When i was nineteen i had been going out with this guy and a month or so in to the relationship we decided to have sex and we were at his house and his family was out for the day so we had the place to ourselves (we thought)Well we were having fun up in his bedroom and after sometime had passed and my bf was fast asleep i got up to go to the bathroom
(had to do a #2)and since no one was home i didn't bother to put anything on and walked down the hall to the bathroom went in closed the door and sat down to do my business,about three minutes later as i am in mid poop the door flys open and here is my boyfriends little sister Lynn who's like sixteen half asleep and pulling down her pj's expecting to sit on the bowl and she see's me screams oh my god!and there i am in my birthdaysuit on the bowl beet red with this girl who i hardly ever spoke to stareing at me with her mouth hanging open,,,I have never been so embaresed in my life,and on top of that later on my bf tells me she could hear all the noise we had been makeing.
Had an enjoyable experience over thr weekend. My wife and I
went out with her friend Zelda for Chinese food and had a nice time.
I learned that Zelda had not had a bm that day and let her know I'd
be real interested in seeing what she did Saturday. She said it could be arranged since she wasn't scheduled to work. So on Saturday morning I brought her a cup of coffee, and we talked, read the newspaper, and relaxed for a couple of hours until she felt the urge.
When she emerged from the bathroom, she let me know I was "in luck" with a knowing smile. Was I ever!! At first, I thought it was an unusually thick, single, solid piece about seven or eight inches long, but upon more detailed examination found it had folded over on itself, and was in fact an incredibly long, intact single piece of
15-16 inches long! Wow! It started out quite thick, but the second half was thinner and softer... maybe about an inch wide... still, it
was much larger than I had ever seen her do before, and probably the
longest turd I've ever seen "live"... I was very impressed, and thanked her warmly for sharing with me...
Kim: I had a dream you crashed out a monster, orgasmic 19 1/2 inch log!!! Maybe(I hope!) this was a premonition? Stock up on that fiber, girl, and let your fans know if this does happen... or if you have any other fun experiences! Thanks!
I have told you how Suzanne shits with me every day - but it wasn't always like that. When I first knew her we used to work together. We started a relationship and I couldn't believe how she hardly ever seemed to poo. Well it transpired that she only went every 3-4 days. She would hold it for days until it became really urgent and then she used to go. This meant that when we went away she would never go. We were lucky enough to go away regulary on work, but she always seemed to manage to hold it when she was away. On one occassion we had to go abroad for four days and I was sure this would be my chance. After about two days she seemed to need to go, and ofetn let out a silent but smelly fart. We went to a meeting one morning and it was clear that she was getting to the point of having to have a good dump. At coffee time she went into the ladies and I thought that I had missed it, but it was obviously too crowded with people she knew to go.
By this time I couldnt bare to miss it so I suggested thet we go back to the hotel to get something. When there I had a dump to try to encourage her to think that it was normal. Whilst I was in there she put the TV on loud. As soon as I came out she went in - the first thing I heard was her putting lots of paper down the toilet to stop the noise. I listened hard against the door but heard nothing. When she came out 3 mins later I went in whilst she was washing her hands. The smell was so strong and the toilet ( a wide bowl type) proudly displayed about 5 really big parallel skid marks. All the sides also were marked even above the water. I asked if she had had a good crap and she wouldnt admit that she had been!
It was the first of many wonderful shits. But how did we get from her being so embarrased to her never going without me. Next time I will post our first shit together.
I also have heard many girls go at work - I even now get reports from Suzannn who will listen for me.
Are there any girls out there who prefer to shit at work than at home?
Girls - tell me how often you go and what your normal time is.
Looking forward to your responses
Okay, at long last, here's that reply I've been promising for ages. It's a looong one!
On your Spain trip: the escapades at the pool raised an eyebrow for me. If that family you watched using the bushes were rather self-conscious about it, I rather wonder they didn't do it in the pool! That's what the chlorine is for, after all -- no matter what the signs say, the public will sooner or later pee in the pool. Still, it made for a delightful spectator sport, and it reminds me of a tale I often mention, a story of a French family who pulled in at a rest stop or village, and their two sons and daughter weed on a hedge as if it were a urinal, all together, standing and without any self consciousness, completely openly with others around. What a difference in approach to the Spanish family!
You managed four feet? Good on ya, grrl! Yes, it must have been a surprise for them to see a girl performing "from the hip" if they had no idea it was possible. Maybe it inspired the other girls to have a go in the shower at home, and start to wonder about the mysterious joys of "signing" walls! I bet you and Steve were a sight to behold, watering the bush!
Yes, Iceland... At the Olympics here in Aus there was an Icelandic girl, a big blond Amazon in the track and field events, and I wondered a bit if she was a "stand-up" girl. I confess I wondered what the locker room celebrations were like quite a bit!
On to your next message...
I know what you mean about getting creative when there's no one about. I've weed in the bath at times, it makes a good shooting gallery for practicing distance and the sound effects are great. And I always wee on the bathroom floor before I shower these days, it's become a habit. I lean to start the taps and in that position I'm right over the floor drain, so I let it out right there! But I hold some back and usually go again while washing my hair. Huh, it's fun! And I do the sink a lot at night too.
I envy your bathroom relationship with your family, it's so wonderful to be so open. You're a lucky lady, you know that?
How's the locker room pishing coming? Any more delightful wizzers on the floor, or team events?
