jim
this last summer i went to camp from cub scouts. the first day before we left they gave us these really long tshirts and when i put it on it went all the way to my knees. it covered up my shorts. i was wearing blue jean shorts. we got in the van and i forgot to go to the bathroom. and as you guess i went in my pants in the seat. my shirt covered it up so no one knew about it except my best friend who sat next to me becasue he went to. but they found out about his because he didnt wear that tshirt and everyone saw and they made him change. we got to our cabins and we had to line up for a picture and the front of my shirt was a little wet from my pee and someone asked if i peed and i said no.
we had to go on a hike a little later and i had to go again. i was holding my front when no one was looking and it got a little wetter becasue i started going again. the shirt was bright yellow and you can see when it is wet. no said anything this time becasue another kid in my group peed his pants in front of everyone and they made a bid deal.
well since i was already soaked i decided to just go when i felt i had to. it was dinner time and i sat down. the shirt was tucked under my but this time and i forgott. i had to go again so i just peed. i got my shirt all wet in the back and there is not water around so it looks suspicous. then we had to play in a race after dinner. they tied our legs together to do a two legged race. when the leader tied our legs he saw i was soaked and smelled pee and told me to go change. so i could not play. i went back and changed into some light blue sweats and white tshirt. the shirt barely went down to my waist. and i went back. i sat and wached the whole night. i drank alot at dinner and had to pee again. this time i could not get to the bathrooms even when i wanted to. i had to sit up on some high bleachers in the cabin and tons of other kids were blocked me. i had to go so bad. i had both hands holding it and i stood up to try to get down and it made me have to go more and i c! ould not hold it. i climbed down peing all over my pant and other kids. the front of my pants rubbed against the cheek of one kid and he said gross. everyone saw and the leader saw and stoped me and made me stand in front of everyone. i hated it.
i will tell more stories about camp later.
PV
DIANE NY -- Hi dear. I must say that the enema you received should NOT have been painfully hot -- that was Alex and Tina's fault. Barely above body temperature should be fine -- a little glycerine or oil, perhaps castile soap, etc., and it should gurgle down fine. A first-time enema is always uncomfortable, but you get used to them -- and as you see, they clean you out to an incredible degree.
My honest opinion is that no one, no matter how their bodies have been trained, should go for unnecessarily extended periods before eliminating waste. Ie., if the means and opportunity to relieve yourself are available, go when you need to -- not when an iron will says you may do so. I find it nonsensical to train the body in such a way. Breaking boards with your focused willforce is one thing, controling your body's reactions with biofeedback also has its uses, but instituting a severe regimen of days between even urinations -- despite the convenience of simply not having to go when situations don't provide for it -- will ultimately be harmful, chemically, physiologically, you name it... In this Alex and Tina really are correct. You'll be healthier as well without carting around untold pounds of poo in your rectum. Waste is inimical to the body by definition, retaining it can subtly return toxic molecules to the metabolism, which need to be re-eliminated, thus unnecessa! rily working the biochemistry... And taking a mighty piss is a pleasure many enjoy enormously many times a day -- why cost yourself the fun???
BTW -- I love superchargers too -- yup, my dad was a mechanic!
RIZZO -- I'm so profoundly glad your wife's biopsy came back benign!
JEFF A -- Thanks for the sweet words of compliment, guy -- I appreciate them very, very much!
Here's a little sighting I forgot to mention last time. When I was in town ast week I was walking up through the city's premiere outdoor dining area -- "cafe culture" they call it -- and spotted something incongruous. I came around a corner and here was this stoutish woman standing casually, smoking, as her child, maybe 18 months old, was actually squatting on the sidewalk! Nothing to see, no mess -- but I'm sure that child was filling her diaper...
PV
BRYIAN--wow, that was a big log for you to shit! Did you make lots of grunting noises to pass it? LOL! now you get an idea of what it's like for us big log ladies on this board. I would have liked to have seen your face when it was coming out!
KIM--cool story! What a whopper! Did you have trouble flushing?
SUN DEVIL--where are you?
DESPERATE DAN--no, I don't think there should be any holes on walls dividing stalls. Most people want their privacy.
RJOGGER--I'm very sorry about the drunk driver causing the accident. In El Salvador they get shot by a firing squad. Too bad in this country they are so lenient, especially on repeat offenders. It's sick!
Rizzo
Hi folks of The Toilet!
First of all I want to thank all those who wished me well in finding a new job. I seem to be in luck. Not necessarily for a new job, but for a constant income! The job to find will come on top of that, if all goes well!
GOPWOLLER, I sincerely hope that the source of bleeding in your intestine or colon is easily treatable. My thoughts are with you!
