Chef AJ :-)
My freezer is on the blink at this time, so I don't get lots of frozen foods. If I want a frozen dinner, I pick it up, bring it home, and use it right away.
So, I got a tuna noodle casserole and some macaroni and cheese with the idea of preparing the casserole (single serving, as is the macaroni and cheese) first, eating it, and, then, preparing the macaroni and cheese.
I felt as if I could poop at any time, but I felt more hungry than poopy so I went ahead and fixed the casserole and ate it.
A little bit after it was eaten, I decided to fix the macaroni and cheese.
I got it out of the refrigerator (which DOES work--splendidly!) and put it into the microwave.
I suppose that I could have lasted until after I'd finished eating, but my poop was making me uncomfortable enough that I decided to lose it.
Only one problem.
The food preparation took only two or three minutes, so I had to go back and forth to the bathroom.
Turned on the microwave, went to the bathroom, wiped initially as soon as poop easily slithered out. Flushed. Washed my hands. Went back into kitchen for the next stage.
Remove film (which had been slit before first round) from dish enough to stir. Replace film and cook for another couple of minutes.
While it cooked, I returned to the bathroom, wiped some more, flushed, washed my hands, and went back for round three:
Turn off and let sit.
It was only necessary to let it sit for a couple of minutes, but I then went to the toilet, finished wiping, flushed, washed my hands, and removed the delicious macaroni and cheese from the oven and took it to where I ate it (on a tray placed beside my computer).
Now, I bet Martha Stewart has never done anything like that on her cooking show, so eat your heart out, Martha!
Chef AJ :-)
Does anyone have any haunted house stories where they went to a haunted house attraction around halloween time with friends and someone had an accident?
Just yesterday I went to see the movies with my pals. I bought a large coke and drank it all. I really had to pee but I thought I could hold it 'til the movie was over. Well at the end of the movie I ran to the washroom but their only washroom was being used!! Needless to say I peed my pants, and some of my meaner pals told everyone what happened!!
Punk Rock Girl
Well, it happened. I shit my pants. I was sick most of last week, just feeling like crap. I was puking my brains out and shitting my guts out all Thursday and Friday, and Colin took me to the hospital. They gave me some suppositories to ease my stomach and some fluid to rehydrate me from all the diarrhea.
I felt a little better Saturday and still better Sunday. I decided to give myself one more day yesterday and stayed home. I was working on my laptop on the couch when I felt like I had to fart. I let it rip and filled my pants with sticky, smelly, chunky shit. I yelled "OH GOD!"
I stood up, felt it start oozing dowm my thighs, squishing all over my ass. I waddles to the bathroom, got in the shower and turned the water on and peeled my shit filled pants off.
Nasty. I haven't shit my pants in a loooooooooong time. It happened the same time last time (I thought it was a fart), except that time I was at work and wearing a thong!!!!!
Another shitty misadventure to add to my poor bottom's list.
this happened last week. im 24 and a nurse i work in A and E. i'd finished shift and was in the back of the car with three frineds 9it was my friends car) when i needed to pee quite badly. been a nurse you'd think i'd realise what was happening because i'd had stomach ache all day but ignored it mostly because ihave a problem admitting when i'm sick. anyway i held it for a while and started to feel quite ill. without warning my friend swered to avoid a dog. i knew i was dribling pee but my concern at this piont was the fact i was sick a bit into my hand. of course my friend Aly shouted stop the car and shoved my out to throw up outside. because i was concentrating on this a flooded my pants with pee. luckly my uniform is datk blue so they couldn't see. i applogised for getting car sick and spent the next ten minutes been asked if i was ok because i looke dill.
needless to say i wasn't i still needed to pee and it was dribbling out. a was fidgiting bad and actually had my hand pressed gainst my crotch. i then becan to feel my bowles strain and in seconds i was desperate to go by now we were at the ned of the strret and seconds away from mine and Aly's house. not been embarresed i shouted. "i need to go REAl bad" and with that grabbed my butt with my free hand havign to puss to hold on. Aly began fumbling for the keys as we pulle dup i soehwo got out the car holdign my butt pee was leakign badley again.
