ToiletStool.com     1259





Jessica
Lauren: I've had an experience a bit like that when you kind of lose control all of a sudden. ive been reading this forum for a while so I've decided to post my story of how I kind of got into this.

I'm 12 years old but this happened a few months ago right before I turned 12. I was spending a weekend at my friends house I also hadn't had a bm in 2 days before I went there but it never really occured to me then. Friday night I was fine until it was getting pretty late, thats when I realized I hadn't gone poop since Wednesday I knew it would be hard to hold it until Sunday night when my parents would pick me up but I didn't want to go in Jenna's (my friend's) house. So I made it through Friday night, Saturday we stayed at her house for a bit then we went to a mall. Every once in a while I would have to go bad but I would fight it back, I made it through Saturday doing the same thing fighting off strong urges. On Sunday it was almost a constant battle, I thought about going but now Jenna's older sister and her friend were there so I chickened out. I just had to wait until 8:00 at night when my parents were coming and it was already supper. We had lasagne and I stupidly ate a lot. At around 7:00 we were in the basement watching TV when it was getting painful I thought about going to the bathroom but her sister was in there for about an hour! I was sitting on the couch and Jenna was on the other side of the room, my butt was getting really tired and I was just sitting there with my legs pinned together when a big cramp came and my bm pushed my tired cheeks open. I could tell it was very solid one and I knew now that it was a little bit out and with that much pressure it was inevitable. I then felt it touch my panties and that same wave of heat came over me, it was so solid it couldn't get out while I was sitting, my stomach was pushing really hard and it hurt because it wasn't moving and it was so big. Then a sharp pain hit me and kind of like a reflex I lifted my butt off the couch and pushed, I could hear a loud crackling sound as I squatted over the couch pooping my pants, I was still wearing tight jeans though so the huge log piled up around my crotch and pushed my jeans out. I could tell the first log was out and it was huge! Then I remembered where I was, I was hovering over the couch and I didn't want anyone to know so I just sat down, it was so solid it barely flattened at all. I sat there with my face burning thinking 'I just pooped my pants.' There wasn't much smell so that was a good sign. I still had to go really bad there was so much poop, I also had to pee, I sat there for about 15 minutes until Jenna's mom yelled downstairs that my mom was there. I had my backpack with be and used to block my butt as I went upstairs. Luckily nobody got too close to me, I thanked everyone and carefully walked out the back door, as I was walking around the house to my mom's van I had a huge cramp and had to stop to hold it. My muscles were shaking now they were so tired, then I got a sharp pain and it made me lose my concentration, the tip of the next log poked out and started to spread my cheeks. I knew it was once again inevitable so feeling defeated I gave up and squatted down. I could feel the poop was a little softer now as it crackled and worked it's way into my already full panties. I grunted as my stomach automatically pushed trying to get everything out and with that I felt warmth spreading up my crotch and legs a little bit and looked down to realize I was peeing my jeans. I probably would have cried but I was in complete shock. When I was finally finished I was surrounded by a lake and I thought my panties would burst but no poop had gone down my leg because it was so hard. I slowly got up and walked to the van, I got in the very back seat, thankfully my mom didn't ask why. Now I had a 20 minute drive home and had to sit in wet smelly full pants. I found a plastic bag to put on the seat and slowly sat on the mountain of poop. I just sat there the rest of the trip with my head down unable to believe what I just did. When we got to my house I bolted away from the van as fast as I could waddle so my mom wouldn't see. I got into the house undetected and went to the basement bathroom. I saw my butt in the mirror and I couldn't believe my jeans could stretch that far out. I took my pants down and saw the disaster area I dumped the poop out and had to break it into about 20 pieces to flush it. If I wouldn't have peed my pants the stain in my panties probably wouldn't have been THAT bad but they were finished. I had to hide the jeans and wash them when my mom wasn't around. Anyway like Lauren I realized that the relief felt pretty good and after discovering this site I have had a few more "accidents" in controlled environments. Whew! this is getting long, so I could share some of those stories and another accident story I have, I'd also like to hear about anyone elses experiences, but I have be going now later!


