To Trevor: I've had castor oil before on two occasions. Once to clean out before an x-ray and another time for constipation. It is very strong and gives me cramps long before I am able to shit. It takes about 6 hours to work. The first shit is hard lumps and hurts, but then you start going about every 15 or 20 minutes and it gets more and more liquid. At the end, the cramps are bad enough to double you over and the b.m.'s are just watery liquid. You think it will never end, but it finally does after 3 or 4 hours. When it starts working, I cannot leave my house because I know I will have an accident like I did in college with the dulcolax. Castor oil is thorough, though. What are your experiences with it? To Bob: How are you doing with the constipation? Have you had to take another dulcolax suppository? Do you find that burning and irritation is one of the side effects? Do you have to strain even with the suppository? I know I do and also have to grunt and moan. Its really emba! rrasing if someone is around. I haven't been able to "go" in four days, so I may have to take a suppository in the morning if nothing happens. I've been in the restroom at work straining several times today without result.
Thom, I haven't heard from you lately. I always love your posts. You and I seem to have similar dumps. I, too, am often constipated. Could you tell about some ofthe marathon sessions you and your brother shared? Let's hear from you.
Friday, August 28, 1998
For those of you who don't know, I am Lactose Intolerant, and I was a camp counselor this past summer at a sleep-a-way camp. I have posted a few hundred times, check the past postings. This summer I really only had one accident. Which wasn't even that bad. After a lunch of pizza and fries, I was sitting on my bed, awaiting the expected stomach ache and diarrhea waves. About fifteen minutes after returning to my bunk, they hit, but I was immersed in listening to a CD so I decided to wait until the song was over. When the song was over, five minutes later, I walked myself to the bathroom, where both of the stalls in our bunk were occupied, by my girls. I asked them both if they would be out soon, and both girls said they would, so I just stood there and looked in the mirror. About five minutes later, they were still not out, and I was beginning to get desperate, so I asked again, and they both said they were almost finished. I don't know why, but the though of almost getting into a stall relaxed me, and I let down my guard. But mistake, because not a second later a huge fart snuck out, which wasn't bad because my girls do it all the time, but a huge chunk of shit came with it, I waited for about another minute, when one of my girls came out of her stall. I started walking and each step I took, I farted and shit myself. I quickly hoped into the stall, pulled down my shorts and panties and released this massive load. Before I got on to the toilet though I shit on the floor. After about twenty minutes I was finished, I wiped my butt and my vagina (I always pee when I shit). I threw out my soiled panties because they started out white and were all brown and chunky by the time I got into the stall. By the time the two girls and I, and my co-counselor (who took the other camper's stall) were through in the bathroom it smelled so badly we needed to leave all the bunk windows open for 4 hours to bring it back to semi-normal. I had to go one other time that day, and I just made it to the bathrooms at the soccer fields in time. Monica have you ever had any major LI caused accident. If so post them please.
Randi P., Be careful about pooping in a lake. One time my buddy did it and the turd wouldn't let go. He was shaking his butt and trying to swim away from it and it just wanted to cling. I suppose your turd, being a floater, let go more easily.
Paul - I know what your talking about. I used to work with a bunch of Hispanic guys that loved to put chili's on everything! I mean the real hot ones! The best was a big peperoni pizza. I'd refer to that as twice burn, burns going in and coming out. Sorta double your pleasure, double your fun!
