Welcome aboard, HAZEL. Let me see if I'm beginning to understand... You say you are able to pee straight down while wearing a dress or skirt, sans undies, because you use a normal standing position with legs slightly spread. That is, if a woman were, instead, to tilt her waist backwards and pelvis forward while peeing standing, that would result in an arc - provided nothing else is in the way of a clear shot. Maybe that's how the Ecuadorian Indian women with the long skirts were able to pee without lifting them, even though they did squat a bit.
Thanks for clarifying, PV. I sometimes forget my handle, too. BTW, HAZEL, PV is the resident standard bearer of female stand-up peeing at this site, if I may put it that way, along with some other sisters in the cause, now including you. Go for the convenience, I say.
My work recently took me inside a large stadium which is being expanded. The new addition includes a higher ratio of toilet facilities for women, but pan toilets only, so I can still imagine the long queues at the ladies come US football season in the fall. Standing up has to be part of the solution, if only someone would design an appealing, functional female urinal and there were enough women willing to use them. But this theme isn't new here.
Sandy--When you say on the third day you "tried to have a bowel movement but nothing came out," was the urge to crap even there? What about on the fourth day when you strained without results was the urge to crap there?
Anne the Bus Driver--where are you?
Here's a debate--who makes more straining noises when passing big logs, men or women?
WOW, what a bowel movement I just had! I just returned from the gym when I felt it coming down into my rectum. I hadn't shit today and Mondays I usually shit a lot, but Iwasn't prepared for this one! I felt my ass getting fuller and fuller, and I waited on purpose until it felt so full I couldn't hold it in without sitting down, but I remained standing and went into the bathroom walking with my ass cheeks squeezed together. I squatted on the seat while watching myself in a mirror, and started to push down, but the first part was so big and hard that it wouldn't get past my asshole; I cried out "Oh god" and sucked it back in, fearing I'd have a hemmorage. I had to go SO bad, and yet I couldn't! I decided to apply more pressure to my abdomen, while at the same time leaning forward as far as I could, and I finally felt the huge turd emerge from my asshole- watching it slowly come out in the mirror, it seemed like it took forever--it didn;'t taper off like most turds, but ca! me out at least 2 inches across for the first 8 inches, then broke off, the 2nd part about 5 inches. What a relief! My legs were trembling from the exertion. I looked back into the toilet and it was probably the largest & longest BM I'd had in months. I jumped inthe shower after which I adjourned to the bedroom thinking about getting this massive bowel movement out of my ass, which must have extended far beyond its usual opening to accommodate it. All for now......bye
Hi you all! I'm back to the office after an Easter weekend, as we have no bank holiday here. So now I can use the computer, as the one at home is still being occupied by our youngest.
Dear Kendal! First of all, a great big hug to you from your uncle Rizzo! You wonder how I guessed what could happen? It is a matter of putting two and two together. It could have been worse. I had hoped against hopes that your mother's new man might just be a very nice person and that he might even have children of his own you might get along well with. This turned out to be the case. But your mother wants to keep you within reach and under her absolute control. She may be jealous of your daughter/father relationship and of your friendship with your cousin, also from your father's side of the family. The way she tries to achieve this however, not only puts you, Andrew and your father into opposition, but could strain her relationship with Steve and her step daughters-to-be as well! How would you like to have your mum as a step mother? The answer to that one might give you an idea of how Kate and Emily might be feeling! Now as I understood, your mother is expecting a baby. ! I hope it will be soon, because that would divert your mother's attention and give you some respite. She may even change her attitude. So, dear Kendal, it is not over, take care, keep toilet activities to yourself when in Cumbria, and rest assured that my heart is always with you love, Rizzo.
Hi PV! You multiple wee beach excursion was a real treat to read! You seem to have found the balance between fluid intake versus sweating from lugging so much water around and your bladder filling rate and capacity! It must have been little like balancing on a tight-rope. You wobbled (clenched your sphincter hard) but you succeeded in reaching the beach and beating your record in number of wees. So you are another step away from AP! Congratulations! For the final step in overcoming AP I suggest I should accompany you to the beach, both us weeing in parallel action and talking casually about digs in Central Asia at the same time! (GRIN so wide that my earlobes are in danger of getting caught between my back teeth)! There is only a little thing against such an undertaking: I am not at all fond of lying in the sun on sandy beaches, be they nudist or other (chuckle). I prefer my boat. Or how about sailing with us and weeing over the side at night when plankton is in "bloom" an! d you can pee a trail of sparkles! Or would peeing with dolphins as spectators provide part of an ultimate cure? Who knows? Hugs from Rizzo.
Louise, aha! So you have found that peeing in the sink scissors fashion caught Steve's attention! It certainly caught mine when my wife-to-be tried it that first time. But that had been part of the plan too! ;-)
I hope you had fun in Scotland!
Steve, when we were students we went to a small lake for a late evening barbecue with three other couples. We took plenty of beer with us and lit a good fire on the sandy shore. Soon the first one of us had to pee. We boys just went to a bush at the edge of the firelight and hosed the twigs. The girls however, showed modesty in inverse proportion to the amount of beer imbibed. The first one to go walked a hundred yards into the darkness for a very private wee. The next one removed herself only just out of earshot. My partner (not yet my wife) went behind the same bush we boys had watered. But the last one, a petite blonde in blue shorts and with shoulder length flaxen hair and capable of downing more beer between wees, just stepped to the side, turned her back to us, hooked her thumbs into the waist band of her pants and pulled these down together with her panties in one go, letting us admire her shapely bum. She squatted down with her back rod straight and started to wee ! with a moderate tinkle. After about ten seconds of this she took a deep breath which changed the pitch of her tinkle to a hiss. She then bore down producing a fierce, vertical, very loud earth drilling gusher of a wee that glittered between her ankles in the firelight. Conversation around the fire died as we looked and listened in awe. Never had any of us boys witnessed a girly deluge of such proportions! After she had finally finished she simply pulled up her white cotton panties over her tanned thighs, then her pants, and buttoning these remarked, "Is anything the matter?" We answered in the affirmative referring to her splendid performance. She seemed quite flattered, completely uninhibited, which we found rather pleasant.