Amy single
okies well there are two of us going by Amy, so from now on ill be going by Amy single. the other Amy pooped her pants at her wedding. im single so that was not me. i answered Tinas questions. plus i put my wrong age im 24. thats what happens when i try to write right after i wake up. everything else was right, i didnt even think about it until i got to thinking about it until later. sorry, okies? byez for now love to all.


Snoyd
Here's one for the guys. Suppose you've got something planned you don't want interrupted by toilet breaks, but you know at some point you gotta take a whiz. What to do?

Get a condom.

Stiffen things up however you like, apply the condom but leave an extra-long sack at the far end, and then go about your business with the condom down one pants leg. Then, when you're sitting at your computer or whatever and need to go, let 'er rip and whiz. The condom will fill up and stay in place; when you're ready, get up and go carefully to the can, yank it off and dump it. Reapply and you're ready to go again.

Another alternative: an empty gallon bleach jug will contain a hell of a lot of piss and mask the smell also.


Thursday, May 06, 2004


Amy
so how many other women her have pooped their panties.....at their high school graduation? i have..how about their own wedding? i did that too. i guess i'm a milestone pantywaste. at my high school graduation, i had an unnerving urge to go poop since the beginning of the ceremony. as we were seated in the middle of the stadium field, just before they started to call us up for our diplomas, i had an enormous BM in my underpants.i had to lift my butt up off the seat to let it all out, it was very big and pretty solid. my panties were bulging, and my face was tomatoe red because everyone around me obviously knew i had just soiled my underwear. i was more than just a little humiliated and there was absolutley nothing i could do about it. i eventually just had to waddle up for my diploma. i don't think it was THAT noticable that i had an accident, but those people who were seated around me who knew pretty much gave it away. thank god i never saw those people after that day beside my friends..
that was worse than my wedding accident, but i still pooped my panties at my wedding never the less. last week i got married, with a huge mushy load in my underwear. thank god for the wedding dress and the fact that my legs were completely clothed with pantyhose and such so no poop would fall down onto the floor and no one could see it on my legs. it stayed mostly in my underwear but some went down the inside of my thighs. it happened as we were actually being wed, when the minister was reading our vows i was so nervous and my lower stomach was so stiff and churning that i lost control of my bowels and began slowly filling my underwear with mushy poop. i am more than grateful that no one noticed, but i knew there was no way i could keep it from my husband. i waited until we were alone in the limo then told him i had accidently messed myself. he seemed amused at first but then he was compassionate. he was wonderful about it, he made sure i got cleaned up and had my underwear changed before the party.


Ashley
Hi, my name is Ashley and I am 19 years old. I go to college and my roommate is my 20 year old sister Jaime. Since we first moved in together, we have noticed something. We both clog the toilet every single time we poop. I am skinny and tall and so is Jamie but we both have really, really big boobs. We each go #2 every day but we still clog the toilet like every time we go. We have pretty much decided that we take such big dumps because we have such big boobs. It sounds stupid, I know, but have a reason for thinking this. Our mom and other sister are both both super flat chested and they never plug up the toilet when they poop. Neither of us had taken such big dumps until we "developed" and ever since then (in high school) we go A LOT. Our friends first suggested that it was probably because of our boobs and we have really come to believe it. I have tried to research any kind of link between big boobs and big poops but I haven't found anything. We have also both been to doctors and stuff and all they told us was to eat more fiber and go twice a day. Does anyone here know if our chest size is the possible cause, or is that just stupid?


Punk Rock Girl
Aaaaahhhhhh.....

I had THE most satisfying dump over the weekend. Saturday evening, Colin and I decided to stay in instead of going out. We rented a few movies and settled in for an evening of relaxation.

