Dwayne X
I just want to point out that a child's curiosity about shit goes together like peanut butter and jelly.
I think because of my exposure to alot off toilet humor, it has broadened my horizons as a great toilet bowl writer.
I can remember the hot summer of 1988 where I worked as a arts camp counselor during the summer before school began and I had around 20 8 and 9 year old kids I'd supervised. Kids are a source of alot of my inspiration, because they can say and do the most craziest shit.
I can remember this one day when a bunch of the kids where all huddled around this open port-a-potty like they were watching TV. I hastily ate my sandwich and went over there to see what the hell was going on.
When I got there, I seen a large, solid, glossy piece of shit sitting on top of the rim of the potty. I guess one of the kids (who didn't dare reveal themselves) did not have enough TP to put around the rim and tried to hit the target without sitting on the toilet. They didn't have good aim. The poop kinda hanged off the edge like a diving board. The turd had been sitting there for quite sometime because flies were starting to accumulate on it.
"Ooooo" "Ahhh" I heard from the children. They acted like they ain't never seen a big piece of shit before. "What's going on here?" I asked. "Look counselor D, somebody doodoo'ed!" "It's all big and brown!" said another kid. "Hey, let's hold Dwayne down and make him eat it!", said this little smartass little girl as three kids grabbed my arms and legs. "Hey..hey...hey...yall better behave! We aren't having any of that! Somebody go get me a stick!"
"What are you going to do?" asked a child.
One kid went and brought back a stick, I didn't want to get close to someone elses shit so I threw the stick at the shit, hoping to knock it in the bowl. Only half the turd went into the bowl, but the stick smeared the other half, making it look worse.
"All the hell with it, go and play elsewhere children, use another port-a-potty!"
I guess one of the older camp counselors later removed the feces and cleaned up the port-a-potty. Hell, they didn't pay me that much to do janitorial work too.
I've noticed for some strange reason, whenever shit is involved, I always try to elude the scene to keep from dealing with it, just like that instance at work back in '95 when I stopped up the toilet. Well..when I start having kids...guess who's not changing the baby's diapers?!?!?!?!!!!!Naich
Wooo...Nature Boy back again with random thoughts:
-could someone direct me to the page(s?) that Canadian Guy's posts were on?
-Over 4th of July I went with my brother, 2 nephews, and highly open about bathroom habits sister-in-law to watch fireworks. We, like most of the city, parked off the interstate to watch. For the 1st time in a decade, the cops harassed us, but we found an off-ramp they let people pull off at. Anyhow, not long after we stop, 'Michelle' says to not come back beside the car, she has to pee. So she heads off and doubtless (I didn't have the cajones to sneak a peek) drops her shorts and panties and takes a whiz, with the MASSIVE traffic around. Of course she was covered by the car, but as I pointed out to her later, the warehouse opposite us was occupied at the time!
-My 10-year old cousin got diarrhea Saturday evening, but not from the stomach virus running rampant down here. We figure she ate too much Halloween candy. In other words, she had the Hershey Squirts! *cue drummer for lame-ass pun!*
-I thought I was gonna have some diarrhea myself on the drive home the other day. My stomach cramped and I sped even more than usual to get home. But when I got there I saw that the dogs had gotten into the trash again, got angry, and forgot about pooping till I cleaned up the trash. I made it fine, but wish I hadn't waited when I actually got to the john...I had some loose crap, but then nothing. Tho I felt like more NEEDED to come out, nada. I waited around then nature finally finished it's course.
Clean up guy
Hey, everybody i think that this site is cool. I love the pooping stories from the women.
The reason that im posting, because i work in a grocery store. I have to clean up the whole store. And my favorite duty is when i have to clean the restrooms i have too clean the mens amd the ladies room. Sometimes there will poop on the floor and sometimes the toilets would be clogged up. ( they put too much toilet paper in the toilets). But i still enjoy doing it. When I clean the restrooms i make sure that there is no pee or poop on the toilet seat.
This what happened today when i went in to clean up the women's room i notice that one of toilets had vomit in it so i tryed to flush it but it would not flush so i gave up and went to the 3rd stall it had alot of toilet paper in it so i flushed it and ran over. So had too get the auger and unclug the toilet. I guess that lady must a stomach virus, i wish i knew who it was. I will post more stories about myself and my job.FARROWLANI
Hi,a Colonoscopy isn't a big deal. Over here (in England) they give you Sodium Picosulphate (Picolax) to clean you out beforehand. This is a pretty thorough lax/purgative which makes you shit everything in huge and very liquid amounts. I know in the U.S. they have stuff like 'X-prep' which does the same thing and which you might prefer to an enema. If you do, stay near the john or you'll end up in a hell of a mess !
