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Dude
ABOUT BIG DADDY: Whoever asked, you didn't leave a name, but here's the scoop. The little blonde boy (Julian?) always needing to pee becomes a running joke in the movie. It's a harbinger of things to come when the boy thoroughly soaks his bed on the first night with his adopted dad. And the "pee shtick" gets progressively funner as the movie unfolds. There are probably about a half-dozen pee scenes all together. And about half of those show the boy's vigorous visible stream of piss...although it's probably FX, since I think the Movie Code folks would have a fit if the director made the boy drink gallons of water and "pee on camera" for real. It would probably be considered child abuse. Anyway, the first incident occurs when a snotty waiter refuses to let the boy use a restaurant bathroom...so his adopted dad (Adam Sandler) takes him outside and they both pee on a service entrance. When they walk away, the camera "close-ups" on their two little pee puddles! Later on, "dad" shou! ts encouragement while the boy pees against a tree, very openly and publicly, with lots of people around. Still later, while "dad" and the boy's school-marmish teacher are having a classroom conference about Julian's hygiene and classroom manners, "dad" looks across the room to notice the boy pissing openly on a potted plant! There are one or two other "pissing against a building" scenes with boy and dad. And there's another funny scene in a club...a row of men standing at half-wall urinals...the boy is standing next to his dad, peeing at the "lower deck" urinal...and dad says to him, "See, urinals are good too!" (referring slyly to Julian's preference for buildings, trees and potted plants!) One guy a couple of urinals away looks warily at them...and promptly moves himself one more urinal to the left...to put another "buffer urinal" between himself and the "weirdos"! It's a crack-up funny scene!

Anyway, the whole point behind this "running joke" about peeing together! is that boy and dad are experiencing "male bonding"...and the scriptwriters rightly recognized that peeing side-by-side, and showing a boy how to pee outdoors, are traditional "father-son" rituals which almost all parents can relate to. It's a sign of the growing emotional closeness and affection between them. And it really works as an image. This is a FAB movie...funny and heartwarming, and definitely (along the way) pushing the envelope surrounding our cultural "pee-pee" taboos and uptightness. Five stars for a video rental...especially recommended for our ace #1 fans!

AND AN ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY THAT WILL PROBABLY FRACTURE YOUR FUNNY BONE! I went to a major classical music concert in Marlboro, VT this weekend...the "New England Bach Festival". These concerts are held on a very beautiful rural college campus, which in fact used to be a working dairy farm, and (like most of Vermont) is lush and green and deeply wooded. Anyway, there were about 150 performers on sta! ge, between the orchestra and the chorus, doing Bach's "St. Matthew Passion", which runs about three-and-a-half hours. I also happen to know that, BACK STAGE, there are a total of about 6 toilets for these 150 musicians to use during the break. So I wondered what would happen at intermission. Indeed, the "good old People's Republic of Vermont answer to inadequate indoor plumbing" was duly invoked, as a huge slice of the tuxedo-and-gown-clad performers in their full formal wear sprinted to the bushes to relieve their bursting bladders! I heard one squatting (female) chorus member say to a standing (male) orchestra member by her side, both of them busily whizzing away: "I won't look if you don't look!" (Aw, come on, honey...looking is half the fun!)

It also occurred to me that this was probably a close approximation to the ACTUAL performance conditions in which such concerts would have been held during the 17th Century, long before the advent of flush toilets. I think t! hese musicians just gave the "Authentic Period Performance" movement in classical music, which seeks to replicate the "conditions of original presentation" of early works, a whole new "criterion of authenticity" to "aim" for! Formal orchestra musicians and singers peeing on the bushes in their tuxes and gowns has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen...anywhere! The ironic juxtaposition is just too much. Vermont is, indeed, a "magicke world unto itself". I only wish I had a camera, as it would have made a GREAT documentary photo for NEXT year's Festival Program booklet!


Harry, Thanks for explaining what a butt gasket is. Any good stories where someone witnessed someone shitting themselves. As for the question about wiping someone else's butt, I'd love to wipe Dennis Quaid's butt. I would imagine he does fat jobbies.


