It has been said that humans relieving themselves anywhere they choose contributes significantly to the spread of disease. Not being a medical expert, I am still confused as to why humans going outdoors carelessly will spread disease, since animals do this all the time and it doesn't seem to be a problem. We were always taught that all dung is the same (i.e. bad), no matter what or who it came from. Urine is relatively benign, and it's never been a big deal to piss anywhere one wants. However, they always say to "bury your waste", which obviously refers to dung. Nobody in their right mind would dig a hole to bury their piss.
To Lurk: In Goonies, they're trying to get people to hear them so that they'll be able to get out of the cave. They find a bunch of pipes and start banging on them to make noise. Some of them burst and this is what causes the geyser of water under Troy.
Hey Pharmacist, Even though the Tums may get rid of your urge to go, I've heard that holding in your shit is bad for your colon. My doctor said that holding in your shit and gas for long periods of time can lead to colon cancer. He said that when need to shit or fart, you should get out of your system. I know my grandpa did that all the time when he would travel. He died of colon cancer two years ago.
Looks like my post from mid-week got buried due to some server glitches, so I'll repeat the comment. I type this while feeling the urge to go upstairs and have my glorious (I hope) post-coffee shit...so I better make it fast, or I'll have something else to report in another oft-covered category here in the forum. First, Moira and George are always refreshingly graphic in describing every detail of their mutual loaf-pinching sessions. Second, the highly entertaining Asian woman who spread her buns across the john seat as she described her extrusion of jobbies using her hubby's laptop rivalled the 1997 Toilet Forum Imagery award won by pooping girl who corresponded similarly from her camping toilet!
I also appreciate Moira's mention that her husband could get an erection by having a massive log pressing down against his prostate just prior to launch...anatomically and physiologically correct, Moira! Though erections aren't automatic in those cases.
Finally, I remember driving on the Lynnway in Boston in the early 80s hearing a researcher on WEEI Newsradio 59 quoted as saying, "...the degree of protection from colon cancer is directly proportional to an individual's stool output. The more one produces, the higher the likelihood that there will be some amount of shielding from the development of colon cancer." Needless to say, that became indelibly etched in my mind. This would tend to negate any notion of stool retention as a wise or desirable practice. In other words, shit when you have to, and use Tums in the OTHER end of the alimentary canal only!
I have had lots of dreams where I pass huge amounts of the runs (usually not in a toilet) and dreams with peeing, but I have never woken up to find the real thing in the bed. Although oftentimes, it does end up as a wet dream.
Also: I have tried the sticking a piece of soap up the rectum method for getting additonal turds out, but I still find that a plain water enema is better (and less painful). Does anyone have any ideas or experiences with the soap method.
Sunday, January 25, 1998
Well I've been back to work now cleaning school bathrooms. The first bathroom I entered was a first & second grade girls bathroom. Many times they forget to flush. I found several small pieces of shit in the first stall and that was it. I cleaned their potties and sinks and went on to the boys restrooms. They never flush. The urinals contained a days worth of dark, smelly piss and the toilets had been used a number of times without being flushed. I took my stick and broke up the turds in the first toilet and flushed. No problem. Everything went down and I then cleaned the streak marks out of the bowl and wiped the seat. The next toilet required a different approach. There was a big turd and some toilet paper stuck in the outlet. I secured the plunger over the outlet and pushed several times. Then I flushed. No problem. The third stall is the handicapped stall. They love to use this one cuz the toilet's up so high. There was nothing in the bowl, so I just cleaned it and replenished the toilet paper. Each school bathroom takes me from 30-60 minutes to clean depending on how bad they mess up.
Moira & George
Loved Hubby's story about the lovely big jobbie his wife did. Perhaps he can persuade her to let him accompany her to the toilet next time the way we do with each other and rub her ????, hold her hand, and help her do it. Both of us often pass turds this size and solidity, and this is the size of jobbie that George's Aunt Helen often did when he was a kid and which likewise stuck in the toilet pan.
