Punk Rock Girl: You have some of the best stories on this forum! I enjoyed the part about your poop not wanting to come out and just hanging there. My bigger logs very rarely just slide out; they always come out little by little, just like you described.
No time for new stories today, but I'll try to post a good one this weekend.
(I'm having trouble getting this to post. Sorry if it shows up multiple times!)
Punk Rock Girl
I was telling a girlfriend about this site and she gave me one of her stories to share with you. When we were in college, she went away to Central America for two weeks with her biology class. She was badly constipated for the entire first week, she even started eating stuff she was sure would give her diarrhea, but nothing worked.
They got to a village where they were going to stay for a couple of days, and she could barely stand it, she was so bloated and in pain. She noticed that they had a hose. So that night, after dinner and everyone was inside taling, she snuck out to the tool shed where the hose was. She lubed her ass with soap and stuck the hose up it. She turned the water on just a little, and felt it going in. It was actually warm. When the pressure got to be intense, she turned the water off and pulled out the hose, and cleaned it off with the soap.
She waited for as long as she could stand it (like twenty minutes), then went to the latrine. This posed another problem, because there were three "toilets" lined up in a row, with nothing between them and nothing blocking them from view from outside. She said it was like a dugout with toilets. She was too desperate to care.
She pulled her shorts and underwear down, sat on the seat and let it rip. She said it felt like she was shitting out her guts. Everything that had been compacted in there came rushing out. There were a few people (some men) who could very obviously see her, but she said she didn't care, it was such a relief.
Now that's not the worst part. She stood up and wiped, then went to pull up her shorts (which were around her ankles). Just as she was about to grab them and pull them up, she saw that a gigantic scorpion had climbed on them. She yanked her hands away and froze. Finally she yelled for someone to help her. She said she was too scared to be embarrassed, even though she was standing there with her pants and underwear around her ankles. The people ran over, and when they saw the scorpion, they stopped short. One of the guys ran to get the maintenance guy. The maintenance guy walked over and said, "Oooh, that's a poisonous one." He bent over and picked it up by its tail, took out a knife and cut its stinger off. Then he put it in his pocket and zipped it shut so his dog could eat it later!
Once she caught her breath, she pulled up her shorts and went to her hut. She said she could barely sleep for the next few days! She seems to think it's funny now, but she said at the time it was the most embarrassing/frightening thing that ever happened to her. She spent the rest of the trip checking and rechecking every toilet area before using it.
I'm not scared of bugs (I have a pet scorpion and a tarantula, both of which I play with), and I'm okay with people seeing me on the toilet. But a mixture of the two could freak anyone out. Especially if the bug could kill you!
My then-7-year-old brother "pat" once pooped in his pants, and then shook the feces down his pant leg until it fell on the floor.
When I was being potty trained, I once pooped right on the bathroom rug.
My then-11-year-old brother, "Al" once came out of the bathroom and announced that his "turd" looked like "E.T." Sure enough, it was shaped like an alien head, with dark spots where the eyes and mouth would be. Picture not availiable.
About a week ago, I needed toilet paper, yelled at Al that there's no toilet paper, he replied, that's not my problem, and I informed him that I would make it his problem, moments later, a roll of TP rolled into the bathroom.
Hello everyone. It's been a while since I last posted. I've been lurking, but haven't had any really good stories lately.
Today I remembered an event that happened during my freshman year of high school. In my drama class, there were restrooms in the back of the department, which were often used as dressing rooms or rehearsal areas. While giving us the tour of the department, our drama teacher began telling us a story of a restroom mishap that occured about two years ago. A few kids came and told her that the boys bathroom was consumed with an intensely horrific odor, making it impossible for them to work in there. So she went in to see if someone had forgotten to flush, but each toilet was empty. She looked around, in the sinks, on the floor, etc. but failed to find the source of the odor. So that afternoon when the custodian came to clean, she told her about the nasty smell in the restroom. About ten minutes later, the custodian told her that he too could not find the source of the odor. Then just before he was about to leave he remembered that he needed to empty the garbage cans in the r! estroom. That's when he found that someone had pooped in the trash can! He told her what had happened, and she had no idea who would do such a thing. She never did find out who did it. So now whenever she gives the grand tour of the theatre deparment, she always says "Please do not poop in my trash cans." What puzzled me was how it got in the trash can in the first place. I doubt anyone would want to pick up a piece of shit, so I thought "Did they pull down their pants and just hover right over the trash can?!" But that would run the risk of someone coming in and seeing that going on. I have no idea what their method was of getting the poop in the trash can.
Hi yall I have a totally embarrassing story to tell I was getting my regular belly massage (I only wear a towel around my waist) I have been a little queazy lately and it felt great when I had to fart I was trying to hold it thinking it might be a stinker but it was making my very large ???? (7 months along) cramp so I just kinda let it slip out when this whole load of mushhy diareeha came out. Obviously "Kara" knew I what I did but she asked me anyway and I told her I really had to go potty like now so I trashed the towel and ran as fast as I could (naked) I didn't care if she "saw me" I had to go. Sorry to report I haven't heard from Mark in about a month in a half and he is giving up all of his parental rights to our new baby claiming isn't his. What a loser!
