Diva - I can relate to your latest post as I am also a soprano singer, and I have always experienced trouble with my bladder or stomach nerves during performances or auditions. I have two stories to share with you. Last spring I was perforing the soprano solo of Bach's Matthew's passion. I was very nervous as it was a great performance in an important church. And we did it without intermission! After about 30 minutes I felt a very strong urge to pee. It got worse and worse. And no way to leave the stage to go to the toilet! Like your story standing up to sing the arias was somewhat bearable, but sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting... I damned all the water I drank before the performance, and I finally I was in agony. I was sure I would pee my panties. I was almost unable to sing my last aria as I had to concentrate so much on my bladder. I just knew I'll have to hold it I was not wearing any pads so everybody would have seen a large puddle on the church floor - sham! e! These were my worst 3.5 hours of my life. Pee was hurting my abdomen like a fire. The worst was the final chorus. When the applause was over I intended to run to the toilet as far as I could, but I realised that each step was a horrible pain. Finally I made it to the toilet. I entered, lifted my gown and let it flow together with a big shout of relief. It was unimaginable. The pee
splashed into the toilet bowl and lasted exactly 5 minutes! It was the longest pee of my life, and I still don't understand how I could hold this amount of pee for more than 3 hours!
The second story I want to share with you is about an agency audition. It was my first audition for an opera agency, so I was quite embarrassed. I had some egg salad before the audition which must have a bad effect on me as on the train to the audition place I experienced some stomach cramps. I went to the toilet but just had a long pee. On the tram I got serious cramps and a strong urge to shit. I hold it as I knew I was near the audition place and could relieve myself there. While walking I was afraid of shitting myself. When I arrived there the first thing I asked the secretary was to use the bathroom. I barely made it and had a terrible explosion of liquid diarreah. Poop was splashing out of my ass continously for about 6 minutes. I left the bathroom and went to do my vocalises. I felt another wave of diarreah and quickly rushed back to the ladies' room to have another attack of diarreah. When I was about to sing my first aria in the audition I felt the next wave of ! diarreah coming. I almost shit myself during the aria but made it to the end. I knew I sang terribly with this feeling, but much to my surprise they asked a second aria. I knew that I was unable to sing anymore without shitting myself. I swallowed and tried to explain that I had to go to the bathroom first. I quickly ran to the bathroom and let out an even more watery blast of diarreah. Shit was pouring and pouring and pouring. I was unable to leave the bathroom for more than 20 minutes. Finally I was done and I realised that they were hearing other singers, so I left. I never heard from that agency again...
Diva, please let's share other stories about performances and auditions.
My longest fart? Well, I used to work in an office (in Southend) about 3 yrs ago, and one lunchtime I was going out on my break and I bent down to tighten my laces on my boots up. I thought no one was near so I dropped a massive fart - a real blaster! Very deep and very long - about 6 secs - and boy was it loud! It echoed round the office and was so strong it blew the tail of my black mini up! I had knicks and black tights on which helped - as the boss had just come out of his office! His comment? - "Thanks for that Rachel"! Talk about embarrassing.....
Hi STEVE & LOUISE -- I love you guys! That was an absolute sweet-spot, that standy-up in the bath with a virtual audience of many and a real audience of one! I remember the sound of a big stream "splooshing" into the water from a standing position, this comes back to me from being a little girl... I'd stand up to be soaped by my Mom, and I can now remember clear as a bell turning aideways to face down the bath and having a wee while she waited patiently. Not once but quite a few times, it must have been. She never told me I mustn't wee standing up, I do recall that. And I guess it wasn't all that accurate, probably a real splatter!
I really loved that little adventure, and I'll do more virtuals every chance I get. (Thanks for the applause Steve -- you're another I'd be honoured to "go" for, along with Jeff A, Rizzo, Robby, Kim's Scott... You're all such darn wonderful guys! Please do keep those adventures coming! And yes, Louise, this latest message of yours is #103 in my file!
SOMEKINDOFCHICK -- Au contrare -- there was evidence even a hundred years ago that the female bladder was larger than the male, and all the evidence I've seen so far seems to suggest that the female can hold more and longer than the male on average, and on absolutes as well... I'm nothing special but it turns out my bladder capacity is double that of some guys!