Hubby asks what it feels like doing one that size. I often pass them this big and at first there is a great feeling of fullness in my back passage as the turd slides down and often I will dribble a little pee into the gusset of my panties owing to it pressing through onto a full bladder. As I pass it, grunting and going "OO! OO! OH!", there is a slighly painful feeling as my sphincter stretches to accommodate its great fatness. As Hubby described it so accurately the first few inches are usually knobbily then it becomes smoother and easier to pass and the slight pain subsides being replaced by a lovely feeling as it slowly slides out. At that length 14 to 16 inches and 2 and a half to 3 inches thick at its fattest there is seldom any "kersplonk!" sounds as the start of the turd is already in the water of the toilet pan while the rest of it is still coming out of my back passage. Afterwards there is a slight throbbing in my back passage but most of all a marvelous feeling of satisfaction and relief. In answer to his second question, yes I have very often seen such large jobbies in the Girls' Toilets when I was at Secondary (High) School as a teenager and there were at least 4 other girls whom I personally knew who did such whoppers apart from myself and I have also often seen such big turds in Ladies' Public Toilets. Again I have previously posted about my fat friend Donna who passes such big logs. George has had similar experiences and the only point he would make is that he often gets an erection when passing such a huge motion no doubt from it pressing through his back passage onto his prostate gland. Hope this answers Hubby and interests other readers. Perhaps Hubby can persuade his wife to write about this experience first hand to this website?
Rhonda P, i do that sometimes, but thought it was a little to wild to mention. Hubby, i have trouble getting poops out almost all the time, the a rush of diarrhea (which i use the tampon for). 3 inches around! ouch!!!! i make ones half that size and bleed. its quite painful!!!
Carlos: to answer your questions, I shit no more than once a day(unless I have the runs!), although I do have the occasional bout of constipation.Ironically, this usually happens after I've taken a massive dump; it will be three or four days before I have to go again. My turds are usually long and firm, but when I have to go really bad, I will unload a pile of soft, mushy shit. Needless to say this happens in a fairly noisy, explosive manner. If I am really trying to go when constipated, the best I can normally achieve are the hard cannon balls you mention. I envy you having the experience of witnessing and using open stalls in your college library. The mirrors must have been an added bonus! You must have some interesting stories to tell. What did you and the other guys taking a dump talk about? Would love to hear about some of your conversations.
Mentioning about dreams of going to the john and messing up the bed, I remember when I was in High School, I had a dream of being in the bathroom and taking a very long shit and one of the girls in my class, a cutie at that was talking with me. This went on for a couple of minutes and then I woke up and ended up having a wet dream. Before I woke up, it really felt good to shit like that.
Another time, I had a similar dream when Mom, Dad and I were in the Bahamas my sophomore year in HS. We were in the same room and it was pretty bad. I had to get rid of the underwear that I splooged in and ended up getting a pair I wore several days before but was clean. Looking on the bright side, at least I did not shit in my bed. It would have been hard to hide and to explain.
I've had a toilet dream a couple of times a year for many years. Usually I'm hunting thru a large house for the toilet and I can feel I have to go bad. Sometimes I end up in the womens room, sometimes its a both sex room, anyway the relief that I feel when I finally get to go is tremendous. Then I wake up and find I really did. Oh well I sleep on a waterbed so I get up the next morning and change the bed, no damage to the mattress.
Once I did number two. It felt good too. I just got up an hour earlier in the morning and washed the sheets and underpants.
Even though the Tums may get rid of your urge to go, I've heard that holding in your shit is bad for your colon. My doctor said that holding in your shit and gas for long periods of time can lead to colon cancer. He said that when need to shit or fart, you should get out of your system. I know my grandpa did that all the time when he would travel. He died of colon cancer two years ago.