I know what you mean about enjoying going outside while in your best things. It's like the well-dressed lady is a different animal to one that would imagine weeing as nature intended us to, but you can bridge the two entities easily. Also, in terms of "getting away with it," if you're just missed by a potential observer, a well-dressed woman who carries herself properly would likely not be associated with the evidence, be it a puddle or a wet wall, or even a poop. Would I have felt differently about weeing in the tunnel if I had been more formally dressed? Well, simply lifting my skirt would have perhaps been easier than going in jeans, and to walk out with the sound of good shoes might have "distanced" me from the act... I dunno. It was scary because I was utterly compelled to urinate then and there, and because I had no wish to be deemed a public offender.
I've done a few fairly major poos in the last couple of weeks, ten-inchers on a couple of occasions, and a few smaller ones that have hit like depth charges. Not quite in the category of your alley escapade, but quite satisfactory productions.
Your Spain beach experiences were delicious. It sounds like LOTS of couples are into "water sports" and take great pleasure in sharing in the great outdoors. I know just what you mean about waiting for another's lead before being able to commit to, eg. having a wee on the beach, certainly a completely open one. It's amazing how many older women have no inhibitions at all, and the lady who "got you going" is a case in point. I saw several very nice middle-aged ladies at the nude beach last year, delightfully figured and entirely open, though I wasn't lucky enough to see any of them have a wee. I find myself wondering what fun your mom would get up to? Why not take her and your sis on a family holiday to Studland Beach next summer? I'm sure you'd have some fabulous stories to tell! Darn, you inspire me, I can't wait for the chance to get out by the sea! Indeed, your amazing half-bending poo in the sea must have been a heck of an experience, and I'd love to do something even ! a quarter that exciting. A foot long brown tail in the light of the sun? The mind boggles, as I'm sure Steve's eyes did!
Oh-ho-ho! You did a gents in Spain too! That's my girl! I can visualise you, bikini with matching mini and hair scrunchie is a popular outfit in Aus too. Skirt up, bikini panty aside, and fire from the hip... Poetry. I once chased the chemical tablets around a urinal too! You didn't have to aim? Sounds like one of those at just the right height, cupped well forward, so easy you'd swear they were designed for female use.
High-pressure rock washing! I love it! Reminds me of when I sat on a rock by the water's edge and let it flow, combined with when I went up into the gully and pissed standing... Ohhhh, so you spent the next two hours giving Steve a workout, eh? Let's settle for calling it "Wing Chun" so we don't upset the moderator! But ohhhhhh, what I'd give for an experience like that!
I hope Steve's getting some rest and not working too hard -- it takes the fun out of a holiday when you have to work so hard to catch up when you're back. Hmmm, your morning ablutions sound romantic indeed!
(Just weed in the sink, dang but this is a long letter...) Next...
Creative Peeing 101 -- mirrors and the great outdoors, what could be better? Well, a few things! But there's always fun to be had. Keep up the great work, darling, and I'm dying to hear your latest adventures -- you and Steve both.
Let loose a deluge,
I just read your post about your holiday constipation. You have my sympathies! I suffered a lot from constipation when I was just pre-teen, and it was no fun. Your mom was quite right, though, a suppository popped up your bum is a great help.
Suppositories did the trick for me when I was a kid, over quite a while I had bowel problems, and I got quite used to the feel of my mom parting my cheeks with one hand and slipping a suppository way up inside me with the other. When it was safely inside she'd give me a pat on my bottom to say 'good girl.' I used to lie face down on my bed to receive it.
Also my bottom used to get very sore in those days, what with all the needing to go, straining to move some big pieces, the scouring nature of diarhoea resulting from too much medication and so forth, and my mom often used to put a soothing ointment on for me after I went. I'd bend over with my panties down, in the bathroom usually, but in the lounge too plenty of times, and it felt like heaven to have the cool cream smoothed onto my hot, sore anus.
If a suppository hadn't worked the magic for you, your mom would have been well advised to try another, but if two or three hadn't opened your bowels an enema would have been the answer. There's nothing to worry about with an enema, I promise, and though it's perhaps an embarressing procedure it's much preferable to struggling with awful constipation.
You're right, an experience like this certainly convinces you to think ahead. As a rule of thumb, if you normally poo every day, and if you miss opening your bowels for a second day, ask your mom to do the honors with a suppository, and ask her to do your bottom with some cool ointment afterward. It's safe, and it's not unpleasant by any means. You're also a lucky young lady to have a mom who knows just the right thing to do, and takes an active approach.
I hope you enjoyed my reminiscences here, and that you post again with any adventures you have.
I heard another toilet joke...
Q: What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet in the captains bathroom?
A: A Captains Log
To water 101: I liked your story how your friend was dared to drink all that water and not use the bathroom till after 10th period....that must suck that your friend had an accident, i would feel bad too if i were you.
To Brenda: I liked your story about getting a suppository and holding your BM while away. But i must ask you something, aren't you a little old to be given a suppository by your Mom?? If i was given a suppository by my mom i would feel embarassed(im 2 years older then you). Did you feel embarassed?
And also about your 2nd part...that book you just mentioned reminds me of another book that i read by an author called Gary Paulsen.I forget what this was called...if i heard it i would know it. A single engine plan crashes into the mountains and there are people aboard and i belive the one guy dies and the boy survives. The boy survives by eating some sorta berries that causes him to have diahreah. Any one else read this?
To Midnight Cowboy: I like all your stories soo far!! Especialy the barium enema x-ray one and the urologist one.