In response to Poiter, there are a few tricks to increase the distance you can get the stream. Obviously, the first thing is to have a painfully full bladder, but on top of this it helps to not be too tired (or drunk :) ), as this relaxes the urethra and reduces the pressure. Squeezing the glans of the penis on either side of the opening of the urethra slightly can also greatly increase the height in the same way that putting a thumb over the end of a hosepipe increases the force of the flow. Finally, the angle has to be as high as possible without having to be too close to the wall... hope this helps people get record heights :)


George
To the unnamed poster who asks I have tape recorded both myself and others doing a motion. NOT of course diarrhea, how horrid and gross, but the tinkling of the wee wee, the "OOs! and AHs! and NNs!, the crackling and the Ker-sploonk! and "kur-sploosh!" sounds of a good healthy solid motion being passed. I read a small add once in Forum the sex magazine for "Toilet Performance Tapes" which I assume was of such sounds. With the modern small voice operated recorders its easy to set this up.

Joshua, most women dry their vulva after peeing otherwise they get soggy gussets on their panties and yellow stains. Many men, such as myself, also dry the end of their penis after a pee. This avoids having an uncomfortable wet front on one's panties and making pee stains and for both genders drying after a pee avoids the chance of a pissy smell,which can happen, especailly in hot weather, even if you change your underwear every day as everyone should. As I always use a locked cubicl! e or stall to pee, then drying my cock presents no difficulty.

Cousin, interesting story. The only point is that most of the blokes who post here would have been delighted if they had such an opportunity to be present to listen and watch when a girl did a motion, not shocked and diffident as you were. We wouldn't have bolted out the door but would have stayed, probably helped her wipe her bum if she had wanted and certainly had a good look at what she had passed.

Daniel (UK). I dont think you will have a lot of difficulty getting to see your pal Nathaniel doing a motion as the lame excuses he uses to get you to come in while he is still in the toilet after his dump suggest to me that he wants you in there with him. By the way, do you have good look down the pan and what are his jobbies like? Perhaps you could deliberately remove the toilet paper from the toilet then he would have to ask you to bring it in, or perhaps do this yourself when he is around and you! are doing a motion.


Kenneth
My most embarassing poop happened when I was eight. My mother had spread oil cloth on the kitchen table and laid me on it on my ????? naked in preparation for giving me a large soap suds enema because I had had the flu for several days and had not moved my bowels. Shortly after my mom had hung the soapy water filled enema can on the wall and inserted the rectal tip and started the water, the neighbor lady who lived next door came over to borrow some flour. I had a crush on her and was so embarassed to have her see me naked and getting an enema to boot! Her and my mom just talked away while my mom held the hose up my butt and I got a very big stomach ache. Then, while the lady was still there mom sat me on my potty chair in the middle of the kitchen and I began to crap and piss and fart in front of both of them!


Public Toilet Hater
Rick --

Cool, so there is someone else who poops behind bushes when the public toilet is too nasty to use. Does anyone else do this? It would be better to crap in the street than to contract some awful disease.

Maybe if we all starting doing our business in the great outdoors, someone would wise up and clean up the filthy excrement that covers the toilet seats.

One time I was driving through a large city in the midwest, when I needed to use the bathroom. I was about an hour from home. I stopped at several McDonalds, only to find poop all over the toilet seats. I stopped at rest areas, only to find poop and urine all over the seats. I kept holding it, and desperately searched for a bathroom that was not entirely filthy. I could not find one. Finally, I could not hold it any more. So, I loaded my pants. I crapped my pants full. It smelled horrible, and I had to sit in it for the hour's drive home, but that was better than sitting in someon! e else's manure.

I was speeding part of the time. I wonder what the police would have thought if they had pulled me over? I was going to tell them that I was speeding to try to reach a bathroom, but I didn't make it. Just imagine rolling that car window down, to speak to the officer.