Saturday, January 24, 1998
Incident at a shopping mall today:
Waiting in line to pay at the checkout, I noticed two girls and their mother before me. The younger girl, about twelve, suddenly distorted her face, pinched her nose and moved sideward giving vent to vocalizations of disgust. The older sister, sixteenish, looked at her questioningly, then obviously caught the message and rolled up her eyeballs while also grimacing mildly. The younger girl said, "Oh, MOM!" and took off across the mall floor. Her older sister glanced around in embarrassment and moved away, too. By then, the smell had reached me and boy, it was nauseating, piercingly sweet and rotten on top of all the stale air in the mall. I gagged and tried unsuccessfully to subdue a cough. Others waiting in line seemed to have noticed it, too. However, mom, about forty, quite an elegant looking lady, acted as if nothing had happened, paid, collected her purchase and away she walked without the slightest embarassment discernible. I wondered if (a.) she was just acting chilly-co! ol, or if (b.) the younger girl had released the poisonous SBD and tried to lay the blame on mom, or if (c.) the older girl had done the deed and was glad her sister had accused the wrong one. Perhaps the two girls had identified the culprit by the smell, or their mom had a reputation for stinking up the environment!?... I just thought I'd share this experience. Good poops to you all, Andre.
In response to the "soiling while sleeping" question... no I don't soil myself at night but about once a year I totally lose control and wet the bed. I'm usually having one of those "on the toilet" dreams and the next thing ya know I wake up in a big puddle ;-). How often does this happen to other people?
I enjoyed your posting (from several weeks ago) about shitting in the library. When I was at college I had some similar experiences. The library restroom did not have any doors and there were mirrors across from the stalls. It was surprizing how many guys did not seem to mind shitting there. I was often constipated and would sit for a long time trying to take a dump, trying to even get the urge. My bowel movements usually require some time and effort, so I would grunt, groan, rock, and fart as I sqeezed out hard cannon balls. It was always great when someone else was in the next stall undergoing a similar experience. Since there were mirrors, conversations often developed. How often do you shit? You mentioned being constipated... How do your turds come out? Long, short, or in ball? Would like to hear details.
I can remember this moment when my wife had to use the toilet one saturday morning as she always does after having her coffee.I went into the shower and before I turned on the shower she had locked herself in the bathroom ready to use it. So I started the shower going and without going in the shower I quietly started to make my way down the stairs to the bathroom door all the while with the shower upstairs going. Obviously she thought I was in the shower and she was trying to have a BM. I was within 2 feet of the door and listened to her moan and grunt terribly for a long time, I mean she was having a hard time getting this one to come out. I loved listening to her moan as it was very arousing. This went on for quite some time as she would inhale and then push loudly but I couldn't hear nothing come out. Finally I thought I better get back upstairs and do my thing and when I came out she was still in the bathroom. She must have been in there for 45 minutes. Finally she flushes the toilet not just once but 3 times. When she finally emerged she looked like she had one hell of a time to get this one out. She too then went upstairs to use the shower and I immediately went down to the bathroom to check out the smell she left behind. It was terribly smelly with a very rich odor and as my eyes looked past the toilet water I could see that her massive shit didn't go down. I was afraid that with the size of the turd and all the toilet paper that it might plug the toilet so I reached in and pulled it out with my hands. This turd had to have been an honest 14" long by 3" thick and extremely dark in color.The beginning of the turd was all knobby and then it smoothed itself out but it was 1 piece totally cylindrical and at the end is where it finally tapered off. To say the least it was massive. I could believe that her bowels could pack such a brute and commented this to her. She was embaressed for me to have seen it as I told her that I had to break it up just to get it down the drain and she asked it I inspected it well and I said yes. She told me that she hadn't gone for 2 days and she wasn't lying. I wish I could have seen this one come out of her asshole as it must have stretched it good and wide and to have seen the expression on her face as it came out would have been worth the wait.Have any females on this topic ever had to push out such a monster? How does it feel coming out? Have you ever witnessed monster turds in the girls bathroom that would't flush? Write back, see ya.