Tonight after dinner i had to shit, i sorta had mild cramps that weren't too bad. i sat down and pushed a load out. it was all mushy and sorta tinted a reddish brown color, i wiped alot.
I too love suppositories! Thanks for the great story! Sounds like your mom gave you a Dulcolax suppository. Did you find that it melted completely and caused you to make wet, bubbly farts? My first introduction to them was in the Dr's office when I was young and the glycerine that my mom gave me did not take effect. I will never forget the nurse that gave it to me and stayed in the bathroom with me at the beginning of my expulsion. I was very embarrased but she smiled at me and said, "thats allright, I was expecting that" I guess that event solidified my interest in suppositories. I forgot about the Dulcolax supps until I re-discovered them in college. As I rediscovered those noisey, wet farts, and the relentless urges and pushing that the suppositiry was causing as it was having its way with me, brought back that long forgotton memory of that Dr's visit of my youth.
LILI - Hehe I think the guys hold their cocks when
peeing nude so not to splash their feet. Steve takes
his foreskin back a little bit with his fingers so he
can pee a real stream and he doesn't spray to the
right. I've seen him do it without when we have been
in the bath together and it is fun to watch, but of
course he needs to pull the foreskin back most of the
time to avoid soaking himself. Hehe.
LISA - Hi!!! Yes, of course I remember your co-worker
and how he peed in the bushes. It must have been fun
to see him going from the side like that.
How unlucky it is that you didn't want to have a wee
yourself at the time! Maybe next time you will be
more lucky. Given time you will crack it! Hope you
enjoyed your pee!
KIM & SCOTT - Hi there!!! Yes, when Steve saw the girl
on the top of the page, for a quick second he wondered
if I had sent my picture in!!! No, she looks a little
bit like me because she has long blonde hair but she
is a little bit smaller build I think. Oh yes, there
are more stories and things to write but we are both
real busy until next week.
PV - Oh I hope things are not too bad for you! We were
wondering if you had gone to Sydney to take part in
some event that they could not broadcast on television!!!
If so I was wondering why I would not have been sent to
be on the British team!!! Hehe.
JEFF (LIKES GIRLS PEEING) - My friend PV wrote here and
told you about me. Yeah, there are a lot of things I
have written about here when I have been standing for a
piss alone, with my boyfriend Steve or with my mum or
my friends. I have more stories to write about but I
have lots of old letters here that you can read. Look at
them and see what you think! Hehe.
Anne (the bus driver). I enjoyed your latest post enormously. Getting that milk bottle shaped jobbie out must have been a struggle and I bet you felt a bit tender afterwards. Judging from what you said, it sounds as though you were a bit constipated and the journey had 'packed' you a bit. So far as the way you dealt with the embarrassed young man is concerned, I think you did exactly the right thing. It's come across in other posts that you are a very kind person and the way you handled his situation clearly demonstrates this. Although I'm not a Baptist, I am a Christian and I can identify with the young man's anxieties up to a point. My own view however, is that having an interest in something which everyone's an expert at, from the Queen downwards, isn't wrong or sinful in itself. What is wrong, at least in my view, is invading another person's space or taking their dignity from them by prying. Maybe this was what lay at the root of his anxiety. I see nothing wrong! though in the mutual enjoyment of something so long as both parties have given and received consent and are of competent age etc to do so.
With regard to your comment about urinals I'm afriad we must agree to differ though. I'm only a thirtysomething but I much prefer to use urinals to cubicles and I can understand why lots of other men prefer to do so. My aim isn't always perfect and I do prefer to stand rather than sit unless I need a motion.
Hello everyone! The first thing I would like to say to you all is a big "Thanks" and an even bigger hug - You have at last lifted my spirits and my long term guilt about enjoying toilet fuctions.
My name is Rosie and I am a 31 year old Bank teller living in Newcastle, UK. I am very happily married to James who is my "toyboy" at 29yrs old!! As I have said, I have always had a fondness for emptying my bowels and also urinating although I have felt like I was some kind of freak for enjoying these things. My guilt probably goes back to my Granny, who brought me up when my Mum was unwell to look after me. She was very old fashioned and I was too be honest, scared stiff of her, although I knew she had my best interests at heart. It was my Granny who toilet trained me and I will always remember the telling off I got when I was about 7 and I found out that rubbing around my anal and vaginal area was nice - not really masturbation, but the early stages of that interest. She really scolded me when she caught me touching my anus and shouted at me that it was a very "dirty" place. She also placed great emphassis on making sure I wiped front to back after I had pooped - thi! s ofcourse was a good point as it avoids infections.
I was lucky enough to be brought up in the country and I became friends with a boy my same age (12 at that time). Ryan was a very outgoing boy and we would play for hours in the woods at the back of the house. Together we built a little tree house in a large tree and we happily made the most of the long summer nights. One night we were up in the hut when Ryan piped up that he needed the toilet. The hut may have been our best effort - but it was no 5 star hotel and did not have a bathroom! I said to him that he could go and use my Grannys bathroom but he said "no, its ok". Instead he started to pull down his shorts and I said "Ryan what are you doing"! He then told me he was desperate to shit (as he put it) and he said he would do it here. To say I was flabbergasted would be an understatement and especially with my strict up bringing, I was totally stunned by this.
