Yeah you can just call me Ben now. I only used the question marks so people would reconize my other posts. I,m going to my little brother's party at his school. Hope to have some stories. Darn almost nobody used the bathroom while I was there.
I was in the bathroom for a while because I really really had to go no.2.I think im getting better about going in a public bathroom. I just couldn't do it until I found this page.
Me again. I was just reading some old post when I found some about Port-a-potties. I sort of like them because they lock, you have privacy, and no one can look at you.I have a story about one.
We were at a family reunion. There was a little building and a pool. But the pool didn't open for a couple of hours. Well we ate and then we played some games. Well I was starting to feel the urge to take crap so I headed to the bathrooms. When I got there I almost puked. They were filthy. There was crap and toilet paper on the floor along with some urin. The toilet had crap all over it,and to top it all off no toilet paper. I didn't want to, but when you got to go you got to go,so I checked out the women's. They were about the same if not tha t worst. So I decide to hold it until the pool opened. I was starting to shake so I walked out of the women's bathroom and their was a port-a-potti. So I waited for the person to get out. When he did I quickly dropped my pants and let it go. It wasn't so bad. If it wouldn't have been there I would of probably of had an accident in front of my relatives that wouldn't be able to forget. When the pool finally opened we went in and had! a great time. A few months later we happened to drive by the place where we had the reunion, and they had boarded up both of the bathrooms. They were that bad. What do you think.
Wow! What a plethoric posting of huge dump Queens! I am almost speechless at the good fortune that we have in hearing from these "gifted" women, all at once yet!
Your story is VERY well narrated, and I LOVE the way your huge logs seem to be growing in girth! Your talents are incredible- a 3 1/2 by 20 inch log from such a little lady? If only I could see one of these incredible productions, I'd be happy forever! Kim, you are not only very gifted colonically , but you also have a great gift for vividly descriptive prose. Please keep up your fantastic posts!
Welcome to the forum! I LOVE your incredible stories! Until you posted here, I thought that maybe Melissa (New York) might be embellishing her descriptions. But, now that I know that there are a FEW of you EXTRAORDINARY females out there, I am totally in awe at the size of the turds you ladies produce! I sure hope that you learn to post pics someday! BTW, see if you can get your friend with "megacolon" to post about some of her "Guinness World Record" type of events. I've heard stories about people with this disorder who have actually taken 20+ pound dumps! I'm sure she'd have a totally captive audience here!
Melissa (New York),
I'm really glad to hear from you again! I'm sorry if I ever had any doubts about the size of some of the massive turds that you've taken. After reading ALANA's posts, I'll NEVER doubt your word! Your story of the workout buddy dump is just the kind of stuff that our dreams are made of! My favorite post of yours to date was the one where you didn't go for 11 days, and shat out those MASSIVE 5 by 25 logs that Joe measured! I like it a LOT when you give us the actual measurements of your wonderful creations! It really makes for vivid imagery!
Hi all! It's nice to be back to hear the Newz of the Pooz!
PV - Your knowledge of History sounds impressive. I'd
love to compare notes with you sometime.
Movies of the day:
Cross my Heart: This one is a little older but I think it is still
around. It's a comedy that has a scene in it where a
sophisticated lady has a dump before she hops in bed with
the main character.
Josepha: A french film about the life of a middle aged
woman. At one point, Josepha is in the bathtub when her
roomate comes in for a shit. She asks "Do you really have
to do that here?", a nod is her only reply.
Book of the day:
The Clan of the Cave Bear: This one is considered a classic
about a cave woman and what modern scientists believe life
was like in the stone age. The book is 1000 times better
than the movie and is full of adventure and many scenes of
her relieving herself.
As far as stories go, I'm hard-pressed to keep up
with you folks. All of your posts sound really exotic and
unusual. Nevertheless, I'll do the best I can to scrounge
around in my memory and come up with another one.
First, continuing with the sailboat theme, I have a
short one. One of the things that I have found fun to do is
tie a hammock to the boom (This is the pole that hits you in
the head when you don't pay attention). Once you tie your
hammock on, you can swing out over the water. It's really
heavenly, especially if the boat is underway. I, being one for
new and exotic ways to relieve oneself, found a new one.
