Now that Christmas and New Year are over and our machine is less occupied, I have a chance to at least try to catch up on what has been going on here since my last post.
Dear Jeff A., You have turned me into an accomplished musician! I wish it were true. I have to disappoint you though, sorry, I cannot play Liszt on the piano. In fact, I don't play the piano at all. And I only started to play the flute when I was 47, as a sort of experiment. I found out that it is adictive! The tune I played sitting on the toilet is from a music book where all the pieces are either by Joachim Andersen or by Ernesto Köhler. Only „Consolation" does not have the composer's name given. But still, it is a lovely tune in F which sounds like something written by Kurt Weill, and my instrument is playable while sitting on the toilet after all! I had the score propped up on the wash basin opposite. Now as for a piano….. :-), you'd have to take the toilet to the piano, that is, sit on a bucket while playing! Take care, love to you from Rizzo.
Hi Renee, dear cowgirl, now mother! Just found out that you have already given birth to Malita Jean! Congratulations! And I had put down the date for the 18th of January in my agenda! So it was before Christmas after all! Love to you and to the rest of your fabulous family (three mamas and one papa) and friends! Hugs, Rizzo
Nu, what a story, did I laugh! Jake was really up to the mark by declaring that he was taking care of a pair of mental cases! Please post again! Your description of Carmalita and of your friends endears them to me! And your observations about the smell of poop corroborate with mine. It depends what you have eaten the day before (have a kippered herring or, if not available, a sandwich with tinned sardines in the evening, and the next morning you will know what I mean), and if a day is left out, the poop smell becomes sort of stale and a touch sour, doesn't it? Give my love to the whole gang, cheers to you from Rizzo!
Oh Tim! I am so glad that you are back! I can imagine how you feel. What I want to say is that you should now enjoy each day with your young family as a precious gift not to be wasted. You should not worry too much about a recurrence, I mean, don't become a hypochondriac examining your every turd with a magnifying glass! On the other hand you should have your routine check-ups, and if you notice anything out of the ordinary, even if it is something that has apparently nothing to do with the intestines, such as a persistant head ache or even an unfamiliar pain in the knee, go and have it checked. Live with a positive attitude and you will be allright. Here's a manly hug from your friend Rizzo!
Hello Ina, thank you for that lovely glittering standing pee you did for me! You are quite right, I am not intimidated by women standing to pee. Quite on the contrary, I try to encourage the standing pee method. And yes, I have had life long practice with my instrument, which in my case was included in the basic equipment upon delivery ;-) Yours is an optional extra; but I see that you have already made excellent progress! The bonus in cold Europe of the last weeks is surely noticeable: less danger of frosbite on your bottom when having to go outside! Keep up setting a good example, love from Rizzo.
Now to my dear niece Kendal! I see that you and Andrew have not posted for some time, and I do hope that this is due to you being so surrounded by family and friends, that there was neither time nor opportunity for weepy moments or for this forum. Just in case I do not have another chance to write to you in time, I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday!!! I suppose your Uncle Robby will do the singing part, because I find my voice useless for such occasions: a sort of out-of-tune croak. For you I first thought of playing something while on the loo, but that was an exclusive stunt for Jeff A. Then I had the idea of going to the beach early in the morning (at low tide on your birthday) and pee „Happy Birthday Dear Kendal" in the sand. This I also rejected, because I have doubts about my bladder capacity. I might run out of pee in the middle of the phrase. But I have a present for you nevertheless: A Women's Standing Pee Club emblem for Junior Members! This is a cabochon ! (bulged) pink rose quartz half an inch across, set in a silver Venus symbol and suspended from an inverted V with a silver link to be worn as a pendant on a leather thong necklace. The design is very similar to the one I had described to dear PV. The stone here is however purposely set slightly above centre to mean: „Aim high!" Important for trying to get your stream over the pushed-down waist band of those blue undies! (Chuckle! I guess you will need lots of practice for that) How do you like the idea? You think that it is fantasy? I must tell you now that it is not. I rummaged for my old tool box for making pretty things out of silver, and after sifting through little silver scraps and some semi precious stones left from the past, I found the bits and pieces to put the emblem together. You cannot imagine how much I enjoyed every minute of designing, cutting, hammering, filing, brazing, quenching and polishing and thereby thinking of my little niece – you! I think it looks! very pretty and fitting for a young girl. I have even thought of a plausible outside-of-the-forum interpretation: „ Young girl (the Venus symbol) under a shelter (the inverted V), the shelter being the home provided by her loving Aunty and Uncle. Or, taking into account the stone set slightly up towards the V, this could be: „Young girl rising to be gathered up in the arms (the inverted V) of someone who loves her and cares for her, which could be your Aunty, Andrew, your Uncle or anyone of us. So there you are, the emblem is here on my desk in front of me. I wish I could let you have it.
So, my dear Kendal, I wish you all the best plus Many Happy Reliefs, and send you my love with an uplifting stubbly but soft hug; your Uncle Rizzo.
Hi Robby, I have not forgotten you. You seem to be getting much better. But what is all this about plympted turds you wish to produce? To my understanding a „Plympton" is the sound a turdlet the size of an olive makes when it drops into the bowl. If you wish to do those, I suggest you do them in two digit numbers at a sitting. Our dear PV refers to these graphically as „bum shot". I would suggest „Cullomptons" – logs of substantial size to make a big splash and noise, and to make you feel less heavy (lose weight) every time, until you reach the optimal compromise between the resonance needed for your voice and doctors orders. Take care and love from Rizzo.
Sarah S. and Meghan, I saw one and a half posts from you, so I came to the conclusion, that you were still under the effect of jet lag. Yeah I know, it makes you feel as if they were serving breakfast at two a.m. coming over here, and your urge for a morning bm sort of gets you at lunch time; and going back you wake up hungry and needing to go to the bathroom also at two a.m.! I hope you get over it before the concert, which I am so sad not to be able to attend. Love to both of you from Rizzo!
