Pissed On
Last year I was in a local high rise office building conducting some business. When I finished, I figured I'd stop by the bathroom before starting my trip home. I gave the door a push, only to find it locked. Next door, was an attractive young lady, about 17 - 18 learning the same thing about the ladies room. Apparantly the office tenants were given a key to keep the restrooms clean and private. As we walked toward the elavator, she asked me if I knew where the nearest public bathroom was; she had to go bad. I told her it was across the street at McDonalds and that I was heading there myself. She said, I'm glad there's one close cause I'm really hurting - I gotta go, like now! It was raining pretty heavy outside. As we descended the marble steps leaving the office building, she lost her footing and started to fall. I grabbed her around the waist to try to help her and I guess the pressure on her bladder was to much and she just started pissing. As she tried to regain her foot!
ing, she knocked me off balance and I fell backwards with her on top of me still pissing. As we tried to untangle I grabbed her ass to try to lift her and felt a big soft wad in her slacks, squishing it as I lifted her. A few people had started to look but probably figured we were both so wet from rolling around on the rain soaked steps. I said I guess you didn't make it.. you pooped too didn't you. She started crying and said, "Please . Let's not talk about it: I'm so embarrassed." I said "Don't worry no one knows but us and I understand. They shouldn't lock those toilets anyway. I even pissed myself a little to. I'm soaked with your pee, mine, and rainwater. I guess we can go to my place and clean up." She was real happy about that. She couldn't bear the thought of showing up at home wearing pissy pants with a load of shit in them. We became real good friends and still get together often.
Redneck
First, for Natalie, the mean instructor who treated you badley is not a real Christian. If the instructor was a true Christian, she would have had the same attitutde like Althea when she dealt with the 10 yr old girl w/ Montezuma's revenge. Althea treated the girl with dignity and respect and allowed her to save face. The mean instructor dis-honered Christ but Althea's dignity & respect honored Christ. I am very imperfect myself but I am a Christian myself. I am getting off-tangent but I had to speak on this.
Second, Lisa's posting on farting in the elevator, same thing happened to me when I was on a business trip. The night before, our group went to dinner at an authenic Mexican place (run by Mexicans in the Mexican part of Chicago) and the next morning, I was in the elevator and had to rip one very bad and did. I got to the main floor, the door opened and stood my boss and my o-worker. It was pretty embarassing. Nothing was mentioned but I am sure they mentally noted it. Another time, at work, I was BS'ing with someone and I ripped one and didn't expect the lady to get back so soon whose area was gassed by me. I tried to stall her a little bit and it kind of worked.
buzzy
TO SANDRA-That is such a great,erotic story about you eating and dumping in the woods!!Right away a had a picture in my mind of you doing that,even though i have no idea what you look like-I'll have to try that-dumping and eating at the same time-Hmmmm,cool idea.I somtime sit on the bowl and drink my coffee and as i'm drinking,i can feel the cramps from the coffee and i just relax my anus and out it comes while i'm still drinking my coffee,but i'll have to try doing what you did in the woods-as soon as the weather here clears up!Great story,i loved it!That would be cool to do with a friend along side you !More stuff!
Had an unexpected pleasure yesterday a.m-Was at the gym and was getting ready to do my routines when i felt a slight urge to poop,so i went to the toilets and went in and sat down and decided to just sit there and wait for the urge to get stronger,then without warning a turd came out my anus almost on it's own and it was about halfway out when i felt a strong cramp and without pushing at all,this turd seemed to go on and on into the bowl and then my anus exploded with a lot of soft shit with a wet long fart and the funny thing was that i didn't feel like i had to go that much and when i turned around and looked in the bowl,i saw a smooth turd about 10" long and at the end of it you could see how it got softer and then a lot of mush-one side of the turd was pretty hard and the other side was all this pile of mush and i didn't even push!! so i sat ther for a bit more and let out a small hissy fart and sat back against the back of the bowl and opened my legs just in time to s!
ee a lot of pudding-poo come out pretty fast and then i farted again and sprayed the bowl with some real soft shit,but the funny thing was i didn't feel like i had to go this much-that was the unexpected pleasure-has this happened to any of you guys?I can almost count the times this has happened to me! Also the whole time i'm sitting there doing this i didn't share it with anyone-there was one guy who came in to poo,but he just sat on the bowl and i didn't hear anything from him-mine was pretty noisy with the loose stuff and the farts but boy did it feel great-when i looked in the bowl after i wiped the water was brown with the big poop floating in the middle of a lot of mush-nice load-Of course i got off in a big way and enjoyed the rest of the day-wish i could have done this load in the woods while eating a sandwich!LOL-Wish the sun would returd to us here in the N.E.BYE
kimmy
hey everyone! I have a real imbaracng story about me shitting durring a movie in the theater.