Once you are out over the water, you can scooch your
behind off the edge of the hammock and start plopping
away. You get to dangle your feet the whole time. I've done
this in broad daylight before, anchored in a cove (Anyone in
a ski boat could have zoomed around the corner any
I also talked to an attractive young lady standing in
line once, and she said she had just come back from the
Bahamas. She and a couple of guys had sailed around naked
for weeks at a time. She also said she enjoyed the freedom
of unloading over the side of the boat. She said when the
boat leaned way over in the wind, she would just grab a
rope and lean back while standing up. Here she would poop
or pee as the case may be. Her lovely tan said she wasn't
lying and I bet they all had a great time. Getting on a
cruising yacht, by the way, is not as impossible as it may
seem. Big boats always need experienced crew and they
don't usually want to hire them if they can help it. Any yacht
club can get you the experience, then you go to Florida and
hop on some big yacht and get the time of your life,
relatively inexpensively...then you mail ol' AUSTIN some
I guess I'll have to wrap it up for this time or I'll
ramble all day. All of your posts have set my mind on fire
processing all the new information and thinking of 10,000
things I want to say to you all. So until next time, Adois!
The origins of 'Jobbie'
I am from Edinburgh and in our family we have always used the word 'jobbie' or 'bigjob' for solids and 'weewee' or 'weejob' for liquids.
I think bigjob is used outside Scotland too, but I think it tends to be used jokingly. Here we use it just normally when we need to go. I think maybe my family discuss our bodily functions more than most people, but certainly 'bigjob' and 'jobbie' are both common words in our household.
I think jobbie is maybe short for bigjob.
>So in Barbados, it is gramatically correct (if not very polite) to say "I need to jobbie".
Oh yes, we would say this. I might say to my mother, "You were a long time in the lav, were you jobbying?", though it's probably more common for us to say 'were you doing a jobbie' or 'were you going jobby'. You probably wouldn't use it in the past tense, we wouldn't say 'I jobbied yesterday', but rather 'I went (for a) jobby yesterday' or 'Have you been (for a) jobby today?'.
We can use 'bigjob' and 'weejob' as verbs too.
In fact, now that I think about it, I think my parents use 'jobby' more and my sisters and I use 'bigjob' more, but I'm not sure.
Does anyone else use 'bigjob' and 'weejob'? (I know 'weewee' is quite common, but that's not the same thing - for me 'weewee' is a child's word, whereas 'weejob' is just the normal word)
KIM - Hi! I liked your latest story. Steve and I play
pool quite a lot. He taught me and he is very good at
it. Sometimes he is a bit of an attraction because
when he plays very well he is nearly impossible to
beat. He is just one of those annoying people who are
good at everything LOL. The girl you met in the toilet
sounded like fun!
PHILLIP - I think I wee about 4 or 5 times a day. I
do drink quite a lot of water and other drinks, so
some days I wee more than that. It is hard to say.
Oh yeah, I do like to hold it for a bit before I
think of going to the toilet. I do know a lot of women
who go to the toilet straight away when they think
maybe there is just a small chance they will be able
to do a little trickle and go lots of times a day, but
I am not like that.
KENDAL - Hi girl! I will tell Steve to write! He will not
get to write until around Monday.
PV - Hi!!! We are both going away to have a little break
this weekend and I will be going out in a minute. I will
write a proper letter when we come back next week.
Another hot new picture!!
This morning i was at work and i was really busy and i got an urge to shit pretty suddenly. I did have a slight urge right before work but that went away. Then i was able to hold it till break time and it pretty much went away....UNTILL I started eating and it came right back and it was really strong. I didn't eat all of my breakfast. I had to rush to the bathroom and it seemed really mushy and soft still. I wiped like 10 times with that cheap work toilet paper. And i flushed and by the time i was done, my break was over.
Hey no problem. Just wanted to make you feel welcome and comfy here.
Hey no growling ok? Wlel okay you may start growling after what I say next. KENDAL'S DAD?!?! I WANNA HEAR MORE LITTLE KENDAL STORIES TO!!!Hee hee.