MIKE R., if you have to pee a lot every hour, and you are probably thirsty all the time, you should check your urine. You are suffering from diabetes. If it is the “insipidus” kind, meaning “tasteless”, then it could be a nervous condition. If it is the “mellitus” (sp?) kind, meaning “sweet”, then your kidneys are excreting glucose. There are paper test strips available to dip into your urine. They change colour. Or you could even taste it youself first. No, I don’t mean that you should swallow a mouthful
of the stuff! Just a drop on the tip of your tongue should be enough. Sometimes another give-away is a pee stain on dark clothes leaving a white rim (sugar) after drying. If your urine is sweet you need treatment urgently. In any case you should see a doctor, please. Take care, Rizzo
FUTURE ROCK STAR, as a university student I lived on the top floor of an old three storied house. The plumbing systems for the bathrooms were all verically above each other, with a ventilation pipe continuing visibly from the top bathroom towards the roof. Once I helped the lady living below to solve some electrical problem. She made a pot of tea and we talked for quite a while. Soon I needed to go for a wee, and because I still had work to do, I excused myself to go upstairs to my accomodations, where I ducked into “my” toilet (I shared it with three other students). I then decided that I might as well sit down, because of a full feeling at the back. So I did, and let go of torrents of pee followed by quite a sausage of poop. Aaaah! I leaned comfortably against the ventilation pipe, and discovered that I could hear things going on down below! I just caught the slam of the toilet door of my pretty lady neighbour, then nothing, then a noisy tinkle that went on for a long ! time (all that tea :-), then nothing again, then the rush of flushing water and finally the door opening and closing! It was cool! Every time I had a cup of tea there, I would return to the bathroom afterwards to be rewarded with the sounds of her peeing more often than not!
Cheers!
JENNIFER, that must be some unique video! Just imagine how difficult it would be to have your log hit the lens on purpose! Perfect aim, is what I say, although it must have been a tid-bit to clean the lens afterwards! Keep posting!
Dear JANE, that was a great poop of yours in the airplane toilet! Of Alana-quantity and Kim-proportions too! Wow!! Did the pilot have to correct the trimm of the aircraft after you left the toilet? Just joking! Trimming is automatic, he he! Take care!
DIVA, dear, I felt sorry for you in your riveting story of desperation when on tour through Europe. Sadly I missed your performance on stage, because I love Mozart operas. So you discovered that you could relieve yourself standing! You know that from my point of view you are now eligible for the Womens’ Standing to Pee Club!! (Chuckle). You are a natural talent! Being able to pee standing should help you when confronted with a dirty Mediterranean type of squat bathroom or with any dirty toilet bowl. Just stand back and let rip towards the hole in the floor! Go on, don’t be embarrassed, practice in the shower! Read PV’s and Louise’s posts about how to aim your stream.
I keep plastic doggie-poop bags in my car for emergencies en route as you described. Read my post about my wife peeing into one when we spent the night in a tent far from the toilets. It must have been in September this year. Or go and find the Woman’s Guide on How to Pee Standing where you will find all kinds of useful hints. You will find a device on the market, that is not a funnel and tube type, is small, not bigger than a tampon with applicator, and could even enable you to pee into a bottle with a small opening when seated in a bus and without getting yourself wet! You might want to have one of your colleague singers seated next to you and hold up a jacket for privacy. As the Girl Guide motto says: “Be Prepared”. I wish you success and hope to hear you sing one day, love from Rizzo.
LOUISE, dear, I certainly do not intend to sell my boat, my floating weekend home. But my boat stories are mostly from the past, and not necessarily from this boat, although I have had her for over twenty years now. Yes, my boat is definitely a “she”. Many times yet do I hope to pee into the sea from her deck when safely anchored, and I hope that the toilet pump will rarely fail. It does do that from time to time, always when full of shit, which results in a grand mess!
I always enjoy your daring wees on beaches and in alleys, love to you from Rizzo!
LAWN DOGS KID, hello Andrew, so according to Kendal you two are living in near perfect harmony and under the same roof, with wees on knees (when your parents are absent). You see, I found it necessary to back you up, because I consider you a dear friend and because I suspected some tension between you two. I did take sides, if only just for this one occasion.
On Sunday I took my wife’s bike (a GT Outpost, made in the US) for a ride along a bike trail by the sea side. Just looking down at the bike frame made my thoughts turn to Kendal, because the bike is about as blue as a Honda Super Blackbird! Along the trail I came to a place where bikers stop for a rest. I had to weave my way through extensive and fresh pee puddles to avoid getting sprayed, because the bike does not have any mud guards! A whole group of women and two men must have just peed minutes before my arrival. How do I know? Just by the “lay-out” of the puddles. The two at the edge of the rest space at the bottom of a low wall looked like mens’ puddles. The ones a foot or so away from the wall, some with tp, were probably womens’ puddles. Unless someone like Louise or PV had been part of the group!
Keep up a continuous effort for those A-Levels lurking in the not so distant future, love to you from Rizzo! And give dear Kendal a good hug in my name, please!
SARAH S. and MEGHAN, so you are into the wee-on-knees thing too! Being grown girls, sitting on each others knees on the toilet must be a bit cramped to be able to get the pee streams in the right place and not make a mess! But it seems to be great fun and lets you two become really close! I forgot, was it the cello player of you who sat first with the piano player on her knees, or was it the other way round? I say this because the cello player is used to having something big between her knees ;-)
Then I read that Kendal is wishing you, Sarah, a happy birthday! I’ll join in! Is it your 25th or 26th birthday?