So much for today, but I'm thinking about an incident from my times as a trainee aboard a square rigger for you guys out there. Happy reliefs everyone, Rizzo
Lawn Dogs Kid
Drew..this one's on me.[combs his hair and winks] I know what the two of you are going through..trust me. me and my cousin went through what you're going through a while back. Do you recall a post I did a long while back when my cousin got yelled at and didn't want to go with me? Well I never told..and neither did my cousin but we got visited by people from social services a week later. It is awful I know..but do you know what? While I and my parents never saw each other much..when they found out they got invovlved and went after my aunt who started the whole thing. My cousin was the one who ended it. I asked him..so I can post this..although I don't it will get posted but I think it should. My cousin confrounded my aunt and she yelled at him... then what happened was my cousin said and me and my parents heard..(We were in the next room listening although we probably shouldn't have)"I'm not like you..you molested me when I was 4 many times..but I'm not like you" We were al! l in shock... we were in even more shock when she admitted to it and told him as she laughed that no one would believe him anyway. My parents stormed out of the room and got involved..my aunt..well no one hasn't seen her since..I think she's ashamed and well the whole nasty thing went away. But my cousin felt ashamed..he carried that with him for so long. He knew what it was like..and why he acted and withdrew from me when he got in trouble. I know he'd never do anyhting liek that to me..especially since he knows what it's like. Elena knew..he told her long ago..but I felt so bad for him..just like I feel bad for the two of you. You two have limits which you two never cross.. so you have nothing to feel bad about..I know cause me and my cousin do the same. Also if you notice he withdrew when you said you wanted him to see you..now you know why. he's a good person...and I know you two know it just as well..so please try not to worry. Done? [puts the brush down] Now it's time f! or a story:
It's short and sweet but VERY funny. I was sitting on the toilet having a slow but dreamy poop. It was thundering badly outside.. and lightning would light up the night sky like daylight outside. I was relaxing when a huge roar of thunder came and it even echoed throught the house. I screamed as the lights went out. My cousin came in with a flashlight and asked if i wa sokay. I lifted my head up and said"It scared the poop out of me" And it did. the shock scared me and the poop shot right out of me(I think it was more from my forcful scream than anything else) My cousin almost died laughing..then so did I. I hope this cheers you up you two.
Yeah we got stroies for you, wanna trade?
Jared: To answer your question, I always look at the toilet paper after each wipe to see how much shit there is on it. My Mom would tear a strip off me if I dumped boxers with skidmarks on them in the laundry hamper. I always wipe until my butthole is real clean. If I'm shitting in a doorless stall at school, I look at the wads of TP after wiping just the same as at home. I do this even if one of my buddies is outside the stall waiting for me to get done. I've never felt ashamed of crapping and most of my buddies are the same. We all were raised on farms in the Midwest and are used to crapping around other guys. The busiest times with guys crapping at my school are the morning break and after lunchbreak. I always take a shit during the morning break and sometimes after lunchbreak. Its great to be among other guys while they are dumping their loads. There is always a lot of kidding and horseplay going on. Its real funny when all the crappers are occupied at morning b! reak and there are guys waiting outside to take a dump before classes start again.
Plunging Plop Guy: I'm sure glad you liked my story about those guys who hassled me in the bar bathroom while I was taking a dump. I think you asked about bullying in the Highschool bathrooms. Anway, there was a group of bigger guys, mainly football players, who used to hang out in the bathroom during breaks. They used to smoke in the bathroom and always left a lookout in the hall to see if a teacher was coming. The stalls in the bathroom did not have doors and these big guys always used to hassle guys who had to take a dump during breaks. Usually, they would just jeer at a guy taking a shit and make remarks when a guy farted or dropped a noisy load. Sometimes, they got real nasty if any guy tried to get smart back to them. The toilet paper was not on dispensers but was left on the tanks at the back of each pot. These guys would often then remove the paper while a guy was shitting. When the guy got done he would have to go to another stall to wipe and they would all! jostle him as he went to the next stall holding up his pants. One of these olders guys was real nasty. Sometimes guys who had crapped did not flush. This guy would then push younger guys heads into these bowls and flush the toilet with their head in the bowl. I remember a guy who was new at the school who came to take a shit. He did not know about these bullies. When they started hassling him he told them to "F*** off." They got real mad and pulled him off the pot. I saw him standing in the middle of the restroom with his pants and boxers round his ankles surrounded by these guys who were taking turn in pushing him around. I never saw him take a shit at shcool again after that. Hope this answers all your questions.
Kerry, I loved your story about your accident on the ski lift. I was wondering if you are male or female?