there are three steps up to my house i wa shalf way up one when a cramp hit and i let lose with a very load fart.i couldn't stop or move. it was pure liquid at frst and ran staright down my legs then musy and buldged my pant so bad. aly had to shove me indoors. as i walked it fell down my legs and onto the mat. it wa obad there wasthis little pile of liquied poo spilling everywhere. my other friend Lisa politly left us to it so to speak. i had a short interlude and manged to move myyself towards the bathroom. just as i got in the doorway a major movement took hold. i actually feel to my squatting because it was toopainful to stand up and let rip. it exploded big time. so bad that instead of going down it came up and over the top of my troussers. it was like cream cheese constistancy. poor aly was trying to get me over to the toilet. this wave last about oen mintue and i rippd my troussers of an dleft them in a pile there on the floor. i think aly dumped them in a bin bag. anyway i'm onthe toilet my legs back and arse coated in poo. by now i feel horrible. sick sweety and i'm still peeing not fast just dribling. i then had the worst experience ever. i felt cramps roll through my stoach and got ready for the wrong end. before i had tiem to move i vomitied onto my legs twice. Aly came runnign in and placed the trash can in front of me and atempted to clean me up at which piotn liquid poo exploded out of me so fast it burned. them about twenty mushy logs each around four inches long. now i'm sweating covered in a mixture of vomit pee and poo so i must smell somehting bad. then i got such a strong erge to go but couldn't. i started grunting and aly was trying to get me to say what was wrong.
"i have to go but i can't" i screamed at her as she wipped my down. it felt like my butt was been ripped open. after five minutes straining in which i got sick again this huge log came out. it was at least six inches long and about four in diamiter by butt blead after. unfortuantly at this piont i was dehydrated so when waves of mushy poo came out afterwards i passed out! aly likes to tell me this part. i fell farwds still going and laid on the bthroom floor liquid poo running out while she phoned a ambulance.
ye si ened up back at work in th most embarreseing way. having to go in bed pans in fron tof oeple you know i was mortifyed at first but inthe end i got ove rit and actually shuted at ward sister i need a new pan because the one i had wasn't big enough!
If any man was to reject you because you wet the bed, then he definitely does NOT love you!
Any man worthy of you would not be put off by it at all. Just read these posts and you will find that many men would be turned on by it. At any rate I recommend that you do not have sex until you are married, it will help you have life time marriage.
To all those who end up with sore butts after having a big poo, if you know your going to have a large poo lubricate your bottom with somthing like oil, hemarohid cream or suppository meant only for lubrication. Soap can be a little harsh.
Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted at the beginning of the month. I have two storries for you. The first happoned back in college. I lived in a dorm on the side for men, so it only had a mens room but it just had stalls. So some people on my floor were having a party and were pretty drunk. As you can guess they had to use the can some. There were some girls over and this brings me to the point of the story. I was in a stall in the mens room pooping. I had just sat down on the toilet when the bathroom door opened and one of the guys asked "Is anybody in here?" Of cource I kept quiet because I knew what was coming. He told the girl "OK" and she walked in and took the stall next to me. After she closed and locked the stall door she pulled down her panties and sat down on the pot. She then began peeing a steddy stream whitch made sweet music for about fourty-five seconds. When she was finished she wiped her pussy and flushed. After she left I farted a lowd blast into the toilet and had a few big plopps and peed and wiped my butt and flushed.
My second story is another story about my mom. This was when I was little She said I have to go potty and walked into the bathroom. She pullled down her pants and sat. She then said "I have such a full bladder. when she started to pee, I asked her where is the little hole near your bottom? And she said I don't know I can't see it. She peed for roughly two minutes and then she wiped and got up and flushed. After she pulled her pants up she left the bathroom and went to make lunch.
I love the peeing and pooping stories. And also I wonder if Gruntly Bogwell read my story back on 1434 about my sister-inlaw.
I have to go for now but I'll post again soon. Buy for now.
I am a grad student and some of my classes are 2 hours long. A lot of times I pee right before class, during our break an hour in and again after class. That's like 3 times in 2 hours. Then I can go for hours upon hours without going. I think this is really strange.
