Coprologist: The tennis player you were thinking of was probably Chris Evert. In the 1982 U.S. Open, she got diarrhea from food poisoning just before the quarterfinal. The U.S. Tennis Assn. refused to postpone the match, and she would not forfeit. Chrissy went out on the court and utterly destroyed her opponent, runs and all. I never heard if she had an accident, though its possible to hide an Attends under those frilly tennis briefs. Evert went on to win the tournament. She also got sick again at the USO some years later and forfeited. Please note that the USO is held in Flushing Meadows!! Also, I remember actress Doris Day talking about wetting herself at a talent show when she was little. This is in her autobiography, "Her Own Story".
Shortly before I wrote this contribution, I felt the need to take a dump...However, rather than the large logs that I normally pass, this one was only about a total of 8 inches long, divided into three pieces, and relatively soft...Because of its being soft, I had to use several wads of toilet paper to make sure I got everything, as the last of it did squish, but it didn't drop into the bowl...I must say from experience that I prefer the "clean dump", where nothing makes a mark on the toilet paper, but that very seldom happens, generally only when I have been constipated for several days and then only when the majority of the dump that is passed is marble sized or small sausage size and hard, thus no marks...Of course though, I do know that a lot of the time, if I cramp up to the point that it hurts just before I pass the marbles, I sometimes, as much as I hate to say it, have to grab several pieces of toilet paper, and get my bowel moving by sticking a finger up my butt to dislodge the "plug" in order to get things started...Does anyone else, when they are constipated, have to do that, or do they use suppositories or laxatives, which, by the way, I don't use either...
BMG & Young
My ISP sucks! They just changing back bone and the internet connection become ultra slow...I'll try to post to this forum a few times but none of them posted. If this one do not posted I don't know where to go... Maybe I'll change my ISP! Oh Young still in the toilet, and I heard she's passing quite a massive job!
Hi gang! Continuing on where I left off with my camping trip story,I was sitting by a waterfall up in the mtns, when I had to go. I walked for about 40 feet up a trail until I found a fairly secluded spot. I had been holding it for two days, and there was no holding back now. I looked around carefully, undid my pants and squatted down. I was just starting to go, when I heard the sound of female voices coming up the trail. Many voices. I'm sure that they belonged to a church group that was camped not too far from us. It made me really nervous, but there was nowhere else to go. The voices got louder as I started to push out a real long fudgie. They rounded the bend and stood there for a second in shock and surprise. There must have been about 12 girls altogether, ranging anywhere from 12 to 16 yrs. old. The older girls pretended not to notice and kept walking, but they did look over their shoulder a couple of times. Some of the younger ones tried to hide behind some trees to take in the whole show. I started squeezing out more as I could'nt stop. I looked up and the older girls were standing about 20 feet up the trail yelling at the younger ones. "C'mon let's go!!" With that, a bunch of younger girls came running out of the bushes behind the trees like they were on fire. My frontal portion was covered up, so there was nothing to see. After the initial shock, I was'nt embarrassed any more, but I think I would have been if anybody had come by and caught me burying the poop. It was a great classic sculpture too! As it turns out, the old Snooper got snooped on!
I really enjoy the posts which describe experiences people have had which involved shitting in something other than a toilet, such as a table top or a bucket. Lately I find myself imagining what it would be like to watch someone, completely naked, squatting over a bucket, watching as each turd is slowly pushed out of the buttocks to then land into the bucket with a hollow thud. Another interesting scenario, would be someone shitting on a styrofoam plate. I'm surprised to learn that Moira has experienced with the utility of a bucket. I would love to hold a bucket as someone takes a shit in it. While Silent Spice wishes to watch one of the Backstreet Boys taking a shit, I would give anything to watch Leonardo DiCaprio taking a shit. My dream would be to watch him as he is sitting on the toilet, grunting, straining and farting, listening to the crackling noises his turds would make while sliding out of his butt and then hearing the resounding splashes they would make as they would land at the bottom of the toilet. Afterwards, I would look into the toilet to see what he has produced. Whew! I am getting turned just by writing about it!!!