Hi. i wanted to post about something that was a bit embaressing that happened to me yestreday. As a part time job, I am a musician. I get a few jobs playing here and there. Well, yesterday, I was hired to play an Easter mass at a church. I had to be up early that day. I was up at 6 AM. Usually, in the mornigs I have some bad bouts of diarrhea. I don't know why, but when I wake up I usually have some diarrhea about 3 or 4 times. then I feel better and go on with my day. When I got up at 6, I felt some stomach discomfort so I tired to get the diarrhes out of the way. I could not get it all out. Maybe this was because the time difference threw me off, I don't know. Well I had to leave for my job at the church. Between masses we (the musicians) were rehearsing something in a hall attatched to the church. That's when I knew I was ready to have some badly delayed diarrhea. The room has a one at a time locking unisex bathroom. I said I would be back I need to use the ! bathroom. I headed over quickly. As I got to the door I heard a woman that I like say she also better go before we play- too much coffee or something she said. Well she needed to pee, but I was already in for diarrhea. I sat on the toilet with the door locked and began to explode with loose watery and loud gassy diarrhea, while she was waiting outside of the door. She must have heard the whole thing. Also, it smelled very bad and she went in right after me. Iwas so embarressed. usually, I am into pooping around others, but they should be strangers not someone who I know and like. I was really embaressed and felt funny, but had no choice in the matter.
One more story about being spied on. One time I had to take a poop and I was at the men's room at a mall. Th estalls had the type of doors that cloe and seal off any cracks- very comforting feeling in a public Bathroom. Well, I was taking a bit of time as I had to go bad, when I look up and some guy had climbed up on the toilet in the next stall and was looking at me. I was mad and emcarressed. I said "hey you got some kind of f****** problem" He said no and ran out quickly.
Another time I will post about a couple other stories from public bathrooms that I have
Please can someone tell about the Julia Roberts bathroom scenes in the Mexican. how many are there? Does she poop in them? Can it be heard or seen?
KENDAL: You poor thing! What a dreadful thing for your Mum to subject you to. However, I feel that I must say, in my opinion, people with a mind as suspicious and dirty as you Mum's usually have something to feel ashamed of or are guilty of something, which is why they spring to such foul conclusions. It makes me so angry to think that your own flesh and blood humiliated you like that. How old are you, 11? That's only a couple of years older than Little Lou, and if anyone ever put my baby sister through what you've had to face, I'd kill them.
ANDREW: The same goes for you too. You must be so upset to be accused of hurting Kendal. The two of you are so close that it must feel like being stabbed with a knife. I told Little Lou, and she sends you (and Kendal too), a really big hug. She said she wishes she could give you both her teddy, because he aways makes her feel better when she's sad. If it comes to that, I send you both a really big hug as well. Little Lou would have posted herself, but on Good Friday, she fell off her bike and broke her arm.
In reply to your last post, Lou asked me to tell you that she loves having Courtney around. The only bad point is that Courtney sleeps in Lou's old cot in our room, and when Lou and I go to bed, we can't chat,or turn the light on, because Courtney's already asleep, and we might wake her up. We'll have to get bunk beds when we can afford it, because in 6 months, Courtney will be too big for the cot, so Lou and I will be able to climb up onto the top bunk and chat without waking Courtney. Kev seems to find it amusing to go in his room, and play his CD's so loud that Courtney wakes up, but I hope it's just a phase he's going through. I'm starting to miss my big brother. I wish we could make it up, but until I stop seeing Craig, Kev doesn't want anything to do with me.
Courtney doesn't seem to mind group visits to the toilet, and she's had a sit-on-knees wee with Lou. The poor little thing wet herself the other day, which was really nasty for her. I had taken Lou out on Craig's smallest pony, Imp. We were going through the lanes, when we stopped in a gateway to adjust Lou's stirrups. All of a sudden, she started crying, and when I turned around, I saw a huge puddle growing round her feet. You could tell from the smell that wasn't all she's done in her knickers. I helped Lou down from Imp, and we tied him up. Thankfully, she had a skirt on, so it wasn't as bad as it might have been. She took her knickers off, and I told her to throw them in the hedge. They were too filthy to carry home. We led her down to the stream in the field, and tried to clean her as best we could using tissues. She started crying and said she had to go again. I said ok, and took her so she couldn't be seen. I thought she needed another wee, but she normally wees sta! nding up when we're outdoors. I was surprised when she squatted. I held her under her arms, as she asked me to, so she wouldn't fall over. Without wishing to put anybody off their dinner or anything, she had the worst imaginable diareah for a little child. She stayed squatting, and produced a little dribble of wee before being sick twice. Poor little thing. We both felt so sorry for her. I think what happened to her Mum must be affecting her very badly. I'm sure that's what it is, cos she was fine all day, before and after the incident. When we'd cleaned her up, she kept apologising. She said she knew she had to poo, but she knew that if she had to squat, she needed someone to hold her, and she said she was enjoying being with me and Lou too much to stop us. But the poor little thing looked really scared, as if we were going to tell her off, but I picked her up and cuddled her until she stopped crying. Still, she's better now, bringing Lou her toys so that Lou doesn't think ab! out her arm hurting her. She's so cute.
PV: I loved your description of the day at the beach. I'm impressed. Thank you for being angry at Kendal's Mum too. Let's hope Kendal and Andrew are both smiling again soon.
lots of love (and hugs to Kendal and Andrew from Lou and I),
When i was in the navy, my first sea duty station was on an old WWII vintage destroyer tender. The toilets aboard consisted of a trough with running water going thru it and a series of seats in open stalls. It was strange at first to be sitting there and see a turd go floating by under you, but I soon got used to it.
I was reading the posts and came across your post bluecollar and I for one would like to read any stories
I have just got rid of yesterdays Easter Feast.
As is the case in the UK we had a big meal for Easter. For the first time the kids were elsewhere, my daughter living with her fiance and my son off on a weeks holiday with his girlfriend. Keith and I had a nice meal of Roast Turkey and all the trimmings followed by sherry trifle. Being me, and not worried about the fact that I am a bit plump, (once you are past 40 who cares?), I had a second helping of each.