So, yesterday, I had an hour and a half long class and we don't have a break in that one. I had some apple cider in the morning before I left, chocolate milk in the car, and a large cup of coffee. About a half hour before class ends, the boy sitting next to me leaned over and whispered "I need to go to the bathroom" and I whispered back "Me too, but I don't want to leave" A few minutes later, he got up and left and was gone for 5 minutes. At this point, not only was company knocking on my back door, but also had to pee. I could not focus on the very difficult material we were covering. Oh, the door is in the front of the classroom, so behind where the professor stands. So I got up and went and rushed to the bathroom. There are 3 stalls. The first one doesn't flush very well and people don't take the time to flush it properly, so it is always clogged with toilet paper. You'd think by the time people get to grad school... So I went to the farthest one against the wall and had a nice poop and pee. It took me about 3 minutes. I don't understand how it takes people so long to poop. Usually when I get the urge it's 1-2-3 done. So, I wiped, washed my hands and went back for the last few minutes of class. I hated to leave, especially 10 minutes before the end, but I really couldn't focus. I exchanged notes with the guy sitting next to me for the time when we were gone. After class he said "I don't know what is going on today." And I said "I dunno, must be the coffee." He agreed.
Today, going to school my stomach hurt and I really needed to poop, but there was no where to stop. By the time I got to school, the urge had gone away. During the 5 minute break, I had to talk to the prof for a minute, and then I ran out to go. I went to a different floor because it's a large class and only 3 toilets in the bathroom. Again, I took the stall closet to the wall away from the door. There was someone in the middle stall. Usually I wait for everyone to leave the bathroom, but I was in a hurry because it was such a short break and I didn't leave right away. So, I started going while the girl was washing her hands. It was a noisy one in that there were a lot of plops. She was gone by the time I was done and I wiped, flushed, washed my hands and rushed back to class making it just in time.
I was sixteen at the time, out on a school field trip in London. We were a mixed group of twelve boys and girls and were on our way along the banks of the Thames moving up towards the Southwark area. Thelma and I needed to pee urgently but our teachers told us that we would have to hold on as there were no public toilets in the area.
A few drops escaped into the crotch of my knickers and I could see Thelma squeezing her thighs together in desperation. It was no good, I just could not wet myself so put my hands under my gymslip and pulled my knickers down to my knees. Three of my friends stood in front of me as I squatted and peed and peed. The stream ran into the pathway making it obvious to those who passed by what was happening. The boys of our group crowded around to watch until Mr. Baker caught them and made them move away. I used my hankie to dry myself, stood up and put my knickers back into their rightful position.
Turning, I was horrified to see Thelma lose the battle as a stream of pee ran down her black stockings forming a puddle on the pavement. When she had finished she was close on tears but we hid her as she took off her soaked knickers and put them into her satchel. For the rest of the day she was knicker-less which caused some embarassment when the wind, by the river, blew the hem of her gym-slip high without warning.
Back at school we were both given two strokes of the strap on each hand for not using the toilets at Waterloo station. We had wandered off and lost the chance to make ourselves 'comfortable'.
to Emma: do you still like to hold your poo in for as long as possible, or is it just something you did as a kid? to Andrea: thanks for your reply hun! i've got another question for you- is it just chinese food that makes you need to poo straight after, or are there other meals that have the same effect on you?
Are there any healthy women out there who wear diapers/protective underwear on a consistent basis? I've been a little nervous about the performance of my bladder lately, because this is the third night in a row I've woken up wet. Right now it's almost 4 in the morning, and I'm here talking about how I'm wetting the bed.
Since the first time I posted, I've been wearing diapers when I'm feeling insecure about my bathroom situation. Luckily for me I had the presence of mind to put one on before going to sleep. I'm gonna wear one to work, like I've done every now and again for the last couple of days.
I don't have any medically recognized problems with my bladder, and I'm convinced this is just a phase. But I'm worried about wetting myself. SO for the time being I'm just gonna diaper myself. Has anyone else done this? Furthermore, how could I possibly explain my situation to my 4-year-old daughter? Yesterday morning she spotted my wet panties on the bathroom floor and I was flabbergasted that I forgot about them. Would it be hard for her to understand if I told her that adults wet themselves too? I hope not.
Once I peed my pants on the way home from school. A bunch of girls and one of their boy friends was walking in back of me and laughing and making fun of the wet spot on my butt and down my legs. I was trying not to cry from all their teasing and because my urine wet jeans was pressing my skin making it sting and making my walking stiff and awkward looking because of my wet pee pants rubbing and stinging on my skin, especially up between my legs.
