Humiliating Experience
I went for a medical examination last week. They forgot to tell me that I was supposed to be "cleaned out" before I arrived. I was given the choice of rescheduling or of being given an enema. I didn't want to have to take any more time off work so I agreed to the enema - what a mistake. I had never had one before and never will again. The nurse that administered must have just graduated from the Marquis de Sade Nursing school. She just jammed in the nozzle and started filling me - rapidly with what seemed like boiling water. After about three minutes I asked her to stop because I was feeling like I would burst. She said that I needed to finish the entire bag and there was about one quarter left. She stopped the flow and had me roll onto my back which she said would be more comfortable by relieving the pressure. When she turned the flow back on I lost it all over the table. What a mess. At least I didn't have to clean it up!

Normally the first thing I do when I come to this page is look for new posts but today I just had an event worth reporting!
I left work, ate a pretty big meal at Baja Fresh (a fast food Mexican place) and then wandered over to Barnes and Noble to look for a book. I felt some pressure to defecate but figured it wasn't too urgent. All of a sudden when I was standing in the literature section next to a nice looking young woman, several waves of cramps came over me. They were quite strong, almost painful. Fortunately I was able to avoid an accident by standing still and waiting for them to subside.
So, I then made it my car and drove home. I immediately headed for the toilet (the urge was still very strong). As soon as I set down I immediately expelled a gust of diarrhea followed by a long juicy fart. I sat there and continued to emit juicy farts, one more short blast of diarrhea. Some of the farts were long and slow and drawn out, others sort of came in bursts.
After wiping several times (always front to back with my right hand while seated, leaning to the left) I got up and noticed a very splattered bowl and brown water and flushed it all away. It really stunk pretty bad too.
It was sort of strange because I had really good dump earlier in the afternoon and this was mostly air but it *HAD* to come out and I would have definitely shit my pants if I had tried to slowly fart to relieve the pressure. I feel MUCH better now :) I really enjoy the reports from the women and hope some day to get to witness a girlfriend going to the bathroom on a camping trip or something. It's not something that I would want to involve *in* sex but the thought of it is a definite turn-on.

i was on the beach this past summer when i felt the urge to have a fart. i had been eating mostly fastfood for the past serveral days so i knew it could be bad. i tried to just let off a little, but before i knew i, i had filled my swim suit with serveral solid logs. i was embarassed but my stomach hurt a lot now and i decided to let off the rest of what i though would be a fart. turns out it was a lot of really mushy and liquid poop that filled my suit up and pushed up my back as a was laying on my stomach. as the last of it emptied out of me, i got up, embarassed, and rapped my towel around my waist. the poop ran down my leg and squashed around my butt. the nearest bathroom was not in driving distance, so i had to ge in my car and drive back to my apartment. what a mess! when i got home i jumped in the shower, and peeled off my suit what a day!

Used a "open stalled" mens room just this week at the local JC Penney. Went in to crap, and found the dude who rang up my christmas gifts up half hour befors. I started talking to him, and asked hi why there were no doors, and he said it was on account of loitering by guys in there. I said it's a little humiliating, don't you think? he said, he was just happy to be off his feet and off the sales floor. Then I heard him let a huge one rip out of his ass, and the whole room stunk. We both laughed. I wished him a happy holiday, I think he was jewish, so I did not say Merry Christmas.

Saturday, December 20, 1997

I had some major gas today. Went shopping, used the ladies room at the plaza, nice because they have the bowl-type urinals in stalls, and I wore just a very short skirt. I went in and began to pee when I popped the tiniest little fart - and the smell was like a dead gorilla.
This causes some problems, as I shortly had a lot of gas to get rid of. The tiniest fart could clear a room, so at first I held it in, visisting the ladies room to let it out. Well this was a lot of work, and the girls in there did not really appreciate me coming into a fairly closed area and turning the air blue. So, I started letting it out slowly and silently, walking along the mall. No better. Soon I noticed a long row of people behind me having problems getting enough oxygen and looking for the source. I took the elevator to the second level, and was alone in it. The elevator had fans in it, so I gratefully farted twice in there. Bad mistake, the fans must not have had an exhaust but just circulation. I got out on the second floor, five people rushed in, and as the door was closing they tried in vain to get out!
Moral of story is to avoid 2 day old taco pizza at 2am, and that the deadly gasses you smell may come from the pretty little girl in high heels who just walked by. ;)
Later, luv ya, lorie!

