Fred_LimpBizkit
Okay, I promise, I wont piss anyone off today, because that seems to be all Im good for here lately, Tony has his opinion of me, and I, of him, Oh Well, Can we just drop that now? Yesterday we had our school "Turnabout Dance" where the girls ask the guys out and everything is backwards, I went to pick my girlfriend up to go get something to eat, I figuring we would stop at a steakhouse or something, because I usually take her somewhere nice before a dance, But she said she wanted Taco Bell, So we went there, she had 2 Baja Chicken Chulupas(SP) and 2 Baja Steak Gorditas. We sat down and she put like 3 packs of Fire sauce on each item, I asked how long its been since shes eaten, because she is like really thin and only 5'5" she just said she was hungry, I jokingly said "well, youd better find another ride home, with all the fire sauce you are likely to blow a hole in your miniskirt" she laughed and said, "Ha, you have to put up with me and likely my gas for the next 4 hours." I ! just answered "Oh Joy" So we danced had fun and everything at the dance and I drove her home, "She asked me to walk her in and turn on a few lights as her parents werent home and she had to take a monster shit, I said "ok, just not in the car" I walked her in and turned some lights on as she was in the bathroom with the door open, staying away for the fact that if she wanted company she would have asked, and then she asked me to bring her some TP from the closet, I went in and gave her some, her panties were on the floor, I asked If she didnt make it, she she had but she had a wedge all night, she got up to wipe and said "Hey, look at what you just paid for a few hours ago." There were like 5 4-5" logs light brown in color, I just said, "Ill do the honors" and flushed they all clumped together and clogged they looked like Medusas head kinda. She told her dad to get them later, and I left to go home and practice my bass. See ya everyone, Ill try to post less frequently, as obvi! ously like 3-4 people in the whole place see anything like I see it, Bye!
Rick
Hello again.
In response to sandra's post of a few days ago about the woman not washing her hands after she dumps. Well to your shock I have noticed a lot of guys that do not wash their hands while at work. I work in a professional office building and it amazes me at how many of these doctors, lawers and accountants go to the bathroom take dumps or leaks, and do not bother to wash up after themselves. It really makes you think twice before going into a business meeting and shaking hands with some of these folks. You know, the cleanest guy in the building is the janitor because he is always has his hands in soap. Oh well, like they say, money talks and ---- walks.
Jane
After my recent episode in the office last week in which I had some major poop sessions, I'm feeling much better and don't have anything unusual to report, so I'll describe one of my experiences from the summer I worked in my mother's office when I was in high school. I seemed to have quite a few major poop sessions that summer, partly because I spent most of my lunches at a nearby Burger King. This particular time I went to lunch with my Mom and one of her co-workers (I worked in a different section than my Mom) to a Chinese restaurant. I had an unusually large meal for a lunch, more like a dinner size.
If I had to poop at work, it was usually in the mid to late afternoon. However, I started to feel it as we were leaving the restaurant. As I got back to my desk, I thought I would have to go right away, but I decided to hold it since I had a filing project I needed to do. A couple of hours later, I reached for a lower drawer, and as I bent over I released a huge! fart, and there was a big stink! It turned a few heads around, but luckily it was in the back part of the office, away from our reception area where clients would be waiting for appointments. I said oops, I have to go, grabbed a magazine on my desk, walked quickly out of the office, went down the stairs to the next floor down and into the ladies room (I didn't use the ladies room on our floor for several weeks after someone reported seeing a male peering in on me).
I went into a stall, pulled down my slacks and panties, and quickly pushed out a loud fart and soft long turd, followed by a soft mushy load that lasted about eight seconds. Then I peed for a few seconds, farted again and released another soft mushy load, this one lasting about ten seconds. I flushed the toilet and began to read the magazine. As I was reading, I pushed out a series of long, thick, soft turds. They came out quickly and one right after the other. I pushed out about a dozen pieces, the! n I farted again and another soft mushy load followed. I flushed again and decided to finish the article I was reading. I pushed out a few more turds and was finished with both the article and my poop session. I wiped several times, got up and took a look at the turds still in the toilet before flushing. Once I got back to the office, I never heard the end of it for the rest of the day.