Hi, my name is Matt. I have been looking at this site for over two years, but have just decided to post now. I am from central Maryland, right on the border of D.C.
ALANA: I really enjoyed reading your McDonald's post. I found it very exciting. Do you like pooping outside? I do, mostly because you don't have to waste water flushing, it is very comfortable, and it can't get stuck in the toilet! What's your record for the longest you can hold in your poop?
Hi. My name is Anthony K. I am 14 years old in year 10. I live in Australia. I am considered handsome by a lot of people. I have a lot of stories to tell about myself taking a shit.
My first story begins at a recent camp I've been. It was wilderness adventure type of thing. The first night was a very close one because I almost pissed and shit myself. It was about 12 midnight when I felt a need to shit and piss. At 6 am. I went straight to the toilets (compost) and shat a few big turds and about 1 quart of piss. When I stood up to wipe I realized I needed to do more. I stood up and left anyway. We went to the next campsite and I wanted to shit there. The toilets there were different. About 50 metres away from that campsite there was a toilet with no doors only surrounded by trees. To know if the toilet was occupied, you would take a bag with to roll of toilet paper with you. SO I went and I was excited. My first time to shit on a toilet in the woods. I quickly wiped and left
To ALANA: I liked your story! Did that girl know who was in the stall at mcdonalds? I hope she went home after cleaning the restrooms...in foodservice that is the last thing to be done! they aren't supposed to go back to work and handle food/utensils!
To Punk Rock Girl: I liked your story! Who took longer shitting you or your brother?
I was at work very early this morning. I was a little busy when a sudden urge/cramp came on to shit. I was almost done my first assignment and then i went to the bathroom and pooped. Then i started on another job and i had to poop again. It was a bit soft today. After i pooped the 2nd time i felt better. gotta run. bye
I'm a girl fourteen and this is about what happened last year at our annual camping trip. My Granddad takes my two cousins amd me camping in the Blue Mountains in New Hampshire. Usuall mu aunt and uncle prepare food but that year my aunt went to some festival she had food entereed in.We always hve a great time we fish, swim, hike, compete against each othe in knotting techniques and name trees and birds and stuff. So my Granddad had Nanna make great seafood sandwiches and along the way bought cans of beans. My cousins and me were thirteen, thirteen and eleven. We had finished eating lunch and Granddad was guiding us along a deer trail, it was so quietand preety that time of the summer, we came upon some deer tracks and decided to split up into pairs, Mikey and i stayed and a doe came along we crouched down so we wouldn't be seen and were very quiet when my stomach started to rumble, the doe seemed to perk up it's ears, and I held my breath as it actually came over toward! s us, the doe was about three feet from us when I suddenly felt a shiver and farted, Mikey was crouched behind me and i ws praying I had not farted into his face and hoping it didn't smell bad but of course I could smell it's stinkyness, the doe had stopped a foot or so from us and was now staring at us as if we were aliens when suddenly mikey farted so loud i could only think of a starter pistol. The doe took off zig zaging away. I made Mikey swear he wouldn't tell about hearing me and he said he heard and smelt it and that it wasn't that bad, it made me feel better but I made him swear anyway. Well all night long farts and mor farts could be heard from us in our sleeping bags and we must have scared all the animals. Now I'm not so sure I will go this year because being fourteen my cousin is now aware i have a butt. I know these things happen but it's so weird when they happen.
me and my friends were playing in the park one day and iam 12 and john was 9 and tim is 11 and john kept putting his hands in is pocket and pulling up his pants and we were playing on the slides and he just started running to the swings and sat and swinged and i ran over and started swinging too and i saw something dripping under his swing, and i looked and saw his pants were real wet, he peed his pants bad and i said dude you peed your pants and he said so and i laughed at him i t was funny and my other friend came over and said dont laugh i had an acident to and i looked and he had wet pants to so i laughed at both of them, we walked back home and some girls were looking at them so weird cause they were to old to pee there pants anymore. i hope i never have an accidnet. the last one i had was when i was 7 and was playing tee ball and i was sitting in the dug out and really had to poop but i was to bat next so i thought i could wait and i walked to bat and it started coming! out and i batted and ran to first and it all came out then and my coach saw me pulling my pants out of my but and stopped the game and he took me to change, i was embarased cause he had to clean my poop out of my pants. Bye
Did anyone here watch "Friends" last night? Phoebe had a great line where she said that drinking tea gave her the "trots". The line was repeated by Monica later in the show. If I'm not mistaken, that might be the first true female poop reference in the history of the show. There have been poop references involving the men on the show, mainly Chandler and Joey, and there have been some pee references involving both the men and the women (one show even featured Chandler peeing off-camera on Monica to help cure a bite she suffered). But I don't remember any previous poop or fart reference involving the women. Does anyone?