Take care of your dad, love to you both from Rizzo!
CARMALITA, dear, your story with Angie and Nu on the toilet is another jewel for the Carmalita Collection! Your are surpassing yourself! One day you will realize what a talent you have! Love to all of you over there from Rizzo.
RJOGGER and KATHY, you and your friends all pooping in front of each other and cross-wiping make great stories! Wow! Your diet is also something that those should read who wish to produce larger poops and stay healthy at the same time! Keep going!! Love to you both from Rizzo on the other side of the pond! You are just a longish sail away!
And to all I have not mentioned, but whose posts I certainly enjoyed, I wish a really good one! Rizzo
steve
Bobby and Matt- Where are you guys?
I was playing games on my computer and my friends Jamie, Matt and Randy were helping me. I wanted to go to the toilet real bad but he said I had to finish my turn on the game first. I got part of it done and then I really had to pee. I was moving my legs up and down and in and out on the chair but it did not help any more and the pee started to come out into my white briefs. I could not stop it and I wet my pants and the seat. It went all warm and felt real good. That was when the poop started to poke out but it stopped so I thought I was okay When I had finished the game I got up quick went toilet but I tripped over the carpet and the poo was poking out. By the time I got up I had done it in my briefs. When I got up Jamie saw my shorts bulging out and said that I pooped myself. I went red and was so ashamed but everybody laughed and it was okay. My friend’s dad gave me baby wipes to clean up and dried my shorts on the radiator. My friend gave me a pair of briefs to wear! then I went home. I did not tell or I might have been smacked.
kakadu
hmm cute Dave enjoyed your posting, but have you ever actually watched your friend or any other school mates on the toilet?
secodly have any guys been in the next stall to a celebrity? would like to be in the next stall to Johnathon Taylor-Thomas or Leo DiCaprio, anyone can share?RJOGGER and Kathy
Hello, everyone, Rick and I got back from our Thanksgiving Holiday on Sunday, and I have a story about Friday, yes the Day After! We have been reading the many wonderful stories that appeared over the last few days, so we would like to say some hellos first.
Mina - The first time that I tried the "tub" dump, I got poop all over my ass cheeks and down the side of the tub. It was a mess that I did not want to have to clean up again. The other times that I dumped over the tub, I squatted on the edge, balanced myself with one hand on the shower door and the other on the wall, and cleared the tub, by sticking my ass out somewhat. This provided more clearance, and there was also much less to clean off of my butt. Maybe you should try it like that. By the way, Rick and I really enjoyed the story of your dump in the desert. It certainly did sound like a liberating experience, and one that is probably worth doing every now and then. Please keep on posting these great stories, they are very interesting. Kathy
Annie and Robby - Thanks for your concern, and thanks for the comments on the buddy dump. It seems like Robby is recovering from his heart attack, as his "bedpan" experience shows that he is in good spirits. That was a real funny story, and very entertaining. You folks take good care. Robby, be well, and welcome back. Rich and Kathy
Jane - Wow, the poop on a plane story was terrific! We just wonder, what have you been eating that causes the massive bowel movements that you are producing?
Carmalita - Oh boy, was that a story or what? Three of you beautiful girls crapping and stinking out the head sounds like fun. I must admit, you do write some of the best stuff out here, and this one was no exception. It's also nice to see that Jake is tending to your wiping needs. By the way, Kathy and I are OK, we were shaken up by that idiot drunk, and the air bags scrapped us, but thanks so much for your concern.
As for a couple of Friday's ago: yes, the six fifty something crazies had quite a poop party. You should have seen the three girls on the camp toilets, letting out bombs while Larry, Mike and I filmed the action and the wiping. Would we like to have you girls join us for something like that? You bet! Until next time, Kathy and I send our love. Be well Carmalita, please say hello to all of the gang for us.
Kim and Scott - It is really great to hear from you two fine youngsters. Kathy and I assumed that life was keeping you busy, but with all of the nonsense going on, when we don't hear from someone that we really care about, we do worry. Thanks for your concern about us, we are doing well, after the accident. And you're 'Stang is well? Good, I wish I could say the same about my Red 'Vette. The accident banged it up pretty good, and the body shop is still waiting for parts. They promised that it would be done sometime this week. So a baseball sized poop emerged from your pretty little bottom after dinner? You will never stop amazing us with those bombs, Kim. Stay well, dear, it is great talking to you again.
Althea - Great camp story about using the "latrine". I see that whether it is a boys or girls camp, the toilet facilities always seem to be a privy with 3 or 4 holes in the wood without stalls. It is quite an experience using one of them.
Jeff A - Hello, Jeff, how are you? We hope that Thanksgiving was great for you and Denise. We very much enjoyed the story of you watching Barbara do her thing, it must have been a real treat for you. Hi Jeff it's Kathy. I'm glad you enjoyed our latest adventure, it would have been nice to have you there. I want to thank you for all of the very lovely things that you have said about me, but I am not surprised. You are a real gentleman, with a big heart. Rick and I think very highly of you, you are like a kid brother to us. Anyway, hear is a big "Mohawk" smile and kiss from me. Take good care.
