I'm new here. I've been looking for a good place to post a story of mine since sunday.
I was at my friend Hanna's house. we were having an extended sleep over from saturday until monday because my parents were out of town., (we had monday off of school) I have known Hannah since first grade (I'm a senior in high school) so we are very open to each other. I felt the urge to poo so I told hannah that I was going to go use the bathroom. She said she had to go too. At that, she proposed a hold it contest. whoever went to the bathroom first loses and would have to wear one of her sister's diapers for the rest of the day (her sister is 9 and has bedwetting problems.) I agreed and the contest began. We went down and had breakfast. My urge went away after that. We went the whole day. We went to sleep that night with no incident. The next morning, I really had to go, I had broken my usual bathroom schedule. My only problem was my extreme urge to pee. After breakfast, hannah and I went up to the bathroom. we challanged each other to stair at the toilet. We were sitting in the bathtub. All of a sudden Hannah gasped as her jeans rapidly became dark. She peed her pants completely through. But then I heard a soft crackling noise, hannah stood up as a huge bulge began to develope in her jeans. I laughed because I found this somewhat amusing. I lost control because of that as I felt the warmth spread through my thighs. And then the farmiliar crackling sound as a huge soft poo proceeded to force its way through my panties. We both laghed for a while and then helped each other clean up. I then handed her the diaper as she put it on. We also had the condition that she had to wear pants that would show she was wearing a diaper. She was still aloud to use the bathroom, she just had to keep the diaper on no matter how evident it was to everyone around her.

O.k. I have a story about my aunt.My aunt is very attractive. She is 5-9, 145 pounds, and a fat butt, she is 37 years old, anyway one morning i slept over at her house, and when we were at the table we were eating breakfast when she said she had to use the bathroom. I said ok. So I sat there eating my food, and my aunt rushed back down the stairs, and said she really had to take a shit she hasn't gone in three days, and that my sister is showering. She was walking in circles in desperation, finally she pulled down her pajama pants, but before she could pull down her white cotton panties, I saw this lump form on the back seat of her panties, it started growing, she just stood there crapping her panties, now it turned into an enormous bulge, when she said she was done. I couldn't believe that my aunt just crapped her pants right in front of me. then she took off her panties right in front of me I saw her butt it was completely covered in poop, wow what a morning.

Mega Bladder Chick: Amazing Impressive report. Have you ever measured your output?

Brittany: You and Mega Bladder Chick should get together and talk. Let us know if anything interesting happens!

Laura: I'd love to give you more stories but there are only so many incidents that I have lived through in my little life 
One weekend day I remember driving up to San Francisco alone to sightsee. I lived in San Jose about an hour or two from San Francisco. I went to Twin Peaks and took some pictures. By then I had a strong need to whiz and so got back into my car and began looking for a gas station and, hence, toilet. I found one and it was a good thing because I was as the edge of my need. But disaster struck. The gas station was operated by a paranoid individual who must have been the subject of prior robberies; the toilets were not available. I was beside myself now and could not hold my wee. I squirted quite a bit into my pants and got those blue jeans very wet. After finding a place to empty the rest of my bladder I decided to simply brazen it out by going to a public park and lie down and let the sun dry my jeans. It worked fine.
Some years ago I was driving a woman to work. It was about an hour drive both ways. One day on the way home she needed to be taken to a place where she would pick up her son and take a bus the rest of the way home. This was quite a bit out of the way and so took a lot longer than our normal way home. By the time I dropped her off I realized that my bladder was at its limit and I still had to drive across town to where I lived. Looking back I should have asked her to help me out where she picked up her son; she could have stayed in the car while I went in for a whiz but I didn't think of that. Instead I found myself driving across town in heavy city traffic bursting to piss. It was something I simply could not hold back so there came a time when I decided to let a bit out to reduce the pressure. Warning to guys: make sure you know that you can do this!! I had not and once the stream started it quickly became a gusher which I could not cut off. You girls will claim that I could have reached down and clamped shut my willie; yes, but the pain would have been unbearable.. I emptied enough to cut off the flow and had to use my jacket by tying it around my waist and letting it cover the wet butt I had. I think the elevator operator in my building knew what happened but she didn't admit it. I'd like to think that she smiled when she realized what had happened.
I should explain that these two incidents happened much later in my life than the bus trips I wrote about before. By this time in my life I could no longer simply clamp down and hold forever.
As for your contest, you did amazingly well!! You should be very proud of what you accomplished. How exactly did you begin to leak uncontrollably? Was this the first leak of the trial, or had you dripped or squirted earlier? How were you holding your bladder when your leak occurred? Did you have your fingers on your urethra? Sitting on your heel? Legs tightly crossed? Anything similar? What? Did you continue to leak all the way to the bathroom, and then continue to pee for a full minute?? You were a very full girl!! Let us know of any future holding sessions.