KIM AND SCOTT--Thanks for remembering me! I didn't know anybody missed me. I haven't been to the site for awhile and I was trying to catch up when I saw you post to me. Thanks.
Well, I don't think I have any great stories to tell right now, but did anybody watch Making the Band last weekend? The guys were backstage and Ashley and Trevor were arguing about Ashley's head set not working right. There was a bathroom stall behind them and 2 urinals to the side. Ashley undid his belt buckle and walked over in front of the far urinal, but they never show him peeing. I was getting so excited b/c Ashley is so hot, but they had to ruin it by switching the camera over to Trevor...:( then in the previews for this week, they leave Ashley behind at a restaurant b/c the people in both vans think he's with the other group. Then they show him leaving what looks like a bathroom to find he's been left behind. it seems like this show just gets more bathroom shots every week!
Adrian, I live on the East coast and the bus drivers here will not let passengers off between stops also. It's a safety issue if the person gets odf the bus and is hit by a car or falls the bus driver is responsible and can be sued. The company is only resonsible for accidents that occur at sesignated stops.
just found the site and started reading some of the old posts
i have a question? does anyone know any movies with guys pooping
and farting in them? please let me know thanks
Ben In Iowa
I've been having a bad case of Diarrea today. Last night while we were shopping I got hit with a really bad wave. So I started twards the bathroom. There were three stalls. I took the middle one since the other 2 were taken. Right when I sat down I released a a huge batch of it. It felt like peeing out of my butt. Then I wiped like five times and looked to see what I did. The water was nothing but brown water. Then I flushed and left.
Heres part two. When I got home I started surfing the internet when I felt a fart coming on. I let it go. Big mistake. My undearwear started filling with the watery diarrea. So I waddled to the bathroom to finish going. I then threw away the undearwear and took a shower. I think I'll wear one of my mom's baby-sitting diapers to bed tonight just to be on the safe side.
Just want to comment on a couple fo stories from Thu, Mar 7 stories.
First, I enjoyed the story by Gruntly Bogwell very musch about watching the two twin girls taking dumps.
Second, I was laughing hard at the story by Alana and her lesson for the girl working in the McD's. A while back, I posted about the one time I had to shit very badly, that is, diarhea. I stopped by the college where I am getting my Master's degree to take my runny shit. I was on my way home from work. The bathrooms were near the University Center's desk and there was this girl who worked there that day. She and I had a falling out a couple of years ago, long story there. When I came out of the bathroom, she gave me an attitude and mentioned that she could hear me taking a shit and mentioning how disgusting I was. I would like to do a lesson for her mainly for my pleasure. If she had to clean the bathroom, I would see about performing Alana's plan but a simple string of farts upwind and within earshot of her after eating beans might be enjoyable.
Another story, a friend of mine worked at Blockbuster's back in Indiana and he was working with this girl. He stepped away to basically go take a dump but she was so inqusitive in a bad attitude way and he finally mentioned that he had to take a shit and she got disgusted.
Lastly, about a week ago, I was at the library and I was behind this kid who has the kind of looks that women would go for. He went into the bathroom to take a dump and I followed, I had to take a simple leak. The kid was basically a stranger. This past week, I saw him a couple of times and chatted with him, seems pretty nice. Even though I am straight, I would enjoy buddy dumping with him such as, no pun intended, bullshitting.
Well, that is all for now.
Hi everyone! I am a female who has often read your posts, but I have never posted before, but I thought I'd share some of my stories with you. Personally, I agree with Ben In Iowa and some of you others that the feeling of an accident in your pants is nice, but I prefer the feeling of pee to poo. Warm and wet and relaxing. When I am at home alone, I often see how long I can hold my pee in, then run to the bathroom with a pair of old gym shorts on and wet myself standing in the shower or a tile floor. The problem with this is, sometimes I don't make it! One time I was sitting at my computer when my bladder lost control. I tried to stop, but it didn't work, so I thought, what the heck, if it's going to happen, then I'll enjoy it! It soaked into my pants and into the cushionned chair, and felt awesome, but what a mess! Another time, I was watching t.v when I realized that I had started to pee. I barely stopped it, then got up to run to the bathroom. On my way, I started to let ! go, and ended up with pee all over me and the kiitchen floor. At least it wasn't tile! The other night, I was in bed, and woke up. I was too lazy to go to the bathroom, so I grabbed my towel from the hook in the wall, folded it up, and put it under me. I then fell asleep, and as I hap expected, woke up with me wetting the bed! Luckily, none soaked through the nig towel, and no one found out because I washed it myself. I have always thought that it would be fun to be with a boyfriend in bed and to start emptying on him. Has anyone ever done that? Well, that's it. Bye!
ALANA - You didn't flush that mega-load at Micky D's, did you?