To Doug Shitting wherever and whenever you feel like it WOULD lead to serious disease. Modern sanitation was introduced because of repeated cholera epidemics in 19th century cities due to contamination of drinking water by shit. Many other diseases including polio are spread in the same way. It is significant that counties like India where sanitation in rural areas is poor have a problem with cholera and at least until recently, with polio.
Young: Loved the live origination from your toilet seat! It's early in the year, but this could get the same type of award in this forum accorded to pooping girl when she reported to the group directly from her camping toilet--THAT imagery from 1997 is now supplanted by our young Asian friend and the highly satisfying dump she shared with us...
To GuessWho? and other new members: There are many stories about women and men being desperate and going outside; and also of teachers not letting them go, but before you ask people to write another, check out the Old Posts. There are a lot of old posts, but it'll be worth it, right?
This message is for the Pharmacist (whose's sister used tums to stop thr urge). Is it the pepermint or the other ingrediants that work? I tried just a peppermint candy,but two hours later I had to run to the bathroom to blast out a peppermint load. Now I've inserted just the ordinary tums and I'll let you know the results.
Friday, January 23, 1998
Well now, I have a interesting story kinda like the Tums story. When I have a real runny BM I take some medicine for it and then slide a tampon into my bottom for a few hours to pick up the excess water in my bowels. Do any of the other women here do that? It doesn't hurt but you kinda have to get used to it. I've been doing it for years now. After a couple of hours then I slide it out when I go to the bathroom.
In reply to the question "anyone ever soil themselves while sleeeping?" the answer is yes. Apart from attacks of diarrhea when liquid feces can easily leak through the sphincter when awake never mind when asleep this can happen to anyone. Both myself and Moira have had an unfortunate sleeping "accident". In my own case this happened when I was a teenager. I had been keeping late nights studying for exams and at the end of the week was tired out. Before I went to bed I had done a motion but only passed a small hard turd and knew there was more to come down but was nearly falling asleep sitting on the toilet pan so I got up and went to bed reckining I would probably do a big motion the following morning. During the night I had a very vivid and realistic dream of going to the toilet and doing a big jobbie. I have often had such dreams before this event and since with no ill effect. I must have slept on but woke up suddenly with the uncomfortable sensation of a cold wet! mass in the seat of my knickers (I wear a pair of brief style panties in bed not pajamas). When I got out of bed I found that the dream had been only too true and I had done a jobbie in my underpants. Luckily I hadnt rolled over in my sleep so it hadn't squashed up too much so I was able to go to the toilet, clean myself and wash my soiled knickers in the hand basin and by the morning they had dried over my bedroom radiator. Moira tells me she had a similar sleeping accident when she was a student (before we met) and had got a bit drunk. Her friends left her on the bed in her room dressed only in her knickers and bra. During her drunken sleep she both vomited and did a large motion in her panties and didnt know about it till she woke up with hangover next morning. Im sure such sleeping accidents have happened to many people of both genders and all ages.
(BMG's girlfriend) To Moira: Thank you. We have great time togather and enjoying it. I read many old massages here and none of them reporting live. Well, here I am. I come from my modelling session today and found there's nobody home. My boyfriend Vitara is not there so he must be somewhere else. I feel my need to go to the bathroom to do my BM, so I went inside. I found my boyfriend Acernote computer is left at home. It has PCMCIA PC card and a 56k modem. All I have to do is just connect it to telephone line, dial-up my ISP and browse. I went to the bathroom, I ponytailed my hair, open the toilet cover, lower my jeans and undies and sit down. My bathroom has telephone line, so I connect it to the computer, turn it on, get connected and here I am writing about my BM live. I seat on the toilet, leaning slightly forward, with the Acernote on my tight, while pushing the dump out. Slowly I push my turd out, and Aaah! Kerploonk! there's go my first one. It seem big, about 6 inch long and 2 inch wide with brown colour. I really enjoy sensation! I pushed some more turd Aaah! Kerploonk (again) there's go another one. This one is not as long as the first but has same quality. I look at my watch at my right hand. At this time my boyfriend should be home. I still have to empty my bowel, so the story will continue. OOoops I fart, glad nobody hear. Suddenly my boyfriend show at the door. I never close the bathroom door when I'm doing my BM at home, so he can see me directly. "What your doing in the toilet with my computer?" he ask. "I'm writing to the Toilet Forum." I answered. "Why you doing it in the toilet?" he ask again. "I read most of them, and seem nobody reporting it live" "I see." then he give me a big kiss. "You look sexy with that computer while taking a dump." He kiss me again and I can't resist it. Oh! he's peeing in the wash basin! "Why you peeing on the wash basin?" I ask "You still on the toilet honey..." answer him will zipping up his jeans. Then he kiss me again and go to the bedroom. God I love him so much! Well I feel empty now and I must submit this post before cleaning my self. See ya!
