I was on the computer last night and I had to go for a poo. I read this stuff all the time and I have to admit I love it. Especially the ones about going in public or the unusual places like a garbage can or something. Which brings me to my story, while reading last night I got the sudden urge to have a poo outside, so I held it in as long as I could so I could just run outside and let go. Well when i got outside my neighbor was outside having a ciggarette and I said my toilet is broken (so I wouldn't look weird)....so I had to poop out here. I asked if he minded, not that I really cared cuz i had to shit really! bad. He said go right ahead...so I went out by my bush, yanked down my pants and thong, and let loose with a really loud wet fart. I said excuse me, he said it was ok, it was actually kind of a turn on to poop in front of him. Anyways, i started having expolsiv diareha, I don't know why, but i started farting and exploding waves of poop for like 15 min. He was just standing there talking to me while i had my poo..between grunts and......oooh...I just farted....I feel a poop coming on. Anyways it was a great experience....please ladies feel free to share your pooping experiences...I gotta go poop...see yals later...
Brian. I'm glad you like my contributions. In response to your questions regarding Aunt Anne I would say that I've never really heard her passing a jobbie as such although I've certainly heard the preamble to her going for a good (overdue) poo. There have been a few occasions when I've known her to let one fly quite noisily. Occasionally I've heard her pee quite heavily too.
In answer to your other question, yes I have seen one of her motions. There was one occasion some years back when she was visiting and, naturally enough, asked to use the loo an hour or so after a substantial midday meal. She spent absolutely ages in there and I can only assume that she was very constipated and had experienced difficulty in having a movement. Eventually she was done and I decided that I needed to go for a wee. Lifting up the seat I saw a very dark, almost black, medium sized unflushed motion with a bit of TP clinging to it. It looked to me as though it had been hard to pass.
I enjoyed your account of Maureen's fantastic L shaped motion and your subsequent buddy dump. Great stuff. Keep on buddy dumping.
Short skirt are great
to wear if it's hot
and if you need to go potty,
just lift it and squat!
If toilet paper you really need
after you have sat and peed
be prepared to sit and wait for some
or dapened your undies might become.
It was always a pleasure when my aunt Nancy came and visited us. I haven't seen her in years, but then, she was a dead ringer for Peggy Bundy. She had the "big" reddish brown hair and always wore tight knit pants and heels. I used to go shopping with her and would usually have to go into the stall with her when she had to use the toilet after her coffee had kicked in. She would sit down on the toilet leaning forward and joke with me about "stinking" me out of the ladies room. She looked very sexy sitting there with her knit pants barely pulled down and the tips of her heels turned slightly inward. She would joke with me as she pooped telling me that her "snake" or "frog" was going to jump into the water and depending on what size her turd you would always hear a "FLOOOOMMP" or a loud "PLOOP" and would always slightly lean her butt to the right as she pooped. It alwayd took her about fifteen minutes to fully get done and aftewards I would tell her I had to pee to see her turds before she flushed. Her turds were always fat and long with a light to medium brown color. I think she knew I liked being in the bathroom with her because at home, if we were alone, she would leave the door open and stink the bathroom and hallway up. I could always tell when she was in the batroom because as soon as I entered the hallway going to my room there was always a slight poop smell and sure enough she would be sitting in there leaned forward reading a magazine and pooping.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Hey everybody! I liked some of the stuff I read here, so I thought I'd share another story with you. It's kinda like FYI's story because of the food mentioned in it, and it happened a few weeks ago. After a big Sunday lunch after church of all the good stuff like fried chicken, green beans, cornbread, coleslaw, and stuff like that, and a dinner to boot, I was stuffed full of southern goodness. Usually to digest my food, I do a few laps around the block so I don't feel as full, but after that food and exercise, you can imagine I was feeling it right around the end of the school day on Monday. A whole heap of it just landed on the bottom of my stomach around the beginning of last period, and it got worse and worse during the course of the period. I didn't want to get up because we were watching a video on finance (I have economics last period) and I didn't want to miss it. I'm sure someone smelled a few of the stinkies I was cutting, but no one said anything. Once school was over, I was out of there and down the hall. But I wasn't sure how long something like this would take, and I had a bus to catch. So I squeezed my big bootie closed and hopped on the bus. Camilla was sitting next to me on the bus, and I was cutting some ripe ones, which she kinda complained about, but she was just teasing. We got off the bus, but by now I was about to go in my pants. I decided to walk in a bushy area so that if I got taken short I could just drop down and go. While we were walking, Camilla saw a little recycling bin someon had just thrown back there, an old one they weren't using any more, and she said "you could use that," like all joking and such, but I was that desperate. "You got any tissues?" I asked her. "Yeah, why, you gonna use that?" she asked. "When you gotta go, you gotta go," I said. I sat on it, not putting my whole weight on it, but kinda squatting on it, and let go. Right then a big turd started opening up my butthole. It was all lodged in there, so I gave it a push and it started going again. It was a big one, probably two or three inches wide, and it was pretty long, but I knew that wasn't it. I felt it pushing against the inside of my hole like it wanted out, so I let it out too. It was about the same size, and pretty smooth, unlike the first, which was kinda bumpy, like an ear of corn. Another just like it came after it. After that, I plopped out two big soft chunks on top of the others, then peed for a while, and I was done. I wiped up with the tissues Camilla gave me, but she only gave me a couple. "Don't you got anymore tissues?" I asked. "Yeah, but I need them," Camilla said. "Seeing you go made me need to go too." She squatted with her big bootie over the bin and started cutting some stinkers. "I guess I wasn't the only one making that smell on the bus," I said. "Yeah, guess not," Camilla said, looking back at me and grinning. She squeezed out some soft sausages, then splattered softer goo on top, with some pee. After she was done, she wiped and was about to pull up when I said, "You missed a spot," and got it for her. Looking in that bin, you'd think a horse just dumped there, since we nearly filled it up, but it was just two teen girls grinding out them loads. I'm glad I eat like I do, because it feels like you're done when you do a big one, instead of feeling kinda finished if you just put out a small turd, not knowing if you're gonna need to come back or not. How about the rest of you? Do you like it better when you do a big one, like a real clogger, or do you like the smaller ones better that take less work?