MNGuy and Wisc. Guy: Once I needed a dump and got to a gas station where the men's room was inoperable and I had to use the women's. I sat down and was dropping my load when a couple of women walked in. I had to verbally apologize and explain that I was here because the Men's room was out of order and I would be out very soon. They left although, looking back, I realize that one of them could have been frantic and taken the stall next to mine.
I hope they didn't have to wait past their capacity, but I was, indeed, out in a very short time.

Phoebe: Your story is beautiful beyond measure. How fortunate you are to have had such parents.

Kaitlyn: Next time you see your doctor ask her/him about it. You didn't mention how old you are or what you have experienced in life (such as marriage or children). These all could affect your condition. Older men often experience this very thing. Good luck.

To Thunder Down Under,
I can see your problem. Its a shame your wife isn't supportive, It would make life easier on you. I don't understand why so many people have such a aversion to enemas, even some of the posters on this site. I remember one person posted that he was in hospital and the medicine that they gave him to clear him out for a test made him sick, so they gave him a enema, but apologised profusely as though they were performing some kind of terrible torture on him. He didn't mind the enemas, and couldn't understand why they were apologising.
To Anny,
Have you tried using a Enema? They don't have to be painful, and are safe if properly given. Don't use them too often, but they will give you instant relief though you will need to set aside about 1 -1.5 hours by the time you prepare and then finish pooing. I'm not talking about the chemical enema's like fleet, but water enemas.
Regards Aussie John.

I like this survey... lets keep it going...

Let's begin by asking:
How old are you? 20
Male or female: male
1.When was the last time you wet yourself? with PEE? Between freshman and sophmore year like 15
2.How often do you wet yourself? almost never.
3.How long can you maintain bladder control before wetting yourself? idk I should find out
4.At what age did you first stop wetting the bed? idk... I wet me bed kinda often as a child
5.When was the last time you wet the bed? i don't remember
6.Did you ever pee your pants laughing? no
7.Have you ever peed your pants in the pouring rain just because you could? I would but I've never really been caught in the rain
8.Did you ever pee your pants because you were nervous or frightened? no
9.When was the last time you messed yourself? I sharted a little like 4 months ago, other than that I remember pooping the bed when I was little...
10.How often do you poop in your pants? never
11.How long can you contain your bowel movement before soiling yourself? not real long... theres alot of times that I get to the bathroom and basically loose control as I'm getting on the toilet...
12.Have you ever lost control of your bladder/bowels just before reaching a toilet? yea when I was like 9
13.Have you ever had an accident because you didn't want to use a public restroom? nope
14.Have you ever wet or pooped your pants out of convenience? I tried but it was not great so I stopped with like a baseball sized wet spot on my pants when I was like 13
15.Did you ever pee or poop your pants in school? no
16.At what age did you first stop wearing diapers? idk
17.Did you ever have to wear Pull-Ups? idk
18.Have you ever worn diapers as a teenager? no
19.Have you ever worn diapers as an adult? yea actually... I did a spicy wing challange and got the poops, and was afraid I would poop my bed so I bought some...
20.Do you have a story about a sibling's accident? no
21.Do you have a story about a close friend's accident? yea, many...
22.What was the first accident you remember having? idk