Lawn Dogs Kid
Hee hee. Don't get randy on my boy. What's a gal have to do to get you come in?!??! Geez when I say I HAVE to go.... I HAVE to go..so bring the comb.[hands him an ENGRAVED invite] Here's a story you might like, since you have always wanted to comb my hair while your little princess here is sitting on her throne. Anyway today fater school..I had to poop(Always after school..why?) Anyway I went and having company over, my friend Drew...we both went in as I sat down to relax and unwind..and yes to poop too. Down came my mint green pampies, pu came a my skit in the back and I sighed as I peed.Drew took to bushing my hair as I relaxed....and shattered the silence with 6 HUGE plops.(I think I should start eating more fiber...when I unload..I unload.Hee hee just like Elena) Anyway, done I got cleaned up, got dressed and I can happily say my hair has never looked beter. My so called helmet hair is a bit longer now and I love it. Hee hee.
Yes my firend I MUST tell you something. You and Lawn Dogs Kid and everyone here...we have happy news and I can't stan it any longer. Elena is going to have twins!! Isn't that great?!?! I'm so exicted and nervous..I may have to go to the "place". Hee hee.[looks at Lawn Dogs Kid] Don't make me hint twice.
P.S. I was looking at some online comics and I found one called the BunnyWorxx. There they have a comic, about where they were short one strip this month and Ebony had taken Spring Break off..but since Reality TV was big they decided to pop in and see what she was doing. Sure enough..she's on the toilet. It was so funny.
Recently I have had a couple of dreams which involve pooing and weeing.
In the first one I was on the oval of my old primary school (great days long ago!). Anyway, I was lying down and looking at a tree on the side. My Mum and some of her friends (some from real life, others made up) went to the tree and all hitched up their dresses and pants and started weeing. I rushed over there and had a close up look at them all weeing, they didn't seem to mind. One of my Mum's friends started to poo, so I had a look behind her at her anus and saw it start to open up with a tip of a large turd. Unfortunatly the dream ended.
The second dream involved Kylie Minogue doing a wee in front of me. On my front lawn (of all places!) a man said to me "You can let her do anytihng" and I gave him some money. So I walked upto Ms Minogue and said "Well, what I'd really like..." and with that she poked her bum out, pulled her knickers off and started to wee a strong golden stream.
Has anyone had dreams involving going to the toilet? If so do you have them regularly? I have the occasional one, all involving women going to the toilet.
I am vastly amused that whereas George from Scotland tries to persude males to pee sitting down in a stall, Louise urges females to pee standing up in a urinal (if available)!
Its the Scottish Tony here.
As to the origin of the word JOBBIE, I was interested to read that it has a Carribean connection. I assume this was taken there from Scotland by Scots sailors, in the 18th and 19th Century.
As a child in Glasgow in the 1950s and 60s it just seemed to be the usual word for a bowel movement. Other terms such as "shit", "shite" or "crap" being considered rude and vulgar. My Mum , Aunts, women Teachers, other kids Mums used the word Jobbie quite openly as my Mum to me when I was a kid "Have you done a jobbie Anthony?" or "You put the plates in the sink while I go to the toilet for a big jobbie". I remember that my Granny, a wee plump woman used to say, when visiting us, "Im just off to the toilet to do a big jobbie" She certainly did! That woman produced some lovely big fat whoppers, all fat and knobbly, as, like many old women she tended to be a bit constipated and had two really big motions a week. Like her daughter, my Mum, she was quite open about such matters and often the following conversation would take place after she came out of our toilet following a good motion.
Gran "Oh that's better! I hadn't been for 3 days"
Mum "You had a good motion then?"
Gran "Oh yes. I did some wee hard balls then two really big jobbies"
You can imagine the effects of listening to this conversation as a boy of 8 or 9 and I would go to the toilet and have a look as often her big turds would have stayed in the pan as our toilet had a weak flush and usually needed more than one pull to clear the pan. Everyone used the word "jobbie" although sometimes adults would say to "go for a MOTION" . Again my Mum would sometimes use that expression thus, "Im needing a motion, I might be in the toilet for a good few minutes so you look out for the Mobile Shop when he stops outside". As you say Hiker, the word jobbie really took off in England when Billy Connolly used it in his comic monologues and songs in the 1970s. I remember then an English girl cousin visiting and being bemused by my Mum's question to her after a few days, when she had been a bit constipated owing to the change of water and routine. "Nancy, have you had a jobbie yet?" I explained that this meant a motion. Nancy used the expressions, "Number two" or ! "Poo" but did also say "Big Job". For the record she did do a couple of "big jobs" when she did have a motion after 3 days, I saw them. I suppose the derivation comes from a "job" being something one does, hence "big job" and of course "jobbie". Nowadays this word seems to have taken root in most of Britain. I even had the pleasure a few years ago of meeting a Danish Girl who was visiting, and after having passed a very substantial "panbuster" turd she explained, "I have just done, how you say, a "jobbie" in your toilet and it wont go away!"