Once i was at the mall with my friend caitlin. we had a soda, and some fast food. Caitlin is very pretty, so all of the guys were looking at her. After a while, Caitlin turns to me and whispers, "I gotta use the bathroom. Can we go now?" "Can you wait a minute? I want to buy this dress," I said. Caitlin nodded. So, i bought the dress, and then we got cought up in looking at something else. About an hour later, Caitlin says, "I really gotta go now." "You gotta take a shit or piss?" I asked. "Shit, but i need to pee as well." "Sure, then, lets go." We started walking to my house. Even if we were walking at a regular speed (caitlin was walking real slow 'cause she gotta go real bad). After a bit, caitlin is biting her lip, and crossing her legs. We kept on walking, though. Finally, Caitlin said, "We better find a bathroom in the next twenty seconds, or i'm going to shit here, standing up, in my skirt!" We looked around hurridly, but there was no place. Suddenly, I noticed there was a bulge getting slowly larger on Caitlin's butt, and she said, "I'm shitting in my pants!" We walked on, trying to find a bathroom, when i hear a "plop" noise. I look down, and there is a piece of shit on the floor. THEN, i realize that Caitlin was wearing a thong! "You done?" i asked. "No," she whispered, and i noticed another bulge grow and fall out of her skirt as we stand there. Then Caitlin groans very loudly. "We bedda find a toilet, or i'm going to have diarrhea here!" she announces. we start speed walking around, looking for a place with a bathroom. Not finding any, Caitlin groans, says, "I'm going to go diarrhea in like two seconds, so lets go into those bushes!" and walks into the bushes. she pulls off her mini skirt, pulls down her thong, and then instantly diarrhea explodes from her ass. She then groaned, and more came out. Finally, when she was done for the moment, we walked on. We had to stop again like ten minutes later so that Sabrina could repeat the expierience again. About thirty minutes after the last diarrhea explosion, Sabrina turns green, dry heaves, announces, "Fast food doesn't sit in me well," and vomits. When she was done, we walked on. Finally, we got to my house, and Sabrina said she was going to vomit again, so she ran into my house, and kneeled by the toilet and puked. Then she muttered, "I'm going to have diarrhea again, but i'm going to puke as well!" I run and get her a trash can, and she sits on the toilet. All is silent for a moment, and then i hear her groan, and start vomiting. Then, it is accomponied by the noise of lots of shit comming out very fast. This continued for a while, and when she was done, I helped her home. She had one accident from each end on her way home, and once at her house she instantly ran inside and vomited, and leaked diarrhea out of her butt at the same time. I then left her to be sick on her own, and went home. THe next day, she called me to say that she had had food poisoning.
I enjoyed your story about diarrhea during the history final.
Did anyone caught whiff of that SBD?
I really hate using public bathrooms. I am slowly getting comfortable with going solid pooh at work (as long as no one is in the bathroom) but I avoid it as much as possible.
Today it was about 2:45 my stomach started to hurt. I leave at 3:30 so I thought I could wait. Within a minute or two my stomach was really churning and I knew it was going to be diarrhea. I went to the bathroom and forced out a 3 inch very soft pooh. I felt diarrhea slide around inside me and my stomach slowly settled. I peed and left.
About 10 minutes later my stomach was really upset. I went back to the bathroom forced out a decent amount of gas and went back to work. I figured the extra room would settle my stomach until I made it home. Not 10 minutes later my stomach started rolling. I could practically watch it expand and get all bloated. It was gurgling and I knew I couldn't wait. I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet next to the wall. I rubbed my churning ????? and pushed out a completely liquid stream of diarrhea. It was almost silent, with very little noises in between. My stomach churned and my colon filled up again but someone was unlocking the door. I flushed and cleaned myself up.
My ????? was really upset for a while, but by the time I left it was settling. When I got home I went straigt to the bathroom. I peed a lot, and I could hear and feel the liquid pooh moving inside me. I pushed and pushed and finally released a small amount of it. I still felt sick so I crawled into bed and starting playing online.
Its now after 7 and I feel okay. I haven't gone since, but if I move right I can feel that theres still quite a bit inside me. As I'm writing this my stomachs starting to get spinny again... here's hoping I get it all out tonight and not go at work.
A few months ago, two boys in our school got suspended. The first boy was suspended for a week for taking a shit in the back stairwell, and the second boy was suspended for a month after trespassing and taking a shit in a football field of another school. The second bot faced expulsion, but luckily, got to come back to school.
I'm a large 360# appliance repair technician.
I work in NYC. There are few public bathrooms around downtown.
In 1999, I had an attack of explosive diahrea....Holy Moly!!!!!!!
I felt the pressure building up......I said " Misses xxxxxx, May I Please use your bathroom?" She said " I don't let the help use my bathroom! Use the bathroom in Burger King."