Had a strange ( for me ) poop the other day but figure it was due to diet -- lots of pizza and cheese, little fibre. The poop took forever to come out and was in fact quite reluctant but with a little effort all finally made it out. No straining but it was really sluggish. Need some ???? and some kraut to really get things moving. Had some ???? chili last evening and that really got the farts going nicely. Pretty normal poops, altogether.

1. to Kelly:
Thanks for the information. I wish you good health, and nice poops, even though yours really seem to be "on the small side".
2. to Simon:
Once I came across the accumulated droppings of someone who shat like you seem to have done. It was at a camping site near a beach in southern Europe, where I found that this someone had relieved himself - or herself, I don't know - on the sand right between the two toilet huts. What she or he had produced looked a lot like you described it, only that it was deposited on the sand in endless spirals, obviously unbroken, thin, and dark colored. There were at least seven or eight wide coils, which did not form a compact pile but were distributed freely across the area of a square foot.
3. to Coprologist:
You seem to be the scientific authority of this site. Regarding b/m volumes, log sizes, etc. - is there any data available about the thickest and longest logs produced, and about the maximum dump volume observed? For instance, I heard about ethnic differences in average b/m volume being quite significant. We civilized people, the piece of information went, shit considerably less than folks living in nature, which is due to nutrition. An average African country dweller was supposed to produce at least twice the daily volume of someone in North America or Europe (mind that this is meant to be strictly ethnic, and not racist at all). Can you verify this? Good poops to you all, Andre.

I recently was hospitalized with a broken leg and was forced to use a bedpan (both to pee and have a bm into). I was wondering if anyone else has had any experiences using one.

there have been times in the past when I had to take a dump but the only problem was that there was no toilet available to take the dump in, you see, I was weeding a neighbor's garden one time during the summer while they were on vacation, and our house was a 1/4 mile away from theirs...So, to relieve myself, I dug a hole in the dirt in the garden, pushed out a nice log, about 12 inches long and a good 2 inches in diameter...I inherited the same tendancy to pass large logs from my dad, as I had the pleasure of watching him take a dump out in the woods a few years before, so I knew that I could do the same...Anyway, to finish the story about taking a crap in the neighbors garden, I had just finished the movement and buried it, cat-style, when our family dog comes running over, digs the nice big log up and proceeds to eat it!!!

To George
Thanks for your last post, and the great descriptions of some really big turds. So both you and your girlfriend are similar in your habits? There must be something different in the water up where you live! Do you have a particular diet that might cause this - or do you think that perhaps there is something in what I suggested before about there being a hereditary factor in all this? Like you, I thought this was mainly an American interest, and I can well believe that Americans are better at shitting - considering how good they tend to be at eating! (Thats meant to be a compliment, before anyone gets the wrong idea!). You mention the "silent" dump - and I can bear witnes to this. Years ago, while at school, I was sciving off from a lesson, hiding in the bogs. I heard someone walk in, go into the next stall, there was the faintest sound of a fart, and a very gentle sploosh, followed by a quick wipe, and I was on my own again - no flush. Well I couldn't resist peeping, so I sneaked out into the next stall - and there in the pan was this enormous monster turd, sticking right up out of the water - all done very quickly and with hardly any sound!

Hi everybody! Iwas wondering if any women or girls out there had any stories about giving urine samples or stool samples, thanx, steve

Used a "open stalled" mens room just this week at the local JC Penney. Went in to crap, and found the dude who rang up my christmas gifts up half hour befors. I started talking to him, and asked hi why there were no doors, and he said it was on account of loitering by guys in there. I said it's a little humiliating, don't you think? he said, he was just happy to be off his feet and off the sales floor. Then I heard him let a huge one rip out of his ass, and the whole room stunk. We both laughed. I wished him a happy holiday, I think he was jewish, so I did not say Merry Christmas.

