Really gotta goI've just come home from work and now I gotta take a dump sooo bad. I'm sitting on the toilet now and I just let off a hissing fart. There's another fart, it sounded kind of like a zipper. A short but loud fart, now I can feel my hole opening to pass a turd. Flump. Another turd is poking out. Ploop. Splip. I'm peeing a little and my hole is opening wide. Just the head is sticking out. Some more has eased out - Splash. A bit more peeing. I just did a long almost silent fart. Two quick blasting farts and a Splop. A turd is coming out pretty fast. It's growing long very quickly. Floomp. A few more dribbles of pee as I'm pushing out a new turd. Sploosh. I think I'm nearly done, maybe just a few more. Ploop. A zipper-like fart and a hissing fart. Sploop. Ohh I feel so much better now that I've taken a good dump. I'm going to wipe now. It took three wipes for me to get clean. Well, that's all for this time. Bye.
Diarrhea and Horrible Gas After Dried Fruit SnacksHi gang, I'm afraid I'm not feeling very chipper this morning. My belly feels like a balloon. Been up the whole night with horrible gas cramps and what I can only describe as I had better be sitting on the toilet when i feel like passing gas because every fart is of the wet variety, tp invariably required. Now I have a rash from the constant wiping. And just when I think i'm done, I get the bubbly feeling in my abdomen which feels as if I'm being inflated with air by some unbeknownst means, it's as though I go from feeling relieved to experiencing another sudden buildup of more gas again then it's time to drop trou yet once more. It's like I can feel the gas actually forming, think of the classic vinegar and baking soda inflating the balloon school science experiment. Forceful blowouts that bring only momentary relief at best. The snack I ate last night was assorted dried fruits, mostly apricot. The other day when I ate a great amount of prunes and had many bowel movements I did not experience this kind of intense, rapid-forming gas the way I feel now, and looks like there's no end in sight; only thing to do is hang on tight and try to see the silver lining I guess. What cannot be remedied must be endured. I know now to stay away from dried apricots.
pain in both endsthis just happend to me. but , you may need some backround to get it.
i have been having tooth pain lately . i had two meals today for my best friend (normally have just one). everything goes as normal until i lay down to bed. i had tried a few tricks and my tooth feels ok. next thing i know, it feels like what ever is trying to leave me has some sharp stuff in it.after sitting on my bed trying not to move or make a movement . now as i am typing this, my tooth is starting to hurt. what a pain in both ends
My biggest interest is pee and poo desperation and stories about long lines to the ladies room. Do any women here have any stories about waiting in line while desperate? What's the longest line you've ever waited in? (Where was it, how many were in line, how long did you wait, what happened etc.)
ConstipatedHey all. I been busy so I haven't had time to try the prune juice. Even though it doesn't upset my stomach I didn't wanna take a chance and be farting in front of people. haha
Anyway,right now I'm constipated. This afternoon I had to go. I went up and sat on the toilet and pushed and a small ball came out. I squeezed the wall and pushed nothing. Pushed again and 3 small balls game out. Pushed somemore nothing. Finally I got frustrated and went in the shower.
A little while ago I felt like I had to go again and this time I can't go at all. I pushed pretty hard but I couldn't get it out. It would come like a quarter way out then stop and it hurt really bad.
I still have that milk of magnesia from when I was badly constipated. I'm really tempted to take it but I'm scared cause I never took a laxative before.
I can't stand being constipated. I rather have diarrhea.
Shane (female): It was bedlam when my parents tried to either get me to the toilet for an enema or to restrain me from running away. I used to cry and bawl my eyes out. My father had to restrain me. Then, he stopped having any part of it. He thought enemas were brutal.
I used to hang with my girl cousins. We were close and intimate, mothers, daughters, aunts, etc. We shared clothes, bedrooms, bathrooms. We saw and heard each other. My cousin came to visit from England. Her name was Monica. She was very open to me. I was 10. She was 16. One night after dinner, we were curled up on the couch in the lower den watching TV when she said, Where is the toilet? I have to jobbie." I pointed to it and off she went, lifitng her gray skirt, white cotton slip and tugging her light blue nylon bikini panty trimmed with black leg and waist bands. Behind the door, I heard her rustling her clothes when she sat on the bowl, her black butt on the seat and this deep squealing fart. She asked, "Cousin, can I have a magazine or a comic?" I brought it to her. She was on the bowl with her dress and slip around her waist and her panty to her knees. I heard these crackling thuds-six of them. She thanked me for the magazine and she said, "You can keep me company." At one point, she said, "That feels good," and let out a deep buzzing fart. I have one more piece of jobbie and a pee. I heard a plop, another fart and a long pee. I sat on the clothes hamper keeping her company. She said, "You will have stuff like me in a few years." I was not developed. She took paper and wiped herself. She used a lot. When she stood up, there were seven long pieces in the bowl. She pulled up her panty over her nice vagina. It had newly-grown black hair.
Office Worker: I worked in places were both the female workers and bosses came in 1st place for noise and stink. My father used to talk about his fellow judges and the supervising judges. They were no better. He used to talk about the old men who wore boxer shorts and their underwear was in such horrible condition that they used to fall off their waists and backsides. My father used to talk about them like a dog. Then, there were the ones who were constipated. He said the chief judge made the most noise. My mother used to talk about the girls at her job who were constipated in the women's room and the condition of their underwear.
WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS FART WHEN ONLY PEEING
Amanda: We have gas that coincides and our bladder pressure which causes farts. I fart when I have a very full bladder. Boys and men fart the same. In third grade, I had to pee on afternoon at school. I took a stall, lifted my navy jumper, white slip, pulled down my white panties to my knees. As I bent down to sit, my pee squirted out 3x, then in a steady stream with some farts. I was peeing for a long time until it died off. I was praying not to move my bowels in school. I let out all the farts for a few minutes. A meaty young sexy teacher came barging in looking for an empty stall. She went past me and took the next stall, unhitched her gray slacks and pink silk panties to her ankles, and the same happened with her as me. She said, "I am sorry, but teachers have to go to the bathroom and I almost wet my pants." She urinated a gusher and let out some more farts, in addition to the ones as she entered the girls bathroom. She said, "What a relief." We had a secret. Privately, I could call her Geraldine. She did not like the job. She was pretty and moved on to where she could make lots more money. Anyway, we talked for a few minutes. Then, we opened our legs and wiped ourselves. When we came out of the stall, she had not fixed her pants good. They were open, unbuckled, unzipped and partially off her waist. She reached to fix her pants and underwear. She had a nice brunette-hair pussy and a nice smooth behind.
