End Stall Em
Conclusion of The Snow, The Park & Other ThingsMy cousin Jacob from California visited us over the first five days of Christmas break. He's 12, one year younger than me and still in middle school. He had never seen snow before and he and I left home at 4:30 a.m. to walk to a nearby park and do some sledding. He pulled me and two sleds in a large toboggan for two blocks over icey streets to get to the park.
Once we got into the park and onto the grass still about a block from the top of the hill, Jacob again did an ass-flop. It was so funny even the second time because we're talking and he's pulling me on the toboggan and I look up to see his feet in the air and a second or two later he's on his back. I stayed seated and again burst out laughing as he struggled to his knees to get up. He cussed like I had never heard him do before and at that point there was another outburst of farting that this time was about 10 seconds longer than the earlier one. I made a joke (I knew it was lame!) about the falls knocking the shit out of him and Jacob turned to me and admitted (finally) that he had to take a shit. I sarcastically asked him about his earlier brag about what he had dropped at the airport the previous day, and he said that while it was a "pretty good" crap (apparently 2 pieces)he had been constipated and hadn't gone for at least four days before making the trip. He said his school's toilets have no stall doors, are usually dripping with urine, and that some of the boys get bullied by some of the older guys while they're seated and taking a crap.
As Jacob continued to pull the toboggan, I started to tease him about his alternatives for his crap. Being at ground-level, I pointed out to him some options: those wooden posts that are put out horizontally in front of parking stalls to keep cars from parking on a golf course, wooden benches nearby on the golf course, and from the top of a newspaper display box that he could get onto from the bottom stairs of the pavilion building's stairs. The building was totally dark and we didn't even try going up the staircase because we accepted the fact that it and the restrooms were closed for the season. However, I remembered last winter when I had to pee and that I couldn't wait until I got home. Then it came back to me: there were unisex toilets that were entered from the back of the building and you didn't have to go through the building to get to them. I told Jacob they were probably put in for shituations (yes it's a bad pun, I guess, but Jacob tried to fake no amusement)although he smiled a little. I decided that we should park the toboggan and sleds and walk (the half block around to the back of the building seemed a lot worse because we were walking in nearly foot-high snow)to the bathroom.
Jacob was getting winded as we rounded the final corner and said something about how he should just squat and crap in the snow. I told him that was a brilliant idea since it was still dark and there was no one else around. "I'd pay to see that," I told him, but I also warned him that if he didn't shit like faster than he ever has, he'd probably freeze his dick off. "**** you, Em", he said. You can see why I enjoy teasing him. We went under a small roof where there was a lot less snow. With a small security light nearby I could see four doors. The lettering was faded somewhat but one was easily marked "maintenance" and the others had the toilet symbol on them. Two of the doors had padlocks on them that probably would stay on until spring. The second door, however, did not and this was the toilet that I had remembered using last year. I told Jacob to hurry up and use it because I was already getting cold and we hadn't even started sledding yet. However, he said I could come in and keep him company and warm up.
As soon as Jacob reached in and pulled down the light chain that had just hit him near his eye, the light went on. The room was smaller than my closet at home, something I hadn't remembered last year when I used it but I was alone then. I suggested we both take our bulky coats off to save space and I tossed them out of the door and onto the sidewalk. I told Jacob when he was done that I had to pee. It was chilly in there because there was obviously no heat but it was sure warmer than outside. Jake tore off a piece of toilet paper to cover his fingers as he quickly dropped the toilet seat. Then he went back to the roll and tore off three almost equal in size pieces of toilet paper that he lined the two sides of the seat with and he placed the third very carefully over the front. He dropped his jeans and boxers (they were green) in one motion and seated himself carefully on the tissues. Just as his butt touched the seat, the left side tissue blew off and fell to the floor. Just as he looked to check them, he noticed what happened and he lifted his front thigh by about a half inch while I slid it in under him. His jeans and boxers were at knee level and he pulled them higher. His penis, which was over the paper on the front of the stool, he tucked in between his legs and he said sometimes when he pushes hard, he accidentally skirts some pee.