You can contract hepatitis from the feces of an infected person. In a hospital, they treat the waste of an HIV-infected person as a biohazard. I don't see why anyone would be expected to use a public toilet that has fecal matter on the lid. Most men's rooms have poop on the seats and pee on the floors.

Didn't someone in Japan invent a super-toilet that disinfects itself after every use? The US should pass a federal law that requires such a toilet in every public restroom.


Hugh G.
On the subjet of making audio tapes of bowel movements... I was in the school band from sixth grade until I graduated, and we got to so on at least one overnight trip each year. An annual trip was the Buccaneer Days band competition in Corpus Christi, Texas. We didn't take the trip seriously, and only went because we stayed for three days at rented condominiums on the beach. Boys and girls were segregated, of course, and stayed four or five to a room. The rooms were fully furnished, and I used to steal silverware, and make frozen water balloons in the freezer. Anyway, one boy in another room secretly recorded the shitting sounds made by one of his roommates. We had a cookout that night, and spent the rest of the night on the beach, in the condominium's swimming pool, or just hanging out in each others' rooms. We had a premiere, of sorts, when the tape was unveiled while the "star" was on the beach. A group of 10 boys listened to about 15 minutes of straining, pushing, ! grunting, and splashing, as the "star" had a nasty bout of constipation, as often happens to him when travelling. We started calling hin "Splash" after that, and I don't think anyone ever told him why. Rection.


Monday, October 11, 1999


Dee
Les, when you gotta go, you gotta go, facilities or none. I remember one of my camping trips where there were no flush toilets - the 'toilet' was either this shallow hole-in-the-ground contraption with no water and three plastic sheets tied to poles, and open at one end - or you could take a spade and look for somewhere quiet. I didn't want to take the spade in front of everybody, though quite a few of the guys did, so I went to the 'toilet'. There were bluebottles buzzing around and I nearly puked from the smell even before I got there, but I really had to go, so I held my breath, squatted over the hole with my pants down and quickly laid a nice thick turd on top of the stinky mess that was already in there (since it was impossible to flush, most people just threw dirt or leaves on top, or just left everything right there). After that, I wiped, grabbed some leaves and threw them over the top. I met another girl on her way to the toilet as I left, still gagging from the smell,! and I told her maybe she should think about using the spade instead.

Someone asked a few pages back about peeing in the shower. I always pee in the shower unless I need to poop as well. If I need to poop, then I pee and poop in the toilet first, so that I can shower myself clean later. I can't poop without peeing. The combination of shower noise and sensation of flowing water always makes me want to pee, so holding it until I finish showering is not an option. I either aim at the drain and watch it come out in a stream, or else I don't bother and I just pee down my legs, and let the water wash everything away - anyway, it's sterile, so it's no big deal.

Related to this matter, I once peed in public, in full view of everybody, both male and female. I was at the swimming pool and badly needed to pee before I got in (I don't pee in pools - in the sea, yes, but not in pools). All the showers in the changing rooms were occupied, or out of order, and there were o! nly two toilet stalls, both occupied (there was a strong poop smell in the air, so I guessed the stalls might be occupied for some time) - so I had my pre-swim shower at the open shower, right next to the pool. As usual, showering made me want to pee, and since I already needed to go, I didn't try to hold it back. I thought it would be better to pee right there, where there was a drain, than to feel a constant need to pee during my swim. So I just pushed on the shower button (it was one of those taps where you have to hold it down or no water comes out) until the shower was strong enough to hide the extra liquid coming from between my legs, then happily peed away, through the crotch of my swimsuit. I tried to hold back a little and make it less powerful so that there wouldn't be an obvious 'yellow river', and it would be well-hidden by the water. Apart from the fact that I seemed to be having a rather long pre-swim shower (most people just stand there long enough to get wet, t! hen jump in the pool), I don't think anyone realised what I was doing. I felt much better for it, and enjoyed my swim!