Scott: See my earlier posts. When I was in HS and college, I had some violent close calls after school or the movies or while out in public and I had to get to a toilet either at home or somewhere.
to leandraI am so sorry that happened to you! To total your vehicle is bad enough, but then have dozens of people notice your wet and soiling accident makes everything far, far worse. I think it is normal to be embarrassed, and the embarrassment does abate just because someone says "well, you ought to be glad to be alive." They are not the ones standing in pooped, wet clothes for any and everyone to look at.
Why were so many people around anyway? Aren't police and EMTs supposed to keep onlookers away? I don't mean to make you feel worse, but thank God there were no TV cameras!
I have recently received counseling from a good counselor that I was very comfortable with. If this incident is still bothering you a lot, you might want to consider counseling. I am not saying anything is wrong with you, but it could be very helpful. It helped me a lot (my issues had nothing to do with pooping/peeing). I know it has been 4 years, but it is not too late if this is what you want to do. Heck, I received counseling recently for things that happened to me 20 years ago. Wish I'd done it earlier!
Has this been mentioned?While I am not a regular visitor to your site and I haven't had time to read everything here, I have not - that I can recall, read any posts that regards people who actually speak of the ENJOYMENT they get from their time in the toilet...
I mention that, because, some years ago, my then girlfriend - her name was Julie, did admit to me one night, in an unusual frank state (probably after a couple of drinks!) that she used to really look forward to her daily time sitting on the loo....! I remember her telling me the used to make it last as long as possible and said it gave her great feelings - feeling very wicked in the process.....
Is she on her own??
David- Anne's husband
Anne's big poo, hissing pissing, and being pee-shy.I hope people here enjoyed reading about Anne's "Turd de Force" as I have called it. It sure was a mighty motion and it took longer for her to pass it all than her story might suggest. Indeed she did another short wee-wee between passing the big "brick" as I called it and the smoother easier sausage about 5 minutes later. BTW for John H's info Anne, and many women I have heard, make a whistling or to my ears hissing sound when they do a wee-wee.
PN, I haven't peed standing at a Urinal for decades now and I don't think that I could if I wanted to, which of course I don't, but prefer to use a stall (cubicle) with a bolted door and sit to pee in comfort. This to me is safer, more hygienic as the toilets I use are clean ones, there is no chance of splashing your clothes with urine or even worse your shoes getting soiled by other men's piss, you avoid the unwelcome attention of some men who hang around in public toilets, and are safe from mugging or worse etc when in a very vulnerable situation. If peeing while sitting the bladder is emptied more fully which is also good for health and there is no chance of being caught short by what has been called an "Ambush Motion" that is standing to pee but as you are doing so a poo comes out into the seat of your underpants and you shit yourself. This happened to me in my teens and convinced me of the wisdom of using a stall and sitting to pee and I do this whether at home or elsewhere. I also dry myself with toilet paper after peeing for comfort and hygiene reasons.
i saw a preview for a movie back in 2011. i forget what the movie was called, but in one scene there was this girl sittig on the toilet having diarrhea. i think she said something like, "i shouldnt have had all that thai food."
has anyone here seen this movie?
lighting matchesAdrian and Karen:
My dad used to light matches, too. When I was a kid, for a while I just thought his poo smelled like matches, and then eventually I realized he was using them as air freshener.
I'm pretty sure it's not actually the methane that smells, though, but other (mostly sulfur-containing) compounds that go along with it. Methane by itself is odorless, which is why they actually have to add an artificial smell to natural gas so that you will notice when there's a leak.
accident accidentHi everyone, 39 year old female, with one story to share. About 4 years ago i got into a rather frightening car accident. The accident was very bad, but thankfully i didn't sustain any major injuries. What happened was it was a cold rain one evening and a car had lost control and swerved into my lane..i had to swerve to avoid him and m SUV hit an embankment and rolled over 3 times, finished back upright on the wheels but the cab was all caved in. After those initial moments of terror, i realized i was pretty much okay and not badly hurt. I just had to keep myself from panicking while i was trapped. The other thing was, the bearable and normal urge for a BM i had while i was driving had developed into an emergency need for a BM, i guess it was my nerves about the accident making my need to go worse, but the point was i was trapped in there and i really needed the toilet. I kept holding on and holding on, waiting and waiting for the firemen to free me. There must have been about 10 firemen surrounding the car working on freeing me, and they kept talking to me trying to reassure me and keep me calm. It got to the point where the only thing i could think about was how bad i had to go to the bathroom. I started telling the firefighters about it..telling them i very badly had to go to the bathroom...they just told me I'd be out in no time.... i couldn't keep my mind off it, i was concentrating so hard on holding it in, and soon i started pondering what i was gonna do when i got out of the car. I knew i was on the side of the road not near a toilet, with people all over and no way to drive myself to a bathroom in a hurry. I had no clue what i was gonna do...the urge was too strong. I pretty much had to face the reality that i was about to add to the experience of a terrifying car accident by having a humiliating bathroom accident in my underwear. I knew if i held it long enough to be freed from my car that i was probably just going to end up soiling my pants anyway while i was still on the side of the road being looked over by emt's and talked to by police. And so, to my horror, as a 35 year old woman surrounded by firemen, i did the unthinkable and i accidentally pooped in my pants. It was warm and soft, and it came out feeling rather thick and solid but soft enough that it mushed and spread throughout my pants between my butt and the carseat. It was a surreal feeling that's really hard to describe in words...there a few things comparable to what you feel as you're pooping your pants in public. I sat in quiet shock and terror as the stench filled my mangled chamber of solitude that now i suddenly never wanted to leave. Moments later they had finally cut through enough of the roof that they peeled it back like a tin can, and i was able to get out. My face must've been so red....the fireman knew I'd been saying how bad i had to go to the bathroom, and when i got out one of them was ready to take me over to an ambulance and told me they had a portable commode i could use when i was en route to the hospital to get. Achecked out. Other firemen and police noticed it was already too late though..i stunk, and i had khakis on, so there was quite and apparent brown stain on my bottom soaking through my underwear, and some slight bulging despite the fact that i was sitting down at the moment i pooped myself. To add insult to injury, i didn't realize did it but i looked down and it was clear that i had peed my pants as well. I was ju ina a daze. I felt so humiliated because there were literally dozens of people around and there i was, a grown woman with wet soiled pants. I had to stand around like that for a while talking to police and medics. Someone had draped me with a blanket so i could at least hide my soiled pants but i still stunknd everyone still knew... i got even more embarrassed because i heard one emergency response person tell another how to do something a certain way "because she's messed herself." I didn't know what they were talking about but it was humiliating. Then they even started asking questions about it, like they wanted to know if i soiled myself during the accident or after, and if i was conscious when it happened. I got really defensive and embarrassed that they brought it up...i later found out it was a pertinent question because they were trying to see if I'd had a gran mal seizure or anything at any point among other things and apparently sometimes when people have seizures they void themselves. But i had to tell them nope, i just kinda pooped my pants because i was stuck in my car and really had to go...no less embarrassing medica excuse. Though they did reassure me that it was a good excuse and i shouldn't be embarrassed. Someone made a remark, a female EMT, "hey some people who roll over their cars wind up with a lot worse than dirty underwear so you're pretty lucky." Yeah i guess, but GOD I just wanted them to stop talking about it and let me go change! Finally i was allowed privacy in the back of an ambulance to take off my wet/soiled pants and undewear and clean up with sanitary wipes, and i put a hospital gown on for our ride to the ER where i was examined and released...i was met and picked up there by my husband who was so shaken up he never even seemed to notice that i was wearing only a hospital gown over my shirt and i was carrying my pants and underwear in a bag. I eventually had to tell him later about my pants accident during my car accident, because it was probably the most traumatic part! I mean i think i speak for a lot of women when i say that when it comes to the being rescued by sexy firemen fantasy, having a mess in your pants when they do is pretty much the worst case scenario!