Enemas aren't a big deal especially if you use lukewarm water and take your time. If you mean a 'Fleet' type enema, personally, I don't like them, they sting my ringus and make me crampy and I'd rather take something orally.
The modern colnoscopy is pretty different from days past. Nowadays they tend to pump air into you at the same time as looking with the scope. This stretches the colon so that they can see better. After I had mine the nurse wouldn't let me put on my shoes in case I had more diarrhea !
In fact, all I had was a lot of gas with a bit of splattery poo. If you're into all this stuff like I think a lot of us are, it will probably give you a thrill; it's certainly nothing to be frightened of.
Love, Squitty.Suzanne
Adrian - Thanks for your reply. I only go every three days because that suits me best. Rich has tried to make me go every morning but that just doesnt work. I get a slight urge quite often, and these get more and more frequent and strong as time goes on. But I never go until I absolutely have to, and then it comes out easily and fast. The downside is the increasingly smelly wind - but it works for me. And when i do go its absolutely massive and Rich loves it. After I last posted I went at work at lunchtime - a buddy dump.It was a great one and Kate did a good one too. I normally take a photo of it on my phone and send it to Rich - which he loves. This time Kate toook a one minute video of it coming out and we sent it to Rich. He got really excited at work! So I went on that day at work (thursday lunchtime), and I next went at home on sunday morning (which is always a good time to Go!!!). I then went at work on tuesday lunchtime, and its now saturday morning and I am busting to go. I am having a cup of coffee waiting for Rich to wake up - I am really smelling up the house. It feels as if it is going to be hard and massive - probably one log about 18 inches long and 3 inches wide. I will post some stories soon but at present i cant concentrate because i have to get rid of my poo so much. I think I may have to wake Rich up,
Will post soon - Poo together - love SuzeAdrian
farrowlani. Hope all goes well on the 24th. An enema shouldn't really be painful although you may find the experience unusual. In view of the bowel problems you're having at the moment though I'd recommend giving the Burger King/Taco Bell experience a miss for the time being. Burgers, chips and things cooked in oil are likely to aggravate any problems you're having at the moment although there is undoubtedly a time and place for them - when you're feeling better and your bowels are functioning more normally.
Tim (and Sarah). Thanks for your kind words. It's good to come across some of the long standing regulars (and I hope you're both still 'regular' in every sense) from time to time. I had some good poos earlier in the week - until Thursday night that is. On Thursday night I went for a sizeable poo and immediately afterwards it felt as though my rear passage was on fire. I'd not eaten chilli or strong curry or anything that might cause such a sensation either. What's more there was no blood. I simply had a very sore rear. Yesterday morning I went to the Chemist and got some Anusol which is primarily for piles but can be used to treat more or less any kind of anal discomfort and, half a dozen applications later, I'm feeling much better. In fact tonight I even had a good poo with barely any discomfort at all. I don't want to count my chickens before they're hatched but it's amazing what a difference treating the problem quickly with a suitable cream can make. In my case I don't think it's piles but simply a form of anal itching which has occured before, the last time being a few years ago, I think.
Best wishes to everyone - new and old!
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Kelly
Hi im kelly, 17 yr old im 5 '8, blonde hair, skinny, tanned. The other day i snuck down to the local woods for a smoke after school. While i was smoking i needed to poop. i pulled down my panties and squatted. I pissed first and then pooped out three big turds. I was smoking while i pooped in the woods. It was FunLouise
blue rizla girl,
Please write more details about where you peed during your hooilday in south france (where?).
WHich are teh most unusual place you have peed?
Do you often pee in showers (I always), do you pee even in presence oof other girls-woman in public showers? did u see other womane pissing in the showers (known-unknown)
I'm madly courious about it!
Please post again!!
LOL
Louise
Jodi -Ref: Stomach flu. I have it too.