Now I hadnt done a poo on Saturday, the last motion I had done was on Friday, in the Ladies Toilet at a local shopping mall, a nice big solid lumpy carrot shaped jobbie which made a loud KU-BULOONG! in the stainless steel pan. It was too big to flush away, so I left it for the inspection of the thin woman who came into the cubicle as I came out. I heard her exclaim, "Bloody Hell!" as I went to wash my hands.
This morning I got up with Keith and we had our shower together. The warm water running over my little fat belly started things moving and I gave a loud fart. Keith laughed and asked, "Needing a big jobbie are you Carol?" I patted my ???? and replied, "Yes there's a big brownie at the back door, Id better sit on the pan or it will be joining us in the shower!" I stepped out of the shower and still dripping wet sat on the pan. Keith put the shower off to watch and listen. I did my wee wee and after the tinkling stopped I felt the first big hard lump stretch my ring. OO! AH! PLOONK! PLONK! two hard balls came out then a nice fat log slowly emerged and plunged into the pan KUR-SPLOOMP!" I wasnt finished as a long smooth snake of easy but solid poo slid out between my fat buttocks and landed on top of the big hard knobbly cylinder with no sound. I got up off the pan and we both had a good look. There were two lumps the size of billiard balls, and the two big jobbies, the f! irst was a real log blunt at both ends, about 10 inches long, 2.5 inches fat and knobbly and a dark brown like the two balls which preceded it. The crowning glory was a long smooth snake, coiled round in the pan the start touching the finish, a light kakhi brown in colour. I sure felt a lot better after that. Keith then sat on the pan, my performance having made him need and with a loud UH! AH! passed a nice big 12 incher carror shaped jobbie on top of mine . It made a sort of SLAP! sound as it hit my combined load. We went back into the shower and cleaned up. This little lot will take a few buckets of water to shift Im sure!
Monday, April 16, 2001
Kendal--I'm sorry to hear about you and your mom and I hope that you and your mom work everything out. One last thing I think it is normal to want to be with someone once in a while when they are going to the bathroom and some people don't seem to understand that. My advise to you is if your mom has a problem with that don't tell her about it and try your best not to let her find out.
Billy L--I also find that I have soft poop. I usually poop twice a day. Once in the morning when I usually have my runny stuff and again in the afternoon at home or at school when it becomes normal. About your other story I also think it's better to go at school rather than holding it and having cramps all day. Plus I feel that the other kids would rather you go to the restroom rather them smell you fart all day trying to hold it back.
Ben--I also have a water bottle in my room so when I have to go at night and I don't want to wake my parents I go in that. I hide it behind my bed until the next morning so my parents don't see it.
JS--Thanks for your feedback.
Luke--I hope to go to the bathroom at easy as you do someday.
To the dad that his son has trouble with streak marks (I'm sorry I forgot your name)--I find I have to wipe at least five time to get clean I don't know how your son can be comfortable with just one wipe.
Everone--I enjoy your posts and if you have anymore stories I'll love to read them.
I was outside one day and I got the strongest urge to poop and pee.So I walked behind the shed and squatted.I dropped like 10 big turds and I peed so much.It was weird because b4 I went out there I didnt have to go.
I remember when I was about 7,we were walkin some company outside and I was too scared to go back inside to the bathroom so my mom told me to go behind the tree in the front yard because it was dark outside.I squatted behind the tree and peed my lil brains out.I was so relieved.
I also remember as a young kid..we had a lil club in my friends tree house.And every1 would pee and poop freely in front of each other in that tree house.I thought that was kinda weird considerin we were about 5 th grade.I never would really do that cuz I was a lil too shy.
Recently I was given a barium enema in the hospital. No one had told me to take another enema when I got home. I did not expect to go the first few days. I peeded the first two days. The third day I tryed to have a bowel movement, nothing came out. The fourth day I strained without results. I the inserted a suppository and strained rwal hard. Again no results. I then got out the enema bag and took 2 quarts. After several minutes I sat down and tryed to go. Only a little water came. I was real desperate. I refilled the bag and took more water while standing up. Then quickly sat down on the toilette and strained as hard as I could. I passed some water and some tiny pieces. I repeated the enema standing up several more times gradually getting more and more sligtly bigger pieces out. Finnaly the log jam broke and some bigger pieces came out.
Early this spring, a group of us got together for a day of skiing.
When I was mid way up the ski lift, I had to poo very bad, but the only place with the toilets was at the chalet at the base of the ski hill. I got so many cramps all of a sudden, and I knew it was going to come out, and then it did, big time. But my black nylon ski suit contained it well, there was no external evidence of what had happened. When I got off the chair lift it was crushed badly. Then I had to ski down to the chalet toilets to clean up. This was a weird feeling, skiing with a load of mush between my cheeks. It was a worse mess than I had thought it would be when I got into a toilet stall at the chalet. The back of my ski suit was pasted to my skin and undies from the waist half way down to my knees. I decided it was too big of a clean up job to tackle there. Since the damage was
already done, but invisible from the outside, I headed for the lift and went down the hill three or four more times, but I declined the invitation to join everyone else for dinner and drinks (for obvious reasons). I told them I wasn't feeling good and went home. Even though the nylon ski suit was well-sealed, I put a plastic bag on the car seat before I sat there for the drive home. I went straight into the shower and also washed out the ski suit in the shower before I put it into the washing machine. Never could tell what it went through after it came out of the machine.
My dear neice KENDAL --
Oh, that makes me so ... hopping mad at your Mom! That wicked, wicked person would have you interrogated by Social Services to see if... And then subject you to an uncomfortable and embarressing examination to see if you were lying! The more I learn of the way people are capable of behaving in this world, the less I like them. Come for a huge, warm, fuzzy hug, darling, safe in your Aunty's arms.