After the first movie, I felt the need to crap. I went in the bathroom, pulled down my shorts and underpants and sat on the toilet. As usual, I didn't close the door.

I peed, then relaxed my ass. A huge, thick, lumpy load slowly inched its way out. It was rock solid, although I hadn't felt constipated. It took about a minute for it to completely come out, and required a bit of straining on my part. It finally slipped out and into the water, and a little fart escaped my asshole.

I heard Colin in the other room go "Two points!"

It felt like a clean load, but I wiped my ass anyway. The paper was clean as a whistle. I used some wet wipes to get it extra clean and headed back out to the living room.

Sometimes, after I've had a nice smooth dump like that, I let Colin have a little fun in my hindquarters, so we took a break from movie watching for a bit of the old back door entry! Boy am I glad we stayed in, twas a very pleasant evening!

Peace!

PRG


Twice Shy
Always after me Lucky Charms...

I've read before on the board here about folks whose ambition it is to crap every hue of the rainbow, when it comes to turd-color; thus the popularity of all those blue flavors of Gatorade, etc. I've had the experience of witnessing first hand what this is like, when I've chosen to drift off in the evenings while munching handfuls from a big box of Lucky Charms cereal (with the ever-changing marshmallow surprises). The next day, I'll let forth a hunky-log that is mostly the remnant of the oat cereal portion of the L.C., but with a hideous, dark, purplish-green coloration that I know came from the marshmallows. Since I'm a grown man and don't have to beg my mother (though she'd hardly approve of the diet, I suppose), I could go buy 5 or 6 boxes of the stuff and sort the marshmallows by color. When in the mood for green turds (e.g., on 16 March), why, then I'd need only grab a bowlful of the clover marshmallows, though the results of the yellow moons would have to be a disappointment, in the predominantly yellow-orange-brown medium that is my personal crap.


Amy
Tinas questions:
1)how old are you?
im 23
2)how often do you poop?
i poop 2 or 3 times a day.
3)how often do you pee?
seems like i can pee almost anytime i think about it or if one of my girlfriends have to pee i will have to pee too.
4)how much do you usually poop/pee?
that really depends on what i have ate or drank.
5)is your poop usually hard or what?
my poop is most of the time like warm mud, very mushy and light brown.
6)females only have you ever peed standing up?
yes i have with a short skirt on i can spread my legs a little pee without any trouble.
7)have you ever pooped standing?
yes, when i poop my pants/diaper i have been standing but i do like to bend slightly.
8)what is the most you have ever pooped?
well once when i was wearing some form fitting jeans i pooped in them so much that it looked like i had a softball in them.
9)what is the most you have peed?
i dont hold my pee, so i guess i always pee a normal amount.
10)what is the most unusual place you have ever peed/pooped?
well i guess that would be at the place where we go to concerts. we always get tickets to sit out on the grass, so if we have to pee we can just hike our short skirts up and let it go. my girlsfriends and i always try to pee at the same time. so then after we have peed we move to another spot.
11)what is the most public place you have pooped or peed?
well once i pooped my pants in a walmart and there was a little pee not much though, since i had planned to do this i peed in a toilet before i pooped my pants. once during my diaper time, i was wearing 24/7 for a period of time. i was at a ann taylor dress shop and i really had to go, i filled my diaper with a load of poop and a peed at the same time. i really dirtied myself, i had to be changed right there at the store in the backroom! okies love, Amy