In less than two minutes there was a big blast of gas and and Jacob moved his legs into a wider arch and I could see from the pushing epxression on his face that he was releasing a big one. "I wish I could shit daily so I won't be so large." he said. The smell immediately started to become evident and with a couple of more farts, a couple of final pieces dropped. Jacob had me move to the side of the room opposite the sink so he could stand up and show off his prized possession: it snaked from into the drain hole and around like three times and still its top was about two inches onto the front of the bowl and outside the water! It was probably about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. I told him I was amazed and he even admitted that this was one of his "better" accomplishments. One of the seat papers was stuck to his left thigh and I pulled it off for him and flicked the other two pieces into the bowl as Jacob started to grab toilet paper to wipe. He only used two sheets to wipe with. I teased him, "Are you sure you're clean?" and he asked me if I wanted to have "the satisfaction" of checking his work. I said no, I believed him.
Jacob still had his pants partially down when he moved from to the stool and stood aside so I could use it next. I dropped my jeans and panties fast and was on the seat and peeing before he was done buttoning his jeans up. He asked why I didn't put tissues over the seat like he said some of the boys do, and I said I thought it was stupid. He said his dad started to do it for him when he was really young and they were traveling and his dad would take him into the restroom. Jacob said he's seen his dad do it also when he has to crap away from home. I told him that me and my mom don't worry about anything like that. At a few places we shop like Wal-Mart they have those seat tissues, but we don't use them. I told Jacob the seat was a little cold despite his attempt at warming it up, but he said body heat probably doesn't go through the toilet tissues. I said that made sense. I peed steadily for like a minute, and then after a few trickles, reached over for a small piece of toilet paper to wipe with while I was still seated. Jacob then started to wash his hands after I pulled up my clothing and stood up. He moved to the side as I washed my hands and we quickly went outside and grabbed our coats and put them on. He reminded me that I hadn't flushed as he was going through the doorway. I reach back and completed the task. I told him I didn't want my pee to be frozen later in the day when the next user came in. He said something about that being "quite interesting" and I didn't question him.
Jacob took the seat on the toboggan and and I pulled us over to the hill. We had fun on the hill for about two and a half hours until about 7:30 a.m. when we got pretty cold and decided to go home and make some hot cocoa. My parents were still asleep when we got back home and sat down in the kitchen to discuss our "adventure."
Reply to: CD Math Check re. 2009 Toilet TimeIt's accurate. I'm a very faster worker.
This surprised me actually since I had expected that it would be ~3 to 5 minutes. I counted only 55 BM's in 2009 where I've sat down for 4 minutes or longer.
My mean time on the toilet is indeed ~2 1/2 minutes. (My shortest time in 2009 was 38s actually.) I count from the moment I sit down until when I feel that there isn't anything left to come out (either pee or poop) and get up. I *did not* count the time I spent wiping or washing up... Just the time I took getting the job done sitting on the toilet itself.
Other 2009 Potty Data:
-190 days with one BM
-80 days with two BM's
-14 days with three BM's
-2 days with four BM's
-And that one day when I had 6 trips to the toilet
I used to be an afternoon pooper -between 2 and 4 pm- but now my habits have changed to mid mornings - between 10 and 11 am.
How long do you spend on average and how *sure* are you?
how bout sharing some stories of the worst case of the runs you ever had.
Mine was back 2 years ago. In early December much like Pearl Harbor a day that will live infamy at least for me. I woke up that morning which happened to be day off. Thank god. Everything seemed normal. I made a cup of coffee and a piece of toast and sat on the couch and flipped on the tube. How ironic the movie dumb and dumber was on and it just happened to be right at the point of Jeff Daniels diarrhea scene. Little did i know i was going to be doing a reanactment of the scene several times over. After finishing breakfast still in my warm wool pjs i slipped on my boots and went outside to the retrieve the newspaper. About halfway back in the door it hit me like a ton a bricks. A cramp shot through my stomach feeling like some was tightening a vice on mid section while at the same time repeatdly stabbing me. In a instant i knew i was going to be visiting the bathroom. With little time to waste i made it in the door and sprinted to the latrine. Pulling down my wool pajamas and panties in one swoop i sat my butt on the toilet just in the knick of time. If anyone around had heard me they would have swore i left the water running in the shower. A steady stream of watery poo just flowed out of we for what seemed like forever. Thank god i made it the toilet in time. It would have been disastrous to think of the results otherwise . After about a ten minute bout of watery poo my cramps were relieved and i returned to the living room sitting on the couch and reading the paper and watching tv. By noon time i had repeated that earlier cramping episode followed by a bout of watery diarrhea at least 15 times. By mid afternoon i dont think i had anything left inside me. The phone rang it was my friend Jenna. Seems Jenna had spent the morning doing the same thing as me. Turns out in the end it was food poisoning we had gone out to eat at a diner late the night before and both ordered some chicken wings. I dont think i have ever had diarrhea that bad in my life.