To RJOGGER, Kathy, and friends. Noreen certainly organised a most fantastic poop party! You guys are really the limit! You made my sides ache from laughing, and almost made me shit in my pants too! See the post below. My wife gave me and my permanent grin curious looks when she came back from shoppping. Thought I'd been up to something, which is true in a way. I had been here! Love to you all from Rizzo.
I thought that it only happened to others here, to have near accidents or an accident while reading the posts on this forum. This time it was I who sat with my eyes riveted to the screen while I felt the rapidly increasing and unrelenting push of turd against my ring. It seemed to be gaining purchase by pushing up from the inside against my belly button. I squirmed, just wanting to read to the end of Rjogger's sixfold poop party on the old bath tub before dashing off to the bathroom, but in vain. The push became overwhelming, and only with utmost willpower which made my bum holding muscles quiver, was I able to force the emerging „turtle head" back in. Bouncing around did not help either, it just made my eyeglasses drop off the end of my nose, so that I couldn't read the screen any more. It was no use; I had to dash off to the bathroom before I could read about Noreen settling herself into launch position, tore down my jeans and white cotton Y-front underpants, slammed m! y bum on to the seat, and in only five but glorious seconds, ejected a huge jobbie into the pan, where it came to rest coiled up like a snake wanting to strike. It was not very thick, about one and a quarter inches, my ring did not have to give much way because of the softness of the shit, but in length it must have been a three-footer. It completely diplaced all the water in the bottom of this European toilet. (For US toilets it would need someone like Alana to do the same). Looking down between my knees it was then that I saw with dismay that I had a brown smudge about the size of a two euro coin in my underpants – a „turtle's kiss". Drat! Well, it meant putting on a fresh pair, the second pair on that morning.
I wish you all pleasant and relaxing trips to the toilet, Rizzo.
Monday, January 07, 2002
why is it that guys always have conversations why they use the toilet but girls just sit there hope that no one can hear them do there business why is this
OK now a story about me. I'm trying to think of one that isn't a singer story, but right now I can't, so bear with me for another. This one's about my college opera workshop in freshman year. I was the only freshman to get a role outside of chorus, and I was quite intimidated by the older students I was singing with. We performed on a stage but had to wait backstage without dressing rooms or bathrooms. To go to the bathroom, you would have to go out in the audience and thus didn't. I was drinking water as usual and waiting and waiting. Sure enough, before long, my bladder began to fill. I tried to ignore it, squeezed my legs together, moved a little from foot to foot. Finally after about an hour it was my turn to go onstage but my bladder felt like it was bursting. After I had sung, I was supposed to be dead and lie motionless on the floor. Well, when I was singing, holding my pee wasn't so bad because I had to walk around, but when I was lying down, I couldn't move. I squee! zed my legs together and prayed, but I had to go so bad, my stomach hurt, and little squirts of pee began exiting bit by bit and I was terrified it would show but I knew I was not supposed to move. By the time the scene was over, my underwear felt like it was dripping wet. I got up carefully and raced to the bathrooms, but by then a lot of the audience were there and I had to wait in line with them. Of course, they all talked to me about how they enjoyed it and blah, blah, blah and I was trying not to cross my legs but losing more and more little squirts. There was still a lot left for the toilet, and I peed a strong stream, then went and changed my underwear for another pair when I changed my costume (luckily, the one I'd had on was very pouffy and dark coloured and hit a lot.)
The next night, I tried to cut back on the water a bit, but the same thing happened at almost exactly the same time. This time, I was even more urgent and to hold it in, had to resort to sitting on a chair with my legs crossed rocking a little. This time, I had to go so much that one of the older girls I was scared of noticed and said, "Diva, do you have to pee?" There was no point denying it, so I said "Yeah, really bad." She said "You can't sing like that," and I said "I have to." She said "There has to be something we can use - I know!" and she grabbed a bucket that had been a prop for an earlier scene, and a sheet, and told me to pee in the bucket. "No way!" I said. "I'll wait!" She told me I was crazy and if I had to go, I should go. Finally, I gave in because I knew if I had partly peed my pants lying on the floor the night before, this time there could be a puddle that everyone would see. She held the sheet and her friend helped me with my costume. My pee hissed l! oudly into the bucket and took a few minutes. The girls said "See, good thing you went now" and some other people, mostly guys, were like "What are you guys doing? Are you pissing behind there?" I was so embarassed, but I felt very relieved. After, the girls cleaned the bucket. After that, we became good friends and they helped me out of a lot of other tight spots.
I just remembered a non-singing story for next time, about how I peed my pants in my car. Next time.
Happy New Year everyone! Here are some pee stories for those who are into them (personally, that's all I'm into.) I decided to start with some stories of times I've seen OTHERS have to pee (I don't have as many stories of seeing other people's accidents that some of you do.) In no particular order:
I remember when my best friend "Kathy" and I were 12 and her next door neighbour got 4 free tickets to a movie premire, and took her cousin and the two of us. Kathy had a large coke during the movie. The movie was quite long, and I was soon aware of her squirming around beside me. Nearer the end of the movie, she drew one leg up underneath her and was pressing her bladder into it. I recognized that desperation trick. Surprisingly, I don't remember personally having to go myself, which is unusual for me. Right after the movie, one of the other girls said she had to go to the bathroom, but Kathy stayed outside with the rest of us. She came out quickly holding her nose and said it stank, it wasn't cleaned and she'd wait till she got home because she didn't have to go that bad. We went outside to wait for Kathy's neighbour's aunt to drive us home. I had won a free soundtrack and we were all looking at it except Kathy, who was squirming around and pacing up and down. She had ! not said she had to pee and no-one commented on it, but it was obvious to me. Our ride took a long time coming and Kathy's face became quite anxious. Finally our ride came. I sat beside Kathy and she once again sat with her leg pushed into her crotch and was very restless and quiet. I remember feeling sorry for her on that long drive. When we stopped in front of her house, she dashed out of the van and had to ring her doorbell and wait for her mom to open the door. On her doorstep, she squirmed around crossing her legs and bending over. When her mom finally opened the door, she ran in and I remember imagining her rushing to the bathroom right away, maybe already partly wet.