Here's a desperation story about me. A few days ago I was driving my wife to the airport in a city about two hours away. (Actually, she drove over and I drove back.) We weren't really late, but with all the new US security measures in place, I wanted to be sure she had lots of time. I'd had my usual morning coffee and a good pee before we left home and I thought that would hold me. About halfway through the trip, I could sense that I'd need to pee again soon, but I thought it could wait for a good hour.
As we drove through the destination city, BAM! The urge to go hit me hard. I started squirming in my seat and holding myself. It got worse by the minute and I hoped the people in nearby cars wouldn't notice me. At last we were on the last leg of freeway, just five minutes from the airport, but that still wasn't close enough for me. "Pull over right now!" I said urgently to my wife. What a comedy! There were some thick bushes back from the highway, but there were lots of thorny vines in front of them, so I couldn't get back there. I must have looked like a fool dancing in the bushes. Finally, I went near a small tree, the only one nearby, faced away from traffic but with my back and pee stream in plain view, and let go one of those wonderful, relieving pees. A couple of cars honked at me but at least the police didn't wander by in mid show.
My wife had a good laugh afterwards. "You were acting like a second grader," she teased. Where's she's from, in Europe, no one would give a second thought to a roadside pee.
Friday, March 08, 2002
Just thought I'd mention this because I'd not seen anything posted about these before.
I was in a Megabowl (Bowling Alley) tonight and had to pee.
There was a long stainless-steel wall urinal, but the weird thing about this one, was that the upright part was slightly angled backwards, and it was made of a transparent material (perspex I suppose).
Behind this was a row of TV screens, and at the time they were showing a football match. It was quite weird to be peeing in someone's face - I'm not into that sort of activity!
Are these setups common, or are they unique to the company, or even just this one site?
Plunging Plop Guy
Hi to you all,
Rather than say yet again about how enjoyable my shits are these days, with all the details being the same as the last few weeks; or even better two days ago!, I'll describe yesterday's BM which was strange.
I had a good one in the morning, assuming I was done for the day, then in the evening, felt the need to go again. I sat on the toilet and for about 10 minutes worked very hard at trying to do a constipated shit that consisted of medium size but bulbous shaped turds that left my arse a bit sore after.
Anyway, later on I didn't feel all that relieved inside and wondered if I would have to have another difficult session. This was 3 hours later and as I stood up after having sat down for a good while, felt as though I might need to go again soon, then as I stood to make myself a drink, felt an urgent one coming on. As I rushed to the toilet I could feel a soft motion making its way to the exit, and as I sat on the toilet, started to do several fairly easy whoppers. I mean about 5 inches long and about an inch or more wide. I felt a bit sore again, but I'm baffled again by how I sometimes produce so much!
Also why I was constipated, then loose within a few hours.
It was like, and this has happened before, that even though I have satisfying shits every day, there seems to be a "backlog!" building up.
and every so often I have a megashitting day.
I went again this morning as usual, but I can't help wondering if I'm shitting for someone else!
I once told someone of my interest and he said he'd find the smell difficult to cope with. I usually find I produce an aroma that can sometimes pervade not only the bathroom, but into the hallway sometimes, but only rarely do I find it unpleasant. I have been near people who have farted and been revolted by the smell and felt almost sick sometimes, and so I put it all down to diet. I think meat can tend to ferment in the gut, and smell very ripe and strong if left too long before a BM, but normally as long as the turds sink, the only time the shit is giving off its smell is when it's hanging out ready to drop. although as I said, farts can be strong too.
At the public toilets I go to, there are extractor fans and I hardly ever smell another person's shit, but recently as I was entering the main door, I met two guys coming out. Also coming out with them was a strong smell. I stood aside to let them pass, and one thanked me and looked embarrassed. I thought "I bet that was you!" I went into one of the cubicles where the smell was not much stronger than it had been at the doorway, so it seems the smell does act like a gas and mix with the air in any confined space. I think it's actually hydrogen sulphide when it smells lke rotten egs as this did, though methane is I think the main component.
I used to notice some people had a tendency to always produce the same smell so one's own gut Ph is probably a factor.
If the majority of people are disgusted by shit because of the smell, I can certainly reassure them that in my experience of being in public toilets, with or without extractor fans, it's only sometimes I've been turned off by the stink. Usually, it's been a smell, or an aroma, or often nothing at all!
Happy times to everyone, P. Plop Guy
Louise (with Steve)
KIM AND SCOTT - Hi girl!!! Yeah there is a lot of countryside here and some people ride horses but I have never done that. I know Steve has done some horse riding but he likes his fast cars more.
Yeah it is a shame I can not invite some of out friends here to come to our wedding. I bet we would have to check there were toilets big enough to take logs. LOL Thank you and Scott too for being with us in spirit!
TIM AND SARAH - Hi! I think my mum just sort of worked it out herself how to stand and wee and get it to shoot forward. She taught me how to get it to shoot forward when I was 9 but I think I used to still stand up and do it as an experiment and stuff before that just like your daughter does now.