Hi Silent Spice, The Sandra Bullock movie you mentioned is called "When The Party's Over" I know, because my friend has a huge crush on her. Yes, I still do think about Leo on the toilet. But, in all, I mostly think about guys in general, not really anyone in particular. Usually, I prefer the concept of watching as someone else is pooping as I am very shy about my own bathroom "performances" Yet, lately, for some strange reason, I have begun thinking that it would be great to have someone assisting me as I am pooping. I really like the idea of someone encouraging me through my efforts as well as rubbing my stomach and back. Of course, I could never let that happen in real life. I don't think I could ever be that open or uninhibited. Oh well, maybe someday.... Bridget
To BrentC: A dragee is a coated tablet, sorry, i didn´t know that this word doesn´t exist the USA. I´m surprised, that Golytely must be prescripted in the USA, because the contents are harmless. If you have got a balance, you can mix the soluble powder yourself. In Germany the list of contents is on the label and you can buy the contents in every pharmacy. If Golytely doesn´t work after one hour, drink the following cups not so fast, for example one or two cups per hour. You should stop drinking Golytely after the first bowel movement. I usually need one liter, maximum two liter. You shouldn´t begin to drink Golytely in the evening, you should start at the lastest in the afternoon, because the movement of the body increases the effect of golytely and so the procedure is normally over when you go to bed. You could support the effect of Golytely, if you do some gymnastic exercise in the stomach-region. I have good experiences with drinking one cup of Golytely every day. This doesn´t cause a "whole clean-out", but the poo is softener. In Germany we have got a laxative called "Movicol", this is Golytely in daily portions. I´ve got the same experiences like you with dulcolax suppository. Sometimes i´ve had one good dump, sometimes i have to go two times or three times. So i think, it is useful to be nearby a toilet for at least one hour. to George: I think the best thing is not to take laxatives at all, but more than 40 percent of the population in Germany sometimes take laxatives. The reasons are diversed. A natural practitioner once said: Man should have a bowel movement three times a day. In this case, if you havn´t a bowel movement, you can use at the first time very weak laxatives like milk sugar, a spoon of sauerkraut or some plum. i think, this is plausible.
When is a squat toilet not a squat toilet? My work takes me all over the place, often abroad, and in my capacity as sanitaryware innovator I visit as many toilets as I can. I have worked in Russia, and had lots of unusual toilet experiences there. The standard type of pan in Russia is the wash-out (shallow dished bowl with vertical outlet at front). They are still found in many countries, but fell out of favour in UK and USA at the turn of the century for various reasons, particularly the smell which arises from poos lying in a heap until flushed, rather than being submerged in water. Janet and I imported various wash-outs, and got used to them around the house, and they have a certain immodesty which appeals to me. However, I was looking for a Russian squat, and after about 50 visits to public toilets of both sexes I still hadn't found one. I often saw wash-outs set a few inches into the floor, without a seat, intended to be used squatting slightly. Then, working in a sports stadium, I had to do a poo. I couldn't see the Gents', but found a fascinating 3-stall Ladies' room in the office block. Built up from the floor was a tiled concrete platform about 14" high, into which wash-out pans were embedded with only the rim showing. Presumably squat plates were, like most things, in short supply when it was built. Stalls like wooden cupboards 4 feet high served to conceal the users while squatting (but not while standing). The pans were heavily soiled with poo, but all flushed OK (unusual for Russia). Someone had thoughtfully provided a basket full of writing paper (tp is never supplied, you have to improvise). I grabbed a handful, and after squatting for a few minutes produced a splendid heap of logs. I took my time, hoping for some female company, but no-one came. I wiped and flushed, and tried in vain to find a basin to wash my hands. OK, I thought, where do the sportswomen do theirs? I found out next day, and had a truly memorable session, about wh! ich I will post tomorrow. Full bottoms to you all. Crimson.
Thursday, August 27, 1998
RING OF FIRE! A couple of nights ago after a boozy night out with a couple of mates we rolled into an Indian restaurant. Feeling adventuresome we ordered from the "hot" section of the menu. The food duly arrived and at first bite we were all reaching for our beers. It was the hottest I have ever had and we all struggled through it. We quickly departed - mouths still on fire and all went home to respective beds. The alcohol induced sleep was rudely disrupted about 5am by the first wave of a storm raging through the lower interior. I went to fart thinking that the pain might subside but quickly applied the brakes to avert what would have been a catastophe the size of the Exon Valdez. I scampered out of bed and made my way urgently to the throne room where I proceeded to unload the remains of the previous nights folly. My ring gear was on fire as I released the first stage and was sure I could hear the hiss as is hit the water! I sat there for about 15 minutes hoping to get rid of the lava that was scorching me horribly. The relative coolness of the TP went some way to relieving the agony but I was hopping round the house for a while afterwards. Unfortunately that was not the end of it (no pun intended) Later that morning I was meeting a client at the airport when I had to excuse myself hurredly to get rid of a second wave attack. I think the people using the mens room at the same time could have been forgiven if they had called in the airport fire service to remove a significant bio hazard and cart away the poor person moaning from the far stall. A check with my co-diners revealed that they had all had the same effect and at the same time in the morning. Anyone else had a similar experience with hot food?