Peeing in the trees next to the tennis courtsWhen in college a friend and I would go to play tennis in the afternoon. Beside the courts were clusters of evergreen trees. There was no washroom around so when we had to pee, we just squatted in the middle of the cluster of evergreens. These nice trees gave us young women modesty. The other one would ensure that nobody was around and acted as a look out scout. I used to do hiking in my youth and easily squatted and pulled down my pants and peed on the ground. Elastic waisted pants/shorts are the easiest and fastest for a stealth pee. There were no pee prudes on our hikes - people who hold it in all day and dehydrate themselves.
Benjamin--my best advice is to go before school or during lunch. You have to do what is required of the restroom pass rule. I don't like keeping my students from the restroom unless I know that they are playing around.
As for peeing sitting down--I do when I am taking a crap and there are occasional times that I do pee sitting down when I am at home.
Something that I never thought of--my cousin, who is a couple of years younger than me, told me that he doesn't wear boxers because he doesn't want poop falling out of his pants if he has an accident. He wears boxer briefs to for comfort and to hold anything in. I just don't wear boxerssbecause I hate the way that they feel and for some reason, when I do wear boxers, I have to pee more and I am not sure why. I try to avoid wearing them durinrg the day at all costs.
One day a few months ago, I was out with my mom, going to different stores all day. Eventually, we got to one store and I went to the bathroom to pee. After I left out of the restoom, I realised I had to poop to, so I went to the other restroom in the back of the store. I dropped my athletic pants and briefs and went... amazingly I was out of the bathroom in about 4 minutes.
Childhood story time...
I will first go with one from when I was in 7th grade. I had made a new friend that lived a couple of neighborhoods away. We used to hang out a lot. We were in the woods one day when we had to pee. All he had to do was pull his penis out and pee whereas since I was uncircumcised then, I had to pull the foreskin back. He questioned why I did that. I don't remember what my answer was but obviously he was good with the one I gave him. One day, I had to poop while we were in the woods (something I did a lot when I would be in the woods). I pulled my shorts and boxer briefs down and began to go. I peed a couple of times in the about 3 or so minutes that I was pooping. I didn't slide the skin back and he questioned that one too. I never pulled it back when I would pee while pooping. The skin would eventually slide back and I didn't want to sit there holding myself or have pee spray everywhere from the skin going back.
Right before I was circumcised, I was eating at a fast food restaurant with my grandmother. After we ordered, I went to the bathroom, really needing to pee. I barely got my penis out before I peed...but there was a downfall. I didn't retract the skin and it was sort of twisted, so I soaked my pants. Thankfully, they were very dark grey and you couldn't tell.
Ian's story about playing sports on the beach reminded me of this--I had said previously about one of my cousins peeing in his swimsuit, which got me to doing it. My neighbor and I started doing this everytime we had on our swimsuits. We would drink lots of water too, to ensure we would pee more. I did poop my swim shorts once and I hosed them out right after and my friend helped me spray the mess off. He did it too later that day but his clean up was easy... he had diarreha at the moment.
I don't remember the details but I do remember in 3rd grade, I almost pooped myself. I do know I just barely got into the stall and pulled my shorts and briefs down just in time.
That's all for right now. I will post more later.
Constipated LindaThe first thing is that I would recommend you see a doctor and have a colonoscopy just to make sure there is nothing too serious....also the doctor might find out the cause through a colonoscopy.
Next thing is as you know I suffer from constipation due to a medical condition....I have seen lots of doctors and even a GI specialist and they all say the same thing....cannot afford to be constipated.
