Victoria B.
Near-miss final
Hey!
So I've been cutting it pretty close lately and narrowly escaped yet another accident. I have a few replies before that story.
To Romain: Merci pour vos paroles gentilles. C'est un plaisir de vous rencontre !
To Catherine: No doubt about it, Jane sounds like "one of us." Looks like you've found a great future mother-in-law to go with your awesome fiancé!
To Mina: You're such a sweet, loving person. I can feel it from all the way across the Pacific Ocean. But yeah, that toilet paper was the worst! It was like the stuff we had in my elementary school (grades K-5, at least where I grew up) and it brought back unpleasant memories of the sore butt it gave me when I'd have to use what seemed like half the roll to wipe my front and rear. They buy that cheap stuff (I hesitate to even call it toilet paper) to save money, but how much are they really saving when everybody needs to use so much of it to clean up once they've gone?
I had a final in my math class today. Math, if I could be said to have a "thing," is about as far from that thing as can be imagined. I needed to do well to maintain my grade in the class and so I couldn't just phone it in, no matter how strongly doing so appealed to me. I woke up at a ridiculously early hour to get some last-minute studying in and drank a bunch of coffee to make sure I stayed awake for the 9.00 AM final. It was the only one I had yesterday, which gave me the luxury of being able to go home and crash upon finishing the exam. Best laid plans o' mice and men...
I got to the classroom where the final was being held a few minutes early to stretch and acclimatize myself. I also finished my fifth and final cup of coffee for the day before going in. When the time came, I walked in and sat down, putting my hand up to be given the exam once I heard the clearly disinterested proctor say "Victoria Mylastname." The fated hour arrived and I started the exam. At first I felt dazed and overwhelmed, again being very far from my element. After ten minutes or so and the first couple of problems, I finally got into something like a groove and began to feel as comfortable as I could in such a situation. While this was happening, however, I received a loud knock on my backdoor that got my full attention. The time to get on a toilet would have to be as soon as I finished my exam without the slightest delay. Now, on top of the low-sleep final in a class I did not particularly enjoy, I had to worry about holding everything in between a full-to-the-brim pair of cheeks. I had my lucky underwear on (orange and magenta striped boyshorts) and an accident could not have been risked.
I returned to the exam with all this in mind. It seemed like there were so many questions left: how was I going to get out of there and onto a stool in time to preserve said lucky undies? That thought was what finally pushed me over the top. I got into some kind of cosmic zone where everything suddenly made sense and the answers gushed from my pencil. Another twenty minutes... And I was done! Straightening my glasses, picking up my bag and almost tripping on my way out of my desk, I somehow stumbled to the front of the room and handed over the exam and my answer sheet. It was time to get to the nearest women's room, and fast. As luck would have it, the one literally 200 feet from the classroom where I had my final was closed for cleaning. Predictable. I rolled my eyes and ran to the union because I didn't know this particular building really at all. It was a near-sprint and the words "Save the panties!" echoed through my head the entire time. I was on a mission and failure was not an option. Up one last set of stairs and I finally dashed into the bathroom on the second floor. I got the only open stall, locked it, hung my bag up on the hook, and tore my clothes down to my calves before taking a seat.
My first piece was on deck and needed little in the way of encouragement to make its way to the water and porcelain below. It felt big, but my domed-out ring was more than up to such a pleasant-feeling task. It hit the deck with the kind of quiet plop that only a huge log makes and I could tell right away that it was a stinker. I turned around and flushed, the sound of my bladder releasing camouflaged by the near-jet engine level volume of the flush. The sensation of water rushing beneath only encouraged me to continue the performance, and it did with two medium-sized turds that fell one right after the other. Sploosh! Ka-plop! A flush from the stall next to me came, followed by a healthy fart. I let one go myself, hoping that she'd hear it and feel a little less self-conscious. We all go and there's no need to feel ashamed about it our the way our bodies work.
Somehow I still wasn't empty. I found that I had one final log left, pooped it, and then got to wiping. I got my front and chucked the paper between my legs. It was at this point that I heard a knock on my stall. "Ugh. This is so awkward, but there's no paper in my stall. Could you hand me some, please?" I tore off a generous amount, knowing that she had also just had a number two, and passed it under the partition. "You're a sweetheart!" was her whispered response, augmented by the familiar sound of paper between cheeks. "Can I get a little more?" Of course she could. I handed it over and she finished her last bit of wiping before a flush and the sound of her getting dressed again could be heard. At last, it was time to take care of my own bum. I grabbed some more and slid forward on the seat. Reaching behind, I carefully worked it front-to-back through my butt and over my hole. I gave the hole a second wipe, followed by another handful for either cheek. Mission accomplished. I flushed, returned my clothes to their normal positions, and went to wash my hands. The girl in the next stall was no longer there, but that didn't matter. I'll help anyone who finds themselves in jam with panties down on the pot. I felt about five pounds lighter walking home. Upon arrival, I beached myself on the couch and proceeded to sleep for about the next six hours. It was fan-tastic.