OK, I thought I ought to add to this site, 'cos I've been reading it for quite a while. I remember the main accident I had in my pants from primary school (=grade school) very clearly. This happened about half-way through the Infant I year (age 6 - second year of school). We had a student teacher with the class to get experience teaching little kids, and after lunch one day she took us out of our classroom, across the school and into the Junior part (ages 8-11), where we were to get to try making clay models in the art section. At the time, I was really shy about asking to go to the toilet, because I got embarrassed and thought I'd sound stupid. We'd just finished a big dinner, and I was quite full. We sat on long benches facing in towards the worktable, and I was next to the teacher. About 10 minutes into the lesson, I felt I started to need to do a pooh - I thought I'd be able to hold on 'til playtime anyway, as I usually could. I kept modelling the clay, but I felt the need to go getting worse and worse. After about 20 minutes more, I was really desperate, and ready to start thinking about asking the teacher if I could go, but I realised I didn't know where the toilet was in this bit of the school, and I thought I'd sound totally stupid if I had to ask. I kept holding on, and the urge alternatively eased off and then came back stronger, again and again. I started to feel a pain near my pubis, and I was really only concentrating on holding in the pooh - playing with clay only made me need to go more. I should have realised the pain meant I was never going to hold it in, but I just couldn't bring myself to ask, and I still thought the urge would pass and I'd make it to break - there was about 30-40 minutes left, and I hadn't needed it 20 minutes before, but I didn't realise this - the time just seemed to pass so slowly. I was sitting on the bench, just holding onto my pooh and getting up to the courage to ask to leave, when suddenly I just let go, and I felt soft, warm pooh oozing out all over my pants (white Y's as I recall). I didn't try to lever myself off the bench or anything, it just kept coming out whilst I sat there - I was a bity shocked, and I didn't know what to do. Eventually I managed to control it again, but I was sitting in an unbelievable pile of pooh. The teacher soon noticed the smell, and said 'Do you need to go to the toilet?', so I said yes and asked where to go. There was a single cubicle, so I went in and took down my pants. They were coated on every surface with semi-liquid, orange pooh. I sat down and did lots more into the toilet, and then (automatically) wiped a bit with shiny toilet roll, which came away absolutely orange. I never thought to do anything about my pants, 'cos the mess was so big there wasn't much I could do. I went back to the class and kept making clay stuff 'til the break, and the teacher didn't say anything. I'd got over the shock, and decided that the pooh was OK, 'cos I had been uncomfortable on the hard bench, and now it felt like I had a warm cushion. At break, I told some friends what had happened, and they were just interested because similar things had happened to them. Over the whole of break I'd started feeling I needed to pooh again, so at the end I was feeling desperate again and I went to the Infant I toilet. However, as I was standing in the entrance, I suddenly realised that if I was going to get into trouble for poohing my pants, I'd get into less trouble if I'd made a worse mess, as it would look more like I couldn't control it - I was very worried about what my parents were going to say. I also thought it'd be nice to have even more warm, soft pooh to sit in in the next lesson - so I just let it all out. None of it came out of my pants, but it was coating everything from the small of my back right round to the front of my stomach, and it squished around as I walked. I then spent the last lesson feeling comfortable, and I explained to my friends why I thought it had been logical to just mess myself again. Again, if the teacher knew what had happened, she didn't say - she knew how shy I was. At the end of the day, after I got home I was sitting on the settee, when my Mum smelt the pooh and asked if I'd had an accident at school. I said I had, so she took me off to clean and change - She wasn't cross with me. A day which had started to go badly wrong ended up turning out OK. After this, I realised how often people in class had accidents, and how worried they were, and they trusted me to tell if they had had an accident, as I'd help them out, as much as a 6-year-old could. I have several more stories about accidents like this, so I might post some more sometime. 'Til then, can more people try and post about how they remember having accidents when they were at primary/grade school? Most people either ignore accidents they had when they were very little or are embarrassed, but I managed it :) I've ! worked out at least 85-90% of people (especially blokes) had at least one accident on their way through school, so there should be lots of subject matter.
Wednesday, April 29, 1998
I had an experience the other day that seems to be the topic lately. I was out hiking with a friend and felt the need to do jobbies. I mentioned this to my friend as we were too far away from the ladies toilet for me to get back and I tought it was time for a poop in the woods. She stated that shee needed to go to rather badly as she hadent gone in 2 days. We walked a little further looking for a good spot and came across an outhouse by a little shelter the state must have put up in case of a storm. I opened the door and there were 2 holes no seats just holes cut out like toilet seats. My friend went in and I was going to give her privacy and wait when she said I thought you had to go too, come on in if you want theres 2 holes. I went in and closed the door. She already had her pants and underpants down and was sitting on the hole grunting a big jobbie out as I heard it leaving her fanny I pulled my pants and underpants down and sat down and let go with some loud gas. Her underpants were yellow mine were purple. She tinkled and let go some gas and anothe grunting seession produced more popping and crackling as she went some more. I grunted and did my jobbies 4 good size ones some weewee and a little more gas. I was wiping my fanny with wet ones I carry as my friend was still pushing out more jobbies, she really needed to go. She said she thought she was finished but she said let me puuuuuussssshhh one more time and sh let go with one of the longest fart I ever heard it must have lasted 15 seconds. She wiped her fanny and pulled up her pants. Didnt stick my head down the holes to check results sorry. I will say for those interested she looked really cute sitting there pushing out her jobbies.