question about shyness and genderI'm curious about something: I've heard of other men being pee-shy to the extent of being physically unable to pee when someone is watching, no matter how full your bladder (I'm sort of that way--- used to be much more than I am now), but I haven't heard of this being a problem for women. I'm curious if that's generally a gender difference, or if it would be true for more women if they didn't have closed stalls. I also have some difficulty on moving planes or trains, even if my bladder is really full. Conversely, I've noticed a few women on this forum mention being a bit shy about pooping, although I gathered that's more a matter of being bashful about making noise rather than physically unable. My unscientific generalization from experience in men's rooms is that a lot of us aren't particularly shy about making noise, whereas I myself prefer to enjoy a contemplative moment alone. Any comments?
About my cousinEvery summer, I spend a couple of weeks with my grandparents on their farm out in the country. My cousin Vicki lives with them full-time, and so those weeks are the only time we get to spend together. I always enjoy my stay with grandma and grandpa, but last summer was one I won't soon forget.
Before I begin, I guess I should describe Vicki. She's 13, just a year younger than I am, and she's kind of short, but I think she just hasn't quite hit her major growth spurt yet and might grow several inches in the coming years. She has hazel eyes and strawberry blonde hair she wears in pigtails. She doesn't really dress like a girl. She usually wears jeans and a flannel shirt, except on Sundays, when she puts on a dress to wear for church. She also has a lot of energy. After we finish morning chores, I'm ready for a nap, but she's not tired in the slightest. Though to be fair, I don't typically perform farm-type chores except during the weeks I stay at the farm, but she does them every day. And at dinner she always asks for seconds of whatever we're having, and if she's especially hungry, she'll have a third helping.
Ever since I was little kid, for reasons I don't fully understand, I've had a fascination with girls peeing and pooping. Often I would watch Vicki eat all that food, and imagine it leaving her body the next day. I'd picture her sitting on the toilet and pooping out a bunch of big turds, loading the toilet full of her poop. Though this was fun for me to imagine, I never even dreamed I'd ever get to see it. That is, until one day...
Vicki and I were eating lunch and we made plans to go to the lake with a swim, and maybe ask the neighbor boy to come with us. The lake was a fair distance away, so we were sure to bring plenty of water for the journey. We went a little out of our way to visit the neighboring farm and soon the three of us were off to the lake. We jumped in the lake and enjoyed a good long swim. The neighbor boy left early to get home and then it was my just me and Vicki. We swam for a few more minutes before we got out. As we were drying off, I felt a need to poop, but I was confident I could hold it until we got home. Then Vicki said she had to go to the bathroom. I told her she could have just peed in the water, but then she said she had to go number two, very bad. I confided in her that I too had to poop, but I didn't want to go outside. She said it was too late for that and she had no choice.
She walked a little ways then turned around and asked if I was coming. I replied that I thought she'd want privacy. What happened next shocked me. She said that if we were both doing number two, she didn't care, and we could go next to each other. I pinched myself to ensure this wasn't all just an elaborate dream, and lo and behold I was actually awake. We walked a little into the woods and found a good spot to go. She pulled down her jeans and panties and I followed suit. We squatted next to one another. I began peeing and she immediately began pooping. She peed in spurts while pooping and it took me a bit to start pushing out my own turd. By the time I had dropped just one, she had pushed out three and was working on a fourth. I squeezed out one more and we finished up at about the same time. Looking at out poop, I saw that my dump was made up of two fairly big around turds, and Vicki's was a pile made up of smaller turds, but it easily dwarfed my production.
I made a comment that she had pooped a lot. She shrugged it off saying that she just does big number twos like that, usually twice every day. Then she said that since we didn't have anything to wipe with, we should get back in the lake and wash our butts. I agreed, and we did just that. We finished drying off, and then we started the walk back to the farm together.
Last Cloth DiaperSo today i was going shopping, so i got myself ready. As i mentioned in my last post, my mom had bought me 3 really nice plastic and cloth reusable diapers, 2 of which id disposed of after using. Id decided they weren't for me, too gross to carry around, I'm sticking with Pampers. But i had one cloth one left so i thought id at least use it once (i guess they were pretty expensive). So i put it on (comfy!), along with my favorite black tights and denim miniskirt, but i packed a bunch of Pampers. Shortly after arriving at the mall i took a long pee which my cloth diaper soaked up, but it felt kind of wet. So i changed into a Pampers and chucked the cloth one in the garbage. Later i peed again while in a store. Huge difference, with the Pampers i can feel the diaper getting heavy and sinking into my tights but there is no wet feeling, and after i change its into the garbage with it. Later after a food court lunch i was gassy and ended up taking a solid dump in my diaper. The top of my tights was kind of tight and pushed against my Pampers which made it hard to poop at first, but my body quickly pushed the poop in there. I wrapped the poop and wipe filled Pampers up in itself And tied it up in a plastic bag for disposal in the trash.
Haven't posted here in quite a while (since pg. 1757 with my high school dump experiences). Plenty of interesting posts to absorb since.