Diane NY - Hello, Diane, how are you, sweetie? We hope all is well. Kathy and I are doing fine now, we are healing from our accident. You and your girlfriends had quite a poop party in your garage, we only wish that we could have been there so see it. Take care, Diane, we will speak to you soon.
Hellos also to Renee and Patsy, Buzzy, Rizzo and Muggs.
Rick and I and Rick's family celebrated Thanksgiving at his mother's country house in Columbia County NY. We went up last Tuesday, and we were joined by our children and grandchildren, Rick's mom, and his younger brother and sisters and their spouses, children and grandchildren. "The whole freakin clan is going to be thert", Rick remarked as we were drivng up.
Well, the holiday was great we had a real feast, but something unusual happened: my husband, who is so regular that you could set your watch by him, did not crap at all on Thanksgiving. That, for him, is very unusual. After all we ate last Thursday, he still didn't have to go, and when we went to bed that night, I asked him if he was OK. He said yes, that he just felt a little full. The next morning we were up early, and Rick wanted to got for a walk in the woods on his mom's property. We dressed, I grabbed some tissues, and out we went. It was cold, probably around 20 or so, with frost everywhere. We had walked for about 15 minutes when Rick said that he had a real urge to crap. So we walked over to a grove of trees by a stone wall. There was no one around, so Rick lowered his sweats and shorts, and squatted. "Damn, it's cold", my husband remarked. With that he squatted lower, and I watched as his pink asshole started to widen. It stretched real wide, and the tip of a ! very fat turd emerged. It stopped, then this huge torpedo slid out easily, and plopped to the ground. "Boy, that felt good. I feel like I dropped a concrete block", my husband remarked. Rick started peeing very hard, and I looked at the poop on the ground, and my eyes bulged. Normally, my husband does an 18 to 24 inch bomb with a couple 8 or so inchers. This one was close to 3 inches around and had to be almost 2 and ½ feet long. "You passed a monster, honey, I've never seen you do one THAT big", I said. "Will you please wipe my ass, I'm done, besides, my balls are freezing!", Rick said, so I wiped him clean, and he pulled up his pants. "Now it's my turn", I said. "Do it, babe", Rick said.
So I stood nest to his pile, and lowered my sweats and shorts. Yes, it was cold, and my cheeks got goose bumps. I let out a loud fart, Rick and I laughed, then I peed a long stream. I usually crap first, but I hadn't yet peed that morning, so I let out a healthy stream from a squat. Then, I got busy. I farted again, pushed a little and felt a poop start to emerge. "Kathy, this one is a real stinker, Whew, I gotta hold my nose". He is the biggest actor that I know, so I just turned my head around, shot him a stare that was compromised by a grimace, and continued pushing out a large turd. It fell with a thud, then 2 smaller poops fell on top of it. I was done, Rick cleaned my butt, and I raised my pants. There were 2 huge piles of shit on the ground, steaming in the cold air. My load was not quite as large as Rick's, but it was close to 2 feet long and over 2 inches thick. And yes, it did smell, so Rick gathered some leaves and covered the piles. We walked for another hal! f hour, then went back to clean up and cook breakfast.
That's it for now, have a nice week everyone.
Traveling Guy
TEE - You found the word for something I've been trying to express for a long time - WANTING to take a dump. When you were finally alone in the bus, you found out that taking a dump could be pleasurable, vs. just a duty. I didn't really discover that, not consciously, anyway, until I was in my 20s, I think. How about the rest of you? How often do you WANT to take a crap vs. just having to?
DIANE, NEW YORK- I gave myself an enema recently, just for the helluvit. I used warm, soapy water, though, not hot. (Hot water? Yikes!) I emptied it into an old enamel bedpan we have here. I had two watery waves, vs. your three, in big spurts. Then my third wave delivered a pile of mushy poop about as big as two fists put together. That surprised me, because I had taken a good dump just the day before. Even more surprising, I took another really good dump - lots of volume - the day after the enema. Guess I was just totally full of crap that week, huh?
Everybody has different toilet habits. For most of us, a dump once every day or every other day might be the norm. For some, it's twice a day or every 10 days or two weeks. Urinating can vary as much or even more among individuals. Let Alex and Tina do their thing, you do yours, I say.
JEFF A - I'm not here as often as I'd like lately, so I'm just learning of the loss of your daughter. My most heartfelt condolences to you. Glad your staying aboard to share with us.
Louise
JEFF A - Hi guy, I am fine and Steve is too but he is always very tired
because he has so much to do. Every Sunday he tries to get a little bit
of rest for the next week. I hope you are getting better too, I do not
like thinking of you being ill with heart trouble.