About me, I am 28 years old, 5'9", 120 lbs. brown eyes and brown hair that goes to the middle of my back.I have been told that I look like Maria Menounos from "Entertainment Tonight". I started feeling sick around 3 a.m. Wedesday morning while in bed with my husband. My stomach was rumbling and it sounded like World war three was about to begin. I continued to try to sleep. Suddenly I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, quickly lifting my nightgown and lowering my panties and sat on the toilet.Immediately I let out a torrent wave of diarrhea for about 10 sec. As I sat on the toilet my stomach continued to rumble. I had three more waves of diarrhea. I started to feel somewhat better and wiped four times and went back to bed. I thought that it must have been something that I had ate that didn't agree with me. I awoke at 6 a.m. and started to get ready for work. As I was putting on my make-up, my stomach started cramping. I quickly lowered my dress pants and panties and sat on the toilet and had three waves of diarrhea, I started to become nauseous, I picked up a waste basket and started to dry heave, having another wave of diarrhea at the same time. I sat there wondering if I had caught the stomach virus that one of the other girls at work had two days before. I wiped 5 times and redressed and joined my husband and 12 yr. daughter in the dining room where he had prepared breakfast. Ham, eggs, hashbrowns, toast and coffee. He asked me what I would like? I told him that I was sick again with diarrhea and felt as if I could vomit.He said that I looked pale and should proably stay home. I decided to have a piece of toast and a glass of OJ.and try to go to work. On the twenty minute drive to work my stomach continued to churn. I wondered if I had made the right decision. As I arrived, another severe cramp hit me and I made a dash to the one toilet restroom and had another 4 waves of diarrhea.After about ten minutes I went to my positon at the drive-thru window. While helping my fourth customer I felt that I was going to have diarrhea again, I clenched my butt as tight as I could, the cramps were becoming unbearable,also my nausea was getting worse, I worked as fast as I could. When finished I asked the girl working next to me to cover for me as I dashed to the restroom and had the worse diarrhea yet. It was mainly brown water but wave after wave. I felt so sick! I felt like I was going to vomit . I flushed and quickly kneeled in front of the toilet and vomited my orange juice and toast back up. I was feeling weak as I wiped my butt 4 times and flushed the toilet. I pulled my panties and pants back up. I then went to the sink and wet a paper towel and placed it to forhead as I was feeling a little faint. Suddenly vomit was rushing up from my stomach and I ran back to the toilet, barely making it. I vomited three times into the toilet and then dry heaved twice. As I dry heaved I squirted some diarrhea into my panties. I lowered my pants and panties and continued with three waves of diarrhea into the toilet. My bank manager knocked on the restroom door and asked if I was ok? I told her that I was sick. I took off my panties and threw them into the trash as they were ruined.Lucky for me my pants were not soiled. After about 30 minutes in the restroom I redressed and told my boss that I was going home.On the way home I stopped once along the freeway and vomited another two times, and stopped at a convenience store with another bout of diarrhea.At home I have had diarrhea about every 45 minutes and have vomited another 4 times. My husband has been a real sweetheart helping hold my hair back as I vomit and changing the sheets on our bed when I had an accident with diarreha. It is now 12:30 a.m. Thursday. I feel some better, no more vomiting. OOOOH NO! I have to go. I have the diarrhea again.
Sorry for story being so long.
LOVE JODI
Jesse
Hi all
Today I gave myself an enema (I aways fell so contipated)I never got one before. Its better than taking laxitives. I stuck the tube up my ass I put luberication on it then up my ass then turned the vaule to on then after filling the bag up 5 times and doing the same thing I finnaly felt sick in my stoumic then I waited 5 min then as I ploped down on the toilet seat a big juicey fart came out then started muddy water it sounded like I was taking a piss with so much water coming out then another big juicey fart that was 15 secounds long and bvery loud. Then I felt turds 3" long about 3 turds then more muddy water then another loud fart that was 10 seounds long then as I got up to wipe the toilet water was all brown smelled bad but I really felt goodonly time I post
Today, I finished my violin lesson and was packing up. The next pupil was already in the room. My teacher excused herself from the room and told her next student to tune. I took my violin case out to where I could see the door of her bathroom, which was closed with a line of light under it. I couldn't hear well since the person after me was tuning loudly, but through breaks I heard the sound of a stream of water, which was a turn on. I packed up my violin slowly, waiting for her to finish. She did, but before I was out of the house, the door opened and her husband came out.
Mel
Over Halloween weekend, I went to a party, and of course all the teenagers (including myself) had been drinking. I had proably had the least amount, but it still had me going to pee about once every 15 minutes or so. One of the girls there had much more, and I know for sure that she hadn't been to the bathroom. Someone decided that we should go for a walk.. at 3 in the morning. So we left, and started walking down the street. We had been out for maybe 20 minutes when the girl said that she had to pee. The town we live in is very small, and it's mainly desert. The road we were on had many trees and bushes, and it would have been easy for any of us to squat behind one. In her state, though, that didn't seem like a good option. No, she wanted a toilet, since toilets don't have ants to crawl up her butt ..again, remember, this was said after a night of heavy drinking, at least for her.. Anyway, so refused to go, and we kept on walking. All of us were in our costumes, and hers was a hooker, and she had on some pretty tight jeans and some top that was really more just a few pieces of thin fabric sewn together..oh, and some knee-high boots. She didn't notice, but slowly a wet spot was appearing. Her boyfriend noticed it, and, laughing, said that she was going to "go" then and there. She got upset, since the only two options she had weren't to her liking (go in her pants, or squat on the road). She had borrowed the pants nd boots from a friend, and she couldn't exactly return them with pee stains on them. Finally, with some covincing from the rest of us, she removed the pants and squatted in the bushes on the side of the road. Let me tell you.. that girl peed and peed and peed. She wasn't too far away from the road, but even still a good portion of her pee flowed by where we were standing. When she returned she noticed the river by us and said that she was really sorry, and so embarassed. She had no need to be, at least in my book.. I definetly enjoyed the experience.