Love, VictoriaBrandon T
comments & stuff
To: Ellison great story.
To: Catherine great story it sounds like she really had to poop and I bet she felt pretty good afterwards and I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Trucker Girl first welcome to the site and great story it sounds like you and those other women had great poops and I wonder how full that clogged toilet got before it was fixed and I look forward to anymore stories you may have thanks.
To: Marly great story.
To: Jemma as always another great desperate poop story.
Well thats all for now.
Sincerely Brandon T
PS. I love this siteCat
Survey n' Stuff
'Sup? It's Cat! I have a survey and an update. I finally talked to James today. He was a little uncomfortable, but he asked me if I wanted to go to Starbucks after school. I apologized and said that I have ballet (I can't miss it now! Performances are coming up!), but would he like to come to the performance on Saturday? He said he would. I have to be extra impressive as Myrtha.
Survey time!
1. Did you ever encounter a stall/stalls or a urinal that was locked/out of order?
When I was nine I had to go to the bathroom at ballet. I got weird looks because no one ever goes to the bathroom at ballet (you have to take off the leotard and tights and it's a big drag). The door said out of order, but sometimes it says that just to get girls to not lurk in there until barre is over. So I went in. Ever hear the story of the Boy who Cried Wolf? Someone had obviously gotten sick, because the sink was full of diarrhea. There was a path of watery poop to the toilet, and there was poop on the tank and all around the seat.
2. Did you ever get locked out of your house and you had to go #1 or #2? What did you do?
No.
3. Did you ever have an accident in a car? (Yours' or someone else's car)?
I peed myself on a road trip when I was six.
4. Describe your school bathrooms and do you use them?
My school bathrooms are simple, with three sinks and three stalls (one handicapped and two cramped). They don't have toilet seat covers, which I hate. My ballet bathroom (only one) is individual and co-ed, with a sink and a toilet and a tampon machine.
5. What time(s) of the day do you normally go poop?
About 8 PM.
6. Do you eat foods or do other activities that help you stay "regular"?
For breakfast every single day I have a banana and a smoothie (I make a large batch every Sunday evening and freeze em' in individual cups). For lunch I have a sandwich and a granola bar. For dinner I usually have some kind of meat and vegetables, and toast if Mom forgot about carbs. On special occasions I will get pizza. My poop stays about the same, except for when I am sick.
7. Do you have trouble pooping when your somewhere else instead of home?
Just in porte-potties.
8. Did you ever take a laxative, suppository, enema, etc. to help you if you were ever constipated? My mom made me take an enema once. I was very constipated and I did not poop for days and I was complaining of stomach aches. One day, while my sister was at her friend's house and my brother was at a baseball game with my dad, she took me to the bathroom and told me to strip. I was 12 at the time. She applied it, and told me to wait for five minutes. It was the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of my life. It didn't quite hurt, but that did't make it any better.
9. Do your parents or friends know that you post on here?
Sarah and Amy know. No one else.
10. What is your most embarrassing "bathroom related" story?
See my Nutcracker story.Steve A
To Trucker Girl (Question)
Welcome to the site. I also like to show off my poop as well, as long if it's a good one, like a long log. I actually did one today in my high school bathroom and it was a good one.
Did you ever show off your poop in school? Did you hear or notice any reactions? And what inspired you to not flush after every time you poop?
Sonya Sue
Testing and bodily functions
On several days this year, my school has had a special testing schedule. These are all from a group of standardized tests that all students are required to take and since the results are reported to the government, they are debated in the media, and somewhat are used to judge how good our teachers are. On the Friday before the most important tests, we even had an all-school pep rally and several rules were discussed by our principal because our school is judged by our city and state depending on how we do. I didn't pay much attention to them because I was with my drama and music friends and I feel I have a really good attitude toward school.
On the morning of our first testing day, my mom laid out the list of rules the principal had sent home. I glanced over them, didn't think too much about them because I had had a decent night's sleep, was eating breakfast and I knew the testing room I was assigned to and the names of my two proctors. I was running about 10 minutes late so I didn't go the bathroom for my usual needs after breakfast. I knew I could stop in the bathroom at school before the test, see some friends and everything would work out fine. However, when I got there, lines were stringing into each of the hallways on each floor. So I realized I wouldn't be getting on the toilet before the test began. A PA system announcement and bell interrupted everything and we all reported to our designated rooms. About an hour into our first test I started to feel the pain in my bladder. I saw a break was scheduled in 35 minutes and was hopeful that I could hold it. Luckily the test was language arts (my strongest subject) but my pain and anxiety was starting to take over. I was done with my test and had to sit quietly for the remaining 25 minutes when I raised my hand and told my teacher. She took out her phone, walked out into the hallway for a moment, and then came back in. She told me I would have to be escorted to the bathroom and back and that some volunteer from the PTA or a security guard would be coming in. The wait seemed a lot longer than I'm sure it was. I was worried about the others seeing me taken out and more realistically tinkling in my underwear as I got out of my desk.