JW, I agree that women's anatomy etc tends to make them pass larger jobbies and have a propensity to constipation. Most of the women I have known well enough to have such knowledge of such personal matters have had this tendency. The monthly menstrual cycle is a contributory factor as it seems to alter the pattern of the bowels actions, causes congestion etc and my Mum, when I was a kid, my long time mate George's wife Moira, and according to him his aunt Helen and his two girl cousins, and my own wife Theresa get a bit bunged up at the wrong time of the month. Also after childbirth some women find they lose muscle tone in the abdomen and tend to constipation. My Aunt Eileen, one of my Mum's sisters had 6 kids (a good Irish Catholic), and she was an Olympian crapper, passing a load of hard balls then 2 or 3 long fat solid logs in her weekly sessions, even my Mum used to comment, I feel with a note of envy, about her young sister's big motions. Many women do need a "manual! " if bunged up. My Mum used to insert some vaseline (alone in thr toilet of course) into her back passage if she had a really difficult hard jobbie to pass and this always achieved a result. It also worked for me when I was a kid and similarly bunged up. I have used this and KY jelly for Theresa when she has been constipated, gently inserting the lubricant into her rectum, Getting her to hold in as long as possible while I rub and push her ???? then she passes the hard lumps followed usually by one or two long fat jobbies. Once she did insert the lubricant and, as nothing had happened, pulled up her panties and came off the pan. Big mistake! A few minutes later she suddenly got up off the chair and went "OH NO!" and it slid out into the seat of her knickers making a huge bulge in the white cotton. Luckily being at home I just led her into the toilet where she stepped out of her loaded knickers, sat on the pan, did another big log then had a shower. Now if using this relief s! he remains sitting on the pan until her jobbies come out. Many men assist their wives or girlfriends in this intimate matter, George I know does this for Moira when she needs it. Any other women out there have a helping hand from their hubby or boyfriend ?
Hi, sociable shitters everywhere!
PLUNGING PLOP GUY: Yeah, thanks, I realised it was me you were replying to. And I'm sorry, the last time I was writing I meant to sympathise with you on the trouble you have had recently, I'm glad in your most recent post that you were feeling a bit better. I'm afraid I'm not the right one to give you any good advice. I'm hardly ever constipated, in my case it seems plenty of fruit and vegetables and high fibre cereals avoid any problems. But I think I'm just lucky that way, obviously for you diet is not enough to prevent trouble. I agree with you too that, for various reasons, there are times when I want to shit in private, even though most of the time some company would be fun. I want to say as well that I was not being homophobic either, in what I wrote before. I am actually very liberal and tolerant. I just think it's a shame that social attitudes in many countries are still such that gays feel they have to look for sex in public toilets. After all, what they are ! looking for has nothing to do with toilets. If they could all find what they want in gay clubs and other places, then loitering in toilets could be left to those who actually have a toilet-related reason for spending more time there than is strictly necessary. Anyway I really appreciate your responses to my messages. There is a bond between us, even if it is a very limited, anonymous one over the internet. But it would be nice to share something real with you, like sitting side by side grunting and plopping in one of those open plan toilets that some American guys have described from colleges, beaches and campgrounds, confident in the knowledge that we were both enjoying ourselves.
Thre have been some other good posts in the last week too, especially from Donnie, Rizzo, Buzzy and Jordan. Thanks all of you. BUZZY: you are one of the great stalwarts of this site, sharing your experiences. I hope you meet the guy in your gym again, and that you have more experiences you can share with us. Maybe you will become friends, and get a chance to shit in the woods together. JORDAN: Obviously your fraternity brothers are very natural about shitting in front of each other. But have you had a chance to find out if any of them actually enjoy the experience like you do? And RIZZO: Your description of the open air latrine when you were in the army was fantastic. It's pretty close to my ultimate shitting fantasy: out in the open air, with a good view around, and with a mate beside you, the two of you chatting as you overcome your inhibitions about being exposed to view, and start crapping together.