Redneck story: Well, today was interesting. I woke up at 6 am this morning and had to piss out of my ass. I went back to bed and then got up at 7am and went to take a shower. I got in the shower and then when I was almost finished, I had a real bad urge to piss out of the ass again. i got dried and out of the shower and then I had to hit the toilet real quick. It came out good :) with some good sounds. --- Tomorrow is my first day of taking a graduate class. It will be interesting. Afterward, I am going to the workout room and hopefully, I'll have a good shit. There is something about taking a shit in the locker room bathroom.
Just thought I'd add a few flicks in my collection featuring blokes shown taking a dump.If --notorious British Too big to fit
OOoops sorry if I have to pee in wash basin. 'cause Young is still on the toilet and I really have to pee. I log in with my desktop computer, cause my Acernote is still used by her. I can see her turning off the computer (after submitting her post ofcourse) and she's start cleaning herself by pushing the button on the magic toilet seat (It's the toilet seat I brought from Japan, remember?). I hear her flushing the toilet twice, it must be quite big load. Well, I'm sorry if I have to pee in the wash basin. Guess she's coming now. Gosh, if only I have my digital camera with me to catch the moment, it surely good for this forum to put it as weekly picture. I have submit this post and See ya later!
to Curious Girl: I don't have any listing on guys on the pot. I don't like it anyway. to Anyone reading this forum: can you tell me more about movie that have girl on the pot beside I listed?
Tuesday, January 20, 1998
Here's an interesting experience that happened at work. We took a "field trip" to visit a meat processing plant. After the tour, a bunch of us headed to the mens room. There was one toilet stall and one urinal. We lined up and used both the toilet and the urinal. While I was in the stall taking a leak, I heard the guy who was at the urinal say to the next guy in line, "It's all yours." He said, "Thanks, but I've got to take a shit. This room's a little small for all the noise I'm going to make." I left the stall and let him enter. He immediately sat down and took a relatively noisy shit--some gas, some crackling as the stools left his body, a little sigh and some grunting. He seemed totally relaxed about this, which sort of surprised me since I would have been a little embarrassed. In fact, I was a little embarrassed myself as I washed up and talked to the others in line who obviously heard him but didn't seem to react in the least. I'm wondering what others might think about this. Would they be embarrassed? Would they feel relaxed enough to take a dump with a lot of colleagues in the room in close proximity? I might add that the guy who took the dump, Tom, is about twenty-eight, quite attractive, very muscular and virile.
If people relieved thenselves whenever and whereever they were wouldn't there be a disease problem. Poop has alot of bacteria. In the bible, in book Laviticus I believe, the Isrielites are told to bury their feces. They are told not to make their camp a discusting place like the pagans.
Anyone ever soil themselves while sleeping?
Current movie on cable and in art theatres, "Secrets and Lies", shows women on toilet having a difficult movement. From the look on her face, it was a big one.
I went to the Mall of America today to meet a friend for lunch and a movie. I got the urge to go the the bathroom and while I was sitting in there, I heard 2 people come into the next stall. It was a father with his young son. The father adjusted his sons clothing and told him to call him when he was done. I had finished, but sat there and listened, and this is what I heard.