Bryian
Any one see a commercial for this credit card company? It's called Aria or something like that. In this commercial there is this boy who is 6 0r 7 in a classroom with other student. He announces he has to use the bathroom bad. He jumps up and down and is crossing his legs. Then it says Aria and then it shows the boy running to the bathroom. Im assuming he had to pee. Wonder what he drank, that he had to pee so bad?


Daniel
Two days ago was the second time I've stood outside my locked bathroom door while my friend Nathaniel (16) took a shit. He comes round for lunch once a week and after I serve him coffee, he nearly always has to use the toilet. Both times I've heard him unzip and take his trousers down and sit down. Then he always grunts and sighs a little, then two or three healthy splashes as his turds fall into the bowl. Then another sigh when he's finished. Both times (significantly?) he's asked me in just after after he's flushed, while still buckling his belt.
Once to tell me he liked a picture in there, and the other to point out I had no soap for him to wash his hands. Both times I could smell the lingering aroma of his dump. Not a horrible smell, but just a normal boy's shit smell. Any of you know how I might be able to work things so I'm in there while he's doing it? Since he locks the door, I don't have much hope, but Nat's a really open, honest, no-bullshit sort of guy, so who ! knows? I'd appreciate any advice from you guys who've been able to persuade your males friends to allow you into the toilet with them while they shit.
'Bye for now, Daniel


cousin
I told Lind a a story and she bugged me to tell you guys. So what the heck you guys have been good to me. Well back in High School I knew a girl names Elena, and well she used to say she didn't have a feminie bone in her body. (Like I cared besides she was cool and well she could beat me and onyone at our school um. Not bad for someone 5'3 and oh so tone)Anyway she like me and Linda had an avertion to pooping at school. She complained about the conditon.. the long lines and the only one avaible was the doorless stall. As she put it I'd rather Shi* in my pants. Anyway she used to love to tease me.. mainly cause unlike most guys my age I start having a heart attack if i so much as see a girl's bra strap. ( No making fun guys or this WILL be the last stroy I post here!)Anyway one time at my house i went in to rinse out our mop in my bathtub (Anyone who has dogs that live inside instead of out will know why) when she came in and asked what i was doing. i told her. Any way i heard ! the door shut and didn't think much of it. I turned around and eaned the mop up against the wall and well got moon struck (Figure it out yourself. I'm not explaining I'm red enough)She then qickly sat down bare bottomed and let out a loud sigh. I as always took it comly and said, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!" She replyed.. isn't it obvious? as she let loose a LOUD torrent of pee. 9Unlike most girls I know and wlel i didn't know many Elena could hold her bladder for days if need be so i assumed this was one time she did) Anyway I was frozen stiff. then she leaned forward and said here it comes as she shut her eyes and started grunting. Sh ewas faking I know (NO ONE MAKES THIS MUCH NOISE) and laughed a lot then KASPLASH.. KAPLOP.. KERSPULNK!!! Then she sighed ahhhhhh that's a load off my mind. She then told me she had been holing it since she got to school.. seems her ????? was trying to make room for the big breakfast she had and well eat lunch made it worse. (I had noticed! she was a bit antsy and one time did hold her butt. When she saw that i saw she bluched , first time mind you, then moved her hand away) Anyway after i was able to think clearly again i asked why did you go now in front of me?! She smlied and said it was already poking out and well she knew i would never try anything.. that and it was worthing to see my face turn pale and red at the same time (Is that possible i don't know but at this point if she told me I grew wings and flew i'd believe her)Anyway there were a few more timy plops after that. Then when she reaches for the TP I bolted out the door FAST. After that she came out and said hey you missed the best part. I said no it's okay. After that she'd drag me in there with her when ever nature called. I knew it was time cause she'd be a tad be antsy and well she'd get the wicked grin on her face. Sigh. That girl.. i swaer.. around her I had no heart in my chest but suddenly had two adam's apples. Sigh.