Hi. I've been meaning to post again for a long time, but I just haven't gotten around to it. A brief of who I am: I'm an almost-20 (in June) year old college sophomore who's lactose intolerant ("LI" for short). My friend Jodi introduced me to this forum a couple of months ago. Doug, I love your "headlines!" :-) I usually know when I have to poop (and I poop often), so I don't try to go when I don't have to. I do prefer to sit down when having to go to the bathroom, but my medical condition (LI, more severe than Jodi's) has forced me to sometimes go in the woods. I have peed outside, always along with pooping diahrrea. When I have diahrrea, it is brown liquid! There's usually not a need to wipe afterwards, although I always do (or, at least when I return to a real toilet). I haven't had to go outside since last fall's incident when I had an "attack" while jogging with Jodi. I still have diahrrea at least twice a week, even when watching my diet. I'm going to see another GI (gastroenterologist) doctor next month once I get out of school. I've tried several medications, all of which were useless. I do take Immodium, an anti-diahrreal tablet, after severe bouts of diahrrea; although this solves the diahrrea, I still have gas pains (and a lot of farting!) for 12 hours or so after going. Coprologist, there was an incident several years back when the female winner of the Boston Marathon had diahrrea and menstrual cramps during her run; she was clearly "soiled" by the time she crossed the finish line. I've participated in several 10k (6.2 mi) races and, knock on wood, haven't had any accidents. Khris
To Harry. Your experiences mirror mine as regards outdoors pooping when a teenager. I did exactly the same with two girl schoolmates, Theresa and Angela. This started on one summer lunchtime when we had gone into the local woods and Theresa said she needed the toilet. It was a good distance back to the girls' toilets at school and there were no public toilets near so we suggested she go behind the bushes and we would look out for anyone coming although this area was a good way off the pathway. She lifted her pleated grey skirt and pulled her navy blue cotton school knickers (briefs) down to her knees and squatted. Her wee wee gushed onto the ground making a damp patch then she went "OO! OO!" and pushed a long fat turd out onto the ground. It was about 10 inches long and over 2 inches thck and curved. As I always carried some toilet paper in case of need I gave her some of this to wipe herself. We went on our walk but on the way back Angela also said she needed a jobbie ! and did hers on top of Theresa's. She produced two fat lumps totaling about a foot if combined. I also then felt a need to go and would usually have held it in till I got to the girls' toilet at school, but decided to join in passing a fat 12 inch log on top the other two's motions. This amused us all and although we didnt do this every day and of course sometimes we had already done our motions at home or in the girls' toilets we did it in our secret toilet grove at least once a week until we left school. Since then of course I have only done a motion outside either in an emergency if desperately needing or when in the countryside on a walk or whatever and there are no toilets about. George says he did likewise with a couple of his mates at school too. To Martin I have had the occasional solid formed accident in my panties as an adult, usually this is from not going when I need and trying to hold it in but not making it. This has not very often happened as I usually go when I need. I will however post about this at some future date.
I know a few months ago I said I hate the sound that number two makes but since I do number 2 anyway I am stuck with that sound so I might as well get use to it. I know this sounds wierd but I would actually like to see a Backstreet Boy take a shit! A few nights ago I had a dream when both Nick Carter and Brian Littrell(from BSB)took me into the bathroom with them and I heard the grunting, straining, crackling, farting and plopping noises that you always talk about! It was actually pretty cool. Maybe the reason why I hated it when my sister made me watch hers comes out(I talked about that like in Feb)and I hated the noises she made was because she was my....SISTER!! Maybe cute guys would be diffrent! I would LOVE to watch a BSB do number 2!! What happened to BMG and Young?? Does anyone know?? Moira and George-do you guys still watch each others poop come out like my sister did? You did say you do that now right? Bye! Oh yeah I have 25 school days left until I graduate! I wonder if my mom is still thinking of NOT coming?? Does anyone remember me talking about my MEAN mom?? Bye!