Anyway, I've been in college for years now but still do not particularly enjoy public restrooms. I will use them for a piss at my local college, that is it. Doesn't usually matter since I poop in the morning at my place first. However, my dumps are not what I would like them to be since I have had GI problems for a while. When that subsides, my normal dump sessions are renewing. Two best recent ones come to mind.
Dump #1..Woke up around 8 am which is typical for me. I lazily farted in bed for half an hour before finally feeling the solid waste reach my butthole. Got up, entered my bathroom, pulled my boxer briefs to my knees and had a seat on the can. No actual rush, since it was the holidays and no important college stuff to do. First I pissed into the bowl, hurrying it along so i could try and dump. After my piss stopped, I sat for a few moments and concentrated. Finally, progress! A long hiss of a fart exited my ass and I felt the tip of a solid turd poke out my anus. It wasn't a very hard log so I pushed my rectal muscles and the turd crackled out an inch and made plopped into the bowl. Felt okay, but I wasn't done. Pushed again, a more forceful fart coming out followed by a four inch turd (thats what it felt like!) slithered out and hit the water with another plop. Didn't quit pushing and some soft turds quickly shot out with the help of a fart. I was finished by then. Not a bad BM I guess. Wiped well and left to shower..
Dump #2..no pun intended!..so this time I had foregone the urge to dump the day prior. Not usually the case, but that was cool. It was 4pm and college had ended. Headed to my bathroom, belt came down followed in seconds by my jeans and boxers. (I don't often "ankle" everything, I find pulling my pants to my knees comfortable.) I peed first and emitted an audible toilet fart as usual. Sat for two minutes as a decent sized solid log exited my asshole without my pushing. It felt nice coming out by itself until it again stopped moving near the end of it. My dump broke off and fell into the bowl. I pushed again and the rest of my poop came out in two successive last plops. Nice bathroom smell by then..
All of note for now. Take care all.
I am taking a shit in a porta-loo right now. There's no toilet roll left so do i wipe with my knickers or not wipe? :S
To Mega GirlLove the accounts of the construction site. that would have been interesting to watch especially the mixer and the dump truck. Hope you continue to have fun and share the experiences with us.
good story about your sisters best friend.
a little bit overoptimistic from her to dare to dance and flirt in spite of how bad she had to go.
but she risked it...and it backfired in a big way
probably the turd already was poking out between her cheeks while she asked if she could "powder her nose"
but she had a blessing in disguise..if she had wore a thong and lost her poop while she ran to the bathroom, it would have been much more embarrassing for her.
three more logs,each one one foot long,AFTER she pooped her panties?
she must be a "big girl" or did not take a poop a few days before...
How long was the turd in her panties?
did she hooked up with the guy?...because she did a really good effort and flirted with him as long as she could clench her cheeks..and even a little bit longer...
such an effort must have been rewarded in the end...haha
comments & stuffTo: Mega Girl as always another great set of stories it sounds like your friend had a mega colon thats how she produces those big ones I think and it sounds like she probaly felt pretty good afterwards and great story about you pooping and peeing in that construction site it sounds like you had a lot of fun there and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Desperate To Poop as always another great desperation poop story and it sounds like you just happened to pick the time when everyone had to go to but at least you made it and didnt have an accident and I bet you felt great afterwards to and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Zach great story about that girl pooping it sounds like she was having a major dump she must have been embarrassed about all the noise and smell but also very releived as well.
To: Scott great story about your wifes desperate dump it sounds like she was just miliseconds away from an accident but at least she made it and I bet she felt great afterwards and please share anymore stories about her thanks.
To: Natalie X as always another great story it sounds like you had a very nasty time to bad you messed your panties a bit but at least most of it ended up in the toilet and yeah food poisoning is not fun and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
Well thats all for now.
Sincerly Brandon T
PS. I love this site
Just a guy
Desperate to poop - that was another great story! It was very thoughtful of you not to keep the others waiting although, you weren't completely finished. It was especially nice since you said spent another 10 minutes later, so there was still plenty left to be done. I have on occasion got up not being sure if I was completely done, in a crowded bathroom, not wanting to keep others waiting as I sit 2-3 minutes to make sure, but I'm not sure I would have given up the toilet if I knew I had to go more.
Sarah Nicola's friend
Held it too longI was just finishing work last night and I really needed to poo. I'd been in a meeting all day and hadn't been for three days so I was getting really desperate. I was going to use to the toilet before I left work but everyone was waiting to use it and I knew I'd stink it up with my smelly load so I decided to hold it until I got home. I got into my car when I felt an aching in my bowels as the pressure grew and I had to clench hard to keep it in. I started the car and reversed out of the parking space but then the pressure in my bowels increased and I had to clench using all my strength to avoid messing my pants. The aching got worse as a result and I had to drive through the traffic with my anus clenched tightly. I couldn't concentrate on the driving as all my focus was aimed at avoiding having an accident in on pants and not the road. Suddenly a van pulled out of a side road and I had to brake hard to avoid it. I felt my anus open and barely managed to close it shut before a little bit of soft poo slipped out into my pants. It felt all warm and sticky as it squished up between my bum cheeks and I had to drive with it stinking the car up. The traffic didn't want to speed up and with the urge to poo getting worse by the minute I knew I was in trouble. My bowels were aching quite badly by now and I was so desperate for some relief. I even thought about giving up but I couldn't do it in My nice new car. When I eventually got home I parked the car in the driveway and opened the door to get out when my bowels decided to push against my will. I took a deep breath and clenched with every once of strength I had and it worked just long enough to get out of the car and close the door. Then the pressure increased sharply and so did the pain. I tried to clench harder but the pain got worse and so did the pressure behind my anus. I felt another involuntary push and an overwhelming urge to let it happen. My bowels ached like hell and my bowels pushed again and with a lot more power. I tried to fight it but it was hopeless. All I could do was relax and let it come out in my pants. I started to wet myself while my pants filled to capacity. It was a very messy load but the relief of it was pure heaven. I kept going for ages as you can imagine not going for three days and I have to say it again but the relief was indescribable. Once it was all out I felt a hollow sensation inside my bowels and I went indoors to have the biggest clean up ever!
Farty PartiesHere is a storie I heard.It was that my Grandpa told once where a man was sitting on the toilet back in the late 40's where that man farted so many times the toilet exploded.
And when I was 8 back in 1988,we where visiting and elderly couple and my Dad got up and told them what my Mom's beans did to his pants and he had holes in the rear of his pants.
