Does anyone remember the earliest memory of what they like about bathroom related topics or going to the bathroom? I remember when I was very little, not more than 3, I would hang out with a little girl that lived down the street and we would play together. Somtimes we would go into this little forest that the houses backed onto and when we were alone, away from the paths,she would pull down her pants or whatever and squat down over things and poo on them. Sometimes they were rocks or sticks but if she found something living and fairly immobile like a bug or snail she would poo on that. I used to be fascinated with her pooing on things and always hoped some day that it would be me she pooped on. Does anybody else have experiences like this in their past? I would love to talk to her again and find out why she did this and if she is still interested.

Bridget, good to hear from you again. I was about to ask what happened to regulars such as yourself, Young,pooping girl, Paige and Blake. That was a while ago tharty'all posted but you all had good stories and I miss them

Human waste is sold in the US as lawn fertilizer under the name "Milorganite." It's produced by the sewage department for the City of Milwaukee -- sewage that's dried, treated, and processed into large granules, somewhat smaller than peppercorns and about the same color. It leaves a minor odor for a few days (rain helps get rid of it). Nothing like the overpowering chemical stink of most fertilizers. And, when birds eat the bugs that eat the fertilized plants and grass, they are safe -- unlike those dying from commercial fertilizer. Nice to know that my lawn is now prospering thanks to some faithful citizen in Wisconsin who unloaded a massive wiener schnitzel or some suchon my behalf. Happy lawn, happy lawnowner, happy Milwakeeans. Maybe the Chinese are onto something, shitting in the rice paddies...

Dear Pat,I agree wholehartedly except certain of us girls have learned to do it differently,for instance my b/m's takes place at toilets near the pool and the others back at the dorm.When I've finished shitting I use to wipe sitting and as I developed more my butt which isn't large but is firm spreads itself completely open when I bend and its easier to wipe clean all my shit traces so I have seemed to sort of half stoop when I wipe,I don't mind the sounds or smells I make or others for that matter,even so if another female is across from me I avoid eye contact by usually closing my eyes during the wipe part.Also I 'm afraid when I shit There is usually a lot of it,like seven or eight pieces firm to sort of soft and during holidays I 'm like a chocolate far only with my roommates bibi and fran have I not avoided eye contact especially Bibi who is so funny when she goes,she is the from my home town who I knew since a kid and uses the term choc/factory,because I will be a swimming coach one day an I see alot of females naked at times and I am trying to learn to be professionial about lots of things.Are you in school also like Alex?

Tiny Girl..yes I flush the toilet for my girlfriend. I also wipe her bottom. The last time it took 7 wipes and then I worked a little vaseline into her bottom to make her more comfortable. Even if she just pees I flush it later so I get to see how yellow it is and how it smells.

Pat and Bridget, Do you wipe from back to front or from front to back?

Hello, eileen, of course we are interested in more of your home-stories. By the way, ive never heard the word jobbie for the brown stuff. It sounds nice. We also had a lot of funny words therefor in Germany. So till next.

Hi suburbman. Speaking only for myself, I took a s*** at least once daily while I was there, sometimes twice. Sorry, I didn't keep a "log" LOL :-). I always pee when going number two. I also only peed two or three times daily, half the time at the cabin and the other half while I was out in other parts of the camp. I never had to s*** while I was outside in other areas of the camp. I think but not totally sure that all my other friends also s*** every day. Yes, the bunk did sometimes smell like an outhouse, but not too badly. Almost like someone ripped out an icky fart. To everyone and this is generally, not from my camp experience, I'm a 14 year old brunette girl with dark brown eyes about 5 foot 3 and 110 pounds even so I can let out some whoppers but I've never plugged up a toilet. I go number two almost every day and as I said before I always pee when I have to go poopees. I pee only, and always sitting down, three or four times everyday, think it's awesome that some girls can pee standing up,but I've never tried it. My logs tend to be on the soft and smelly side, and I always wipe my bum alot after going. I have no problem going to the bathroom at school when nature calls. I've got some what I hope are interesting constipation stories to tell, yes Torie has been constipated before but I'll wait until another post. C'ya soon love Torie