Linda
Wow Cindy that was some poop you had. trust me I feel your pain. really.. I've been there myself many times. But poor you to have to have tp suffer alone like that. Anyway i know your shy cause of your grunting and straining. I trust me I know what it's like.. but acatully the worry that come one will hear subconsiously makes you tense and makes it hared for you to poop. Trust me. Anyway I have to ask you something Cindy, isn't it odd to see yourself grunting and straining face all red in that mirror in your bathroom? I mean I'd never want to see myself in a mirror when pooping out of fear that the faces i make would scare me. (Heh maybe so much it would scare the you know what out of me so then it might just help. hee hee) Anyway so what do you look like when you poop? I mean heh it must have come into your head at sometime to pay attention and see. I'd like to know what i look like but hey i think it would be scary. My cousin has seen me when I poop and go through the whole ! thing... hmm maybe that's why nothing scares him. hee hee. (If you can live through me pooping, I doubt nothing will ever scare you. =Þ)Anyway so you saw you're poop come out with a small mirror? I've read lots of people do it here and I'm interested to know what it looks like coming out. Was it wild? Hmm i think I will try it, just not now. I think I'll wait till I'm constipated. (and when i am it goes on for 3 to 4 days but even when I go poop normally which is somtimes like twice a day it comes out like I've ben holding it in for days. Why is that? Oh well.) Anyway anyone think I should try the mirror thing? Okay and so with that i'm off. But before that. Hey Steph how are you? Pooping with no problems I hope. And Hey JW, how are you buddy? Hee hee (Hey you are besides my couisn you're probably the only person I'd trust to see me in my "deep thinking" position. Hee hee. well I'm off. Hey anyone noticed I didn't once say pampies in this one? Ooops. Sorry.
Hee hee
XOX! O
Linda
Dee
I agree with most of you that the Moderator is doing a fine job keeping the more blatant scat activities off this site. I very much enjoy a good pee or dump, and have always been interested in the natural functions of my own body. I remember standing up to poop once or twice when I was a kid and bending down between my legs to watch the poop coming out. Also as a kid, I used to pee into plastic bags to see how much pee I could 'make', and i even tasted my pee once fron curiosity after reading a Reader's Digest story about someone being shipwrecked and having to drink their own pee to survive. I put my finger in the stream then licked it, because I wanted to see what my pee tasted like in case I was ever shipwrecked. It was one of those things kids do, I guess, and I never told anyone until now. I like the feeling of needing to go, and I love the feeling of releif. But I don't think of myself as a 'scat' person, because while this stuff interests me and i do sometimes get a mor! e than innocent kick out of some of the stories here, that stuff just doesn't turn me on.
Jeff A, I'm pleased you're still here. I don't usually have much to say either, but i like to read, and I post once in a while, and I like to think of myself as a quieter member of this community.
Sandra, was it you who asked? I usually wipe after a poop, but once while I was visiting with my friend in Singapore I had to use one of the hole-in-the-ground toilets. I was out shopping and had already farted several times. I could feel it was a solid poop and was planning to hold it a few hours until I got back, but I needed to pee as well, and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my pee so long. So I went into a public toilet, which I must say was very clean, but the only stall available was the hole-in-the-ground stall. No big deal, since I squat to go when I'm outdoors as well. I thought I might as well poop there, but the thing was...there was no toilet paper, and I didn't ! have any tissue in my bag. I decided to just pee and hold the poop for later, but the poop had other ideas. As I squatted and peed, a hard marble of poop shot out of my anus, bounced off the white porcelain without leaving a mark and fell down the hole. Since I could feel the rest of the poop dangerously close to the exit, I thought what the hell and pushed a little. The first marble was followed by a few more, then a larger pebble, none of which left a mark. After that I felt able to hold the rest of the poop, but I still didn't have any paper, so I just pulled up my panties and carried on. There were no skid marks at the end of the day, though I did have a good poop once I got back. I think the squatting was what made the first bit of poop come out.
