Hi - all, it's nice to be back - hope everyone here in the States had a great holiday.
Cammy - I agree completely with you about the forced straining. I prefer not to push at all and even when I do push., it's only as hard as necessary to encourage things to move. Pushing is too uncomfortable and it can hurt if I push too hard. If I use Steph's tips I find I can have a nice poop without too much pushing and without taking up half the day. As for real straining - well that happens occasionally when I get truly constipated, but that is not too often. In any case I would like to have a natural remedy for constipation as a standby and a plain water enema is beginning to look very attractive - mostly because it works within minutes and it's not chemical and doesn't contain irritants.
Bill - I don't know whether we girls pee at different angles in the bowl. In my case the sound does change depending on how badly I need to pee. If it's just a "Let's pee before leaving the house" type of pee, it's very gentle and just tinkles into the water. If it's a "Oh my goodness I'm going to pee in my undies" type of pee then it can hiss a little as the stream comes out with a lot of force. Just out of interest, if all I have to do is pee then I tend to just rest my elbows on my knees so I do lean forward slightly. If I'm doing a poo at the same time however I lean well forward, sometimes with my head between my knees if it's very slow coming out. Either way I haven't noticed any great changes in the sound my pee makes. Hope this helps.
Sandra - Judging from your posts you actually seem to get a high from pooping in your panties, but don't you ever get worried that your poop might turn out to be really loose and leave you in a terrible mess? I would also be worried that it would smell. Don't you think you are taking a really big risk?
Moira - I'm glad I'm not alone, I really appreciate your support. I think you are right on regarding the reasons for my habit of holding my poop in until I'm absolutely bursting. You are probably also right when you say my problem of sitting on the toilet only to have the urge disappear is also related to my mother's fixation with my BMs. Also, my summer job is in retail and you are certainly correct in saying that it's just not possible to go to the toilet as soon as you feel a poo poo coming down. But most of all I really loved your understanding about being hurried when doing a poop. Because I normally take a long time to poo, there have been many occasions when others have wanted me to go faster. Well, from now on I don't care who's waiting, my poo comes first.
Sue - I guess it looks like both our moms gave up when we were in our early teens. No, my mom never gave me an enema, she always made me take laxative tablets the night before. She still makes my 14 year old sister Melanie take them and like I said in an earlier post, I think Melanie is not the rebel that I am and she doesn't complain too much. Perhaps because she didn't use enemas, the thought of an enema as a natural way to help relieve occasional constipation actually sounds very attractive to me. By the way, when your mom gave you your enema, did it ever make a mess - I mean like spilling out of your butt for instance before you actually went to the toilet?
Jillian - Looks like your mom also changed when you were in your early teens - at least she let you push the soap in yourself. I still don't think I could cope with that indignity. At least she made the piece of soap small enough not to hurt. I don't notice my period affect my bowel habits too much and I haven't noticed any particular foods which make things worse. As you might gather I am looking for a gentle, natural remedy for very occasional constipation which works within the hour. It's nice to see you find success with the glycerin suppositories. I think it's either that or the plain water enema for me.
Tony (UK) & Buzzy - Thanks for answering my question. - Wow, I'm learning really new stuff here. I had never heard of pressure on the prostate before. I had heard about the other things that Buzzy very discretely mentioned, but this is new stuff. Incidentally, as I'm sure you know, I like to have a friend with me when I poop or be with a friend when they poop, but these friends are all girls. I have never been in the toilet with a boy - so I was really curious. Thanks a lot guys - all my love.