Ryan pulled down his pants and picked up a magazine that we had in the hut. He spread the pages open and with apparently no embarrasment he squatted over the magazine. Not only was this the first time I had seen someone else doing toilet stuff, it was also the fisrt time I had seen another naked person. He was just starting puberty and he had a little mass of brown pubc hair above his penis. I was embarrased but also very curious. Ryan let out some gas and we both laughed and then this amazing sight came before me that I will never forget. I was looking at Ryan side on and I could see the poop slowly emerging from his anus and making lengths of about 6 inches before dropping off and landing on the magazine. I watched as his penis started spraying out his urine, which seemed to be going all directions in front! As he continued to drop more poops he was almost standing up holding his cheeks wide open and finally dropped his last piece of poop - in total 5 long curvy logs.! I quickly offered him a tissue from my poicket and Ryan wiped his anus, deliberatley showing me his anus in the process.
We sat for a minute in silence and then burst out laughing. He admitted that he enjoyed having a shit in front of me and asked if I need one too - well I did actually need to poop but was too scared to incase my Granny discovered. That night, we simply held the magazine out into the hair and Ryans shit fell to the wooded ground.
The next time we were playing in the tree house, Ryan again needed to poop - so he did - and so did I. I will never forget the feeling of excitement as I pulled down my panties and hovvered above a newspaper. I found it a little difficult without the support of a toilet seat, but suddenly my shit logs started to push out of my anus in front of Ryan. I too started to pee and Ryan was gettiung excited by this and was rubbing his early adulthood erection. I didnt mind the smell of my shit and the wind seemed to take away the smell anyway
This led to VERY frequent pooping and peeing episodes both in the tree house and most other places we could thing about. It was our little secret and went on until we were both 15 when Ryans parents decided to move away from the area. I often wonder if Ryan still enjoys doing his "shits" and I certainyl do, although it is now confined to solitary pooping and peeing and my fantasies with my husband (who I dont think would be into this, so I havent told him). On occasions I have spent a while in public lavatories listening to other women shiting and this usually bring me wonderful orgasms.
Through reading other stories from like minded people here, I know I am not a Freak and am not alone - xx
I have some random recollections to share. The first one is from a couple of years ago when I was in year 11 in high school. Anyway, for maths we had this middle age Italian woman, she was a real dragon. One day she's late for class and when she comes in she goes "Ok everyone lets get to it, sorry I'm late I had to go to the toilet to do a few bits and pieces". "Whoah!" I thought, too much information, not that I was complaining. Despite her unatractiveness (if there is such a word), I imagined her sitting on the toilet, dress up with many 'plops'. Another recollection from school, this time primary school, was when I was in the playground once with some mates, including two pretty girls. We were on the monkey bars talking when one of the girls pretended to piss, as she did so she went 'pssss' which I assume was to mimick the hissing sound.
One of my worst public toilet experiences was a couple of years ago when I was in a huge shopping mall. I got really excited by the thought of listening through the walls into the ladies room so I went into one of the many gents room and took the end of the two stalls. As usual I had too poo aswell so I did that. My excitement was short lived as I failed to hear anything and started to clean up. Then some guy went into the stall next to mine. What happened next was awful. In less than a minute there was the most rotten stench coming from his stall. His poo sounded very loose so I presume he was having a diarreah attack. I tried to mask myself using my sleeve but it too powerful. I quickly got myself together and got out of there quicksmart.
Off all the times I've gone into a public toilet to do some listening, I've only ever heard two women poo. The first time was in town and I had to poo so I went to the dunny's in the carpark. I pooed and listened at the same time. Just as everything was quiet I heard footsteps belonging to high heels. I heard the doors creaking open in the ladies room and the stall door (on the other side of the wall next to my stall) slam shut. A few seconds later she wee'd and that lasted probably about 15-20 seconds. Then it stayed quiet... 'plop'...'plop''plop'.....'plop'. My mind tried to comprehend with extreme excitement with what I'd just heard. I cleaned up and exited the mens room. I saw a women wearing business pants and carrying a bag. Those pants had probably just been around her legs as she sat on the toilet to do her stuff.
I have a question about floaters. I rarely have a poo that floats on the water, most of them sink. I heard once that you are healthy if your poo floats, is this true?
Sorry about the long post.
Jeff (LIKES GIRLS PEEING)
Hey everyone!!!this weekend was horible b/c i didn't get to watch my friend(whos a girl)pee!!!i was sooo mad!
Hey Lili... Really girls pee standin up??wow i would want to see that...
Hey Nicola...Thanks for that great post about u peein and poopin it was great...can u give me some more stories about u peein and describin about it comein out and how u wipe ur vagina and stuff like that...
Hey PV...i can't believe girls can pee standin!!can u decribe how girls do it for me?? and ur friends too...?
Hey girls give me a describin how u pee...like feelin the urge...and tell me how u sit on the toilet on pee..then how u ipe if u can do that for me ladies....?
STREAKS - Wonderful story! I love stories of desperate struggles on the toilet! Got any more?
BRENDA - I read 'Alive' too, and loved that scene you mention. There is another book with a great constipation scene in it - I think it's John Updike's 'The Centaur'. It's the only good scene in the entire book LOL but it was worth it - there a priest, on the toilet, desperately trying to go. He strains and struggles, and eventually the turd sticks, half way out. No amount of straining will move it. Eventually tears slide down his cheeks as he imagines having to get up and shuffle off the toilet with this knobbly impaction protruding..
Anyone else know any good books with toilet scenes in?
Just read your story about weeing and pooing on the way home. I hope that you did not traumatize the little boy on the bicycle. I am saying that not because you relieved yourself outside, but because you did the no-no in this western culture of weeing as you were standing, and getting some distance at that.