Finally, a female guard came to the room and motioned me to leave. At the door, she stopped me, scanned my ID card into her system and then escorted me down to the nearest bathroom. It was like kindergarten all over again. I asked if we could walk faster because I was about to burst and she started to lecture me about my not planning ahead. I was in too much pain to debate. Finally, we reached the bathroom and she took me in. We were standing in front of a large line of toilets and she told me to stop. She opened a stall door, checked out the walls carefully and even looked at the inside of the door. It was like she was looking for answers to be written there. Finally she motioned for me to go in and to hurry up because the waiting list was four deep. I pulled my jeans and underwear down and put my butt on the black seat. Of course, I was nervous, embarrassed, and still in a lot of pain. To make matters worse, I couldn't get my stream going. It so frustrated me. After I saw her peek in on me a third time, I apologized for the time I was taking. She said it was all part of her $12 for that hour. That caught me off guard and made me laugh. Just as I was starting to imagine how doctors might pump pee out of a person in such a situation, the dam opened and I felt relief slowly coming. I could see the security guard pacing in front of my stall, but once she heard the noise I was confident she knew I just wasn't faking it to get a break from the test.
I felt so relieved as I finished. I flushed, opened the door, and asked the guard who looked quite impatient whether there was time for me to wash my hands. She gave me a big icy-stare look so I just turned and we returned to the classroom. Again, she asked for my card and she scanned it. The screen flashed that I had been gone 19 minutes. I thanked her and just as I sat down at my desk, the testing time ended. I could see several students move out fast for a chance of getting into a bathroom during the next 10 minutes. Two and a half hours later we had a lunch break. Others went through the cafeteria lines and ate first. As for me, I went to the bathroom first, got a toilet with a minimal wait, and both peed and crapped. I told my mom about my day that evening and she said she was confident that I had learned my lesson. I knew I had too.
Wednesday, May 04, 2016
Romantic Dump
Survey crazy
Hi yall,
Thought I would give a go at filling in a survey hope its a good read :)
My answers to:-
The Pooing Survey.
1. Do you enjoy pooing
A) More than anything else, the more desperate and the bigger the dump the better.
2. Fave position whilst pooing.
A) Sitting
3. Do you get Stomach Aches and if so how severe?
A) Very rarely will I get a stomach ache only if I'm ill
4. How many times do you poo?
A) Once a day sometimes twice
5. Longest time taken pooing?
A) An hour, though I cant say I was pooping the entire time but had to fit in some me time too ;)
6. Do u find pooing relaxing.
A) Dropping a load can be one of the most relieving things to do, particularly after a hard day I would have to say its very relaxing for me
7. Do u make grunting noises while
Pushing?, do you yell in pain if it hurts?
A) No, I never grunt but I do moan with relief after the ecstasy of dropping a massive turd!
8. How often do you get constipated?
A) I can count the number of times on 1 hand so I'd have to say no.
9. Longest time being constipated
A) 3 days at most, Im a once a day girl, it's more a problem to be holding it all in rather than pushing it out.
10. After constipation do you yell in relief
It has come out.
A) No
11. Do u have stomach aches when u can't poo
Severe?, how long do they last?
A) No
12. Gassy when pooing?
A) Occasionally, wish I was more gassy though.
13. Do u look forward to taking a dump?
A) Too much, knowing I'm holding in a massive shit is my biggest guilty pleasure. Just the anticipation of knowing I'm going to destroy the toilet public or private with my turds and perfume is a thrill.
14. Signs u need to poo
A) Usually my bum feels full first, followed by a tightness in the stomach and then farts.
15. Ever lie down after having a big poo.
A) Well if at home with hubby yes XD
16. Ever have to catch your breath whilst pooing?
A) Yes.
17. Do u prefer to be as long as u can whilst pooing
Or be as quick as u can?
A) I would love to poo for longer, but usually my load is in such a rush to leave it can range from 2 mins to 15mins
18. When constipated or having a hard time pooing
What do u do to relieve yourself.
A) Sit back in the seat, rather than at the front but there's not much else I can do.
19. Ever hurt so much you cried.
A) No.
20. How often do u have diarrhoea?
A) Again same as constipation rarely, though spicy food gives me the trots.
21. Do u push on your stomach to get poo out?,
A) No, its never occurred to me to do that.
22. Do u ever massage your stomach to help an
ache or help you poo?
A) Nah.
23. Do you feel comfortable having someone in
The bathroom to keep you company.
A) Depends on who it is, I love watching my hubby or having him watch me thats for sure. his face whilst I'm doing a poo dance in desperation and then releasing a massive dump is a picture I love his reaction.