Anna - Yes I have had to poop standing up. As a matter of fact my first experience at a standing poop over a toilet happened only a short while ago and just a few days after I'd had a terrible "Accident" in the mall parking lot where I work my summer job. I tell you, that was not my week! Anyway, It was 3 in the afternoon at the boutique and Sandy dutifully came in on time letting me go for my one hour break (Retail is so much fun!?). It had been an unusually busy afternoon and although Erica was working with me there was no time to spare for the restroom except for a pee. But the fact was that since before mid day I had been getting the growing sensations of a poo poo building up in my bum although they never became so insistent that I had to hold it back. In any case I wasn't too concerned because even when I had taken a nice long pee an hour or so before, I gave my poop every opportunity to come out but it obviously wasn't ready. So I made for the bathroom at the back of the store and what do I find - the door is locked. I didn't even bother to knock, I assumed Sandy was in there and in any case it was not yet an emergency so I left the boutique and joined the shoppers out on the upper level walkway and headed for the ladies room at the far end. There were only three stalls and I could see the second two were already occupied. I soon found out why, the first stall had no toilet seat, only a bare bowl and the thought of trying to sit on cold porcelain just made me shudder. Now should I wait to see if one of the other stalls became vacant. I heard a groan come from the next stall followed by a short very wet sounding movement and I knew that stall would likely remain occupied for a while. There was no sound at all from the last stall - not even the sound of pee splashing, so again I figured its occupant was probably enjoying a bm and there was little chance of that stall becoming vacant any time soon. Now - having suffered a "Bad Accident" only days before, I'm still very "Poop Shy" to say the least so I decided I would just have to use the broken toilet and do my thing standing up. I went in, shut the door and bolted it firmly. I pulled down my panties until they rested just above my knees and hoisted my skirt up to my waist. Now I had to make sure my bum was over the bowl - what if I missed and had to pick it all up off the floor? I bent my knees and hovered just above the bowl. I was as sure as I could be that when my poo came out it would drop into the water, but I soon found out that this was an extremely uncomfortable position. I tried standing up but I knew that would probably leave my butt rather messy and in any case when I sit I always lean over to poop just to make it as easy as possible to come out. This wasn't going to be easy - I have pooped outdoors where there was nothing to sit on, but I had never had to stand over a toilet. After some trial and error I ended up bending over, resting my arms on my legs above my knees and clasping my hands pretty much between my knees. This seemed as comfortable as I could get and by this time I was getting pretty desperate to relax my bum hole and let my poop come out. I looked behind once more, satisfied myself I wouldn't make a mess on the floor and with relief let my hole relax. At the same time I peed and it splashed so loud I thought the whole world would hear it. Oh was I glad when it faded away to nothing except for the last few drops which I squeezed out. Now normally I would wipe myself after peeing but this time I didn't get a chance. No sooner had I finished peeing, I felt what I thought was my poo coming out but to my horror discovered it was just gas. I turned red with embarrassment because I normally have almost no trouble with gas but this time there was a lot and it was very loud. Almost immediately afterwards my poo did start to come out and within no time it seemed, my hole was opening wider and wider until (I would guess) 2 or 3 inches of very firm poop were hanging from my butt. Then, which is very unusual for me, because my poops are normally very firm and stiff, several more inches came out which were fairly soft and broke off to fall with a huge splash into the bowl. This was followed after only a few seconds by three more good sized poops, all of which landed with an equally huge splash in the toilet. Mercifully I felt my little hole close back up and the satisfying feeling of a nicely finished bm spread throughout my butt - it was all over. Even so I now felt very self conscious about the noise I had made which had so effectively advertised the most intimate details of my toilet to the other two women in the bathroom. Anyway I took several sheets of toilet paper, bent over even further to open up my butt and wiped myself. Even the noise of the toilet roll spinning as I pulled off the paper and the gentle tear of the sheets seemed deafening. Satisfied that I was clean I flushed the toilet, pulled up my panties, pulled down my skirt, smoothed it out, opened the stall door and made for the wash basins. I had just turned on the water when the stall next to mine flushed and a middle aged very stocky woman emerged. The first thing she did was look into my stall and ten turn her gaze to me. The door was still open and of course there was no toilet seat. I could see it written all over the woman's face. "You disgusting little girl, you fart and you pee and you poo standing up - you're an animal". I've thought about that since and I wonder what upset her - what on earth made her look at me with such undisguised disgust. Who are these "My poo doesn't stink" people anyway - what is their problem? I like to think it was probably the fact that I'm young, very petite, and, people have told me, pretty. I was also very smartly dressed, and to add insult to injury I also had a much better poop than she did. I'm s! ure the noise I made left her in very little doubt about that. I think she was just plain jealous. Luckily this is about the only time this has happened so I suppose I shouldn't complain. Have any of you guys got weird looks or comments from strangers in the restroom?