CELESTE: How long did it take you to learn to pee standing up? What method did you use? Celeste, do you have any poop stories? What times of the day do you poop and whare do you feel the urge to poop?
No, Gary, you still didn't get it! Some part of me kept tellling to hold on and never to sit on the toilet and push it out. I's not that I couldn't push , it that msomething wouldn't let me.
Tuesday, April 28, 1998
No, Gary, you still didn't get it! Some part of me kept tellling to hold on and never to sit on the toilet and push it out. I's not that I couldn't push , it that msomething wouldn't let me.
On some of the main highways in this country there are often rest areas where one can pull their car off the road and take a break. I was recently at a rest stop where there were no bathrooms (why any one would build a rest stop without bathrooms I can not understand). A friend I was traveling with needed to take a dump pretty badly. Even worse, she was wearing a pair of far too-tight jeans which made the pressure even worse. Fortunately, we had some tissues in the car so she and I got out and headed for some bushes just far enough out of the view of anyone nearby. She quickly loosened her belt, dropped her pants and bent over. She then pinched several large loaves onto the ground, wiped, then peed on the whole mess soaking everything.
Connie, why didn't the person who left the door unlocked pay the $75 fine? You then would have had your dump in the bushes. ...Fluidity
To Char: Yesterday my husband and I went to a large outdoor event. As usual, I needed to take a pee, so I went off in search of the toilets. What I found was a corner with a long line of people waiting & four portable toilets, the blue type, like on building sites. This was split into 2 ladies & 2 gents toilets. After waiting 9 minutes (I timed it), I went into a toilet. Inside was a bowl with a seat on it which looked too dirty to sit on, & a urinal on the wall. I decided to try to use the urinal. I pulled my jeans & knickers down to my knees, went into a "standing to pee" position, & had a pee. Easy peesy (no pun intended!), apart from a few drips at the end, it worked great! Three months ago I would have had to squat over a dirty bowl filled with urine. Thank you for your advice.
I was interested in Steph's comments on the street toilets variously called superloos or Sanisettes (the Original name). I use them from time to time just for the hell of it, sitting their doing a shit in the little house in the middle of the sidewalk, while outside there are shoppers and business people walking past. 15 min is long enough for most people. Some men could have both a shit and a wank during that time. Indeed if you need to take yourself in hand, it is just as handy as anywhere else and quite private.
I did not see it on television, but I am told by a competitor that the guy who won the London Marathon yesterday had shat himself on the way. You could see the shit stains on his shorts, I was told. Whether this is true I am not certain, but my informant (a female competitor) said that she saw several competitors who had done it in their shorts, and she said that she could smell shit when one man in particular passed her!
WOMEN SITTING TO DO BOTH NUMBERS I am surprised at young ladies having hangups with taking dumps in public toilets. Most of you sit to do both numbers, so what is the hangup? Just grunt a little and pinch a brown worm out when you finish peeing. Do any of you ladies try to poop everytimeyou finish peeing? I enjoyed the Connie's story about her memorable bowel movement. I would have like to have seen her when she had just sat down to go.
I have been wondering how many other people experience urgency to poop or pee and how often. When I was a kid I always found it difficult to wait when I really had to pee, but almost never had difficulty controlling my bowels. I could wait for a very long time when I had to poop, and often did as I didn't like to go at school or even at a friend's house where I would be embarrassed by the smell I left in the bathroom. I had accidents peeing my pants till I was 12 when they stopped for good, but except for a couple of times, once when I was about 8 and again a few years later, I never pooped my pants. These poop "mishaps" were both mistaken farts.
Now that I am approaching 50 I find that I haven't had a problem except on rare occasions with urinary urgency (I define urgency, whether pee or poop, as a situation when you're sure you'll do it in your pants if you don't get relief in a few minutes), but have had many instances over the years starting at around age 30 with urgency to poop. Most of these instances have occurred when I've had diarrhea, but once or twice a year I've been caught short with extreme desperation to poop when I didn't have diarrhea. Usually this occurs when the movement turns out to be both massive and realtively soft, and usually exits *very* quickly once I get my nervous ass onto a toilet seat, and on two occasions before that!