Of course what is fun for some would be misery for others. I'm going to finish this message back on my theme I posted about before, of descriptions from books. This is from a travel book, "In Trouble Again", by Redmond O'Hanlon. In this passage, the narrator is camped on a river-bank in the Venezuelan jungle with his companions. "I ..... steeled myself for the first personal trauma of the day. In my own utopia I would elect to shit only in a lead-lined chamber half-a-mile underground, safe from enemy radar. Shitting two yards from Simon and five yards from Chimo was, I found, difficult. I hung on to a sapling with one hand, switched off my torch. took down my trousers and squatted over the black, swirling water. 'Don't look,' I said. 'Who's interested?' said Simon, leaning out of his hammock and pointing his torch straight at me. 'Push!' yelled Chimo. 'Bit runny today,' said Simon."
Hope some of you liked that, guys. Cheers, Declan.
Plunging Plop Guy
No significant improvements to report yet about my troubles on the toilet, so won't go into any details yet, except to say less pain today, and perhaps some of the turds might have been a little easier to push, but it's all so sluggish! Got well splashed again so some compensations!
JACOB G. Acid reflux sounds horrible, but I've not got that, thankfully.
I like the idea of all that grunting in the stalls you heard! Have you sometimes heard a guy drop a loud plop and his mate says "Was that you?" I've sometimes been between two friends in adjoining toilets and one hears the other's turd drop and I'm there in the middle wishing I'd just dropped an almighty plop so I can say it was mine!
JORDAN, That bathroom you described with six of you all shitting with no inhibitions as others were in there at the same time sounds terrific. Did you ever see a guy who wanted to piss as another was on the toilet and he pissed between his legs as he was plopping!
I'd love to get my arse splashed dropping my turds after that-real male bonding that must be!!
Look after yourselves and enjoy yourselves on the toilet as I am DETERMINED to do when I'm ok again!! P P G
Here's a couple of true stories I was told by different people and I believe them to be true, although the second one might be a modern urban myth, but I think ANNE the bus driver will enjoy them!
I was with some friends once and we were talking to a youngish man who had been a bus conductor in the Leeds area.
He told us of an experience that occurred to two of his colleagues, a driver and conductor on a bus to Leeds one morning.
During the journey, the driver stopped at a stop and went to the public toilets. After a while when the passengers were starting to get rather agitated and impatient, the conducor decided to check on his mate in the toilet, who was still in the cubicle and said that there was no toilet paper in there and that he'd had a really loose shit and was far too dirty to pull up his trousers without a really good wipe.
His mate looked round for some TP and even paper towels but as there weren't either, joked that the only paper he'd got was the tickets in his machine. The driver took him up on it and asked him to hand him the ticket machine while the conductor went back to the bus to try and calm the passengers who were near to rioting with the delay!
The driver, not realising how to open up the machine to pull out the ticket roll and try and wipe himself with that; Stood there in the cubicle issuing tickets to himself to wipe his arse and getting his hands dirty in the process. The machine also was getting quite contaminated until satisfied he'd cleaned himself up as best as he could, flushed and tried to clean the ticket machine by rinsing it under the tap.
He went back to the bus, handing a wet and rather smelly machine back to his mate, who later that morning had to hand the machine in as it had stopped working.
A few days later, the machine was returned to the conductor with an analysis of what the contaminating substances in the machine were and " Did he know how it could have got in that state?"
A friend once told me he'd read a report in the local paper of a coach travelling from London to Newcastle in which a young man went to the toilet at the rear of the coach.
During the journey; the driver had to break very sharp, so much so that the young man who was sitting on the toilet was thrown forward against the toilet door which with his weight on it flew open with the guy landing on the floor of the aisle with passengers either side of him as he lay face down with his trousers at his heels and his bare arse on show.
He got up unhurt and quickly returned to the toilet, locked himself in again, and was never seen again until the coach had arrived in Newcastle and he could emerge with no-one seeing him, so great must have been his embarrassment!