Another time in junior high, my history teacher took the class out to a Greek restaurant after studying Ancient Greece. Halfway through the meal, two of my friends excused themselves to use the bathroom (that time, I had to go too and was thinking of going myself.) They walked in and walked right out, giggling. The teacher got mad at them for being rude and they explained that the bathrooms were disgusting, so after that, no-one went. Afterwards, we waited outside for our parents to pick us up. I was squirming in a way I hoped was discreet, but my friends didn't seem to care. They were dancing and jumping around chanting "I have to go pee!" One of them was even grabbing her crotch in front of everyone saying "If my dad doesn't come soon, I'm going to pee my pants." Their parents came before they peed their pants and the next day in homeroom, they talked about how bad they had had to go and how they just made it home.
Another time, also junior high, I went to Girl Scout camp for a day (about 9 am - 6pm or so) and we set up a camp in the wilderness somewhere complete with a toilet that was basically a trench in the earth with a curtain around it. We were all disgusted that we had to go there, and one girl, "Sarah", said "There's no way I'm going there. I'll just hold it. I'm the sort of person that can hold it for, like, none hours." Our leader said, "That is how long you'll have to hold it." The rest of us were all thinking the same thing. At lunch, one girl was holding herself and jumping up and down and our leader told her to stop being silly and go, so out of necessity became the first to use it. By the time luch was over, I had to go really bad but was still trying to hold it. We went to play hide and seek in the woods and I remember hiding, squatting on the ground frantically holding myself and rocking back and forth. When I began to lose spurts of pee into my underwear, I gave u! p and raced out of hiding to the trench. It actually wasn't that bad, and I ended up using it again before we left. Everyone else eventually did too, except Sarah. By the time we lined up to count before getting on the bus, Sarah was pacing up and down and crossing her legs, and our leader told her to go because it was a 2-hour drive home and there were no bathrooms on the bus, but she said she'd be OK. Out of curiosity, I made sure I sat next to her, and the whole trip, she crossed her legs and squirmed. I wanted to see if she would hold herself, but she didn't. We got back to the community centre and Sarah tried to go in, I guess to use the bathroom, but the doors were locked. Looking very upset, she sat on the bench and rocked wildly back and forth waiting for her ride. She was still there when my mom came.
In college, I worked in a daycare and we took the kids on waterslides. I went up with a little girl who was about 10 and very cute. It was a hot day and the wait for each slide was almost an hour. As we waited, I noticed that this girl, "Joanne", was crossing her legs every now and again and bouncing around. I asked her if she had to go to the bathroom, and she said no, but continued to look desperate, jumping from foot to foot and leaning the front of her into the fence and kind of pushing. She was still holding on when we got to the top. I wondered if she would pee in the water on the way down, but when we got down, she was still restless. She wanted to go back up right away, and got very offended when I suggested we go to the bathroom first. In the next lineup, she seemed ever more desperate, sometimes sitting abruptky down on the ground on her leg, pulling up her bathing suit repeatedly to put pressure on her crotch, and constantly crossing her legs and bending over.! She still didn't pee in the pool because when she got out, she was holding her crotch and jumping around. She went and sat in the hottub for a while, squirming around and holding herself, and finally shot out, said "I have to pee!" and ran to the bathroom. She was dripping wet so I couldn't tell if she lost any before she got there.
Once when I was about 9 our teacher was in a bad mood and fed up with people constantly asking to go to the bathroom, so she said for the next half-hour before recess, no-one else could, we would all have to wait. The guy who sat next to me kept whispering that he was going to burst and bouncing around. Another guy got up, went to the teacher, whispered in her ear, and then left the room cupping his hand over his crotch where we could all see a wet spot. No-one made fun of him, we were all mad at the teacher.
Those are the main ones that I remember, but if I think of more, I'll post them, too.
Larry in Arizona
Well I ate too much chili again along with a lot of other mexican stuff plus a LOT of beer. My gut was rumbling and digestin' all afternoon and was really full as I was drivin my truck along the highway. I knew what I hadda do. So I found one of my large paper bags I keep under the seat just for this type of emergency. I pulled my pants down and sat on the edge of the seat with the bag underneat me. I let them bad boys out inta the bag damn near fillin her up. This was one of them large grocery store paper bags, that hold a lot o shit. I found some ol rags that I wiped my ass with. Them rags was so dusty I dunno if it helped or messed things up more. I tossed the rags inta the bag and then the whole thing onto the side of the road. Jest like before, I come back the next day and the bag had been checked out by some one! They prolly thought it was valuable, and I wish I was there to see their face when they found the pile of shit in the bag! Lot of bums in these pa! rts that will check everything out by the side of the road to see if it's something they can use! Last year I shit my pants and tossed ma unnerwear by the side of the road and eventually it rotted due to the bacterial activity after about six months. I like leaving my shit like this for some one else to find.