Lauren
Oh my god I had a bad night last night. I was extremely bored so I decided to go to the mall, I was wearing tight jeans and white cotton panties. Anyway I shopped around for a couple hours until about 930PM when I needed to go pee and poop really bad so I headed home because I'm not too fond of public washrooms. I had about a 30 minute walk back to my house but the urge hit so strongly and quickly that I had to stop a few times to hold my pee and poo which made the trip a little longer. I could feel it was a solid one so I wasn't all that worried. I was about half way home when I had to go really bad, probably because when I'm alone I'm a little more relaxed. I kept walking until I was in the middle of this soccer field near my house, it was getting dark and there was nobody around which made me feel even more relaxed. I leaned up against a tree and squeezed my buttcheeks together then I remembered I hadn't gone in about 3 or 4 days. Unfortunately by concentrating on holding my poop I could feel my pee on the edge. Just when an urge to pee came I got a cramp and had to concentrate on my poop again. This time to my suprise I felt a spurt of pee run into my panties, I cut it off quickly and squatted down to help hold it. However it didn't help to hold the poop. There was so much pressure it pushed itself out of my butt slowly but forcefully and soon I could feel it push against my panties as a wave of heat washed over me. My jeans were so tight it couldn't get out further but it was so big my stomach convulsed uncontrollably and pushed it out into my jeans. Now I was in shock because I had no control over my butt and that made it impossible to hold my pee I could feel it slowly running out into my panties. Finally I just gave up. I just squatted there helplessly as my panties filled with poop and felt the warm wetness spread over my butt and crotch. The poop was solid but it kept being forced out uncontrollably. It lasted for such a long time and when I was done the pee had overflowed up my crotch and around the zipper of my jeans, the poop was forced to spread out by my jeans and it absolutely loaded my panties. With tears in my eyes I slowly got up and waddled home, I couldn't believe it I never thought anything like that could happen to me I've never had bladder or bowel problems before. I got home and luckily there was nobody there. I pulled my pants down and saw the size of the poop it was probably the biggest one I've ever had and it was in my panties!!

Anyway I read a couple of posts here before I posted and I saw that there's a lot of people who actually like doing this and now that I look back I realize that if not for the sheer fact that I pooped and peed my pants it felt kind of good.

Anyone else have an experience like this? It would help to hear, thanks.


Carolyn
Hello you all. This is my first post. I'm a 5'9" blond about 30 something years old. Today I teach in a university and am getting along well healthwise. But a decade or so ago I had to leave a teaching job for health reasons, which never then got diagnosed as anything but irritable bowel syndrome.
I enjoyed your post, Crapper Dan. It showed me that there are others like me who had undiagnosed hypothyroidism and had some of its symptoms diagnosed for a while as IBS. That could give me hundreds of bizarre poop stories to share, but for now I'll give one that I remember as particularly bizarre when my debilitating pooper problems were well started into making themselves known, and it way mystifying and disturbing just what might be wrong. One evening I was getting to feeling an intense bloating in my abdomen, signaling I needed prompt relief or it wasn't at all going to be a fun night, to put it mildly. Through the early part ofthat feeling I felt like a good fart might provide some relief but couldn't fart. No urge to poop exactly came on at first, and it seemed like a long uncomfortable wait before I felt like it was worth a try to go to the potty and doo what I could. Finally it turned into a little bit of an urge to poo. So I went to the potty, where I strained a groaned a good bit until I ws finally forcing a turd out. When it finally hit the water, I looked and was somewhat disappointed that it was only a round turd, about the size of a golf ball (I'd hoped for more from all that straining). On the way out it felt about as hard as a golf ball as well. Trying to look on the bright side, I told myself I must have been needing to poo and I did, so some relief should follow. I left the bathroom and waited, but never felt an iota of relief from my bloating from that fartlessly excreted golf ball turd. I sat down on a sofa trying to get comfortable. Then the next sequence of events seemed to take place over a period of about 30 to 45 minutes, although I didn't time them. Next I got another urge just like the previous, went to the potty, fartlessly extruded another golfball turd with NO relief of bloating whatsoever. Again and again that same process repeated itself: new urge, new same results, another golf ball stool, about the same size and feeling hard as a golf ball, no accompanying farting, no relief from bloating. How many times did the process repeat? Nine times; I counted it, all within that period that seemed like 30-45 minutes. They were all separate sittings on the toilet, as after each one I felt no ability for the time to make anything more come out of my ass. The one bright side to those stools' hardness was they necessitated very little wiping. Otherwise I would surely have wiped my butt raw as hell that night. By then I felt condemned to a life of forever belting out another virtually identical golf ball stool every few mintues and remaining as uncomfortable as ever.
Then again a tenth urge came, in a time period seeming about like that for urges 2-9. I went back to the potty with no other thought but "Here goes again". As I strained expecting to be pushing out just another of the same, the feelings being too much the same as to expect anything different. But when something finally broke loose, big surprise! Not another golf ball turd, but a blast of explosive complete liquid diarrhea! At last, THAT brought a plethora of relief. No more bloating. I felt fine for the rest of the night. No more poops that night, and I slept soundly. The next day must have been uneventful bowel-wise, or I think I'd have rmembered something it.
The evening I described was grueling, but the way it all ende is actually enviable compared to some more recent episodes, even up to today's generally better health. Seldom since that night has a blast of explosive diarrhea alone, without more soon following been sufficient to relieve similar bloating.