Hey did she want to aim her brother's willy while he had a wee? LOL She wants a water pistol but she does not care who it belongs to does she, just so she can aim it? giggle Did he tell her to get off? I can not help myself giggling thinking about that.
Yeah I bet if she holds herself like she is pretending to be a boy then she is pressing her pussy lips shut in the middle. I bet that is what she is doing and that will be why if she keeps her hands off and just stands there she can do a good stream. You know I think most girls and women can wee standing up without using fingers to aim unless their streams are very very weak and dribbly. Do you know how I mean? Josie's pussy will be pressed shut tight, so she will just get the wee bursting out and going all over. I bet that is what she is doing wrong. So she needs to do the opposite of what she is doing. She does not have a knob like her brother so she will have to hold herself open down there. Her mum needs to tell her that really, that is how I think it should be. Tim why do you not have a bath with Sarah and then she will be able to practice weeing standing when she is splaying her lips? You can help her there you see because you will be looking how she is holding her! self open. Using a urinal is a great skill to have for a girl and you know I think it is Sarah's duty really to teach Josie how to do it. Sarah will have a lot of fun learning and I bet you enjoy it too! It will be a giggle for you.
Hey did you say you had a big sister who used your willy as a water pistol? LOL
I am marrying Steve in early June and I just can not wait for it. Yeah, Steve and I have a lot of fun and we do a lot together. He is just a fantastic friend, and he came home today with a yellow bra and thong set like I said I wanted.
Would my life have been worth living if I hadn't?
No it wouldn't!
That's what I thought. Good thing I got what you wanted then.
I should think so too. You will get a reward later...
No he is great really.
Will you think about what I said about Sarah learning and teaching Josie?
Love Louise xxxxx
RICHARD/USA - Hi guy! Well I am happy that you liked my pee at work. I am happy you get to see your wife have a wee when you are hiking as well, but it is a shame that she does not put on a show for you. I really love putting on a show for Steve and well it is so obvious how he likes it. Hey well the warm season will be here soon and then it may be that you will see your wife having a pee off the trail, and she will be able to see you too. I really like watching Steve pissing as much as he likes watching me do it, and I like catching sight of other men doing it as well if I can when we are on the nude beach and stuff. You know Steve and I bet a lot more people are interested in peeing and seeing the other sex pee than they will say. A few of my friends have seen Steve have a wee and my mum has too. It is not just how he has a big dick that has made them want to look at him but it is good to see him squirt his big stream onto a wall or something.
Well I think it is good you get to hear the girls tinkling where you work. I bet you would like to see them as well! I know you can not bring the subject up and that is a shame really.
Hey if you are in the bathroom does your wife never come in and wee? Will she only ever do it if she is on her own in there? It would be nice to be close to her if she did, wouldn't it? Would she be unhappy about you going in for a pee if she was in there having a bath or something? Do you think if you and your wife had a bath together like I do with Steve and you both had some drinks, would she make you leave the room so she could have a wee? Well may be she would just do it sitting in the water or something, I do not know.
Hey would you like me to tell you about a wee I had at work yesterday?
I had a meeting to go to and I knew it was going to be a long one, and I thought well I had better go for a wee first. I did not really want to go much this time but I thought may be I would be bursting in a bit. Well I went to the ladies again because I thought I did not have time to go to the men's toilets I like going in. How about I take you through it like I had you in there with me?
Well I have sneaked you in the ladies with me and I have taken you into a stall and shut the door. There is not a lot of room in here is there? I am wearing a skirt that does not come down to my knees and I lift it up so you can see the little blue thong I am wearing. Would you pull it down to my knees for me please? Thank you! You can now see my pussy with its thin strip of short sandy coloured pubes above it. Well I back over the toilet bowl and you are watching me from the front. My skirt if all the way up so you can see my pussy very well. Are you ready for me to start? All right then, I am relaxing and letting my wee come out. Well I am trying to get started, really. It is just not coming out. Oh yeah, I can feel it on its way now, oh yeah. My pussy is just dripping a bit now and now a bit more. There is some wee trickling out, can you see? Yeah? Oh gosh its coming out more now and what a big twisty gusher I am now doing on the front of the bowl! Oh gosh you like wa! tching that don't you? I did not think it would get that powerful because I was not too desperate for this wee! Well I wish that gusher lasted a bit longer but I am not doing a little trickle again. It is just a few drips now just running out of my pussy. Those were the last few drips and can you see how I have little yellow drops hanging from my pussy? Please get some tp and wipe them for me. Wipe back to front please, that is it. Thank you kind sir! All right sir can you please pull my thong back up for me? Thank you very much! I can let my skirt back down again now. Now we are outside the stall and I do not know why I am washing my hands because I have not touched anything. I will wait outside while you wash your hands shall I just in case another girl wants to come in and gets a nasty shock when she sees you in there. LOL
Richard, this is Steve speaking.