Hello again. What I am about to tell you is 100% true. Its a REAL ghost story that happened to me last night. I was alone last night because my mom doesnt live with us anymore, my dad was at his new girlfriends house and my sisters were spending the night at their friends house. I have no idea why I couldnt of sleeped at a friends house but OH WELL?? Well actually for the last month or 2 at around 3:30am(I usually stay up really late for some reason)I always hear footsteps or moaning sounds in the pitch dark basement and its nothing like cat footsteps and everyone is usually asleep. But last night I KNEW that it HAD to of been a ghost. I was in the living room with only the t.v on for light and it was down really low so the neighbors wouldnt complain and I heard a noise from the hallway. I got up to see what it was and their were footsteps going into the bathroom. I went inside and there was cold air by the toilet. Then I looked in the toilet and their was number 2 in the toilet. It couldnt of been any of ours because we always flush and the last time I checked before then it was empty and now their was poop there. That is where the footsteps were so it must of been a ghost right? Did any of this ever happen to you? This is 100% true remember. And the only reason I told you is because it had to do with poop too so I told you. Oh yeah Movie Fan..I know a few movies with girls going to the bathroom. There is a movie with Sandra Bullock but I forget what its called and she and her two friends go pee one after the other on it! Also on Ace Ventura I think it is the bad girl says she had to go to the bathroom and Ace is like Number 1 or number 2?? But we dont see anything. Alex..Remember me? Im the one with the bitch of a mom. She didnt come to my graduation. I wasnt surprised at all. She came to my other sisters but I guess Im not as important right? Bridget..are you still thinking about Leo on the toilet? Im not about BSB anymore. I think Im over that. Oh yeah. I think Kristy is right. Its gross seeing other peoples number 2 in the toilet. I saw that alot in public bathrooms. One time it there were REALLY big jobbies in the toilet and lots of TP too! And my sister cant even flush. Is that so hard?? No! Oh well. Bye!
For Happy Camper, it is interesting that you mention your wife is shy about letting you into the bathroom. My wife is the same way. I am kind of disappointed in one thing about our 2 year marriage. We don't take a dump much less piss around each other. I was taking a leak one time and she walked in and then quickly walked out. She was kind of embarrased. I am trying to figure out on how to break the ice. She is Japanese and I don't know if it is cultural to go to the bathroom in private. I feel your pain (truly unlike slick willy).
Hi everybody! I just stumbled upon this site a few days ago, and have spent the time since then reading alot of the old posts. I have noticed that some of the old posters are lactose intolerant like myself. Maybe some of them have had the problems I had at work today. I literally had 5 large, smelly bowel movements at work today, due to my taking a chance and having several dairy products, including a large shake, at lunch. I normally avoid dairy products because everyone knows that LI people can't properly digest lactose. I work in a large office building, and the women's restroom has 7 stalls, and our floor has over 40 women who use it regularly. Anyway, shortly after lunch, I felt a huge rumbling in my stomach and into my bowels, and I knew I had to go REAL bad. As I reached the restroom door, I ran into my friend Cheryl, who was also heading to the bathroom. Now, being lactose intolerant, I have always used public restrooms to have a movement, but I was a little embarrassed about having what felt like a huge movement with Cheryl in the bathroom. However, I couldn't wait. Two other stalls were occupied, and the bathroom already smelled like a few women had already relieved themselves. I took a stall, and Cheryl, who I had been talking to, took the stall next to me. As soon as I shut the door, I pulled up my skirt and pulled down my hose and panties. I tried to hold off from going for a minute, hoping that Cheryl would only have to pee. Cheryl peed and then was quiet. I knew I couldn't hold it any longer and let it go. Immediately I let out several loud farts with many turds in between. Cheryl sort of laughed and asked if I was sick. I told her about my LI and she laughed and said that her sister was LI also. Cheryl had a quik movement and left. I stayed in the restroom for 15 minutes, until I thought I had everything out. Anyway, about every hour until I went home, I got a quick attack of bloating and gas in my stomach, and had to rush to the bathroom to let it explode out. I'll bet half the floor heard me farting like a cannon this afternoon.... I also have noticed a few things since I have been working at this office. The newer, younger girls seem a bit shyer about pooping at work than the rest of us who have been there for a while. After about a month, they start going regularly like the rest of us. I have also noticed that there are certain times of the day when more women poop than other times. For about the first hour and a half of work, there are many who poop because of the breakfast or coffee thing. From late morning until lunch not too many poop. After lunch until about 3 p.m. is the busy time. The first hour after lunch being the busiest. There have been a few times when all 7 stalls are full of women pooping. Has anyone else noticed this sort of thing?