My wife found out about one of these accidents and we talked about it and I confessed to the other one. I was rather embarrassed at first, but she insisted that it's normal for everyone to have 2 or 3 pants-filling accidents over the course of a few decades. She told me it had happened to her and that she had had "hundreds of close calls" and that things could get particularly dicey around the time of her period. She believes that most women by the age of 40 have had 2 or 3 episodes of messing their pants. She know that it has happened to a couple of her friends.
My questions are:
1. Do you find it harder to hold it when you really badly need to pee or when you badly need to poop?
2. Do you ever experience poop urgency when it's a normal poop as opposed to diarrhea?
3. How often (times per year or month etc.) do you experience pee or poop urgency?
Thanks for listening. I hope this wasn't too boring!
It's really easy pee standing up, its just takes practice! A lot of my close friends that are girls piss standing up. My friends and i have been to a lot of clubs where the line for the women's bathroom is outrageous. So we all go out to the parking lot, get in between some cars pull our pants down and relieve ourselves. My friends karen and Tracy often see who can pee the furthest stream. On friday night, we were all at Sonic, this drunk women ordered food and then waited by a menu-board. she could barely speak and then wobbled to find a place to wait for her food. all of a sudden, we heard fu....., and then saw this poor women with a massive arc stream coming from her Vagina. what was amazing was that the arc she got from just squatting. we could tell that many people were horrifeid at what they saw. she must of peed for a whole minute and created a flood on the sidewalk. At the club we go to, its very common to see women urinating in the parking lot, but unsual to see a man peeing.
Moira>> Yes, I have been involved in leaving piles of turds in certain areas along with other guys I knew when I was in my teens...For fear of getting caught, we would only do this at night in area where we normally wouldn't be seen...At that time, we used to see who could produce the largest turd in one dump, and the largest one passed after being measured was 22 inches long and 2 1/4 inches in diameter at its widest with about 1 3/4 on either end...However, I was NOT the person that passed it, the guy that did pass it had been constipated for 10 DAYS and it took him a little over 2 minutes to pass the log, as it came out very slow...Which reminds me of one time when I was in the woods with my dad hunting...He had to take a dump, so he pulls down his jeans, squats, and proceeds to pass a 15 inch job, so I know now that I have inherited a family trait of having a large colon...
Monday, April 27, 1998
Today me and my sister went on a quad with my dad and a few of his friends. I peed before we left but then my dad bought some pepsi and after I drank it I had to pee. It wasnt serious at first but after awhile it got worse. Going over bumps and stuff didnt help any. It just mad it worse. There were no bathrooms around so bushes were the closest to a bathroom I could get so I went there. I was thinking of all the people here that love watching girls go to the bathroom outside and thought that there would be people that like around where we were but I just did my thing. I took all my bottom close off(shoes, socks, pants and undies)and stood up and peed like you guys say you do and it wasnt so bad. Bye!
Pooper Snooper- thanks a lot!! I'l tell my boyfriend about the sitting and the washcloth method. Bye everybody!!
While the subject in this forum has often related to movies which had scenes with someone sitting on the toilet, I have to mention "The Big Hit" which I have seen today. In the movie, Mark Wahlberg's character has to watch a Japanese girl that he and some other guys have kidnapped. Because she was kidnapped at her school, she was wearing a uniform which consisted of a blouse and a skirt. At one point, the girl tells Mark Wahlberg that she has to pee. He then carries her into the bathroom and because she is wearing handcuffs, she tells him that she needs help in pulling her panties down. He pulls her panties down and leaves the bathroom to give her some privacy. For a few seconds, we can see the girl sitting on the toilet as she tells him that she is done. He then goes back into the bathroom and pulls her panties back up. It's just too bad that all she had to do was pee! Moira, I'm sorry to hear that you were feeling under the weather recently. What probably made it worse is that George wasn't there to assist you during your difficult pooping sessions. I hope that things have gotten better both healthwise as well as pleasurewise. To Harry, the only thing I have to say is wow! Your 4 feet of shit is quite an achievement. While it was a personal record for you, it got me thinking that there should be a section for record-breaking turds in the Guiness Book Of World Records. There could be special mentions for the biggest and longest turds as well as for the highest amount of turds passed in one sitting.
Joe Willie, it is true that my favorite segment of the shit-making process is the straining. It seems like you had quite some exciting rituals during your school-day parties. It's just too bad I wasn't there to j! oin in all the fun.