24. How bad do your farts smell whilst pooing.
A) Less so then before I poo my pre poo farts are toxic.
25. Most you have pooed?
A) Well, one afternoon I was conducting interviews for some new employees and whilst getting through the last two candidates my stomach started to ache big, I lost focus on the candidates answers and started to sweat as my arse was full to the brim with a anaconda of a shit needing to be released. I could feel it was a massive poo and had nothing but the resistance of the chair to keep it in.
It was agony as my stomach cramped and my bum begged for me to get a toilet seat under my arse ASAP! I hurried the last candidate, they were terrible anyway and knew before anything else I had to take a shit. This was not one I could hold on to for hubby this had to come out before I shit my knickers.
I practically ran through to our executive bathroom with the click, clack of my heels on the marble floor and jumped in the first stall next to the door of the bathroom. It was at this point I started doing a poo dance as I pulled up my pencil skirt, c'mon I muttered my stomach was killing me and my bum was aching from holding back this log.
I dropped my thong to my ankles and sat down with utter relief, I savoured the moment just as I was about to release it all, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed an empty toilet roll holder. I nearly started to cry I was mere seconds away from getting some sweet relief and and end to the cramps and the aches I was feeling only to have to prolong that agony because I'd have to pick a different stall. I was so frustrated! I needed to let go now more than anything else, and because I was seated cutting short this shit to go to the stall next door was going to be an extreme test of my body and mind.
I managed to haul myself up my feet were aching at this point being in my heels all day, I dropped my skirt back down and was about to unlock the door when I couldn't hold back a loud ripe fart that filled the entire bathroom. I knew instantly I had to sit back down as this anaconda was making it's way out of my bum hole.
I rushed to pull my skirt back up and slammed my arse on to the toilet seat, right at this moment paper wasn't even a consideration, if i didn't have my bum on a seat I was about to shit all over the floor.
I sat down with my round rear and thighs over hanging the toilet seat as the most relieving and large poo of my life started to expand my hole. God did it stink, it was a steamer but I didn't care this huge solid snake of a shit was passing through my bum and it was extremely pleasurable, the instant relief that it brought from the cramping of my ???? and the aching of my arse and legs was indescribable.
The ecstasy I was in as it pushed through my bum was amazing coupled with the most satisfying and proud PLOP! to let everyone else know in the bathroom the scale of what I had just dropped.
And if I thought I was done after dropping that Goliath I was wrong, I evacuated another very loud audible raunchy fart that filled the air, it had that bass that lets you know its a poo fart and as soon as it stopped another solid turd rushed to be released, I did not push, yet nor did I hold back I rather savored the fact of having to pass this juicy large log. It dropped again with a resounding SPLASH! But I could feel I was not done yet, there was definitely one more turd that needed out.
The third and final turd was the smallest but still thick and solid like the rest it dropped with another relieving and satisfying PLOP! The toilet had been destroyed, I was high off the smell of the turds that were filling the toilet to full capacity. I didn't have any paper but I did not care I was euphoric and very proud that I had caused that stink and made that noise after having that poo.
It was at this point my wee started to tinkle into the toilet in a cute fashion. I couldn't have held this dump for hubby but that didn't stop me taking a pic on my phone of my thong round my ankles and heels to send to hubby guess what I'm doing?
He gathered I must have been very desperate if I couldn't hold it for him till I got back and enquired at how bad I had needed to go. Well the 2nd picture I sent him of the three turds that had completely filled the toilet left him in no doubt as to the severity of the situation. I took my thong off and pulled my skirt to move to another stall to wipe, I didn't flush as I wasn't sure if the poor toilet could handle it anyway but someone definitely got an eye full.
And to date thats my biggest dump, hope you enjoyed it I did :)Marly
Comments
Gerald: Thanks for commenting. It was my first post and I had no idea how it would come across
Morgan: You're my fave. Your stories are like raunchy, real and they come from a female perspective, but they are not a turn off. I often wonder like where does this happen when you tell a story.
Mina: I love your stories. They sound like storybook stories which I thought would be hard to do because of the ickyness of the subject. But somehow everything you say sounds peaceful and loving.
Romantic dump writer: I have been married for idk how many years and have yet to share dumps. I actually hide them at all costs. I find your relationship amazing!
Everyone: I grew up in a house where we weren't as blatant and would use flowery language to describe things. I don't ever even hearing my mom say the word period. We were in fact mildly scolded for saying words like fart or crap. So I still dont use them today verbally. Ironically, profanity was unheard of so I was never scolded for using it because it was simply unheard of. But boy oh boy when I discovered it, so I have 0 reservations about cussing like a sailor. Naturally, I don't, but I can! VICTORY!
Anyway, I appreciate the stories because really understanding that these things happen to everyone makes me feel better about doing "it."