Everyone could see I peed from my crotch to my socks. Some girls were coming the other way down the sidewalk, just slowly walking and talking. One of them dropped her books and starring at me and laughing when she saw I'd wetted into my pants and down my legs. My socks and shoes felt all wet and squishy. The other girls weren't laughing. They just stopped and stared and opened their mouths or covered with their hands.
When I got home my sister's girl friends saw me coming through the window and started teasing me as I walked through the door. I started crying and chocking on tears and mucus while trying to tell them to "just go home!" My sister asked them to stay and help her change her big brother's diaper. I got more angry and said, "Haven't you ever had an accident?" One of them said, "Not since I wore diapers."
My sister and her friends were in eighth grade and I was in the tenth. One of her friends said she had a pamper in her purse for her twelve year old sister who sometimes has accidents in her pants on car trips, and most recently at the mall when the bathrooms were closed for cleaning.
I was mad and embarrassed at the same time and started crying and couldn't stop while they wouldn't stop giggling or staring at my wet pants and whispering to each other. I hated it!
I have a laxative story! Recently i've been constipated slightly, so i thought i'd take some laxatives to get things moving. Anyway, i took the recommended dosage and nothing happened except some ripe smelling farts. So the next night i took a little more than the suggested on the box. In the morning i woke up with a slight stomach crap and some gurgling, but nothing major. I did go to the toilet, and pooed a smallish amount of runny diarrhea. I thought that would be it, as i felt nothing afterwards. Then dad asked me to drive him to work to which i said yes. Then when i was on my way home, my stomach started to rumble and feel gassy. I could feel some kind of movement in my bowels. The drive home was about 20min, but it felt like an eternity. I could feel strong waves of diarrhea building up at my butt hole, waiting to escape so i knew i couldn't fart to relieve the pressure. My stomach started churning and making gurgling sounds. I copped every slow driver in the universe on that trip! When i could, i was burning down the streets to get home in time and i knew it would be touch and go. Then i got caught in some traffic and as some of the pressure waves had gone, i raised one butt cheek slightly to gently let out a fart. Before i could control it, the fart shot out some rancid smelling diarrhea. Luckily it was only small, but i had to sit in it all the way home. When i was home and got out of my car i lost total control in the driveway and a torrent of liquidy, chunky diarrhea ran into my pants. My butt hole was on fire and i knew it would be red raw. I couldn't move and i was leaning on my car until i felt safe to make the dash inside. Finally i started to waddle inside, but with each step came more uncontrollable waves of diarrhea until it oozed out the leg of my undies and out of my shorts. When i got to the door i let out a massive fart and moaned in pain while i held my stomach and fumbled for the keys. Carefully i walked inside to the toilet where i sat down and had at least 5 more waves of diarrhea. By this time i was sweating all over and was doubled over while this flood of yellowy brown diarrhea shot into the toilet. By this time, my butt was in agony. After about 45min it subsided and i got into the shower. When i got out my butt hole was raw and i found some lanoline cream to help soothe it. That day i had 4 more emergency trips to the toilet and 1 accident that was again a fart in disguise. Without my knowing, a massive shot of green squelch fired into my undies.
I'm feeling slightly better now, but the diarrhea continued for a few days after. Unfortunately i was forced to use the toilets at uni quite often, and boy did i get some smirks when i walked out! Everyone could hear the splotsplishsplash pfffffftttt of my uncontrollable diarrhea. Luckily its over now!
please post more diarrhea stories i love reading them
Josh. Tell me the story!
I can remember 2 childhood accidents. Since I'm 60, that's a pretty good memory, must have been significant experiences. First, I was about 5. We lived in a rural hilly area, my best friend lived about a third of a mile away through the woods. My dad had made a path to his house that I'd walk to his house. One day, I was dressed in period clothes of the early 50s, blue/white pinstriped jumper (bib overalls but short legged), T shirt and tennies. I was walking through the woods an not quite to the clearing by his house when I had the urge for a bm, really bad. I must have tried to keep walking, rather stiff legged, but I remember knowing I couldn't hold it. I stopped and pooped my pants, rather nicely. I wondered what to do next...I think I pulled down my jumper and briefs (always wore Jockey briefs, still do) and found rather mushy tan colored poop filling my briefs. I stepped out of my clothes and walked, rather awkwardly because of poop sticking to my bum, of course, home in my T shirt and tennies. Since it was rural, no one would have seen me walk out of the woods to my house. When I got to the front door I called to my mom to come and help. I told her I'd pooped my pants in the woods. She took my hand and had me lead her to my pants. When we got to them, she picked up my messy pants, pitched the briefs and their poop in the woods and walked me and my jumpers back home. Thank God for understanding moms!