And when I was 10 we went to this Space meuseum in Huntsville AL. Me and my Dad was leaving the restroom where some bald man was peeing at an urinal and he let a long fart,And my Dad goes,WELL I GUESS SOMEONE HAD BEANS TODAY!
Nate R.Great storie about the egg farts.I had those kind of farts when I eat a salad with cold eggs in it.
The Day Of PrunesThis happened today. Short version: PRUNES, and plenty of 'em. I ate a lot of prunes today to clean my stomach and colon to get ready to get more active now that the weather is milder. I don't want a lot of residue in my colon left over from lowcarbing when I ramp up my activity level. I noshed on prunes throughout the day. I lost count of how many times I've used the bathroom but each time it was less brown and more watery and then until finally it was like I was passing prunes a half hour after eating some. Didn't feel like diarrhea though, it actually felt great to get all that stuff out. I did feel pretty nauseous for a while in the afternoon but that was probably just a detox symptom, but after a walk and a nap I woke up feeling super after a few more BMs, I guess I literally pooed the problem away. Smelled really bad, like almost a chemical smell but when I started pooing clear liquid toward the end it was for all practical purposes, odorless. I have that super lightweight feeling and tons of energy. Next phase of this diet calls for all the ???? and unsweetened fruit I want, which I start tomorrow. Almost at goal, just a few pounds left to go which I want to take off slowly and steadily and permanently.
Brandon T: Hi Brandon, looking forward to baseball? I am. That last dump I posted about sure DID make me feel like a million bucks!
Amy L: Your bladder should be fine. Your body will actually reabsorb water from the bladder if it is not released, but you'd most likely have an accident before any harm could be done.
Amanda: I think the reason for the passing gas while peeing is that most people hold back their gas until an appropriate opportunity arises to release it, and what better time than while peeing? By then who cares about the noise when others hear you peeing anyways? Two birds with one stone, right?
Adrian: I second that, about the safety with matches and methane! Of course I would hope that someone trying this would have the good sense not to be sitting on the toilet haha. Speaking of self-injury when blueflaming, well in my younger days we had a good friend who was like one of the family who did just that, I'll never forget. It was in the 70s and he had on a pair of polyester slacks that were in style at the time, and let's just say cotton is what you need to be wearing if you do this for whatever reason. Juvenile, but I gotta admit I had to laugh. It was like "Look! me caveman, me burn poot with lighter! toot! poof! haha! funny! me laugh!" then POOF and "awww f---, g-- d---mit, s---," and there was about a four inch spot of melted fabric on his bum. A result of not only the fart igniting but probably mostly because he held the lighter too close to begin with. We got him into my brother's car and he rode face down in the backseat all the way to the hospital. I think the doctor had to actually remove some melted polyester from the dermis, then after treatment he sat on one of those inflatable swim ring looking cushions for a couple of weeks and pretty much stayed out of the public eye until he had healed enough. He passed away from a heart attack not long ago but I know he'd get a real kick out of this site, he was into the toilet humor thing. I know he'd probably have some great contributions because you never saw such a skinny guy eat so much food.
Bursting bladderOur school district has an annual concert where all the 8th grade music students such as myself go up to the largest high school (where I will be going next fall) and perform with the top high school music students from like 7 schools. We spent all day practicing and we performed that evening for several hundred parents.
My problem was that by 11 a.m. when we had a break in rehearsal, I knew I would have to piss since our next break wasn't going to be for 2 hours and the guest director is from a university and really tough. Our bathrooms at my school are really small, like 3 or 4 stalls each, and they are located in 3 places on each floor. With the exception of 1 time, I've never had a problem using them. That 1 time, when I was crying over a test grade, I took the seat and started pissing, without pulling my underwear down. The high school bathrooms are the hugest I've ever seen. Like 15 or 16 stalls on each side of a large room and on the other side of the wall are all the sinks and mirrors. I was starting to feel some pain but had to wait for a stall to open. I got in, there was no latch on the door, and I seated myself. No matter how hard I tried for like 10 minutes I couldn't get my stream started. I had to go back to the stage, actually running when I heard the last of the girls leave the bathroom. When we had our lunch break at 1, I went back in. Lucky for me, there were open stalls this time and I took the first one on my left, threw myself onto the seat, and again, was unable to get my stream started. I did, however, fart a few times and release what my mom calls a pellet of crap. I looked at my phone, realized I need to get down to the cafeteria, and I gave up again in pain. On my way downstairs, I came across the small door that said Faculty. I prayed that it was a toilet and luckily the door wasn't locked. There was just 1 stool, a sink and a trashcan. A few seconds after I seated myself my piss stream started. It went strongly for about three minutes. I was almost crying out of happiness. I didn't flush because I didn't want to draw attention to myself and I quickly went down to lunch. I had to piss again on the later break and I went to the same bathroom. It hadn't been used since I was last in there. I was so thankful.
I had a full crap when I got home and made sure I emptied my bladder before my parents and I went back for the concert. I'm worried though about having to use those huge bathrooms every day beginning in August.
What can I do?
Latest StoriesHello, everyone. Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but I've been busy w/ schoolwork. Here is the first story:
I was in my ballroom dance class getting ready when one girl came in about 10 minutes late. She said to me, "My stomach hurts. That's why I was so late! I ate too much trail mix." From that statement, I came to the conclusion that she had pooped a lot on her way to class as a result of eating a lot of trail mix.
The second story is from yesterday. I hadn't pooped all day that day, even though I felt a slight urge to. My family and I went to the movies, then we ate at the food court. I ate a foot long sub, some fries, and a Dr. Pepper. As I caught the bus back to school, I suddenly felt the urge to poop even stronger than ever. I let out a few farts as I walked across the soccer field to my dorm. By the time I got to my room, I was bursting for a poo. I put my things away, then rushed to the restroom. As soon as I sat on the toilet, I let out another fart, then began to push. I noticed that there was a slight skidmark in my underwear, but nothing major. The turds I let out were so huge that they made my eyes water. I was having a rough time getting them out, despite the fact that I was desperate for a poo. When I was done, I wiped several times, then looked into the toilet to see a turd about 6 or 7 inches long and 3 inches wide standing up and sticking out of the water and a slightly smaller turd sitting at the bottom of the bowl. I flushed, washed my heads, then headed to the cafe for dinner.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Sitting to pee and ambush motionsAdrian. Thanks for the info on the M&S knickers. I have worn girls' then women's knickers for many years now as I find them more comfortable. As of course they have no fly it is easier to use a cubicle/stall, pull them down and sit on the pan to pee like a female. This also empties the bladder more fully and avoids "ambush motions" and in my teens I was caught out by one of these and did a poo in my pants when standing to opee at a urinal and that was one of the reasons I decided to sit to pee from then on. Unlike yourself I have no problems sitting on the seat in a public toilet, be that for a wee-wee or a motion. I tend to use those in pubs, restaurants, shopping malls etc which are usually cleaned on an hourly basis and where there is more than one cubicle should the first one I enter have a dirty seat. To be honest I feel a lot safer behind a bolted door in a public toilet than I would standing at a urinal to pee and I can't remember the last time I actually did so, it must be decades ago now! Still each to his own.