I left that snob's house in a state of panic.....Pressure...gas....hold it in.....5 more calls to go to....Please don't leak out!!!!
While waiting for the elevator, I felt the gas bubble out a bit.
I thought it was salvageable. Not so bad .
Thank goodness no one was in the elevator.....There was a slight odor...
I ran out the lobby to my van...I knew I had an orange bucket from home
depot. I unlocked the door on the side shut it behind me and Exploded
into the bucket..what a relief....
This site is a real blast (pun intended....)!! I am wondering if anyone has any good maltitol stories ------ I found out the hard way just how strong the "laxative" effect of maltitol (a sweetener used in that low-carb chocolate) really is...
A few months ago my wife bought a bunch of that low-carb chocolate because she is on the Atkins diet. I love chocolate, so even though I didn't need the low-carb stuff, I tried some anyway. It was really, really good -- -it was surprising. It said on the label that some people may experience a "slight laxative" effect from the chocolate. I didn't really think anything about that, and I never made the connection when, several hours later, I was stricken with some of the worst gas I have ever had. Every few minutes I was letting go with these huge, FOUL, STINKING rip-snorting farts that never seemed to end. I could feel and hear my guts churning, with these huge gas pockets moving down towards my sigmoid colon. Finally the cramps got so bad I had to run to the toilet, and blew out a load of what could only be decribed as coffee laced with caramel-colored mucus. Along with this hydraulic dump camp one of the loudest and longest farts that has ever burst forth from my ass.
Strangely enough, at the time all this brown water was shooting out of my ass, I never made the connection that it could have been the chocolate that had done it. Only several days later when I was once again looking at the ingredients on the package did I really take notice of the laxative warning. It occurred to me that perhaps that was the cause of all the jet-plopping I had done earlier. But how to be sure........? The chocolate tasted so good, and it was hard to believe that only a little bit could pack a wallop, so I decided to try an experiment. Like Dr. Jekyll trying a new version of his potion, I broke off a piece of the chocolate and ate it........
Several hours went by, with no ill effects. Anxiously waiting for the windy-pops to arrive once again, I stayed home in close proximity to a toilet. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Oh well..... so much for science. My wife and I ate dinner and then went out to our local shopping mall. As I usually do, while my wife shops for clothing, I made my way into the Barnes & Noble to browse the books. As I was browsing, I began to feel a slight twinge in my belly, and over the course of the next ten minutes or so the twinging sensation became a slow but steady gurgling. I found myself having to hold back some relatively strong gas pockets from escaping my anal opening as I browsed through the shelves. It kept getting worse, and I began to realize what was happening ---- I was about to generate a copious dataset with which to analyze my "experiment."
I tried to remain calm as the gurgling and cramping increased at a frightening pace ---- I was going to NEED a bathroom in the next few minutes. I relaxed my butt cheeks slightly to see if the mass trying to make its way out my anus was gas or liquid ----- and it was liquid. Time to move ----- I began walking through the bookstore as calmly as I could while squeezing my ass cheeks together as tightly as they would go. I spotted the men's room, and moved towards it. Those last 50 feet to the toilet are always the worst --- it seems as if the door is retreating from you as if you are in a time warp in an episode of "The Twilight Zone". The anticipation of the upcoming relief was overwhelming, and as I flung open the men's room door I was horrified to see that all the stalls were occupied!!!!
The pressure against my anal sphincter was overwhelming, almost to the point of making it difficult to think clearly. For a fleeting moment I considered just running over to one of the urinals on the wall, dropping my pants and shitting into it, but I was still lucid enough to be properly concerned with what the poor bastard pissing into the adjacent urinal would think of me. I ducked back out of the men's room. What to do? This was serious ---- I was literally on the verge of having a fecal explosion right there in the Barnes & Noble, when I noticed that the Starbucks at the end of the bookstore had one of those unisex bathrooms. I made a dash for it, and reached the door after pushing several people on the coffee line out of the way. I slammed the door behind me, and began the herculean task of getting my pants off while pinching my cheeks together and being doubled over in pain. The pants dropped, and I spun around and began the process of sitting down on the seat when my asshole finally opened. I was still in the process of sitting down when the dam broke. A powerful jet of pure liquid shit rocketed out of my ass, making a loud splattering noise against the toilet tank and the wall behind the toilet. For a moment I thought about what this must have looked like viewed profile, and I began to laugh. My colon continued to empty even after I was fully seated, sounding as if someone was pouring a full bucket of water into the toilet. As the pressure subsided, I finally let out a fart that sounded like the last few drops out of a squeeze bottle of Heinz ketchup.
As I sat there, I suddenly realized that not only was my entire ass wet, but my back was too. I slowly stood up, and saw that there was diarrhea all over the toilet seat (and therefore my ass cheeks). I turned around and saw that I had pressure-washed the entire toilet tank with my shit, along with several square feet of the wall ABOVE the tank! The entire toilet tank was covered with a layer of brown sludge. A few lone spatter marks littered the floor near the bowl.
The magnitude of my predicament multiplied by ten when I noticed that there was no toilet paper on the roll. How in god's name am I going to clean this up? I thought about just sneaking out and leaving it, but decided against it after thinking about how crowded the Starbucks was. There were some paper towels in the dispenser by the sink, so I had to make do with those. I wiped up my ass, the toilet seat, the toilet tank, the wall, and the floor with about half of the package of towels, and must have flushed at least five or six times trying to get rid of the dirty ones. I finally finished, left the bathroom as fast as I could, and never went back into that Starbucks again.
