same problem. I could tell I needed to go before I left this morning as well, but wasn't able to go until now. We both kinda laughed and said what I coincidence it was.

By this point I had dropped 3 or 4 fairly soft turds. Mom was washing her hands and then left. I finished and it took quite a bit of wiping. By this time, that poor little bathroom smelled really bad. I washed my hands quick and left. Just a minute or so later I saw some old lady walk in the bathroom, I got a chuckle as I knew it still must have smelled pretty gross in there.


Imogen

NYE pre-emptive squat, and a funny accident

I went out with some friends on New Year's Eve, they live near the top of a hill in the suburbs so we sat on the roof of their flat and watched the fireworks at midnight. I had to catch two night buses to get home, total of about 90 minutes. I had a wee before leaving their flat, and took the first bus which was just under an hour. As I'd been drinking a lot that evening, I felt a slight need for a wee again. There was a 10 minute wait for the next bus, so I walked down the road, into a quiet alleyway, pulled up my skirt and coat, tights and knickers (red with white polka dots!) down, and had a wee. I was sure that if I hadn't had this 'pre emptive' wee, I'd have been desperate later on!

I've posted elsewhere that I've had a fair few 'near misses' and I don't think I'm alone in that, definitely as a girl. Obviously, it's not something you really discuss with friends though! If I'm really desperate, I'll find myself starting to leak/dribble into my knickers as I'm on the way to the loo. I've had a few bigger accidents, and one full-blown time that I wet myself, and one time when I poo'd.

The full-blown wetting is something which I laugh at now, but was mortifying at the time.

This was when I was 15 and living at home. It had been a home clothes day at school and I was wearing jeans and a top, as it was summer that was pretty much it. Also, as it was summer, I'd been drinking a lot of water. After school, I really needed a wee, but stood chatting with my group of friends until it was time for the bus home. This bus took about 30-40 minutes, and by the time I got back to the area we lived, I was really quite desperate.

Now I'll need to briefly describe our house to you, as you come in the front door there are the stairs, which are steep and curve sharply. At the top of these stairs is the bathroom and my parent's bedrooms, and up another flight of stairs was mine and my sister's bedrooms. On the ground floor right at the back is a second loo, behind the kitchen. I got home, dumped my school bag by the front door, locked it behind me, then tore up the stairs, to find the bathroom door locked. My mum shouted that she was in the bathroom getting ready, and I realised that she was going out for dinner that evening so had obviously come home early to get ready. Damn! I was bursting, so decided to go to the loo at the back of the house, which I normally avoid (spiders!). I turned around to go back down the stairs, slipped on a magazine which had been left on the landing, then slid down the stairs on my front. I can still remember the feeling now, every step passed me by in a wave and seemed to attack my bladder, and after a couple of them the shock and pressure resulted in my bladder just seeming to give up and release. I was, however, head-first and I could feel the warmth pushing out into my knickers, then dribbling all over the front of my jeans. I landed at the bottom of the stairs mid-wee, and stood up, still weeing in my jeans. I finished there and wondered what on earth I should do. I checked the stairs and there wasn't any sign on them of the accident I'd had, so I turned around and went upstairs to my room. I was mortified by what had happened and worried that my mum would find out.

Back in my room I stood there looking lost and surveyed myself in my full-length mirror. There was a wet patch all over my crotch, but it was upside-down, because of how I'd fallen. Just then, my mum shouted that she was going out and would be back later that night. I breathed a sigh of relief as I'd managed to avoid actually seeing her. Once her car was off the drive (I made sure by looking out the window) I carefully undid my jeans and looked at my knickers (white/pink stripey), which had a similar wet patch, I peeled them off as well. Knowing my mum was out to meet my dad and my sister was away at uni, I went down to the bathroom without any bottoms on, to have a wee and shower. I did the laundry and nobody was ever the wiser.

Has anybody else had an accident that, looking back, is quite amusing?!




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