Twice Shy
But Ma, it's MINE!
It must be some indirectly-caused artifact of my toilet training in the mid 1960's (yes, yes, I hear you, Drs. Freud et al.) that causes me to hold back the inevitable arrival of a new, putrid dropping for the municipal authorities to deal with downstream. I'll sit around for some time, typically after a new meal of certain substance, and experience that accelerating course of truly nasty farts that means the choo-choo's coming, only I delay going to the john. When I finally do make that trip, it is something of a curiosity, that I'd want to hold on to something so thoroughly worthless and potentially toxic as a load of crap. After all, we're talking of an exclusively offensive accumulation, loaded with putrefied remains as befits an omnivorous being with well-established flora. I could understand, perhaps, if someone were about to become dehydrated or depleted of electrolytes from one more dump (e.g., is IT in you?), only in this case there is generally a new supply! of these components in place across the terminals, as received from the input end. Still, something for me is a satisfaction, to hold a pent-up order of poo. Perhaps this stems from the days when it pleased my mother when I could do so.
[to the tune of "Whip it"]
When some dukey comes along,
You must sh*t it,
Before it stays up there too long,
You must sh*t it.
Crap that sh*t!
[to the tune of "Grand Old Ivy", from "How to Succeed..."--Imagine Robert Morse (who reminds me a bit of SpongeBob) in the Executive Washroom; the part they don't show in the 1967 film]
Rot-ten du-key,
Blown by the hunk,
Rot-ten du-key,
Ker-plunk, ker-plunk, ker-plunk,
Rot-ten du-key,
Filling up the toilet bowl with terrible nasty doo,
Flush, flush, flush, the sh*t-hunks, down the loo.
Hello fellow toileters, Thought you might like to hear about my visit to my parents house the other day. I took the dog out for a walk with my younger brother (he's 15) up to the woods at the back of their house. He said he needed a wee and looking around he unzipped his fly and took his willy out and started weeing.I tried not to look but curiosity got the better of me. His pee shot out the end of his willy in a jet. After he finished he shook it and put back in his pants and zipped back up. He looked at me and asked if I wanted to go. I said I did but I wouldn't go in front of him. Why not he asked, you just watched me. I told him it was different as I was older and had more to show. We walked on a bit further, but the cold had taken its toll and I really needed to go. I told him that I had to go to toilet and asked him not to watch. I pulled my panties down to my knees and made him turn round. Raising my skirt to my waist I squatted down and immediately started to wee.! I looked down to see my lips parted and my wee gushing out on to the ground. When I looked back up I noticed my brother looking intently between my legs watching my pee coming out of my vagina. I called him a dirty sod. After I had finished I stood up and pulled my panties back up round my bottom and pulled my skirt back down. We went home and I rushed upstairs to the loo so I could wipe myself. I didn't bother closing the door which was a mistake because as I pulled my panties back down he walked in and asked if he could wipe me. So I told him no he couldn't and to bugger off. He sulked off into his bedroom, so I continued to wipe myself. Just then my mum walked in and asked if I was going to the loo. I said no I was just cleaning up. Good she said and pulled her slacks down and sat on the toilet.
Jamie
Okay I'll make this short and simple cause I really gotta pee and I'm about to go in my panties any moment.
I was just getting ready to go on stage for a concert I was performing in one evening earlier last year. I just left bathroom in my dressing room because I had to go really bad before I sang. But as I got about half way to the backstage entrance outside I was suddenly desperate again and couldn't hold it any longer as I looked frantically around for a place to go, then I quickly ran to a hedge of bushes and hid inside them as I began to fart uncontrollably.
I could feel my pee beginning slip out as a couple large squirts escaped into my cotton panties. I quickly lifted my skirt up and took my panties off squatting down just in time as my bladder finally gave out under the pressure unleashing a huge stream of warm pee that came surging out of my vagina, gushing and squirting with the force of a fire hose. It splashed noisily into a puddle on the ground between my feet as I sat there feeling a sense of relief, one fart after another fart, then another as I peed like crazy.
I peed for the longest time too, I sat there squirting for a full minute as I farted continously at the same time. When I finally finished going pee, I farted again about 5 more times then one long loud wet fart a sixth time before I was completely done.
It was so embarrassing for me the rest of the night, even humiliating too. I tried so hard not to, but I went pee 5 times and pooped 4 times during my concert while I was singing. I eventually had to strip completely naked and finish my concert with no clothes on. I couldn't stop going pee or poop or farting, I just didn't have any control that night.