PUNK ROCK GIRL:
Yes, I've had a high colonic before. I forget how
much it cost because it was a long time ago. I took my
bottoms off and had to lay on a wooden board with a big
hole cut out on the end of it.
I then had to stick a long thin tube in my rectum and the
person there turned on the warm water. As the water went in
I pushed out what was in me. I felt really clean afterwards
but used a tampon as not to mess my panties.
Other then that I have just had some Fleets.
Good story. Does any other women have any stories like that?
Hehe, you want more Greece stories? Here you go, still have a few. One night I was walking home from a party around 2 in the morning. It had been a beach party far away from the village, so it was a nice walk through the dunes and fields in the darkness. Suddenly I saw a group of maybe 10 girls standing together, fumbling with a small flashlight and watching something. Coming closer I realized they were all staring at a guy standing there peeing... I guess had it been a girl I'd watched too.
The last day was the funniest, that's my best story. We had a farewell party at a surfing club over at Paros. When I got there a female friend of mine said: "Have a look at the toilets. They're real funny!" You had to go out the back door of the main building and there it was... a small shabby brick building, most obviously still under construction. Through a big opening without a door you got into some kind of main room with one door to the left and one to the right. The cast for the concrete ceiling was still in place, supported by a few tiny wooden columns that obviously hadn't been long enough, so they were resting on a few bricks. No plaster, no lights, just some bare wires hanging out of the walls. The men's room to the right was closed, looking through the open door I just saw lots of debris all over the place. On the door there was a scribbled note in a terrible English telling the guys "bathroom out of order, use ladie's". Going in there I saw a ceiling support right in front of the door (don't want to imagine a drunk person running into that, would have probably knocked over the whole building). The door wouldn't close properly and there was no way of locking it. I had a pee and tried to flugh the toilet. The tank was out of order like everything else, no lid, not connected to the water line and only some rusty water at the bottom. Out of the wall came a shower hose with a spigot. You had to hold the hose into the toilet bowl, turn on the water and flush...
Just as I was pulling up my pants a female classmate opened the door, blushed, stumbled an apology and dashed out again. Not that she'd seen anything though. Some time later I went back to take some pictures of that weird toilet. As I was doing so the owner of the place came up and asked: "Brand new toilet! You like it?" I said something polite and dashed into a corner to laugh my ass off... The next day one guy told me he had talked to the owner and that he had built the toilet three years ago, did everything himself and was very proud of it. Go figure... Later in the evening I decided to go again, this time together with another guy who'd stand guard in front of the door. It had gotten dark, and I was wondering how they were going to light the building. Well, coming in I saw it. They had put up a camping gas lantern! The heat it gave off made peeing standing extremely uncomfortable. Due to the ingenious flush method the floor was covered with 1 inch of water by then. Most girls I talked to told me when they saw it they just went into the bushes. Once I stood guard for the girl who'd first told me about the toilet. Hearing her pee through the door got me excited because I had had a crush on her when we were kids.
2 weeks ago I went to a University party. The park I mentioned earlier is situated between the subway station and the main building of the university. Around 12 I decided to go home because the party was boring and I wanted to catch the last tramway. Every single tree in the park had a drunk guy standing next to it having a piss...
When I was 15 we had a sports week from school. I chose sailing, and after sailing courses we had lots of time to ourselves. The weather was incredible, all sunny and up to 36 degrees Celsius, so we spent most of the time at the public pool. We could get in there for free because there was some kind of deal between the windsurfing school and the pool. Anyway, I was sitting in the grass with a cute girl when a boy of about 6 went to the side of the lawn, pulled down his bathers and peed. I wasn't interested at all, but Katrin (the girl) stared there intently. I made some joke about her staring, and she just replied: "Hey, I like to watch little boys pee!" I'm still mad at myself I didn't tell her: "Hey I like watching girls too, lemme watch you?". Well, the chance has passed by, it's a thing of the past.
uggh...i just had the worst experience on the toilet today. i don't know what made me sick, whether it was some fast food i had a couple nights ago or a virus, but i had the shits bad a while ago. yesterday i had major gas. it was terrible. i figured it might have something to do with what i ate or whatever. nothing else happened. then today, i catch a horrendous pain in my stomach. i know what pain that is-it means diahrrea. so i headed to the bathroom (at home luckily) and sat on the toilet. what followed next was probably the worst pain i have felt in a long time. it felt like my asshole was on fire as i was shitting! the pain was so bad i almost cried. when it was over, i wiped my ass, flushed the toilet, and went back to my room to recuperate. a little while later, i had to go back again; i felt my ass filling up with more shit, so i ran back in there. it was worse the second time around. i didn't shit much, but it was enough to make it feel as if my asshole was on fire again. as i was pushin' crap out of my ass, i moaned rather loudly. i was in pain.
once i was done, i wiped up, flushed the toilet, and got outta there. i haven't been back in about half an hour now. my hole feels much better now. i have class tonight. i'm scared that i might have to go again while i'm at school. i don't like using the restroom at school or anywhere in public when i have to shit like that. i make noises a-plenty. once, i ate too much sugar-free ice cream before class (over consumption causes a laxative effect), and that night during one of the breaks (we get 10-min. breaks at the top of every hour), i rushed to the restroom because i couldn't hold it in anymore. at first, i tried to ease my farts out silently when someone else came in, but once they left, i let it out hard. i farted loudly, and was very certain that people walking by outside the restroom could hear me. then came the shit. i tried to go real quick so i wouldn't be late getting back to class. i don't know just how long i stayed in there, but it was long enough to crap enough to lose a couple of pounds lol.
i had to go again the next break, and made more noises and crapped some more. when class was over for the night, you can imagine how glad i was to leave after that!
uh-oh...feels like i gotta go again.
thanks for reading.