The second accident was probably a couple or so years later. I was at a small suburban movie theater (10 cents a show) with my cousin. I had to pee during the movie so I went and asked a man where the mens room was. He pointed to a dark door down the hall. It looked so scary I didn't want to go there. I thought I could wait but the urge to pee was too strong. I thought I'd leave the theater and walk to my grandma's and back. Problem was, the pressure was too much. I got about 5 of the six blocks there, grabbing my crotch and penis to keep from losing it. No dice. I began hobbling and dribbling as I walked, pee running down my crotch of my jeans and down my tennies. By the time I got to her walkway I had to let go completely, totally peeing my pants. What a deal!
BTW, I remember as a child, for some reason, I was always facinated by people going to the bathroom. I remember wanting to hear them peeing in the toilet. I'd hang outside the bathroom door to hear the "tinkle". Even better, if I went to the bathroom to pee and someone had forgotten to flush and there was pee or even bm in the toilet, I was even more facinated. Rather silly, but real, none the less.
Has anyone ever seen those infomercials they show later at night for the colon cleanser thing.. that it removes the "demons" or such? Then they proceed to show a long black rope of stuff that was removed? Has anyone actually tried this?
I am about your age and urinary incontinent. Everything will be okay. I have a B.S. an A.S. and many certificates. I am on this site because a friend told me abotu you and I want to help. I would post my e-mail on her but I am afraid a sick person will get it. I wear "protection" most of the time, especially in long classes and at night. I hope things get better for you. I will check back on you whenever possible.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
You __(what u do here)__ when u are in desperate need of a loo, but there are none in sight.
I just hold "down there" and pray ill find a bathroom
You would rather pee along the road then struggle to hold it while looking for a loo. True / False
false its too risky
When was the last time you wet yourself and why? (Etc. Too lazy to wake up, couldn't hold it ...)
when I was 13. The teacher refused to let me go because I was talking back but I ran out the room anyways but flooded the bathroom floor lol
Is there a particular drink / food that makes you tend to pee more?
(I have a friend who CANNOT drink coffee or else she'll hog the loo)
yep coffee and tea
Pick a moment in your life that you were (or you think) was the most desperate, state what happened in the end. (etc You made it to a loo or you wet yourself...or you peed along the road...)
uhm makin sure i didnt pee my self on a ride in the amusment park 2 wks before when i peed my self in class but it scared the crap outta me and i soaked my girlfriend and she broke up with me *sniffle*
Greg (Mike's Friend)
My last posting about Fred, a really big good looking guy I worked with at a summer camp for a couple of seasons made me think of another really cool experience I had with him the same season as when my last story about him took place.
Remember, I said that Fred was a big guy, about 6'5 and 235 pounds. As you can figure, big guys generally take big dumps, and with Fred it was particularly pronounced as he was quite active and ate like a very hungry HORSE. Active lifestyles need lots of food for fuel and this guy could put it down like nobody's business. Of course, lots of food in the stomach now generally means LOTS of shit in the rectum later on causing powerful throbbing GI contractions and Fred was prone every now and then to an occasional SERIOUS toilet emergency.
One particularly bad emergency occurred one late June morning when I had already gone down to the restrooms in the basement below the cafeteria in the main camp. I had seen Fred a half hour before packing down his usual bacon and eggs with coffee, oatmeal, and raisin bran. I mean, it was ALL the good stuff that makes you SHIIIIIT!!!