Oooh, I gotta pee.......I'm starting to pee my panties now. Now I really gotta go bad. The end. (FART, FART, FARRRRT......)wetguy
To Vanessa - Interesting story.
To shy pooper - Same with me, I am 17/m and still do not crap anywhere but at home. I have certainly been desperate once in awhile, but always manage to hold it. I too would have an enormous problem actually admitting to someone that i need to crap real bad, but i'm sure that will eventually become more doable with time. On the other hand, I have no trouble peeing in public, and would have a hard time going anywhere if i did!
Today in school, we were taking a test in this class and about halfway through the period this one kid (pretty handsome, for those who care about such things) rose his hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Naturally, everyone suspected that what he really wanted to do was look at notes planted in his pocket or something. However, he said he would empty his pockets and leave everything in the room, saying, "I reeallly have to go to the bathroom." When the teacher let him go, he was very appreciative and relieved, and he was gone for about 3-4 minutes, so he must have had to pee pretty bad (no, he didnt have to take a dump). Thing is, this test was last period and I had to pee pretty bad myself having not been since that morning, but I didnt want to leave during the test so I just had to fidget a little and clench my muscles to hold it. Very long pee right after that class, though!
-wetguyBen In Iowa
Haven't posted here in forever but Emma I really enjoyed your story. Hope to hear more from you.
Hope to get back to posting.
More Later.
Poopmeister
Kelly-do you wet the toilet paper before wiping? Nsxt time you finish dry wiping, wet the paper and then wipe-you will notice that there is more poop to clean...
BusinessLady-enjoyed your story-I love hearing about a woman in a business suit enjoying a satisfying dump...hope you post more
Eric in Chicago
Super Soaker (great nickname!): I wish I had gone to your high school. Or maybe I don't :) For some reason my high school (super-elite public school back in the 70s) never had the standard set of defined cliques. Probably rather time-and-place specific.
I never had accidents as a kid, at least that I can remember, though I started deliberately shitting my pants shortly after I turned 13 (first time, I filled my high school gym shorts with a nice firm but smelly load) and deliberately pissing them shortly before I turned 15 (first time I made a big wet spot in that same pair of gym shorts). I can only remember one other kid (in elementary school) having accidents. I'm sure others did, but I just didn't notice it.
Donnie M: Commercials are generally stupid, for a toilet-related reason: they have to get and hold the attention of someone who's desperate to pee!
Conventional Wisdom says that nearly all urinary tract infections in males are sexually transmitted (females are more prone to UTIs because they've got shorter urethras and the external opening of the urethra gets exposed to shit; apparently the most common bacteria that cause UTIs in women are the ordinary e.coli found in everybody's shit). Is there something you aren't telling us? :) I guess not: Cipro isn't effective against the typical STD bacteria.
The current thinking on the cruise ship virus situation is that the ships cross-infect each other as a result of them all taking in water and dumping sewage in the same places. Apparently the desalinization process they use on "incoming" water doesn't reach high-enough temperatures to kill the virus involved (which, by the way, is the same virus responsible for most cases of the "stomach flu"; it's a pretty mundane and common virus).
In the middle of writing this, I took a piss and about half of it wound up on the floor! My stream's always been rather prone to splitting, but usually it isn't *this* bad.
Luke
I have serious gas lately and thought I would share something with you. I too take dumps in bookstores. In fact, just the other day, I had a diarreah in one! After that, I felt great but I'll say the gas stunk up the place bad!! If this was in my dorm, all of my buddies would make fun of me. As if THEY never stunk up the joint. When they take a shit, the place smells like bombs away!
ANON
I have read a few stories on here about guys weeing their swim wear at the beach. I did this by accident while in the Caribbean. I was lying in a hammock drinking beer and had been all afternoon.
I felt the need to wee but held it until I knew I had to get up or I'd wet myself. I had started to fidgit and was uncomfortable so decided it was best to go.
I went to get up and got my foot caught up in the hammock and was struggling to free it. This took my concentration of bladder control and the next thing I knew I was wetting myself. The relief was so overwhelming I didn't want to stop.
I didn't think I was ever going to stop but eventually I did and looked down at the damp patch I'd made on the sand. It was quickly absorbed but my bum was soaked and I'd got a wet patch on my front.
I stood up and covered my bum with my hands and headed to the sea. I knew some people had seen what I'd done and I was embarrassed but there was nothing I could do to stop myself weeing once I'd started.
your name :)whizzer
Vanessa,
I want to hear the second story.I.P.Daily
A fart story.