Oh man, I have to poo badly! I hope I can finish this post before I must stop to poo!
The other day I went poo after about 5 days of not having to go. Well, I finally felt the urge to poo, so I went to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and sat on the toilet. I immediately farted, which was pretty loud. Then I felt a poo poke out of my butt. Then I heard crackling, and a nice, firm poo started sliding out. This poo kept coming and coming! After it plopped in the toilet, I farted again, then I was done.
Well, I must go and poo now! All this reading and writing about poo has got my poo to start poking out of my butt as I type this!
Keep up the poo!
Take care guys.
I pooped my shorts tonight. I was on the phone and my stomach was grumbling i thought i was just hungry cause i needed to eat soon. I was talking to this girl on the phone that i really like and we were talking about sex and other stuff. Anyway i was leaning over my bed and i felt this warm stuff come out of my ass into my shorts. oh god i told her to hold on and i went into the bathroom and carefully pulled of my shorts to assess the damage. well i threw the soiled pants and boxers into the tub to deal with later and i sat on the toilet quickly to let out a little more. then i grabbed a washcloth and wet it and quickly wiped my ass clean i grabbed 2 tissues and wet the tip and pushed it up my ass to help if i had to go again. i rushed back to the phone and appologised and everything was ok. im not sure why i had the shits i saw some stuff in it that may have been part of a salad i ate earlier the thing is ive been doing alot of enemas recently cause i love the feeling of the water up my ass and i like my ass to be clean alot so its possible i didnt get all the water out of my ass earlier thats happened before. i think im gonna have to go again soon cause my tunny is grumbling more. im thinking i should do another enema but im not sure yet. it sure would feel good but ill see how the next couple minutes goes anyway later all let me know what you think. oh and Punk Rock Girl you should continue with the enemas, I know I love them, I havent gotten a colonic yet but i want one, I found out if you get one they charge almost $60 i think but ive heard its worth every penny anyway illl stich to my enemas, take care
Catherine: Wow from your stories you seem to be very lucky that you didn't have an accident after you were six. And could you plz briefly describe what u and your friend Sabrina look like. Don't worry I'm not a pervert. Its just to have a better mental image when reading your stories. Thanks.
Jim: That was nasty! Stuffing peppers up your ass? That should come out of Jackass the Movie, not a kid's camp!
Chili: Are you Austrian? I went there last summer on a tour of Europe and Turkey...
I guess I should tell a story to justify my post.
As I told you before I play (ice) hockey, and when I was 16 there was this time where we played a game at Burnaby 8-rinks against another local team. Usually I consider myself a pretty good player with decent speed, strength, etc (though not NHL material haha) and i was pretty confident heading in. Problem was, I hda drank quite a bit of water and gatorade before heading in and within five minutes of the opening faceoff I felt like I really needed to take a piss. I mean REALLY. I was doing all I could not to think about anything to do with water, but my teammates kept drinking from their water bottles on the bench and that made my urge get worse. However, being the strong "playoff warrior" that I was, I shrugged it off and managed to play a pretty decent first period, getting a few shots on net and "pissing off" the opposition with steady checking. However on one play in the first period I took the puck in the neutral zone and swooped over the blueline. Seeing no good passing options (all my linemates were on a change) I simply threw a hard wrist shot on the net. Right when I shot it, an opposing player knocked me hard to the ice. My butt hit the ice and suddenly I felt the urge to pee had dissapeared. Then I felt a wet, warm feeling at the front of my crotch. A sinking feeling came over me, I realized that I had peed my hockey pants. While all this was going on I heard a lot of hollering and cheering from my own bench. Surprised, I got up quickly, and realizing what had happened, sheepishly raised my hockey stick in celebration. Apparently the opposing goalie did not expect me to shoot the puck on net on that line change and he had whiffed on it, giving me a goal. I skated back to the bench and thanked my lucky stars that we were wearing our black jerseys that day and therefore the stain was practically invisible. The smell was strong, but was overpowered by the usual "hockey-equipment" smell, so no one noticed. I played the rest of the game without further incident, and when I say that I mean toilet-wise AND game-wise, as my fluke goal was the ONLY goal between our two teams, giving us the 1-0 win. To this day not one of my teammates nor my coach knows of this "accident" whose pungent-smelling odour guranteed the sweet-smelling 1-0 victory...
Hi. I've been reading this site for 2 months and I love it. This is my first time posting, though. I have a story that happened about two years ago.
I was swimming in a deep pool downtown. It was only me there, and I had the whole pool to myself. After about 30 minutes of swimming, I dove down to the bottom and saw something. I got closer and relized it was a piece of poop. I told the lifeguard, and he fished it out with a net. The next day, I went back to the pool. I was diving in the same place, when I saw another piece of poop. So I got out and told the lifeguard. This time he closed the pool and probably refilled it. I haven't been back there in a while.
That's my story, hope you all liked it.
See ya some other time!
this was cool !just the other day I was out riding my bike and while crusing down this dirt road near whee I live in southbury CT [ usa] I had to pee. I knew there was a car coming, but thought it was farther dow the road than I thought and so, I stopped my 21 speed mountain bike, pulled down my bike shorts and began to pee, when all of a sudden I see th car coming. I wet the front of my bike shorts, as I was just beginning to urinate on the dirt road and sure enough, it was two women from new york [ the plates said " new york"] . I was wondering if they actually saw, and got a look at their faces as if they KNEW why the road was wet! after they passed I again pulled out my " urinator" [ penis] and finished watering down the dirt road in the middle and left a foamy puddle for all to see. then rode off and said to myself " thee's some hillbilly peeing, y'all!"