TRAVELLING GUY -- yes, the unnamed poster was me -- i forgot to enter my handle in the name field! Drat -- I do that at times... Glad the info was illuminating.
AUSTIN -- A historical or ancient pee or poop story? Hmmmm, lesseee. Sit-down flush toilets existed in Minoan Crete three thousand years ago. They were essentially on the Roman pattern, flowing water beneath stone benches, and very much open. It is said that Ancient Greece had zero hangups about bodily evacuations, their culture did not feature the need for private evacuations -- just the absolute segregation of the sexes after about the 5th century BC, when Greece became hyper-mysogynistic. What else... The shower had come into existence in the cities of Ancient India, eg. Monhenjo Daro, something like five thousand years ago (if memory serves) -- gravity feed plumping to a shower area against one indoor wall, and an angled floor that let used water drain to a collecting ditch that flowed into the street outside. With that kind of invention, I would assume they used the shower area for urinating too, and simply washed it into the ditch with a spray from the gravity-fed plumbing. Happy? GRIN!
HAZEL -- What a very sane, comfortable attitude to relieving yourself discretely around town! It may be that comparitively few women are made insuch a way that they can guarantee a linear stream that will fall just so, avoiding the skirt, but I have indeed known women who could do that before. They enjoyed it very much, and got a charge from the anonymity aspect of being able to go almost with impunity. A long skirt, no panties, and you have a built-in convenience factor!
Just read my first post! Well, actually the 2nd...first didn't make it, I guess. Half an hour ago I posted about a book that most of you would find interesting....then I had breakfast. consisting of my usual granola, prunes & figs, topped by banana & ground almonds, and after a big meal last night I'm now feeling a tremendous urge to have a bm, but trying to hold onto it as long as I can...OHHHH god.....glad I'm sitting down but I can feel it bulging out my rear it's soooo urgent. I've been having fairly easy ones lately but this one feels like it might be a hard log; have trouble getting those started past the ring so have taken to squatting when I feel a hard one on the way, and I can place a mirror in front of the toilet and watch it ease it's way out...Oh god........REALLY HAVING TO GO NOW....can't hold it much longer. Ohhhhhhhh.....wish I had a partner to help me right now.... Running to the toilet.....Uhhhhh got to get the log past my ring.. god its hard....! Owwwwweeeeeeee... keep pushing....harder...harder.. AHHHHHHHH! Tremendous feeling of relief after ridding myself of this massive turd. Never thought I'd get it out. At least 2 feet long....my bunghole really stretched this time beyond its limits. But it felt soooo good! Got to go rest now after the exertion.........bye
Can't get enough of this! An informational post this time. There is a book about the history of shit, titled: END PRODUCT: The First Taboo, by Sabbath & Hall, with forward by Abby Rockefeller. Publisher: Urizen Books, 1977. Might be available from some library sites. On the frontispiece: "The perfect book for the bathroom. End Product is a richly comic work, and there's no use pussyfooting about the subject--it's about the last unbroken taboo: human excrement, more commonly called (from the middle English) "shit." As you read, you may snigger, you may giggle, you may guffaw, and you may laugh but in the end you will realize that we have not been paying enough attention to the "other side" of human life. Our obstinate refusal to deal with our attitudes toward this age old taboo poisons our minds and our water, robs our bodies and our soil, trashes our food supply and, as much as sexual repression, saps our vital energies and blocks our way to a rich and creative life. By not coming to grips with it, we are being inundated by it. Whether the authors are talking about Martin Luther's excremental hangup or exposing the chamber pot in the Papal throne, whether they talk about Joe's turd, or Mrs. Klaxons fetish in Oshkosh, you will be thinking about a subject in a new and different way--and it may change your life. Enjoy End Product and you will begin enjoying your end product more. Indeed, as the authors say, this may be the last book you will ever read in the bathroom." A personal opinion: changed my attitudes after reading some of the admittedly unusual stories contained therein. Highly recommended. Till next time................
Sunday, April 15, 2001
Billy the Kid (aka Billy L.)
Someone asked if anyone makes soft poops. My poops are almost always soft. My brothers are the same way. My brother kev and I poop like 2 or 3 times a day. My brother mike only poops every other day. But hims poops are not hard. They seem to come right out. My friend paul sometimes makes real hard poops. Sometimes he goes 4 or 5 days without pooping. His poops are real nubby. He really has to grunt to get them out.
Yesterday at school, Paul really had to poop at school after recess. I had to poop too. When I got in the bathroom, my teacher was finishing up on the toilet. When he was done, he flushed the toilet. THere were two big turds, but not huge. ONe was floating and the other at the buttom. When he flushed the toilet, it overflowed. He said oops. The one turd was still floating and going around, and the one at the buttom was still visible int he hole. So it was nto his turds that backed it up. When he saw that we had to poop, he said you guys can go the nurses office to go. He said to stop by the principles office them there is flood here. Paul went strait to the nurses office. I went to the principals office and let them know. The nurse was on the toilet when I got the nurses office. When she came out, we asked to use the bathroom. we said the one in our classroom flooded. SHe siad go ahead. When we got in there, it really smelled. SHe had done a really stinky poo. There was a! lot a streak marks in the toilet too. When we got in the bathroom, paul said he already pooped one log. He sat right down. THere was a log about 4 inches in his underwear. It was pretty solid and did not leave too many marks. He pooped out about 5 big logs, all of which floated. The he wiped and pushed the turd into the toilet from underneath the underwear. Then I sat down and made 3 turds, about 4 inches long. I wiped. Then I flushed the toilet. The toilet was clogged too. There were some skid marks where my turds went through. THe water rose, but did not overflow. We washed our hands and told the nurse on the way out.