Greetings to all. On the mushy/ diarrhea Vs solid turds question it will be no surprise that Moira and I are totally on the side of the solids. I have given this some thought and I agree with Tony and others that diarrhea, while not a disease in itself is a symptom of many illnesses. As others have said, the human large intestine, colon, bowel or whatever name you use has the function of recovering the fluids, salts etc in the digested food from the small intestine or ileum. This is a watery "soup" and if allowed to be excreted like this dehydration would soon occur. This is what the stools are like in severe diarrhea, a watery formless soup as these pass through the bowel either too quickly for the fluids to be properly absorbed or the normal absorbtion is blocked. Saline purgatives such as magnesium sulfate (epsom salts) or sodium sulfate (glauber's salts) work by this method while others such as senna cause increased secretion of bile which stimulates the bowel muscles to act quicker thus making the stools move too quickly for proper absorbtion. Some other laxatives also irritate the bowel having a similar effect and it is this that causes the diarrhea in food poisoning as the bowel tries to rid itself of the irritant substance. This is a natural reaction but is nonetheless not normal. Diarrhea is also unpleasent as it is often conjoined with pains in the abdomen, nausea, vomiting, high temperature etc. Again it can come on suddenly and has the social stigma associated with soiling ones underwear. There is also the psychological nastiness of diarrhea. Most humans like order and form and regularity in things and hate chaos. As an example, apart from the avante garde intellectuals, the majority of people dislike the random splodges of paint in a Jackson Pollock painting , the cacophony of Stockhausen or Messien's so called music, the twisted shapes of an Epstein or Moore sculpture and prefer representational art. I would therefore liken this to the preference of many of us for passing solid formed stools and for listening to or seeing those done by others. Passing a large solid motion is also a physically pleasing sensation and there is both the feeling of releaf and the feeling of acheivement to lokk at the turd and think "I did that!" Moira and I certainly enjoy passing nice big solid jobbies and have done so since childhood. Tim I think your wife should see her Doctor (physician) as perhaps her gall bladder being removed causes too much bile to be secreted into her duodenum and thence to her bowel having the laxative effect suggested above. She may be able to get some medication to conteract this. Mike, the UK diet is blander by and large than that of the USA, lots of roasts, stews , fried foods, starches, not so many peppers etc. Maybe this accounts for our stools being more solid, or as stated above we Brits are a bit more turned off by diarrhea and thus do not like to post or read posts about it.

I like to respond to Anita. You talked about how you cleans your area. Do you think that is how some women keep their anus clean? Some women's anal regions are so immaculate even after so many years of bowel movement. I am so impressed.

To Mike (USA). I too have noticed that American posters seem to suffer from diarrhea far more than we Brits, or perhaps they do not find this as distasteful as we English do and will post about it quite freely. The UK diet is different to the US as we dont have so much spicy foods as the Mexican etc types with peppers which Americans tend to like nor the more exotic vegetables. We do however eat curries much more these days as a result of our Asian population having openied many Indian resturants etc. Fast food, Macdonalds, Burger King etc is popular over here too but is still looked upon as a treat by many people not as a staple diet. The typical english diet is far more bland than that of the USA, and this may account for firmer stools being passed by Brits. Personally, like other British posters here, I dont like stories about diarrhea or mushy stools.