Linda
Karen could you tell us about your rime at that campground? i would never have gone in there. Oh I finally got my cousin to write here again so enjoy.
XOXO
Linda Monica. I never poop at school and well I do what you did. My cousin knows the school nurse at my school and she let's me use her bathroom to poop. I usually just say i have a ????? ache so they let me go. 9I'm usually not lying,, my ????? hurts from trying to hold that huge poop inside me) Anyway she's very nice.. she even turns up the radio in her office so nothing is heard. Whew.. what a relief.. more ways that one. heh. Anyway sometimes i catch myself singing wih the music on the radio. Sigh. Oh this started cause well my cousin got owrried about me having anccident cause one day I was hloding it.. and well it stred come out in the car home.. don't worry i pooped in aplastic bag.. but man that was close. i still hld it but when it gets REALLy bad i ask to see the nurse.
XOXO
Linda


Rick
Thanks Gordon for your insite! It seems like our older teachers can show us youg folk a thing or two about dumping. I have actually been interested in the toilet habits of not just young ladies, but older women as well. I remember when I was 13 or so there was this 65 year old black cleaning lady who used to clean my parents house. She would come on Saturdays and both of my parents would make it a point to get lost for the day, so it would be just me and her there in the house all day. It seemed like it rained a lot of weekends that year, so I stayed in doors a lot while she was there cleaning. I remember, she ate a lot of fried foods and fatty foods, so when she went to the bathroom, you could hear what she was doing no matter where you were in the house. It seemed like she liked to use the toilet in the basement, and she would always leave the door open, so I could hear all of the grunts, farts and groans as she shitted out some monsterous turds. That downstairs bathroom wou! ld clog up a lot because the plumbing was not installed correctly when it was built, so I could often go in there after she finished and went upstairs to find the plunger. Wow, I would look in the bowl and see 4.5 inch round by 8 inch logs, 3 in the bowl at a time. And most of the time, they were what I call CORN DOGS, turds with light brown speckels through and through. I have always wondered what people eat to cause this, because I have never experienced it in any of my droppings. The fact is, most of the older ladies I have observed going to the bathroom (family members, etc.), have been very explosive and smelly, and drop large masses.

Hi Jasmine, good to hear from you!


Nicola
If part of this post is repeated I apologise. My computer crashed when I was typing the first part and I had to reload.

Anyway, I pleased that Buzzy liked my second, easier, motion on what I called "Super Pooper Tuesday" . It didnt break up in the pan the way Buzzy's did but was what I would call an easy motion, smooth, softer than the lumpy log I had dropped that morning at home but of a dough like consistancy. Eileen, one of my colleagues, buddy dumped an eight incher and a 6 incher on top of it but it took about 4 flushes to get the combined load to go away. Mike, I do eat a lot, a healthy balanced diet, but also exercise a lot. What goes in must come out. Yes, everyone has these pouches in the colon, these are called "haustrae" in medical terms. As to your stools being softer and thinner than your wife's I would examine your diet. Perhaps there is a lack of bulk in yours, fibre or roughage as it is otherwise called. There is a lot of debate on this page about wome! n doing larger turds than men. I would say this is true for thickness as the lumen, (thickness) of the female rectum does seem to be wider than the male, but in length of jobbie produced it seems to be about equal. I dont think snacking has any connection I know lots of men who snack but its doesnt seem to affect the size of their motions. Perhaps its as a result of women having different abdominal structures to accomdate the womb etc and the lifestyle of some women making it necessary to hold it in when needing a motion to attend to the kids etc,when a man would just GO. Conversely however, a women brings her arse into the firing position when she does a pee so if she is also needing a number two she will probably do it as well, this has often happened with me, I have gone into the toilet for a wee wee, but although I didn't feel that I needed a motion when I went in, a big jobbie has come down and I have done it as well. If a man or boy stands to pee as is usually the case ! ,he is less likely to bring on a motion unless it is very soft, so a boy could hold in a firm motion while standing to pee, a far more difficult thing for a girl or woman to do as she sits to do a wee wee. Any other readers have observations about this?