I also made a trip to the bushes that night, but with much less involvement from the others. I love going outside, and I'd love to try pooing one day, though I'm not sure when I'll have the chance. Hope everyone had a fun Halloween weekend!
farrowlani
older guy, wapiya: Thanks for the info.
I had a consultation today and the date for the colonoscopy is set for the 24th, so I will have fun story to tell you all. I am looking forward to it. Seriously, I am. But I am not looking forward to giving myself an enema. Does enemas feel uncomfortable??
Wapiya: I did visit a whole bunch of IBS sites already...I think one was (or something like that). The doctor I saw today is saying that I have colitis. I dunno. But I know they are checking for that.
Aloha
Dwayne
This is not exactly a poop story, but what can happen as the result of an improperly wiped ass.
Even though the OJ Simpson trial left a bad taste in America's mouths, I think it is important for everyone, no matter how young or how old, to practice the doctrines of the Johnny Cochran philosophy of ass-wiping, "If you see shit, you must not quit!"
When I was a young lad in middle school, it was a right of passage during gym period to poke fun at a classmate's gut, or the size of their anatomy during showers. But it is tabu to allow anything else to be the "BUTT" of everyone's jokes.
This is where our story begins. His name was Shawn.
Shawn was a tall gumpy kid that used to pick on people he deemed to be weak. But that all turned around one fateful day in 1984.
Dodgeball was our gym class's past time, and it was obvious that Shawn had some medical problems. He has an everlasting lump on his forehead from being hit by cars on two seperate occassions, and he had low-self esteem.
Little is known of his skid mark problems before a pivetal game of dodge ball when Charles, a man with Randy Johnson-like skills, hit Shawn square in the stomach.
Shawn hunched over and did not play the rest of the period.
We all sprinted to our lockers and some of the kids didn't have locks on their lockers so they locked with others, took of their clothes and headed to the showers. At this time something profound happened. Shawn had his own locker and Shannon, an annoying class clown, glanced over and observed Shawn's underwear. "Ooo look! Dookie!" pointed Shannon as all eyes were on Shawn. Not only were his drawers dingy, but he had caked-on doo-doo stains that were on both sides of his dirty drawers.
It was 25-35 kids in the locker room, and instead of cleaning our asses, we were worried about why Shawn's ass wasn't clean.
The kids laughed and one kid grabbed his leg and took off his drawers while another kid held Shawn down. I looked at this shit and laughed hysterically. One kid paraded Shawn's underwear around the locker room while there were "Ewww's" and "Hahaha's". Shawn practically had a nervous break down in the locker room. "Quit playing you dirty motherf.....'s", I remember him saying, "Gimmee back my drawers!!!!"
It is unclear if the stains were a direct result of a bowel movement indulced by being hit in the stomach with a dodgeball, or from just being lazy and not wiping his ass properly. However, the moral of the story is, wear clean underwear at all times. If 11 and 13 year kids made fun of you, just think what would have happened if he was rushed to the hospital, or if a mortician was around him? They would have said, "I wish his mother could have taught him to wipe his ass better before he died."
From that point, he inherited the nickname "Shitty Shawn", or S.S. for short. It stuck with him through high schooldays as those of us who were there when the incident took place would always bring up what happened.
I remember I made a rap song about is chocalately undies, and he said "Dwayne.......I'ma kill you one of these days. Why you gotta run the shit into the ground!! It happened 5 years ago!!"
When you are young, it's okay to have a streak or two, but it is down-right tryfling when you're drawers look like toilet paper. There have been instances that kids would try to put on other kid's drawers and play it off like their there's to ward away the embarrassment of being caught with doo-doo stains. It is better to be ridiculed for having a small package than to be caught not being able to successfully wipe your ass. I can remember one day when this guy John, a fat kid, told this one kid, "N....... take my drawers off before I beat your ass" It happened to be Rodney, a kid who's drawers he had thrown in the trash because they were soiled from improperly wiping.