I was a trainer at a gym.One day I was called in to the office.There was this very pretty red headed girl named Emily waiting for me to start training her on the equipment.She had a beautiful rounded ass,the kind of ass that when you walked behind her and looked at it ,you just wanted to bury your face in it.Well this day I'll never forget.I showed Emily around and started to show her how to use some of the weights and exercising equipment.Every once in a while I would smell a fart.I found it hard to believe that it was her,but it had to be ,as nobody else was around and it wasn't me.After about 20 min.I had her use this machine where she had to strain,thats when she let out a nice loud fart.She didn't even flinch or say excuse me or anything.I was so turned on just knowing that she was going to poop after exercising.I could tell by the smell of her farts,that that was next.Wish I could have been there.Girls any stories that you could tell where you had to poop and you ! where letting farts out where they could be heard or smelled.
Sara
Bryian - no actualy I didn't poop. I haven't been in like two days until today.
I had a horrible day today. I woke up this morning with stomach cramps. I though I might just be hungry or something so I had something to eat but then I just felt worse. I went to school and towards the end of my first class I knew I should have just stayed home because I had to have diarrhea. I was still going to try holding it all day but by the time I got to my third class I knew there was no way I was goin to be able to hold it that long. I asked the teacher to be excused and he wrote me a pass. I went staight to the nearest bathroom. There was one other person in there but I didn't care anymore if there were ten. I got right into a stall, pulled my pants down and sat. It came out slowly at first and then I let loose with a torrential downpour of liquid shit. The other girl was finished peeing so she left to wash her hands. More shit poured out my butt and then there was another wave. The other girl was finished with her hands and she said "are you ok in there , hon! ?" I said I was feeling pretty sick and she said she was sorrry and hoped I felt better and left. More shit came out and I felt like I was done. I felt much better.
Against my best intentions I had something to eat at lunch which did not sit well with me at all and by my 5th class I needed to go again. I was able to hold it until I got home, by which time I was pretty desperate. I did more of the same. I've gone two more times since then and I feel pretty horrible. I hope this over for me now.Punk Rock Girl
Howdooyadoo?
Some friends of mine at work were talking yesterday during lunch, and the subject of our conversation eventually moved towards our bathroom habits. One of my friends asked if any of us ever peed or crapped in front of our boyfriends / husbands, or anyone else. I informed them that I've both peed and crapped in front of a lot of people, including my boyfriend, my brother and several of my male and female friends.
So, my one friend said that she hadn't been seen on the toilet by anyone since she was a little kid, until her honeymoon! She and her husband flew to Paris for their honeymoon. When they checked into the hotel (a super-fancy one, courtesy her Dad), she was at first thrilled by the room, then horrified to see that the bathroom was not seperated from the rest of the room, and the toilet was in full view. She was too embarrassed to say anything to the bellboy, or her new husband.
So, later that evening, after some relations (tee-hee), she had to take a dump. She said she had decided that this guy was her husband, she would be living with him forever, why should she be self-conscious being open with him about her bodily functions. So she said, "Look, I have to go to the bathroom." He said, "Would you like me to give you some privacy?" She said, "No, I just wanted you to know in case you're uncomfortable." He said, "I'm okay if you're okay."
She went over to the toilet and sat down. She said it took a lot of will to finally get it going, but once she started, her bowels moved easily and plopped into the water. While she was crapping, he asked her if she was really okay going to the bathroom in front of him. She said she wasn't sure she would be, but now she knew she was. After she finished crapping, they took a shower together.
She said ever since then, whenever she or he have had to use the toilet and the other is already in the bathroom, there's a mutual understanding that it's okay for them to just go. She said she almost never closes the bathroom door unless they have guests, or if she is going to have a noisy case of diarrhea. "I'll spare him that!" She said.
I thought it was a nice story. Figured I'd relay it to y'all. Speaking of crapping in front of people, I was in the bathroom last night with my boyfriend. He was brushing his teeth, I was taking a dump. I was making fun of the way his butt wiggled when he brushed. He started tickling me (I'm very ticklish). I laughed so hard that I farted and pooped out more shit than I thought I had, then I slipped off the toilet and my bare butt hit the floor. He caught a glimpse of my load in the toilet. "Whoa!" he said. I quickly got back on the toilet to block his view. "I don't like you to see my crap." He said, "I know, but I had no idea you could have dumps like that. It's HUGE!" I said, "If I can have a baby in me and squeeze it out my vagina, what makes you think I can't have that much shit in me and squeeze it out my ass?" He was quite impressed, but I would still prefer him not to see my poop. It's the only thing I'm still a bit self-conscious about.