On the subject of girls standing up to pee, hasn't anyone tried peeing with legs spread on both sides of the toilet? Maybe that would stop the flow from running down one's legs. I, myself, have never tried peeing standing up but it seems like the most logical method would be this one.
To answer Happy Camper's question, I believe that pooping is great foreplay to sex. Because it is so arousing it can really get the erections rising and the juices flowing!
To Newbie (regarding the second technique for women to pee standing) It's possible that your pubis (a bone which is part of the pelvis) is just slightly above your urethra. (the majority of women's pubises are not that close to their urethras, however each woman is different) When you separate your labia and pull up, it might cause your urethra to press up against this "bony" pubis and that could make your stream lose pressure. By gently pulling the inner labia "flaps" out forward slightly as you spread them, you can avoid having the urethra press up against your pubis. Your pee stream should then have full pressure.
Char; I read your post with interest yesterday (Sat. 25th). I am currently trying your method of parting my vagina lips as you described, but I find as I press in with my fingers it tends to slow the stream, much as Newbie describes. The only difference is that I find I now have some conrtoll over wher my pee is going. You say there is another method, maybe if you would share that with me, I could try that also. Steph, I can see what your saying, although I haven`t mastered peeing while standing, I think it is more natural for a girl to sit & pee (or have a dump). The only thing is, as you by now know, I will take all possible steps to avoid sitting on a dirty toilet. I will never take a dump except at home, (unless in an emergency!) & if the toilet is not clean, I will squat over it. My heart goes out to Connie for not wanting to use portable toilets. I wouldn`t use them either, even if I only needed to pee. I can remember waiting at a que for one of these at a firework display, when I got in it I came straight back out, even though I really needed to go. In the end I found some bushes & squated behind them. I figgured I`d rather riskl beeing seen than use that toilet. With regard to the Parisian style toilets, we have them over here. We call them Superloos. They are generally quite clean, & I have used them to pee in, but never for a dump. They cost 20 p to use, & last time one of my freinds(Naimh), came in as well as me. After all, why pay 2 lots of money when there is room for both of us to go in together?
Two interesting points from Joe Willie and Happy Camper. As regards Happy Camper's question about pooping being a form of foreplay, I can answer a definite YES as can my husband George. As regular readers of this website know, we accompany each other to the toilet when needing a motion at home, (or anywhere else if that's possible) and often we have really enjoyable sex afterwards. Reading this site confirms that many people are turned on by defecation both the autoerotic effects from doing a good solid large formed stool oneself and from hearing or watching another person doing one or seeing the turd they have passed. Both of us have had such feelings of arousal since childhood as I have written before, though it would seem that boys and men are more turned on this way than girls and women. I suppose this is partly due to males being more fetishistic than females, (at least that what the "experts" claim), and to the more direct physical stimulation that males experienc! e such as erections when passing a large solid turd from pressure on the prostate gland as it is pushed out of the rectum. Freud also claimed that the human went through the stages of Oral, Anal, and Genital in the evolution of their sexuality so the Anal aspect is within us all but suppressed in many by societal or parental conditioning, being labeled "dirty" etc.
On Joe Willie's point about "plate job" parties, I have read of such activities here in the UK as well. I havent personally done a motion onto a glass coffee table, the nearest I have performed being to pass a big jobbie, (as thick as one of Joe Willie's ropes) into a plastic bucket that George was holding at the time, and he has done likewise with the roles reversed. Afterwards we emptied it down the toilet pan in the normal manner and not into a Kentucky Chicken box or anything like that! (Is that a critique of fast food Joe Willie?). As a teenager there were a couple of my girl school friends who were like me into defecation and we did let each other watch when we did a jobbie and I also let my brother watch me and vice versa. Before I met George I also got a previous boyfriend to accompany me to the toilet when I needed a motion by asking him to rub my ???? as I was constipated. It did seem to turn him on slightly but he wasn't really into such things. Another teenage habit of myself and the same two girls Theresa and Angela, was to do our motions in the woods near our school. Lots of pupils used to go there either if playing truant from lessons, wanting to smoke , or even for a bit of sex, (our school was co-ed). Myself and the other two would often hold our motions in if safe to do so and have a joint jobbing session in a secluded part of the woods. We were all on the ???? side and tended to pass really big fat logs. Over the course of time a big pile of long fat jobbies collected. George says that he also used to do the same with a couple of his mates from their school. I understand outside pooping in woods etc is quite popular with US readers of this site. I suppose its the forbidden fruit effect again and the risk factor of being seen by someone. Readers comments, especially fellow Brits would be of interest.