anthea
I was at the dentist's the other day where there was a magazine article about "Life's Most Distasteful Tasks". Usual crap (!). Putting out the garbage, cleaning behind the ice-box and weedy things like saying sorry to your loved one. I suppose "cleaning up after your pooch" comes closest to it for me! There's no doubt about my unfavorite (cumulatively anyway) and it's wiping your butt when the shit is somewhere between peanut butter and wet sand in consistency and the smear factor kicks in. It occurs to me that we know next to nothing about other people's wiping habits, though the polls here are informative.

Personally I tear of four bits of tp, fold them twice into the shape of a small sanitary pad. I open my legs and wipe my pussy once from in front. Next I bend right foward and wipe the crack from bottom to top. The bad news comes soon enough. Instead of mopping it up you're smearing it across. When it's really stubborn, I've been known to finish off with my bare hand - but only at home when I know there's hot water, scented soap and a towel! Don't get caught short in a public bathroom without one of those ingredients. Nothing exceptional about any of this, except perhaps the last phase. Let's face it, the whole process is a drag.

Step forward the inventive Japanese! I gather they have revolutionised the whole world of wiping. Don't they have some sort of nozzle or fountain which hoses down the anus? A drawback would be presumably that there is no static water for sound effects. I wish I knew more. Last year we had a Japanese girl on a six-month exchange. Tiny and very shy and with a command of formal English only. I studied her (she was exquisite!) but never once saw her go to through the bathroom. Can anyone shed any light on how the Japanese wipe?

love and love Anthea


fred
does any of you guys watch everybody loves raymond? last night i was watching and it started out with debra and amy and one of their friends gossiping about their husbands, well anyways ray found out something debra said about him and he was mad and one day him and robert and their dad started gossping about stuff too. anyways, robert said that when his wife laughs pretty hard she pees. well anyways i didn't expect them to expand on that, but at the very end of the show, frank came inside the house with a tupee' on and he looked stupid and everybody was laughing really hard, then the camara panned to amy and it showed her stop laughing and then get a troubled look on her face and then she crossed her legs! you couldn't see any wetness that would be going too far for network television but it was hilarious, and it was the first tv show i've ever seen where a woman pees her pants. very cool!


Roberta

First of all tahnks for your reply (the poll isn't mine).
Can you give a longer description about when you peed on the "floor in the back of a supermarket, behind some boxes"?
I had many pee in teh sinks experience in my life, some because of occupied toilet, few because it was too dirty, and some beceuse no tiolet at all...
I peed in teh sink mostly during my university studies.. I had a room in university dormitory in paris, in the female section..The tpipycal room was without a toilet inside and a sink in the room. The toilet and shower block were at the endo of the corridor on the opposite site, not very confortable when you have to do the "Last" pee before going to bed, or the first pee in the morning eith a bursting bladder, or if you woke up at night with a full baldder...I quickly learnt from my universty friend that using the sink was a "classical" solution, sO I and my room mate got used in peeing in the sink almost every night before going to bed and as soon we got up, and some more "emergency" situation, we also used a bucket for washing for night pee, or when we were to drunk, or other emergencies....