Nicky F.
Hi Robbie. I don't know if you've read any of my old posts - I have been posting on and off for nearly a year now. I'm Nicky, I was 16 in February, I live in the South of England and I have posted at length about my shitting activities - but to summarise, I don't have a problem with constipation at all - I go easily every day (sometimes twice) and I really enjoy the experience and sensation. I am lucky in that my best friend - we go to the same school too - has been my best friend since we were toddlers - our Mums were friends before Josh and I were born, so we were potty trained together and have 'buddy dumped' ever since! Another advantage I have is that I live on a small farm in a rural location - so outdoor shitting and 'buddy dumping' is a regular (sorry) feature of our days! Josh will be 17 in October - and there is another guy in our 'gang' - goes to school with us, also called Robbie (Robert) - he will be 15 in November, and he enjoys shitting outdoors in our company too. Sorry to all the regular readers who probably know all thisAnyway, I haven't posted so much lately as there are only so many ways I can describe the evacuation of my body wastes! - although while I am writing I might as well tell you (all) about going to school the other morning. The 3 of us cycle to school most days if it is reasonable weather - it's about 14km on a cycle route they've made on a disused railway - so there are lots of places suitable for having a good shit - which we often make use of! Sometimes just one, sometimes two and occasionally all 3 of us manage to go in the same session. Great fun as you can imagine. Anyway, on Friday morning I set off not thinking that I needed to go - got up + breakfast, great morning piss but no feeling of an impending shit. Anyway, about 10 minutes down the track, I felt a large quantity of Nickyshit starting to make itself and it's presence known to me. Within 2 minutes the urge had become MOST URGENT, and although we were not in the most discreet place on the route, I had to an nounce that I had to go and this field was to be the lucky recipient of my very own fertiliser!! So, we all jumped over the gate, and I tore off lower garments and squatted just as my first turd began to emerge into the world outside. Well, it was huge. Fairly soft (sorry Tony in Scotland - I don't do ones that you can stand on!), more dark than my usual yellow-brown ones, and followed by three more long chunky turds, the last was back to normal colour. As is usual with me, the whole mass sort of flowed steadily out of my hole which was stretched, although not uncomfortable. Laid end to end, the four segments would have been about 60cm with an average diameter of 2 - 2cm - and the whole thing must have weighed over 300g. Boy, did I feel relieved after that. Luckily Josh had some paper - and being a teenage schoolboy I work on the principle that half a wipe is good enough. I have discussed skid marks at great length before - you either like 'em or hate 'em - and we 3 musketeers veer towards the liking! When I was finished - and the others looked up too, we found there was a youngish guy on a bike watching the whole thing from the track!! I mean, I wasn't really exposed - and wouldn't have been seen by anyone just passing by, but if you went to investigate you would have been able to see my performance! So I guess he was into these matters - probably reads this site!! Maybe even posts - perhaps I will read a description of the event. Anyway, it was a shit to be proud of, with surprisingly little advance warning. As we all came out of the field, this guy gave me a big grin, a thumbs up sign, and rode away. Didn't say anything at all. Perhaps 3 teenage boys were a bit daunting? Anyway, Robbie, I was supposed to be responding to your pleas, so, enough of my activities. As I said, I am 16 too and there are quite a few teens who post here from time to time. It sounds to me like you have more of a problem with worrying about it - like when you went away at Christmas you got yourself all worked up so much that you really weren't able to go. Like if you just told yourself that of course you can go, or if you told the friend you were staying with about your worry I'm sure he would have tried to help. I mean to worry yourself literally sick can't be much fun - I know I hate puking up. Much worse than diarrhoea (not that I get what I would define as the dreaded Big D. more than once a year or two. I agree with Tony - just tell your Mum that of course you've been, that you are over all that now etc. Anyway, the first thing I thing is to relax. Enjoy having a shit - that's what this site is all about!! I mean if you eat well, you ought to shit well too. Try and treat your younger brother as an ally, not an enemy. Maybe he is genuinely concerned about you? Does he ever have any trouble going? Did you when you were 12 - 13? I mean, I have never had any problems at all - nor has Josh (and I don't think Robbie either), but Josh and I have always enjoyed going together. Do you have any friends who might sort of go with you - or even your brother - would he buddy-dump with you. Just trying to think of what I find cool about going - and with me it is definitely being able to go with a friend. Also, if there are two of you, it is definitely much easier to make other friends who share your interest. Without any sexual suggestion I would add - I know in some schools homophobia is rampant - but when it comes down to it what is the difference between shitting with your mates or playing rugby or other sport and stripping naked with a gang, some of whom probably are NOT your mates!! But your post last week when you described the shit you had - the monster one when you were at home - that seemed like it was a regular shit, normal rather than constipated, just that there were four of them all trying to get out at the same time!! (Great description of the quadruple turd by the way - reading it I could totally imagine how it felt!). Another thing I find sort of cool is being able to go outdoors - and you can really squat naturally and let it drop out of your hole in its own time. Try not to strain. I know a lot of guys don't have the outdoor option, living in urban areas etc. Another thing - I would pay some attention to diet. I'm a youngster too - but it doesn't mean I eat nothing but pot noodles and cheeseburgers without the veg. or salad. Teens like us can eat proper food and enjoy it - as well as junk food sometimes, so I don't agree totally with 'but I'm a kid and I eat kid's food - what can I do?. Also I don't eat meat - I'm not vegetarian, and I do eat lots of fish. Also, bran flakes at breakfast. Another thing I find wickedly effective - ready soaked dried apricots - but beware - too many and you get the runs. Not exactly diarrhoea - it smells good for a start (of apricots), and no pains or cramps or nausea. But the runs. Liquid poo every 10 minutes for 2 hours. Great to clean you out. To avoid the extreme effects, stick to about 16 to 20 pieces of fruit. Suppositories too if you really can't go - easy - just shove the glycerine up your arse, wait 20/20 mins., squat and shit. And shit!! And shit!!! And then it's all over. Also they can be great fun with two or three of you - real synchronised buddy dumping. The next Olympic Sport? More interesting than swimming with clothes pegs anyway!! Anyway, Robbie, at least you went that time - even if it hurt a bit. Your friend James might be willing to help too - he sounds relaxed about it, and just accepts that his metabolism means he only goes every 3 days - but he does go easily at the appointed time. Discuss this with him - that's what friends are for. Don't feel that shitting is something shameful - it isn't. It's fun, and it can be sociable. After all James told you he hadn't been for 3 days - he didn't think it was something to keep secret from you. Probably he would have let you watch him if you let him watch you?? My advice, relax, be more open and less secretive, discuss, and pay some attention to diet. And get some suppositories - you may never need them, but just knowing you have them should relax you. Also you know you can work it out with your fingers if you have to I hope to hear from you next week that you have done 7 superb, comfortable, healthy shits in the meantime. Good luck Nicky F. PS> Ryan - still great posts. Still I will reply soon. (Only 6 weeks since I said that before!!). N.