Friday, December 19, 1997

andre: my poops are usually only about 6 inches long. One log, thats all. If i am getting over constipation, then they will be up to a foot long, and maybe 3/4 inch around. luv ya :)

Read your post Andre. I only do narrow logs and sometimes they are quite short, but once I did a really long one when I was out on the beach. I had to go poo real bad and was holding back and it hurt. I went into the sand dunes. I pulled down my swimming trunks and bent over. I started to do my poo. I watched between my legs as this long thin log came out. It was like a grass snake it was so long before I had stopped letting it out it almost reached the ground. It must have been 18"" long and all hard.

In response to Doug's post on crapping time, I ususally crap from around 1:30 to 3:30 in the afternoon(Colorado Time). Up 'till 2 years, I was born & raised in Indiana and when I came home from work, I usually had to take a dump. I am pretty regular even with the 2 hours difference.
I am starting grad school in the Spring and one of the things I plan on getting involved in is some of the camping stuff especially where it involves both grad's and undergrad's. Camping usually involves more open shitting time :).

I was locked in a stall in the men's room at work today and it was interesting to hear what happened when various men came in to take a pee. There are two types or urinal in that particular facility, the conventional wall hung ones and a separate corner where there is a long wall hung stainless steel trough, which when you pee into it makes a very loud reverberation noise, so that even I who have quite low bladder pressure, make quite a lot of noise peeing into it. It was a quiet morning and I suppose about 6 men came in separately at intervals for a pee. With one exception, they all peed into the trough urinal, presumably because they enjoyed the noise that they made. I always use the trough as well, if I am on my own, but prfere to use the individual urinal if there are other men present. Men obviously enjoy making a noise when peeing, whereas I have heard stories of women who run the water taps (=faucets) when visiting the bathroom, so that no-one hears their pee hit the water.

Here is a script for an ad for PeneloPEE's Sheinal (female urinal) here goes:
Male Voice: Here we have two ladies header for the restroom lets let them introduce themselves.
Dee: I'm Dee (said with a pretty smile and legs slightly crossed) and I need to pee.
Cheryl: I'm Cheryl (said also with a pretty smile) and I need to shit.
The two ladies walk into the restroom.
Dee: Let me demonstrate how PeneloPEE's Sheinal works. (Dee uses the devise, relieves herself on camera and has a pretty smile for the audience all the while.) Now I feel much better.
Male voice: Well Cheryl, she still has to use the stall.
Cheryl's feet can be seen beneath the shut door of a stall.
A warning fart is sounded then poop is droped loudly into the bowl.

To answer Mike (the SW England one that is), Yes I certainly do get a thrill whenever I drop an especially large long fat solid turd and am delighted to leave it behind for other coprophiliacs (to use the scientific term) to see and be likewise given pleasure by and I too enjoy seeing such a lovely big jobbie that someone else has done particularly if it was done by a woman. I can well recall getting a real buzz a few months ago when, after having passed such a whopper myself in a Gents Toilet a couple of men came in when I was washing my hands and entering the toilet cubicle (stall) I had used saw my "torpedo" of about 1 foot long and 2 1/2 inch thick and said "Wow, look at the size of that turd!"
Its great to read of other British fans of defecation. I had thought that only the Americans were openly into this. The previous posts on this Website seemed to be of USA origin from the terminology used, hence my own use of US words and spelling and stating my weight in pounds only not stones and pounds, to suit American readers.
One point I would also make is that the really long turds often dont make a lot of noise only a quiet "flump!" when they are dropped as the start of them is already in the water of the toilet pan while the end is still coming out of the back passage. Both myself and Moira my girlfriend have found this to be the case and I first noticed this as a kid when sometimes my aunt Nellie did the toilet and I didnt hear any "Ker-sploosh!" or other sound and thought she had only done a pee, although I had heard her grunt and go "OO! OO!" a lot, then I would find a long fat jobbie stuck in the pan when I went in after her. Have others found this to be the case both in the UK and US?
Unlike Mike and his wife, there is nothing much to choose between my motions and Moira's. Both are usually about the same size and thickness only her's tend to be curved and usually float, mine carrot or log shaped and usually sink. Hers tend to be a darker brown than mine.
Finally, I enjoy reading all the posts, but would like to read more UK "efforts" particularly from Scots people like myself and my girl friend.
Happy Landings to all!