Apart from the usual exercise diet etc I have an approach to vary how I handle shitting problems. I believe in variation because that is to stop my body from getting use to a particular medication etc....I switch my laxatives from time to time, I do an enema sometime, and you may actually enjoy an enema. Try using magnesium powder and have it with lemon juice or a vitamin C pill. If you have too much magnesium then you get the runs. Another method is the salt water flush....you could look it up on the internet but what I do is on rising I have a glass of water with a tea spoon of sea salt in it followed by a glass of normal water and then repeat the proccess... I do all this on an empty stomach..I drionk lots of water and do exercises particularly abdominal exercises..nothing too strenuous though. After a couple of hours I am on the toilet.
One thing I notice is that you are reluctant to poo away from home, whereas I drop my load as often as the urge hits...if I held off I would be even more constipated.
The doctors made it very clear to me that prolonged constipation was far worse than laxatives.
Another thing try prune juice, I drink two small bottles on an empty stomach and that works provided I am not too bunged up.
Epsom salts are good as they work fast.
Next point I have learned is that the longer constipation goes on for the harder it is to get a resolution.
If you are interested in an enema clinic to have an enema and to pick up how to do it yourself then post back and I will give the details
THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER
Congrads to DavidHey David, I just wanted to wish you congradulations on you and your girlfriend. That's awesome that you two are reaching that level of openness in your relationship. I have a feeling that not only will this fulfill some "fantasys", but it will probably hiten other aspects of your relationship as well.
Has anything else happened? Have you two talked about it at all? Only share as much as you feel comfortable with, as this is obviously a very personal aspect of a relationship.
Thanks a lot for letting us know about this, and I wish everyone a great start to the 2010.
To The Guy Who Sits to Pee
I am another male who sits to pee for a number of good reasons:
1. It is less messy if the aim is not good
2. I am a slow pee-er with a weak stream
3. I have a balance problem when standing (medical condition)
4. I can get fully empty when sitting
Of course, if using a public restroom, I will stand, but at home I sit 100% of the time to pee. There is nothing worse than cleaning a toilet where those using it can't aim properly when standing.
My wife likes the fact that I don't mess up the bathroom!
I really enjoy taking photos of my turds. I keep a camera next to the toilet so I can preserve these memories. I don't photograph every dump, just the special ones. I have some great photo albums of every kind of turd imaginable. Anyone else do this ??
I am a 46-year old man. Occasionally, when I am done peeing, I get a slight feeling of urgency and then some other kind of liquid squirts out of my penis. It's NOT semen, though it looks a little bit like it, and it's not urine. Does anyone know what this liquid is? I'm thinking it's some kind of prostate fluid or something like that.
A very crappy christmasAt first it was a normal christmas day, we had our presents to begin with. I got money to save up for my first car and my younger brother just got loads of silly stuff, like prank sets ect. Then in the afternoon we had the whole family over for lunch, I had quite a lot to eat to be honest. I had loads of stuffing and turkey. I also had a lot of vegetables. So anyway it was now getting on to about 6 in the evening when we were having dinner, this was when i starting feeling really unconfortable!
I knew that i was not allowed to get down though, i had to be polite. After 10 minutes of eating i felt like i was about to explode in my panties. I was waddleling on my seat worryingly. Then i squealed under my breath. My aunt sat next to me heard and said "whats wrong." And i knew i could trust my aunt so i quietly said to her "I'm really sorry it's just... i really need a poo." She was understanding so she said to my mum "right, shall we clear up the table then" (so that i could get down, use the bathroom and release!)
My mum then said for the children (including me) to clear up. I just couldnt take it anymore! I ran to the bathroom with hands on my arsehole. When i got there though i noticed that it was locked. After waiting painfully for a minute, i farted badley as some of it came out. I then moaned and proceeded to my room, when i got there i felt a strong gurgle at the back of my panties as poo was bubbling out of me!
I had soiled myself! It was absolutely disgusting, it was everywhere in my room, so that night i was to afraid to go down that i stayed in my room feeling so ashamed of myself for 4 hours. Then i finally went downstairs to scrape all of it off my clothes and also finished off in the bathroom of what i needed to do :(
Sitting to PeeHello and New Year's greetings to everyone.
I'm a semi-regular poster here, and as I always begin, I'm disabled by cerebral palsy. However, as I've always said, my disability really has little impact on my toileting. I'm fully independent and I have no continence issues (so far). But. I've had a life long fascination with going to the bathroom and this is one of my favorite subjects.