Adrian, Im glad you like my posts. I have read back through yours in Old Posts and find them very interesting and entertaining. You certainly have a great knowledge and interest in defaecation matters. One question I must ask, did you ever hear your Aunt Anne doing a motion or see her jobbies afterwards?
Maureen did an interesting poo about 10 minutes ago. It was a big long fat easy one which was solid (not "sold" as put in my most recent post, would someone want to buy Maureen's Motion?) but smooth and as I watched it slid out of her quite easily, making a crackling sound but made no noise when it entered the water. When she got up off the pan I saw it and started to laugh. Pulling up her big pink briefs she asked "What's so funny about my jobbie?" When she looked she too laughed. The start of her turd had touched against the back of the pan as she was still doing it and had bent over in a 90 degree turn to make an "L" shape, there was a brown skid mark where it had touched the pan. As it was thick and solid it hadn't broken off. I pulled down my white briefs and buddy dumped my own, a long fat cucumber shaped jobbie on top of Maureen's. Both turds are stuck, I will get rid of them later when they soften up from lying in the water. For those who like to know our turds were fat and 12 inches long.
Many here seem to be into "accidents" and I saw an interesting one take place yesterday. I was at a shopping parade near where I live. A young bloke of about 20 or so was ahead of me and wearing a black track suit as many do these days. We were in the queue for the Cash Machine ATM outide a bank. I could see he was wearing briefs not boxers under his tracksuit bottoms from the VPL and the waistband with the brand name sticking above that of the trackies, just as well as it turned out. As I stood behind him I head him fart a couple of times, dry but loud strong smelling trumps. He was also fidgeting quite a bit and I thought to myself, he needs a poo very urgently. He was obviously anxious as he swore at the machine, which was quite a slow one needing a lot of key presses, "Come on you BLANK just give me the money!" He farted again then went "Oh BLANK! and I knew what was happening . I heard the crackling and could not resist looking at the seat of his tracksuit in which a familiar bulge started to appear while the smell of poo wafted towards me. By now his money had been dispensed and he grabbed it. The bulge was huge by now, I reckoned he had just done a really big jobbie in his underpants. I said nothing of course as he took the cash and walked stiffly away. Lucky for him he was wearing a black track suit not a light coloured one, and it looked as if he had done a solid formed motion, not a loose or diarrhea one. I watched him walk towards the Gents Toilets in the nearby car park and couldn't understand why he didnt go to those toilets first then get his money from the machine? I decided to follow at a safe distance, getting my money later. Sure enough he went into the Gent's Toilet and entered a cubicle at the end, closing and bolting the door. I went into the adjoining one although I didn't need a pee or a motion myself. I heard a lot of rustling and assumed he was taking off his track suit bottoms and soiled underpants and the smell of poo was very strong. He swore again to himself then I heard a lot of toilet paper being pulled off the roll and his wiping his bum several times. After about five minutes he must have cleaned up as best he could and I head him pulling up his track suit bottoms and pull the flush and leave. He washed his hands then went out. Quickly I slipped out of my cubicle and into the one he had occupied. The faecal smell was still powerful but on the floor lay a pair of mens' navy blue slip briefs in the seat of which was a big brown mass. Half of it was squashed into a sort of egg shape but about 6 inches were still in the normal cylinder shape so I reckon he had done a big easy one which would have been nice jobbie had he done it into the pan and not into his underpants. I left them there and quickly went out as I didn't want someone to come into the toilet and think I had filled my briefs.
Maureen has agreed that I can tell you about the accident she had, described in my recent post. We were in our teens, me 14 and Maureen 16 and walking back from school at about 4.00pm. I knew Maureen needed a motion, we have always been open about these matters and discussed them. She hadn't used the Girls' Toilet at school as there were workmen in painting and the alternative Girls' Toilet was at the other end of the school. We walked about a mile then Maureen said, "Oh damn, I don't think I can hold it in till we get home", and farted a couple of times. There wasn't a Public Toilet anywhere near and nowhere she could have gone behind to do her motion such as walls, bushes etc. We hurried our pace but Maureen suddenly stopped and said, "Oh no, it's coming out in my knickers" As she stood there I heard her go "UH!" and could also hear the crackling and knew that she was doing a big jobbie in the seat of her underpants. Luckily these were big white cotton briefs with elastic in the leg bands and she was wearing a pleated grey knee length skirt. She also wet her knickers but as we were on grass at the time and she stood with her legs apart the wee wee dribbled onto the grass and was not visible and she didnt wet her legs or skirt. "Lucky it was a solid motion , but it was a big one!" Maureen said when it was all over. We walked home, our parents were out at work. So we both went to the toilet. When Maureen slipped off her skirt which hadn't been soiled, I could see that her white cotton knickers were bulged out at the back as if by a tent pole. When she stepped out of them we saw that the big turd was almost undamaged but flattened at the start where it had pressed against the seat of her knickers and it looked like a big brown nail. There was a wide round brown stain in the seat of her briefs were it had touched the cotton fabric. We emptied it down the pan and she washed her knickers out in the handbasin and let them dry over the radiator in her bedroom overnight. Our mother wouldn't have been angry with her, we all had the occasional accident, even Mum did, but Maureen didn't want to give her the extra laundry and we said nothing about her accident.