I am a truck driver, so I can vouch for Vivian's family's rest stop. Not specifically theirs, but many of the smaller, private owned, family stops are like this as opposed to T/A , or TruckStopAmerica, etc. I been forced to crap with other guys right in front of me waiting. It aint a pretty sight, when truckers finally let loose after holding it in for 36 hours, watch out !don't light no matches ! but sometimes I feel a litle embarresed about the smell I emit, and wiping myself in front of strangers. I'm cool with my partner, and he can do anything in front of anyone. Any body else have "open stall syndrome?"
Merry Christmas to you all

Thursday, December 18, 1997

FAMILY RESTROOMS. Has anyone besides me seen the new "family" restrooms at airports in the United States? I think they're great. Do other countries have them? They are unisex and designed to be used by one person at a time. (only one toilet). However, the room is large enough that 3 or 4 people could fit in the room if they wanted to. On a recent airplane trip my 3 year old son peed his pants, shirt and socks on the plane. The family restroom was nice because we were able to get him completely stripped down and get him changed into dry clothes without embarrasing him in front of others. We didn't have to worry about our luggage getting stolen behind our backs either!

(the other one from before)
I was just at Burger King with my brother and I had a two burgers and some fries. Then I was walking around a department store when I felt a rumbling in my stomach. It was starting to hurt, and I knew I had better get to a bathroom. I drove home as fast as I could, and ran in the house. Ran into the bathroom, unbuttoned my coat and ripped it off. Unbuttoned my jeans, tore down my boxer shorts and sat on the bowl. I had a deep fart and diarhhea poured out of me like water. It went on for about 20 seconds. Then I farted and more poop flew out. I feel better now. Love to all.

1. to Kelly, who complains about being a "small pooper": Do you realize that logs usually gain in length what they lose in girth? Would you call it a "small poop" if an average load of 200 ccm comes out two and a half foot long (because that's what it does if the log diameter is three quarter of an inch)? Would you mind telling us about your performance as regards length?
2. to the ladies, concerning their techniques to deal with constipation and help pushing out hard shit:
My wife told me she used a trick I have not heard about elsewhere, not even in this forum (as far as I have followed the posts). When she gets constipated (what is rarely the case, since she is the regular first-cup-of-coffee-please- excuse-me-from-the-breakfast-table-type), she inserts two fingers deeply into her vagina and pushes against the back wall with them. At the same time, she leans forward, as some of you do. She says this helps a lot with difficult emissions. "I simply do not want to push and push until I get hemorrhoids", she explained to me. By the way, I can verify what she says by listening to her from my position at the breakfast table it's good to have a flat with a very open architecture...). Mostly, what I hear after she has hurried off in the morning is one or two, sometimes three muffled splashes when her big logs dip in (she is a lot like me in this respect). Whenever she skips a day, next morning the dry stuff coming out seems to break up into a dozen hefty lumps which cause louder and more resounding splashes when they drop. In fact, it sounds like someone unloading bricks into a basin). The marvel is, whatever she excretes, it all happens within three to ten seconds! She says she does it all in one push, and that she can do it very fast without exertion when she takes a regular dump - but in case of constipation, it's the two-finger technique which does the trick. Any of you ladies use the same or a similar technique? Good poops to you all, Andre.

To Andre
Over a pound is excessive for a BM. There is a lot of reliable scientific data to show that the average daily output from the poop-chute is 150 grams, which is less than half a pound (it's about 5 ounces).
To Myself
The average volume of urine pissed per day is 1.5 liters, i.e. about two pints or slightly more. That is the same for men and women on a normal diet. It is passed in an average of 5 visits of 250 ml per time. However if you drink large volumes, then of course the situation changes.

In one of my posts I mentioned that if you look under urinals, female on the net you will find a portable urinal for women. Reading the women's testimonies about it, it seems to work.