To Kathy: You can pee standing up to just like a guy! Itīs easier in a skirt or dress but after some practise you might be able to go through the fly in a pair of Jeans. You have to lift and part your labia and push hard to avoid getting wet but itīs possible. Does any of the other readers know anything about women peeing standing?
This will be my name since we have the JC Penny's Ryan here. Anyway this is a special request for SPARKY. Please tell me some stories about you or other people taking a dump at school. I;d say ages between 9-14. I don't know how old you are but that's the ages. Thanks!
yes, i pooped my once 2 year ago i was at school and I just eaten lunch when my ???? statred to hurt . I did not think anything of it at the time. but latter on that day after school I was walking home and it hit me again but worst. I started holding my ????. but it was not helping much. So I started walking faster. it seemed to get hotter out side which did not help. I was in one block of my house. when it habbened. it felt like a little fart at first so I let it go . that was not a good idea. the poop came out like water. I could not stop. I had pants on to. when i finlly did stop it hurt. so i just let the rest go it ran all over the underwear an pants. i finlly got home jump in the shower and clean up no one ever found out.
Hi! This is some site! Although the social aspects of pooping are not particularly "my thing", I DID want to add a testimony on behalf of the absolute good sense of adults encouraging their kids - and as often as possible "role-modelling" their encouragement in sensible ways - to pee outdoors, without fear, inhibition or embarrassment, instead of believing that they must always "run indoors" to use a private toilet. Peeing outdoors is a natural human right. Comedian and social activist Dick Gregory calls it "An Act Of God". And to those prudes who are "outraged" by the "obscenity" of the statement, I merely pose the point-blank question: "How many flush toilets did Jesus use in his lifetime?!" Yet the Puritanical English-speaking world still treats peeing outdoors as some sort of crime. In the non-English speaking world, permission for kids to pee outdoors when they need to, with sensible discretion, ROUTINELY EXISTS. In much of Europe (France, Belgium and Finland are especial! ly free), this tacit social permission extends even to grown-up males, as well as to the more adventurous women who are willing to learn the genteel art of "peeing standing up" without disrobing (see the great web site dedicated to this gender-equality topic at restroom). But our English-speaking world remains a basion of absurdly priggish uptightness.
Anyway, I would urge and encourage socially enlightened, free-thinking males in our Puritanical culture to start "role-modelling" a much more easy and comfortable attitude toward peeing outdoors, in reasonably discreet places and circumstances. I think it's especially important for adults to do it consciously when kids will take note, since kids' values are still malleable around the issue of their natural human freedom. I also think it's particularly important to "role model" expressions of such appropriate freedom for our children, since it clearly conveys to them an implied "adult permission" to adopt this comfortable and liberated behavior themselves. English-speaking children still grow up in a very Puritanical and body-negative environment. And those of us who appreciate the beauty of our natural physical equipment, and the stuff it does, need to take positive steps to counter this negativity.
I can tell you that as recently as the 1950s and 1960s, it was very common for pre-adolescent boys playing pick-up games outdoors (at least in the absence of adults) to just say to their pals, "I'm gonna take a piss"...and walk a little bit off, perhaps to a tree or a rear building wall, or behind a baseball dugout, and relieve themselves in the presence of their peers. I was a boy. I was there. I lived it. My very favorite memory involves "awesome parabolas" regularly squirted by several boys in turn, whenever nature called, out the door of a tree house in the woods, to the ground twenty feet below! Perhaps this delightful mischief still takes place in "boy groups" today. But the evidence I receive now is of a much greater uptightness and paranaoia about doing it. Kids are being brainwashed with social propaganda about maintaining "totalitarian genital privacy", which goes WAY beyond any common-sense advice about not allowing themselves to be messed with by other people.