I had an experience for you the other and it was fun .... I had just got off work from a full hard day or work and got stuck in traffic
and I need to dump really bad but more like cramping and farting and
etc so I keep a bucket and lysol and toilet paper in my car in my back floor board and so I took my shorts off and had nothing from there on and sat on the bucket and at the red light and getting comfortable and
need to piss also .... so I thought I would piss slowly in the bucket so I would not piss on the sit and I hit a country road so I could piss and try to dump now while getting home there was this line of cars in front me stopped in the road so I had just stopped pissing as i go stuck in that traffic and i keep easing up with the flow of the cars and it was a a click it or ticket thing I had my seat belt on but no pants or panties just pussy you can see and half of my stomach ....
as I got up there I started pushing as I stopped by the police I felt the turd in cheeks of my butt .... well he looked at me said mama i need to see your licenses and registration and he looked down and said mama what are you doing half naked in the car I said I am busy doing something .... so i grunted a little and turned to the passenger side of the car and leaned over for him to see the turd coming out my crack and when I leaned over I farted and it came out about 4 inches really fast .... he said mama it is ok I see what you are doing he said it is against the law to be naked in the car I am said I am only naked to shit then i am putting my clothes back on and I told him that I was on my way home and need to shit and got stopped in traffic and need to push it all out badly and I pushed somemore and moaned grunted and told him to hold on i need to pushed in agony and mannnnnnnnnnnn pssfffff nughhhhhhhhhh I am really needing to push a few more out can i move on or over for a few minutes if you all want to watch me I can open up my car door plus the heat is making it harder to push .... if you want me to I can let you wipe me and rub my butt while I dump if it will make you happy so I can go home .... he said mama I cant let you go anywhere til you put your clothes on I said go away so I can dump and then I will leave clothed .... so He walked on left my car door open so people can watch me as they road by and I finally done 4 long turds and about 10 balls and 4 medium lengthy turds .... but it was a good experience getting pulled over and letting them watch my turds come out ..... pooping women
If you really need to have a pee,
the pressure is making you flinch,
and nowhere a potty are you able to find,
the outdoors will do in a pinch!
The potty is the place where you go
to sit and have your morning pee
but you just might want to keep sitting a while
if you just drank a load of strong coffee
i hadd a school embarassment yesterday,am 11 years old and i am in year six,
anyway,i am really badly constipated(and i mean really bad!)so i took some jiunor califig for kids,at school next day i felt so bad and accidentally had soft poop running down my skinny legs.my teacher miss stone knows about my problem,so i was sent home after 9.00 clock.
i was like that all week,
has anyone had diarrehah running down they're lkegs whilst wearing white undies?
King of the Throne
last night i did the koolest thing ever. I was sitting in my bedroom watching tv when i felt that famliar rumbling, you know the one. So as i was heading over to the toilet i had this great idea. Why dont i go outside, i mean everyone in the neighborhood had their lights off and it was past midnight so the likelyhood of me being caught was very slim. So i grab a plastic bag, and with a hop skip and a jump i'm out the door. But then i wonder, where should i put this dastardly deed once i finish. So i walk up to the garage and open up the trashcan lid, yes, yes, yes, there is room under some cat food bag to hide my dump. So i walk back into the backyard, and what do i see but a car flying down the alleyway. Whoa lucky i did that reconnasiance mission i think. I then double check all the neighbors houses, making sure all the windows are dark, when i see that they are i run inside, grab a plastic bag, and calmly and quietly walk completely nude outside. I sit down on the swing set with my butt hanging over the one side of the swing, and wrap my arms around my back, holding the sack over my ass, and start to go. The poo itself wasnt impressive, just a couple of soft logs, and a few wet farts. However i just felt so free out there with the wind wipping my junk around knowing i could be caught at any minute. Tonight i plan on doing the same thing only maybe swinging, and skipping my afternoon poo so the load is bigger.
Punk Rock Girl. Hi! Enjoyed your post about the enema. I tend to get rather constipated sometimes - too much rich food I suspect - and not always getting my five portions of fruit and veg in every day. I don't know whether I ever will but one day I might see what colonic irrigation's like.
Brian. I think what you say about women passing bigger jobbies than men is often true and borne out by the experience of other posters here. Part of the answer is, I think, evolutionary. For thousands of years the traditional roles undertaken by women, particularly on the domestic front, have meant that the need to do a poo hasn't always coincided with convenient opportunities to have one. Consequently I think women have probably got better at retaining BM's than men and as part of this their rectums have developed to cope with extra capacity. I may be wrong but it is a theory!
I had a major, semi liquid poo when I got home for work today, leaving significant skid marks on the bowl which were still there after a few flushes. However, I've put some bleach down the loo and left it to stand so hopefully that should shift them after an hour or two.
Best wishes to all!
Friday, May 28, 2004
I was bored at work the other day so I decided to go to the upstairs toilet ( 3 cubicles ) and have a listen to someone having a shit.
This toilet has a nice intimate atmosphere, because t ocan hear people grunting as they squeeze it out, and then a sigh as it drops.
As I was walking in, someone went in front of me, about 30 years old.
The middle cubilce was occupied, so he went in the far one and I went in the second.
I couldn't manage anything myself, but I didn't have long to wait.
Plop, followd shortly after by a louder PLOP.
He then started wiping his arse
Here's a few phrases to add to your poo dictionary.
To Draw an Ace - Upon wiping the backside after a 'chod', the tolet paper is clean with the first wipe.