Tip: If you're in public and are a bit embarrassed flush while its coming out to cover the noise and eliminate the smell immediately. Plus you won't clog the toilet of there is a lot more!Siford
Surveys answered & a new story
Tlana's questions:
1) Have you ever seen squatters in your school?
Yes, a couple of times. They are guys who have to crap at lunch time or later in the afternoon and each of the toilet seats is dripping from pee.
2) Were they peeing, pooping or both? Each was crapping.
3) Do you know why they do it? They don't want to sit in the pee of several guys.
4) Disadvantages? Many of the stalls have no doors so they are doing it with an audience. One guy was getting hassled pretty bad because he was having a full shit with large pieces that were splashing up on him as he squatted over.
5) Advantages? There's no contact with the seat.
6) Have I tried it? Yes, but my stance is unsteady and as I push I just give in and sit down on the seat.
Now the questions on urinals:
1) What design type of urinals give the users more privacy? The best urinals for privacy have a shape where the porcelain forms the urinal in a U-shaped type. That means there are sides on it that shield other's eyes from you and there's a u-shaped indention on the front that allows the user to place his chest up against the unit as he goes. That way there's less wandering eyes on your junk. A couple of years ago I walked in when older students were giving this much younger boy a hard time because he was pissing with both hands on his hose. He was crying and later got discouraged and ran out.
2) Why don't more schools provide these? They might be more expensive and can more easily be busted off the wall and cause a flood.
3) Is the "sissy" stereotype going away? No. There's a stigma for those of us who do not have the confidence to stand and go at the urinals. So whether we stand over a toilet and pee into it or if we seat ourselves on it, there's a hassle.
4) How is the 'germ phobia' issue dealt with? It is strange because a few of the guys wipe the seats before seating themselves. Some put a layer or two of toilet paper across the seat. One guy in my 2nd hour pulls of these brown paper towels, puts about six of them over the seat, and that just guarantees a clog for the next user. A few of the guys just sit right on the toilet like they would at home.
Now my story about the mall:
Last weekend I went to the mall with my childhood friend Sheridan. We've been friends since we were really little and our parents have pictures of us playing in a sandbox together at age 3 or so. Our parents work for the same company and socialize together. Before my mom got the car keys, she reminded me to go to the bathroom one more time. This is something that Sheridan thought was kind of cute and she and I like teasing one another in a very playful way. When I came into the living room after using the bathroom she held up two fingers on one hand and one on the other and was mouthing about which one I had done. Luckily my mom was already in the car downstairs.
So at 10 we got to the mall which is huge and has a theater at each end. Once mom dropped us off Sheridan said we were about a half hour early for the movie we wanted to see. She said she had to go to the bathroom and had been holding it. I asked her why. She said her older sister said the smell is go bad it almost makes her gag so she tries to time her craps for school and other public places. I found that somewhat surprising because I'm just the opposite. I just hate using public bathrooms. So I took a bench near the commons while I waited for Sheridan who had entered the large restroom. I decided to surprise her and time her on my phone. It was just past 6 minutes when I saw her walking toward me in her tight jeans and t-shirt. I was taken aback by one thing: her jeans were fully unzipped in front. She put her hand on her gut and said she felt good about getting rid of it. She was surprised when I motioned for her to zip up. She did quickly and then asked if I wanted to see a couple of selfies she took. She took out her phone and sure enough there was this big white seat with a bowl filled with yellow pee and a wide crap that was almost in the same of an S. Another photo she took showed her crotch while she was seated and crap floating in the water.
We did a two hour movie and afterwards we went to the food court for lunch. Of course, we got too much and Sheridan and I shared a second monster drink which came free with the daily special. My bladder was about to burst and Sheridan handed me her phone and said it was my turn to share. She knows my mom sometimes makes surprise checks of my phone and that I have to be careful. I told her those bathrooms were much too large for me to use and she knows I hate the large bathrooms we have at our school. So I told her I'd like to walk up to the 3rd level which has a lot of smaller stores, the mall office and a lot less traffic. Of course, she played it like I was asking her to walk across the ocean, her feet were going to give out, and I was going to have to carry her. But she went and even liked looking at clothing in a couple of the boutiques up there. When I reminded her of my bladder's needs, she acted surprised and said I could have gone 30 minutes earlier when we were downstairs at the food court. She knows I so hate those large bathrooms and that many of the stalls are not doored!