Hello everyone, I do the Santa bit in the mall every year, I have some interesting stories. The first story is this year as the kids came one by one and sat on my lap, they were crying and screaming, you know the usual stuff kids do. Anyway it came to be this little boys next turn. He was wearing a tan striped polo shirt and a pair of tanish brown jeans, as he walked toward me i saw a big wet patch partially down one leg and a small wet circle on the front of his shirt, he peed his pants. The first words out of his mouth before he sat on my lap were "I'm sorry santa I had an accident, do I still get to sit on your lap?" I said of course you can, I asked how old he was and he said eight. Then he began telling me what he wanted. At first I smelled the urine then I started smelling the strong poop smell, he had pooped his pants also. When he was done I asked him if he did a number 2 and he said yes. I said your a little old to be having accidents. He said I really had to go an! d I wanted to see you so I couldn't get out of line. He was by himself, no parents. I said well in that case you are forgiven. I wished him a merry christmas and sent him on his way, he left a damp patch on my knee. I will tell more later.
Well with a bit of encouragement from Lancs Lad and my fella Paul, I finally produced a long firm tail! I had on my white t-shirt, no tights or knickers and the tiniest (and tightest) black leather miniskirt ever! I stooped (revealing all cos my skirt was so tiny!) and gently forced out my load - and boy what a load it was! It just kept growing like a huge snake!! It was dead hard so I stood up slowly and yes I had succeeded!! A LONG brown tail was dangling well below my miniskirt - about 10 inches (longer than my mini actually!) and wow did it look cool! I let a couple of farts out to celebrate and Paul took a great photo. He wants to send it to The Sun pretending it's Liz Hurley! (only my legs are longer, my skirts are shorter and I have a tail!). I kept it swinging for about 20 mins before reluctantly allowing Paul to extricate it from my little bum!
Now I really am a tailwagger!!
hi i got back from camping today. i have a story about christmas day when i woke up i had to go bad and i ran to my door and opened it and my mom covered it up with wrapping paper as a joke. i was trying to break through it when i started going in my pajamas so i ran around my room trying to stop it and when i did i was real wet. my mom heard me tearing the paper and came in and said merry christmas come down and open you presents. she did not see my wet pjs because they are white with red and blue balloons on them wet does not show up that well. so i went downstairs and sat down and started getting presents. there was alot of cool stuff i got. i had to pee again when we were done and i was sitting down on the rug and since i already was wet i just went anyway and it soaked my but real good. my mom wanted me to try these pants on and when i did they started to get wet and my mom thought i was going in them and she spanked me real hard. i told her i ws already wet and i was n! ot going now and she was madder cause i didnt tell her i was wet before. but she said she was sorry and i had a good christmas.
at camp i only had one accident and i am real proud cause i always have accidens at camp. it was after we got there and were putting tents up. i had to hold one end up real high while they were putting the rest together and i had to use both hands and i had to pee real bad and sinsce i couldnt hold it i had to let it out. i crossed my legs and it just came gushing out. no one saw it and when they got the thing togethrer i could let go and i looked down at my front and it was soaked wet, i had on blue jeans and it showed up bad. i just left them on and did the rest of the day, nobody said anything and i was surprised. my pants dried up in an hour and you cant even tell, uless you look at my underwear cause they were yellow. well see you all later. bye
What is your personal record concerning shitting (turds)??
I live in Central Europe where the toilets are different and you actually can see your products much better than in the USA. Have you ever used such a toilet??
Hi! Iv'e thought about posting for the last month but have been reading posts for three or so and now can't resist. Linda if you are stil around for one so young kers-splunk sounds are very impressive iI made the odd ploomp at your age but thats something else, how long does a poo take you if you don't mind me asking. What strikes me about this site is the camaderie the feelings developed for each other i'm not too emotional ( well sober anyway ) but i think it's great.
Too Kyle cancer kid or whatever your post name was sorry I might not have remembered correctly, hope your cancer goes into remission soon and then goes, my mother died of cancer 27 years ago so it's a subject close to my heart please pull thruogh i'm sure you will good luck.
My first story here happend between christmas and new year I had just been to the pub ( not strange for me as i like a drink) and me and my mate ( friend to the non British) decided to have a curry so we went to a resturant. On the way home (I walked about 2 miles, well staggered) i parted from my friend and about 120 yards from home when a desperate need to shit came from no where i had to stop 3 times to clench my arse i was drunk talking to my self outloud god i need a shit. I knew I could'nt make home ( as close as i was ) so i ducked down an ally unbelted and zipped my trousers and pulled to just below my arse, there was a road not to far away and even though it was night time i did'nt want to be there too long so i did'nt squat all the way just stuck my arse out when I felt a very long turd coming out followed by another not as long but long enough I did'nt see them as it was pitch black but when i got home I had shit on my caterpillar trainer bottoms it took half an hour to clean them and was gross especially as I was pissed ( drunk ) at the time. To this day I don't know if it was mine or a dogs .
I've plenty of stories especially travelling Africa and Asia to do with close calls and acidents which i'll post if you all want me too.
Jill what line do you travell on roughly as i've never seen a deposited load on the track but would like to.
I'm a 31 year old male by the way.Happy new year to you All. London Lad.
Mark - that should be a lesson to you where NOT to stick your "weidle" (never heard it called that before!) Really FUNNY story though.
Anon. poster asking why is it that guys always have conversations when they use the toilet but girls just sit there and hope that no one can hear them do their business.
I'm not sure that most guys (with the probable exception of a lot of us here!) have long conversations if they're sitting in a stall pooping. The talking goes on if you're at a urinal and the reason is, I think, that if you're standing there peeing up a wall in the company of maybe 10 or 20 other men, with all your equipment on view to the world, there's no way you can pretend you're NOT there as you can in a stall! And as the golden rule is to never look at another guys equipment, talking about anything - sport, the weather, the state of the world, gives you something else to think about and concentrate the mind. Anyway, that's my theory - the conversation is all part of a defense mechanism for semi-public peeing. Or not ....