Cindy:
A disaster if I try to pee in a toilet dressed, I pee standing only if nacked in the shower or at the beach pulling my crotch aside, situation where I don't have to worry about aiming and splashing (my pee stream tends to aim rearward, so I can't pee "man's style", instead I mostly high hover to pee outdoor and in public toilets)

Rex
Good pee stories, liked the one on the balcony, do you have more?

thanks to all

Kisses

LOl
Louise


Impatient Pooper
I sometimes intentionally hold my pee until I have an accident. However, I'm often frustrated by my own endurance. I can hold roughly 2 full bottles' of water (a bottle is approximately 900 ml) worth of pee. My record holding time was 12.5 hrs during the day, and that could have been more, as I stopped at the point where I could no longer concentrate on my work and I had to start serously fidgeting. I think I've gotten so used to holding that when my bladder is full to the point where most people feel full, I barely notice it. My parents find this very annoying and often complain that it is not healthy to hold it so much (lol).

Does anyone else here hold it until they burst? What are you guys' personal best times and/or volumes?

I'm also interested in poop desperation/accidents. Is there any way to have a "deliberate poop accident" without using a laxative? Or if not, are there any natural laxatives that my parents might have around the house for other reasons?


Fishbone
WAZZZZZAAP!!!!!

I was thinking of a good story to post so heres one:

Every year my cousins have a giant 4th of july party with about 50 people. One year it was especially crowded. They only have 1 small bathroom, so they decided that they would only let the girls use it. (Another peeing-gender segregation event)

Okay, so they figured the guys could just go in the woods. No problem, i'm cool with that. But they assumed that all of the girls had to sit to pee, and couldn't do it any other way. I've read the posts here so I know different! ;)

So after the party and everyone was leaving, and the septic tank blew up! LOL! Too much peeing, I guess! Us guys couldn't be held accountable, since we were not allowed to use the toilet, so we just laughed at the girls' creation.

2nd story:

One time this girl in my kindergarten class a long time ago had to use the bathroom. She clutched her crotch fiercely and loudly yelled
"I HAVE TO PEE!!!!!" LOL! I was almost dying of laughter!


peeple person
today i had a very odd piss
it was clear...
usually its not...odd...
also, I have a bit of a puzzle for you all
if 'pee' sounds like 'pea' but a 'pea' is green
and 'pee' sounds like 'sea' but the 'sea' is green(sometimes)
then how come 'pee' isn't green too???

happy peeing

peeple person


Bryian
Now to answer some surveys....and some stories

To Tina: 1. Almost 23 2. every other day to every day. 3. 4x a day 4.maybe a 10 log and 8 oz of pee 5. goes hard to soft etc 6. N/A 7.Yes 8. a 18inch log 9.alot once i peed 2 min straight after drinking a 32 oz soda 10. Woods, shower 11.store, school work etc.

To Jr: 1. about 10-15 min 2. usally once unless its really soft
3.Morning or late afternoon to evening 4.No 5. Yes

The other day on Saturday i was working and it was almost time for my lunch break and i felt so full in my rectum and stomach, i knew i had a huge ass dump brewing on. I went to the bathroom and sat and pushed. Slowly a log came out i wiped and there was hardly any thing on the paper. I looked at my log and it was about 10" long then i had another small log about 5-6" long.