The recent paranoid social uptightness has gotten SO bad that in newly constructed elementary and high schools, the venerable traditional "urinal wall" or "communal trough" of large boys' bathrooms has been replaced with private urinals set inside individual walled barriers or "shame shields". These "shame shields" guarantee that NO boy will EVER AGAIN have a casual chance to see a schoolmate's penis. They also send the subliminal social/sexual message that it is SHAMEFUL to see (or to be curious to see) another boy's penis. This is utterly paranoid and quasi-fascist bullshit; and yet it's now becoming the repressive norm in a society going "crackers" over the simple fact that human beings are born with wonderful sexual equipment. It is simply NOT SHAMEFUL OR SINFUL to use our equipment in a socially relaxed and appropriate way, nor to be curious about how our "peers" look. It is a perfectly normal and natural human curiosity, especially among children. Driving that natural curiosity underground in such a massive way can only cause emotional repression and neurosis.
How do you help to restore some semblance of natural freedom and sanity in this situation? Well, unless you're lucky enough to live in France, Belgium or Finland, you're not going to "role-model" much of anything except discredited "social degeneracy" by pissing in the gutter of a main street, unless you're ten beers under, it's after midnight, and lots of other guys are doing the same thing! But there are plenty of secluded little nooks and crannies and "social opportunities" that can be used for role-modelling "the perfect normalcy of peeing" in most parks and natural areas, as well as the practice of non-chalantly "going behind dumpsters" in urban alleyways. In other words, choose a place where your visibility makes it reasonably clear that you're not ashamed to pee, while still maintaining enough social discretion and prudence to indicate that you have no intention of being deliberately offensive or obnoxious or boorish about it. Each possible situation needs to be "tuned" vibrationally for its degree of comfort and safety. This should be, after all, an ENJOYABLE, SENSUAL, PLEASURABLE HUMAN ACTIVITY...not one fraught with socially-induced fear and paranoia!
I'd be curious to hear from other guys who may have perspectives (and direct evidence) to share concerning two major points. First, whether it was their own growing-up experience (as it was mine), playing with other boys outdoors, that "freedom to piss in the presence of other boys" was taken easily and without much social inhibition. (In what decade did this experience occur?) And secondly, whether they perceive that this natural freedom (and basic human right) to piss with social and comfort among one's peers, indoors or outdoors, is being ruined among today's boys by the onslaught of paranoid propaganda, received at school and elsewhere, which urges them to remain OBSESSIVELY VIGILANT about always concealing their genitals from everybody else, under any and all social circumstances, until perhaps their wedding night. (At least I presume this would be the ideal preference of the hard-core Religious Right, who seem to be at the very least "vigorous contributors" to this socia! l paranoia!)
It has been my experience that vast numbers of male kids (through college age) now ROUTINELY choose to pee in private stalls in public men's rooms, when previously the use of a urinal would have been the automatic preference for any young man. The situation appears to be that if even ONE urinal of a row of six is occupied, most young men will treat the ENTIRE WALL (intended to accommodate six guys) as though it were a "single occupied toilet", and go immediately to a private stall. I can also report that in the large gymnasium shower rooms of the major university which is my home base, vast numbers of younger students now routinely shower in their bathing suits, and then go through absurd gyrations and contortions to change from bathing suit to underwear while remaining completely wrapped in a towel! These ridiculously prudish practices are NEVER engaged in by the older faculty and staff. I believe this is the living legacy among today's kids of our newly inculcated social uptightness about ever letting one's equipment be made visible, even to another male, even casually. It is an inculcated attitude which is profoundly homophobic at its roots; profoundly insulting to those of us who celebrate and appreciate the natural beauty of our male equipment; and profoundly in need of RADICAL CULTURAL RENOVATION and active "counter-role-modelling", to restore the much more enjoyable physical ease and comfort with which boys played together and related socially, until very recently.