Anne
Had really good dump on Friday night. Went to visit mother in law with hubby and we were staying overnight. I hadn't had a motion since Wednesday lunchtime and it was a really big jobbie with four big pieces and three smaller ones. Nearly blocked the loo but didn't really care as there's little love lost between me and my mother in law. Felt really better though. I love having a good clear out when we go to visit - it somehow makes the trip worthwhile.
Dump Buddy (US)
A lot of guys post here that discovering this forum has been a really outstanding experience. It makes us feel real good. I think that the sensations coming out of this male-bonding exercise that right now we're all ganged together for, wallowing in with the impish behavior of smartass boys, is alot like the feeling of total well-being you get when strutting out of the shithouse after a particularly intense crap (Oh, Man, I feel great)!. Believe me, I know. I think I was the hold-it-in champ of my school, and most of you guys here have been holding an awful lot in for an awful long time, and now, in spite of all our fear, self-conciousness, shame, and embarassment, right now we're all unloading together like sailors.
While here we can only try to suggest the overwhelming sensory pleasures of sight, sound and smell that can only fully be experienced beyond the doorway with the sign shouting MEN, what's going on here is pretty neat. Like, how many guys (thanks to C! hris) from all over, have been watching, listening, and smelling, with all-consuming intensity, our young Sean manfully move his bowels, over and over and over again, behind what has proven to be totally useless bathroom door? So, c'mon guys. Get over bein' shy. Scramble to unbuckle, rip open that zip, pop those buttons, shove 'em down to your ankles, and go for it. This forum may be the ultimate buddy dump.
Great to hear all the comments since my first post about my favorite stuff. It feels good, like when the guy in the next stall blurts out some man-to-man wisecrack to break the ice in the real awkward silence when you're both on the edge of lettin' go (ohhh, gotta fart, gonna fart; oh please make him start fartin' first. Ohhh). You know.
Keep the good stuff comin'.
Chris: Bet your mum's home cooking, like maybe a second helping of steak and kidney pudding, turned up the pressure when Sean, loaded for bear, hovered over your bed, unable to concentrate on nothing but his exploding bowels. And when he was finally behind that shut door, his buttcheeks firmly planted on the seat, at last giving in to his powerful urge, the sausage rolls and beer he shared with a mate earlier in the day must have turned up the volume of the farts and plops that mesmerized you. Ever remember seeing or hearing any other bathroom action from your lodgers, like maybe early in the morn! ing? Know what you mean about smells being a turn-on depending on the guy whose cutting loose with the fumes. Like, I'd beg to sufficate on lungs-full of the powerfully ripe stench produced by any part of Brad Pitt's celebrated bod.
Bear: Awesome post about those gang toilets. You really know what you're talking about. Its just the way I remember it. I can almost feel the cold, wet, grimy floor under my bare feet. I especially like the scene with the visiting swim team performing their mortifying buddy dumps. Like "a deer caught in the headlights". Faces, bodies, flushed beet-red in shame, struggling against making eye-contact, stammering in response to your intrusive comment. Yeah, I've watched alot of dudes suffer like this. Gotta admit to the sadistic but innocent pleasure I get watching tough studs reduced to cowering boys when being forced by circumstance, athletic competition, and peer pressure, to take a shit in full view of their teammates, and anyone else! who walks in. Cool. And then there's the acoustics thing. Red-faced, I've flinched at the crack of the loudly reverberating echos of every one of my involuntary grunts, urgently blasted farts, riveting piss splatter, and ploppingly unleashed shitlogs in a hard-walled chamber of humiliation that looked just like - and I'll bet smelled just like - the gang toilets of the swimming pool locker rooms you describe so vividly. More like this, please.