So I cursed at her, took the phone out of her hand and made a run to the bathroom. Sure the bathroom was smaller, but six of the eight urinals was in use and four of the five toilet stalls were occupied with guys with their jeans and underwear at floor level. I took the open stall. The guy to my right was dropping them plop, plop, plop, etc. and was humming some dumb song. My neighbor to the left had shoes off the floor so I knew it was probably a child. I looked and found my bowl to be clean so there was no reason for me to flush. I tore off four almost equal size sheets of toilet paper. I placed one across the front and other across the back of the seat. Then I carefully laid one on each side. Then I carefully sat my butt down. I learned at a younger age that too much movement on my part can cause the tp to blow or slide off. So I was careful. Then I pointed my organ from off the toilet paper and into the bowl where I carefully held it as I did my pee that lasted probably about just under two minutes. The picture I took between my legs and aiming into the bowl came in a little dark, but Sheridan immediately saw the paper under me and playfully teased me about how I'm harming the eco-system. She has said many times how she doesn't understand why several of her male friends are afraid to sit on a public toilet. And she gave me a hard time for not using the timer on her phone.
But I told her at least I didn't drop the phone into the toilet. That was an accident one of her friends had at a Justin Bieber concert a couple of years ago. That would be a very costly mistake.Optional Person
responces
Catherine - maybe she will a good outlet for you to talk poop with?
Trucker girl - as a person that loves looking and smelling turds, I am jealous of your experience. I think it is awesome that you leave your dumps as a present for the next person.
Teri- this is late, but I love your story. what an interesting experience.
oldpoop
To Dom: peeing in the yard
If no one sees you pee, and if you don't do it in the same spot every time, I see no problem with peeing in the yard. I do it fairly often, and for the same reasons you cite. As a gardener, I often have dirty shoes, so I don't like tracking dirt into the house, and I certainly don't want to take off my shoes every time I have to go in and pee (and I pee fairly often because of a swollen prostate, quite common in men over 50). If you find a spot with no vegetation, you could use that repeatedly; but if you pee on the same plants several times, you could damage or even kill those plants. Do be careful about being seen; you can be arrested as a public nuisance even on your own property, I believe. If it is convenient to go inside to pee, I do that; but if it isn't, there are several places on my fairly large property (1.35 acres) where I can't be seen, so I pee there if I really need to. Just be careful and considerate, and you should be OK. (Wild animals pee outdoors all the time.)Simmee
Several Things
Tlana's survey
1. Have you ever seen squatters in your school? Yes. Only a few times.
2. Were they peeing, pooping or both? 2 were pooping, 1 was peeing.
3. Do you know why they do it? Not exactly, but this one girl was really tall. I was on the toilet next to her and I could hear her come and saw her from the shoulders up. She pulled a little toilet paper off the roll, lifted the seat, positioned herself over the toilet by widening her legs, then I saw her jeans and underwear fall to the floor. I could hear her make 2 pushes and there was nothing. On the 3rd there was a plop into the toilet. About 5 seconds later, another plop hit the water. she stood and pushed for another 20 seconds or so. Then there was TP torn off, she wiped without breaking her stance. Then I saw a foot go up and the stool flushed. Then the she left and the door was still swinging when the next user came in. Immediately her legguns came down and I could hear her butt drop on the seat. There was one swoosh and and her pee patter started.
4. Disadvantages? I would guess splashed seats so the users need to raise the seat. Also, I can't see it being more comfortable than than just sitting down the normal way.
5. Advantages? Those with phobias about touching the seats, etc. Less toilet paper used if they otherwise would build a nest of paper to sit on.
6. Have you tried it? Yes. Once I was at a public playground. There was no TP and I was bursting to pee. As soon as I walked into the stall I could see the seat was wet. While standing, the pee just started to run down my leg. So I got frustrated and just sat down and had a satisfying pee. I was about 10. When I asked my mom about it, she said I shouldn't have sat in the pee because you can catch new type of STD that way.
Zach's survey:
1. When you have to pee really bad, how long do you usually pee for?
Often 45 seconds or more.
2. What is the longest pee you've ever taken?
Close to 3 minutes. We were between interstate rest stops in the midwest and I had drank probably a gallon of ice tea.
3. Have you ever had to pee so bad that you started peeing before you even sat down all the way? This happened at my school this year. I was bursting and the girl in front of me got off the toilet and turned and flushed. My mind said 'Great it is finally my turn' and I unbottoned my jeans and was ready to yank my jeans down when she opened the door. Instead the mean girl sat back down and did a shit. I told her I was really hurtin' but she gave me a really obnoxious look and rolled her eyes before leaving about 3 minutes later. By then I had a leak the size of a softball in my underwear.
4. Are you able to stop peeing once you are in full blast?
It hurts really bad, but I've had to a few times. When the 1-minute warning bell for class rings, its everything I can do to get to class on time and avoid detentions.
for Nick (from Canada) and other guys on this forum:
I know that some guys don't like the lack of privacy at the urinals and that sometimes they can be teased or bullied by older guys about the 'endowments' they lack as they stand and pee.
What design type of urinals are best for giving the users more privacy?
Why don't more schools provide these?
Is the 'sissy' stereotype going away?
How is the 'germ phobia' issue dealt with?