The little fellow may have always been told that women were incapable of doing that, and now he has to question other absolute issues of authority if this is wrong. If I had seen you doing that when I was younger, I probably would have been staring so hard that I would have fallen off of my bicycle with my jaw fixed open.
Of course, if I had run across you doing that now, I probably would have done the same, or tried to somehow join you in a contest for distance. It's odd that men often get drunk and "shoot" for distance in alleys or wooded areas, such as we did in the Scouts years ago, putting out cmpfires and all; but this has not yet blended into a co-ed (mixed gender) activity.
A couple of months ago I posted a story of a BM I had while working in an orthopedist's office. There was one other time when I was there and had an urgent need to poop in the afternoon. It wasn't busy at the time, so I went into the ladies room. I entered the room as two people were exiting. As I was going into a stall, I saw that the two women were carrying a conversation right at the doors of the restroom and leaving the inner door open. As I sat down, I can hear that another person had joined in on the conversation and that both doors to the ladies room were wide open. I was pushing out several large thick pieces of poop that were falling into the toilet with loud plops. I let go a huge fart that echoed throughout the restroom and was most likely audible in the hall. I proceeded to push out a wave of soft poop that caused more plopping sounds. They were still carrying their conversation at the doors. I thought about yelling at them to close the door but then I pu! shed out another soft wave of poop. I flushed the toilet while seated. Mercifully the three women finally finished their conversation.
The other person who was just coming in took the stall next to mine and started to pee. I continued to push out several pieces of poop when she suddenly said, "Were we disturbing you?" I said no, and she said, "Sorry about leaving the door open. We were discussing an urgent matter." I said it was OK. She finished, flushed her toilet and said to me "I hope you feel better." I said thanks as I continued to push out more poop. Soon I was done, and after wiping a few times, got up and saw several long thick pieces of poop at the bottom of the bowl and a few
Lawn Dogs Kid
I tried to get to post this yesterday evening, but we had a problem with our ISP. So, a day late, but very happy 12th birthday to my gorgeous girlfriend Chloe ! We had a small party at her house on Sunday pm / evening. There was actually just her Mum and Dad, myself, Kendal, and Kirsty was brought by her Mum. In fact, I went out to talk to her older sister, my friend Bev, who had come along for the ride. Kirsty had an overnight bag, and was going to school this morning from our village and staying overnight Sunday with Chloe rather than her Mum have to come and fetch her back.
Well, we were supposed to all meet at Chloe's about 3 to 3.30. I had cooked my lunch, or rather mum had prepared me something to warm up, because she and Dad have gone visiting some friends for the day. Lucky escape for me, Chloe's party. I hate visiting those particular friends who have two of the most spoilt and loathsome children you could come across !
I had got myself ready well in advance, and thought I would spend a quiet hour reading, when I heard our front door open. It was Kendal, who had decided she would like to walk with me to Chloe's. She looked an absolute picture with her brightly shining blonde hair and a lovely sky blue party dress. But before I had a chance to say "What are you doing here" ( the visit wasn't by prior arrangement ), Kendal explained all that was necessary with her first words, "Quick, I need a poo" !
This was urgent, because she raced back towards the front door and into our downstairs toilet, where we have this rule of not pooing there in our household unless in an emergency. As I calmly walked after her ( well trotted really ! ) she had that lovely dress pulled up and her panties on the way down already. Then as I got to stand in the doorway, she perched her little bottom on the toilet seat and shuffled around for comfort before ensuring her dress was well clear and held high above her ????. Her ???? clenched immediately, and I heard a succession of five barely audible flops of poo dropping into the water. She didn't exactly fart, but this whole process was punctuated with a number of splutters of air mixed in with the poo. Only at the end of that sequence did her wee begin, a steady half splattering on the front of the toilet bowl / half delicate tinkle in the water, which lasted around 20 seconds. As that dripped to an end, she made no move for the toilet roll, a! nd sure enough I watched amazed as her ???? clenched again and four silentish poos flopped downwards once more. I said to her "Oh gosh, my little princess, you really did need to go didn't you". She smiled, and said she had surprised herself already with how much poo she had made, but then went on to say "I'm sorry, I think I'll have to sit here a bit longer. My ????'s got that funny feeling where you know you haven't finished yet, but there's nothing more to come out" ! ( she makes a lot of sense ). I told her to take her time, "We've got all day, well three quarters of an hour anyway !".
She sat there and smiled as I got down on my knees and leant forward to rest my arms on the end of her legs. Having been in that position for about half a minute in total silence, just looking at each other and smiling, she told me "You know, when this happens, I just get on and wipe my bum anyway, and by the time I have got it all nice and clean, the rest of my poo is ready to come out and make it all dirty again !" I took my arms off her and said for her to try that if she felt it would work.
She had had a very easy, soft poo, easy to get out without any effort ( LINDA: she didn't need to go Ahhhhhhhh !), but not so easy in the wiping stakes. She had at least six wipes before the poo stains began to disappear, and then as she reached for more paper she paused for a couple of seconds before letting go to grab up her dress again, and without repositioning herself on the toilet, and with her legs still open and hanging down either side of the front of the toilet seat, I watched quite bemused as three long thin strips of soft poo fell out of her bottom, making no noise at all in the toilet, presumably landing on the discarded paper below. Seeing my bemused face, she apologised for the sight I'd just witnessed, but I told her not to worry. It had been very interesting and educational for me with regard to poo shapes, sizes and textures ! Kendal now knew she had finished, and just as she had said, she was back to square one with the wiping !