Your comments are warmly invited! Private replies may also be sent to Aster at:
To LIZKA-Great story,I've had the same thing happen to me every one in a while.I think every now and then,we all get backed up slightly and our body purges itself in this way and why it happens in the middle of the night( and it always does!)I'll never know.Super story!TO CAMMI-If that's your real name,Sorry about that.Sounded like a girl's name.Hey, get off the soap box about you caring about girls bouts with constipation.Everyone has bouts with it once in a while and it's not plesant,but who are you to judge what other people feel on this forum?Everyone posts on here for their own reasons and just leave it at that--Sorry about the gander mix up!HEY DAZZ-Used the video camera at the beach the other day and it was pretty cool.Got to the beach and i had to go pretty bad and set up the camera facing the water and i squatted in front of it and let it go.Then i rewound it and watched it.At first i saw the view of the water and then i walked into the shot and squatted down and you saw my asshole start to pucker out and and you heard me grunt a bit and then fart and you could see my anus open up and this long turd start coming out.Then i let the turd hang there for a bit as you could see my open asshole go in and out.I nver quite saw it that way before and it was in a weird way, a turn on.Then i let the turd go and it was about 10 inches long. then you saw me pushing my asshole in and out and then after about 2-3minutes of that some more soft mush made it's way out my tingling anus.It was a nice load.I'm going to do this again sometime when i REALLY got to poo bad.I'm sure that will be a good show.Thanks for the idea,DAZZ It was cool,(I should send you a copy!)BYE
Sandra: I never poop myself while other people are around. I don't think I possibly could except for the one time it exploded into my panties having a violent diarrhea. I am so shy about having to go I can only poop when nobody is around and when I am totally relaxed. That is why I end up getting constipated and why the urge to go hits me when I cannot go and the urge is gone by the time I can go. When I end up in that situation I prepare for a long relax window shopping session and when the urge hits me then, I drop it in my panties. Taking a long relax drive in my car works out too but has some disadvantages: It is hard to lift my butt for a minute or so while driving (otherwhise I don't manage to push the firm turd out) and, since I have to sit in it, it is a lot messier to clean up afterwards. This may all sound silly, but this is how I avoid getting badly constipated without taking any medicines.
Sparky, thanks. That's what I was told as a kid. Thanks again for clearing that up.
well today was the strangest poop day in a while. i got up at like 1 in the afternoon and took a massive poo i assume from the buildup of weekend foods that disrupted my schedule of normaly going. so i ate lunch at like 4 i had a salad from a pizza place with cheese and turkey and stuff like that on it. about an hour later i had terrible cramps that told me i had to go NOW!! so i went to the toilet and pulled my shorts down and white cotton briefs and blasted 6 waves of the hottest smelliest shit ever. i dont know if it had anyhting to do with the salad but man it was bad. i wiped about 12 times got up pulled my pants up and right back down cuz i had to go again. i went not as much as before but it was more liquified and hotter than the first. i felt i was done pushed as hard as i could and then wiped again pulled my shorts up and left.
i have another observation i made. since school ended i have been not too normal. during the school year i would eat the same breakfast lunch was at the same time and not always the same and dinner was at the same time. now since school ended and i started working even though i go everyday its always mushy and smelly and requires more wiping. does anyone notice that? if so let me know.
A few weeks ago i was with my sister and parents on vacation in New York City. We were staying in a double room motel, and I was sharing a room with my sister. I woke up at 2 a.m. with the worst cramps in teh world. I limped over to teh bathroom, clutching my stomach, and plopped down on teh pot. I couldn't believe how bad my stomach hurt! I truied to get the diarrhea to coem out, but none would. I made four dry trip s to teh bathroom, and on the fifth trip i was sitting, praying and cursing, and a river of diarrhea gushed out of my butt! The toilet wa scompletely filled by teh time I was done! the smell was so awful that it woke my sister! She said "Dani, what are you doing?" and I told her I was sick and she thought i meant I had vomitted, but I explained that it was diarrhea. She asked me what color it was. She's really weird sometimes, but any way, I finished up my painful liquid BM with some deadly farts and then I went back to sleep.