I probably began sitting to pee before I was 10 and it's a practice that continues to this day (I'm almost 60). Let me begin by saying that I do not do it by necessity as I'm able to stand. However, at home it's just easier. At work or in public places, I usually stand at the urinal, but occasionally I'll sit in public as well.
As I've posted here before, I have paruresis, or bashful bladder. It mostly manifests itself when I'm in a public, usually crowded, restroom. I've going through periods where I thought I was over it but it keeps coming back. I've written more about this in my earlier posts.
One of the strategies I've used to deal with this in public is to sit while peeing in a (stall). Once I'm in the stall and I'm comfortably seated on the toilet I usually have no problems. So, for me at least, this is an advantage.
A funny story about sitting to pee. For many, many years my mother and I were very open with each other and shared the bathroom on many occassions. She might be in the tub or getting dressed and I needed to go or vice versa. Until we moved to our current home where we have two bathrooms, it was rather common for both of us to be in the bathroom at the same time.
I seem to recall a time when I went in to pee (probably as a teenager), sat on the toilet, and was on and off in probably less than a minute. My mother witnessed this (and it was somewhat obvious that I didn't have a BM) and she said, "Aren't you the lazy one?" At first I couldn't tell if she disapproved of this, but I think that we both quickly laughed and she never mentioned it again.
With Christmas was over, I decided to go to the mall to shop around for some clothes for the new year. There were lots of sales everywhere and I was expecting it to be busy so I left home early to get to the mall when it first opened. I tried to take a dump the night before but I was constipated so nothing came out. It had been over two days since I had last gone. I quickly made my way around the stores to find what I needed.
After 20 minutes, I felt a strong urge to poop. I made my way to the department store bathroom rather than the mall bathroom since I knew it would be less busy. I followed the signs for what felt like forever before I found the mens washroom down a hallway at the other other end of the floor.
I entered in to find that nobody was around. I made my way to the stall at the very end and went in. I tried to lock the door but it was broken so I quickly exited and went to find another stall. I entered into the next stall and made sure that the door locked. It was an older bathroom and the stalls were covered with marks and graffiti. The toilet looked pretty old as well and was mounted on the wall with the flush handle positioned from above on the wall. The stall partitions on the side went almost down to the floor.
I struggled to undo my belt and unzip my jeans before sitting down. I let out a fart before pushing out what felt like a long and soft turd. I started to pee as I unrolled the toilet paper. I heard someone come in and enter into a stall. I started to wipe and finish up when I heard several farts and a turd dropping from the stall down from me. I got up and saw that I dropped one turd about 10" long. I flushed and quickly went to wash before continuing with my shopping.
Some High School Boy
Benjamin- It's possible I know but I doubt it. Is there a way for you to go during lunch and if there is you should just go then. And also to cut down on eating time just eat smaller lunchs and use the rest of the time to go and crap. Well I hope my advice helps it sucks that you can't crap in school. I hope everything works out for you.
For The Guy Who Pees Sitting Down:
I often pee while seated, and the main reason is to avoid making a mess by peeing on the floor accidentally. When you pee sitting down, you gurantee that the pee all goes into the bowl where it belongs. Peeing while sitting down also gives you the opportunity to wipe your ass just in case there is any left over poo from earlier..
There is one disadvantage to peeing while siting down which is that it takes a bit longer than the conventional stand-up method. After all, you do have to take the time to unbuckle your belt, open your pants and pull them down, etc. It's really much faster to just unzip and pee standing up. Also, if the acoustics are such that people outside the bathroom can hear what you are doing, the sound of you unbuckling the belt and pulling pants down may lead people to think you are taking a crap. This can be pretty embarassing if you are at someone else's house. Also, it's hard to disguise the sound of the pee hitting the water. When you stand up, you can sometimes aim your stream so that it doesn't hit the water directly, but hits the side of the bowl just above the water line. The problem is that if you don't aim properly, you may pee all over the surface of the bowl or on the floor.