Monica, its good that there are kind people about when someone has an accident in their panties. I have never had your inhibitions about using a school toilet but accidents can happen for all sorts of reasons. It can happen to all of us, I have done a jobbie by accident in my knickers on a few occasions as I have told in old posts and no big deal was made about it by my mum or others. The thing is to avoid such events happening by sufficient provision of toilets at school or work and a reasonable attitude towards letting pupils or workers use them without a lot of embarrasing rigmarole. Certainly that teacher who was charging pupils a quarter to go out to the toilet resulting in one pupil shitting themselves was way ou! t of line and should have been disciplined by the School Head or management. I know that some people will abuse toilet time but there are ways of controlling such mis-use and skiving without causing problems for the genuine person who only wants to perform their natural functions in the proper place then return to class or workplace.

Lovely to read of an elderly couple, Gordon and Gladys who have enjoyed sharing their toilet activities for many years. There is a precedent for younger couples to follow. John if you read back through the Old Posts you will find umpteen stories about women who buddy dump with their husbands or boyfriends. Its a lot more common than you think.

Les, I blame parental conditioning for many people not being able to do a motion out of doors when camping etc. I have never had this problem, the only time I had to do it in my knickers rather than out of doors was when I didnt make it home one day coming back from school as a teenager. I ! was walking down my own road but couldn't have gone in somebody's garden , hitched up my skirt, pulled my panties down and dumped on their lawn, and I didnt know anyone at that end of the road to knock their door and ask to use their toilet. What was so annoying was to be within five minutes walk of my house and I could even see it at the end of the road but not being able to make it before the big turd came out into my knickers. As regards people having a block about doing a motion in the countryside its a combination of upbringing were a kid is told that defecation is a dirty thing to be ashamed of etc and an atavistic reaction as we are at our most vulnerable while squatting to pee or shit. Having seen the filthy state of some campsite toilets I have often chosen to do it on the bushes or on the beach or whatever not in the campsite facilities.

Billy, a similar incident happened to me when I was going through the program with the principle at my Sports Centre. He ! is a man in his 30s and athlete like myself but is more on the Admin side these days. I needed a motion so said, "I'll just go off to the ladies" but he replied, "That's okey Nicky, just use my toilet " meaning the one off his office. I was a bit diffident as I knew what would probably happen but could hardly refuse so sat there and did a big fat turd which of course stuck. After two flushes it was still stuck but he came to the toilet door and said , "oh dont worry if it wont go away, I'll sort it out later", so I just left it there for him to see and got on with planning my groups for the winter-spring seasons. No comment was made when I saw him later in the canteen, but my reputation for dropping torpedoes is well enough known by the other staff anyway.


Joshua
Do women always wipe their pee holes after peeing? If this is ususal, are there any that don't?


Has anyone ever cassette taped themselves taking a crap? It's especially funny when you have diarrhea, and even better when you're throwing up at the same time. I've tried it and it is so gross, its funny (this only works when you have an attack at home) Try it and post your results

Does anyone have any good diarrhea stories? those are the most amusing. Post 'em


Sunday, October 10, 1999


Bryian


Today at school at the end of my class i heard some guys say they had to poop. But i think they held it cause i didn't see any one go to the bathroom. does any one know how and what the bathrooms are like at pa culinary school in pittsburg pa? I might be studing there next year or in a few years.

Tonight at work i went to use the mens room. I went in there after the big dinner rush and my co-worker(a girl) was in the mens room cleaning.


Gordon (Toilet loving OAP)
Most of the people who write here seem to be either in their late forties or early fifties, the babyboomers, or teen twenty types. Myself and my wife Gladys are in our seventies but have enjoyed watching each other doing our number twos and "buddy dumping" since we got married after the second world war.