Had an interesting toilet experience whilst out shopping this W/E. I was in quite an old-fashioned department store in a smallish city not too far from where I live. I always tend to use their bathrooms when I'm there both because they are always clean and because the mens room is a real 'period piece' from the 1930s with marble tiles, brass fittings and a real traditional deep toilet .... there's always a lot of splash back (would suit PPG!) This mens room is off a hallway on the second floor and you go first into a room with two sinks and then beyond that there's just a single room with a toilet and an old-fashioned floor-length urinal next to one another, no partitions or anything. The door to the outer room does lock - and I have locked it in the past when I needed to poop- but most guys who just need to pee don't bother and double-up, as you do, one at the urinal and one peeing in the toilet.
Anyway, I'd been shopping for a couple of hours in various stores and as I hadn't been for a shit that morning I could feel my load beginning to work its way down and figured I'd better head up to my usual mens room. Actually, by the time I get out of the elevator I'm getting pretty desperate and rush along the hall and grab the door, just as another guy coming the other way does the same. My first thought is 'Maybe he's just washing his hands' but no, he and I both go to open the inner door at the same time. He obviously knows the drill and just wants a pee because he turns to me and says 'OK by me' as he goes in. So I figure I'll go ahead and have a pee to relieve the pressure and once he's done, I can hang back, lock the door and take care of my serious business! He takes the toilet and is very soon peeing into the water like a fire hose. I take the urinal and try to take as long as possible, partly so I'm still there when he's finished and also so I can actually keep control of my bowels and don't end up with a load in my underwear!
So I'm still spraying away when suddenly, I hear a 'Uuugh' from next to me and realize that I'm not the only one with a load on his mind, as my 'companion' suddenly drops his pants and boxers, turns round and plants his ass down on the seat. He can hardly say 'I'm real sorry pal' before he lets rip with a long, thundering fart that reverberates round the bowl and then he explodes with shit. And does this guy have diarrhoea!! It all sounds to be really loose stuff splattering down into the water and the smell is ... yuk, indescribable .... if I had a delicate stomach I'd have been throwing up into the urinal I can tell you. Now I've 'buddy dumped' in the past with close friends of both sexes but never with a stranger - hell, I've never even used a bathroom with doorless stalls so this is quite a new experience for me and I just stand there, with my jaw dropped, finishing my pee. My 'neighbor' is still apologising profusely, interspersed with grunts and sighs of relief as waves of shit overtake him. The last few dribbles come out of my dick and I shake it off and put it away just as someone else opens the door from the outer room (unlocked remember) takes one step forwards, gags on the smell and retreats to the sinks retching!!
But now I have a REALLY big problem. The pee has released all the pressure on my bowels and I have to poop NOW. What do I do? There's no way I can make it to another mens room. The urinal?? The sinks!! I am clutching my stomach and groaning and my pooping neighbor, who finally seems to have finished - for the moment - realizes my predicament, takes a fistful of paper, stands up, wipes hurriedly and flushes (luckily this old toilet has one powerful flush and it all disappears.) Anyway, he stands to one side, his pants and boxers still round his knees and I am faced with a choice of either shitting in my pants or shitting in front of this stranger. I choose the latter, drop my trousers and briefs as fast as I can, sit on the still warm (but thankfully clean!) seat and let rip with two or three little farts before my load comes out. It's not diarrhoea but a really long and quite soft and sticky turd which curls down into the water before finally breaking off. I eat a healthy semi-vegetarian, low-dairy diet with LOTS of rice, pulses, and greens, so I tend to do soft and real smelly poops and this one is no different. It must stink but after what he's just done, pooper #1 can have no complaint!
I let out another long one and then several more shorter lumps one after another without having to push at all and then finally some looser squiggles. What a relief it was! I had such a smile on my face. But it's about now that I remember the unlocked door and wonder how we're going to explain this situation to store security .... two grown men in there together, one with his pants around his ankles and the other one grinning like an idiot! However, Don, as he now introduces himself (having been though all this together it is nice to know the guys name!) has obviously thought the same and moved across to lock the door. Now I'm panicking for another reason entirely and hope that a shit is the only thing on his mind as it was on mine, but I needn't have worried as we get chatting and discover we're just two *regular* guys in an extraordinary and potentially really embarrassing situation. We end up laughing about it!
Anyway, I'm done, take some paper and wipe from the front sitting down as I always do. I pull up my pants and just then Don's face tells me that round two of his diarrhoea is almost upon him so I'm out of there as fast as I can and he locks the door behind me. He flushes my load away but I'm still standing at the sink washing my hands when the tank finishes refilling and I can hear him still exploding with lose stuff.
It was one interesting introduction to buddy dumping with a stranger I can tell you!
Yeah Lancs lad – pissing yourself laughing is not just a ‘saying’! It happens maybe not that often but it really does. I was in class once with a goony teacher and we were all laughing our heads off. I was hysterical then suddenly I spurted in my pants! I tried to stop laughing and grabbed myself then I was off again laughing and I spurted again! I was in a panic and thought – I’ve got to stop laughing – but I couldn’t in spite of holding myself I giggled like mad and spurted like mad! I was getting wet and I was scared it would somehow drip on the floor but it didn’t! It didn’t show on my black pants but I was really scared some one would find out – but I got away with it.
Hi boys and especially girls!
LOUISE: thanks for your nice reply! Yes, I read your recent posts and, of course, as always very much liked them. Especially your fun by the pool, filling up the bucket was cool! I could just very well imagine the sound of the pee drumming against the bucket... I assume it was plastic. I did that a few weeks ago. I was a bit annoyed cause I had to clean the flat by myself. After I finished mopping the floor I decided to get rid of a bit of stress and peed into the bucket with the dirty water, which was good fun. There was still foam from the cleaning fluid and I drew a little heart in the foam with my stream. LOL. I guess it could count as a good pre-exercise for peeing my name in the snow, CARMELITA?