I do have a little story that I bet you will like. It was at my netball
match on Saturday and I had not had a shit for two days. Well when I
was playing in the match I bet all the running around was what made me
feel like I needed a really big shit. It was like 5 minutes to the end
and it like really slowed me down. Well we went into the changing room
after the match and we took off our things to go to the showers. I was
dying for a shit and felt I needed a piss as well now and I thought
should I have my shower first or should I go and have a shit first?
Well I went in the showers first but I strongly got the urge to shit
and I just went and waddled out of the showers, and when they asked
what was up I said I was getting the turtle's head squeezing out! All
the other girls just giggled because I said that. One girl told me not
to block the toilet up because she wanted to shit too!
Well I was all wet and my hair was dripping and I was shivering because
I was cold. I went in the stall and I did not shut the door but I just
hovered my bum over the bowl and then I pushed. Well the girl who
wanted a shit as well came and stood outside the stall drying herself
and she talked about the game. Well I felt my bum opening up and I
started squeezing my turd out. It was hard at first but it became easy
and all 7-8 inches squeezed out and splashed into the water loud. I was
not finished because I dropped a load of brown pebbles and then another
big piece shot out and splashed in the water. The other girl was
watching it all happen but I wished it was you or Steve really. I bet
you would have liked to have watched me from behind! I tore off some
paper and wiped myself but my bum was not dirty. The other girl told
the others that I had really needed that shit, and it was her go now.
She went in and while I washed my hands she hovered like I had done
and she had a quick wee about 10 seconds long. Well she was still
going drip drip drip and she pushed hard to get her turd to come out.
Well it was not a big one, about 5 inches but I saw it drop down in the
water and splash. Well I went back to finish my showering but I stopped
by the drain and I stood in front of it then I spread my legs out a bit
and let rip with a really good wee. It lasted a good long time and I
bet you would have liked to see it, it was a good gusher too! Do you
like it better when I am squatting or standing up for a piss, Jeff?
I do not know if the other girls weed as well because I was in the stall
for about 3 or 4 minutes, apart from my best friend Jackie, who squatted
and had a wee in the drain when I had done mine.
Well, Jeff, I hope you like that one. Yeah, what about that Steve saying
I should tone down my stories? No I know he was just joking. LOL
I am practicing hard to eventually go for my next Aikido grade!
Steve will be pleased you have written, I will tell him.
Love Louise xxxxx
RIZZO - Hi guy! I am so happy your wife's lump was benign. What a relief
you must have had. LOL I liked the story about the little boy going on
at the ladies about him wanting a wee.
Love Louise xx
PV - Hi girl! Oh in the showers after netball we just stood up straight
in the showers and just did it when we felt like it, so we were not all
weeing together or anything but it is like you know, we do sometimes
do that but not this time. I just saw yellow spurting out from my
friend's pussies at different times. Sometimes it just feels good to
just relax and let rip doesn't it? So yeah it was just very casual.
Hey I would like to get us to do it in line this weekend. That would be
fun because it would be a bit different! Yeah.
Last time I think we stayed on the nude beaches about 3 or 4 hours but
we were there often and I think we were a bit lucky to see people
doing things when we did. Sometimes it was busy and sometimes it was
not. There was a really quiet bit where there were no kids where I went
with Steve just so we could get up to other things, you know? My mum
was really good about us doing that and she left us together for a bit.
I bet it was busiest 2 years ago when we went when it was real busy.
LOL the best thing was when we were climbing the steps up the rocks
then and we turned around the corner and there was a girl my age
with her daughter. Hehe they were bending over pissing and Steve says
it was his best sighting because he was surprised to see two bums and
pussies weeing like hell about 2 feet from his face. LOL
I bet you enjoy the beach, and yeah take your towel, you do not want
to burn your bum on the sand. I like using a towel better anyway.
ROBBY AND ANNIE AND FAMILY - Hi! I bet Robby is in good hands. Sarah S
and Meghan you think you can pee 10 or 12 feet? Oh please do measure
it because if you can go that far then it is about 5 feet further than
me and my mum. It is not worth us having contests if you can do that.
No cheating now like one of my netball teammates did, stepping forward
over the line. Tut tut.
KIM AND SCOTT - Hi!!!! LOL I really liked your latest letter! It made
me laugh because you said your log looked like a big brown baseball
bat. Hehehe I bet Steve will like reading about that one, I will tell
him you have written!
I have been to the south of France with my mum and my sister when I
was still at school. I was brave enough to go topless there once when
I was 15 but it was not the day I was wearing a little thong and had
a shit in the sea. Steve is so busy and I am too really so we do not
get to travel a lot, so when we can go we go to Spain because we know
we will enjoy our time there. T hank you for saying such nice things
to me and Steve, we like you and Scott a lot as well. I hope our
Spain stories have been good for you to read.
Love Louise xx
KENDAL - Hey girl, get practicing those standing wees when you can.
LOL. Love Louise xx
Louise.
Tony
Hi from Scotland to all.