Louise actually sneaked me into the ladies room some time ago in the manner she has described above. It was certainly more than I expected when I turned up to take her to lunch! Although I think the pee she had the time I was with her was more urgently needed and probably more fierce in actual delivery than yesterday's according to her description, I can confirm that witnessing Louise in action in a toilet cubicle is always an amazing experience.
Louise here again!
Richard you do not actually need to put your name in the body of the letter. You can get it in bold properly by putting your name in the little box above the bigger box your letter goes in.
Love Louise xxxxx
INA - Hi! I think I am getting good with the travelmate now when I have no pants on. I had a bit of a swordfight in the bath with Steve when we tried knocking each other's wee stream off course. LOL It was a lot of fun.
Hello, Ina. Yes, ha ha, last night's bath was a good laugh. I'm sure you that if you had seen us, you would probably have been shouting your support for Louise in blasting my urine stream out of the air with her own.
I think Louise is right with the comments she has made recently. I agree that to be able to use the weapon ...er... I mean the travelmate <snicker> would be very helpful in situations when she might feel vulnerable or for some other reason none of us have thought of yet. She is right in that for me to watch her using the device is a fun alternative, I do prefer to see her performing without it. That is in no way a criticism of the travelmate, as it is unquestionably practical, and for many women it is obviously an invaluable aid. As Louise has said already, I too wish you well with the device if that is your preference.
This is Louise speaking again.
I need to practice putting the travelmate in place through my zipper in my jeans and then it may be I will have got it mastered.
Louise and Steve.
Some time back someone posted about going into a Women's Toilet and being amazed at finding a huge turd stuck in the pan. From about 45 years of practical experience I can assure him or her that this is a rule rather than an exception.
As old time readers will know in my childhood home in Glasgow, Scotland, we had a toilet pan with marvellous "kersploonkability" and to use a recent expression many a "Cullumpton" was heard by me over the years when someone else was doing a motion, especially female relatives and neighbours etc. The other helpful feature of our toilet in those days was that the cistern took a while to fill up and didnt have a very powerful flush. It could cope with small turds but any really big jobbie would remain behind in the pan taking repeated flushes, or a bucket of water being thrown down, or even being pushed over the "hidden bend" to go away. Thus I was often fortunate to see the jobbies that others had done when I went into the toilet after they had used it for a poo.
I soon noticed that women and girls left bigger turds behind than males. Now this didnt surprise me when the user had been an adult woman, after all, she was a grown up, far bigger than a kid of Primary (Grade) School age, ate a lot more and as even then I knew that motions were the waste product from what we ate, (later I was to learn that there are other constituents as well), I wasnt too surprised. However when a cousin of mine, Anna, who was the same age as I was then, 8 and of a similar build did a motion in our toilet I was surprised that although her jobbie was of a similar size to those I then did, about 7 inches long, it was a lot fatter. I wondered if she had been constipated or had been holding it in, but next day she did another poo and passed a similar fat jobbie. I can recall that it made a lovely "KUR-SPLOONK!" as it plunged out of her back passage into the toilet pan.
Over the years I have observed that , all other matters such as build and type and quantity of food and drink consumed a woman will often pass a fatter, more lumpy jobbie than a man, a real "panbuster".
Once I was installing a computer network in a customer's new offices which were being fitted out. I saw that they were installing the toilet pans and that some were bigger than others. I asked if these were for the Director's Toilets or something, but the plumber laughed and said No, they were for the Ladies Toilets. Intrigued, I asked if this was to cope with flushed sanitary towels or tampons. The plumber again laughed and replied, No, women did bigger, more solid turds than men, (he told me he had seen some reall whoppers!), and these often got stuck in the toilet pans, so his firm tended to fit larger pans in the Ladies. I have observed this in other toilets over the years and have to say that these larger pans have a far better "Kersploonkability" or a higher "Cullumpton Index" than the smaller ones in the Gents toilets. BTW has anyone noticed that there are other places with "Toilet Sounding" names. If "Culumpton" s the sound made when a nice big fat solid jobbie d! rops into the toilet pan then "Plimpton" would be a little jobbie, and " ????ton" a medium sized one, say a hen's egg sized one.
Has anyone else similar observations? My own theory is that the female rectum is wider than the male and thus fatter jobbies can build up and form as it expands more to accomodate such a large fecal mass, while the male rectum is narrower and cannot expand as much. Anatomy books tend to bear this out. Also many women, especially those who have had children, have a tendancy towards being somewhat constipated especially about the time of their monthly period. My wife Theresa certainly is!
Nice big solid ones to all!