All of the stories I post are based on true instances.
Please rate the funnyness of each of them and post them....thanks!
farrowlani
Last night, a friend and I went to go eat dinner at Burger King here in Hawaii(well, she got her dinner at Taco Bell and we ate at one of the tables outside of Burger King). Anyway, I desperately had to pee so I headed to the bathroom before ordering. But as I was heading toward the bathroom, so were two older women (probably late 40s early 50s) and they beat me to it! One woman goes in, the other says, "I'll come in with you." I'm thinking, "Wait, isn't this a one toilet bathroom with no stalls and a sink?" Just to make sure, I peaked into the men's bathroom (which was wide open) and yup, it was.
So, I stand outside waiting for the women to finish. They were talking, but I couldn't hear everything. About two minutes later, I heard a flush and more talking. I supposed the other lady sat down on the toilet because half a minute later, I heard someone say, "Oh that felt good!" Meanwhile, I'm still standing at the door, contemplating on whether I should just use the mens bathroom or not.
A few minutes later, I hear the sound of water rushing and then the sound of the hand dryer and voila, the door opens and out the two ladies come. They must've been surprised to see that someone was standing there waiting to go in. When I went in, it did smell a little of poop, but not really, but there was a wad of toilet paper in the toilet, but the entire roll of toilet paper was empty. I was desperate to pee that I could care less. Plus I was wearing a pad. Now if I had to shit, it would be a different story.
As soon as my butt hit the toilet seat, piss hissed out hard for about 15 seconds, then began to die down to a dribble for 5 seconds.
After that, I told my friend what I heard and saw and she said, "Oh maybe the lady felt so relieved because she peed." And we chuckled.
Aloha
I.P.Daily
My exgirl Terry was very gassy.She knew it turned me on when she farted and pooped.When we would get up in the morning I would be the first one up.I would get the coffee started,then go to bathroom,take a pee and wait for Terry to come in.She would sit on the toilet and let out a loud fart then take a long pee while looking at me with this big smile.After that we would go into the kitchen for breakfast and start getting ready for work.All the while she's getting ready she would be letting out these loud farts with a giggle.I knew soon that I would be in for a big treat,so I waited.Finally she would look at me with these sexy eyes and say,guess what I have to do and sit her perfect ass on the toilet all the while looking at me.Every time before she pooped she would fart two or three times,gront a few times,then out it came.She would always lift her butt so I could get a good look.What a turn on she was.Question girls.When are you the most gassy?Morn.,Afternoon,or night.Do you fart a lot before taking a poop? Terry always farted before pooping.
A.W.
This story is about a pee dream I had when I was 13 years old.
The pee dream involved me being in school drinking two bottles
of water and a bottle of coke. In the dream, I didn't pay close
attention to my bladder until about 6th period. I asked my
teacher if I could use the restroom, but the teacher said no.
So I was squeezing my dick and squirming in my chair as a little
bit of piss squirted out of me. Finally, the bell rang and I ran
to the restroom, as I ran I felt some more hot piss squirt on
my underwear. Once I got inside the restroom, I went I ran to
the first urinal that I saw, unzipped my jeans and let it rip.
In this dream, I pissed for almost two minutes.
Unfortunately, when I woke up, I felt wet in the front part of
my underwear and pants. I ran to my bathroom and had to clean
up myself by taking a shower, put my underwear and pants in
the laundry for them to be washed very well. My sheets and
mattress were wet as well with piss. Thankfully, I got away
with it without my parents knowing about my piss accident.
Has anyone else had a bad pee dream experience to tell besides
me? Please feel free to tell us.
Dan
Hi Again. Another incident which happened to me recently, occured a few weeks ago. I woke up fairly early to go swimming (I often go for a long swim before heading off to lectures). I put on a pair of tight swimming shorts, jeans, t-shirt and packed my towel and a pair of butt-hugging CK pro-stretch white briefs. Anyway I had a great swim, had a shower and went to change. I'd just got dressed when I suddenly realised I needed to go for a number 2. I was just beginning to dump quite large soft turds, when I suddenly realised there was no toilet paper!! Obviously I stopped right there and tried frantically to think of how I could get out of this! I pulled up my underwear, jeans and quickly exited the cubicle to try and find some toilet paper. Unfortunately for me, the pool was closing for the morning and I was swiftly hurded out of the building. I soon forgot that I hadn't wiped my butt and went to the first lecture. i'd no sooner entered the room, when I began to develop a seriously itchy butt, obviously due to the stray turds still up there. I tried to ignore it at first but after a few minutes I relented and gave it a good scratch through my jeans, right up my butt. It felt great!Peehead (Girl)
When I need to go pee or poo, I like to take a big strip of toilet paper, then put it on the floor. Then I squat down over it and pee onto it. It feels sooo good! ^-^ When I'm done (if it was a poo) I like to squish the poo. THen i clean up and hope I need to go pee again soon =Ddylan
to roger - i think big women do bigger poops. i saw my aunt poop in the bathtub once. she weighs about 240 pounds. i dont think the turds were that big because a lot of the poop was soft and mushy but she did more poop in that one sitting that ive seen anybody else do. i think because big women eat more than skinny ones they usually poop more too. peace, dylan
Adrian
Bill. Liked your story about the poo you took in the shower. No wonder Mary Ann was impressed.