EeeeeeeeeeeeH! Augggggggg! Omph! Kerplotch! Psssss. Psssss.Psss.Pss. Silence. And then: Daddy! I done. Daddy! I done. Come wipe me. Come wipe me. As I was leaving, his father came into wipe him and said what a good job he had done.
I was talking with my sister about airplane lavatories. She is in sales and flys often. I mentioned how small and uncomfortable they are as well as turbulence, waiting in lines, etc. She mentioned that she really hates having a BM on a plane and explained a way to avoid it. (I remember as a kid that she always seemed to have to "go" at the most inopportune times. Now she is a vegetarian and probably BMs more frequently than non-vegetarians.) She tells me that prior to a flight she inserts two peppermint antacids (like Tums) rectally. She said this eliminates having to BM for a few hours. She said she learned this in college (although I did not ask why people in college would want to do this). It seems to make sense because menthol from peppermint is an anesthetic.
Anyway I decided to try it to see if it worked. I woke up on a Saturday morning and felt a real urge to "go" (which is unusual for me in the morning) so I thought I would try it. I lubed up two little wafers with a little vaseline and inserted them. At first I felt a cool, uncomfortable sensation but it went away quickly. And so did my need to "go". By that evening, I still felt no need to "go" and got a bit concerned. I do not often become constipated so I tried a small enema. Everything came out fine and I was surprised at the large size of the BM. There was no trace of the antacids. The effect does not last in that I was not constipated the next day
I thought this information might be useful to people who fly a lot or travel with children or those who go to places where there is no convenient bathroom. I do not think this would work with diarrhea. I also do not advise it on a really frequent basis because it might lead to constipation. I would be interested in other people's opinion of this technique.
I'm a young man fascinated by female urination. I desperately need some young women to answer some questions I have. what exactly happens when girls and women go to the toilet.... I've never actually seen one do a wee.... do you ever go with other girls... I know us boys often stand at the urinal together and do a wee up against the wall..... do girls do similar things... like maybe go to the one cubical together???? What happes when you can;t get to toilet and you need to go??... say if you're off bushwalking or something like that???... or maybe at an outdoor concert where the cues for the toilets are just too long yet you're busting for a wee and just NEED to go URGENTLY????? What do you do to relieve yourself... Do girls and teenage women ever play funny wee games.... like watching each other wee or holding competitions like who can wee the longest or anything like that. Have any young women ever been prevented from weeing... especially by a schoolteacher who wouldn't let you go wee thanks for sharing your thoughts
Monday, January 19, 1998
Although I used to believe otherwise, I have now come to realize that the freedom to relieve oneself out of doors is important. Interestingly enough, in modern society it is okay for dogs, cats, and all sorts of other animals to relieve themselves outdoors whenever and wherever they must, but such is not the case for humans. I assume this is because humans tend to associate relieving oneself with sexual matters. At any rate, it seems foolish to frown on humans partaking in these activities, while animals may do so as freely as they wish.
When you girls stand strait and pee, does the pee go strait down to your feet? Or does it go strait ahead? (without pushing the hips in front or using fingers or any such help, just by standing strait)
I really enjoyed the post from Young, her experiences are very close to those of George and myself. I hope she and BMG enjoy doing it together.
I reply to "Anonymous", I think the 5 or 6 huge logs he saw in the same toilet pan at school were unlikely to have all been done at the same time by the one person. If there were "five or six of them" at 12 inches each that's 6 foot of shit. As a rather plump adult female of 15 stone (210 pounds), the most I have ever done in one sitting was one 16 inch jobbie which was about 2 and a half inches thick and two smaller 8 inch ones which were equally fat. George my boyfriend has done likewise. We both think that this collection of big turds had been done by two or three different people. When we were both at Primary (Grade) School it was not uncommon for girls and boys using the school toilets to do their jobbies on top of someone elses if it was unflushed in the toilet pan and I guess that is what happened in this case.