Monday, May 05, 2008

Hi. I need some help with something. I have this problem were if im not paying total attention to my bladder a little pee will leak out into my panties. Every day i come home from school with wet panties. Usually its not enough to wet through my pants. I also wet the bed a little to. I always wake up with damp panties. I pee before bed and still i pee in my sleep. I dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

Hey, this is for the girls/women. If you were in a position where you were desperate to pee and were likely to wet yourself, can you control it by using a finger to put pressure directly on the end of your urethra (your pee hole)?

I remember when I was about 5, I was going through this "drink a lot and hold it as long as I can" phase. Well one time while I was at school, I had spent my lunch time drinking all of my milk, my friends milk and spent about 10 minutes at the water fountain. By the time we got back to the classroom, I already really had to pee. I sat squeezing my penis between my legs. During art, I began to squirm...I finally reached down and held my penis with my hand. I could feel my penis aching to relieve itself...finally recess. I decided while we were in line I couldnt wait any long and I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom b4 we went outside. To my suprise she told me no! I began to worry, I reached down and once again held myself walking in line. I played for 10 minutes, and decided to try to ask again. Again she told me no, and to wait until we went inside. I couldnt hold it anymore. I turned around and could feel my underwear getting alittle wet as a small squirt was released. I squeezed myself pretty hard to keep myself from peeing in my clothes. I frantically looked around the playground for a private place to relieve myself where no one could watch me. I shoved my hand into my shorts and grabbed on to the tip of my penis and squeezed it shut. I ran over as fast as I could next to a slide that was partially covered by bushes. I ran up next to the slide, and looked down, I was started to squirt more, I reached down and pulled out my penis and had already started peeing. I looked behind me and no one had noticed what I was doing. I looked down and watched my relief. I was peeing one hard, long streem right into a bush. I spread my legs and continued to relieve myself when a friend of mine, a girl mind you, came up next to me. I was shocked, but I culdnt stop peeing. I just looked at her as she watched me take a leak on the playground. She just smiled and said "wow, I have to go too" She walked around and pulled up her dress, she took her panties off completely and spread her legs, she squatted down just alittle bit, under the slide I was peeing next to. As I watched, she began to relieve herself. a weak stream at first, but it got harder as she went. From my view I could see everything. I continued to piss as I watched Sarah piss under the slide. I finished, shook and put my penis back into my shorts. Sarah was still peeing. She looked at me with this weird face, it turned kinda red and she grunted. I looked back and she began to poop. She farted and out came 3 rock sized poops while she peed. Then she stopped peeing and started to push. She pushed hard and the longest shit I had ever seen started to come out. It dropped to the ground and she was done.

It's been forever since my last post, and I just remembered a story from seventh grade math class.
It was last period math class. We had about an hour left in class. At the time, I had a major crush on the girl sitting in front of me, Candice (not her real name). chairs that we used in the class have a hole in the back so that the person directly behind you can see your back. She was wearing tight jeans that day. She started squirming in her seat with a half hour left in class. i could tell that she had to go to the bathroom, but the classroom rule was that you can't go to the bathroom during the first and last 20 minutes of class. She had 2 minutes until the restriction started, but she never asked. With ten minutes left in class, she lifted her butt off the seat. I looked down. A bulge started to develope in her jeans. I heard a soft crackling sound as she totally filled her pants. I couldn't believe it, the really hot girl in front of me was pooping her pants. I swear she was pooping for like 5 minutes. When she finished she slowly and carefully sat back down. She took her sweater off and wrapped it around her waist to hide the fact that she had just crapped herself. when the bell rang, I followed her to the bus, (she lives in the same neighborhood as me.) The seating assignments were done by neighborhood, so she sat next to me for the ride. This whole event had excited me, and I was desperately trying to hide this from candice. She looked over at me and realized the bulge in the front of my pants and grinned. When we got off the bus, I asked her if she was okay. She tried to play it off as if I didn't know to try and excape it. She asked "why would you ask that?" I said, well, you pooped your pants, I thought you might be sick. She turned red. Then walked up to me, and said, yes I'm fine, I just had a little accident in my panties. But thank you for caring. She then leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I was in heaven at that point. I ended up asking her out and we dated for a year untill we broke up in high school. There wasn't a fight or anything, we just weren't able to see each other as often as we liked to. So we're still friends. But I will always remember that day in seventh grade when the girl in front of me soiled her jeans, and then became my girlfriend.