I was watching gone in 60 secounds with a friend of mine kevin. Well about half way through the movie i had to take a major major shit. It was so bad that i didnt want to get up for fear that it would come out all over the place so i waited for it to pass. But it didnt, it came out all over the theater and i was in the top row so it rolled all the way down to the screen. It was the worst diareah i had ever had.
I was so embaresed i ran out of the theater and jumped in the car. Keven was running after me and got in the car. We went to his house and he helped me clean it all up.
It was the best shit i had ever taken.
write me at my e-mail address.
Jane
Hey! It's been quite a while since I last posted. I have been busy at work and doing many things in my life. I try to keep up with the postings but it's not always possible to read everything, and I have very little time to post.
Dr. Poop: Thanks for enjoying my stories. To answer your question regarding the interview at K-Mart, I believe I peed furiously for the first two minutes and tinkled for the last two or three. I had tried to get to the K-Mart in plenty of time but got lost from faulty directions and barely made it in time. I didn't have time to freshen up, including peeing, and my bladder was on the verge of bursting as the interview was ending.
I have no stories to post at this time, and there is nothing unusual to report other than that my pooping habits have been normal lately. Last week at work I drank two quarts of water by lunch and had to pee five times that afternoon.
Tuesday, August 01, 2000
tye
I wish a lot of these lame people would stop saying "Farting is unladylike" "Women don't fart" "Farting by a woman is socially unacceptable". I hear men and even some women say these statements all the time, and that is so lame. Get real people!!!!!!
kim & scott; A few jokes for all you star trek fans!
question: what do you call it when captain james t. kirk has a massive bowel movement?
ANSWER: captains log!(For all who dont get it captain kirk starts every star trek by saying ..captains log
stardate...etc.....)
Question: why is star trek and toilet paper alike?
ANSWER: they both pick up klingons!
WELL HOPE YA LIKED OUR DUMB JOKES SCOTT & I HAVE HEARD OVER THE YEARS. bye now. from kim & scott
Alex M.
Hi guys. I've been back home for about two weeks after spending 7 weeks in Europe with my friends; sorry I haven't gotten around to posting sooner.
As Steph said, it was "the best time of our lives." My bladder and bowel habits were remarkably "normal" throughout the trip. I really don't have any extraordinary toilet stories to tell, but I'll mention a couple of things anyway.
We brought along some "funnel thingys" in case if we had to pee into a hole-in-the-ground "toilet," but luckily, we didn't have to resort to using them.
Steph decided to pee outdoors several times while we were hiking. Some of you may remember that she showed me "how" one time while we were on a hiking trip here in the U.S. However, to be honest, I prefer sitting on the toilet to do my "duty," even if that means holding it for a while until I find a washroom.
Steph also showed me how to use a bidet. She wrote about that a couple of pages back. I hope this isn't too out-of-line, but the feeling of rushing water against my genitals was a sensational feeling.
One more comment. I'm still amazed by the very small size of airplane bathrooms. I had to pee several times on the flight over and coming back. As I was sitting on the toilet, I realized that, including the sink, this bathroom was barely wider than a bathroom stall and that, with my feet straight on the ground right in front of the toilet, there were barely a couple of inches between my toes and the lavatory door.
Dr. Poop, welcome back. Steph posted about her wiping habits a couple of pages back (toiletpostod). My wiping patterns are about the same as hers. When I just have to pee, I grab a wad of toilet paper and then get up slightly (but not all the way) off the toilet to wipe my vagina. When pooping and peeing, I grab a wad of toilet paper while still sitting down. However, I stand up before wiping my vagina. After my vagina is clean (it usually takes one wipe), I take some more toilet paper and wipe my butt. I continue doing that until there is little or no poop left on the paper. FWIW, I usually wipe 3-4 times after pooping, but have wiped up to ten times when my shit was soft and messy.
Hugs and kisses. Luv, Alex :)
Althea
Jennifer and Natalie: I appeal to you and all. When you feel the urge, head for the toilet. Do not punish yourselves. Luckily, when I was 13, I only took a crap in school on an emergency basis and it was thick and bulky. I just could not hold it in any more.
Natalie: This is not a religious forum. But, who is your instructor to speak for the Lord and judge you? Leave that school and never return. That is not Christian charity. I would be very saddened toward someone who messed themself. If someone especially a child tells me they have to go, I direct them to the nearest toilet NOW. I do not wait.