Hello everybody, I have yet another post, matt stayed at my house this weekend and I wet myself and did a poo in my shorts. Matt had massive skidmarks in his pants at the weekend and at school today he was still wearing the same pants as I saw when we got changed for Pe. Are there any other people on this site who end up doing a wee and poo's in there pants or knickers who are also teenagers? Does anybody have bad skidmarks in there underwear and have you ever been caught in dirty underwear? Talking about wiping habits, sometimes I don't wipe and I don't think my friend matt does. Does anybody else not bother to wipe? Sorry about all the questions but I have posted a lot about me and I was just interested in some of the people who reads my posts but don't post themselves.
Hey Laaayydies!Hi everyone whoever mentioned the Blink182 CD Ive seen it(The Nurse Rulez!)But I didnt get it, just saw it.Just for the record I had gas BIG TIME today, I hardly ever get gas, but the 4th of July Festivities worked me down I think!Torie, Whats Up???neener neener neener, I have Testicles also!(Hah, beat that!) Anyways I woke up this morning and my 1st thought was "Get up stupid *ss let me out!" So I walked to the can and for the few times that I have a softer poopee(heh heh)I had one after the spicy steaks last night, Id describe it, but there isnt much to describe, I went, I sat, It came, It left, thats how the story went!I heard my 28 year old cousin fart a whole bunch over the weeekend(I stayed at my aunts)I also Saw her on the can, but didnt inspect, just passed by! Well, sorry to be short, I have to hurry off to the can now, before I put a divitt in the chair! BYE!
Tuesday, July 06, 1999
I watched Ricky Martin on the Tonight Show last night. Has anyone ever fantasized about these hot stars taking a dump? Obviously all the studs we see on TV have the same bathroom experiences we all do! They have to shit, I'm sure they have been constipated or had the runs, even skid marks! I wonder how soon before Ricky performed he took a crap? And where? In his hotel room, or dressing room?
When it comes to wiping, I think an important factor is the length of one's arm in relation to the torso. I think I have kind of short arms and it's hard for me to reach around my hip to wipe my butt that way, so I reach between my legs. I recall my mother taught me to wipe by leaning over and reaching around and only when I was in my late teens did I figure out it was easier the other way. I sometimes hold my scrotum and penis up out of the way with my other hand if necessary. But it seems to me that most people I have had the occasion to observe wiping, male or female, use the around the side method for butt wiping. But I'm thinking since women have much wider hips than men, sometimes it must be more difficult to reach around. Also, since females are supposed to wipe from front to back, maybe that's more difficult to do in reaching between the legs. But I still think arm length has a lot to do with it.
Hey! I've been a lurker on this site for a few weeks, but didn't have anything to say until today when I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and my stomach was bloated like a balloon about to burst and my insides felt as though they were full of hot coals. With beads of sweat on my upper lip, I got out of bed and, holding my distended abdomen, hoping that my warm hands would soothe the turmoil inside, I walked purposefully out of my room and down the hall to the toilet. I pulled down my underwear and sat. As I pushed down on my sphincter, my belly seized up with cramps so bad I let out a soft moan. Unfortunately, that was all that came out. I pushed again, which brought on another wave of cramps, but no relief, not even a dry fart. I stood up and pulled on my underwear, walked back down the hall and got into bed. Right after I lay down, my stomach went rigid and a cramp like an arrow shot into my bowel. I felt a strange and painful gurgling as though boiling water was rushing through my intestines. Then my bowel spasmed and a burning sensation filled my rectum. I got out of bed, and walked quickly in the direction of the toilet, squeezing in my anal sphincter as hard as I could. About three steps away from the bathroom door, my bowel spasmed again and the pressure on my anus became unbearable. I was going to lose control! I lunged for the toilet, yanking down my underwear, and I dropped onto the seat just in time to explode into the bowl with the force of a firehose. The relief was incredible. I sat there for a moment in bliss, and then reached for the paper. Suddenly, my insides churned again and I doubled over with cramps as the lava in my ???? made its burning, gurgling way through the twists and turns of my intestines and reached my bowel. I felt my rectum fill again, but this time there was no resistance from my sphincter and the hot liquid poured out of me in a steady stream. When it stopped, I strained, trying to push out anything that was left inside of me. Another spurt. I pushed again, more cramps, and I emptied some more. This straining and emptying continued for about five minutes, with some flushing in between. Finally, there seemed to be nothing left. I grabbed the toilet seat with both hands and bore down on my sphincter with all the strength I had left. Nothing. Satisfied, I wiped, stood up and pulled up my underwear. I made it halfway to my bedroom before I had to run back to the toilet.