How many of you Have met your S.O. because they/you had an accident in their/your pants?

Hey everyone! First EVER post please email me to tell me what you think at ????! First off I'll tell you about me; I am 5'6", I have brown hair and eyes and a tan complexion. I am a boy.

So, the other day I was over my friend Destrand's house. Destrand is 5'7" with dark hair and green eyes. There were three other guys there besides us, named Sam, Marco, and Zenth. We were playing Truth or Dare outside (which was weird because I had never played it before).
About halfway through the game Destrand was dared to drink 3 bottles of water by Zenth. None of us knew that Zenth was secretly planning revenge on him for a crime he had recently commited against him. (he accidently got caught with the note Zenth passed him in class, and the stupid teacher read it out loud. The note said that Zenth was afraid of the dark, and he got seriously messed with about it by the other kids)
So Destrand drank the three bottles of water, but it took him a while. Right before he finished the third one, Zenth went inside. He said he had to go to the bathroom.
Well, when Destrand was finished, he had to pee already. So he went over to the house and went up. Now, Destrand's house only has one bathroom, and there isn't another one for miles in either direction. AND Destrand is the kind of kid who REFUSES to piss outside.
So we followed him to the house and Destrand knocked on the door of the bathroom. We heard Zenth say he would be out in a minute. By now Destrand had to go a little bit worse. After a few minutes, he knocked on the door again. "Jeezuz, I'm COMING!"
We heard splashing inside. I think Destrand heard it the most. He moaned. Now, Destrand is a REALLY shy kid. I know it was killing him to have us there.
It had been about 15 minutes since we had gotten into the house. "Jeezuz Crist, how long does it take you to go to the bathroom? PLEASE hurrrrry uuup!" Destrand begged. He sat down on the floor with both his hands up his crotch and his legs crossed. Meanwhile, we still heard running water in the bathroom.
I knocked on the door again because I felt bad for Destrand. There was no answer. "Zenth?" I asked. There was no answer.
Destrand was doing a pee dance now. It was hilarious. We were all cracking up! Untill Destrand peed his pants. He was SO embarrassed! He ran into his room and locked the door and we could hear him crying.
Just then Zenth came up the stairs. We were all like "Where were you?!?" He laughed and told us that he had locked the door and climbed out the window to get back at him. Then we told him that he had peed his pants and that he was crying. Then he felt bad. We all told Destrand stories about embarrassing moments we'd had to make him feel better. Finally he came out.

Thanks for reading!

Keith D
Hi all. Hadn't pooped for a couple of days then had an urge this morning just after getting out of bed. This is unusual for me as I usually go in the afternoon or evening. But someone was in my bathroom so I had to wait. By the time they'd gone and I got in, I couldn't get much out. Sitting with my briefs right down around my ankles, I pushed and strained silently for about five minutes but only got a few pebbles out. They were quite soft and wet and made my distended hole burn a little. I didn't put in a lot of effort. I couldn't feel the poop mass sitting in my rectum any more (I guess it had moved back "up" while I was waiting for the toilet).