ITS POOPING TIME Here is a listing and commentary about the common times people poop:
1. After a big meal. So I hear this is the colo-gastral reflex.
2. After a good walk or a run. One young lady made walked to a building strange to her. She made a public announcement "I have to go to the bathroom." After she was directed to where to go she was in there for about 10 minutes.
3. After relaxation from a flurry of physical activity. One lady after playing tennis then sitting for a while got up to go to the bathroom when we were having refreshments. I would loved to have kept her company.
4. First-thing-in-the-moring pooper. I have done this only on rare occasions. One time I needed to go when I woke up; strangly, I did not need to poop for the rest of the day. I must have been really cleaned out.
5. The pre bedtime pooper. I had a college room mate who was this. Perhaps relaxation contributes to this.
6. The regular pooper. I used to poop after school. Perhaps relaxation has something to do with this. At the end of the school day the stress drops. Lynn's 12 year old Kelly seems to be like this. Some people poop at a regular time like 9:30 in the morning or at another time.
7. Last but not least there is the random pooper. They just go when the need arrises.
I would like to hear your comments.

George, Thanks for the thoughts on women's learned abilities to hold their bladders and bowells. However, there is an other interpretation of your insight: Women's lifestyles too often preclude them from defecating when they want so they hold it in until an opportunity occurs while men just go as they please. Some women visit the toilet frequently because it is available and, hence, do not develop the ability to hold it for long; instead, the develop the need to visit the toilet frequently. I think this is why we encounter two types of women: those who can hold it forever, and those who can't hold it at all.

Wednesday, December 17, 1997

I went to my friends party on Saturday night and dad dressed me up as an egyptian mummy using bandages so only my hands mouth nose and eyes were free. We played lots of games and had lots to eat and drink. It was then I realised that I could not go to the toilet, but dad would be here soon to pick me up and I could wait till then if I kept running round. I was beginning to want to go pee pee, but we played musical chairs and that was alright and we had some other run round games. I was now really wanting to go and pushing myself hard against the chair of the table to help stop the pee pee coming out. Then everybody had to stand in a group for a photo. It took ages to get everybody sorted out and the camera ready. I was standing behing the dining table by one of the legs. The pee pee was really starting to dribble out every time I pulled back and i couldn't wait any longer. I bent my legs a little so that I was standing right up to the table leg and let the pee pee come out. It went all warm and it ran down the table leg on to the carpet but no one saw it and the photo got taken. We then started to pack up and dad arrived to collect me. One of the girls saw the big wet circle round my pee pee and quitely said to me has the pharo wet his pants. I said yes and she said dosent matter I sat on the carpet and did it too when we played pass the parcel and no one saw.

I took my son Simon to the pictures last Saturday and then we went on to McDonalds where he had a burger and chips and a large coke. When we left he said he was tiered and wanted to be carried -we had spent the day Christmas shopping so I agreed and lifted him up and he put his arms and legsround me. Just then I met a friend I had not seen for some time going in and we started to talk. After a few minutes Simon whispered in my ear "Dad I want to go toilet." I said okay he would have to wait a little, and we continued to talk. A bit later Simon whispered in my ear, "Dad I need to go toilet real bad." "Okay" I said, "Were going now" and started to draw the conversation to a close. "Dad" came a voice in my ear "I can't wait." Just as I uttered my parting words and was about to let Simon down, I felt this warm sensation spread round my waist and down my front. Simon was really wetting his pants and his piss was running over me. Then I felt a warm bulge at the back of his pants and I knew that he had gone poopy in them as well. "I'm sorry dad" he said, "But it just all came out. I didn't mean to.." I told him it was okay and we walked home. It was getting dark so I don't think anyone noticed. When we got home a few minutes later I changed Simon and cleaned him up in the toilet using paper and baby wipes.