This entire post is for Happy Camper: We may have been split up at the hospital! It's true that we do seem to have a lot of similarities. I don't live in L.A. though,-or California for that matter, but I'm still close by. It's great that your wife is getting more relaxed around you. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear more. I have a story that I definitely think you'll understand. When I was about 17, and my sister in law, who was cute and sexy (and divorcing my brother), was over at my parents house where I was staying. I was in their bedroom writing something down in a notebook, and she came in to use that bathroom in their master bedroom. We were always friendly and comfortable around each other, so at first I didn't think too much of the fact that she left the door open. I figured she was only going to pee. I don't think this memory will ever leave me. She dropped her jeans down, and just sat there for about 2 or 3 minutes watching me write. It was about then that I'd figu! red out what was happening. I could see her full figure, and I realized that I was seeing my sister in law, bare assed, on the toilet. My hand was shaking so bad I could hardly keep the pen still, and she goes "Whatcha' writing?" and as soon as she said that she grunted real softly, looked away from me, and down at the floor at her feet, and pooped about 5 or 6 soft sounding plops into the toilet. She looked up again at me smiling and said "I hope you didn't hear that." I remember trying to steal looks beyond casual glances in our conversation. I had never been so turned on in my entire life! and then out of the blue, she goes "Ooh, I gotta do a big one here. hold on." and then she grunted a little more, and I hear a huge "Plop!" in the toilet, followed by what I thought was an exaggerated sigh of relief. She must've sat there, and pooped for a good 15 minutes. As she was nearing her finish, she apologized for stinking up the room where I was working. She just said "I didn't t! hink it would be this bad." (and it was bad too!). To this day, I still remember her just sitting on the toilet, dropping her bombs, and watching me write in a notebook, as if this was just an everyday occurance. Later in that same year, she left the door open again, and soon after that, she walked in on me while I was doing a big one, and even stayed for a bit to try and embarrass me, (which she did), making jokes whenever I'd 'plop', like "That sounded like a big one!" and then she'd laugh. Anyway, to make a long story short, my wife replayed this scenario about 6 months ago, and the same thing happened to me then as it did many years ago. I felt it was important to tell the story, so you'd have a better understanding of the way it hit me. Now, as for your question: I can't say for sure, I love to watch and be watched equally. Like you however, I've found lately, an extreme fondness for being watched. I spoke of an incident a long time ago, about our nieghbor lady peeking in! at me, because she had a good view into our bathroom. I liked it a lot I gotta admit. I've also had one of my mother's friends walk in on me, which really turned me on. One time at a gay bar, (I loved them because they had great unisex, doorless toilets!) an extremely cute girl stood by while I took a crap simply because she wasn't going to lose her spot waiting for the toilet. She even kept asking me how much longer I was going to be! At the same bar, I got to watch a girl come in, and as she sat down, she said to her girlfriend, (who was supposed to be guarding her), "This one isn't gonna be pleasant, so plug your nose!", and I watched her do a quick, but nasty dump right there. Actually, getting off the subject here, I've seen some gorgeous gals pooping in restrooms in gay bars. Most of these places just had open toilets with no partitions whatsoever. The ladies weren't shy about it either. When they couldn't find a dance partner, they'd go and take a shit! I've been watch! ed in the company of other males, and it dosen't really bother me. I guess I've just gotten used to it. It's the entire act in itself that I like. But if I had my choice, of any kind of toilet experience, I'd choose a female first time, every time!!! It's nice to have a twin brother! Keep in touch with the wife thing, and vice-versa, I'll keep you filled in about my situation as well.