Then about mid afternoon the urge returned. I could feel a heavy, knobbly mass sitting hard on the nerves right above my anus and was clenching to stop it from emerging. I got to the toilet quickly. I dropped my pants and went to sit but when I realized that the urge was strong I thought I might be able to do it standing. I kicked off my shoes, socks and pants, lifted the seat up and backed up to the toilet. I spread my feet a little to straddle the pan. I started to push lightly and after a couple of seconds it began to move and I could feel my hole beginning to dilate, I lent forward a little and bent my knees slightly to aim my butt closer to the bowl. Another slight push and I could feel my hole stretching heaps and the poop started sliding out. It had a really soft smooth and silky texture. It was obviously big but wasn't hurting. My butthole seems to be softer and more flexible when I poop standing up. I stopped pushing and just let the log move by itself. It passed through in about 5 secs, landing with a huge splash, and a drop of water came up to kiss my distended butthole perfectly. The cold sensation was very soothing. I looked at my single log in the pan. It was quite large for me, at least 11 inches long and 2 inches wide, mid brown and made up of lots of knobbly bits. It was a long even hot dog shape. The end of it was disappearing around the S bend. I wiped once but the paper was clean. Almost the perfect poop!

To Bubba: Huge load! Do you deliberately hold back to make them bigger?

To Bethany: Hope you're feeling much better. Pooping is just not as fun when you've got the runs!

To Lisa: Wow, having to go to the toilet and mind the kids - now that's multi-tasking! Do you find it hard to concentrate while they're there? Obviously you're not embarrassed to do it. Closest thing I've had to doing that is having to stop to take a dump in the bushes while out walking the neighbour's dog and having to hold his leash while I squatted. All the while with him yanking on my arm making me lose my balance and almost fall into what I was dropping!

The R Man
To Multi-drop Pete:

I aggree with you 100% that it is extereamly crule to make a child delay using the toilet.

(Females only) Do any of you have any panty pooping stories (intentional or accidental) Thanks :)

Hi me again and u remember my story about my GF using the toilet i have a simalar story to that we had decided to play a wierd farting game and i started the game went on and on until my gf let a huge one off and after she put her hands to her bum and i asked, "are you ok?" and she said "yeah im fine." so we continued the game for about another minite and then she did an even bigger fart and put her hands to her bum again and i said "are you sure you are ok?" and she said "yes" with a slight strain in her voice and i decided we should take a break
5 minites into the break she let off a huge fart and said "I have to go poo really despiratly!" i just said "Then go" she said "I can t move if i do it will go in my knickers" That changed alot i said "ill go and get some toilet paper and a bucket and you can poo in that" she agreed and i ran and got the objects needed and i could see as i got back that she really needed to go she was holding her bum so fiercly she had her bum cheeks pressed together really hard and she asked my to pull down her trousers and knickers i did so and i notices 1 3 inch poo in the knickers so then without warning she threw herself from the floor to on top of the bucket and farted loudly and let out 5 poos about 7 inches long each and with the last poo in the bucket she sighed a long sigh of relief i passed her the toilet paper and she wiped herself and she let me look in the bucket it was almost full of poo and she farted again just to be naughty

i have a few more posts to share soon later

Pee Shy
To the Unknown Father in Lowes: Why didn't take your son to the men's room? Don't you know that the child's bladder is very small and he is not able to hold it as long as you do? This kind of attitude can lead to your son not being able to use any public men's room and becoming pee shy when he is older. Do you use public bathrooms? Are you pee shy?
Teachers and others who are responsible for children also need to know this. Making someone hold his pee or poop is cruel punishment. It causes pain and may cause physical and psychological problems. Shame mine you who do this.