Chod - Poo, dump etc.
Shit Pangs - Similar to hunger pangs, but when you get the build up of brown pressure in the rectum that signals the onset of 'laying a cable'.
When we were in Germany with the Army, I made one of the blokes do a chod in a subway, then put a piece of cardboard on it and jumped up and down on it and it splattered everywhere! Trust me - it was funny at the time!
In my early days of drinking, after a good session, me and my mate kind of broke in to a disused factory, but discovered that some others had beaten us to it. We knew this by the amount of human shit that was dotted over the floor of this place (I had one of those mini-maglites in my pocket, for those times when you might need one!) You could tell straight away that it was human poo. So in my drunken state, I ordered him to write his name in shit on the wall, while I found a stick and stuck it in the piles of plop that was there, and then flung these turds against the wall. However, I 'conveniently forgot' (heehee!) my mate was standing there, doing some shit-graffitti, and he got a line of someone elses poo across his face! He saw the funy side after a few months!
If you check my previous post (I can't remember what page it was on, and I don't really care neither) when I dumped in someone's Range Rover, I went through a period of crapping in odd places whenever I was pissed (English sense of the word, meaning drunk). Me and my other mate sat next to each other outside a supermarket entrance at about midnite with tears of laughter rolling down our cheeks while we were laying these mucky brown deposits at the doorway! I was an idiot back then, but I'm trying to grow up now.
About trash cans, toilets, and which end goes over what: I think because puke is easier to aim and not nearly as gross to clean up if you miss, one should puke in the trash can and sit on the toilet.
The first time (and because of this, the last time) I had mustard greens, I got really sick. I sat on the toilet, but since the sink is next to it, I could lean far enough to puke into it instead of having to look for a trash can. So it's not *quite* the same as the trash can situation, but similar.
Once, last year, I was sick. I had terrible diarrhea, but i came to school anyway because it was the history final. It was first period, and even though i had felt very...shall we call it...queezy...on the bus, I didn't go to the bathroom when i got to school. So, the history final was 3 hours long. About 20 minutes in, I realized i needed to go. I walked up to the person who was proctoring my final, and said "Can i please go to the bathroom?" she asked me if it was an emergancy, and I said no. So, another twenty minutes later, I realized that i needed to shit still, but instead i just let out a long, smelly silent fart. I couldn't concentrated on my final at all! So, an hour after I had started taking the final, I went up to the proctorer, and said, "May i please use the bathroom?" she once again asked me if it was an emergancy, but this time i said YES! She said, fine, go then. I needed to go diarrhea really badly now, so I ran as fast as i could to the bathroom. I got to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and had diarrhea explosions for twenty minutes. Then, i realized...THE FINAL! I quickly cut my diarrhea short, wiped, and ran back to the final. Before the final was over, i had had to excuse myself from the final three more times to run to the bathroom and go diarrhea. At the end of the final, i quickly handed my final in, and ran to the bathroom. I then had a few more diarrhea explosions, and decided i MUST go home! So, I went home. The rest of the day I spent having diarrhea explosions, and later that night I woke up, felt my stomach bubbling, and ran to the bathroom and puked. Between a pause in puking, i realized that i was going to shit diarrhea again, so I grabbed a garbage can, sat on the toilet, and shit diarrhea into the toilet, and puked into a trash can. I was really sick, and this continued for four days, and for another 5 after was followed by terrible violent diarrhea explosions. The exam was on a friday, so i was sick, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday puking and having diarrhea, and friday, saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday having diarrhea explosions. I took wednesday off too because I felt shaky, and had to end up taking thursday and friday off as well do to terrible diarrhea. I felt so sick i wished i was in school and not sick! Everyone was very worried about me. OH YEAH...and i got an A on my history final anyway! SCORE! Oh yeah...all through this, i never had an accident in my pants!!
Hi to all !
I am working in an office with only a single unisex restroom. About one month ago, this cute 24 year old blonde girl suddenly rushed into the toilet. She stayed there for about twenty minutes and flushed three times, so it was obvious that she was taking a crap. I waited about five minutes, after she had left and entered the restroom. The smell was still in the air.
About three years ago, I went to the "Donauinselfest" which is a festival that takes place in Vienna every year at the end of June. There are several concerts there, and a lot of people. I had a few beer and had to piss. There were long lines before the toilets, so like most men I went for the bushes. After I had unzipped my fly and begun to pee, I suddenly heard a loud fart. I look into the direction the noise came from, and thee was a about 40 years old woman squatting. I couldnīt see anything, because it was dark so I finished my pee and went back to the concert.
When I was twelve at summer camp, I wanted to join this club of kids, both boys and girls, and they made me do the initiation. They all threw different gross things in a hat and I had to pick one out and do it. I picked "stuff hot peppers up your ass". I wanted to be in the club, so I pulled some out of the jar and pulled down my pants and underwear and shoved three of them in my rectum. They made me leave them in there for several minutes. It hurt to take a shit for about a week after that.
Punk Rock Girl
I had Colin give me an enema last night. I'd been constipated for a few days, just managed to squeeze out a few pebbles. He stuck the tube up my ass and filled my bowels with warm water. It did the trick in just a few minutes. What felt like ten pounds of shit all came rushing out. Wow, what a rush.
Has anyone ever gotten a professionally administered enema, like a high colonic? I've never had one. What's it like?
If you choose to hold the urge to pee,
a very strong bladder you may posess...
but if later a potty you are unable to find,
be prepared to make one heck of a mess!