Someone asked about hearing the sound effects of a neighbour using their toilet. I was in this lucky position when I was living in a rented house some 20 years ago, before I bought my own place. I had the downstairs flat in a semi detached house in the suburbs of Glasgow. My toilet and bathroom was directly under that of my upstairs neighbour. Now owing to some aspect of the construction of the floor of the upper flat which of course was the ceiling of my flat I could hear all the sound effects of the person above using the toilet, although the sound insulation was far more effective in the living room and bedroom. I assume the builders had saved money on the conversion by only putting insulation on those room where people spent a lot of time. Anyway, I had only been in that flat for a couple of days when, while sitting on the toilet myself doing a motion I had just finished and had noted the first class "kursploonkability" of the pan when I heard the floorboards above c! reaking and the sound of a door closing. I realised that this was my upstairs neighbour, a ???? woman of about 50 who I only ever knew as Miss Gillies entering the toilet. I sat on the pan and listened and was rewarded by the sound of her doing a wee wee tinkling into the pan. It was almost as good as being in the toilet along with her although I couldnt hear the more intimate sounds such as her going "OO! or NNN!. The tinkling stopped then I heard a "PLONK!" I was in luck! then another PLONK! PLUNK! PLOONK! Miss Gillies was doing a motion and I assume was a little bit constipated. There was a gap of a minute or so them I heard KUR-SPLOONK! KU-PLOONK! KA-PLONK! resonating through the ceiling as she did three bigger jobbies. There was then another pause where nothing could be heard, I assumed she was wiping her bum, then I heard the flush being pulled. Now another interesting toilet feature became apparent. Outside my toilet window in the yard was the interceptor trap for th! e upstairs flat and my own toilets' soil pipes. From the way it was constructed one could hear the turds "PLONK!" a second time as they were carried on the torrent of water from the flush into the chamber of the trap and thence to the main sewer under the road. I then heard Miss Gillies "depthcharges" again go "PLONK!" as they passed through the trap though this time, carried by the water of the flush the sounds were far faster in incidence, "SPLOONK! SPLONK! PLONK! KAPLOONK! KAPLONK! KAPLANK!" as her jobbies went on their way to Sheildhall Sewage Works on the banks of the River Clyde . I also had the pleasure of hearing my own jobbies give a repeat performance when I pulled the flush. I had a few years enjoying the performances of Miss Gillies above, in an auditory manner, when she did her big jobbies, and actually saw one of her motions when I was checking out the drains to clear the leaves in the Autumn (Fall) when I heard the upstairs flush go, there was a rush of air an! d a gurgle and then a wad of pale blue toilet paper came into view followed by 4 jobbies, two fat balls the size of goose eggs and two big logs, one a fat knobbly turd about 6 inches long and the second a nice big fat jobbie of about 12 inches. It was a tribute to the capacity of the older toilet pan fitted in both flats and the extra quantity of the Scottish Cistern which is typically 3 gallons that her biggest jobbie flushed away first time and didnt stick in the pan. I was very sorry when I had to leave that house when the Landlord decided to sell to developers and this fine old property was demolished.
Desperate Dan, I have often seen such holes in the partition between toilet cubicles in school, public and works toilets. If I feel troubled by this I simply block it with some toilet paper. To be honest it doesnt bother me usually.
kim and scott
hello all!
TO CD-hello. many girls like carmalita,ringstretcher,alana,nicola,annie,anne the busdriver, and myself had poos over a foot long. and it feels great afterwards. read many of our back posts honey!
TO JEFF A-hello sweetie! thanks for liking my last post. scott and I always like yours too! I hope that you are well!
TO JOHN (VT)-hello. loved your last post. I hope you enjoyed my thanksgiving one. be well!
TO ROBBY,ANNIE,SARAH and MEGHAN-hello there you guys. thanks for liking my last post. scott and I always like yours. you are all a welcome addition to this forum. be well all! more kim and scott stories a bit later. bye now!
Kendal
The lady on the toilet today looks like an air stewardess, although there is far too much room in the toilet for it to be on a plane !
DAVID (15yrs): I really enjoyed your story about you and your girlfriend. She must have really made a very big wet patch if she weed that much. I thought you were very good with her after she had her accident, even if you did get excited at the thought she might have one, naughty boy ! Love Kendal.
DAVID (SOFTY): You're obviously a very caring man as well as a softy !! It was nice of you to say how you would comfort a child and not lower their self esteem. I'm also with you. I'd love to have more girls and boys my own age here to talk to. I fit in your 9to 12 year age bracket, being 11. There are one or two of us about. Take my dear friend LINDA GS. She's 10. And she should be posting again soon. Love from Kendal.
SIMON: I'm sorry things didn't quite work out with your mate's mum. She wouldn't wee outside for you ? Well perhaps she is too used to a comfortable seat ! And as for holding "it" while you wee, well, I'm not surprised she passed on that too ! She wouldn't want to get into trouble with the law would she ?! Better luck another time, maybe with a girl your own age. Andrew, the naughty boy, even suggested that I might go to the bottom of the garden and wee, and write about it just for you ! I said I'd think about it. It's too cold at the moment to do it. I wouldn't want Jack Frost to bite my bum ! You'll have to tell me if you'd like me to do that for you !! Love from Kendal x
TEE: I thought your story was really excellent. I felt very excited for you while I read it, so I'm sure I can understand why you fantasize about it even now. Have you got over your poop shyness now ? Love from Kendal.