To Amanda: A lot a kids and parents don't pee when they get up after being asleep for 7, 8, or 9 hours. You need to remember to. Peeing can be a pleasure but holding too long can be a pain. One of major problems of public schools is what goes on in the bathrooms. They can be filty. They are often used for doing drugs or smoking. Bullies pick on others to stop them from peeing or pooping. Times between classes are too short. Bathrooms are small and overcrowded. So kids hold and hold. And from all that goes on in the bathrooms a lot of us became pee shy and couldn't go at all. That happened to me in Middle School and now for the last six years. Other kids I knew had the same problem. That is really a bad pain in the full bladder.

Remember peeing is number 1. More pee stories, please.

from the old posts, i found a survey.. now i'm doing it

Let's begin by asking:
How old are you? 15
Male or female: female
1.When was the last time you wet yourself? with PEE? grade six.
2.How often do you wet yourself? not often.
3.How long can you maintain bladder control before wetting yourself? i'm always near enough to a toilet (or a secluded area) so i dont know.
4.At what age did you first stop wetting the bed? i don't remember. i'd ask my mom but that would be a little embarassing.
5.When was the last time you wet the bed? i don't remember.
6.Did you ever pee your pants laughing? yes, that was the grade six incident.
7.Have you ever peed your pants in the pouring rain just because you could? nope.
8.Did you ever pee your pants because you were nervous or frightened? probably as a baby, but not to my knowledge.
9.When was the last time you messed yourself? a few days ago. in bed. i was really sick.
10.How often do you poop in your pants? not often.
11.How long can you contain your bowel movement before soiling yourself? if i'm not sick, a long time. my poo is usually really solid so if i just hold myself, i can hold it in.
12.Have you ever lost control of your bladder/bowels just before reaching the toilet? yeah. kindegarten. many times.
13.Have you ever had an accident because you didn't want to use a public restroom? nope.
14.Have you ever wet or pooped your pants out of convenience? probably as a baby.
15.Did you ever pee or poop your pants in school? yeah.
16.At what age did you first stop wearing diapers? young.
17.Did you ever have to wear Pull-Ups? i think so.
18.Have you ever worn diapers as a teenager? no...
19.Have you ever worn diapers as an adult? no. i havent even been an adult.
20.Do you have a story about a sibling's accident? YES! my brother me and my mom were at the mall. me and her went into the bathroom, and we came out and my brother had peed himself. HILARIOUS!
21.Do you have a story about a close friend's accident? yES!
22.What was the first accident you remember having? kindegarten.

well, here is one kindegarten story.
i dont remember it too well. but i do remember standing in front of another kid in the middle of the room, then starting to poo a really really really big one. like so big it not only bulged, it stretched - AND THEY WERE NOT TIGHT PANTS. i mean, like, a poo that was about nine inches long and three inches thick, right in the underpants of a five year old. it really stuck out. for some reason i blamed the kid in front of me for my accident, then waddled over to my teacher and said i 'needed the potty'. she escorted me into the bathroom, we went into the stall together, and i picked up the marvel of a poo with some toilet paper. she helped me wipe myself, then she asked me a few times 'why did you poop your pants?' and each time i just shrugged, smiling dumbly like a little clueless kid does. she left me on the toilet, told me to wait there until she came back and came back with a clean change of underpants. then she called my mom who picked me up.

hey there Rick: Cool story about you and your dad crapping in the doorless stalls at your new job. Me and my dad were getting some lumber at the Home Depot, when we both decided it was time to hit the boys room. It was located way in the rear of the store. We were both surprised that all 6 stall doors were removed as well as all hardware hinges, coat hooks, eveything was removed at some point. There were a few employees on the thrones, as they had their orange aprons hanging over the partitions. We also got adjacent seats and both started pissing , farting, and dropping mud pretty much in synch. We talked about hitting Lowes on the way home to look at some flooring. I finished up first and stood in front of the stalls for dad to finish wiping up. He took his sweet time wiping up, but eventually we got out of that stinky bathroom. I would hate to work there and have to use that stinky bathroom every day.