Sarah S and Meghan
Yes, it is midterm and SPRING BREAK!!! I am here, finally!!!! Meghan and I are so glad for the rest!! We were at a party yesterday evening. It was a law school function and I invited Meghan along. We had been eating, drinking and dancing for awhile. I motioned to Meg that I had to beat it to the toidy. She disengaged herself from a male and we headed for the loo. I had on tight slacks so I had to work to get them down. Meg was already peeing when I sat down. I pushed and a gusher of pee flowed from my bladder. Meg, of course, had to do one of her trumps. I felt a log inch out of my ass. It really hurt. I started whimpering and Meg said;"are you ok". I said;"no, this thing wont' come out". Well, Meg couldn't come over and rub my ????. This was in public. I pushed and pushed. As luck would have it we heard two male voices enter the ladies toilet. Meg froze. I said;"this is the ladies,guys". They just laughed and entered the stalls. One of them peed but the other one pull! ed down his jeans and a big fart ripped out. Meg said;"oh shit"!! The "gentleman" replied;"yep, it is"! As it happened a law faculty member came in and spotted the guys and ordered the first one out and told the other one to see her when he got out. She went to a stall and weed for 30 seconds. She wiped, exited the stall and stood by the door. The topper to this is that she looked at our stalls doors and said;"oh, hi Sarah, how are you?" I just about died and Meg burst out laughing. By-the-way, the two guys got in a bit of trouble with the Dean. We went back to the party and had a great time. At least I was cleaned out. It felt sooooooo good!!
COUSINS KENDAL AND LAWN DOGS KID: Hey there!. I want to say it is wonderful to be back. I really missed you. ANDREW, that guy that saw Meg on the bowl was a law school friend of mine. He is not my boyfriend. I really kicked his bum for that. I told him that if he wanted to see a woman on the toilet then he could either wait for me or go to the internet. I thought about you when I was in distress and knew you would help me(blush). KENDAL: It is a great shame that your posts aren't getting in the queue. The knees wees would look rather tame. We look forward to your next adventure. I have not told you that I think that Ellen is so sweet. You are doing a great thing. Are you back at school? We would love to hear some school stories. We are going to South Padre Island Texas for a few days starting the 11th. Isn't that where LindaGS lives? We will post again before we have to go back to school. Take care!! Lots of Lovexxxxxx and hugs Cousins Sarah and Meghan
ELLEN: Hi!! This is Sarah. I haven't gotten to say hello, yet. Hope you are ok. I think Andrew and Kendal are the best. Take care! Lots of Lovexxx and a big hug Sarah and Meghan
EPHERMAL: Hi gal!! Well, we are on spring break. It is such a relief. We are glad you finally got a good dump in. Sarah- I finally cleansed myself, too! I feel so much better. We are going to the beach for a few days and then it is back to the books. We want to tell you that we love Jewish prayers. Our dad sang them so beautifully. We went to Synagogue with him when we had a chance. We are not Jewish but we have a menorah and we observe the Jewish celebrations. Hope your spring break is soon. We will be thinking about you!! Stay in there!! Lots of Lovexxxx Sarah and Meghan
INA: Hi sweetheart! We are missing you. We haven't gotten the travelkits yet. We are really going to need them. Are you weeing outside? How is your designing coming? Hope to hear from you, soon!!
Lots of Lovexxxxx and a hug, Sarah and Meghan
ADELE: Hi there! We are so glad you are back. We are Robby's daughters. Sarah- I have a lot of trouble with bleeding when I have hard jobbies. I was worried at first but it is just the tear of the skin. We hope things are fine in Brighton. Talk to you ,soon! Lovexx Sarah and Meghan
TIM AND SARAH: Hi there! Dad is very careful now that he is over 50 and has had a recent heart attack. That really scared us. We are glad that Sarah is ok and is more at ease with this forum. We think your children are so cute. Mum taught us standup weeing when I was 14 and Meg was 10. She thought we understood the concept and wouldn't go running into a gents loo. We are looking forward to the travelkits. We drive nearly an hour back home so we may need them. We always think of you. Lots of Lovexxx Sarah and Meghan
LOUISE AND STEVE: Hi sweeties! Hey, we would have loved to have seen Steve gush with his willie!!! Louise, those are very good signals to use when getting desperate. We have never thought about that. Meg just squeezes her legs together and starts running. Your gusher was a good one. Both Meg and I wear g-strings or thongs(sp). You must be a beautiful lady, Louise. Meg has modeled some but I haven't. Meg and I wore short skirts to a frat function a few months ago and we had to wee bad. We really were thankful for those dresses. We had to squat in the bushes!! Our travelkits haven't arrived yet. We will give you a report. Take care, Lots of Lovexxxx Sarah and Meghan
PV: Hi, gal!! We are waiting in anticipation for our travelkits. We weed in the gym shower the other day. Hope you are watering the plants in Adelaide!!! Take care, Lots of Lovexx Sarah and Meghan
RIZZO: Hello dear man! Sarah- I do remember weeing on the jelly fishes. I nearly fell off the boat!! Mum had to hold me and Meg was sitting on my feet. It was a funny experience. By-the-way, Dad is singing the solos for the "Requiem" by Faure. We will be in the orchestra. It will be performed on Good Friday evening. Our poos and wees seem to be regular now. We hope you are ok on your trip to the Continent. Take care, Lots of Lovexxx Sarah and Meghan
COUSIN: We are sorry that Linda is doing poorly. Tell her hello. We are coming to Padre Island for a few days. Isn't that where you live? I know we will survive the onslaught of fun! Take care, Sarah S and Meghan
JANE: We know how it feels to be accosted in the toidy whilest we have our movements. It seems you are destined for it! Say hi to Gary. Lovexx Sarah S and Meghan
WE KNOW THIS HAS BEEN A LONG POST! SORRY
BIG HELLOS TO: Carmalita and the gang!!, Amy(co-ed), MERE AND MANDY, Kimmie and Scott, Todd and Diana, Rjogger and Kathy, Adrian, Bryian, Gruntly Bogwell-great story. We think you are fab! Althea, Jeff A-where are you, LindaGS, Melanie- great story!, David and Niki, Punk Rock Girl, Gopweller, Upstate Dave, Mayla, Jennifer, Alana, Jay, Halley, Erin, Eleanor, Mina, Amazon, Elena, Happy Ass- glad you finally succeeded!, Ellie and Little Lou-where are you!
