I had a near miss today, I almo had a bm in my undies. I was just about to go out when I felt the urge to go for a bm, but someone was in the bathroom, so I decided I didn't have time to wait and the urge had gone so I thought I would be fine until I got back from the barbers where I was going. When I got to the barbers it was quite busy so I had to sit and wait for about 20 mins before I could get my hair cut. As I was sitting there the urge to poo came around once again so I had to hold it in, after a few minutes of holding it, it was my turn to get my hair cut so off I went and sat in the chair, and the urge to poo was getting worse and I could feel it start to come out, eventually I was sat there and I could feel the poo touching my pants so I just sat there very still, when the barber finished cutting my hair I stood up and managed to pull most of the poo back in preventing soiling myself. By the time I got back home the urge to poo had gone again, so I haven't yet been, but the urge is starting to come back, I was going to go before I wrote this but someone is having a bath so I can't use the bathroom so I am holding it in again, hopfully he won't be in the bath to long as my need it getting more urgent. When I do eventually get to the toilet I will be able to survey any damage that may have been caused earlier to my undies. The bloke in the bathroom is the one i mentioned before who is the infrequent changer of his undies, we have just got a washing machine, yesterday it arrived, and so we decided to wash our colours and white's etc together to save doing extra washes. Anyway, he gave his whites to wash with my whites which were mainly his underwear, four pairs, which has lasted him 2 weeks, onr pair I saw as I put them in the machine had about a 4 inch crusty brown mark running up the back, worse than I normally get. His problem is, not that he won't use public toilets or anything like me, but the fact that he just doesn't seem to be bothered. You can be talking to him and he will say I really need the toilet and then he will carry on talking to you for ages, he even comes out with comments like, "If I don't go to the toilet now I'm going to mess myself," and then you will normally smell something as he eventually gets up and strolls to the toilet. I think this stems from when he was young, ! as I have known him for many years and we have gone to the same uni together, when he was young he always had dirtied his pants during the day and I don't think his parents ever confronted him about it. I remember once when I was younger and I called on him but he hadn't got up so his mother sent me up to room to get him up, he got out of bed wearing his pants put on some clothes and said hang on I'll just go to the toilet but then he said no it ok i can't be bothered and it's to late anyway, I already done some, lets go back to yours and play on the computer, so I said ok and we went back to my house. When we were playin on the computer we were halfway through a race when he said, I'm pooing myself, my mum came in and realised what he had done and got him to change into a pair of my undies. When we went home he told mum what he had done and she said never mind, you will grow out of it, and that was it, but I don't think he ever has grown out of it.

Saturday, February 06, 1999

Trevor and Aussie Guy, I find that there is considerable variation in the size and shape of the "hole" in toilet seats. Some of them (especially in my experience the softee "padded" seats) are quite small and if you sit far enough back so that your penis naturally falls into the gap in the seat in front of you then you run the risk of soiling the back of the seat. I find that I shift position depending on whether I am doing #1 or #2. I guess that women do not have this problem.

one of my friends was over the other night and said he had to go take a dump....he is 25y/o and asked me if I wanted to come in with him and talk while he took a dump..he sat there for a few minutes and then several plops in the water, I knew he was doing a healthy poop...anyway he pooped a little more and then wiped several times, I seen several good logs in the toilet...I have buddy dumped with him before but this time I did not have the urge to go.....oh well, maybe next time...myself I have been dumping every other day and usually late evening...I am 37y/o and enjoy taken a dump in public toilets...and also taking dumps outside which I had to do this past sunday, I was with another friend of mine up in Indiana, we were doing some 4-wheelin in the mud in his truck, when he got the truck stuck...we were there about an hour and I said I had to take a dump real bad as we were waitin for a tow truck, he said he had to go to so we got some paper towels he had in the truck and he went to one place and I another...I let one 8 incher followed by a shorter was really neat to take a dump out in the open like that...anyway thats all for now...will post more later.....