I tried hard and practised with my ‘tool-free’ pees in the shower, but unfortunately I can’t say it is really improving. I now and then get a halfway satisfying stream but there is mostly lots of spraying and some stuff going down my leg. Very frustrating! I just can’t put my finger on it, where the problem is...I am far from trying it anywhere outside of the shower. Maybe I just have to stick with the device, after all some people have to wear glasses all their lives, don’t they? LOL . I’ll keep practising...
There is just one thing I did not get, if you do not mind me asking: Why did you squat to pee in the alley and freeze your probably cute bum off, when you can do it standing up with less exposure? This is one of the things I love about my new freedom that I can just happily stream away nearly anywhere without a cold bum and a vunerable position. Would it not have been more fun to water the wall with your men? Just wondering; as I said, I hope you don’t mind me asking. Stay well and, please keep entertaining us with your lovely stories. Best wishes to you and your darling. Love from InaXXX
CARMELITA: Hey, thanks for your nice words. I felt like one of the most popular girls in class send me a little note...Hope you don’t get that little joke wrong, I just had the feeling that you are very popular on this site and with all your exciting stories it is no suprise! I always find your stuff very cool. Interesting household you lovely people have there. It sounds very nice and I believe you are a great lady. I hope you don’t mind but I let myself be inspired by your little poem and wrote one as well, inspired by the really cool shit you and Nu had in the woods:
One fine morning I was walking by the trees
When a young snake was asking for release
It seemed to be quite big and solid in form
It ask for it’s freedom in the place to be born
"Please lay me out here and not in the loo
for wild animals don’t belong in the zoo"
I considered the beg and slowed down my pace
Following the call in search of a space
Behind some close bushes I squatted just above the floor
And unlocked the cage and pushed open the door
The snake started crawling out into the light
It wanted to thank me for being so right
"I so much appreciate freedom’s great treasure
in return I wanna give you a moment’s true pleasure"
It kept it’s promise, no pain and no bite
Just a wonderful feeling of empty and light
It bent to the side and danced slowly around
Then freed itself and jumped to the ground
It looked rather cold at this early hour
So I gave it a warm and refreshing shower
It said:"I am a bit exhausted and wanna take a nap
Before I crawl off into mother nature’s lap"
So it lay there curled up and rested a bit
Before it would start an adventurous trip
I said goodbye and left it behind
The snake again thanked me for being so kind
"Please do come back, if now you can’t stay
and give me some brother’s and sister’s to play"
Keep your nice adventures up. With the very best wishes to all of you.
ANNIE AND ROBBIE: Thank you so much, you said you liked my stories. Your whole family seems to be consisting of very nice and caring people. Of course, I especially like the adventures of all the girls having standing up pees. Must have been a really cool sight, all of you girls streaming against the wall. Wow! Hope you are all well. Love XXX to you all from Ina
Stay well and have fun, all of you
Meghan and Sarah S
This will be our last post until Thursday. We are giving a recital on Wednesday so we are practicing like 2 banshees. Hope everyone is "recovering" from the holidays.
MERE AND MANDY: Hi gals! MERE, that poop that you finally took must have felt good. Hope the rest will drop easily. Meg- I took a huge dump this morning and Sari just stood there and made faces. I let out huge farts. Sari- she stunk up the joint,LOL! MERE, is this a short term you are doing or is this the last of the semester for you? MANDY, are you still in highschool or in college? We share an apartment and it gets pretty rowdy especially in the mornings when we vie for the bathroom. We enjoy you both being here. Good luck with school and your pees and dumps. Meghan and Sarah S
TIM: We are both going red from your sweet words. We are glad you are ok and back with the forum. Hope your daughter is the same. Take care, Love, Sarah S and Meghan
LOUISE: Hi there! Sari- The weeing contest was poetry in motion,LOL! Annie has a large loo and tub in the back of her home in Manchester. Liz, Ellie, Meghan and I weed one at a time in the tub. Annie timed us and judged our pee arc. Liz, that damn prude, actually put on her thong to wee. PLUUUEEEEESSS!!! Ellie just stood there and let fly! The winner was.........ME, ME, ME, ME!!!!! Meg was so put out, hehehe!
We really enjoyed the story about you and your friend peeing outside.
It is ok if guys laugh as long as they wee, too,!! Right?!!
You said that Steve's willy was on the large size. Well, we haven't found that in a man yet, LOL! Give Steve our love, too! Sarah S and Meghan
PV: Hi gal! Glad everything is ok in Aussieland. We were thinking about you when the fires were spreading. Meghan- Please read the above post to Louise. Sari won the weeing contest, lucky cow!! I thought about weeing in her face. Oh well, there is always next time. Hope you are weeing on the beach! Take carexxx Meghan and Sarah S
CARMALITA: Hi honey!! You made us so embarrassed! We are crazy about you and your gang, too!! What a descriptive poop. We wish we could write like that. Oh yes, tell NU welcome for us, please. You are starting to school. You will join the students on here. We will be glad to have you. You treat us, our Dad and Annie so sweetly! Lots of Love, Meghan and Sarah S
DIVA: Great series of pee stories!!! We probably will have one for you after our recital on Wednesday. It is hard when you have an real active bladder. Take care, Sarah S and Meghan
DEAR KENDAL and ANDREW: Hi cousins! God, we miss you. We know we are just cyber kin but we feel we know you somehow. KENDAL, we know you have a birthday on Saturday. We will have something special in here on our next post. We had a weeing contest in Manchester over the hols. Please read the post above under LOUISE!! We wish you could have been there. ANDREW: You would have swooned watching our weeing contest. 4 nice looking gals weeing up a storm!! Well, after all, you ARE nearly 17!!! We don't want to make you red,though! We are doing a recital and are practicing like mad! When are you going back for your next term? We have to start the 14th of the month. We have had huge, cullompted poos this holiday season. Please read some of our past posts. Take care and PLEASE write when you can. Lots of Lovexxxx and a mega hug to both of you. Cousins Sarah S(Sari) and Meghan(Meg)
DEAR RIZZO: Hi, dear friend! We miss you,too! Our poos have been of the cullompted kind this season. We ate toooooooo much! Our recital is Wednesday. We will think of you when we play the Bach Air. Also, when we wee and poo afterward we will imagine you there cheering us on. Hope you and your wife are ok. Lots of Lovexxxx Meghan(Meg) and Sarah S(Sari)
JANE: We go back to school on Saturday, Ugh! It does seem that little boys always are there when you take a dump. It is funny in a way. We would tell them to ship off!! Give our best to Gary. Love, Sarah S and Meghan
LINDAGS: Write when you get a chance. Have you started back to school, yet? Take care, Meghan and Sarah S.