Melissa; to answer your question, my mom used soapy water mostly,Maybe plain water sometimes.I always hated for her to give me enemas and when I was 15 she knew she couldnt make me take them anymore.Did your mom ever give them to u?
Hi all - Scout Story as promised. When I was in the Scouts ( about 7 years ago now) we went to a camp for a week of the school hoildays every summer. We actually had reasonable toilets (stone pit surrounded by sheets for #1) and elsan (chemical) toilets for #2. Elsans are best described as being like normal toilets, but with a bucket instead of a bowl. These were put in individual tents for privacy & hygene(sp??). One year we arrived on the Saturday, and the weether was HOT. The leaders were always quite strict about ensuring that no-one went too long without a motion. Anyway, by the Wednesday, one boy still hadn't pooped, but he was passing some wicked gas. On the Wendesday, he was given a laxative drink, made at double the reccomended dosage, just before we retired for the night. I was the oldest boy their, so I was in charge of "night time emergencies". Just after 4am, I was woken by a boy from another patrol, to inform me that the constipated boy was stinking out his tent. When I got near his tent, I was almost gassed! Gassy, as he had been called, was pulled from the tent still sleeping, and removed from his sleeping bag. He was then woken and ordered to the elsan tent. Just as I went to unzip the door, there was a major rumble from his stomach, and he pulled down his shorts & underwear, literally jumped into the bog tent and dumped a MASSIVE load of logs (several were like tree branches in apperance) in about 3 seconds flat. This was followed by a very wet fart, and lots of mud. He then wiped several times and started walking back to his tent . BAD MOVE. He had to fly back onto the bog and there he stayed until about 6:30am. He still had to dash to the toilet several times that day (Thursday). I didn't envy the person who had to empty that elsan. If you want more stories, please just ask. There are lots. BTW, Sparky is not my real name.
Sometimes I find myself in situations where doing a BM in my pants is te only option. Does anyone have any tips on doing a BM in your pants without creating much of a mess.