My name is holly and something happened the other day.I tole my roommate about it and she said she knew this website where people talked about this sort of thing.Well here goes. I was working in my bosses office and after several hours.I asked if I could use her bathroom,which is in her office.she said absentmindedly sure,so I went ahead to itandthen saw that it was like an accordian,it folded and had loovers for openings.I gave it scant thought as I needed to take a bowelmovement in the worst way possible.Also I was with a woman right?It was small,just a pink toilet and handsink with a mirror over it.I pulled up my pleated skirt and pulled down my panties, after a moment I passed a few farts and concentrated as I passed a firm turd out that made a loud thud at landed, i hoped it wasn't heard but gave up as I smelled a obnoxious odor,i passed two more turds and tried to tinkle quietly,but afterwoods farted on last time.I had to wipe my vagina of course and clean my asshole very well. The only problem she was out of paper,and i had to call out to her.She brought me kleenex tissue instead.Shit there she was handing me that and holding her nose.I was more angry than embarrassed.My roomie thought it was funny, now i do to still I'm careful to never use my bosses's bathroom.

Adam from Canada
Yesterday was a strange day for me. I took a poop twice. First, I was at school and doing some studying in the hall. I started to let off some farts and then I felt the urge to go. I went into the washroom and there was a professor in one stall and someone in the other (I saw the prof come out). I waited outside for a few min the other person came out. It was a student and he had used the stall #3 (the end). I entered the stall and found skid marks in the can. There was also a nasty smell (smelt like sweat). I did my poop and it came out in little pebbles. I felt ok after. Last night, I came home from school and I had to poop again. This time it came out in three tubes and they were 6 inches each. I really felt good and had to spray the place quite thoroughly.

This may be bad, posting an e-mail I had gotten. Though it is right in line with this forum. So sorry if you have read this before. Guys, bear with me for a second. The following story is just plain beautiful. Do you know what Ryan's Steakhouse is? It is to food what Earl Scheib's is to car painting... rarely will you find such an assortment of amazingly fat people. The story will take about 10 minutes five minutes for a chick, because they will fail to see the humor and not find it funny) because you will be laughing too hard to read at normal speed. Ryan's Steakhouse: A story by a guy named Rob. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little bastards. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment. We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia here shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, however. I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first, I thought it was only gas which could have been passed in batches right at the table without to much concern. Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress... I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom. Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. One of them was a handicapped bathroom. Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good shit, but in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagonal wirecutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a shit. I went to the normal stall. In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large, handicapped stall even though the door would not lock because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances. By the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure on my ass was reaching Biblical proportions. I began "The Move." For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact same second that one's ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer. I was about half-way into "The Move" when I looked down at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been previously expelled by one of those little bastards attending kids night; it was mounded up in the corner so I did not notice it when I had first walked into the stall. Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag reflex. And once that reflex started, combined with the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach, four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a rematch. What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence of events are a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct them as best I can. In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end. To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crouched down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a load of vomit coming up my esophagus. Now, most of you know that vomiting takes precedence over shit no matter what is about to come slamming out of your ass. It is apparently an evolutionary thing since shitting will not kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death. My attention was thus diverted. At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of shit the consistency of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The shit wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initially hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down. Recall that when that event occurred, I was already half-way to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point of no return. I have always considered myself as relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how limber you may be. Needless to say, the shit wave, though of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself on the walls, unlike what you would see when hitting a puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no water is left to re-form a puddle. There was a significant amount of shit remaining on about one-third of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon. Now, back to the vomit... While all the shitting was going on, the vomit was still on its way up. By the time I had actually collapsed on the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed. OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when vomiting? One bends over. So I bent over. I was still sitting on the toilet, though. Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head above my now slightly-opened legs, positioned in between my knees and waist. Also directly above my pants which were now pulled down to a point just midway between my knees and my ankles. Oh, did I mention that I was wearing not just pants, but sweat pants withelastic on the ankles? In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet. In the next several seconds, there were a handful of farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended, yet I was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my back covered in shit that had bounced off the toilet, spattered on three ceramic-tiled walls to a height of about five feet, and still had enough force to come back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets of liquid shit. All while thick shit was spread all over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet seat. And there was no f???ing toilet paper. What could I do but laugh. I must have sounded like a complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the bathroom. He actually asked if I was OK since I was laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if he would get the manager. And told him to have the manager bring some toilet paper. When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened next. I simply told him that there was no way I was going to explain what was happening in the stall, but that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were sitting and he left. At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly benign. About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount of worry in her voice. I explained to her (still laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I had a slight accident and needed her help. Knowing that I had experienced some close calls in the past, she probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or something and just needed to bring the car around so we could bolt immediately. Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was about to go across the street and purchase me new underwear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies) new sneakers. And she then started to laugh herself since I was still laughing. She began to ask for an explanation as to what had happened when I promised her that I would tell her later, but that I just needed to handle damage control for the time being. She left. The manager then came back in with a half-dozen wet towels and a few dry ones. I asked him to also bring a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would clean up anything that needed to be cleaned. Without giving him specific details, I explained that what was going on in that stall that night was far in excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum wage or just slightly above. At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the gravity of the situation. Then that manager went so far above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful for hisactions. He hooked up a hose. Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle of the room in order to make clean up easy. And I was in a commercial bathroom. He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels. Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new clothes and passed them into the stall, where upon I stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the stall to get redressed in the event I happened to be standing there naked and some little bastard kid walked in. At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way. When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains toward the drain in the center of the room. I put down the hose and walked out of the bathroom. I had intended to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done, but when I walked out, three of the management staff were there to greet me with a standing ovation. I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the front door. The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House. They have, by far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in which I have eaten.