Thanks for your replies!Ellison
Happy Hour With Dani
My long-time friend Dani invited me to get a drink during happy hour. We met at a new bar right after work. After a round of drinks and more on the way Dani invited me to go with her to the ladies room because she said she had been holding her non-number one (what she cleverly calls crapping) for three hours. I remembered from our high school days that she is a noisy crapper and I know she was hassled in school about the noise her bowels make. There's gas on top of gas.
We went to the back of the bar where the restrooms are. She opened the door, did a quick look over of the room which was two toilets right by one another that was separated by a metal panel that was no higher than our hips. I immediately stopped and said she could go in first, I would wait because I thought she'd want more privacy. She pointed at my toilet (the one on the left) and told me she wanted some company. I reluctantly agreed. I hung my purse on the wall, pulled my suit pants down, and placed my butt on the black seat. What started as a trickle became much more substantial as she pulled her suit bottom down, and sat on her seat which was white. She was only on it for a couple of seconds when she suddenly half stood up, flicked the seat up with her thumb and then she quickly reseated herself on the bowl rim. I immediately asked her if the seat was loose or something, and she seemed surprised that I asked what she seemed to think was common knowledge. She said she fell upon the idea after being hassled during our school days. By sitting on the rim, farts will be muffled and her crapping will be less noticed by others. She also said there's less splash back onto her butt, something she said she worried about in when we were in school because so many of the toilets went unflushed and the pee of others would be splashed up on her.
I was surprised that her crap went so efficiently. There were three pieces that I heard and I could also tell by the look on her face as she punched them out. Without thinking I was surprised that she stood to wipe herself twice. I told her that I've just always done it while seated. Then she explained the obvious that part or all of her hand could be getting wet in the bowl. We both flushed at about the same time, although one of her logs was so large that it needed additional attention with a second flush. We washed our hands and when I opened the door to leave, two others about our age were waiting to come in.
As our next round of drinks was delivered Dani joked that she now had room for dinner. She talked me into it and paid. She used the bathroom twice later but that was uneventful, and I stayed at our table.Dominic
Hey Dude in Distress
Hey man, sorry to hear you've been badly constipated. I haven't been much better myself. I've been sick lately and been taking Tylenol for muscle aches, but Tylenol is constipating and for someone who already gets constipated a lot, it just makes it way worse. The other day I hadn't pooped in almost three days (much of which was spent lying in bed sick) and finally I went to the bathroom to try because I could feel a mass in there. I was pushing and straining for a long time, over half an hour, to get the turd out. It look a lot of pushing and grunting for it to even emerge out of my butt and once it did, it was really slow coming out. I pushed in at least three different positions and by the end I was red-faced and panting a ton. I was grunting really loudly too, so I'm sure someone in my family heard me. Finally the turd came out and landed on the floor with a thud (I was squatting on the floor toward the end). It was massive and my hole was so sore after that.Mike Of MD USA
Surveys
1. What's your favorite brand? Quilted Northern
2. How much do you buy at once {six-pack,twelve..?}? I usually buy a 12 pack or more.
3. How far down does your stock get before you decide to get more?
About 2 rolls.
4. Have you ever ran out in the middle of wiping? Yes but it was always in the bathroom.
5. Have you ever sat down and started/finished your business before realizing that there was no toilet paper? No I always keep at least 2 rolls of toilet paper in my bathroom.
5. If so how did you deal with it? See # 4 Answer.
1. What's the longest time you were without a poo? A day or more.
2. What was the longest time you were on the for? Between 5 minutes and 20 minutes.
3. Have you ever went poo in a bathroom with no/door less stalls? No
4. Have you ever had a poo in the opposite gender bathroom? Yes when i was young.
5. Have you ever went with a friend? Yes i have but i had my own stall.
6. Have you ever clogged a toilet? Yes a couple of times.
7. Have you ever went in something else? Yes a shower by accident.
8. Have you ever missed the toilet? Yes it landed on the floor and floor mat.Catherine
Alan's Mom
I've been so busy!
Victoria B: I love your stories too! June 4 is the big day! I can't believe that we are down to one month! And with the toilet paper, it's best to be prepared! It's not just whether or not the stall has toilet paper, but what kind of paper you'll find when you get there. And, yes, the wet wipes come in handy in certain situations.
Every second that we've had I've been deciding what's coming with me to Alan's house and what's staying at my parents' until our home is complete. Alan and I already have the land, the design for the home, and we hope that building can begin during the summer. Our goal is to live in his current home until our house is complete, and then move into the new one next summer! We have awesome plans for the bathroom! I bet that was a surprise for y'all!