I got this In my e-mail....It Is a joke hope you enjoy Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. "You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you." "But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny. "Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"
ok this is like my first post here so go along with me. it takes me too long to type with capitalization so if you dont wanna read past here dont bother even though it will be good. ok this past weekend i was at the lake and there was a bad storm and there was no power. asside from the been being cold you cant flush the toilet because the well is electric. we were there for 4 days and i knew this would be interesting because of the masses of people there and no toilet. the first day was no big deal cuz most everyone did #2 home before they left for the lake. day number 2 was going to get good though. im a 16 year old male by the way. saturday morning my sister(shes 13 normal pain in the ass sister at times nice at others)since i was up asked me if i would go into the woods with her while she peed. i said ok cuz i didnt really care annd i figured i'd be nice to her and maybe she wouldnt be a brat the whole weekend. so i went out with her and she pulled down her sweat pants and panties and squated. i had seen her pee before as she had seen me seeing as how we shared a bathroom home. she started to pee and it was like a waterfall of yellow pee. she peeded for like 1 minute strong then it trinkled down to nothing. she was like did you bring me something to wipe with i had a napkin i gave her she wiped *note* back to front and then gave it back to me! then about noon everyone was down on the dock and the people next door came over. they have a daughter whos 15 and a nice pretty girl. i aksed her if she wanted to go for a ride on our jetski she said ok. so we were going it was pretty bumpy and i felt like i needed to take a crap but i wasnt gonna pull onto shore witha girl with me so i held it. like 10 minutes later she goes oh my god i have gotta go to the bathroom! so i siad what do you want me to do about it. she siad go over to that island and i'll go there. i pulled over and tied up the jetski. she started to go into the woods and was like arent you coming. i was like yeah if you want me to i'll go. my plan was when she was gone i was gonna go and go fast but that wasnt gonna work. we were walking into the woods and i told her i had to go too and she was like #1 or #2 i said both but relaly #2. she said me too and i was like blown away it must have been bad for a girl to do it in the woods. she said ok do you wanna go ro do you want me to go first. i dont know what she was thinking i would never have watched her but i will if shes gonna watch me so i said i guess me. i pulled my shorts down and took them off to prevent a spill on them from anything dropping or hitting them. so i peed and the squated and this super hard dry log started to come out of me. it was thick and semi long and totaly clean i finished when it dropped looked to see it and said your turn. when i looked at her she was totaly frozen in place then she snapped out of it. she pulled off her bottoms and squated starting to pee she went for like 25 seconds and the she strained a little. she said she hadnt gone on 5 days and she was hurting bad. i felt sorry for her because i know how it is and i know it hurt and i know that doing it in the woods when i guy is there arent the best circumstances. i suggested we go back to the jetski and sit and see if it'll work its way out itself. she said she thought she was going to be sick which made me feel even worse for her and i was trying to figre out how she could go easily. we went and sat down near the water. i told her to lay on her back and i rubbed her ???? a little she said that it made it feel better. she laid there for about 5 minutes with me rubbing. she told me she thinks she can go now. so she stood up and pulled down her bottoms and took them off. she sqautted again and then she had this real determained look on her and then nothing again! she breathed out and fell back onto her bottom. i came to the conclusion that even though squatting is supposed to be the most natural way of going with the size and hardness of her poop it was not going to work. so she sat there bare ass on the ground totaly puzzled and in pain. she farted loud and long and let out a sigh. i though wait a minute she can fart like this why cant she poop. i said try to go like this she was like i cant do that i'll get it on me. i said you dont have much choice if you want it out of you. she said ok and relaxed and said nothing was happening so i sat kneeled in frint of her and rubbed her ???? again. she let out a big gassy fart and then i saw the tip it was about 3 inches thick an inch out. she said its stuck! i said ok just relax it'll move its way out eventually. she sat there for 5 minutes in terrible pain and i said okay im gonna have to pull it out if its not going to come naturally. she said what a way to get to know someone good sarcastically. i have known her since i was 9 thats like 7 years but it was always just friends and we would joke around and stuff but this was totaly different. i told her to spread her legs a little further and rest her anus. she said okay did it and i pulled on the end of it and pulled. it was rock hard and dry i pulled about an inch out. it had gotten even thicker and now she was crying i felt like crying with her but it started moving. it was about the size of a coke can when it ended. i knew it was the beginning of a massive event and i told her to squat. as soon as she did it started coming out. it was soo much but it wasnt like mush and runny it was about 10 5-8 inch long solid poops. about 3 minutes of the most amazing poop i've ever witnessed she said she was done and felt great. when we got back we got alot of looks like where have you guy been and i said i saw someone i knew out on the lake and was talking to them. since this event saturday me and her have totaly hit it off in a new dimension not even sex or anything but now were totaly comfortable around each other. she farts with me and we laugh today is monday and we talked on the phone for hours. so if you think that something like this would break someone up it does the opposite by bringing us closer to each other.
Bryian....Blink182 is the best! What's my age again?? Anyway....I think you are right about the cover of the cd and the enem and stuff....that's kinda funny...maybe Blink182 is a constipated group??