STAY SAFE AND BE HAPPY IN THE TOIDY!!
SARAH S AND MEGHAN
Just reading posts yesterday about the toilet on the train brought back some memomores.
I remember taking long train trips with my parents at times. I never really wanted to use the toiet on the train, but had to a few times. Always had to just pee though. I remember the conductor coming thru the coach, to the doors, and hear banging and slamming of doors and stuff as we approached a stop. I think they were locking the batroom doors as we came to the station.
Never thught much about the bathrooms on a train however. Then I had job as a paperboy and would meet the train at the station to get my bundles of papers. I noticed under the cars, where the bathrooms were, a giant spinning 5 foot"fan" driven by a thick belt.
I was courious about this and I was told that as you used the toilet on the train, and flushed, the waste would drop and the fan would scatter it over the terrain outside.
Thus is this where you get "THE SHIT HIT THE FAM" comes from?
I know then one day our science teacher explained this also, and siad, not to stand too close to the tracks as the train went by, (wiping his eyes, laughing)
I suppose this is true, wonder if anyone else knows this as a fact or has any comments...
After that, I kept my distance from the train coaches as they passed by,, yuk... lol.
South Jersey Ted
I've been lurking around this forum for a few months now but haven't posted before because I don't have much in the way of toilet adventures in my personal experience. Mostly I just take special pleasure in observing the public activity of others especially what ends up on TV or in the movies. Several people here have commented recently on toilet scenes on TV shows so I thought I'd try a report on one I've just seen.
On Monday night the US network ABC aired the premier episode of a new series, "The Wayne Brady Show" from 8:30 to 9:00 pm ET. The show has a music/sketch/improv variety format that on this episode included a sketch that the TV Guide synopsis glossed over as "a bathroom-stall serenade".
The scene opens on a restroom set with a main door on the extreme right and a row of 4 stalls from the center to left. Immediately 3 men are seen to march in single file through the main door with Wayne himself bringing up the rear. They cross the stage to the 3 leftmost stalls, stop in front of them, open the doors, enter, close the doors while spinning around inside, drop their paints and underpants to their ankles, and take their seats all in unison with almost military precision. The camera lowers closes in on the feet and trousers visible in the gap under the door of the left end stall as the guy in there begins tapping his toes with his right foot to set the beat. The shot pans right and widens out to reveal all 3 guys tapping their right feet in unison. As this happens they drop their hands below door level and begin rhythmic finger snapping while a "bum, bum ... bum, bum, bum" vocalization leads into a sort of doo-wap rendition of the song "My Girl". Wayne of cou! rse sings the lead part and just befor the chorus calls out, "Everybody in the stalls join in..." which they all do. The song is basically performed acapella but at each point where the phrasing would normally be punctuated by an instrumental flourish the distinct sound of a fart is substituted. While the song proceeds the camera is focused on the gap under the doors which exposes a display of trouser-strangled sit-down dance steps and hands alternating finger snapping with open palm waving in the best tradition of Broadway musical choreography. As the song comes to an end, everyone is surprised by the head and shoulders of a woman popping up above the partitions of the rightmost, apparently empty stall. She is apparently standing on the toilet, looking down into the stalls of the other 3 guys and asking them to join her in a new song which she starts to sing. The guys, however, bolt out of their stalls so fast that they are still pulling up their pants as they are running a! cross in front of the stalls to the main door. Whatever she was singing was lost in the noise of the guys exiting the stalls and the audience uproar at this point. This was the end of the scene, although we get an instant replay of the guys pulling up their pants on the run in an inset screen during the segue to the next scene.
I don't know if future episodes will include such daring-for-prime-time-network-TV scenes, but it certainly would be in line with Wayne Brady's sense of humor. This must be obvious to anyone who has seen some of his improv performances on "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" (US version but maybe also UK version, I can't remember for sure). It also gives hope that he ended the pep talk to his castmates that opens the show with the line: "Let's go out there and make some poopy jokes!"