There is actually a third method for peeing that I use from time to time which is sort of a compromise between sitting and standing. What I often do when I am at someone else's house and don't want to make any noise (and don't want to pee on the floor) is I kneel down on one knee and pee. By kneeling down I can get my penis much closer to the bowl so I can aim much more easily than I can standing up. This enables me to keep the pee in the bowl and not on the floor, but by getting to close to the bowl, I can also divert my stream so that it doesn't hit the water directly (which makes moise) but instead hits just above the water line so that it doesn't make any noise. I think peeing while kneeling down is really the best method when you want to be absolutely quiet and not make a mess.
Anyone else pee while kneeling?
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Linda from Australia here again. I'm slowly getting back to normal with my poos but its taking a long time. Last night before bed, I did a wee and I wasn't going to try for a poo but I did. When I pushed, I felt a turd coming down so I had to get it out. I managed to squeeze out 3 turds but it took lots of effort. I really had to push and strain to get them out. The turds were skinny and rock hard. My anus was burning afterwards. I didn't feel finished either and I could feel more poos up there. I did lots of farts throughout the night and my stomach was crampy due to the left over poos I couldn't get out.
This morning I had an easier time pooping and the turds slid out quickly, although the last few were rock hard pebbles that really hurt. The load was only medium sized. I went back to do more poos about an hour ago and I had to work hard to get that load out too. It consisted of about 5 rock hard logs. I still didn't feel finished and I can feel more poo up there as I write this. Each time I wipe my butt, I have to wipe about 10 times! The poo on my butt has been runny and smelly aswell.
As you can tell, I'm still a bit constipated. I've been having a hard time for over a week now. As you would all know, its not unusual for me to have 2 weeks of trouble.
To Thunder from Down Under: You must have been extremely constipated and so desparate for a poo!! It sounds like a great place though and they looked after you well. Its good that you were finally able to do a poo!! I was also constipated on Christmas day and it wasn't fun at all. As you can see, I'm still having a hard time pooping, although not quite as bad as you.
To Keith D: Were you constipated at Christmas again?? I remember last Christmas you were extremely constipated and you had to take a shit in the woods.
For BenjaminBenjamin - Does it take you longer than 5 minute to poop because you are straining and pushing and it takes a while for you to dump? If that's the case, then you may want to take in more fiber and water. This will aid in moving things along. Try some high fiber cereal in the morning. You may want to try it on the weekend first, just so you aren't caught off guard when the fiber kicks in. If it takes time to get clean, use wet paper towels to make the clean up easier.
1) How often do you poop? - Normally once a day, sometimes twice.
2) How long does it take you to poop? - It can take from 3-5 minutes, depending on how loose my stool is and how long it takes to wipe. Sometimes cleanup takes the most time.
3) How do you wipe? - I wipe with paper from between my legs (from the front). I just hold my "stuff" out of the way with my left hand, spread my knees, and wipe with my right. Then I stand up and lean forward slightly, wiping with my right while pulling open my cheeks with my left. I finish up with a couple of flushable wet wipes, or a wet paper towel if I'm in a public restroom.
Reply to Middle AgeLike Middle Age, I often wear a product that allows me to pee without a toilet. I work on a huge freight dock and often cannot get to the bathroom to pee. Plus I have a very small baldder. It is good to hear from others that use these products. I have tried all of them and the pads that use the pads that have straps. They allow me to walk easier and hold plenty of pee when I drink too much coffee.
Here's something I've always wondered about, but I've never seen a definitive answer...
Do members of royalty, such as the Queen of England, Prince Charles, etc. wipe their own asses, or do they have someone do that for them? We all know they have personal attendants who take care of various needs - I'm just wondering how personal is the assistance they get?
Response to "Guys Who Sit While They Pee"Yeah, I sit to pee at home or in any normal toilet. When I am out and about and use public toilets, I usually end up just using a urinal. Or sometimes if there is no urinal and the toilet seat is disgusting, (most public bathrooms)I stand then. For me, I think it stems from the fact that I was never circumcised, and as a kid, I must have had issues with making a bit of a mess. I suppose then from an early age, I just found it easier to sit and be done with it as opposed to standing and sometimes having to clean up a mess. Now at the age of 35, it is still an old habbit. Obviously it is such a stigma and by a lot of blokes considered "un-manly" Of course, to save the embarrasment, it's something I keep awfully quiet about. As for feeling "un-manly" I don't care! I consider myself a practical person, and I am not into judging the masculinity of a man by weather he pees standing up or sitting down. Unfortnatley, it seems to be fashionable to beat up on a man that sits down to pee. Personally, I'm over it. For me, it's what ever works best for an individual. To the "guy who sits down to pee" I would love to hear your reasons and any other guys for that matter. I often wonder how many guys out there are similar to me and for similar reasons.