Donna: I'm not a girl, but this morning my wife made some really "wet" farts. I was in the shower, and she came into use the toilet. She peed really hard, a strong, hissing pee sound, then BRRRAAATTTT!!!! it kind of exploded from her butt! More hard pissing, then BBRRTTT!! BRATTTT!! BRRRRAaaatt!!! Several wet sounding farts interspersed with various plops and ker-splunks A final burst of pee followed by another fart or two and a soft grunt, like she was really pushing hard. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

To Tim. I can understand what your wife is going through. I had my gall bladder removed last year. Although I do not have chronic diarrhea I do get it 3 or 4 times a week. Gas is another problem. I can be walking down the street and play you a tune. Some days I have 3 or 4 bowel movements. A lot depends on what I have eaten. Broccoli does a number on me. Usually when I at work after my morning cup of coffee I will get this sudden urge to go and you better get out of my way. It blasts out of my rectum like a rocket and when if hits the back of the bowl it sticks like glue. Sometimes it takes 2 or 3 flushes to get it to move. Other times I have to get the bowl brush and cleaner to and scrub hard to remove it. Every day is a new adventure.

How many of you have toilets that have a loud gurgle at the end of a flush? And if so, does it give you a buzz to see poops go down the drain...with this ominous gurgle?

Tuesday, May 18, 1999

How can a person just wipe with dry toilet paper and just pull their pants up and go on their merry way? I always use soap and water on my anus and wipe until it's clean. No wonder people talk about skid marks in their underwear. I also see girls who shit and then don't wash their hands before leaving the bathroom. They're lots of pigs out there!

Hugh G.
Suggestion is a powerful force... I'm taking a three week course at a local college this summer term. Unfortunately, the class is at 8:30 a.m. and ends at 12:30 p.m., after which time I work until 11:00 p.m. I get off work a little earlier than that, but I have a one-hour commute between my home and the school, then from my job back home, giving me time to get home and sleep, then wake up and do it all over again. Normally, this kind of schedule does terrible things to my bowels, but I got used to it within the first week. This morning, I was making fairly good time on the thirty-mile trip to school. On the radio, Howard Stern and the others in the studio were discussing bowel movemts, what time of day they move their bowels, the props and cons of using pre-moistened baby wipes in leiu of toilet paper, and the proper use of a bidet. Then, Stern had a guest that wrote a book about composting human feces and using it on food crops. Personally, it sounds risky, but the guest claims that "humanure" is safe to use this way if it's composted. By now, I was about four miles from school, and the urge to shit hit me like a ton of bricks. My car has a manual transmission, so it wasn't easy to keep my colon clinched while driving. By the time I got to the driveway at school, I could feel the end of the turd poking through like the head of a turtle emerging from its shell. Ignoring the posted speed limit, I raced into the visitors' parking lot, killed the engine, and did a quick march into the main building, which houses the admissions office. There is a lady, about sixty years old, who sits at the information desk during the mornings. She sometimes greets me, but this morning, the expression on my face probably convinced her I was about to vomit. I didn't feel like vomiting at all, though, and I trotted into the men's restroom. It has painted cinder block walls, psychadelic 1960's mosaic tiles on the floor, and wall-mounted crappers. I found a suitable-looking toilet, dropped my jeans, and the shit began to flow. It wasn't as solid as I would have liked, but it wasn't viscous at all, and quite satisfying nonetheless. I had some jalapenos a couple of nights ago, and the smell permeated the 1960's bathroom. Feeling much better, I wiped neatly and cleanly, and looked inside. Unbroken, the turd would have been close to two feet (61 cm) long, but it was broken into no fewer than 8 pieces, making the bowl resemble a gigantic porcelain bowl of chili. When I flushed, I discovered the flush valve wasn't adjusted correctly, so the bowl didn't flush completely. There were several skid marks, but I had to flush about three times. I was the only one in the entire building except for the woman at the information desk, who must have heard the flushes. I left, and she did say hello to me, but didn't get too close to the bathroom. Rection.