Daniel (Danny). You raise an interesting point about whether men or women are better at holding a #2 in when they need to go. However, I don't think it's a question to which there's a "one size fits all" answer as everybody's different. However my theory is that women probably have a slight advantage over men in terms of the amount of material they can hold in their bowels and for how long. This is because historically the roles women have played in society have meant that for them the need to do a poo has often not coincided with being free to go to the toilet. It wouldn't surprise me therefore if evolution has provided them with a great capacity than men on the whole for containing the need for a bowel movement.
Anne. Hi and welcome. I was interested to read your post about having an accident on the interstate. However I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Accidents happen and they're part of life's rich tapestry. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and maybe you could have avoided messing yourself if you'd gone to the toilet at your friend's house. However there would be no fun in life if we didn't all occasionally take risks. From what you said about the chunky but semi liquid state of your output on that occasion, I suspect you may have had a mild ???? bug or eaten something which disagreed with you.
Suzanne. I didn't see the Ant and Dec show although I now wish I had. Also, I was interested to read about you only going for a poo about twice a week and often getting to the farting stage before you go. I suspect it's a lot easier to get away with that at home than at work where everyone knows you're doing it and realises what the cause is. As a matter of interest though, what's the longest you've been able to get away with pre poo farting before eventually having to go to the loo? Also, have you ever followed through and ended up having an accident? I'd love to hear more of your stories.
farrowlani. Hope you got on alright with the doctor and colonoscopy went okay.
Tim (and Sarah)
Adrian: Hi back! It's good to see you are a regular poster and pooper and the moment. It's nice to have good , regular, satisfying movements, as we all know and I am happy to read you are enjoying your's. Take care and please stay with us with your ever caring words and good advice!
Loggerman: Hi! Please, don't get me wrong! You did not offend me! It was just a personal thought. And besides, who am I to judge? I am one of the least mannered, when it comes to a cheeky pee or poop outside...I like taking a whiz in a hidden corner and pooping in the woods. Our family moved from a surburbian area into a more rural place (converted farmhouse) this year and I LOVE it to have some woods nearby...I grew up in the countryside and my best mate and I still go for the occasional buddy dump, when the weather is warm...I like you stories very much.
To your question: I neither can end a shit properly without a final tinkle. Sometimes when I poop outside e.g. at work and I somehow could not wait for the pee, I am bound to having to pee again just after I came back from the loo. At home I try to shower after I poop in the morning. I do pee while the poop is coming out and then I have to pee again when I am in the shower...