Whether he was in the act of pushing one out at the time I don't know but that certainly could have been a great spectacle or terrible embarrassment for him!
At least the other passengers were probably all strangers, but how's that as a way of trying to overcome shyness!!
Saturday, March 31, 2001
Hi, this is my first post, and I was wondering if anyone had special places in the house that they peed or pooped in or on during childhood, or any interesting ways they went. I have some stories to share, and will exhange with others. BTW, I'm a 12 year old girl, blonde hair, brown eyes, 5'0 and 105 pounds.
Also, did anyone ever pee or poop on floors or carpets when they were kids?
Can any of you tell that someone has to pee even if thay are not doing the pee pee dance or holding them self.I offen can.
I recall when I was about six years old I was walking tru a apartment complex When I saw a girl my age playing. I hid behind a tree,she stood completely still for a while then peed.I could see the stream come from under her dress. her ran inside crying I heard
her mother say she was drinking to much pepsi. I don't know how I know she would pee.
A few months ago I was about to walk into the mall.A boy walk slowly
out of the mall just as I was About to enter.I said to my self this boy has to pee.just then the boy went into the bush by the mall door
and peed. I don't know how I know.
The origins of 'Jobbie'
Althea: I was interested to hear that your cousin from the Carribean used the word 'jobbie'. I always thought that word originated in Scotland. In England, few people knew what it meant before it was made popular by the 'jobbie humour' of the Scots TV comedian Billy Connolly. There was also a 1980s Scots punk rock group 'The Skids', who were originally called 'The skids on the dog's jobbie'.
I checked some large dictionaries in a library including a dictionary of English slang and a dictionary of Scots words but the only one that listed 'jobbie' was the Oxford Dictionary of Carribean English Usage:
"jobbie (1) noun, Barbados, (anti-formal, jocular), an infant's bowel motion (especially if on the floor).
jobbie (2) verb, Barbados. To defecate"
So in Barbados, it is gramatically correct (if not very polite) to say "I need to jobbie".
Most Scots dialect words seem to be derived from the Scots Gaelic language. Can any Gaelic speakers explain the origin of 'jobbie'?
SARA T - Hi! You wrote you half filled a Snapple
bottle. I do not know what a Snapple bottle is so
how big is that?
PV - Hi again! Part 2 of my letter!
LOL I do not know if the netball team will be having
a weeing contest monthly but it is an idea! The latest
game is standing and weeing into the drain in the
shower, so there is a bit of aiming. Oh and it has to
be without using fingers to aim, so it is hip tilts
and stuff like that to change where it lands.
You do get some weather extremes in Australia don't you?
Is there still the problems with the floods? Funny how
it can be so hot there and then turn icy cold like that.
I see why you have had to put your warm pants on if it
has been like that. I have not weed over pants like that
too much, I have been trying to do it through the zipper
of my jeans but I have been having trouble. My fingers
slipped last night and I wet my jeans through. It was
good that I was standing in the bath at home! I have done
it like you did with your pants though, it is not hard
to do and it is fun.
I have not been in the gents' again this week. I had a
look but there were a few more guys using the room and I
did not want to go and stand next to them LOL Maybe it
would have been a nice surprise for some guy but I am
not that brave and it was at work so ... I do not really
want to be called that blonde who pees in the gents'. LOL
It is a shame that shot of the girl at the urinal has
gone so quickly because I liked it. Steve did not get to
see it unluckily for him, I bet he would have liked it.
I bet those women Steve had that meeting with would have
soon learned how to use the urinal they had if there were
no useable cubicles in their toilets. That is what makes
me mad because it keeps us all back.
I was standing on line at the Post Office yesterday. The woman in front of me suddenly farted! It was extremely loud and echoed around the room! Some people laughed! The woman was in her 40s and was wearing a busines suit. She didn't even look embarrassed!
Ben also known as ???????????
Thanks to Linda Gs and Pooper Dooper.