I have nagged Anne to post her story of what I have named her "Turd de Force" when she passed a huge motion after five days when she had been in bed with the mini-flu which is doing the rounds in England at present. She told me to "hold on" and it would be produced today when she comes home from seeing some customers as she now works part time as a consultant. She will post about her big BM tonight.
girlfriends mum peeingPost Title (optional)Hey all, the other day my partners mum was over and i was on the computer in the spare bedroom next to the toilet. in one of my earlyer posts i talked about putting a recorder in the toilet and i was considering doing that again but for some reason I put it off. As soon as her mum arived she went into the toilet. She left the door ajar and I could clearly hear her dropping her trousers and sitting on the toilet. She must have needed to go very badly if she left the dorr open and as soon as she sat on the toilet she released a long streem of pee that hit the water in the bottom of the bole. Her pee made a slight whistling noise as it came out of her. I have heard this sound from girls having a pee several times before and its one I never get tired of hearing. I whish I had put my recorder in there but maybe next time.
Panties full of poopSo last night i was out with my bf. we ate dinner and he brought me home after. On the way i got a need to poop. I thought nothing of it and we kept driving. Then i got hit with a sharp pain. I knew i was going to be having a big poopie to clean out of my undies. As i got out of his truck i started going and i have no way of stopping it after that. I walked into my bathroom and shut the door and then my stepmom tells me tge toilet is broken and tonight se would allow me to poo my pants. So let 5 huge solid logs into my underwear. I grabbed a new pair and dumped the poop in the yard. Then hopped in the shower. Boy did that shit stink.
My other story is from 2 weeks ago. I was at my moms for the weekend and i had to poop when jess and danielle were over and then i smelt poop and thought i let some out. But jess stood up and streched and i saw up her skirt and saw a big fat turd in her underwear. Tgen danielle shit her pants cuz she doesnt use public toilets. We all went in the bathroom together and empited out poops in the toilet. And threw out underwear in the hamper for my mom to clean. We all whiped up and got back to doung things.
commentsPost Title (optional)hey just a few quick comments.
To the squatter, that was an interesting story. I have never experienced toilets like the ones you described. I can guess that squatting would get to the backs of your legs after a while. I'm sure I wouldnt last to long in a toilet like that. Hope I get to try it one day.
To Natalie X, thanks for sharing that story with us. It really sounded like a very messy situation. you have to go when you have to go though and I wouldnt regret it as it wasnt your fault the food yu had was dodgy.
To Rex, welcom and do let us know how yu get on with your bag idea. I dont think keeping it and reusing it is a good idea though. best throw it out, you can always get another one if you want.
To Jessica, I can understand why you would rather not keep used diapers with you at all times. it may be more expencive but at least you can dump the disposables after you have used them.
Anne -David's wife
My Turd de ForceAt last I have the time to post about my "Turd de Force" as David calls it, adapted from the expression "Tour de Force" done after I had been constipated and hadn't had a motion for 5 days. I had caught this mini-flu bug that has been doing the rounds in Britain . It didn't affect my digestion but made me have aches and pains, alternate shivering and overheating , headache and a loss of energy. As I now only work part time and often from home over the Internet I stayed in. Although unwell I was still eating as usual and the lack of exercise, my sweating quite a bit, although I ensured I drank plenty of fluid, and the codeine in the medicine I was taking resulted in me not needing a poo most of that week. Like David I don't have a BM every day, but only two or sometimes three times a week is my normal rhythm. During my flu episode I simply didn't feel the need to defecate and wasn't bothered about it as I knew I would go eventually. David found this amusing and even came into the toilet with me which I of course don't mind although I only needed to pee. I have never tried to force myself to do a motion as such straining can cause piles or an anal fissure.
On the Friday being back on my feet and walking around the house etc I felt stirring in my belly and the need to have a motion but although I could feel a large hard jobbie in my rectum it wasn't coming down and all I did was fart a lot. David gave me a massage gently rubbing my belly and he also gently inserted some KY Jelly (a lubricant) into my back passage to help me pass my big turd. I also rode my exercise bike as this often helps get things moving. Sure enough a few hours later I felt a big hard lump come down and we both went into our ensuite toilet. David suggested that it would be better if I did my motion into a large plastic bucket we have as if I passed a big load it would not merely get stuck in the pan but the turds could jam together and clog the pipes when we did get it to flush away and this had happened before. I had no problems with doing this and David half filled the bucket with water and I pulled my white Sloggi Maxi Briefs (I think Adrian will like this detail) down to my knees and sat on the bucket. I did my wee-wee which tinkled into the water then started to emit several loud farts. A few wee lumps of poo came away PLIP! PLOP! PLINK! Then with David encouraging me I bore down and felt three bigger balls come out as I grunted NN, PLONK! UH, PLOONK! NN, KAPLUNK! I then felt the big one start to emerge from my back passage and with NNs and UHs I slowly pushed this fat knobbly jobbie out of me into the water of the pan with an almighty KUR-SPLOOMP! the splash wetting my bum. I wasn't finished though as I could feel more poo moving down and as I sat on the bucket a smoother but equally fat jobbie came out under its own steam and slid into the pan with a FLIMP! A final fart and another short wee-wee and I was finished.
When I got my breath back and wiped myself I got up off the bucket, pulled up my knickers and David and I inspected my motion. There were some small nuggets of poo and three bigger balls the size of tangerines but the two outstanding jobbies were the fat hard log I had passed with a lot of effort. This was about 12 inches long and as fat as a coke can and very dark brown like then other turds I had passed before it and consisted of compacted boluses. No wonder it had been difficult to pass. The other turd was quite different. Just as fat and about 9 inches long , solid and well formed but smooth, curved like a brown cucumber, and a lighter khaki-brown colour. I went to bed with David but we just had a nice cuddle as I was too tired by my exertions. When it was dark David emptied the bucket of its heavy load into the sewage interceptor trap in the back garden where it wouldn't block the pipes.