Having just encountered this site, I was surprised to read the enquiry from "Traveling Guy" about his experience of female weeing. I have always been able to go in whatever seems to be the most approprite way the situation demands. I have to admit that it is safer (from a personal hygiene point of view) to lower my undies and squat, especially if I need to have a wee. Where that position would be out of the question, say in town, then I have always been able to do it while standing. I prefer not to be wearing any knickers as I for one find it very uncomfortable to continue wearing them when they are wet. Others may find it a turn but I don't. With summer fast approaching, my usual mode of attire will be a dress or skirt but sans lingerie. It really is better and more comfortable (not to say more healthy) not to be cluttered up with unnecessary clothing. This also makes it a lot easier to have a wee, or whatever, without having to be bothered with extra layers of clothi ng. Many is the time I have been able to relieve myself, discreetly, in what would be otherwise impossible locations.
I suppose I am lucky in that my internal geometry allows me to wee in a perfect line without any fear of sprinkling my clothing. Simply by standing still, with my legs slightly apart, my stream falls neatly between my feet. All that are at risk are my feet and shoes/sandals, but these can often be removed if I am on grass. After all, there is nothing unusual about seeing a woman standing in a park, or at a bus stop, or on the beach. Remember, it's a case of needs must. If my comfort is at stake, then a slight splashing of my shoes is a small price to pay - after all, it can easily be wiped off some moments later.
Unlike others, I choose not to make a song and dance about having to go. If I need to go, I go. But I prefer not to be an exhibitionist about these things. With a little practice and confidence, you can go as I do; anywhere, anytime, and (almost) any place.
Shopping trips, excursions, holidays, they all hold no fear for me.
Luke, DJ, and JS: I am an 18 year old guy and I've enjoyed reading your posts a lot. The stalls in the bathrooms at my school have doors, so crapping at school has obviously not been a problem for me. But even if there were doorless stalls, I wouldn't feel self-conscious about taking a crap, especially if there were other guys doing it too at the same time. The first few times might be tough, but I would get used to it. It's definitely better to dump your load in a doorless stall at school than to shit in your pants, no matter how shy you are about it. Here's one question for you dudes: when you wipe after taking a dump in a doorless stall, do you look at the sheet/wad of TP before you throw it in the pot, to see how much more wiping is needed?? If so, do you care about anyone else seeing your shit-streaked toilet paper? Also, do you notice if there's a particular time of the day when the bathrooms are busiest with guys crapping - like during a morning break, in the afternoon,! etc.??
Does anybody have something special they pee in besides the toilet?
I have a water bottle I keep hidden in my room on those nights I'm reading posts and surfing the net and I know I'm not going to make it so I pee in that. And has anybody tried that thing about going in a baby diaper when the bathroom is being used? That might come in handy.
I have something that may save you from a bed wetting accident. I was thirsty last night so I had two glasses of water. But I was very tired and I have to wait until I can pee or else I will wet the bed. But I was to tired to wait so this is what I did. I got a really tight pair of underware and a baby daiper. I put the baby diaper inside the underware so that I had a make shift diaper. I went to bed feeling safe. When I woke up the diaper was soaked. So I threw it away and took a shower. This saved me from a big embarrasment. Right now I have one on and I'm seeing if it will soak thew my clothes.
Billy the Kid (aka Billy L.)
Yesterday, after school, it was real warm out. A bunch of us went out to play soccer. I had to make poops. We always poo in the woods, so it was no big deal. My friend bob had to poo too. He siad I dare you to climb up that tree and poo from it. I said, you too. He said ok. We were wearing shorts. I climbed up on the tree. THe took my shorts and underwear off. I hung down from the tree and pooed. Only two turds came out. We played soccer for about two hours. I had to go again, so I did the same thing. Only one turd came out. I think I held in some poop because I am not used to going this way. After dinner, I had to poo again. And I pooed after breakfast and lunch (not big poos). So I guess i held it in. I think I hold some poop in after I poo squatting int he woods because I seem to poo more often and make smaller poos when I do this.
Elena and Linda-- How are you guys, hows the baby
coming alone..is it hatched yet? Got any goo poop
struggles to share with us? -- JW
I too find it hard to poop at school evryone sees and hears everything you do.I find it even more difficult if I have a lot of farting with the poop which I have most of the time. Guys will always make some crude remark. I figure it is there problem. I find it is better to go than to hold it all day. A friend of mine will never go at school he waits until he gets home. We ride back and forth to school in my car. Most days after shool he really has to go. In the car he farts all the way home. If I held it like he does I would have logs in my under pants all the time. JS
Great posts guys and girls.Can any body post some celebrity accidents that wern't posted ever here.I hope you people have good ones.
Hi Luciane its Todd agian I saw your post to me. Luciane I also like put my white underwear in my toilet to for fun. Since you put your underwear in your toilet quit offen have you accidently flushed a pair of underwear down the toilet. How many pairs of your underwear do you put in your toilet at one time? Please reply or post soon.
lke to see & hear other guys on the bowl, at where I work, as an auto mechanic, there are three open stalls, no doors, and none of the guys are shy about crapping,often bragging of the size and length of their turds..drop me a note if ya like to hear more of my real life adventures..