Then last night i think i remember having a weird toilet dream, about all these open toilets(i dream about this nature every once in a while, does any one else?) well there were all these open toilets,i picked one and sat down and started pooping w/ every thing on my body exposing, then i covered up cause my family was coming in there..weird..
well i gotta run bye


Tuesday, May 04, 2004


blueboy
My story goes back a few years, to when I did a long distance walk across the north of England, called the Pennine Way. On one of the nights I was staying in a Youth Hostel in a little village called Dufton. It had been quite a wet day, and I arrived at the hostel at the same time as a guy and a girl who I guess were about 19 or 20 years old. I can't remember the girl's name, but she was really lovely - medium height, long brown hair, a pretty face, lovely figure, and the most glorious bottom in tight blue denims! She was obviously very intelligent; indeed I found out later that she was in her second year at university. I chatted with them for a few minutes, and it turned out they were on a summer work placement studying the geology of the area, and were staying at the hostel for a few weeks. I then went to my dormitory to unpack my stuff, and then took my wet gear down to the drying room (which was next to the female dormitory and toilets) to hang up above the heaters. As I went back up the stairs, I heard the door of the dorm open, and looked back to see this girl heading into the toilet. I crept back downstairs, and saw that the outer door of the toilets was still open, revealing the three stalls inside. She was sitting on the left-hand toilet (the others were empty), and I could see her white trainers and the bottom few inches of her jeans under the door. I was hoping that after a day at work she might need a 'number two' visit. I heard her having a wee, which lasted for about thirty seconds, and then there was silence for another thirty seconds or so. I was on tenterhooks, wondering what, if anything, was going to happen next. Then came the moment I was praying for - a soft, but clearly audible 'uuughh' came from the stall. Yes, she was definitely trying to do a poo. She then shifted her feet; they had been flat on the floor until this point, but she now went up on tiptoes and moved her feet closer together and further back. They were clasped round the base of the toilet, and she was obviously digging in for a big effort. I then heard a sharp intake of breath, followed by a much louder and more strained 'UUUUUUUGHHHH!' than the first one. She obviously had a big one to unload, and was struggling to get it started. As far as she was aware she was alone and in private, so wasn't concerned about any noises being heard. And that was when the action really started. For the next few minutes, this beautiful young English rose struggled and strained, moaned and groaned, and grunted time and time again in her desperate efforts to get this enormous load moving. Most of the noises were the usual 'uuuuughhh' ones, but she also made other noises like 'ssshhhhuuuuuuugh, 'oooooooohhh', and 'ooowwwwwww'. I could see her feet literally trembling with effort as she tried everything she knew to squeeze this monster out of her bottom, but to no avail - she was solidly constipated. Finally, after what seemed like ages but was probably only about five minutes, she fell silent after uttering a whispered 'Oh Jesus' in a voice that sounded like she was almost in tears. I noticed that her feet were now flat on the floor again - she was obviously having a rest before resuming the struggle with her constipation. I then heard her rip off a piece of toilet paper and blow her nose, before going back up on tiptoes again. A huge intake of breath was followed by the longest groan I have ever heard - it lasted for fully fifteen seconds, and was a sort of 'eeeeeuuugggggggguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!' She had obviously changed her tactics, and instead of making short, big efforts, she had decided to make a long, sustained one - but still her bowels refused to open. Then at last, on her next big effort, she began to win the battle. Another loud 'nnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeuuuggghhhhhh' was followed by several rapid 'aaaah' 'aaaah', aaaah', 'aaaah's. Then, after a few seconds of silence during which her feet trembled violently, I heard a huge 'SPLUNK!!' as what sounded like an enormous, rock-solid log dropped into the toilet, accompanied by a loud 'AAAAAAAHHH!' After a few more seconds of silence, a long loud fart echoed round the bowl - the huge load she had just dropped had clearly been completely plugging her up and it was now time for everything to escape. Another grunt was followed by a loud 'plop', and over the next minute or two she dropped about six more - each sounding small but very solid. She then farted loudly again, grunted once more, then started ripping off toilet paper - she was finally done! Later that night I chatted to her in the pub on the opposite side of the road, and found it hard to believe that this beautiful, intelligent and well-spoken girl was the same one whose constipation I had witnessed in such graphic detail just a couple of hours earlier!




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