Bear, we're hoping for alot more posts from you. We're beggin' for it, man
Ryan: Don't give up, man. It'll happen. Really. Just don't sweat it. Make the wait easier on yourself. Fantasize. Discipline yourself to start taking most of your dumps at school After you let loose with your initial blast, spend some time taking in the action surrounding you. Sooner or later,you're gonna recognize (by voice or by sneakers) a new anxious stall-mate as some guy you know, and then I'll bet it'll all start happening for you. Just gi! ve in to the urges produced by the wild images on your fantasy screen, and if you gotta, take care of business right on the spot. It'll take the edge off, at least for few hours. I know.
Pete: Pleased you like my words. It makes me wanna do more. Yeah, you know about feet and what they mean. You understand everything I'm talking about. Want to have alot more from you. You sound like the type of guy I like to hit the head with when we both got a wicked shit brewing. Mornings are best. Know what I mean, Pete?
Hitch-hiking around Europe, I spent the night at alot of youth hostels, most with gang toilets, some with bowls, some with turkish type squat pits. Intense, guys. When I was hitching, half the time I either had the shits, or was plugged up big time. Seemed like most of the other guys were in the same boat. Those what they call turkish toilets are not for the timid or shy, and for the inexperienced, they can be a disaster. Saw one teen guy franticall! y try to use one. It was obvious he'd been struggling to hold in a bursting bladder and explosive diarrhea for a looong time. In desperate panic he clumsily struggled to shove down his jeans and jockeys, pull up his shirt, squat, and unleash his fury. What a mess. Poor kid. About half of his steamy load splattered into the pit, the other half spewed on the floor, the back wall, his jeans, legs, hands,and because he didn't have his feet planted in the big footprints, well, his sneakers would never be the same again.
Next post will be about one of many everlasting memories of adolescence, about when I was living with my uncle and his two teen sons, and how, every morning, we all had to use the one bathroom in the house together. Like Boys Room sights, sounds and smells that usually shove me over the edge, triggering the release of all the ripe, pent-up crap aching to shoot out, I hope my posts get you guys going and you lay some of your hottest shithouse adventure! s on us. Remember, we're buds. This forum is, well, just like a barracks latrine: at first a nightmare, but soon, its gonna feel just like home.
I remember the time one morning my 19-year-old cousin Vinnie walked in one me in the bathroom...Anne(the bus driver)
I havent written for a while but have been observing this site. I agree with the moderator and others, this isnt a SCAT site, there are plenty of those, but let's keep this within the guidelines. Please stay Jeff A on that basis and post when you have something to share but read other's posts as I do when I havent.
Finbar, I agree that girls and women can be as vulgar about their natural functions such as defecation as men and boys. I recently drove a double decked (London red bus type) with some Convent Girls going to a sports centre and back. When they were coming back I heard a bit of noise up top but put it down to girlish high spirits. I did look in the periscope and saw some girls huddled at the top and in the back but thought nothing of it. When we got to the school I heard the girls giggling when the went off saying that one of their number had done a huge turd. Now I thought they meant at the Sports Centre but when I went to check the bus for left property et! c I saw a plastic carrier bag. I thoght it might contain some girl's Games Kit but found a big fat turd inside. I assume that some couldn't hold it in till she got to the Girls'Toilet at school and did it in the bag. It was a big solid jobbie, about 2 and a half inches fat and 12 inches long, much like one of my own. I simply threw the bag into the rubbish compactor in the garage. I didnt report the girls as they hadn't done it on the floor of the bus or on the seats but had had the decency to do it in the nag, but next time I did have a word with a couple of them and said that if they needed the toilet again I would be only too willing to stop the bus enroute at a public toilet.