Well, I'm sitting there in this stall that is rather tight for even me (I was 5'8 and 145 pounds at the time, and remember that Fred is 6'5, 235....) I swear, I think these stall were designed with Munchkins in mind, or at least very young children and were barely marginally suitable for an average adult, much less someone of Fred's stature. The toilets were rather low and small and had even ME nearly in a squat position to sit on them. I mean, would it really have been THAT much of a problem to make the stalls JUST a tad larger??? And the toilets themselves must have had seats that were probably a good 5 inches below the point where my knee bends.
Well, as I'm sitting there dropping several logs of my own, I faintly heard these steps come hauling tail down the steps. A moment later, I hear the restroom door bang open and I hear this low cutting bass voice gasping as it came toward me..... Then, I see these unmistakable pair of size 18 shoes quickly enter the stall. The partitions were quite low and when I looked up, I saw Fred wearing a particularly desperate look on his face as he turned around to secure the door.
"Yo Fred!! How you doing?" I asked already knowing from his look and his actions that he was badly loaded with shit and had to let loose something fierce.
"Sorry in advance about the smell.." Fred replied as he hurriedly went about his preparations to shit, "But I have to take a SERIOUS shit..."
I could see Fred's worried look on his face and he really was struggling inside that tight stall to even maneuver and get his pants down in time.
"Are you even going to FIT in here?" I asked. "You'd have a lot more room in the bathrooms at the other end of the Quad." I suggested knowing that my suggestion wasn't going to change anything and I WAS GOING to get to witness Fred take a major shit.
"I thought about making a run for it, but I realized I couldn't make it there, so I had no choice but to come here." Fred replied as he got his pants down and dropped to the floor. The restrooms I was referring to were at most a quick 2 1/2 minute walk so I realized Fred must have really been loaded up with a whole bunch of crap.
As Fred finally got his severely loaded throbbing butt into position on the badly-needed toilet, it ruptured, first with a loud fart then with a very strong massive wave of shit and crap mixed with a whole bunch of soft excrement for good measure. Of course, the massive peristaltic waves my badly loaded friend was enduring overpowered Fred rendering him helpless to the point that all he could do was sit with his pants around his calves and feel all that shit just power right through him into the much-needed but somewhat undersized toilet.
As I sat there, I was just stunned just how much shit was coming out of Fred as he sat there helplessly bumming on that toilet just filling it with a whole bunch of excrement.
When the furious wave of crap FINALLY subsided, Fred let out a loud moan/groan to voice his pleasure and his great relief over getting all that shit out of his body.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……." He groaned in that deep cutting bass voice of his.
"Damn Fred!!" I began. "I usually don't make comment on other people's bowel movements, but I HAVE to say this time that I AM IM-PRESSED!!!!!"
"Hey, what can I say," Fred replied almost proudly. "I'm a big boy and I eat a lot!"
"Yeah… I've tended to NOTICE that!" I replied in dismay at his appetite.
It was then that I noticed that Fred's size 18 sneakers were sticking out underneath the door of that rather undersized and almost claustrophobic stall. And I don't mean just the toes, I mean just about the entire feet! I decided I would have some fun with him when I wiped and left.
Just then I heard Fred struggle to get his arm behind him and find the lever to flush his toilet sending his massive and tortuous load down to the netherworld. I was amazed that small toilet could actually handle it.
"Dude!!" I exclaimed in mock anger. "I thought you would give me a LOOK at your masterpiece before you flushed it down!" (Fred had been known to have granted some looks at some of his larger turds before and this one just HAD to have been AM-A-ZING!!"
"Sorry about that dude, but there's plenty more where that came from and I was afraid to overflow the toilet if I didn't break it up."
"No problem." I said as I started to wipe up banging my elbows and arms in that tight stall as I went. I got up and pulled my pants back up. Then as I turned around to pull the flush lever, I found myself able to glance down into Fred's stall where he sat and realized this gave me a great view of this big young guy from his head down to mid torso as he sat there in the throes of a major dump. As I looked in, Fred was looking down slightly and was apparently beginning to bear down in preparation to shit again. Fred then began huffing through his nose with his neck tensing at the effort. A second later Fred's butt started to crackle again as he began diligently grinding out yet another big round of shit. The thing about it was this stall was so small that Fred's broad shoulders and big arms were touching the walls on both sides.
Fred's body was young, big, strong, athletic, lean, well-built, and muscular and a few times, I had the very good fortune of being with Fred when it was also loaded with excrement as it was this time.