Sorry for the WaitHello everyone im back with two more stories! I havent posted in a while do to internet problems but im back again. One story took place at my sisters wedding ten years ago at Jasper national park. (canada)
My sisters best friend was the maid of honor and unfortuneatly had some bad bowel problems, causing her to have sudden needs to go let loose huge turds but allowed her to hold in these big poops while the urge was away. So after my sister IS married during the "afterparty" dance she approached me and said she wanted to dance with one of the grooms friends but had to go poop and probably would be in the bathroom through the whole dance. I told her just to go and flirt but she went and asked for a dance any ways. While dancing i saw her with a troubled face and the guy seemed to notice nothing. After the dance she asked if she could freshen up and ran to the bathroom really fast, then called me over. I entered the bathroom with her and said shed crapped herself. I couldnt help but giggle. I helped her thake her dress off and then she let out the large turd that was in her panties. it didnt smell and left verry few marks on her panties. She sat down and farted pretty just barely audible. She let three more large turds into the toilet and left. they were probably a foot long each, (im dont use imperial system might be wrong) I had to go pretty badly by then and added two large turds to her pile. Thick but not too long.
Another story of mine took place at an old construction site. I like to poop at abandoned places sometimes, farms, old bathrooms, never finished houses, etc. So i found three places i wanted to go and went. First i peed in an old drinking fountain disconnected from anything. It was a pretty long stream put npt very powerful. Next i pooped into a cement mixer two soft turds, long and decently thick. Then i went up into an old broken dump truck and pooped and peed into the seat. Some diarreah, a long coiling turd and a little stream of pee that leaked into the cupholder. (what kind of dumptruck has cupholders?) Anyway thats all for now, BYE!
Desperate to poop
Desperate Poop at the train stationHi all
I had a desperate poop at the train station, coming back from Butlins and a drink and food laden week, caught up on my bowels and on the way back needed a dump, between trains I went to use the toilets at the station but they were out of order the ladies, disabled only. I had an hour to wait for my connection so couldn't wait that long.
Went to the disabled toilets and there was a queue of 7 ladies waiting for one toilet. I was getting quite desperate so just had to tought it out in the line. I thought about the gents but that was very busy and I wasn't brave enough.
In line were 2 20 yr olds, a 50 yr old, a couple of 40 yr olds and a mother and daughter. The 2 20 yr olds were peeing and were in and out in about 4 minutes. Which now left five people and I was hoping most others would need to pee as I was now getting more desperate. The 50 yr old had been rubbing her ???? slightly though and as expected she was in for 4-5 minutes, which was making it agony for me. She finally flushed and one of the 40 yr olds got in and was quickly out with just a pee, the other 40 yr old also just needed to pee. That made me relieved but i had noticed the mother farting and looking a bit pained so I guessed she needed a pooh (and boy did she). I was quite close and just made out her telling her daughter to go and then she had to go so wait there. She was in for ages, which was agony for me, I could hear farting so it must have been quite loud as it was quite noisy. Five minutes passed and I was getting very desperate and five other ladies were now waiting. I got chatting to the lady next to me who commented on the wait. I was trying hard to hold my poo in and not be too obvious with a poo dance but it wasn't easy.
Another 2-3 minutes passed and I was getting more desperate and the lady next to me noticed. She asked was I ok and I said I would be if I got in soon as I needed the loo quite badly. In the line a few people also had there legs crossed and were playing with their hair.
Finally after 3 more minutes she came out, apologised as I dashed in, I hurriedly sat down and had a soft serve gushing. I got as much out as I could without taking up too much time (as the queue was huge), the relief was immense and I couldn't help ..
I finished after five minutes, still knowing I needed to go more but enough to finish the rest off on the train ride home. I spent another 10 mins taking my time on the train
More repliesAmy L. The bladder is meant to be emptied and regularly holding for a lot longer than nature intends isn't a good thing. However I don't think a one off hold such as you've described should do any permanent harm. However I'd qualify that by saying that if you're at all worried, I'd check it out with your doctor.
Karen. I've heard the one about striking a match to eliminate the smell after a poo. In fact in a previous existence I had a work colleague who did just that. However there are two cautions I'd add. Whilst practically everyone's poo smells, not everyone actually produces methane gas so striking a match might not necessarily be completely effective against them. Secondly, methane gas is highly flammable - as people who've tried to light their own farts (a highly dangerous practice and NOT one to try at home) have sometimes discovered to their cost.
David. The M & S knickers are ladies ones and very comfy they are too. I was interested to hear that you sit to pee, even when away from home. To be honest I will occasionally sit to pee at home or at work, particularly when I suspect the need for #2 might not be far behind. I'm sure you've heard of ambush motions! However when I'm out in public and I need to pee I prefer to (a) stand and (b) use a urinal. Maybe I'm a little fussy but I don't like sitting on public toilets unless it's for a 'sit down job' and really unavoidable. I'm looking forward to hearing the account of Annes constipation poo. Hope you're both keeping well and managing to empty yourselves when you need to.
WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS FART WHEN ONLY PEEINGit seems women always fart while peeing the toilet restroom stall. they do not care if other women are around and how loud they fart. they quickly state its the women restroom and young kids, older folks, and other women are not important the only important is that the pee and fart as loud as they can. on top of that, the can't control their urine flow and once it starts, the can't slow down and it too is very loud and continuous.
comments & stuffTo: George yep your right its not a no and I bet the woman that passed that turd probaly felt great afterwards and I look forward to C's response.
To: NPU (noisy poopers united) as always another great story it sounds like you had a great poop and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Amy L first welcome to the site and to my knowledge your bladder should be fine and from what I read your bladder wont explode it will just empty it self when it reaches its limits and please post anymore stories that you may have thanks.
To: Anri great story it sounds like you really had to poop and it sounds like it was a pretty nasty one to and I bet you felt really great afterwards to and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Jacob great story about seeing your aunt pooping it sopunds like she really had to go and I bet she felt great afterwards and I bet you will never forget that either and please share anymore stories like that thanks.
To: Karen as always another great story it sounds like that was a pretty interesting dump I bet that it was a sight to see and I bet you felt great afterwards and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Jessica as always another great story about you poop and peeing in diapers and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: David great story about you listening and seeing your moms poop.
Well thats all for now.