Pee shooterIt is so cold out today and I was coughing on the way to the bank. Pee squirted out of me each time I coughed. I was wearing a Depends so it did not matter. On the way back from the bank I had to pee so I just stood still on the sidwalk and peed into the Depends. When I got home I threw them in the trash. I always pee before leaving home but my bladder is becoming unreliable. I would like to know how many people wear incontinence pads or briefs. One lady at the drug store used to wear incontinence pads when she was pregnant with her daughter 15 years ago. I began leaking at age 36 when I had a bad cough and it was cold out so thus I coughed more.
To Fat WomanHey Fat Woman,
I'm writing to say that I really like your posts and your detailed descriptions on your adventures in the bathroom and elsewhere. Keep up the posts and share me some great stories.
Kisses to you!
Benjamin-I used to get an erection when I would crap, but not very often. It's a bit more embarrassing when it happens while using a doorless stall, but since most guys aren't there to look at you, there's a good chance nobody will notice. Unless you stand to wipe. of course. You could be turned on by crapping, or maybe it's just pressure on your prostate. Although I rarely get an erection while dumping, I often get seminal fluid at the tip of my urethra if I am a bit constipated. It can be just a drop or two, or sometimes it will squirt into the bowl. No erection, just the fluid. Again, I think it's pressure on my prostate.
Fernando-I think you are right about buddy dumping. I have only done it a few times, and I'm pretty open about these things.
I had a nice crap this past weekend. I used the doorless stalls at the park and although I was only in there a few minutes, I had lots of folks walking by my stall. Seemed to be a busy day at the park. I took the first stall, right across from the urinals. One guy was urinating, and I wiped the seat, dropped my drawers and sat down. I forgot I was wearing my bright orange Jockey briefs that day. Those things would be useful for waving down search planes if I ever got ship wrecked on a deserted island! Anyway, I dropped a pretty good sized load. I had to flush before I was finished. I didn't want to clog the poor toilet up!
I finished crapping and stood up to wipe. I had brought along the flushable toilet wipes and used them for the last 4 passes. Nice and clean! Just 2 guys came in during clean-up. I pulled up my Jockeys, pulled up my shorts, and washed up at the sink.
The Guy Who Pees Sitting Down
Guys Who Sit While They PeeWhat do you all think of guys who sit when they pee? I do it for a whole slew of reasons, but I'd like to hear your thoughts.
End Stall Em
The Snow, the Park & Other ThingsMy answers for Just Jerika' survey:
1. How do you select the stall you use? I will use and even wait for one of the end stalls.
2. Does your bathroom have toilet seat papers? Or do you bring them with you? If yes, do you use them? No. No. I would never use them even if they were available. I think they are stupid. (See my story below)
3. Do you sit down on the seat without putting toilet paper on it first? Yes.
4. Do you wipe the seat off before sitting on it. Not usually, unless, there is an extreme amount of pee on it. That's happened a couple of times this year at school. However, as a result of my accident a couple of weeks ago--a crack on the seat tore my skin open--if the lights are too dim, I will put my forefinger down and wipe it over the seat fast before I seat myself.
5. Do your friends sit right down on the seat? Of course.
6. Do you flush when you are done? Mostly. However, there have been a few times (I've written about these) when I've been upset and I haven't flushed. Also, I'm not looking for any more class tardies or Saturday detentions, so as a freshman I'm trying to move even faster.
7. Do your friends flush when they are done? Some do, some don't. A couple of weeks ago I walked into an end stall to pee (and this was one of the nicest bathrooms in the new addition of our school) and some girl had taken a complete dump on the floor in front of the stool. Luckily, the stall on the other end of the bathroom was open or I probably would have peed my pants.
8. Do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom? When there's time and room available at the sinks I always do. But sometimes, I wipe and have like 20 seconds to get down the hall to my classroom and into my seat.