Watching Kendal have such an easy poo reminded me of what I was experiencing at the moment ( BRYIAN take note ! ), Although I had gone to the toilet at my usual time after breakfast for the past two days, I hadn't been able to poo. Not That I had tried hard or anything. The very odd occasion when this happens, I usually finish up going that evening instead, but yesterday evening, I hadn't been, and neither had I this morning again. Now this was rather more worrying. Constipation hasn't happened to me in years, and the worrying factor was needing to go at Chloe's this evening, and taking a long time over it ! However, watching Kendal, whether in sympathy or not, my ???? had begun to feel as if it was getting ready for a poo, so I told Kendal that, and all the above as well. She was almost jumping up and down with glee when I asked her if she would like to come with me now. I chose to go upstairs though.
Once upstairs, I took my trousers down to my ankles, and lowered my pants towards my knees. Usually I read, with the book resting between my legs on top of my pants. After sitting down like that, and beginning a nice relaxing wee, I saw Kendal's bemused face. She hadn't seen me with my pants over my knees before. The few times she's been able to watch me poo, I've put my pants down to my ankles as well, as I wouldn't be reading with her there of course. Well, I really tried for her ( Lots of Ahhhhhhhhh's and uhhhhhhh's LINDA) but to no avail, which got me more worried still really.
Anyway, in the end, time ran out, and we both of us set off for Chloe's, and by the time we got there, about the same time as Kirsty arrived, and I had had my chat with Bev, I had forgotten all about it. And we had a real good time. Kirsty looked very fetching in a light green dress, but Chloe had excelled herself, wearing the most wonderful short black number showing off her lovely legs, and matching that raven black hair of hers. My goodness, what I wouldn't give to see her use the toilet wearing that ! Toilets were needed of course all the way through the five hours or so we had together, but of course, with Chloe's Mum and Dad around, everyone went seperately, even Chloe and Kendal !
However, by eight o'clock, my ???? began to give me some sharp messages that I would soon need a poo, thank goodness ! I followed Chloe into the kitchen when she had picked up some plates and things to clear away, and explained that I would have to leave now and told her everything that Kendal knew. Chloe, wide eyed, said "No way mister, I don't want to miss out on this! ". I said we couldn't possibly go together here. She thought for several seconds, and then said she would ask her mum if we could go out for a walk for a bit.
At first her Mum said no. It was now dark, and what about her other guests, Kendal and Kirsty. It was then that Kendal intervened. LYNDA, telepathy does exist ! Kendal knew exactly what Chloe and I were planning. Or did she just tell from my face ?! Whatever, My wonderful, beautiful princess, Chloe and I really owe you one !
Kendal said it was sad that Chloe and I hadn't had an opportunity to be alone together, and besides, a breath of fresh air doesn't do anyone any harm. Also, she was more than happy to keep Kirsty entertained, and she was sure we wouldn't be long, because "Andrew has to walk me home, and he knows we'll both get into trouble if I'm late". It worked, God bless you Kendal !
Chloe and I hurried off to my house, and were there in only five minutes. My heart was certainly thumping at the thought of the imminent relief of my poo, and at the thought that Chloe would be there to share it with me.
We raced upstairs and I dropped my trousers and pants and sat down. Nothing moved, so I began to give it a gentle nudge with my ???? muscles. Still nothing. An excited Chloe wanted a commentary ! "Has it started yet ? Is it a long one ?" and then "Oh Andrew, let me see it, please, pretty please" ! I told her there was nothing there to see. She looked disappointed, but I then told her I'd let her see as soon as there was something to see.
Well, I began to strain "Uuuuuuhhhhhh", "Ahhhhhhh", "NNNNNNNNNNHHHHH". Chloe began to laugh, she couldn't help herself. She'd never seen me in a state like this before. I hadn't been in this state for years, probably primary school, so over five years ! Eventually, after at least two minutes of this, I felt my poo begin to move. My groans were replaced with heavy breathing ! "What's happening" Chloe enquired. "Nothing yet" I said. I wasn't lying. I just meant nothing to see. Then with more straining I could feel my bottom opening, .....and opening, .....and opening, .....and opening !! Now it was hurting, and I had broken into a sweat. Chloe's excitement was rapidly turning into concern with me, because I was now taking shorter, sharper breaths and making noises of pain "Ohhh", "Ahhh" ! Then the monster began to emerge just as I thought my bum was going to split ! I opened my legs and lifted my bits out of the way. "There you go", I said. Chloe looked, and then began to l! augh again. "There's nothing there !", she said. Now it was coming, it felt as though it would move fairly easily, so I decided to take a leaf out of LINDA's book, and let it come on its own, but not before giving it another big push so Chloe would be sure to see it. And see it she did ! I watched as her eyes widened in surprise, and then within a short period they seemed to glaze over with tears and she lifted her hand to her mouth taking in a sharp intake of breath. "Oh my God, Andrew.... Oh my God, it's enormous !".