Sincerly Brandon T
PS. I love this site
Hottest Girl at SchoolThere's this girl at my school who's name is Tara. She is a really pretty girl. Like, she is ridiculously hot. She has blonde hair and a really curvy body, like a big butt and big boobs, but not fat at all, she's got it where it counts. She's pretty short (probably only 5'5) and she's also fairly nice. She is only a freshman and when she first came to our school we thought that she was an old friend of ours. (The two girls look very similar.) So we were trying to find out who she was. One day at lunch we saw that she had the same lunch as us. My friend, Mike, was trying to find an opportunity to go up and ask her what her name was. As he was getting up to approach her she got up and went to the bathroom. Mike figured we should just wait and ask her when she came out but 20 minutes went by and she still didn't come out, we were starting to think lunch was gonna end and we would miss our chance. So our friend Brittney said she would go into the bathroom and just ask her her name. To be fair we thought that she was just in there because she had no friends at the school yet and didn't know anyone in the lunch room.So Brit goes in and she's in there for about 5 minutes when all, then Tara walks out. Brittney comes back right as lunch is ending and tells us, "She was in there taking the nastiest dump ever. She was farting these really loud wet farts and firing off logs like cannonballs." We all shared a laugh, Brittney said, "It smells so bad in there, she literally stunk everyone out." Mike asked "How do you know it was her?" I guess not wanting to accept that such a girl could take such a nasty poop. Brittney said, "I could all of her grunting and sighing coming from the stall, I could hear the farting and plopping, I could see her ugg boots, and finally I saw her come out of the stall. I think I'm positive it was her." As we walked by the bathroom we could all smell the very strong poop odor. Brittney went back in and then same out and said "Man, she really destroyed that toilet." We were all giggling like idiots, and then Tara (we found out her name much later) walked by. We all kinda stared at her. I couldn't help but just stare at her ass, thinking, wow that's a really nice ass. I didn't even consider what was coming out of it.
To: Amy LIt's not too likely that you did, however, it's possible. I've heard of people who have held their bladder for a long time, and then have had trouble later on with holding their urine, but it's usually a temporary thing. (You may find out that you are temporarily incontinent. (Most likely a few hours or a day or so.)) It's not likely that your bladder will burst unless there is a sudden increase in pressure such as being in a car crash with the belt on and over your bladder. Things to watch out for are: abdominal pain, blood in urine, difficulty going, or low output when you haven't been for some time. (The low output may be from a lack of the bladder contracting which leaves residual urine in the bladder.) The only way to know for sure is to see your doctor, or an urologist. I would say that you should give it 24 - 48 hours to see what happens, and in the meantime, if there is severe pain, or fever, get to your doctor or emergency room ASAP. You'll probably be okay.
correction: oops to MichelleI apologize Michelle, I thought you were "Michelle (formerly MS)". Sorry for the mix up!
Back to ChinaHi,
i posted a few months ago about my first visit to Beijing and how I had come to enjoy using the communal squat toilets there.I was amazed by how natural it became to pee and poo with other people looking at me.In fact i became quite bored by having to use normal western style loos in the UK and started to experiment with pooing outside to remind me of my Chinese experiences.My partner is not into this at all,so it has remained a solitary pursuit,although in the past I have been open in my bathroom activities with previous gir friends.
Anyway,i had the chance to return to Beijing a couple of weeks ago and as soon as i had a free moment,i made my way to the public toilet i had used in the past.Nothing had changed.On one side of the entrance to the gents segment there were 2 urinals.And on the other side there were four squat pans with no partitions spaced about 2 feet apart.What struck me when going in was how modern the toilets were-although the toilets had obviously been refurbished in the last few years,the Chinese were happy to keep the old very public arrangements in place.
All of the squat pans were being used when i entered the toilets and there was one other guy waiting in front of me.It was about 10 in the morning.I guess this is prime shitting time worldwide!Nobody seemed in much of a hurry to vacate their place and one guy was reading a newspaper which is quite an art when you are squatting to have a poo.the atmosphere was friendly and nobody seemed bothered that a Westerner was watching them.There was no effort to hide the bodily functions taking place,so there was lots of farting and the noise of pee and poo hitting the metallic squat pans.
Eventually 2 guys wiped and left ,leaving a squat pan free for me at the end of the row.i lowered my trousers and pants and squatted over my hole.So far,so good.i kept my legs quite far apart and pushed as normal.A couple of small farts emerged but i had become constipated,probably as a result of sitting down in a plane for too long.This was where things became more difficult.I know ClaireN has mentioned that she is interested in having a poo in a chinese loo.But i would say that there are a couple of embarrassing points about it,one of them being that as a Westerner i cannot squat for very long.After a few minutes of straining until i felt red in the face,i had to stand up and then squat down again which caused some amusement with the other occupants.However it did the trick and a couple of hard knotty stools eventually squeezed out to my great relief.I then had a strong pee straight down into the bowl which caused a loud tinkling noise.The next thing to do was get my tissue paper from my pocket and wipe my bum.this is the other slightly embarrassing bit.its fine when there isnt a lot of mess but examining your loo paper when its covered in loose stuff when there is someone you,ve never met before only 2 feet away takes a bit of getting used to.
So that was my first poo back in China.For the rest of my stay I toured around the country and used the public loos extensively.i will write about those later.
Out walkingMy wife and I were out with a friend and we had been to whetherspoons for lunch. My wife had a fried breakfast and I had a burger. On the way home she said she needed a toilet but she only needed a wee. On the bus back to his house she said she needed to poop too as the bus had moved her stomach around a bit. When we were nearly back to his place she farted which smelt really bad. When we got in the front door she quickly handed me her coat and went upstairs. She told me afterwards that she was really desperate at that point and that's why she did that. She nearly didn't make it and almost did it in her knickers but got to the toilet just in time and exploded into the toilet. Anyone else have any stories like this?
SnakeSo I know it's been a while, I'm sorry.
The other day I had the strangest poo.
It was green with white flecks in it, and it wasn't wide like most my poo but it was still really long, it curled in the bowl most perfectly and looked JUST like a snake, If it wasn't for the toilet paper, I was thinking of photographing it, Photoshopping it, and maybe linking the picture to make it look like a snake coming out of my toilet but well. My parents were over and I think running to my room then running back to the bathroom with a camera would have freaked them out!
On the large poo point however, have you ever had a poo come out of you that was so large it blocks off the way to your bladder? I hate it when I go to the bathroom to pee, and I can't, then I poo and it's like a dam has broken and I can pee for up to 2 and a half minuets!
Thursday, March 08, 2012