In day camp, a 10 y/o girl came to me on the school bus saying she had Montezuma's Revenge. I asked the driver to stop somewhere. We would have never made the school. He pulled the bus into the bus garage near the school. I rushed her into the office toilet. In a flash this kid lowered her purple shorts and white panties in one motion. As she put her behind to the toilet seat, bowels erupted with a series of wet farts and brown liquid doo-doo. This went on for 20 minutes. I told her to breathe easy. She was terrfied and relieved at the same time. I gave her generous amounts of paper to wipe. Her behind was a mess. When we reboarded the bus, no one knew what happened. It was between us.
Paul
I work at a electronics store and a friend of mine in the department where I work had to use the toilet. She was going to wait when another one of the employees walked up and told us this story:
At the store we keep the bathroom key in the department closest to the bathroom (which is ours). from time to time the bathroom keys are all taken and you have to wait for someone to come out. There used to be a guy who worked in the computer department who was known for his gaseous rampages. One particular day, however, he had to take an enormous shit! So he promptly ran to our department and asked for the restroom key but it was taken. The guy ran to the bathroom and waited.
A few moments had passed and everyone started to hear a pounding coming from the bathroom area. Not much later they heard the man screaming for the bathroom key. A few seconds later he was seen running to the front of the store and an announcement was made by him asking for the manager.
Finally a key was handed to him and he ran inside. Ten minutes later a manager was called to the bathroom. Apparently he had not made it to the toilet and shit had run all the way down his legs and all over the bathroom floor! His mom was immediatley called to bring him some new clothes. As for the bathroom; a high powered hose was brought in to get rid of the nasty shit everywhere.
Buzzy
JASON(uk)-I feel the same exact way you do about pooing and watching others poop-it's like you and i are the same person!!everything you said is also my opinion too! Too bad about your wife-you got to ease her into it-It may take awhile-but keep trying to see her poo and talk to her and tell her how much you like it-if she trully cares for you,she;ll do it and soon she'll get into it-if not move on friend!(or at least find somone to satisfy your urge and believe me there are girls out there that are more than willing to poo for you-good luck!
TO LISA-Haven't heard from you in awhile-good to hear from you -NO that wasn't me in colorado-i live in NY,but it sounds like one of my woods dumps--That Good looking thing is so subjective-i guess i'm Ok-I've never had trouble meeting women-i guess i'm your average looking guy,but i'm in great shape-i go to the gym and bike daily(5'10"-165lbs) I'm not muscle-bound,but my legs and by butt are in great shape-enough of this anyway-Lisa,i'm glad you enjoy my stories-post some of yours-i love reading them esp when i gotta dump as i'm reading them!
TO J.H-cool story with you and your girlfriend in the woods-about the anal sex thing-years ago i used to do it with this girl right after she took a dump and it was fun UNTIL I GOT A TERRIBLE BLADDER INFECTION!!After that,i never did it again-my advice-JH,USE A CONDOM,believe me you don't want to go thru what i went thru with that bladder infection-very painful and i had to take these horse-pill antibiotics that made me pee out my anus for 3 weeks-BE CAREFUL,FELLA!Well,i'm off to the gym cause thw weather her still sucks-i think i'll try to hold my BM till i get to the gym!I can feel it starting already!BYE
ileo
I will have to save my juicy hospital stories for later , however I do recall waking up from an 8 hour intestinal butchery session , spanked on Morphine and Demerol . I must have been in a major psycosis because I somehow yanked some tubes out and decided that it was imperative that I scramble to my hospital room toilet and take a dump . I must have been in denial , because my asshole had just been put "out of order" for a few months . I sat and felt no access to any of those muscles , fortunately . It would have hurt like all hell !!! A Cotton wad and a few bloody staples fell in the toilet , a nurse appeared and shuttled me back to bed . She wiped the blood off of my ass and I cried like a baby . . . .
Adrian
Jason UK. There aren't any easy answers where your difficulty is concerned. That said, I think your priority must be the welfare of your marriage and the wishes of your wife. You must accept that she may not take a sympathetic view of preference. At the end of the day what you must consider is whether you really have to tell her or not. Perhaps the best approach would be to gently explain when the moment's right that you're not hung up about natural functions and neither should she be. I mustn't put words into your mouth though. Caution and tact is the best approach I think if you really have to share your preferences with your wife.
LISA
I had the most embarrassing thing happen today. I'd just stepped on the elevator with this other woman when I felt incredible pressure in my ass. I had to fart sooo bad. I squeezed my cheeks together hoping to hold it in but I just couldn't do it. I let out a long hard fart. But it didn't stop there. 3 more quick farts slipped out followed by another long one that didn't want to end. FAAAARRRAAAARRARRT. "Oh I'm so sorry" I said to the lady.