Hi Philippe! Just a couple of notes re your comments about my "experience" with Allison. She *asked* me to help her into the bathroom; I happily obliged, but it was HER idea. I'll admit I did feel a little uneasy at first- we're both Americans at a small, New England college (I'm from CT, Allison's from PA), and it's not customary for people to talk about, much less watch, going to the bathroom. You are right about women usually being more "social" when they're in the bathroom- I've casually talked to my friends, Allison, Alex, Jodi, Kara, etc., while we're doing our "business" in adjacent stalls more times than I can count. My college tends to be very liberal, and there's a visible gay and lesbian presence on campus, so I wasn't too worried about what others would think. That having been said, please note that Allison and I both have steady boyfriends and most people in our hall know this. Allison's feeling much better, BTW. She has, as far as I can tell, been using the toilet on her own since late last week. Thanks, Philippe, for the words of encouragement about final exams! I NEVER take laxatives, though- the one and only time I did was a disaster. Luv ya! Peace, Steph

Talking about stalls without doors. Past summer, my buddies rented a beach house, but we spent most of the day on the beach. One bathroom had 2 rows of open stalls, facing each other. Well we 4 of us charged into the mens room shouting about having to take massive dumps, but when we saw the set-up, everyone hemmed and hawed, all of a sudden , nobody had to go THAT bad anymore. I got the ball rolling, cause I really had to go. I sat down. and crackled out a nice log, while the guys laughed about the smell of the whole room, one by one, everyone sat down and pooped, Carl was the last to cave in, so he sat accross me and Jimmy, and some older guy, We were laughing real hard , cause we did not know where to look, couldn't help looking between Carl's legs, and watching his log drop out between his asscheeks into the water. "plop-plop fizz-fizz, Carl sang. We finished, and went back on the beach.

Hey George, thanks for your very full answer. I think your comments about beer may well be part of the reason, but also from your posts, I get the impression that heredity may be a factor as well. You take after your aunt, who you remember from childhood doing monster turds - perhaps it runs in the family? So you are one of these guys who proudly leaves his deposit without flushing, for all to see and admire? Several times I have looked in at a public toilet (even though you only come in for a piss, its good to sneak a look in the stalls!) - and there is this monster, almost leering at you. I think "how on earth did someone produce something that size?" - and here you are happily confessing! Do you get real pleasure when it is especially large - and is that pleasure heightened by leaving it for us unfortunates to see - and envy? My wife certainly gets pleasure from this - she loves to tell me when she has had a good "movement", I sometimes wonder whether she does it to get me jealous, or just to share her pleasure. As you may have guessed, I am from the far South of the UK (SW in fact), and we are probably more repressed than you scots! So do please tell us more about your monster turds, and those of your aunt and girlfriend. You seem to have formed a similar opinion to mine, in the notion that, ingeneral, women are better equipped to produce bigger, thicker turds - I quite like your reasoning. Thanks.

I was reading about how people poops thickness has been an inch to an inch and a half thick. WOW!!! That just seems HUGE to me. I have trouble getting poops half that thick out, which is about all the time. Is anybody else as small of a pooper as i am?

I would like to relate a recent experience and then I have a few questions for the veterans. Recently, after a session of beer drinking, my friends headed back to my car to go home. A friend of mine (female) had to take an emergency pee right next to the car door (trying to avoid being seen and a possible "public urination" ticket). Since it was in a parking garage, we all saw the big shining puddle upon leaving and had a good laugh. It looked like she'd peed a pitcher of beer. My question: 1) Have any women here measured their volume of pee under normal circustances and also "emergency"? Is this old hat, or what is the average volumes for each? Is this more, less, or the same as similarly sized men (or variable)? It seems like guys pee even more volume - or am I mistaken? 2) Second, have any women found an easy solution for an emergency urinal for "in-car" use for when stopping isn't available. Something easy to make (or really cheap) and easy to store and use IN the car. Again what size should it be to handle emergency peeing? - An overflow would be extremely embarassing. ;)

Tuesday, December 16, 1997

To Dotty: I've been reading these posts often, I find them interesting, and educating. My husband and his brother own and operate a 24 hour truck-stop. Occasionally I will help out the counter sales, or cleaning. The womens restroom is a small single occupancy restroom with a toilet, and sink and shower. The mens restroom has 3 cinder block cubicles for toilets, and no doors on the cubicles. I know first hand from cleaning them. But I would NEVER walk in without my husband or brother-in-law going in and checking first. I have suggested that they at least put shower curtains up for some privacy, but they both say it's always been like this, and the truckers (as well as my husband, brother-in-law, and male staff) have NEVER found this to be a problem. Oh well, thats my story. Am I in the minority? Who else would use stall like these? More power to you, I suppose.