"Hey dude," I called to my struggling friend as I pulled the flush lever and his crap continued to pile up in the toilet. "I'm going to wash up and I'll wait for you outside." I said it partly to be friendly, and partly to time him and see how long it might take him to grind the rest of his crap out.
"Sounds great," Replied my bumming friend. "I'll see you outside."
Leaving the stall and seeing Fred's big feet sticking out and I just couldn't resist so I did what any mature 20-year-old does and reached down to untie his shoes.
"Hey!" I said. "Look what I found! A pair of BOATS!!"
"B/t<#!!" Fred exclaimed as he tried to ward me off and keep me from untying his shoes by kicking at me. However, with him sitting on that small toilet in that tight stall and shit still occasionally crackling out of his ass, he was in a rather disadvantageous position and I quickly prevailed and got the shoes untied.
"That does it!" Fred exclaimed. "When I get out of here, I'm kicking your @$$!!"
As I washed up at the sink around the corner, Fred continued to fart and crackle several more times. After a bit I pretended to open the door and leave. Fred then sat with his pants down around his calves still sputtering, farting, and crackling for the next 8 minutes or so.
Finally, I heard Fred start to TRY to wipe but it was a logistical struggle in that tight stall as he could barely get his arms around. Finally, he was able to reach under and get several wipes in before standing to pull his pants back up. I heard Fred unlock the door and open it slightly to avoid banging his head on the door when he bent over to reach for his trousers. When Fred finally flushed, I used the sound camouflage to walk out.
A few moments later, I saw Fred coming up the outside steps. When he saw me, he really rolled his eyes and acted like a train had run him over.
"Whhhhheeeew! Glad THAT'S over!!" He exclaimed.
I wasn't necessarily glad it was over, but at least I could be glad over having had the opportunity to see it happen!
I came in from my morning walk with a poo log wedging its way into the area above my nether hole, threatening to break the sphincter tension and ease into my walking shorts. I went into the bathroom off the kitchen whipped down my yellow shorts, pulled up my blue shorts and sat my skinny white ass down on the commode for relief. A knobby head emerged followed by ragged windy softserve that crackled loudly...emptying the cabbage and bratwurst soup from the previous evening into the toilet and funking up the room. I grabbed a bunch of toilet paper and began wiping my butthole, rubbing it around and back and forth to clean up the after poo residue. Then three more paper and three more passes to get clean, tossing it into the toilet and flushing while still sitting…whoa…the tail of the piled up paper floating on top of the water, which hadn't sunk yet, began to swirl around and tickle my chimes hanging down under me a few times before heading for the bottom. Never, had that happen before…good thing I had just pooped or it would have scared the shit out of me.
Well my fat mother-in-law did it to me again. After my wife left for work, she plodded back to the guest bedroom, her white nightgown caught in the crack of her ass… It wasn't long before she was bellowing my name…I was upstairs getting ready for work, just had put my put my pants on…when I had to go running downstairs to see what the heck was the matter. "What's the matter?" I hollered thumping down the stairs. "Come in here I need you!" was the answer. So I went into the guest bedroom…the door to the bathroom was open and there was her 260 pound self, seated on the toilet, panting. Her white nightgown at her waist her feet in her pink slippers pulled back toward the sides of the commode and her bulging thighs and fat legs exposed. The smell of fetid fart hit me like a ton of bricks. "Don't be so shocked…get in here and hold my hands," she bellowed. "The hell you say," said I. "You did it the other day…you can do it again…I'm con…..(uunnnnggghh)…sti…(umphh)…pated, again, you ninny" She said turning red with the effort, which ended in another of her cannon shot fart. "Yeah, but that was because your back was hurting, I said, starting to leave. "Get over here and help me my bum hurts from trying to poo…I need…your….help," she said lowering her voice.