I've read with interest the posts from guys who can't seem to fit there bum and their dick on a toilet seat at once. I don't seem to have any trouble there, but I do have to hold my dick down so that it doesn't touch the porceline inside the front of the toilet. I am of reasonably slim build though, 5'9" tall and about 158 lbs. (72 kgs.). I guess larger guys may have trouble there fitting everything on the seat at once. I do find the horse shoe shaped seats a bit easier to use though, no need for me to hold my dick away from the seat edge and bowl with those ones. One thing with toilet design though, I do prefer a toilet that is tall enough so I can sit upright with my knees level with my bum. Most seem to be too low as I am a bit long legged and I like the way it feels when I sit on a nice high toilet. It does seem to make the sensations of passing my poos alot more pleasurable and increases the arousal I get from pooing. So how about you good people? Do you like a nice high toilet or do you like them to be lower? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this :)

Cool Guy 3:16
Ok, here's the scoop last weekend me, my cousin(same one mentioned in an earlier post), 2 of her friends, and 2 of my friends were all at her house and no one but us were home, so we got a bright idea, that since we are too young to buy beer and have a party lets buy Mountain Dew instead! So we brought home 3 24 can packs of Mountain Dew and drank it whilst watching T.V. and listening to CD's all night, since we were all staying there the night. So We Drank Dew, watched T.V., played music all night While drinking our Dew, and like each time all around the same time, prolly 10 times in all we'd all go spend 2 1/2 minutes each letting the Mountain Dew take a swim in the john. Welp, we got down to 3 cans of Mountain Dew and decided to call it quits, we were all Mountain Dew Drunk I think, so about 10 or so minutes later we all fell asleep, or passed out or something, and when we woke up in the morning all six of us laying in the same carpeted room, all 15-16 years old had pissed our pants prolly 2-3 times each in the night, we were soaked to the bone in piss! We spent nearly 2 hours doing laundry, sweeping, cleaning, and every thing else in that room. The best part is I was the nly one smart enought to bring an extra pair, and it was my cousin's house so she had some, so the other 4 had to walk around in a long shirt until the laundry was done! First time in 6 years I pissed my pants!

I love the word dingleberry. What is it's origin? It is an unfamiliar word in Australia. How do you rid yourself of dingleberries?

When I pee, I stand up. I've been doing it for about a year now. Before I learned how to do this, or that it was even possible, I had many instances when I almost peed myself. I vended weekly at a two day flea market where the bathrooms were locked at night. The closest batroom was about 3 miles away! My boyfried always just peed so easily and I couldn't. At times my eyeballs seemed they were floating I had to go so bad. This year, If I go back, I'll be relieved that I can go just like he did last year. He doesn't know that I can do this, and I hide it the best I can. It's kinda embarrassing to do it in public, I mean people might think I have a penis or somthing. I just use an funnel w/ a spill guard. It only costs $1. It's small enough to fit in my pocket, and I cut off the end so it's easier to carry. I just cary both parts and put the end into the funnel when I have to go. I only unzip the zipper, I don't even have to unbutton my pants! I love the freedom and liberation it gives me, being a female and all. All women should do this, it's much easier than 1/2 undressing, especially out doors cause you don't spill all over like I used to do. If anyone wants to know more about my method you can email me at:

I was a bit surprised by what hoseman said about there being a fart- lighting scene in the film "Nicholas and Alexandra". I have not seen that film. But I couldn't help wondering whether it might have been confused with (or the idea nicked from) an earlier film by Ingmar Bergmann called "Fanny and Alexander" in which a drunken uncle entertains the children on the stairs by dropping his trousers and farting loudly several times (he calls it "Christmas Fireworks"). The scene ends with him blowing out the candles with an anal blast. Puzzling parallels.