Hope you're all doing good! Peace!
PRGfil
Ace: Could you elaborate on your 26 hour holding your piss? Did you do it deliberately? Or weren't you able to go (like in a hospital or on a trip?) Are you pee shy? How much did you do when you finally went? How long did it take to empty out? How often do you go everyday? What is a normal hold for you?
Luke
Ok, so like I just remembered when I was 17 and I was in high school one day. I had had pizza all week and my stomach was in such turmoil. I was farting all day one time and in weight training (gym) we had to do situps and I farted. Nobody heard it but it was a relief. After class, my day was over. At this time, all of a sudden, I had to go bad. I was holding my butt so the shit doesn't come out. Of course, not if anyone was around. I found a bathroom, but guys were smoking in there. The next one was three floors up. I flied up the stairs, pounded the door open and found a stall with urine on the seat. There are roaches there too, by the way. I stood up over the toilet and started crapping and wiped the seat with toilet paper at the same time. I didn't miss, thank God. Well, when I sat down the janitor came in and started sweeping cigarettes. I sat down and let out the biggest fart I ever laid. It was so loud, it echoed from afar and lasted for about 12 seconds! He ran out s! o fast, he didn't come back during the whole shit and left the dirt he was sweeping on the floor. I dropped about 7 hot dogs and a ton of little plops. I sat there 40 minutes and crapped so much it hurt. But, after that I felt great. I stunk up the joint though.
the "HOLD IT" man
Here's another little ditty for the poop fans here. For the past day and a half I was suffering from constipation, and I realy needed to have a bm. I started to get sick, so I took off early from work today and stopped at a drug store for an enema or supository that I could use, and they had nothing left except for these fleet supositories for children 2 - 5 yrs old. They weren't actualy supositories, but miniture enema syrenges with a tiny 4 mltr bule filled with water and glycerine. They were made by FLEET, and came 6 to a box. I figured I had nothing to lose but my poop, so I bought two boxes. The lady at the register looked at me like I was wierd or something.
Anyway, I got home, and I figured that since these were designed for small children, I was going to need a whold box of 6 just to help me out a little with the pushing. OOOOHHHHHHH how wrong I was! I inserted the first, squeezed the little bulb and immediately fealt a burning in my ass hole. Before it took effect, I inserted the 2nd, squeezed the bulb, and the burning got more intense. As I reached for the box again to insert a 3rd, the phone rang. I ran to answer it, and as I picked up the phone an urge to poop hit me. It was a telemarketer. I hung up on him, and while on my way back to the bathroom, the urge got so intense that I almost didn't make it to the toilet. My bowls ans stomach started to cramp, and out came a huge load of thick logs, one after another. I never crapped like that in my whole life. By the time I was done, I fealt as though I had lost 10 pounds. I was feeling nausious all day, and couldn't eat. By the time I was don with that crap, I! fealt so relieved that I was actualy ready to eat again. I did not want to risk constipation again so I went to McDonalds.
The truely unbelievable thing was how effected those little 4 mltr enemas were. Just imaging how an adult size would work. I have taken FLEET glycerine supositories for adults before in the past, but they were not nearly as effective as these baby enemas were.
Anyone else have a similar experience? I'm curious because I just can't believe how those two little baby things cleared me out the way they did.
Nasty
Hello ppl,
I;m not an American...I just need some clarification on the terms used in USA. What do u mean by wee wee.....(either taking a dump or piss)? Just also tell me the terms used for taking a piss & also taking a dump....thanx ...
italy
I have 15 years old,I'm Italian and I speak english only so-so, excuse my mistakes.
Last summer, i was in Toscana with my better friend Nicky.
We decided to go for a walk; we left our flat(used only on holydays)and went to countryside. While we were walking, my friend started to sweat: he was all red on face and I immediately asked him what was wrong.
He told me he didn't feel very well and he had to go to the toilet.
We were in a field without trees or stones and I told him to wait: we will return home. While we were returning, he started to cross his legs and he told me to stop. I asked why, but he answered me:"if I will do another step, I will poop my pants". We stayed there for about 5 minutes but after that we restart walking. After 3 minutes we saw a tree and I told him to go behind it and poop. He was frightened, but accepted and tried to go there. He did only 3 steps and immediatly stopped. He told me that he couldn't hold his poop, and he was near to burst. I told him that the tree was near him. He ran to the tree, but when he uncrossed his legs, an explosion of brown liquid diarrhea soaked completely his pants. He started to cry and I told him that accidents happened, and I will not tell anyone what happened that day.