Eileen, I loved your posting on Sunday. I could visualise you walking along the road with your newspapers experiencing the pleasant sensation of needing a good solid motion, the presence of the big solid turd in your back passage, but knowing that you were safely near home to do it in comfort and that it was a properly formed solid poo, then going into the toilet, slipping your jeans and panties down and enjoying the big jobbie sliding out of your rectum. I bet that felt good! Did your flatmates make any comment when they saw it still floating in the toilet pan when they got up?

Robbie, Mums (Moms) do tend to ask their kids how often they have had a motion, or a BM as Yanks say. It's a mum or "mom" sort of thing. Mine did, but this didn't bother me at all as after all, as my old posts will illustrate, I was greatly interested in HER bowel movements. My mum merely wanted to know, but in some households, in the bad old days of "inner cleanliness" a reported failure to "go" could result in an unwelcome dose of laxatives although this was thankfully never the case in my family. If it bothers you that your mom asks you if you have had a BM then I suggest two approaches. Firstly always tell her that you have anyway, say you did it in the toilets at school, or in a public toilet or when visiting a friend etc. Another approach is to cheekily ask HER if SHE has had a BM? That may give her the message that as a teenager you resent this personal question as an intrusion into your privacy.

I did a really nice motion this morning just after I got out of bed, an easy but well formed fat carrot shaped jobbie of about 10 inches long. I sat on the toilet pan with my panties (pale blue briefs) at my knees . At first it was a bit difficult to pass, fat hard and knobbly but as it came out with me going "NNN! AH! OO!" it became smoother but still very fat then at the end it tapered off suddenly so shot into the pan with a tremendous "KUR-SPUL-LOOMP!". I felt really good after that and it has set me up for the day and I can echo the remarks of the former "Ginger" Spice Girl Gerri Halliwell about feeling happy if she has started the day with a nice big number two.

To Rick: Your stories are the best!!!!! Keep the installments coming mehn. Don't hold out.

Tiny Girl
Donny, After you supported your girlfriend while she was pooping, did you flush the toilet for her? I have always been turned on by that (when my fiance has done it for me) and was curious if you did it for your girlfriend... I also think its very sweet.

Some great posts recently. Eileen, I find your homelife fascinating as I can only dream of the idea of being in a flat with some college mates and being able to see them pee or poop and then witness the results. I bet you can generate some great conversations around the couch during parties and the drinks start going through everybody. Torie, your story was very fascinating as well. I bet with 5 girls sharing a little cabin during the morning dumps I bet the cabin smelled like an outhouse. How many times did people do a dump? When I remember back to those days, going to the bathroom in the vicinity of other people can be very interesting. Just getting out of the adolescent stage and into the interested with other peoples bodies stage. Did it feel good to go with people around?

Here's another for Jilly. In my senior year of high school there was a gym teacher/cheerleader coach named Susan. She was good to me. She looked like a kid herself. She had a man. Then she turned to being a lesbian. So what. At a rival school meet, we had to use the toilet. She and I used this one stall room reserved for female coaches. Susan invited me in. I urinated first. When I finished, I lifted my royal blue cheerleader briefs after I wiped and flushed. Susan was outside the stall talking to me. Then she had to tell me somethings privately. She entered the stall, unhitched her girl scout belt, lowered her faded blue jeans and her black cotton briefs to her knees. With her legs slightly open, Susan evacuated her bowels with great pain and strain. As she talked, she strained each syllable with each piece of doo-doo. Every few words, a "ploop, splash" and an "uuhh". As she talked, she tried to push out more. A fart and a long piss happened. She then loosed more hard pieces.! Her behind was skinny and not covering the seat. I could look and see seven/five inch pieces of doo-doo floating in the large white bowl. The smell was powerful. She finished telling her secret. I gave her plenty of paper. She wiped her behind five times with three different wads of paper. She told me this bowel movment was in her from morning.