Each to their own, but I certainly would NOT like to take either the laxatives suggested by Michael from Germany or the Suppositories used by Brent C. I dont often get really constipated as the diet I eat produces large formed but reasonably easy to pass stools, as is the case with Moira my wife. She DOES tend however to get a bit constipated during her period but doesnt let this bother her too much. If its really obstinate she will take Liquid Parafin (Mineral Oil in the USA) which simply lubricates the bowel and makes the turd come out easier. The only time she has ever taken a powerful purgative was a few years ago when she got a bad does of food poisoning from eating a dodgy take away meal. To clear her system she took Picolax which is Sodium Picosulfate. This is both an osmotic and stimulant laxative used to rapidly clear the bowel often before medical examinations. It works about an hour after being taken as a large volume drink and has a repeated action with profuse watery diarrhea - YEUK! In Moira's case she already had diarrhea and vomiting anyway from the bad food so this merely speeded up the body's natural proces! s of getting rid of poisonous substances quickly. I DIDNT accompany her to the toilet that day as diarrhea is a total turn off for us both. This drastic therapy did actually work however as at the end of that day she felt much better. She didnt have a motion for a couple of days afterwards, then to the delight of both of us she was back to her normal self passing a nice big solid jobbie, with myself in attendance rubbing her ????.
Well I finally pooped in a lake. It was really hot on a day off recently so I went to a lake to swim. I put on my one-piece suit and went out to the lake. I was the only one out there so after a while I swam over to the ropes,pulled my swimsuit alll the way down to my theighs, and squatted in the water. It felt so good to see the long brown turd come up and float in the water. Now I can put that down in the Sitting On The Toliet Survey. Anyone else have any stories like that?
Usually I'm a daily pooper, but occasionally I get constipated, especially when traveling. I've tried laxatives and suppositories, but I prefer to take an enema. I dont like waiting for relief. Sometimes the stronger, faster laxatives like citrate of magnesia just run through me, leaving the big hard poop where it was. The milder laxatives are so unpredictable. Suppositories work, but only empty the rectum. They do nothing for a colon full of poop. An enema can be a very pleasant, even erotic experience if done correctly. I love the totally cleaned out feeling after an enema. I had a great enema this morning. I hadnt pooped in three days, so I decided it was time. I filled my bag with two quarts of warm soapy water. I layed on the bathroom floor on my back with my knees up, and let the entire bag flow into me. I held it about five minutes, then jumped onto the toilet. At first only a little water came out, but I felt something large at my opening. I pushed a little and several large jobbies slid out. They were about 1 1/2" in diameter, 6 or 8 inches long and sort of knobby. Then a lot of brown water with bits and pieces came out. >From past experience, I could tell that my colon was not empty, so I took another enema. This time a lot of jobbies about 3/4" diameter by 3 or 4 inches came out with the water. Usually I take 3 or 4 enemas, but I felt empty after the second, so I didnt take any more. I feel great now. I've been taking enemas for over 40 years. I believe enemas are beneficial. I'll post more later.
The other day I had to go to the dentist. After getting done, I went back to the waiting room to make some notes in my daytimer regarding my visit. What is unusual about this basement office is that the bathroom is right off the waiting room, instead of being inside the offices somewhere. I had noticed on previous visits that the pretty female dental staff have to use this bathroom too, not just the clients. As I sat down to make notes, one of the female staff, cute, about 40 years old, came out to use the bathroom. i decided to sit in the seat nearest the bathroom and see what i could hear. At first all was quiet. Then I heard the tearing off of several sheets of toilet paper. Then I heard her begin to piss. That lovely piss sound. I felt naughty, like I shouldn't be hearing this private thing. Her piss wasn't a hissing sound, but more of a normal urine hitting water directly. Like a man urinating, not a girl. Then, it didn't seem like she had time to wipe herself. Almost immediately the toilet flushed, then I heard her washing her hands. When she came out, I pretended to be immersed in my daytimer. This was the first time, listening to a stranger. Maybe in the future I can hear a poop or something.