It was now actually sliding out of its own accord, no pressure, nice and slow. But after only four inches, I felt the sensation of it breaking off, and there was a huge splosh and my bottom was wet, and some water even shot up between my open legs and landed on the mat in front of the toilet. Chloe and I just burst out laughing, and the pressure of laughing on my ???? began to send the rest of my poo shooting. An enormous long piece, perhaps not as wide as the first plummeted downwards with an enormous plop, that didn't splash this time. Then the rest of my poo began to race out, and somehow I couldn't contain the speed of it as it Plopped, and slipped and slopped in the water, with my lovely Chloe its only witness, still wide eyed, and still with her hand over her mouth, and still with tears in her eyes. I honestly don't know how many plops I made, but I well filled the toilet ! When I had finished, Chloe took some toilet paper. For one second, I thought she was going to! wipe me, which I didn't like the thought of at all ( we don't touch one another ). But she used it to dab her eyes dry before her make-up ran ! I wiped up and finished off getting re-dressed.
Then all my dreams came true at once, as Chloe then stood in front of the toilet, began to lift that black dress up, revealing matching black panties and lowered them, leaving them unusually high up her legs. "I only want to wee", she said. " I don't care ", I told her, "its just beautiful to see you". Her wee had been flowing no more than five seconds when she lowered her panties below her knees and let me watch her wee fall on my poos with a very splattery noise ! I watched it right to the very last drip before reality hit home and I checked my watch. 8.25pm !!
We dashed home to Chloe's, making it there about 8.31, and Kendal was ready and waiting. We were back at Kendal's at 8.38, 8 minutes late, but fortunately Aunty and Uncle were engrossed in watching a tv program, and didn't check the time. Kendal came to see me out, but before she did, I lifted her clean off the ground and gave her such a huge hug and a big kiss and thanked her so much for her help. I knew she was disappointed to miss out, and she said "You know, I do like poos now. I hope you can try again for me soon". I promised that I would, and spent all the trip home wishing I could change my habits somehow, and need to poo at tea-time like Kendal, rather than straight after breakfast when I rarely see her.
ILEO: I phoned Kendal up this morning to tell her about your post. She says she will reply just as soon as her Mum and Dad say she can use the computer again.
LINDA: Same goes for you too. She is thrilled to pieces by your replies and has wanted to swap posts with someone more her own age (10). She knew about you from some old posts that I had read and told her about, and she was determined that you and she should become friends over the internet. I can't think of a nicer girl she could have made friends with. You're a gem ! I told her you had now left a description of yourself, but that I hadn't read it because you said guys shouldn't ( I have my fingers crossed behind my back while I'm writing this by the way (!!), or perhaps not, otherwise I couldn't press the keys to type could I ?! ) Purple, hey ?
Monday, September 25, 2000
Midnight Cowboy. I dont want to sound like a nasty vicious British bitch but when I read your first paragraph to Anally Fixated Person I can fully understand why so many men, for example George and my husband and others who post here are anti urinal and prefer to use a cubicle (stall) with a lockable door. All I can say is if you get punched by an angry man who sees you leering at him when he has a pee at the next urinal and are left lying on the urine soaked floor then you have brought it on yourself! The sooner unisex toilets are brought in, as now seems to be the trend, the better in my opinion if it eliminates this type of toilet pest! We women of course dont have this problem. Now I have no concern about others seeing me pee or dump but THE CHOICE HAS TO BE MINE, (unless of course I do it outdoors when I have to accept the change of being observed by a passer by), that is I must control who does so and Im sure many men feel the same way. I know of some who will happily ! pee at a urinal with their close mates but would use a cubicle and lock the door if using a public toilet alone or where there were other strange men and Im afraid, given your comments Midnight Cowboy, I cant blame them either! Like George and Anne I welcome the abolition of the urinal with its attendant mess and nasty pissy smells. It has always struck me as a primitive idea anyway of men pissing collectively against some upright, in effect like animals scent marking their territory. The wc pan on the other hand is a far more hygenic method as if used as designed, seated, it eliminates any chance of splatter of urine onto the clothing, as Anne said it ensures full emptying of the bladder and, as George said, it totally removes the risk of the follow through accident when a man shits his underpants while he is standing to pee. This happened to my husband and convinced him of the sense of sitting to pee which he now does. Finally, the wc dilutes and if flushed after use remov! es the urine and prevents the nasty smell caused as it breaks down by bacterial and chemical reactions. I welcome the moves by places such as Bar 38 and schools such as Bramhall High in Stockport (North West England) and places of work such as Moira's office to have unisex toilets, and Anne's bus garage not to install urinals in the former ladies toilet they redesignated for the men. I think all you old timers who prefer your open to all onlookers urinals will have to buy these up and set up "piss easys" (like the speak easys of prohibition times) where if they like that sort of thing you can perhaps charge men to use them. To my mind YOU'RE WELCOME! I think Anne says it beautifully, What the hell does it matter if a man wants to pee in a cubicle with the door closed, its his choice, his privacy, so respect it!
On British TV yesterday there was a program about Glam Rock and Suzy Quattro was featured. I must say I have always liked her, both her music, of which my mum (in her forties),has many old vynil records, and her personality. I did read somewhere that she was on stage performing and needed a motion but stayed on and had a big accident in her leather trousers. Anyone known about this incident?