My poop today was a minty shade of green. My pee was as clear as water. Two colors I have never experienced, on the same day!

My post on Saturday never made it, so I'll try again. Dottie, man were you ever lucky! Many of us here would have given anything to see eight guys taking a dump! I guess it is much easier to go in an open washroom when there are others around you doing the same and you're not the only one sitting there. I think I would be able to go in front of total strangers or very close personal friends, but not in front of casual acquaintances. Strange isn't it? If a female walked in though, I bet I would react just as those eight guys did!

Thanks for posting my two mails. Sorry to "do a number two" as it where, but I thought the first hadn't arrived.
To "Pooping Girl" I would ask is her Mom of Scots extraction as Scots such as myself use the term Jobbie to mean what you Americans would call a Poopie or a Ca-Ca or a Dump or a Do-Die or Do-Do. English people tend to say "big Job" instead.Scots comedian Billy Connolly uses the term Jobbie quite a lot in his scatolgical monologues.
To answer Mike who asks why his wife does better Jobbies than him I have over the last 35 odd years since the age of 10 or so puzzled about this myself and would offer the following possible reasons:-
1 Women do not drink beer as many men do. Beer with its yeasts and hops and the large volume of liquid in a short time tends to have a laxative effect both hastening the transit and increasing the fluidity of the stools. Also alchohol stimulates bile secretion and too much bile also loosens the bowels. (some laxatives work by this means)
2 Women are more used to "holding it in" from an early age. Often they will not like to use Public or School Rest Rooms whereas boys and men have no such inhibitions. The females' bowels therefore get used to retaining larger fecal masses which solidify more and grow in size until passed. Women's lifestyles too often preclude them from defecating when they want so they hold it in until an opportunity occurs while men just go as they please. I would suggest to Mike he resists having a dump when he first feels the need, (unless it is really desperate and he is risking an accident in his pants), then he will get used to holding it in, his stools will become firmer and larger as more fluid is absorbed by his colon and he will also be able to accomodate larger logs. However dont overdo it as constipation can occur. I personally find that if I have a dump just after lunch say 1.00pm or so it is just right, a nice big solid fat jobbie or two but not too hard or difficult to pass. He should also avoid any food he knows loosens his stools as women seem more able to cope with fruit and vegetables than men and should shun the likes of nuts or corn which produces motions which break up into little bits as they come out. Various books and articles I have read over the years suggest that women have a default condition of always being slightly constipated. This may be to do with their different circulation and musculature or could be hormonal or menstrual. Certainly the shape and size of the female rectum is different from males and this too may account for the fatter turds they seem able to pass .
Glad to be able to discuss such matters freely and frankly just as if disussing sport, or music or any other subject. Hope this advice of use to Mike and interest to others. Unlike most Brits my aunt who brought me up is Scots(in Glasgow) and she had their working class frankness about such matters which fades the further south one goes in the UK and is totally taboo in the Middle Classes, (the old landed gentry in contrast are every open about "pissing and shitting" as they would put it). Alas hypocracy reigns on this natural function. We all do it from the President or Queen to the humblest citizen in the land All the best and be a super pooper . Ill mail some more comments and experiences latter this week.

Horribly Embarrassed Guy
This is an incident that occured to me a while ago. Also, this incident is not very graphic, so anyone expecting any graphic details will be dissapointed. Anyway, It all started when I was at the movies. I was purchasing a slurpee at the candy stand when the girl who sold me the slurpee, overfilled it and it overflowed all over my hand when I was walking to the show. I rushed into the bathroom, trying not to get any of that stuff on my shirt, went to the sink and washed my hands (and the slurpee) When I on my way out, I saw 2 women enter the bathroom. I was very puzzled by this, so When I exited, I saw that the sign on the door said "Woman", and the Mens bathroom was across from me!! I was verry embarrassed by this, so now, everytime I enter a bathroom, I always check to see that I am entering the correct one!! :o(

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