If anybodyhave a story like this, plese send it to this message board, please.Bryian
To Vanessa: Liked your story....Im like eww...i wanna hear your 2nd story.
To I.P.Daily: cool story about your old girl friend.
To Doug: I liked your story.
To wetguy: Liked your stories...did you go follow that kid to the bathroom?
To TV Fan: That sounds cool about Celebrety Mole....cool about Farrah Fawcett too.
To Kelly: I do that sometimes.
I got a few stories to tell. First of all..
I went to bed early last around 11pm and about 3am i awokened to cramps and i knew i really had to poop. I saw it coming before i went to bed, cause i ate tuna fish and mac and cheese. For some reason it does that to me, don't know why. I sat down and pushed the hard turds out, had several of them and it really smelled too. Then after that i sat more and mushy soft stuff came out then im like im done so i wiped alot. and came down stairs for a bit then i decided to poop again be4 i went to sleep. I only had a little bit more come out, so then i wiped again and flushed and got into bed(i was cold at that time..brr) and about 15 minutes later i felt the need to poop more. It looked like the last time i had pooped. Then i wiped and went to sleep....
I awoke to 2 pooping dreams. I dreamed I was at this restaurant and we had gotten our food and the power went out. I saw one of the female workers go back to the bathroom and something was said about a BM so i know she was going for a BM at work. Then i heard another worker say to the boss that the girl who had to go BM got poop on her backside. It was something like that too. It was weird
Then i was dreaming something about watching my friend poop live on the net...he had a big soft log
When i got up i tried to see if i had to poop..nothing
1 more thing...last week in my e-mail i read somewhere where a lady was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom and her butt ended up getting stuck on the airplane toilet, she had to be freed when the flight landed..did any one here that?
Well g2g bye
Phil D. Grave
Hey. Fake name if you couldn't guess.
Well, this seems like the place to relay my most embarrassing moment. I told this to some friends at a party and one of them told me about this site and that I should tell it here.
When I was fifteen, my girlfriend and I were at an outdoor festival with my parents and my little sister. I had had a big burrito for lunch, and my mother had warned me about eating something like that from a cart. I ate it anyway. Major mistake. We had about an hour drive home, and about halfway there I started feeling really sick in my guts. I asked my Dad if we could stop so I could go to the bathroom and he said we'll be home soon. The pain became intense to the point that I was buckled over. My girlfriend was holding my hand and asking if I was okay. I was doing all I could to hold it, but the pressure got to be too much and I shit my pants.
I let out a very loud fart and in a matter of seconds my undershorts were filled with diarrhea. And it kept coming out in these little spurts. My sister yelled, "Eww, gross! Phil just pooped in his pants!" My girlfriend was a little more helpful and kept holding my hand and rubbing my back and saying "It's okay, It's okay." THe car stank horribly for the rest of the ride home. Everybody jumped out of the car and I waddled upstairs, with poop oozing don my legs. I got in the shower with my clothes on and stripped under the water. Almost all the shit went down the drain because it was so mushy.
After a half hour or so, I was clean and came downstirs. My girlfriend was embarrassed for me and had left. My MOm said, "What did I tell you bout those burritos." I said, "THanks, Dad. I so wanted my girlfriend to see me crap my pants." I didn't tlk to them the rest o the noght. My girlfriend clled later in the evening and asked if I was okay. I said yes and apologizd. She said, "Hey it happens." Of course, by the end of the week, my sister had told the whole school about it. THat's my story.fil
Ace: Could you elaborate on your 26 hour holding your piss? Did you do it deliberately? Or weren't you able to go (like in a hospital or on a trip?) Are you pee shy? How much did you do when you finally went? How long did it take to empty out? How often do you go everyday? What is a normal hold for you?Luke
Ok, so like I just remembered when I was 17 and I was in high school one day. I had had pizza all week and my stomach was in such turmoil. I was farting all day one time and in weight training (gym) we had to do situps and I farted. Nobody heard it but it was a relief. After class, my day was over. At this time, all of a sudden, I had to go bad. I was holding my butt so the shit doesn't come out. Of course, not if anyone was around. I found a bathroom, but guys were smoking in there. The next one was three floors up. I flied up the stairs, pounded the door open and found a stall with urine on the seat. There are roaches there too, by the way. I stood up over the toilet and started crapping and wiped the seat with toilet paper at the same time. I didn't miss, thank God. Well, when I sat down the janitor came in and started sweeping cigarettes. I sat down and let out the biggest fart I ever laid. It was so loud, it echoed from afar and lasted for about 12 seconds! He ran out s! o fast, he didn't come back during the whole shit and left the dirt he was sweeping on the floor. I dropped about 7 hot dogs and a ton of little plops. I sat there 40 minutes and crapped so much it hurt. But, after that I felt great. I stunk up the joint though.