When I grew up in Manchester as a kid in the 1930s we had an outside toilet in the yard. As a result we used "chamber pots" to do our toilet functions in the evening, at night or if it was wet,and emptied these down the toilet the following morning. I therefore often saw the motions done by my mother and older sisters and even as a kid I got a buzz from this and from hearing them doing the toilet if I was playing in our yard when they used our outside toilet. For American and younger readers this was a narrow tall brick building at the end of the yard with a door which was open at the top any bottom by about a foot. Thus you could see the feet of the person using the toilet so knew who it was and could hear every sound. The toilet pan itself was of the old white type with a long drop from the brown wooden seat to the water and a high cistern with a chain to pull to flush it. This took about five minutes to fill so it was quite common in our family to see other's turds still lying in the toilet pan. The sound effects were always fantastic and I would often be playing in the yard when my mum would come out to do a motion after lunch as she normally did, I could see her feet as she sat there and her white cotton directoire bloomers, the type of underwear that women wore in the 1930s before briefs became more popular, round her ankles and hear the tinkle as she peed then the "UH! EH! NNN!" sounds as she did her motion followed by the loud "PLONK! KUPLOONK! and KUR-SPLOONK! KER-SPLONK!" sounds as her fat turds plunged into the pan. If the cistern hadn't filled up she would leave it to the next user to flush the toilet and none of use was embarrased about such matters. I often saw what she had done. Her motions weren't usually the huge 12 inch plus torpedoes, (she occasionally did a single really long one if she had been constipated for a few days), that many people who write here mention but firm knobbly logs of about 2 inches thick and she usually passed 3 or 4 jobbies varying in length the largest about 7 or 8 inches long the smaller ones about 5 inches with the odd hard ball or two. Even as a kid although I didnt learn this phrase until I found this website, I used to enjoy "buddy dumping " my own motions on top of hers or those done by my sisters.

School was equally good from the toilet point of view, the boys toilets brick buildings at the far end of the playground with 8 toilet cubicles with doors like those of our toilet at home open for about a foot at top and bottom. the inside walls were tiled and the far wall had hand basins and a large open slab urinal, (no doubt the urinal fans here would have loved it and yes, the lads did have "see who can pee the highest contests"). Anyway, you could hear the other lads doing their number twos and as kids will often leave the toilet unflushed I used to see their turds lying in the pan. The Girls toilet had of course no urinal but had 12 wc cubicles instead of the 8 in the Boys.

I was 16 when the war ended and met Gladys when I started my first job, she was a clerk in the wages office of our factory, a plain, plump, but very friendly girl. We had to wait till we were 21 to get married, but long engagements were not unusuall in those days. I found that she wasn't as prudish as many girls in those days as she had been sent to a farm in the countryside , what was called evacuation, when the war broke out and toilet facilities were very open there. Consequently, she didn't mind using the toilet when I was shaving or me when she was washing her hair, our having been lucky to get one of the post war council (social) houses with an inside toilet and bathroom. I therefore was able to see her doing her motions and vice versa.

Gladys and I are both 71 and I still accompany her to the toilet as I have done for 50 years and watch as she passes her big solid lumps, not unlike my mum's motions detailed above but sometimes Gladys will "do it all in a oner" as she delicately puts it, and pass a big fat torpedo. I since my teens have tended to do big jobs myself every couple of days passing a panbuster or two 8 inch logs.

I hope this interests readers that even oldies can be turned on by defecation, buddy dumping, and other toilet matters.


Banana up my butt
Hey:

If any of the people on this site were able to wipe the butt of any person that they chose, after that individual takes a crap, whose butt would any of you most like to wipe, and why?

Banana up my butt


Billy
True story about a guy I know. He's a teacher and one day he's in a meeting with the headmaster and needs the toilet. He says excuse me a moment, and the head says "Oh, don't go all the way to the staff loos, use my private one." So he goes in there and has a crap, but it won't flush away. Obviously he doesn't want to leave a turd floating in the toilet that only the head uses, so after trying everything else he eventually pushes it round the bend with the toilet brush. That's one problem solved, but now the brush is all shitty, so he goes to rinse it in the sink, only to find that there's a problem with the water pressure and it blasts out full force and sprays dirty water everywhere. When he's finally got the place cleaned up he notices the head's toothbrush sitting by the sink! He just left it there.




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