I have story. It happened a few months ago. We were in study hall at the time. This girl courtny had to pee really bad.I know because I sat next to her. Well she kept asking the teacher to use the "Rest Roo." But the teacher wouldn't let her go because she didn't go during the 4 minute break. Well 10 minutes went by and she still had to go. By now she was preaty much begging her to go. The teacher then started joking about how there was going to be a puddle next to me. She was joking because are class jokes a lot. Well then she asked me jokaly if we should let her go. And I casully said yes. Well she let her go but she had to stay there for 2 minutes after the bell. She ran out of that room aas fast as she could. Good thing the bathroom was just down the hall.Because if it hapened to be that close I don't know if she would of made it. I think I made the right choice by saying yes. What do you think.
Its way, way past my bed-time ! But I had to write about this. I'll tell you what it is in a few minutes when I've had a chance to answer some posts.
GEMI: 2 good logs and a little ball, hey ? Snap ! Thats exactly what I had this evening, except the little ball came first ! Andrew particularly enjoyed the little ball which made a jolly good plop. Don't remind me about the caretaker ! It still sends shivers of excitement down my spine about how he could have looked at me on the toilet. Love from Kendal x
STEVE: Wow !! Louise really must love you to not be bothered about you seeing her best friend Jackie in the bath, and to watch her have a big wee in the water. You must have been thrilled ! Love from Kendal x
BEN ALSO KNOWN AS ???????????: I'll answer your post then ! I didn't laugh either. It can't have been nice to poo in the shower. I certainly wouldn't enjoy a poo anywhere other than in the toilet ! Have I got the right number of question marks after your name ? Or can we just call you Ben now ? Hope your poorly ???? is better soon. Anyway, someone else did answer you I see, my lovely friend Linda wrote you a reply. So now you've got two !
LINDA: You bad girl !! ( actually I really think it was great what you did, but I can't say so otherwise Andrew will snickersneeze me ! ) Calling Andrew "Drew" !! (Brill !!). Andrew says he's still waiting here with the brush while you decide whether the feeling you were having was a "definite", or a "not just yet" ! Hope you like the story I'll be telling in a few minutes. And I hope it doesn't make Miguel faint !! Lots of love my dear friend, from Kendal xxxx
UNCLE RIZZO: Now you're making me go red, just like Aunty PV !! You've obviously guessed that I am named after my Mum's home town in Cumbria. I suppose some people are embarrassed by funny names, but I actually love my name. Everyone always says "Oh, what a pretty name" when they hear it ! The only time I might have been embarrassed by it was when Mum took me away with her when she left my Dad. While I was living with Grannie and Grandad, it looked like I would have to go to school in Kendal. You can just imagine what the other kids would have said when they heard my name, "Kendal from Kendal, heheheheh". It was lovely to read about your travels in the Lake district, so many familiar names and places. I particularly love Ullswater, although I've never weed in it !! Grannie and Grandad have often taken me to Pooley Bridge, right at the top of Ullswater. And I agree with you about how beautiful Rydal Water is ( it has a Y not an I, do you think I'd make a good teacher ?!! ) I was very lucky one early morning when I had gone for a walk with Dad when we were camping near Ambleside. We walked to Rydal, and saw some deer wading through the water to the island in the middle of it ! I'm lucky having relatives in the lake district. But they think I'm lucky living in Devon ! Actually Uncle Rizzo, I was only in Kendal last weekend, meeting up with Mum for Mothering Sunday !! Must go now, its after 10.30, and Dad will get mad, he phoned over an hour ago to tell me and Andrew to go to bed ! He's having to stop over the night at a work conference. I should be stopping at Andrew's house, but Andrew and I managed to get Dad and Andrew's parents to agree to Andrew coming to stop with me the night here at my house. Uncle and Aunty are less than 10 minutes walk away, and just a 1 or 2 minute drive. So if we needed them, they could get here quickly. Anyway, I love it so much when Andrew and I get plenty of time alone together. We both love board games, game! of life tonight ! I got married and had 2 boys and a girl ! Andrew got married and had 2 boys and 3 girls ! He couldn't fit them all in his car, so no doubt they had to sit on each other's knees ! Speaking of which, my story tonight... Big hug Uncle Rizzo, lots of love from Kendal xxx
AUNTY PV: I think that Uncle Rizzo and Aunty PV has a lovely ring to it ! Its a pity you two can't get married, but then I think Uncle Rizzo's wife might have something to say about that ! Love from kendal xx
Now the story !! Andrew and I were just getting ready to go to bed when Dad phoned. In fact, we were just about to sit on the toilet together, and with the excitement at what we had planned together, the phone suddenly ringing made us both jump out of our skins !! What we decided to do together tonight was a sit on knees wee facing each other like Little Lou did with her brother Kev. I had to take my panties off to be able to do this, but Andrew still had his PJs on, although they were round his ankles I suppose ! Anyway, while Dad was talking to me, Andrew disappeared. After I finished talking to Dad and went to find Andrew in the bathroom again, he wasn't there. I shouted for him, and he said he would be in a second. I could hear he was in Dad's room, and when he came out and into the bathroom, I just instantly burst into tears. Andrew was wearing that huge old dressing gown of Dad's, the one Dad spoke about in his recent story. Andrew had decided that we should have ! a wee together wrapped up in that old dressing gown just like my Dad and Andrew's Mum had done all those years ago when they were kids.