LOUIS: Our cousin Annie, who is on this forum, lives in Manchester. We just spent part of the holidays with her and her brood. We got to go to the Manchester United match on the 22nd. We also had a weeing contest. Read more on the reply above titled LOUISE. Meghan and Sarah S
WRITE WHEN YOU CAN: Ellie and Little Lou, Adele, Ephermal, Amy(co-ed)!
SPECIAL HELLOS: Rjogger and Kathy- loved those stories, LOL!!, Todd and Diana- I(Meg) read playgirl on the toilet!!, Marianne, Jeff A, Ina, Mindy, Mandy(other one), Althea, Buzzy, Upstate Dave, Aaron, Adrian, Lancs Lad, Tailwagger(good for you!), Erin, David and Niki, Alana, DianeNY, Gopweller, Sarah T, Jasta and Mark, Melanie, Ring Stretcher, Gina, Ina, JohnVT, Sarsen, Amazon, Mersey Kid, Kelly-Marie, Alexa, Ashley, Julie, Stargazer, Gurli, Tricia, Pat, Renee, Jake, Tina, Elena.
We know we didn't get all of the posters but those not named are included, too!
HAPPY POOS AND WEES!!
SARAH S AND MEGHAN
LOUISE: Just a quick note. I need to clear something up. Ellie was the overall champion of the weeing contest. Sari was the champion for the strongest stream. Ellie won the most artful arch. Meg, well she didn't win anything,LOL! I hope that clears the air. The girls and I had a little discussion about it! After all it was all in fun. Those girls are so damn competitive! As for Steve's willie; you must be one happy girl! Love, Annie(Robby sends his in absentia)
DEAR KENDAL AND LAWN DOGS KID(ANDREW): This short story is from the past. When we were in our mid-teens we were hiking on this trail in Colorado. We were visiting the states. We had the usual trail food of frank and beans. I suddenly had the most frightful urge to poop. I yelled to Robby to stop. I bolted behind a tree and squatted. Immediately a long snake of a log started to plunge out of my bum. I kept grunting and it seemed to not want to exit. Robby came over and held my head down so the pressure would be great enough to get that monster out. It hurt coming out. It had to be the longest piece I had ever pushed out as of that time. Some soft poo ran out and I weed a bucket full. Robby gave me some tissue and I wiped. We turned around and two guys had been watching all of this. They laughed and made rude comments. Well, I told Robby, who was ready to take them on, I would handle this. I gave them two fingers and told them to bugger off. They gave us wierd looks. Robby laughed and said they didn't know what I had just done. Hope you are ok. Uncle Robby is with Meg and Sari at the church listening to their rehearsal. He sends his love. Take care! Lovexxxxxxx and a BIG, BIG hug for the both of you!! Aunty Annie and Uncle Robby
TO ALL OF OUR OTHER DEAR FRIENDS HERE, TAKE CARE AND
ANNIE AND ROBBY
I've seen this site a few times now so thought I'd say hello. I've just filled in the survey.
Shitting outdoors has been a great pleasure for me but in recent years I have become really worried that I'll be caught in the act. I imagine everybody finding out and ruining my career.
A few weeks ago I was out on a drinking spree in the afternoon and desperately needed a shit at a time when I was between pubs. I have a bowel problem which sometimes means that I can't hold on very long. But also, having had a few beers, I decided I'd like the pleasure of doing it outside.
I came to an alley between some shops and went up there, I didn't know what I'd find. There was some waste ground which was overlooked, but I figured anyone who could see would have gone home so I got right down low, almost lying on the ground, pulled my trousers to my ankles and ejected a slimy pile of steaming poo, loose, curly and yellowish in colour, and quite strong smelling too. This was followed by a more solid log, which was also a darker brown in colour. I wiped myself with tissue (I usually try and carry tissue because public toilets often have no paper in them). Then I stood up, pulled up my trousers and walked away.
The thing is, next day, when I was sober, I was really anxious that I'd been seen or even worse, caught on film. I drove around looking to see if there were any CCTV cameras. I was terrified for the next week or two that a picture would appear in the newspaper asking for information as to who the person was defecating behind the shops.
(A girlfriend of mine once WAS caught on camera, at least, there was a camera pointing at her all the while she did it).
I wish I could lose this anxiety, then I'd get into action a bit more often.
Well it's nice to feel that I've made contact with a community of people who share this peculiar interest. Thanks. - Geoff
UPSTATE DAVE - Hi guy, yeah we did have a good time on holiday
and there is a bit more to tell but I need a lot more time to
write all about it. Hey I liked the story of you and your wife
by the beach. It is like a lot of things I have done when I
have been with Steve on a beach, pulling my bikini down and
weeing and stuff.