I played (field) hockey yesterday. Good game, then afterwards I did a nice big poo having a buddy dump with one of the other girls in the team, Jenny. As the other cubicle was occupied I went in with her and as I knew I could hold it in I let her do her motion first. Jenny pulled down her navy blue knickers and after a hissing wee wee had tinkled into the pan she passed a nice big curved sausage of about 12 inches log which made the usual "FLOOMP!" she got up off the pan and I in turn pulled my navy knicks down and dropped what could best be called a "depth charge". it was a fat knobbly turd, a big fat brown cylinder which after I had also done a loud hissing wee wee, slowly exuded from my bum as I went "NNN! UH! Jenny commented "Oh Nicky, your'e a bit constipated", and she rubbed my ????, (we're close friends of many years). Slowly this big jobbie came out then ended and plunged into the pan with a loud "KUR-SPOOL-LOOMP!" It was blunt at both ends, dark brown, knobbly ! and also about 12 inches long. I felt there was more up there but it wouldn't come down. We came out of the toilet and had our shower then when I got home I felt I had to have another motion, (in fact to finish the one I had started in the dressing rooms). With my husband I went to the toilet, and did a hard fat lump of about 6 inches long which went "KURSPLOONK!" "Is that all you're going to do?" asked my other half with evident disappointment. I then told him what I had passed at the toilet in the dressing rooms and about my buddy dump with Jenny. "Why didnt you hold it in and do it all back here?" he asked. I responded that if he wanted me ride my bicycle back for 5 miles with something that size threatening to come out into my knickers he must be joking! Thankfully, he was only talking in jest and certainly wouldn't want me to shit my panties. By the way he recently bought some retro CDs and one had the Boney M Hit "Brown Girl in the Ring" as this has the words "Show me ! a MOTION" he now says this ought to be my theme tune! Anyone know any other songs where the lyrics, title or sounds could be connected with passing a (solid) motion or having a wee wee? I can only think of the "pushbike song" which I think came out in the 1970s where there are a lot of "UH! AH!" noises supposedly the cyclist riding up a hill but which sound just like someone straining to do a big fat firm jobbie all that is missing is the "KUR-SPLOONK!" when they eventually pass the brute!
Buzzy: Thanks for enjoying my stories. I guess I'm also going through a pooping cycle where I would have larger than normal poops for a few days. I had another huge pooping session on Saturday.
The night before Gary and I attended a cookout in the neighborhood. I had plenty of food but did not feel overstuffed. I did not have a bowel movement that night, and my BM the next morning was nothing unusual. I had to do some work in the office. A couple of hours later I started to feel funny in the stomach. It wasn't long before I felt an increasing urge to poop. It was close to lunch, and it would have been a good idea to poop before getting some lunch, but I decided I could hold it in until after lunch.
I had a quick lunch at Taco Bell. Unfortunately, I was getting signals from my body that I was in for a major poop. I went to use the ladies room at the Taco Bell but all of the stalls were occupied and a couple of people were waiting in line. I rushed back to my office, fumbled with my keys to open the ladies room door, and rushed right into a stall without closing it! I pulled down my shorts and white panties and sat down. Immediately I started to push out several pieces of soft poop, one right after the other in rapid fire succession. It wasn't long before the toilet bowl was filled with poop. I flushed the toilet while seated.
The stall door was still open, and I was pooping in the open. However, no one else was coming in the ladies room, and I was still pushing out piece after piece of soft poop. I filled up the toilet bowl again and flushed the toilet. By this time the smell was incredibly strong. I got up and closed the door in my stall, then sat down and pushed a barrage of soft poop that was still coming out in pieces but more like globs rather than well-defined pieces. As soon as it filled the bowl, I flushed the toilet but kept on pushing out poop. It didn't take long to fill the bowl again, so I flushed the toilet again. I pushed out a few more pieces of poop before I was finally finished. It was especially messy at the end, so I ended up wiping several times and even had to flush the toilet to make sure the paper didn't clog the toilet. I left the ladies room with the strong smell of poop still lingering. A couple of hours later, as I left the office for the day, I made a quic! k stop in the ladies room for a pee. The poop smell from my pooping session was still lingering in the air.
I hadn't had these many major pooping sessions all year until the past couple of weeks. We'll see about the next few days.
Today i happned to come accross an artical from my local paper online and i was reading it. Well any way it was about this old staduim that a major league baseball team used to play there and it has been vaccant for a few years now they are going to tear it down but first they are selling/auctioning off any thing and every thing, here is part of the artical, i thought this was funny...but i would want to but it too i think.....
A voice from the line: "Are the urinals for sale?"
Gibbons said they were, but not until the next stadium sell-off Oct. 7-8. He
said this was hardly the first time someone had inquired after this particular
piece of the Memorial Stadium experience: "People have called us. They want
urinals, you know?"
I was thinking people eat out alot and they have favorite restaurants...I was wondering if any one here has any restaurants they go to and every time they go and eat there and hours later they get cramps and diahreha every time?? or just about every time? do they? Well i do, it seems like just about every time i eat at Pizza Hut i get severe cramps/diahreah, usally from the hot wings i think. Well I had pizza Hut last night and i woke up at midnight and i had a bit of cramping/diahreah.(not as bad as usall cause i passed the soild stuff out a few hours before while bathing). After i went i was fine after that.
I heard a joke today.....
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.
Hey all, what's up. I just got back from a camping trip, and I had a really interesting expeirence. For those who don't know I am an American Man. I knew sometime during the day I would have to poop, so at about 3 I got the feeling. And so I ventured off to find a latrine. Sure enough I found one. I went in and it was two wooden hole with toilet seats on them. So I sat down to take a dump well after about 30 secs, a girl came in, she said oh my gosh when she saw me there, but then she said i really have to crap, can I sit anyway. Of course I said yes, she sat down and it was one of those "peeing from the butt" situations. So I finished and left.
I've had 2 dumps 1 at 7:30 and the other 1 at 1:37 I've got to take another dump. Now to go find my National Geographic October 2000 to read while taking a dump.It was a nice one w/ many farts.