I had to drive a bus on Stage Carriage Service and did what I call an installment motion. I needed when I took the bus over at the garage but held it in till I got to the terminus where there is a ladies public toilet. I went there and did a fat 10 incher, like a knobbly carrot, with quite a ! bit of effort and grunting. It was well compacted and very firm. I felt there was more to come down but only had a 5 minute stopover. When I got to the other end I used the ladies toilet there and did the rest, another fat lumpy jobbie of about 8 inches followed by a curved easy smooth poo of a similar size shaped like a brown cucumber in shape. As I had been constipated for the previous two days I wasn't surprised to pass this load and felt both relieved and a feeling of pleasure.
Nicola. my knickers (panties) are similar in size to yours , size 22, I also have a fat bum. American panty sizes seem to use smaller numbers to British ones.
Pete (US)
I do not have any stories about buddy dumping (although I wish I did!). However, here is one about what happened to me a few years ago when I was preparing for a colonoscopy. My doctor’s instructions were to have a light lunch, no dinner, and no breakfast. I was also supposed to take some Fleet Phospho-Soda several times the day before the procedure and drink lots of water. The Fleet Company makes all kinds of related products and not only the famous (or infamous Fleet Enema). Anyway I followed the doc’s directions and went home from work at noon, since the instructions said the Phospho-Soda could start working in a few hours
My system did not seem to be reacting to the stuff and it was now mid-evening. I was feeling extremely cold, which is unusual for me, since by body temp. tend to run hot. I later found out that this was a possible side-effect, but no one told me. I was wondering what was going on and I called to doc. about 11p.m. to ask what I should do. ! He said take another dose, since I HAD to be clean for the colonoscopy. Well I had finished the last dose and was not about to walk to the drugstore, since the dam could burst at any moment, with little warning. I had to ask my partner to schlep to the drugstore for me. Wouldn’t you know that as soon as he left, the gates opened wide.
In the dose the doc prescribed, Fleet Phospho-Soda is not a laxative, but a purgative. My understanding is that it is some type of salt that attracts water into the intestines, so it is like an enema (output) without an enema (input), or in effect, drinking an enema. Torrents of brown water gushed from my butt with some shit mixed in, but not much, since I had not been constipated. I did not think I had drunk THAT much water, but I guess since noon I did. It was very strange having the effects of a MAJOR ENEMA without having had one! The wonders of modern medicine. Anyway, after about 5 or ten minutes Niagara Falls dried up ! and after much wiping, I was back to normal, except for my squeaky clean intestines. Thank God they didn’t wait until I was asleep to discharge – I could have drowned in bed!
The rest was (thankfully) uneventful and other than a small benign polyp, I was fine. It is a trip to be able to see the inside of my large intestine on TV during the procedure, until the drugs took full effect and I drifted off.
I didn’t start shitting normally for a few days, but that did not surprise me, with the major spring-cleaning I had undergone.
Anyone else have some colonoscopy stories?
Pete
Dork
CM, I've always wondered about sports players and what they do doing a game when they have to go. The play can't be stopped so there must be some why of relieving themselves during a game.
PV
CRIMSON: The Sanistand and the She-inal -- yes, they ring a few bells, I think I've seen pictures at another site. Hmmm, they weren't very, well, aesthetic, were they? And they seem a bit, well, clumsy? It's always a problem, and it seems to me it's more of a problem than it needs to be. (Scratching the ol' red-head in thought). Yeppers, there are problems in making anything truly universal. The point you raise about height is especially apt, in my own experience I've found men's urinals to often be mounted too high, and I'm a fully grown woman. In some particular bathrooms unless I'm wearing high heels I can only wee in the one and only urinal mounted low for boys, which is far from fair. So the height for young girls would be an even more contentious issue. The solution? Easy, mount a couple at different height to cater to shorter folks, or go back to the old continuous wall type (still common in Australia, with brand new variations) which completely elliminates the problem ! for both sexes and all ages. For the ladies who can't manage the control to effectively pee forward there is a soft plastic funnel device that cups the outlet and streams forward, and this is attractive as it is your personal device, not shared with strangers, and can be put to use anywhere at any time. Stats presently suggest about three women in ten might need this kind of help. But the stats of course refer to only the .01% of women who are aware they can pee standing up at all, and that's not much to base conclusions on! A new splash-free design for men? Hmmm, I'd be against anything that was even more male-exclusive -- but that's political, sure! I love discussing this subject, Crimson, thanks for the info!