Hello, I used to be a regular poster on this site but all I have done lately is lurk around and read the postings. While I am not as active on this site, my interest and fascination regarding poop is still as strong as ever. I also have a few comments about the standing as opposed to staying seated while wiping your butt. I. personally, remain seated. I am right handed so I raise my right butt cheek and reach under. I agree, that standing up restricts easy access inside because the butt cheeks are pressed together, therefore, does not provide as thorough a cleaning. As for diahrrea versus harder poop, I think all stories are acceptable here. Poop has many consistencies and because it is not as distateful as certain other bodily substances, I think all forms can be discussed here. While, I personally am more turned on by nice, big, solid and strain-demanding poops, I also respect that some people prefer loose messy poops, so therefore, they can post about them. It is left up to the rest of us to decide if we want to read these posts or not. Thanks for hearing my side of this...

Tim (US)
I was really glad to see Donny's post about how he wiped his girl friends butt. I was beginning to think I was the only one who did that sort of thing. My wife has been bothered with chronic diaherra ever since she had her gall bladder out close to 16 years ago. While she isn't running to the bathroom every ten minutes, you can probably count on one had the number of times she's had a normal stool since her operation. It's almost always mushy or a watery and runny mess. And it makes her butt sore. When this happens, she prefers that I wipe her. Which I have no problem doing. When I'm done, if her bottom is sore, she'll get on top the bed, put her butt in the air and I'll put some ointment on it for her.

In answer to the question about movies showing women standing to pee, in "The Full Monty" a woman is shown using a "pee against the wall" male urinal.

Mike (USA)
It's just my own observation, but it seems as though posters from the USA report more frequent bouts with loose stools than those of the UK. I wonder if this is due to dietary discrepancies between the two groups or the pervasive influence of fast food in the typical "American" diet. My own diet, which is devoid of all fast food, fried food, animal and dairy products, does not produce overly loose or firm stools, but those that fall somewhere in the middle. I find all kinds of inconsistencies among people with the same diet with respect to the looseness or firmness of their bowels. My sister, for instance, eats a very similar diet as mine, yet often suffers from diarrhea. I'd be interested to know if anyone else has a theory on this. Is there a typical "English" diet?

Derek F
Hi Robbie, I am just posting as I am the same age of you almost, I am already sixteen. I posted a couple of days ago you must have read my post. I do not have your problem of not being able to go for a shit, I have the problem that my shit comes out before I am ready for it, only sometimes. My last post was about my most recent accident. I am normally quite good at controlling my shit, I can actually let a shit come about an inch out of my bum and them suck it back in again, I have just been doing it before I started this post. Must go I'm dying for a wee, I can't hold it in any longer, it's starting to dribble. Please reply.

Monday, May 17, 1999

Alex and Nyad, I was very interested in your comments about why you think people don't like to wipe themselves in front of others. But Alex, you said one thing that surprised me. You said that "Wiping involves getting up, either standing or partially standing, off the toilet and exposing 'private parts'". Actually, I never stand to wipe. I think the most natural way to wipe is to stay seated, but to lift up your right butt cheek (if you're right handed) and just reach under and wipe and then drop the paper in the bowl. If someone is watching, I don't even look at the paper the first few wipes. I just wipe and drop the paper right in the bowl without looking at it. Only after four or five wipes when I feel the paper is going to be clean will I look at it if there's someone else watching. When you do it this way, you don't expose anything, and the person watching doesn't even see any poop. More importantly, I think it's just easier to wipe this way, because when you're sitting, your butt cheeks are spread open and you can get at your anus very easily. When you stand up, your butt cheeks close up and you have to either reach between them to get at your anus or manually separate your cheeks with your other hand or bend over and stick your butt out to open them up. Also, if your anus had a lot of shit on it, standing up makes it more likely that the crap will be spread along your crack somewhat. Don't you think it's much easier to just stay seated, because your butt cheeks are already spread out and the poop is less likely to get squished?

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