Hi everyone! Especially Aaron and Diskputers. I'm Nicky, (Nicholas), I'm 15 years, male and I live in the UK - on a small farm in Southern England. Just caught up with the old posts while I've been away - I've been reading this site for a good time now. For as long as I can remember I have preferred to empty my bowels in the great outdoors which I usually manage to do, and I am happy to be observed while performing - I like to watch others too. My best mates - Andrew and Josh - often drop their loads in our fields too - or on the way to school in term time - and we usually watch each other, and examine the results too!! I suppose that's what is called "buddy dumping"? Anyway, I reckon I'm in a good position to say what I have seen in my own and others' body waste - corn of course - bright yellow!, olives (black and green), pea skins - but as they are transparent and difficult to see you need to be able to make a closer examination than in a WC!, - fruit seeds and pips, mushrooms! - they don't always digest too well - at least Andrew's don't!, tomato skins which always seem to curl up tightly and poke out of my waste with a flash of red and of course vegetable fibres are often on display when we have finished. Have any of you studied colours of shit, like when you eat spinach and stuff it goes a sort of army green, beetroot makes for a dramatic purple pile on the ground the next day, but don't hang about to show it off - it turns a boring greyish brown in a couple of hours - and baked beans - if you eat lots (apart from the wind and fairly odourless farts) your shit usually has a slightly reddish tint next day! Oh well! What you shit is what you eat. Or is it what you eat is what you shit?! Aaron, tell us about your latest performance soon! Keep the stories coming. Bye for now - Nicky
Sometimes laxatives are really troublesome!They made me have diarrhea in class,lost control on the blanket in my house,even puke my lunch on the sidewalk! Does any one have experiences about using castor oil? (especially male)
To Michael: I enjoyed your post. I have had some experience with Golytely. I have a lot of trouble with constipation and sometimes it's really bad. My doctor prescribed Golytely to clean me out on several occasions. In the USA, it is available only by prescription. I do not like using the Golytely. The label says it should start working about an hour after you start drinking it, but with me, it is about 4-5 hours. Of course, by then, I have all four liters in me and have terrible cramps and bloating. My belly is so bloated that I cannot even get into my jeans. When I finally start pooping, it doesn't all come out at once, but comes out in dribbles with a few hard chunks of poo every 10 or 15 minutes. This doesn't stop an hour after drinking the last of it but goes on into the night and next morning. If I start taking it at 5:00 PM, it is still affecting me the next morning. I have to admit that it does finally clean out the whole digestive tract and I feel much better when it is over. I do not like to use it, though, because of the length of the ordeal. My butt cheeks get numb from sitting on the toilet so much. Have your experiences with Golytely been better than mine? How much do you usually take? How much time do you usually block out? Do you do it alone or is someone around to give you moral support? I too use dulcolax suppositories. I've noticed the same thing about having to pee. I usually have to pee twice before the suppository makes me poop. Do you take one big dump or does the suppository make you go several times. Once I used a dulcolax suppository at home. After I took a good dump, I waited for about 30 minutes and figured I was done. I left home and went to a mall to shop. When I was about 5 minutes from the mall, a sudden cramp hit me and I felt my rectum fill up. By the time I got to the mall, I had to go in the worst way. I was able to maintain control until I got to the restroom in the mall. Of course there were no doors on the stall and several young guys were in there peeing and chatting. I had to unload a massive stream of semi-liquid shit complete with gas while they watched out of the corners of their eyes. It took about 20 minutes and was very embarrasing. Usually, the suppository only makes me go once, but I'm more careful about leaving the house after using one now. By the way Michael, what is a dragee?
Tuesday, August 25, 1998
To Jeff A. The more I reed your posts, the more I am certain that you are my long lost twin brother. From your posts I have gathered this list of common traits. We both have wives in the mid forties who are modest about their poopin. We both want to share in their poopin but don't know how to get past those first steps. My wife is finally starting to get with, but very slowly. She has left the door open a couple of times in the past 2 weeks while pooping, but I was afraid to go in. I want to bring her along slowly. This has been many years in the making to get her to change. And know suddenly without me pushing, she left the door open. We both have big feet. You have size 13 and I have size 12. When I see an attractive women sitting and leaning forward with her arms on her knees, I also fantasize about her poopin, just like the girl you watched on the train. I have camped in the high desert also, but I prefer camping in the Sierras. We must both live in the L.A. area. I do have one question for you. What do you like better -- doing the watching or being watched? I used to always like doing the watching better, but now, I actually think I enjoy being watched more. Of course by my wife or an attractive female only. Just not into watching men poop and being watched by men, like redneck and some of the other readers are. My advise is keep being persistent with your wife. I am finally to the point where I think my wife is going to give in totally i.e. always leave the door open when going. She already always leaves the door open when peeing. I know she will have arrived when she comes in to do a poop while I am shaving. She hasn't done that yet.