STAN: Blunkett, yes !!! Andrew said that sounds like a term that might be used for poos done "blindly at night" and then started laughing so much he had to go for a wee. When I asked him to explain, he said it was a very bad joke, and that I wouldn't approve ! Hmmmmmm ! Well, whatever, I think that BLUNKETT sounds just like the poos my friend Kirsty has on the toilet. The Blunkett noise sounds like a good plop caused by a good solid poo that isn't too thick. As opposed to CULLOMPTON, which is Charlotte's very fat poos plopping into the water with plenty of bum wetting splash-back !! Love from Kendal.
JANE: Oh my gosh !! I couldn't believe you had such a massive poo on a plane ! Fancy being able to rival both Kim and Alana at the same time ! You must have felt so good after that. Love from Kendal xx
UNCLE RIZZO: Andrew and I are so happy to discover that your wife's lump was benign. How very scary for both of you. Now you make sure you look after her very well indeed !! I thought your story about all of you taking up a different spot to wee on that car was very funny and also very naughty ! Mind you, who am I to talk after weeing all down the front of my Uncle's car windscreen !!! I also loved your story about the little boy shouting out loud so everyone heard and looked. I remember my Dad telling me that when I was a little girl, I would always announce in front of guests that I needed the toilet, and whether it was for a wee or a poo, or both ! Mum would always tell me off saying that people didn't need to know the details ! Lots of love from Kendal xxxx ( with a nice smooth hug ! ).
AUNTY ANNIE, UNCLE ROBBY, SARAH S & MEGHAN: I laughed so much when I read Aunty Annie's story about Meghan S**tting out a cow pile that I had to get a hankie to wipe my eyes. We call them cow-pats here in England. I never worked that one out until recently, when Andrew and I were walking past some cows in a field, and one lifted it's tail and began to do it's business. As we stood and watched all this massive soft poo coming out of its bottom, as poo began landing on poo, it made a lot of "pat" sounds. So, hence a cow-pat !!! So, Meghan, Emma Watson reminded you of me, except for her being snippy hey ?! Well I felt very complimented, because I think she is a very good actress. And she is pretty too. So I suppose I can understand Andrew wanting to see her on the toilet. But don't encourage him !! It seems like any film we go to see together, he says " I wonder what she would look like on the toilet " ! Like I said, a one track toilet mind ! Thankfully he doesn't! say that about my friends. Mind you, why should he ? He's seen most of them on the toilet anyway !!! Sarah, hope you had a lovely birthday. I'll be 12 on the 12th January, so not long now. Andrew will be 17 on the 29th May. And dear Uncle Robby, I'm very pleased to learn that you got my simple gentle kiss better. It obviously worked, because you're home again. Now as for your Grandad, he sounds very old fashioned, just like my own Grandad. When ever I visit my Grandad and Grannie, I can never go with Andrew, because they only have two bedrooms, and guests most certainly can't be allowed to sleep in the living room. And as for the thought that Andrew and I could share the same bedroom, well, Grandad would expire on the spot ! Even more so if he knew that I sneak in bed with him anyway when I get very upset in the middle of the night. So just like your grandad, he must never find out that Andrew and I watch each other on the toilet as well. Thank goodness it wasn't Uncle! Robby and Aunty Annie in the bathroom together when Grandad walked in !!!! Lots of love from Kendal ( and Andrew ) xxxxxxxxxx
LINDA GS: Now come along, no more putting it off ! You must have needed your thanksgiving poop by now !!! Hope its not the moderator keeping you away from me ! Please keep trying if it is. No giving up ! You're far too special to me ( and Andrew, sorry Drew (heh), I mean, he's rather a lot of smoochies saved up while you've been away so long !!) And he is showing classic signs of withdrawal symptons. Do you realise that the wee I had this morning before we left to catch the bus to school, I had to sit on the toilet, and smooth my school skirt down my legs instead of holding it over my ????. You've got a lot to answer for, girl !! Look forward to hearing from you very soon. Lots and lots of love to my dear on-line sister xxxxxxxxxxx.
PS Did Kendal and Lynda have mega thanksgiving poops ? I bet their nappies were a sight for sore eyes.
PPS Andrew would never forgive me if I forgot his XOSXOS !!
Robby
Happy post Thanksgiving!!
The girls and Annie are at school so this is MY post! I took Dad to the plane and am sitting here trying to work a bit. This leads to a story on thanksgiving years ago. We were alone that year. Only Susan and the girls. We were lounging around and I got up to use the loo. I went in and weed and weed. Then Susan came in and sat down. She weed and let out a huge fart(trump). She growled and grunted. It was a deep UUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHOHHHHHHHH! The first piece started coming out and she said;"This is going to be hard". She pushed and pushed. The whopper finally splashed in the bowl. It must have been 12" long. Several more farts pfffed out and two more logs plopped or cullompted(hard laughter)into the toilet. She sighed and wiped several times. It took three flushes to get it all down. Several times that afternoon I heard growns and grunts from the loo. All of my lovely women were "performing". It was like a serenade!!