A funny story from a few years ago:
I was driving on the motorway and felt a big movement coming on. I tried to wait until home, but it was to far and my turds wanted out sooner. So I stopped at a restroom at a rest area, which are typical on the motorways here. I went in and as I expected there were stainless steel toilets with no seats, medium clean. I climbed onto the toilet and squatted, after I put paper in the loo in order to get not too much splashback...Soon a fat, long turd slid out and landed on the paper. Like so often, after the first turd I had to piss. In order to get it into the bowl, I leaned forward, pushing my bum further back and held my penis down with one hand and onto the wall with the other. While still peeing, I felt the rest of my load moving and gave it a releasing push. It quicly slid out with a crackle and came continously. It felt great and like shitting out a big pile. After I finished I looked between my legs if the pile was indeed as big as it felt. To my confusion the turd from the beginning lay proudly, but still on it's own on the by now soaked paper. Had I imagined shitting more? Dazzled I climbed off the seat to whipe and trace the ghoast poop. When I turned I saw the mess: I had missed the bowl and laid my pile onto the rim of the toilet. One turd even fell onto the floor. I cleaned it up as much as possible with paper and quickly made a disappearance. Good poop though...All the best. Tim
Linda
Linda from Australia again : )
I've had a bit of trouble doing poos over the last few days, I'm not sure why, I have been eating fruit and ???? and drinking lots of water. Anyway, I just took a dump about 10 minutes ago and it was similar to the one I had last night (although it was harder to get the turds out tonight). I had to wait about 10 minutes before I felt the urge to start pushing the turds out. The first turd felt extremely rock hard and it burnt my anus as it was coming out. It got stuck in my arse for about 5 mintues and then I managed to squeeze it out. After this, it took me another 20 minutes to squeeze out several knobbly, rock hard turds. I had to push really, really hard and most of the turds got stuck in my arse while I was trying to get them out.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Bill
Hi everyone, Bill (Mary Ann's friend) here again. You may remember my story from a couple weeks ago when Mary Ann let me watch her take a dump in a hotel room in Virginia. Well anyway, yesterday Mary Ann and I were spending the day together and she brought up the subject of me liking watching her poop that day, and she suggested that she would like to watch me as well. I said "I'd be glad to give you a show. Unfortunately, I don't have to go right now." So after dinner tonight, I could feel an urge coming on. After we got to my place, I was really "prairie dogging" and told Mary Ann that if she wanted to watch, now was the time. She followed me into the bathroom, and I stripped down naked. I got into the shower stall and squatted down with her standing behind me in the door of the stall. No sooner had I squatted and the turd automatically began to come out. It was a fat turd, probably about 2" across, and because it was so fat it came out an inch, then I had to push. I usually am a quiet pooper but when I pushed I grunted. The turd slipped out, crackling as the last couple inches came out, then landed with a light thud on the tiles. I usually only do one turd per pooping session and this one was no different. I stood up and looked down to see a foot long, smooth turd laying there. Mary Ann was sure looking excited. I used toilet paper to pick the turd up and place it in the toilet. I peed on top of it in the bowl then turned on the water to wash the floor of the shower stall. Mary Ann folded up some toilet paper and said "Can I take care of the paperwork?" so I knelt on the toilet seat backwards and let her wipe my ass. The turd was sticky so it took about six wipes including two with moistened toilet paper before she had my tush clean. I told her that next time it was gonna be her turn and she said she would make sure to eat lots of fiber and come prepared. Then we enjoyed the rest of Halloween night, and I might add we didn't answer the doorbell to hand out any candy. Till next time.
BillSplash
gothgirl if he's locking the door; I think that about says it all. Leaving it unlocked or open would be an invitation.
I had a very close call today. I've written about those sudden "come-from-nowhere" urges... It was kind of one of those. I actually really did have to pee badly (I had been holding it just about all day--long story). I had to leave the house, without having a pee, but I wasn't too concerned because I didn't plan to be gone more than 10 minutes and I knew I could hold it that long. I was right, I wasn't gone long, but it's like as soon as I got out of my car to come back inside, it just hit. It was cool outside and that didn't help, plus just suddenly standing up, I guess. Anyway, I held off that urge and went inside my house. I made my way upstairs to my bathroom, and as I was walking into my bathroom, another urge hit and quite a long spurt escaped. I had taken maybe two steps toward the toilet and it just started hissing out. There wasn't much damage, I had been wearing a menstrual pad (another reason why I wasn't too worried about leaving myhouse when I had to pee) and it caught all of it. Funny thing is, as bad as I had to go, once I sat on the toilet I only peed for a few seconds. I know I didn't leak very much, not enough to relieve all the liquid that must have accumulated in my bladder throughout the day. I couldn't believe how little I actually peed after all that. Maybe I just have a small bladder?Roger
Do larger women, like those that weigh 180-225lbs take bigger or more frequent poops than thin women? Do large women produce really long thick turds? Thanks for any info on this matter.Mark
GOTHGIRL, I really enjoyed your post. I would love to see my gf poop and clean up her mess. I'm going to take your advice and let her see me pee and poop-then she may get the courage. Please tell us more about your poop-the size of the logs, the texture, etc.
blue rizla girl
Hi, everyone. As the weather is worsening here, I thought I'd post a pissing story from my summer holiday to take everyone's mind off it.
I went to the South of France {Bonjour, Louise!} this year. Unfortunately, I could not take my son and daughter as originally planned {my mother ended up looking after them}, but I was determined to go even if I was all by myself. And I spent two whole weeks without peeing in a toilet once!