LOUIS - Hi guy! Yeah we had a good time in Scotland but we
were just there for just over 2 days because we knew a lot more
snow was coming and we did not want to get stuck! So we came
back home about 2 days before we should really but there was
some snow then even.
LOL no I do not know what is under kilts. I bet there is not
just one answer. I mean I am not Scottish and Steve isn't
either, you know, but my friend did not know the answer!
Hehehe I am just thinking how it must be for Scotsmen weeing
with kilts held up in front.
Well yeah I think it gets harder for a lot of boys after
puberty to wee without pulling their foreskins back a bit
because their willies grow bigger. It may be that they change
shape a bit too. I mean that is what Steve said happened to
him. His willy grew a lot and it is bigger than average, and
it may be his foreskin did not grow the same as what it covers.
If his foreskin is not back when he wees, he sprays a bit and
his stream goes over to the right because his foreskin is that
shape. 3 years ago when we were in Spain we met this family
and this 14 year old boy went by the sea with me and we stood
together having a wee. You know he was another one who pulled
back his foreskin to have a wee. I watched him pull it back
a bit but I did not say anything to him about it but it was
interesting to see him do it.
Yeah, you are so right about all the mechanics of weeing. It
is really so complicated. I never even saw a dick before I met
Steve and I had lots to learn. I did not know about the little
slit on the end and all that! I was a really naive virgin,
and I just thought men pointed their dicks and wee just
pissed out of the end like it was out of a funnel spout LOL.
I learned it was not like that when I saw Steve wee and
I was amazed when he weed in the bath and did not pull back
his foreskin and it went to the right.
I still do not know if all uncircumcised men need to pull
back, it is just a thing I believe because it is what I have
I bet you do not get any dribbles because you are just so used
LOL I know Steve does not like the words "cut" and "uncut"
near the word "foreskin" LOL.
Oh I know. Those bush fires are the worst ever!
Love Louise xxxxx
KIM AND SCOTT - Wow girl that was a big accident you had when
your log came out in your knickers. I do not think I ever
quite did that.
LOL Yeah we could do a weeing and log show. You could do one
of your huge logs and I could try to flush it down by weeing
on top of it. I bet I would make a better job of doing that
than a lot of toilets would when they are flushed. I bet you
read about when I had a shit in that nightclub and I could
not get my log to go away even when I stuffed the brush down
to push it. The water was enough to flush away my wee but it
could not make my log go. Please say hello to Scott for me.
Love Louise xx
CARMALITA - Hi girl! Yeah the horse stance is how to write
your name in the snow but you have to hop about a bit when
doing each letter. It is easier for a man though!
Yeah I like watching guys pee too. I do study it really. Hey
did you read about when I was walking with Steve and I held
his dick for him while he weed into some long grass? The
weather was real cold and there was a lot of steam rising
up from where his wee landed. I had pulled his foreskin back
just how he does it and he did a really strong thin stream
you know? I bet you would have liked seeing him.
I can feel Steve's wee pulsing through him and I think it is
fun when he is nearly finished and he does some last little
squirts. He just shoots them out and you know I bet it is
how his legs and bum are conditioned that makes him do that.
Yeah it is fun holding them while they do it. Steve's stream
is not pencil thick. Well Steve is well equipped but I bet Jake
is a bit bigger.
JEFF A - Hi guy! Well thank you very much for saying such nice
things to me! Steve says if you like bums you would like mine.
I have skin that is naturally golden for a blonde girl. I do
look like I have a bit of a tan all the time so I hope it
helps you think of me.
I am happy you liked my last story. I do not shit in nightclub
toilets a lot, I usually just have a wee, but the log just
came so suddenly and I felt it was a big one. If you liked that
story I can tell you others when I go to club toilets again.
Yeah I bet you will like that.
Hey maybe you will like when I went to the toilet this morning.
I did not have a shit today, but I just felt for it first.
Do you know what I mean when you know it will come but the
log is not trying to open your bumhole yet? Well I did not feel
anything coming so I knew I would just have a wee.
I did not have any clothes on at all. Well I asked the guys in
my audience if they want to be behind me or in front of me
when I have my wee and some said behind and some said in front.
Well I had 3 mirrors so I could see as well when I hovered
over the bowl. My guys in front saw my short narrow sandy
stripe and my pussy lips. At the back the guys saw my bumhole
winking at them and in front of there they saw my pussy lips
as well. I keep my bumhole and the bottom end of my pussy
shaven. Well here it comes guys! I had a good wee in a nice
gusher stream and I saw it from the front and the back. It
was what Steve says is a yellow twisty sheet of liquid. My
pussy hissed a lot and my guys in my virtual audience were
quiet so they could hear it. Well I giggled because I got all
your attention so easily! I lasted a bit but my wee did
finish and I went drip drip drip drip for a bit as well. I
flushed the toilet and I did not wipe because I got straight
in the shower and I did not care that I had a little bit of
wee running down my legs before the water washed it off. I
did not need to wipe because I just rinsed with the water.
Well no shit at all today Jeff but I hope you liked my story.
Love Louise xxxxx
ANNIE ANd ROBBY - Hi!!! No my friend's bum did not get stuck
on the ice. LOL she sort of slid it off! Hehehe but it made
her scream it was so cold. LOL
Hey do you know what I have decided? When I go out with my
friends before I marry Steve, we are all going to have a wee
squatting in a row like you did. I have not done it in a row
outside more than 4 of us.LOL That will be so exciting if we
all do it in an alley like that.
LOL We half filled the bucket I think!
Hey I bet the peeing contest was fun. I hope Liz and Ellie
were not too embarrassed!