jim
my little cousin is a wierdo, he always comes home from school with wet pants or a wet stain that has dried, he keeps peeing his pants, i dont know why he is doing it. my mom thinks its cause he doesnt live at home anymore. i dont know but i have to clean him up everytime, the other day we were out playing and he just started peeing his pants, then he said he had an accident. i told him its ok and i decided to pee mine to, and i just started going and my cousin was just looking at me and couldnt believe it. we played in our wet pants till they dried, mom never knew that i went cause we washed our clothes when we got in, she knows he has accidents so she just thought i was washing his clothes, he almost wears the same size as me, im a little bigger.
my mom told me today that she was going to by some pullups for him to wear. this would be cool cause i could wear them to. then i wouldnt be wet or poopy when i have accidents. well i will let you know, byFART LOVER
HOWDY EVERYONE! It's been a while since I posted, and man do I have some stories to tell since then. So many times I've pooped, pissed, and fart all in one year.(smile) Anyways, last week was a jim dandy of an accident. I was in my car driving home from work, when I had to pee really bad. So I got on the turnpike, going my usual route home; knowing that this route would take me home faster. Low and behold, I ran into bumper-to-bumper traffic. there wasn't a rest area in sight, nor was an off ramp close by. I sat in traffic for about a good 15 minutes, and 15 minutes is a long time when you really have to pee. By me being very gassy, didn't make it any better. Each time I would fart, I'd leak a little urine. The bottom of my stomach had that bloatted feeling, and my coochie would quiver when I thought about getting to a toilet and sitting down on it; letting this agrivating flood go. I looked around inside of my car, trying to find something to pee into; but there wasn't a th! ing. My face told my agony as I anxiously tried to find something to pee in. I know I was going to have an accident, and my car seats are cloth; it would be an nightmare. Since the traffic was at a stand still, I got out of my car and popped open the trunk; searching for anything to piss in. Incredibly enough, I found a empty bottle of detergent, that I forgot to throw away. The people in their cars, were watching me as I got back into my car with this detergent bottle. I didn't much care if they watched or not, because I had an emergency, and it had to be taken care of. I lifted my skirt and brought down my panties. A little urine leaked out as I mounted the bottle. As the car remain in park, and my coochie resting on the bottle, I let it go. My piss hissed right into the bottle, and my hand, and some onto my seat. Apparently, I didn't have it directly on my coochie. I couldn't stop the flow. At this point, it felt to good to stop. I left a small puddle of urine on the car! mate and on the edge of the car seat. There was very little inside of the bottle. At any rate, I was glad it was out. When I got home, I just threw away the mat, and scrubbed the seat with oxy clean. That did the trick.
Kelly, here are my answers to your little survey - I hope they're useful :)
1) What is the AVERAGE number of poops you do a day? Normally three, once in the morning when I get up, once in the afternoon around 3pm, and most days I need to go again before bedtime. Just in case you're interested, I usually spend around 20 minutes on the toilet each time. Depending on what mood I'm in, sometimes I'll try and save it all up for one long session, which usually takes me over half an hour, sometimes up to 45 minutes.
2) When you shit, what is the AVERAGE number of squares of tp you use? I don't know about individual squares, but on my normal days, I will usually pull the roll and wipe around 7 or 8 times. If I've saved up my usual three daily loads for a monster session, I need to wipe more times. Probably between 13 and 15.
3) When you wipe, do you ever reuse a portion of the paper you already wiped with? I do if I'm at home. However, if I'm having a bowel movement in a public toilet, I use a fresh pull of the roll for each wipe. Mostly because I like other people to hear me having to wipe alot. Especially if I've been in there for a very long time.
4) What is the most number of days you have ever gone without pooping? About 3 days, but only in extreme circumstances. Normally, my bowels are very active - see above!
5) Last question -- are you male or female? I'm female.
Hope that answers your questions, Kelly!
Poopmeister
Has anyone laughed so hard they wet themselves? And if so why?