The journey to France by coach and ferry. There was a loo on board, but I don't like using coach toilets. Fortunately, due to a smoking ban, we were stopping for a fag-break every couple of hours, and I made good use of the time off the bus to squat and water the trees. I even managed to sneak a squirt off the deck of the Channel ferry! Then, began the long drive down from Calais to the Cote d'Azur, again with stops every few hours. At the last one, I had to do big business; but there were plenty of trees and I had some TP with me. I dug myself a little hole with the heel of my shoe, pulled down my pants just below the level of my ring, squatted and squeezed out about 20cm. of pooh in one easy push. Then I wiped, burned my used paper with my lighter {being careful of course not to set anything else on fire}, and kicked the earth back over my doings. If it wasn't for my puddle of piddle -- now quickly disappearing -- nobody would know what I had been doing there!
By the time we got to the camp site, I was tired and needing a shower. I had booked a pre-erected tent with two sleeping pods, one of which would have been for the kids if they had been coming. After being shown which tent was mine and unpacking my rucksack, I set off for a wander around. {There was going to be a meeting for new arrivals, but it would not be until later that evening}. I soon found the facility block. It was not obvious at first which side was for "messieurs" and which side was for "mesdames", so I just picked one at random. There were no stand-up urinals, so I guessed that probably was the right one. I chose a stall as far as possible from the entrance door. The water temperature seemed to be non-adjustable but was OK. I stood under the shower in my clothes at first, which I like to do sometimes. But then, I felt the old familiar urge in my bladder; so I stripped off my crop-top and white satin pedal-pushers {which had become quite transparent when wet -- my 'delta' was obvious!}, covered myself all over in shower gel, and just let rip. It was heaven, just letting it mingle with the shower water and splatter all over the tiles!
TO BE CONTINUED .....
Dwayne X
Turdtanic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can remember this time I took a shit and almost caused calamity in the workplace! It was November of 1995 and I worked at this autoparts manufacturer as a tool room attendant. The night before, I remember pigging out on a pound and a half of shrimp and fries. The next day, I had my judgement day in the oval office!
Unlike the shit I took 12 years earlier as a child, that damn near corked my asshole shut, I was able to let out this whale of a turd with minimal discomfort. I think because I went through pubity, and was no longer growing, I think my asshole over the years adjusted accordingly to the massive turds I drop.
This was a massive dump. It felt like 3 turds were trying to come out my ass at the same time. The first massive turd was the hardest to release, but after some concentration, straining, and rocking back and forth, it came out and cold water splashed up my ass. I was not through, there were two more of it's little brothers waiting to see daylight. I strongly believe in the Johnny Cochran philosphy of ass-wiping "..If you see shit..you must no quit!" so I took my time to wipe my ass. I knew there were other people in the stalls next to me, but I didn't pay them no mind. However, I caused a bit of a disturbance when I flushed those three big ass logs down the toilet.
At first, the turds swirled around the bowl like they were in a Conga line and then proceed down the hole. As the last one went in, more water began to emerge, the tell-tale sign of a clog-up. I flushed the bowl again and the last turd disappeared, but this made things worst. The building was quite old and everything ran off of one main pipe which meant that if one bowl clogged, all the others would soon follow. Since I did not see a plunger and the water began rising well over the top, and overflowing into the next stall, I got the f??k outta dodge! There was a Mexican dude sitting in the stall next to me and I could tell he was pissed because he muttered something in Spanish and all I could make out was the word "Agua" which is Spanish for water. As I left the bathroom, I could see urinals begin to overflow. I Lee Harvey Oswalded it out of there and went back to my station. From my toolroom I had a bird's eye view of the bathroom, and I thought that the flood would only be confined to that bathroom, so I didn't pay it no mind and went in the back to do work, and to play it off so no one would no it was me that flodded the bathroom.
Five minutes passed, and I went back to the front of the tool room and dropped my jaw to what I saw.
The janitor and six other workers had mops and buckets. I ran to the back of the toolroom and busted out laughing. I tried to hold my composure before conversing with my co-workers.
I saw Ron, the janitor, who I was real cool with, and calmly said without chuckling, "Whoa Ron, what happened?" Ron was not in a jovial mood. "Damn...toilet paper!", he muddled in disgust. "Somebody stopped up the toilet in the damn bathroom with toilet paper and shit and now all the Go?????n toilets are overflowing. Some dumbass keeps running into the bathrooms and flushing them Go?????n toilets just to make it worst..god..dammmit!!!!"
I was about to faint with laughter so I said "Oh, that's awful!" and ran back to the tool room.
Mike, my best friend, came over there and looked at me. "You did it didn't you?" We looked at each other for a minute then we both burst out laughing. I hurt my sides from chuckling. "How'dya know?" I asked. "Motherf... you always talking about how you stop up your grandad's toilet, it had to be you!" I never in my life had so many tears in my eyes.