I clogged my toilet today. This is unusual because I have a hot rodded Kohler performance toilet. I hadn't had a shit in three days just because I was holding it. I had a lot of mexican food, pizza, whole wheat bread, vegetables, fruit, and so on, all the ingredients of a huge bowel movement. I let out probably ten pounds of shit and wiped 17 times plus two wet wipes. I don't care if I clog the thing, I just let the load soak for a while, then plunge the hell out of it. So I'm like plunging the hell out of the brown smelly sludge and thought I had it pretty well on its way and flushed. Mistake. The bowl overflowed and I had brown water to clean up off the floor. I plunged again and the mass moved along and then cleaned the whole bathroom. I had a worse mess a while back due to an emergency enema cramp, but that was in the shower and so was no big deal. My girlfriend once clogged this toilet really bad one time - she changed tampons, dropping the old one in the toile! t along with the wrapper, inserter and a whole bunch of toilet paper cleaning her vagina plus a huge bowel movement. I plunged the hell out of it and then bought a small swing top wastebasket and trained her to use that. You have to emply it every other day otherwise it gets really smelly, just like the ones at school. One time we didn't empty those for weeks and it smelled like some one died in the girls room. A used tampon smells interesting at first but man, don't keep it around long! Oh, one more thing, Quilted NOrthern has come out with wet wipes too in addition to Kleenex Cottonelle.
DJ: I'm a 16-year-old guy and have never had a problem crapping at school. We have five doorless stalls facing the urinals so guys taking a leak can see guys on the pots. Yeah, some guys do look at you kinda funny when you're dumping in the open. Its as if they are saying how can you do this with everyone able to see you. I don't give a shit about these guys and you should also ignore them. I was raised on a farm in the Midwest and me and my buddies often crapped together in the fields. I've never felt self-conscious about crapping with other guys. Also, most guys at school don't seem to mind a bit. Often when I'm on the shitter during breaks, guys I know from class and athletics stop in front of the stall and say Hi. I also enjoy pooping and it is great to have other guys to shoot the breeze with while dumping my load. My advice: ignore any guy who looks at you funny while you're shitting.
So, what's this adventure I've mentioned a couple of times? At last, I have time to write it up for you! It took place three or four weeks ago -- dang, can it be that long? It's Easter already... Oh, well, Happy Easter everyone, consider this your treat...
With all kinds of demands on my time I almost felt guilty for taking a day off, but it was going to be the last 30-celsius day of the summer, and it was now or never if I wanted to pay another visit to my favorite beach -- the nude one!
I've visited over the last few summers, and was determined to have some wet fun like never before. My experience with a previous adventure taught me that while a 1.5L bottle of springwater was a good way to go, I had to pace my fluid intake. Especially with two cups of tea, a cup of coffee and a bowl of milky oatmeal before leaving home! On my previous visits I had been compelled to use a toilet before reaching the beach, and I was determined not to do so this time -- a tricky objective given that it takes an hour and a half on public transport (walk, train, bus, walk, the last walk being the better part of a kilometer) to get there.
The weather was perfect, warm but with a front moving up so intermittent cloud ameliorated the severity of the sun every so often. I kept nipping at my water bottle on train and bus, though I could first feel bladder pressure while waiting for the morning train, so I knew I had to be clever with the fluid balance.
Well, call it sphincters of iron if you will, or just good planning, but I managed to hold all the way, or nearly... I was utterly obsessed with the need to release my bladder to the extent that even the last walk over the cliff trail and the beautiful view of the gently curving bay meant less than it might have otherwise! When I made my way down to the carpark at the near end of the beach I steadfastly declined to use the toilet block and headed for the accessway, sat down on a boulder to switch my shoes and socks into my backpack... And could wait no more. There was no one on the near end of the beach, and a glance back showed me the carpark was deserted, so I drew my shorts and panties aside and relaxed.
I gushed down the rock instantly, developed a stream and sat there weeing into the sand on a concrete ramp for about ten seconds, letting out enough pressure to become comfortable again, then I shut off the flow. I was very pleased with myself!
It's another 500 meters to the undressing point, and as is my habit I stripped off completely when level with the sign. There were many patrons at the beach, 90% male unfortunately, though there were one or two very nice ladies too. Straight women must be in heaven on such a beach -- cough, cough, 'nuff said, I don't want to upset the moderator!
My previous record for discretely urinating at this beach was ten times, and I was determined to break that record. For an easy second shot, I simply sat down on the sand fifty yards from anybody and streamed happily between my legs for a few seconds. I can still scarcely believe how easy it can be to do this, all the old ghosts of avoidant paruresis are far away when the sun is shining on my bare skin, the waves are lapping gently ... and I'm full to bursting!
I got up and walked on, and at one point just stood and weed casually, some hitting my leg, the rest streaming into the sand in front of my toes. (Okay, on my foot!)
I found a spot and put down a towel to sunbathe, sat at the very end of it and pished in the sand again, very discretely. After working myself from head to foot with sunblock I lay around for a time, then went for a walk -- after another drink or two. I walked to the rocks at the south end of the bay, quite a way, and had a standing wee into the water, facing out to sea. It was getting hot by this time, and there was less privacy-of-distance but I managed okay.
My sixth was another off-the-towel job about fifteen minutes later, and I sunbathed again. Around this time I saw some other peeing, though nothing explicit or especially spectacular. A family nearby had come to spend the day, and one of their two young sons peed in the sea, just pushed his hips forward and went no-hands. I was too far away to see a stream, it was simply his pose that made obvious what he was doing.
Almost as obvious, a hundred yards away at the high side of the beach an elderly man camped by a rock was standing with hands behind his back, hips forward, and neck craned as if he was investigating with great interest the cliffs above. Good try, sir, but I can tell a guy weeing all over a rock when I see him! Hahaha!
I had hoped very much that I would see a woman (besides myself!) empty her bladder on the beach, but they were either as discrete as myself or Australian women are more reticent about it... Which would be odd, it would be the only thing they're reticent about!