In answer to Aussie John regarding an enema bag as opposed to colonics; your comment is quite logical. Here is my viewpoint; I am on medication and will be for life and it gives constipation. As a result I take laxatives. Colonics give me a break from laxatives. A colonic is like multiple enemas...I feel much better after them but a few days later I am back to square one. I do colonics just a few times a year (or a little more). As to the enema bag my problem is that I live in a very busy household and would rarely get sufficient peace to do it. Also my family would think such a practice to be weird or distasteful...they would say, (at best) just take a laxative!
One thing i am trying to get to the "bottom of" is when to take laxatives...what is best to take for me etc...presently I am left to figure it out for myself. I find chemists and doctors do not have much to say on the subject but as I will be on laxatives for a long time, if for good, I think I need to get the best administration of them possible.

All these posts about parents forcing their kids to hold it really make me angry. Maybe it's because I'm younger (15) and attitudes have changed, but my parents never forced me to hold it and I never knew anyone whose parents did. Quite the opposite actually, among most parents and kids I know it is generally seen as being better to have an accident in your pants than hold it. When I was growing up it was not uncommon to see kids as old as 11 or 12 (especially girls) with wet pants.

So here is my advice to kids with strict parents or teachers. If you need to go to the bathroom, and your parents or your teacher or anyone else tells you to hold it, go to the bathroom anyway. Walk out of class without permission if you have to. If you can't do that, then go in your pants. I promise you that the punishment and/or the embarrassment suffered will be less harmful than holding it. Don't worry about being made fun of by other kids because guess what? Every kid you know has peed their pants at least once since they were fully potty trained, whether they admit it or not. And of course if you go to the bathroom without permission or in your pants because you weren't allowed to go, then post your story here. :-)

AJ :-) Loves Russell ;-)
I was just sitting here writing a nighty-night e-mail to Russell when I had to excuse myself and get to the bathroom before it escaped out the backdoor and into my panties.

It was a relief to know that I hadn't even touched cotton in the least, because it felt as if I were going to.

When I sat down, it traveled out of me quickly. I didn't look to see what I'd produced, but it felt like a lot.

Not diarrhea or even loose bowels. Just in a hurry to leave my body for some reason.

I sounded like a motorboat on the way there, but no fanfare during the actual deposit.

You can't even begin to imagine how much better it made me feel. When I resumed my e-mail to Russell, I told him that I'd suddenly gone into labor and had to go to the delivery room.

I was limber, so clean-up was easy.

One of my least favorite experiences when it comes to taking a crap is when I'm retaining water to the point that my body's not limber--meaning that my hand can't reach the entire butthole in order to get the paper there. So, I just clean up as best as I can, but I'm definitely not satisfied with the job.

Fortunately, this doesn't happen that often--but it's one of the thing that I hate about being overweight. I take after the women on my dad's side of the family, and most of us are short-limbed and large-busted.

Anny--my mom's first cousin, Myrl, had that Third Rock From The Sun thingie down pat! LOL

My maternal grandparents were 23 years apart, so Myrl was closer to my grandma's age than my mom's--so she was the one who heard this story and relayed it on to my mom sometime later. Either that or else Myrl told it on herself. I think she told it to Grandma who didn't quite know what to make of it.

Grandma was no prude who thought she was above people. She was fairminded and not judgmental, but this story from Myrl was just a little bit too much for her to where she couldn't believe that a young lady would do such a thing.

The story is that, when Myrl was 13 years old, she had a big crush on her school teacher. Back then (and Myrl would be well over 100 by now), you could start teaching when you were 18 years old, and this teacher was 18 years old.

So Myrl got sick and had to stay home from school, and her teacher came over to help her with her homework. Sometime during the course of the visit, Myrl had gas and, instead of excusing herself to go into another room, she just let it rip right in front of her teacher.

She made the remark that doing this made her feel closer to him. Grandma didn't think that you should be doing that with a guy unless you were married to him, so she was pretty shocked.

Anyway, I'm off to bed for now to have sweet dreams about Russell.

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