MOIRA: That wasn't Augustus talking about the millenium, I'm afraid it was me -- I forgot to add my handle that night, sorry! And ... not at all meaning to be confrontational about it, this is just something that is driving me all kinds of bananas, nuts and cracker! s ... I absolutely, entirely, utterly, thunderingly repudiate the beginning of the Third Millenium at any moment prior to Januray 1st 2001. There are two thousand years in two thousand years, and the Second Millenium ain't up until the final year has expired, it's the simplest baby maths ever invented. And -- similarly, not meaning to come on aggressive or offensive -- I couldn't give a hurtling frisbee what some ignoramus did in the Middle East when Herrod was a lad. Sorry, it's simple maths and I'll no more get into line with that "convention" than with Daylight Saving. As a matter of record, scientists, astronomers and other time-keeping mathematicians quietly remind the public of this glaring fact every hundred years like clockwork, but the proletariat party when the double "0" comes up and never listen to a word said. Anyway, that's off-topic, my fault for bringing it up. Appologies again.
JEFF.A: Thank you! That's very sweet, and yes, we did have a nice talk! I'd lov! e to take a whizzer with you one day myself! My progress? Whizzing along nicely, and have had some excellent experiences, especially a recent all-ladies group pee at a crowded men's room during the recent Melbourne Cup celebrations! That was rather amazing, and I was pleased as anything to be able to do it!
All my best guys, PV
Sunday, November 14, 1999
CM
Do any of you fellow-posters remember when a University of Nebraska football player got suspended for 3 games because of urinating in public. I mean whe you gotta go you gotta go, he must have felt really ashamed!
Alexander
Have you ever heard the insult that goes- "You're so stupid, if you were locked in the bathroom you'd pee in your pants"
Well, that happened to me.
Here's what happened. My best friend Lisa and I live together and we were preparing to throw a birthday party for her sister. I don't remember how, but somehow we got locked in the bathroom, and the door got stuck, too. We tried as hard as we could, but the door wouldn't open. We were fine, though. Except Lisa had drunk a lot of soda beforehand, and eventually, of course, she had to go to the bathroom. And she was embarassed by it, because the way the bathroom is built, wherever you stand, you can see the toilet- there are a whole bunch of mirrors. But she was desparate, so she just sat down and peed. An then I had to go also, from her mentioning going to the bathroom. So I stood over the toilet and I went. It wasn't so embarassing after all.
I think it as a great opportunity for our friendship to grow i! nto our not only being friends, but also roommates. We never have to close the door anymore.
Steph
Hi guys! Jeff A., the "Race Relations" forum still has not been updated. I loved your last comments to me on this forum. I'm sure we could have some great conversations together; you also seem to be a very intelligent and well-spoken person.
As for your planning to leave this forum, I would like to join my friends Rick, Nicola, and others in saying, please don't!
I don't think there's a problem with you describing your various female friends going in front of you. Most of us (on here) have written about various "buddy dumping" and similar stuff with friends of the same or opposite sex. As you know, I can attest to both. We (my friends and I) have found this to be a very intimate way of maintaining our friendship.
I can understand how two sexual partners could use "buddy dumping" as a way of becoming closer to one another. I hope you are still reading this forum and would like to read more of your posts.
That is clearly different than what some p! eople have allegedly posted. There are some people who think that *watersports* and other kinky activities are appropriate for this forum. If two or more consenting people wish to engage in that stuff, which IMHO is disgusting, all power to them, but that doesn't belong here.
I haven't had any out-of-the-ordinary trips to the bathroom over the last few weeks, but I will write again soon if anything happens. Peace and love to everyone, Steph
Person
Chris, I have enjoyed your stories and I would like to know who was the first person you watched and what made you get intrested