9. If you sit down and can't go, do you flush the toilet to fake it? Yes. Who wants to get hassled for being in high school and having bashful bladder or whatever they call it.
10. Do you hold your pee or crap to avoid going at school? Sometimes, but when the bathrooms are locked right after school before we can use them one last time, it's not our fault.
Now to Braidy:
I really enjoyed your story. I feel so sorry for Madison and wonder if she's going to have trouble using the bathrooms when she gets into middle school and later high school. Of course, you know I have had some trouble in making the adjustment and I was raised normal. Sometimes, I think my Mom, who is like three times my age, doesn't understand but I'm so lucky to have her and not a Psycho Mom like Madison. From the first time I can remember, when we were out in public, Mom taught me hand-washing and the importance of effective wiping. And she's been honest when I've asked questions like about why she refuses to use the portable potties.
This is my story from the first day of Christmas Break:
We had like a foot of snow just before Christmas. It's not unual for where we live. We have like five sleds and a toboggan in our garage. My cousin Jacob, who is a year younger than me and still in middle school, flew in the night before to visit us for five days because his parents are on a cruise that his dad won where he works. Anyway, Jacob lives on the west coast and has never seen snow except in the movies. And obviously, he was never been out in it.
Well, he feel asleep in the living room with the TV on and the noise went on all night. I got up at aabout 4 a.m. and had to pee. I walked through the living room and turned the TV and lights off and when I did so Jacob woke up. He had seen snow stories on the news and was asking about it. He said he probably couldn't get back to sleep and was bored. Since were were both up and my parents would be asleep until like 8 a.m., I got to thinking about inviting Jacob to go sledding with me. We have a large city park that is more than a mile large about two blocks from our house so I left a note for my parents, then Jacob and I went out onto the garage where we took out two of the sleds and the toboggan. Jacob had only worn a small jacket for his visit and I didn't think that would be good enough, so I went back into the house and got him an older parka of mine plus some gloves. Luckily I had a newer and even warmer parka and set of mittens to wear.
There was like nobody out there at 4:30 a.m. It was so quite that it seemed our toboggan which was holding the two sleds was so noisy as it slid down the street which had earlier been plowed but still had a lot of snow packed on it and was icey. I thought I was a fast walker but Jacob (we alternated in pulling the toboggan) is even faster and I suggested that I take a seat and he pull me. He was like OK with it, but after about three minutes, he stumbled and while tryng not to fall forward, he over-corrected and fell backwards right onto his back. I was laughing pretty hard (I had a 8th grade drama teacher last year who taught that "falling is funny" and she showed us like a 30-minute video of people famous and not falling. I stood up and helped Jacob shake the snow and ice off his back and his jeans. Then there was a loud rumbling fart that went on for like four or five seconds and I teased him that if he were to fall again, he might shit has pants. Jacob cursed, laughed and said he had just shitted at the airport before Mom and I had picked him up. I told him I had just peed within the hour and was starting to feel the need to pee again.
Just as we got to the park and were crossing the street I noticed red lights flashing and that they were coming toward us. They were like two blocks away but I quickly thought (actually remembered) that Jacob and I were probably violating our city's curfew, so we ran to the best of our ability into the park and ducked down as the police car whizzed past. We rested for a moment and overlooked the sledding hill that I've been told is one of the best in our state. And I was getting more indication from between my legs that I needed to pee.
I will continue the story with my next post.
Thanks everyone who answered my question. I helped a lot and now I feel MUCH better know there are others like me. Now I just have to figure out a solution to my other problem. I usually have to poop at school. I don't worry about anyone seeing my erections because there thankfully are doors on the stalls and no one ever looks in while others are in a stall. The problem is that our passing periods between classes are 5 minutes and it always takes me longer than that to poop. I don't know why it takes me so long but I can't help it. At our school we are only allowed 3 times out of class the whole semester to go to the bathroom during class time. It is recorded in assignment books we have to carry around. I can understand that some kids were abusing the system and asking just to get out of class, but that doesn't help those of us who realy have to go. Most of the time I have no choice but to just hold it all in but it is very uncomfortable and makes it hard to concentrate. Any ideas?
1) How often do you poop?
2) How long does it take you to poop?
3) How do you wipe?