KENDAL: How is my lovely,dear niece? It has seemed like donkey's years since I spoke to you personally. The girls and Dad had a private meeting. They came out of it with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. I was so glad. He is a sweet man but is very old fashioned. You could start a new loo language. Cullompted, whlopted. You could say "I am going to trumpington" and you could sail on to the loo. Since I have been on this new food plan, my poos have been a lot better. Annie is very pleased. I am eating a lot of ???? and fruits. Better for the arteries. That simple, gentle kiss you sent me was just the thing to get me up again. Don't be hesitant to poo at school. It was hard for me at first,too. I just didn't care what other people thought. I just sat there and did my grunts. I am on the 2nd Harry Potter book. They are fascinating, aren't they. Hope you have had many adventures with Andrew in the loo. Hope they are gentle poos, too! I am giving you that big,! squeezy hug!!!! Lots of Lovexxxxxxx Uncle Robby
LAWN DOGS KID: It has been a long time since we have spoken,too. Did you have a good weekend? I read that you and Kendal went to see the "Harry Potter" film. All of us went and really enjoyed it. Are charlotte's poos really the large or as Kendal calls them; cullompted(laughter) kind? Is she your age? Don't worry, I am not trying to chat you up with anyone. The girls are getting more "open door" in the loo. The poo was scared out of them when Dad walked in, though. I saw the "Almost Famous" tape and the toilet scene wasnt' that interesting. I guess I was expecting more. Hope everything is coming along in your studies. I know you have to study hard. The girls always complain about it. They had a hard poo before they left yesterday. I didn't venture by. I think it was the rest of the thanksgiving lunch. Annie said it was a massive scene. By-the-way, men who have toilety minds are REAL MEN, hahaha!! You don't realize how red Meghan gets when she is blushing. Look at the re! d in the Union Jack and a shade darker. That should tell you. Take care, my dear man! Lots of Love, Robby
RIZZO: That was a wonderful story about the boy needing to wee. I had that problem with my girls. Susan had to deal with that, though. What wonderful news it is to hear that your wife's biopsy is benign!! I am SO glad!! Take care, my dear friend. Love, Robby
Jeff A: It is great to see you back. I know it has been hard for you. Losing someone dear to you is traumatic. I know. I am taking care of myself. Thank you for your concern. The experience you had with Barbara is a real "pick you up". I am glad your wife approves of it. Hope you have other times for this experience. Take care, my friend! Love, Robby
DIANENY: WOW! That was a mega buddy dump session. How many flushes did it take to get all of that down? Enemas DO work, don't they. Glad you are back. Take care, Robby
BRYIAN: Congrats on the Thanksgiving dump! It sounded like mine. Cheers, Robby
CD: Welcome! You have come to the right forum for the answer to your question. Cheers, Robby
PV: Hi Gal! Hope we didn't sound like we were being a bit naggy about the beach wees. All in good time! Glad you advanced into the "open door policy"!! By-the-way, Annie should want to join that British standup wee!! Take care, Robby(Annie)
CARMALITA: Hi sweetie!! I am following my food plan and my dumps are very easy. Annie is watching me closely. I don't want to make Nurse Carmalita angry. You are special. Tell Jake hello for me! Love, Robby
WELCOMES AND SPECIAL HELLOS: Tee-welcome!!, David, Renee(new poster), Sara T(Hope you made it), Melanie, Bella(Welcome), Dallas(Welcome), Althea, Joseph G, Adele, Pat and Renee, Alana, Mandy, Mindy, Misty, Jane(Thanks,Gal), Louise and Steve, Rjogger and Kathy(Hope you are mending), LindaGS, Linda14yrs., Buzzy, Upstate Dave, Diva(great story), Laura, Adrian(Thanks), Kim and Scott(glad you are back), Too Embarrassed, Kate, Ring Stretcher, David and Niki, Todd and Diana(you are sweet), Elena, Ellie and Little Lou(hope you come back), and all of the other great posters here.
CHEERS ROBBY
Monday, November 26, 2001
Pete, what publication was that from?Dork
Ringstretcher no passenger flying into National airport may get out of their seat for the last half hour of the flight as the plabne approches the airport. It is a new law bassed by your legislators that you pay taxes to the government that pays their salaries. Wasn;t that nice of them to pass that lwa.Eric in Chicago
Mike R: You need to get your blood sugar tested, as frequent, large-volume urination can be a symptom of diabetes. Don't rely on testing your urine for sugar; you can have dangerously high blood sugar without it showing up in your urine.
Desperate Dan
Does anyone else here not think it's weird and kinda sickening to see a hole that lets you look into the next stall. To me thats just not right. What are your thoughts?Doc
What's the longest period of time anyone's gone without pooping? For me it would be about 4 days, I think.