I have to agree with the other guys about peeing with an erection...It is far easier to sit down on a toilet and pee rather than standing up at a toilet with said erection...However, there are differences in that there are two types of erections, and the "full bladder" erection is generally for me, lost, when I start to empty my bladder, and also isn't quite as hard as the erection caused by sexual arousal...Anyway that is my experience between the two types...
Jay and Paige
Hi all...I promised everyone my Toilet Travelogue of our trip to Europe so here goes. First off, I haven't read every account of European plumbing variations but I can say that without exception, there are major design flaws...and I say this as an "end-user" layperson, not a techical professional. Since I rarely experienced American toilets stopped up by massive dumps through the years, I couldn't imagine why there was such a proliferation of such stories by people in the forum posting from the UK. Now I know. We landed at God-forsaken Gatwick and managed to get to the off-site car rental place at the Moat House where we all took our very first European-style dumps. The force of the water upon flushing was violent but served to prevent streaks rather well. Moira's references to shitpiles landing on the forward slope rang familiar as I looked back into the bowl to see my one of my most recent American meals processed and deposited on another continent. We hit the road as newbie Yank drivers in a hideous Volkswagen minivan that was supposed to be a Toyota Previa that seated 8...this one seated 7...and headed off to our first night in Canterbury. We checked in at Chaucer Inn...amazingly traversing the steep learning curve of driving on the left side of the road in a right-driving vehicle. Literally, it was fun...jetlag notwithstanding--after all, it was 3 AM body clock time--and the Matchbox 20 song was ringing in my brain because of it! When Paige took her first shit in our room at the Inn, the toilet promptly stopped up and we had to call the "engineering" department to fix the problem. Paige was a bit embarrassed to have the workman to see her perfectly extruded triplex of sausages, but literally, it was tough shit for her, unless she wanted to hang her ass out the second story window and go for it next time. She got on well with the ruffian who showed up and he managed to repair the problem amid a steady stream of jokes from Paige who was, perhaps, nervously trying to divert attention from the obvious. Things worked well except we had the absolutely most heinous fast food at both the BK and McDonalds in Canterbury before bedding down at 7 PM due to jet lag. No major G-I distress from those meals, just a lot of system breakdown such as being out of condiments, napkins, straws and some rowdy clientele--a young woman who was ejected onto the street by the manager--probably a pathetic local drunk. Except for the usual symphony of farts from our teenagers who range in age from 13 to 17, no one, amazingly, fired off any liquid shit the entire trip...cept me, returning from Stratford-Upon-Avon and having to take an explosive dump in one of the Granada rest areas way outside the M25. I had the privilege of shitting on top of someone else's chub-roll sized turd since the loo wouldn't flush and all of the stalls were taken! Thankfully, I had my Sani-Wipes for the surfaces and my Cottonelle flushable wipes for my bottom hole and crack...and I emerged a happy guy, ready to continue the trip into London where we witnessed the orgy that is Harrod's from 4 PM to closing, is a non-American 7 PM. And you can bet that I went to the pay loo on an upper floor, showed the attendant that we'd spent over 100 GBP in the place (did that the first 5 minutes in the place, easy) so he let me in and I felt like the friggin Shah of Iran with gold (?) plumbing and completely private WCs! It was a glorious shit in Harrod's...one of the most memorable. I guess the tariff for the loo without the cash hemorrhage from purchases was around 2 GBP. Worth every shilling! More later as this week progresses...including the Eurostar and trying to find and photograph freshly deposited fecal creations by our own Jill...no luck...by the time we hopped the tube out at Golder's Green it was 11 PM and I had other things on my mind than inspecting the train loos. I did manage to hear a nice dump from a woman who had just made it to the girl's room in the restaurant known as Soho Soho near the St. Marten's theater where we saw the Mouse Trap on Saturday night...for some reason, the door wouldn't close and I loitered on the phone before going into the men's room to pass my own jobbies... The references to inhuman "hole in the ground" toilets rang shockingly true outside Notre Dame in Paris as the public facilities were closed and we had to go into a brasserie adjacent to the cathedral. Well! In my life I've never seen such an appalling place to relieve oneself! My daughter, who was on her period, was horrified as she looked in on her first "hole with two runners on each side" toilet in the basement of this French restaurant. Someone please explain the origin of these ghastly facilities!
Sunday, April 26, 1998