For my seventh trick, I lay on my left side, opened my lips with my fingers and went right there (while watching the older guy with a kind of bemused interest). Some ran across my hip and my towel got wet, but after I was started I did a nice little arc onto the sand. I enjoyed it so much that about two minutes later I went again, just a bit more, and considered that one #7a...
I did some more off the towel-end shots for the next few, then I relocated to a new sunbathing position as time was getting along and I didn't want to miss my bus. While walking I stopped, stared out to sea and, #10, I did a casual stream between my feet again. The fact is that in bright sunlight conditions, at a distance of more than twenty meters or so a stream can be hard to see, so if your pose is relaxed, you may get away without being noticed!
In my new sunbathing position, my last off-the-towel pee (#11) was one of my most daring, as this area was more patronized. With folks only maybe five meters to each side of me, I was able, with a little concentration, to free off and let my water flow, something I could not do last year. I was very happy with my progress toward the final defeat of anxiety associated with peeing!
It was coming time to be on my way, and I had one last adventure to embark upon. The gullies at the head of the beach are often used as public latrines, one sees people go in and out of them at times, and I stayed clear of one where it seemed a man had been keeping watch for ages. Not using it, just hanging around -- probably a perv, avoid like the plague, or at least that's the blanket safe option.
I used the next gully, the same one I used in my first year out there. The sand can be blisteringly hot up that way, so I put my shoes on to walk up into the defile. Bushes at the mouth screen the view from the beach at least a bit, and I stayed low in the gully. I stepped down with one foot into the deepest washaway channel and, without spreading or aiming manually, just relaxed and let my bladder empty completely. I had no idea there was so much left, I released a heavy stream that splattered into the sand, weeing and weeing for ages. When I was empty I did not dry right away, but went to some soft sand and scraped out a shallow hole...
I had been wanting to try something new, and this was my opportunity. I sank down in a deep squat with my backside pointed at the hole, relaxed and did my very best to have a poo as well. I was hoping it would be my very first proper relief in the great outdoors. I looked up at daylight filling the gully, listened to the sound of the waves coming quietly to me, and tried very hard. Oh, to lay a Kim-sized XXL in these surroundings!
Unfortunately I had been so excited that morning at the prospect, that I had had to go to the toilet four times in an hour and a half, for urgent brown explosions, and I had effectively emptied my bowel. All I produced was the tiniest, most unspectacular fragment... I was embarrassed!
I had brought some tissues under my hat, and used them to wipe the tiny stain from my behind, then buried them in the hole, and with a feeling of slight anticlimax I headed for home.
Interestingly, the puddle from my first wee at the ramp was still there, a soaked patch of sand, though of course the rock had dried.
I thought my bladder was effectively empty, but as it happened I had one last interesting wee for the day. I got the bus back into the metropolitan area and went shopping for a while before my train was due. While waiting for the train I needed to go one more time and used the bathrooms at the station.
Station bathrooms are notoriously grungy but these were in good order. The place was quiet, and perhaps to dissuade vandals the doors to both mens' and ladies' rooms were propped wide open. From the corridor one had a perfect view of the steel wall urinal! The urge to use it was almost overpowering, but I had no wish to end my day in trouble with anyone, and I went into female territory. However the stalls were visible from the door too and I left the stall door open while I eased my shorts and had a standing wee in the bowl. Whilst passing, I looked over my shoulder and could see right out into the station, and I marvelled at how a person can go from an anxiety state that demands total privacy and quiet ... to this! Okay, I had the place to myself and it was quiet too, but I could have been interrupted at any moment. That did not seem to make any difference, and after my beach exploits it was very easy to release in this context.
So, not counting #7a or the station piss, I racked up a score of 13 this time, 13 distinct urinations over the space of about 3 1/2 hours... and one attempted-poop!
Are we having fun yet?
Cheers to all,
Carmalita: Thanks for the special story and the touching internet
kiss! Chicken parmagiana, eh? I liked the fact that it wouldn't go
down the bowl, and OF COURSE tried to imagine its RICH(good word!)
aroma... Curiously, I thought of YOU, too, just a day or two before
your post, because I know you like to read about guys' big dumps,
and I knew you'd like to hear about it! It was mid-morning during a
busy work day at an inconvenient time, but I finally had to give in to the urge. My ring stretched very wide for the beginning to come out, but the rest slid out smoothly, and just kept coming... still, I
was surprised when I finished and took a look, that it had stayed in one piece... and WHAT a piece, too! Definitely among the biggest I've ever done! It was very fat at its start, but then tapered off a
little, semi-circular in shape, and I estimate 16-17 inches long!
I helped guide it down the hole even before I flushed, because I didn't want it stuck at work... Hope you enjoyed my story, and here's an internet kiss back to you: XXXXXXX!
Ring Stretcher: I enjoyed your most recent post, too! You really can put out a great load! I also liked your description of your excellent next meal, with anticipation of your next monster session... can't wait to hear about it!
Happy Easter, everyone! I'm cooking a duck with a special recipe
sausage stuffing, buttercup squash, sauteed rice, cranberry sauce... this ought to set up my wife and I for some pretty good expulsions on Monday... what are other people here doing for Easter dinner?
I recently got a great book out called "Thankyou, Goodnight" which has a collection of stories from some of the greats in the Aussie music industry, eg Gigs, on the road etc. One story is from Michael Spilby from a band called The Badloves and he says before one gig he was nervous so he went to the bathroom. He walked in and noticed something on his face, so he's standing in front of the mirror sorting that out. Suddenly he turns around and sees a women on the toilet who he says was in "mid clean up, paper in her hand". He goes on to say that they just looked at each other stunned for a bit and then he slowly walked out.