Nice to see Jill back again. On the topic of doing large jobbies in train toilets I have done this often. Recently when travelling to London there was a friendly man of about 40 sitting opposite me and I got into a conversation with him. During the journey I needed a motion and asked him to look after my seat and luggage while I went to the toilet. I was away about 10 minutes or so, and yes it was a big one as usual and got stuck. When I came back he then said he had to go to the toilet himself. When he came back I couldn't help but notice that he had an erection bulging the front of his trousers so I wonder if seeing my jobbie must have aroused him. Neither of us remarked about it of course.
Another amusing incident of this type took place when I was again on a business trip by train. The train was a bit crowded and there were people standing in the corridors and outside the toilet when I went in there were two teenage lads of about 18 I'd guess standing outside. This didnt bother me as I sat on the pan and passed a nice big long fat turd of about 14 inches long and about 2 1/4 inch thick. There was no sound effects given the small size of the pan and the length of the jobbie. Indeed, as it came out I felt some resistance and had to stand up slightly to finish it as the start of it was touching the bottom of the pan. When I looked half of it was sticking up out of the water. I pulled the flush, a weak stream of water came out as is often the case with train toilets but of course the motion didnt move an inch. This didn't bother me at all and I came out. I was only a few paces away standing behind a woman returning from the buffet with a tray of food and drink when I heard one of the boys who had been outside the loo say to his companion, "Cor look at the size of that! That ???? woman must have done it".
I havent done a motion in a small boat's toilet like Nicola and the loos in cross channel ferries are quite similar to ordinary toilets. I did however once do one in the toilet of a caravan with amusing results. Lauren and I had the use of a friend's motor caravan for a week and the toilet wasnt a horrid Elsan chemical toilet but instead it had a WC which looked quite normal and flushed into a tank under the caravan which was emptied at caravan sites into a drain next to the toilet block. (something like the toilets in long distance coaches ). Surprisingly this unit seemed to cope with my torpedos which went away after a couple of flushes no doubt as it had a syphonic type of action. However when we came to empty the tank out came a torrent of water, toilet paper and some smaller lumps then the flow stopped there was a gurgle and slowly two of my big jobbies slid out of the pipe followed by more water and paper. This amused not only me and Lauren (who always deals with these more practical aspects in our household) but some kids who were watching.
Yesterday it was my turn to assist Lauren as she had been constipated for 3 days. Usually she is quite regular. We were having a shower together when she farted a couple of times then said, "Oh I think I need a jobbie at last" She sat on the pan and strained, passing a couple of hard balls with loud "ploonk!" plonk!" sounds. I gently rubbed her ???? and gave it a little push and, with a lot of OO! AH! sounds she slowly passed a big hard lumpy turd . There was the "crackling" sound as it came out then a loud "KUR-SPLOONK!" We both had a good look at the fat, nobbily carrot shaped turd which was almost as big as one of mine. This one was a very dark brown. I thought she had finished and gave her some toilet paper but she said, "No there's more to come out and proceeded to pass a long soft smooth curved jobbie which just slid out easily and dropped into the pan with a gentle "Flop". She gave a long sigh of relief and said "That's better, Ive finished now!" This second stool was a lot lighter in colour. We then went back and finished our shower.
Finally, on the topic of items blocking toilets. I once read an article by a Dynorod operator (the company who use high pressure water hoses to unblock drains in the UK for American readers). He said that panties, tights (pantyhose) etc were commonplace but that some of the more amusing items were children's toys such as Teddy Bears , shoes, a baseball cap, and a whole small oven ready uncooked chicken (why someone would have wanted to flush that down the toilet I cannot begin to imagine!) Anyone know of stranger items?
I went on vacation to Hawaii and took a kayak for a ride, I went around a point and had to fart really bad, what I didn't know was that it was really diarrhea. I crapped my shorts. I took my underwear off and rolled them in a ball. I looked around and saw some japanies tourists filming me with a video camera on shore. I freaked out and started paddling back to shore. I took my under were and chucked them behind a little shop on the beach. later that day I started back to my hotel room and looked down at the beach and behind the shop for everyone to see was a pare of brown underwear with my name on it! luckily it was my last day there but I don't think I will ever go back!