William has an interesting point about skidmarks. I am sure that he's right that one major factor is whether the underpants get trapped in your bum-crack. If they do, you are pretty sure to get skidmarks, even if you wash your asshole with soap and water after shitting. I mainly wear "tanga"-type briefs, and Iknow from experience that some pairs of briefs (mine are a whole variety of colors and styles)which are very narrow at the back and do not completely cover the bum will sooner or later get trapped in my ass-crack and get shit marks on them.

At last!! Some results from the survey for which we have waited so long. I have to admit that I did the survey twice. I hope there were not too many multiple responses of that type or the validity of the results may be called in question. What really fascinated me was how interest in toilet matters drastically falls in females over the age of 25, whereas males continue to take a healthy interest in this topic up to retirement age (and presumably, beyond).

I was also interested in the seat problem. I suppose I leave the seat up after peeing about one time in five, and I always get nagged at by my wife for doing so. So in default of a urinal, I often pee in the washbasin (being careful to rinse it properly afterwards). But what's the big deal about toilet seats? I discovered about 4 years ago that once you get used to the slight chill of sitting down on bare porcelain, it is actually much better not to use the seat at all, and leave it up. There is much less of a risk of peeing on the floor, it's much easier to see what you've done, and there is no problem of the seat wobbling or squeaking, which many do. Now whether at home or anywhere else, I never sit on the seat to shit. I don't beleive that for adults there is ANY risk in falling down into the bowl....

Can anone recommend any movies with guys sitting on the toilet? So far the ones I have seen are Teachers, Spring Break, Airborn, Pledge Night, Weird Science, Basketball Diaries, A Nightmare on Elm St Pt 4, Henry Fool, California Dreaming, Kiss Me Guido, and Night of the Creeps.

What constitutes a "BIG" turd asks a reader of the survey? Like all such inconcise terms it's relative. To someone used to passing fat 12 inch logs an 8 inch jobbie would be small to medium but to a kid or someone who usually passed say small 4 or 5 inch poos it would be big. I consider anything up to 5 inches long as small, 7 inches medium, to 12 inches big and anything bigger than that is a whopper, a pan buster or a mega. I'd love to read what others consider to be big and their catagories if any, so how about it, George and Moira, Jill, Nicola, and others.

I have also found discarded underpants both male and female in toilet cubicles which have been wet or soiled, and have also found them in out of the way places such as back alleyways, in the woods and behind hedges etc.. Like Tracy I have also seen a case where someone did a jobbie in their knickers which didnt squash up. My sister did one in her knickers on the way home from school. In her case, as with the old lady mentioned by Tracy she had passed a very firm short jobbie and it just lay unsquashed in the seat of her underpants (a pair of white cotton briefs with elastic through the leg openings). When she got home and slipped off her skirt I could see her knickers drooping down at the back and she too just emptied the turd out into the toilet pan with s KUPLOONK! and cleaned her buttocks then washed the skid marks out of her knickers in the handbasin letting them dry over the radiator before our mum came home.

Regarding the "phantom poo" where it shoots up the hidden bend out of sight, this sometimes happens to me . It does however bring on another subject. While it is a buzz to do a jobbie that is so big that it sticks up out of the water in the toilet pan and hardly moves an inch if at all when the flush is pulled, say one of 12 inches long, it can also be a turn on to do a smaller one, say 7 or 8 inches but quite fat,which you expect to flush away first time but which goes up the bend then slides back down into view a few moments later. My Mum often did ones like this and thought they had gone away, so I was then able to see her jobbie when I went into the toilet after her. Id often buddy dump my own turd on top of hers but funnily enough when I pulled the flush the two turds, hers and mine would then go away first time. I assume the combined mass and surface area made it easier for the flow of water to shift the. Any theories from Vector or Crimson or other toilet pan experts out there?