Alan's mother is awesome! I cannot believe that my mother-in-law is who she is. I've heard such horror stories, but I don't think that I could have had a nicer, compassionate and outgoing person to be my mother-in-law. First, I found out that she is not as old as I thought that she was. She is only 54 years old (both Alan and I are 35). Doing the math, she had Alan when she was 19. She does not have a good relationship with her parents. They are still living, but Alan has never mentioned them. She had Alan out of wedlock, which I know is common, but it really caused a rift between her and her parents, which is so sad. She is a beautiful woman, very fit, and has an athletic build. She is 5'8" and has short, blond hair. She has blue eyes and a beautiful complexion that has not aged much at all. Too, she really is into staying fit, but does it by keeping a garden on their land. She loves to work outdoors and she loves to eat. But, I kid you not, she has one of the most ideal butts that a woman could have. It is firm, fit and round.
We spent a day together in early March just shopping, talking and getting to know each other. We picked out paint for his house to repaint, to get the house ready to sell and to decorate a little differently. Too, we went to a mall not far away and ate lunch at an Italian restaurant. It was at the restaurant that our conversation shifted toward poop.
After eating and paying, Jane (Alan's mom) said that she had to go to the bathroom, and asked if I needed to before we continued our day. I needed to pee and went in with her. She was so matter of fact that I had no idea what was about to happen. We got in our stalls and got our jeans down. We both were peeing and she was just talking away when she finally said, "Oh, please excuse me. I'm about to have a B.M."
And then I heard a lot of thick, heavy plops. Then the bathroom began to smell like a healthy, but heavy bowel movement. I finished and got my jeans up when I heard Jane fart again and follow up with some more loose poop sounding plops. I told her that I would wait for her outside.
She finished a few minutes after I stepped out of the restroom. I guess the Italian had stimulated her bowels. Fortunately mine were on schedule and I was not worried.
When we walked out, she sort of apologized and said that she had hoped to wait until she was home to do that but that the heavy lunch really made her need to go. She said that she was always conscientious about her bowel movements and that she did not want to risk an accident. Then she began to tell me that Alan told her that I had to take "Chloe" and "Zoe" into the bathroom at the movies and that he was so impressed with how good I was with the girls, even though I had never had kids of my own.
She said that she knew that it could be awkward to use the restroom with a child with them, but that her bowel movements seemed to always strike when she was out with Alan when he was little. She said that she had no choice but to take him in the stall with her, even though she was embarrassed. I was thinking, "So this explains why Alan may be fascinated with me pooping."
Jane went on to tell me a story that could have just as well come from this website. I mean, I could see someone writing this here exactly the way she told it.
She's a nurse and she often had to work long shifts. On this particular day, well, let me write it like she said:
"I worked 12 hour shifts at the local hospital seven days on and seven days off. Jerry was teaching and coaching at the time, and this happened right before school started. Alan was five, but had not started kindergarten. I picked him up from daycare after I got off work, still in my scrubs, and had to run to the grocery store. When I picked him up I knew I was going to need a toilet soon. I had not had a bowel movement in two days and I eat like a horse. You know. You've seen me." Yes, I though, Jane does have a great appetite for a woman. She continued, "I went in the grocery store and had a long list of things to pick up. As I began to fill the buggy up, my need to go got worse. It gradually grew stronger. But I had so many items in my cart, that I did not want to put them back. Alan was being Alan and walking with me quietly and calmly telling me about his day the best a five-year old can. When I finished and paid, we had been in there an hour and I really had to go to the bathroom in the worst way. I mean, it was a heavy feeling with a lot pain and pressure. Have you ever felt like that?"
I blushed when she asked me that and said that I had. I was not quite comfortable sharing with her my own obsessions, experiences and struggles with defecating. Of course, she knew that time I had diarrhea at their lake house.
She continued, "I got us to the car and unloaded the groceries into the trunk of the car. Alan was a little fussy and I was a little short with him, 'Please cooperate. Mommy has to poo poo and we need to get home quickly.' I put the buggy back in the return and got back to the car when I just lost it. Catherine, I've never lost control of my bowels like this time. I kept thinking, 'I'm a 24-year-old woman. This cannot be happening.' I kept fighting to hold it when my body just betrayed me and there in front of my son I defecated in my scrubs and panties. Alan looked at me with his little blue eyes and asked, 'Mommy, did you poo poo in your pants?' And I responded, 'Yes, Alan, Mommy had an accident.' Alan was so cute, 'It will be all right, Mommy.' I was red in the face and I felt like crying. I was exhausted, and now, humiliated."
She finished the story by saying, "The worst part was sitting in it and hearing how bad it smelled from your five year old. Of course he told Jerry when we got home. It was the worst thing every. For a while, Alan would ask me if I had 'poo pooed' before we would go somewhere. I was patient with him, but it seemed to make an impression."
Anyway, for a while, all I can picture is my mother-in-law to be as a young woman (I've seen pictures of her with Alan at that age. She was beautiful. She had short, curly hair - a good 1980's type perm.) taking a huge dump in her scrubs.
Well, that may have been a little too much information for my mother-in-law to share. However, it made me feel close to her to know that she is down to earth, kind, and has healthy bowels!
I hope that you liked the story!
Love,
Catherine!