So, I went over and sat on the edge of the tub and took her hands, she gripped my hands hard and GGGRRRRRuuuuuNNNNNTTTEDD…squeezing them with all her might, her eyes closed and she squinted, gritting her teeth, the sweat popped out on her forehead. A plip, plup, came from under her and echoed in the toilet, followed by a bbbbbbrrrrriiiippppttttt fart. She let go of my hands and grabbed the toilet paper. I said can I go now you, had your movement. But, instead of wiping her ass, she wiped her forehead and panted, and said "No" that was just the beginning, I'm still full and in need of a good shit." She leaned back against the tank and sighed, exposing her fat belly and tuft of gray hair at the vee of her legs. "Don't act so shocked my son-in-law…your wife told me how you peep on her when she is seated on the commode, trying to have a poo. She told me how you hide behind the bedroom door at one end of the upstairs hall and peep through the crack by the hinges, when she has gone down to the bathroom at the other end of the hall to have a little privacy!" "But, she leaves the door open I stammered." "Doesn't matter, a woman needs a few minutes to relief herself in peace…and NOW make your self useful and give me your hands I feel the urge again."
She latched on and GRRRRUUUNNNNTTTTTEEEEDDD panted and strained again, leaning toward me and pulling on my hands, caught her breath and GRUNNTED, before falling back panting. "Go get me some Vaseline," she ordered. I did as I was told. She ordered me outside, so she could take care of her business… "In private if you don't mind." I went out into the bedroom…but of course she couldn't see me, but I had the mirror angle on her. She heaved her fat-self off the toilet, her thighs quivering with the effort, put her fat leg up on the toile seat and reached under her large round ass cheek, which I could now see quite well, with a glob of Vaseline on her fingers, which disappeared into her ass crack, huffing and puffing with the effort. She worked this around, and pulled out her fat fingers, washing her hands, before seating herself with a sigh, and called me back in to hold her hands. She concentrated very hard for a few minutes, unnnnggghhhiinh and ummmpphhhing every now and then, gripping my hands. A heavy wet Vaseline fart was emitted, before a serious effort, got her log moving, I watched her face contort and twist as she concentrated on getting the poo log past her tight sphincter. It crackled and smelled and inched its way from under her bottom which oozed around and over the toilet seat. At last the log, fell with a heavy, splashy FOOOLUMP into the commode. She panted several times and rested on her hands. She straightened up as the rest of her BM came in plops, ploops and FAALOOPS. I couldn't believe my ears of the smell as she sat there unabashedly going and going in front of me, a look of pure relief on her face. "OK, I guess I don't need you any more you little peeper," she stated smiling. I slunk out of the bathroom…but turned to peep at her reflection in the mirror. She relaxed for several minutes, before heaving herself off the commode to raise her fat leg up on the tub and bend to reach under herself to wipe and wipe and wipe…flushing, three time…but then bellowing for me to come back and fix the toilet. I waited a few minutes before going back in so she wouldn't think I was "peeping." OMG…what a large, poo brown mess I had to plunge and plunge to get the toilet to flush properly, the smell almost making me gag. I was REALLY late for work yesterday! (She leaves tomorrow…)
THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER I have been on the continued use of muscle relaxants which have opiates in them and they are constipating!!!!!
I have been drinking water by the gallon and plenty of fruit and metamuscil....but the reseults have been meagre. I went for a short bush walk and got a bit of a feeling down there so I set of into the scrub and found a long to sit on and hang my bum over...I quickly passed two turds of average size, wipped etc...it was no where as near pleasant as the last time I did a bush poo because of all the flies everywhere and it was a bit hot....Very little poo from then on and I put on a couple of kilos and over the few weeks I moved up two notches in my belt.
On Wednesday morning I woke up with ???? painsat on the pot for no result so had a small dose of my herbal laxative...I tried licorice last week to no avail and prune juice with the most modest result.
That afternoon I finally did a a couple of average poos but my stomach was still full and I had no appetite etc and felt horrible and bloated. That night another dose and early the next morning I made a dash to the toilet and my arse went off like a cannon and fired a round of hard poo into the toilet (which left skid marks at the bottom of the bowl) and continued on with some softer poo. I went to the gym then and after my warm up on the tred mill it sent me to the mens for another gush of this time runny poo. Came home and did another poo and at work three more poos....as a reult I have moved back two notches on my belt and my lower body seem a better smaller shape. Another thing I had with the constipation was big skid marks..probably cause by shit in the rectum....also I particularly noticed I could not hold my urine for as long...probably a lack of room down there!
Back to normal but expect it to reoccur with the meds I am on...will be seeing the specialost in a few days and will mention it to hime and what I have been doing.
I Feel Great!!