Like Dazz I can recal doing a poo in the view of other lads and it didnt bother me. I recall our "Skipper" a lad in his early 20s when I was about 12, coming into the latrine dropping his khaki shorts and Y-Fronts to his knees and then with a grunt I watched as a long, fat firm knobbly jobbie slowly slid out between his fat buttocks. I was amazed at its size as it just seemed to keep coming out and stuck out rigid before dropping into the shallow pit on top of the accumulated turds of the other scouts. I also noticed that he had a whopping erection though whether he was turned on by what he had done or this was purely from the pressure on his prostate from the big hard turd I could hardly ask. Certainly it did turn me on and after he had pulled up his underpants and shorts and gone out I inspected his big jobbie. It was a good 12 inch long and 2.5 inches thick at its fattest part, all knobbly and consisting of compressed boluses so I guess he had been holding it in for a few days. It was slightly curved and tapered to a rounded end and a mid brown colour. As I was sitting there looking at it one of the other lads came in, saw it steaming beneath my bum and thought I had done it. I didnt correct him, and soon some of the lads in my patrol were asking me how I had done such a big one. I enjoyed getting the credit for it. I did read that Nicola recently dumped a whopper on top of another girl's similarly big turd and a workmate thought she had done both while in a very old post Moira did one which stuck in a friend's toilet pan but the teenage son of her hostess got blamed. Has any other reader been mistaken for doing a large turd whaich someone else had previously done and what was the result?

Finally, I have never had any difficulty about peeing when sitting on the toilet, perhaps its something to do with the shape of US toilet pans?

I'm a girl who stands up to do #1. Are there any others? In regard to whoever asked about urine samples for girls, you just hold it right in front of the vagina so it won't go everywhere, and usually, our pee(or at least mine) is in one stream, just thicker then guys'.

How do other teenager deal with their parents when they have accidents? My sister who is only in 3rd grade get in HUGE trouble for accidens, and even when I was in kindergarden, no one EVER had accidents

I'd love to hear ore stories about going in the woods/on the beach!

Friday, February 05, 1999

Trevor: I find it strange that you sit forward on the seat to do #2's. I always sit well back and hold my penis down so that I pee in the water (and NOT the carpet!), and then relax and enjoy the #2. But I'm only of average build, so can understand that someone on the large side might have considerable trouble fitting them bum on the seat, and still have room in front :)

Tony writes "I suppose other readers have found discarded underwear in toilet cubicles." Yes, and behind bushes and even - a couple of times - in quite prominent positions in the streets. I find myself wishing I'd been "in the right place at the right time" to see the reason they were discarded!

Speaking of doing "samples" for the doctor, I've always wondered how women collect their urine specimen. I mean, unlike men, their sream tends to spray out rather uncontrollably. with the tiny cups i've been given at the Dr.'s office, I would think trying to catch their pee woiuld result in getting pee all over. I know this is a small thing, but I was just wondering if any women would care to comment on it?

Hi everyone I live in the UK with my husband and would just like to comment on toilet design. We went to Portugal on holiday last summer and were amazed that the Hotels they're had very low toilets with square seats and a very small hole in it to sit on. First impression when initially sitting on them was not knowing if you are sitting in the right place and was over the hole as there was no recess around it. In the UK the traditional toilets are quite high with a large centre and it feel obvious when you sit down. When we returned after the holiday it felt really strange using the UK toilets again.

Alright, disclaimer time. Exercise extreme caution around open flame. Keep all combustables including hair and clothing at least three feet away. The combustion of hydrocarbons also leads to global warming. I am sure we should have the surgeon general's warning about spontaneous combustion here also. Anyway now that the legal slop is over, the survey will be rewritten after all the results are tabulated and we can see what works and what didn't. It will be kept running to try to get it as close to scientific as possible. The theory on size is pending but I think it is based on "average". Looking at old posts, I would guess that people have a pretty good idea of big vs small. Both of those questions will be added in some form. Thanks

I dont want to make a big issue out of the burning fart situation but I suppose it could cause a "strike back" like a bunsen burner if there was a large collection of methane in the lower bowel. As for the patient in the hospital, I only repeat the story as it appeared a few years ago in a tabloid newspaper, and they are well known for spicing up a story. As I rememeber it the surgeon and nurses got singed by the flash back. Of course cows dont light their farts but the incidents I mention were caused by the methane being ignited by electrical discharges in the cowsheds, either static or some faulty equipment arcing. Anyway, while it might be fun to light up a fart, I can see it could have its risks, for example singing the hair near the anus etc. By the way, has anyone ever burned a turd? Once on a camping holiday myself and Moira used a large plastic bucket to do our jobbies in. When we left we had a bonfire to burn all our rubbish and emptied the contents of the bucket, (turds and toilet paper only), onto the roaring fire. They did burn quite well but gave a nasty smell. Has anyone else incinerated a jobbie?

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