Surprisingly she was very understanding. "That's ok. There are some things we just can't control." Luckily there was very little odor.
Anyone else have an embarrassing fart story?
LISA
Bryian
To J.H.: Cool story about watching your girl friend crap!! And its cool that her shit wasn't the only thing in her rectum that day, i know what u mean!!
I've been shitting almost daily, seems like i either go ever 3 days then that stops and i go every day
Sandra
As we do most weekends, my husband and I stayed at our friends' small cottage in the country. They own a lot of land so it's totally private in the woods. Yesterday, while my husband took a nap, I went for a walk and took a little picnic plus some wine with me. As soon as I got into the woods I took off my clothes. I found a clearing, sat down on a tree stump and started eating my sandwiches. It was very peaceful. While I was eating, I felt the need to poo so I moved off the tree stump and squatted. A huge turd started coming out and I carried on eating my sandwiches and sipping while I pooed. It felt great to be pooing while eating, naked in the woods. I let out about 3 more turds then without wiping, I sat back on the stump to continue my lunch.
George
Jason UK. You could always let her see your posting to this page as often it is far easier to put difficult matters in writing than to say it directly face to face. Perhaps you should also let her read back through the old posts and she will find that many many couples such as myself and Moira, Tony and Theresa, Nicola and her husband and lots of others enjoy letting each other watch when they have a bowel movement. You could also try breaking the lock on the toilet door "accidentally" and just not getting round to replacing it, or needing a shower or bath when you know she is going to do a motion so you are in the toilet/bathroom at the time. Its a difficult one as once you have mentioned this to Suzanne you cant unsay it any more than you can stuff a jobbie back up your arse once you have done it. You have been married 2 years so should know her by now. Is she straight laced and purdish in intimate matters or open and adventurous? One thing that may give you a hint is her at!
titude to her periods and all that goes with them. If she is embarrased and hides tampons and santitary towels away from you and doesnt want you to see her in her knickers when she is on then I think you are on a loser as far as letting you watch her doing a motion is concerned. Good luck and tell us all how you get on. Shafted is in a more difficult position as his girlfriend knows that he is turned on by her doing a jobbie but is obviously not willing to let him watch.
Randi, I think there are medicines one can buy which counteract LI. This seems to be a bigger problem in the USA than here in Britain, or maybe our doctors dont diagnose it as well as American ones.
Natalie, both Moira and I are anti organised religion although we do accept a God. With so called religious types as at your college we can well understand why! These people suffer from religion as if it were a disease and want to make others suffer. I always say to them that if God considered sex, defection, periods and other such functions as "dirty or wicked" then he would NOT have designed these into humanity and the higher animals. Just ignore and marginalise these sad bigots and heap ridicule and scorn on them.
Adrian
Jason UK. There aren't any easy answers where your difficulty is concerned. That said, I think your priority must be the welfare of your marriage and the wishes of your wife. You must accept that she may not take a sympathetic view of preference. At the end of the day what you must consider is whether you really have to tell her or not. Perhaps the best approach would be to gently explain when the moment's right that you're not hung up about natural functions and neither should she be. I mustn't put words into your mouth though. Caution and tact is the best approach I think if you really have to share your preferences with your wife.
Modest: Deuce Bigalow poop scene
I saw the movie DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGALO on home video. There's a scene where Deuce goes to get relationship advice from his father, Bob Bigalow. Deuce's father is a restroom attendant at a fancy restaurant. While Deuce shares his thoughts about this one-legged girl that he likes, a man in a tuxedo rushes into the bathroom and into one of the stalls. Throughout Deuce and Bob's talk, the man's farts are heard rather audibly, until finally the man moans with a release of diarrhea. There is also another scene on the beach where a lifeguard runs to an outhouse. Funny, funny movie!
GRUNTLY BOGWELL
To continue with a couple more episodes involving myself and my 360 pound girlfriend, Carol. The morning after our nude swimming and Carol's poo in the woods at her parents cabin I got up early to take a walk, this, of course, brought on the need to do a poo of my own and I headed back to the cabin to the two hole outhouse behind the cabin. I hadn't gone in two days and was looking forward to bowel cleaning. The outhouse had two holes and an electric light Carol's parents had run out there. Each hole had a black seat cover and the planking ran flat from one side of the outhouse to the other. The holes stood over a cement basin eight feet below with a liquid poo solvent in it which smelled that antiseptic smell mixed with former leavings. I opened the door stepped up into the early morning dimness of the outdoor commode with shafts of sunlight shining narrowly through the slats in the sideboards. I unloosened the belt to my jeans and slid them down to my ankles along with!