Readers might be interested in an "accident" that happened to one of my classmates when I was about 10. Anne sat in front of me in class. She was a rather fat kid and a bit "slow" though not stupid. One afternoon I could smell that she was silently farting quite a lot. When afternoon break came she made a mad rush for the Girls' Toilets but stopped short and went "Oh no!" and when I went over to her I could smell a strong odor of human poo and she blurted out that she had had a big accident in her knickers (underpants). One of the woman teachers came over to see what the problem was and we shephered her into the toilet in the School Nurse's Room. When she stepped out of her skirt I could see that there was a great lumpy bulge hanging down in the seat of her navy blue school knickers. Fortunately these were the type of briefs in thick cotton with elastic through the leg openings and as her motion had been solid not loose or runny nothing had leaked out down her legs. The teacher, who was very kind and sympathetic about it, came back with a clean pair of school knickers (there were always some pairs kept in case pupils had such an accident) and as she stepped out of the soiled pair I could see the great mass of the squashed jobbie in the seat of her pants. She cleaned herself up and put on the clean knickers and washed her soiled pair out in the sink, leaving them to dry over the radiator in the classroom. When the other pupils found out they mocked her but I felt very sorry for Anne as I had had a similar accident on the way home from school myself a few weeks previously when I should have done my motion in the Girls' Toilet but tried to hold it in till I got home but didn't make it.
Drew I love reading about your dumps. The de- tails are incredible. The story about shitting in the library with the other guy shittiing in the next stall was sen- sational. I used to take dumps at the library at college and was often consti- pated. The dumps always went better if someone was in the next stall to share the experience. I guess I am not too self conscious about grunting, groaning, and farting... some- thing I usually find mandatory if I am going to produce any results. My shits are normally noisy plopping cannnon balls with a long period between each plop. Lets hear more about your shits Carlos
About 9 years ago I remember while I was a manager at McDonalds and had to make sure the restrooms were presentable, that I was inspecting the ladies room and some woman left this very large turd in the toilet. Itwas atleast 3 1/2 inches in diameter(it looked like it was in her for atleast a month!!)and about 15 inches long! It took 6 flushes and a plunger to make it go down!!!
Sunday, January 18, 1998
Goonies has a scene where Brand's a__hole teen rival goes into a bathroom, sits down, and is happily reading Guns N' Ammo (I believe) when the Goonies, exploring the underground caves, do something that results in a geyser of water from below - I wish I could remember exactly why...
It's Pantomime time again, and I will be on stage all this week (Oh yes I will!). I'm just a dancer, not a principal or anything, but it is a lot of preparation and hard work just the same. Just for you people who are interested in bodily functions, I thought I would share my golden rules for people appearing on stage: 1. Always have a dump before the show. Once you are in costume, the simple matter of going to the loo can be a nightmare. Quite a lot of performers find that their nerves cause them to need a poo, so it is best to to it before the show starts; I make a point of taking a good dump at the theatre about half an hour before the start. Last year, one girl should have done this and didn't - she was doing smelly farts all through the opening number, and we all knew who it was!
2. Drink as little as possible during the performance. I find I can get away with having a pee during the interval and that's all. Some people seem to end up missing entrances because they had to have a pee - very un-professional!
3. Forget your inhibitions! Once there is a show on we seem to ignore the fact that we are undressing in front of each other, queing to use the same loo, even discussing our toilet habits. It's wonderful!
I can remember in grade school there was a boy in my class that must have been proud of the dumps that he left in the restroom toilet, the size of the logs would be up to 12 inches long and about 2 inches in diameter and sometimes 5 or 6 of them in the bowl!!! Which reminds me also, some years later in highschool, I remember going into one, of the many, guy's restrooms, to take a dump and while looking for a toilet that I could use, in one toilet bowl there were two HUGE floating turds that must have been 2 FEET long each!!! I used to think I had large turds(being a teenaged guy) at the time, but I guess it is normal for teens to pass large turds...