Andrew sat on the toilet with his PJs round his ankles again, and then he held open the big old gown for me to walk into and then to sit and slide myself forwards on his knee. He then wrapped the gown around me and pulled me right up to him and we hugged and hugged. Neither of us began to wee at all for several minutes. We just wanted to really savour the moment. Eventually, I knew that I really did need to wee, so I told Andrew so, and began to slide back a bit so I wouldn't wee on him, but he pulled me back again and said he didn't care. He wanted us to wee together hugging just like Little Lou and Kev had done. I heard Andrew's wee begin before mine did, but I wasn't very long following, and it was truely the most wonderful experience to wee while hugging like that, and all the more so wrapped up all snug and warm in that old dressing gown that had seen it all before many years ago. In fact, I bet that old gown was pleased to be used again for such a thing, and even mor! e pleased that it wasn't being used to wipe wee up off the floor like my Dad used it for !!
Right, I'm definitely going to bed now. I've just had such a big yawn that I'm sure my mouth must have opened wider than a T-Rex dinosaur ! Andrew wants to say something now. I'll leave him to it. Night-night everybody, love from a very tired but very happy Kendal xxx
Lawn Dogs Kid
LITTLE LOU: Kendal has told the story about tonight so well, I've really nothing to add, except a very big thank you to you for giving us both the idea. I tell you what Princess, I know you were really sleepy, and don't remember much about your wee with Kev, but if it was anything like what I experienced just now with Kendal, then you would have made a Kev an extremely happy brother weeing with him. It was so very special ! Hope Kev and Ellie are getting on a bit better, and that its nice to have your Mum and Dad back home again ! Take care Princess, love and hugs from Andrew x
LINDA: Did you call me Drew ?! TRIPLE GRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!! You've given me a terrible arm-ache holding up this brush while you decide whether you need to visit "there" or not ! Typical girl, can never make their mind up !! ( winks ! ) So, Miss double digit oldie, just how long does it take you to decide if you need that big poop or not ? Well Babe, you take as long as you want. So long as the waiting to decide is done "there" so I can get on with the combing, and spend some of that quality time you spoke about a while ago !! Take care, XOXOXO ( extra XO for calling me Drew, I quite like it actually ! )
COUSIN: Did my eyes deceive me, or did you actually tell me that Elena had decided she could do with some of my combing skills as well ?!?! I've decided to take up hair-dressing as a career you know !!
KATE: As you can see from Kendal's post just now, the stakes have moved up a gear in the sit on knees drama !! Looking forward to hearing about your triple deck wee. I suspect you'll probably find it easier to try out during the Easter holidays. We are on holiday here after next Friday, a whole week before Easter. Pure luxury ! Especially as Kirsty is coming for a few days leading up to the Easter Weekend. Kendal tells me that Kirsty has told her that she wants a personal sit on knees wee with me. She just smiled and went very red when I challenged her about it at school, and then taking control of the situation she said "you might just have that pleasure, however, I've still a few other options to explore first. I'll let you know", and smirking, she sauntered off ! Hope you have a really lovely Easter holiday with Matthew and Phil, and get to have that poo off the bridge sometime as well as the triple deck wee ! Love Andrew.
Bed time, its very nearly tomorrow ! Besides, if I don't get to bed soon, and Kendal gets to sleep before me, she'll keep me awake with her snorring !!