my fruit of the loom briefs, flipped up the back of my green polo shirt to keep from sitting on it as I eased my 150 pound self on to the right hand seat, my balls hung down into the cool dankness of the commode and my ass filled out the toilet seat oval. I sighed and started straining to loosen the first turd in my back passage, not loud just a soft nnngggg…felt my brown eye dome out and the head of the poo start to move out. Just then I head the heavy tread of rubber sandals on the path outside and Carol jerked the door open and hoisted her huge frame into the outhouse with a "Hey Hon, sorry to interrupt but when a girl's gotta go, she has to go." She placed a heavy hand on my shoulder to steady herself as she turned around to undo her 3X tan shorts. All this action caused my poo in the breach to slither back up inside and my asshole to cinch up. Carol struggled with her shorts, panting from her brisk walk to the commode, she wore a white polo shirt. Her shorts went !
below her knew followed by her 3X cotton panties. Her huge bare thighs, belly and ass quivered for a moment before she plopped down on the seat, her bulk spilling over the black toilet seat and on to the planking, so that the toilet completely disappeared under her massive thighs and ass. This gave a jolt to the outhouse…she leaned forward raised up again and reseated herself to better position her underside to better line up her excretory holes with the outhouse seat opening. She immediately loosed a vociferous torrent of pee from her underside which gurgled loudly into the outhouse solvent. She beamed at me and said, "How's it going sweetie, everything coming out alright?" I flushed and said, "Almost, but I lost it when you came in." Well, you got to watch me for free last night in the woods, so now its my turn," she said clapping me on the shoulder as her pee gurgled to a halt…followed by another squirt or two. I wasn't used to such familiarity in the, but I was tur!
ned on by the sight of Carol's half naked bulk seated three feet away. I squeezed my legs together, but popped up anyway much to Carol's amusement, which did nothing for the state of my bowels, which were beginning to fester with the unreleased turd hanging in there. Carol said, "Come on, we'll go together, I still haven't gotten rid of that load of French fries covered in mustard I used to get myself started yesterday." She leaned forward, hunched her herself up, her feet slid back to the face board of the commode seat planking so that her rubber sandals rested against it and grunted loudly with a wide smile on her face. I tried weakly, but nothing moved. Carol grunted again and a huge mushy load exited from her underside and fell pashing into the outhouse solvent, followed by a wet fart that seemed to go on for ever, filling the two-seater outhouse with a choking smell. "Ahhhhh…." Carol intoned, "C'mon its your turn" My bowels were starting to act up and so I tried a!
gain, causing my face to become hot and my hole to slowly open. All of a sudden, I had this feeling that I didn't care what Carol heard or saw. I began grunting heavily and leaning forward, the head of my turd sticking out of my bum. I leaned so far that my slim ass came off the seat giving Carol a good view of the log as it worked its way out of my bumhole. She leaned over to get a good view. "Go for it," she encouraged me, I looked back between my legs, past my privates to see the one and a half inch dark thing drop out of me and KERFLOOOMP into the solvent down below. "Atta way kid," Carol blurted out, "Bet that felt good1" I sat back panting. pleased with myself for having gone in front of a girl for the first time. "Come on, there's got to be more," Carol said bearing down to let more mushy poop flow out of herself. "Oh yes," I said as my trapped turds began to move and I could feel them getting softer and softer as they trundled down from up inside past my relaxi!
ng sphincter ring. Our poo smells mixed together in the outhouse dimness. Carol blasted a poo-filled wet fart to end the session, then asked if she could wipe me. I gingerly got up off the commode seat and pointed my skinny ass her way. Her heavy fingers on one hand spread my cheeks and she gently wiped me four times and tossed the stained tissue under herself into the commode. Then it was my turn…Carol heavily got off her seat and pointed her wide rear in my direction…I was a bit daunted by the wide expanse of white skin before me, with its butt hole having disappeared between her cheeks as she got up to turn around. I tried to spread her cheeks with one hand, but to no avail…she said "Here let me help." Carol reached around and clasped her massive buttocks with her fat hands and pulled them apart, so that I could get on with the wiping process. Her last wet fart had created a gooey light tan poo ring around her brown hole for several inches…the result of her cheeks m!
ashing together as she lifted herself off the commode seat. In fact the whole mess was framed by a red total commode seat outline. It took me 16 wipes to clean her up, the hardest part was when her brown hole twitched as I applied the toilet paper to it and she laughed, because the wiping process tickled. Finally, we got ourselves together and went off to make breakfast at the cabin.