Now that I think about it, those of you that smoke, do you recall when you first started smoking, the urge to have to take a dump really bad? I know, I did, and some of those dumps were among the largest that I ever passed...I guess nicotine has a laxative kind of effect when the body is exposed to it the first few times...Let's hear if other people had similiar effects...
This reminds me of trying to be the 10th caller to a radio station for a contest--I'd imagine lots of members of this forum will see the Associated Press story datelined Philadelphia which carried the local headline: "Glass restroom doors are a source of entertainment at restaurant." Here's the uncopyrighted story:
Remember when public restroom blunders involved leaving a zipper undone or trailing a long strip of toilet paper on the bottom of one shoe? A new restaurant and bar for the cocktail and cigar set in Philadelphia's trendiest neighborhood has upped the ante: Forget to lock the clear, glass bathroom doors and tables 11 and 12 have front-row seats to a bawdy dinner show. The high tech doors to Paradigm's three restrooms fog up, but only when the doors are locked. "If somebody hadn't warned me, I would have dropped my trousers in front of the whole restaurant," said Steff Hutchings, a 25 year old from London, remembering a drunken night this week. "I'm still paranoid. It's opaque, but I'm still looking out. Is the joke on me?" The $13,500 doors are giant liquid crystal displays with a 120 volt current. Positive and negative charges fly through the screen when the power is on and freeze into an opaque haze when the power is off. The power switch? The lock. Hutching's barmate, John Minty, a 24 year old Londoner, considered the champagne, beer and scotch they had already consumed. He figured, "It's only a matter of time before we forget." People do forget. And when they do, patrons dining on poached salmon salad and peppercorn and pistacio-crusted chicken breast aren't upset with the management. They applaud, grateful that they got the table near the toilets. Who'd have guessed this would be such a hit among the sophisticates? "When people are whacked," owner David Ciurlino said, "forget it." Well, who'd've thunk that days after my post on a theatre in the round setting with see through partitioned restroom facilities on the revolving stage--that there would be an article about a place with nearly similar capabilities! And now we can all convene in Philly and carry out my plan! Excellent! I guarantee other media will pick up this story from the AP and it'll be on the nightly news as a "kicker" story before you know it! Maybe we can have Jane Pauley in one stall and Stone Phillips in the other--both in the classic "Steph" position on national TV. Imagine that!
It's 7:00 AM here and I awoke with a very full-feeling lower bowel. As I type this I'm enjoying the pleasent sensation of pressure and I'm farting repeatedly.... I'll let you all know how everything comes out later!
Jerome - I don't know where 'Fun with Dick & Jane' falls in the chronological order of toilet scenes in the movies but i remember the first one i ever saw came out before that one (although Jane Fonda using the toilet still ranks at the top of my list!). It was in Brandos 1973 flick 'Last Tango in Paris'. A quickie scene with his co-star Maria Schneider sitting on the pot. not nearly long enough, but like they say, you never forget your first. Back in the dark ages when alt.sex.fetish.watersports was a good newsgroup, this same thread came up and there was a slew of movies that people wrote in about.
Curious Girl - Probably the best source in cyberspace of movie toilet shots (both men and women) is at Patches Place web site. Somebody started a collection of titles and descriptions a few years ago and it's still being updated today. I'd guess there's several hundred listings by now, most of which are available for renting at your local vid stores. happy hunting!
Liz (not the new year's eve liz)
I was watching CNN yesterday and they were talking about how advertisers were putting ads above urinals and in toilet stalls. it was pretty weird. Just thought i'd share:)
DREW: When you are tall and lanky (I am 6'4" weigh 165) and not that well endowed, if you sit on the toilet with your pants down , everybody can see it sliding out. There's no reason little kids should have to see the guy who sold their parents furniture poop coming out. Try it, let me know bud. I gotta get to work now, i try to poop at home whenever possible. Later