Ha ha ha, yes, I have tried something similar with pinching my foreskin shut as I urinated and then seeing what has happened as the pressure built up. I can't say that I ever attempted a small release in the way you had, and I'm sure that accuracy would be the big problem as you say. Personally, when I tried it, my foreskin balooned to an extent where containment of the urine was no longer possible, and it was expelled in an untidy deluge into the bathwater. Hmm, I might give it a go. Perhaps Louise is due for some male competition.
Also, your advice about spending time with Louise is just what I had in mind! Cheers!
To Jeff A,
In my last post, I had intended to comment on your presence in the bathroom while Denise was having an amazing dump, but in the end I forgot to do so. Denise does indeed sound gorgeous, and your description of the scene was very good and made me smile to think of it. It does sound from the light hearted way she invited comments from you that she was quietly enjoying your presence in the room at least as much as you liked to be there. I'd be interested to hear if any further bathroom sharing incidents take place, as she may well have decided she likes it. I wouldn't press the matter personally though, just leave it up to her to issue an invitation in whatever form she chooses. Best Wishes for that.
Whatever you do, my friend, don't miss Louise's post from today, it's a very good one.
Great post from Louise today, an absolute Louise classic. She becomes more of a minx every day.
DEAR RIZZO - Hi guy! Well I went to try and have a wee in
a urinal in that men's room today and I nearly got caught
by this guy I do not know. I was in my smart clothes,
and I went in because there was nobody about and the room
had no-one in it. Well I reached under my skirt and I took
off my small high cut black knickers and I lifted my skirt
right up and stood over the middle urinal. I like that one.
I did need a good wee and I felt like it would be a big
one. Well I did not use my fingers to aim, I just stood
there and let rip. I started pissing and my stream was
a sheet like Steve likes to call it. I moved my hips about
to chase the little blue tablet about at the bottom of
the urinal. LOL Well when I finished I got some toilet
paper from a stall and I wiped and through it in the
waste basket. I was going to wash my hands and I heard
somebody walking out in the corridor and the steps got
louder. Well I went in one of the 2 stalls and shut the
door. I did not even have my knickers back on yet!
I thought it was very exciting and daring to be there
because through the crack in the door I saw this guy come
in and he stood over the end urinal. I wish I could have
seen him from the side and watched him have his wee, but
I could only see his bum. He soon stopped weeing and
he shook his dick a lot LOL. Well then he washed his hands
because I could hear the water and then I heard the door
open and close so I knew he had gone. I came out and washed
my hands. My shoes made a lot more noise on the floor
than his did. LOL I went out of the men's room ad when I
got back to my desk a bit later and sat down I realised I
had not put my knickers back on. LOL I still had them in
my jacket pocket and my skirt was a bit short. I had
to be careful until I could get to the ladies to put my
knickers back on again.
Was I enough of a bad girl for you?
Love Louise xxxxx
RING STRETCHER - Yeah I have watched myself in a mirror
having a shit before but I had not done it for ages. I
really liked watching my log squeeze out. I had the sort
of view Steve has. I like watching myself have a wee as
well, do you do that?
JEFF A - Hi! I just had a small shit this morning. I got
out of bed and I was naked in the bathroom and I hovered
my bum over the toilet. I had my mirrors there and I
started with having a huge yellow wee. I could see my
stream coming out of my pussy from behind and I bet you
would have liked to see that. Well when I had done it and
my puss was just going drip drip drip, I started pushing
out my shit. I looked at my bumhole in the mirror and a
few little lumps popped out of it and plopped in the water.
Then there was a bigger lump that opened up my bumhole a
lot more. I pushed until my bumhole was stretching around
the shape of this bigger brown turd. I looked at how my
ring was tight around it. Then I pushed it a little bit
more and it plopped out of me and really hit the bottom
of the toilet hard. LOL Well I wiped by pussy and my
bumhole and then I stepped in the shower.
You were there in my virtual audience.
Love Louise xxxxx
PV - Hi girl! Hey I nearly got caught in the men's today.
What would that guy have thought if he had seen me in
front of the urinal with a bare bum? LOL
Well this morning in my virtual audience I had Jeff A,
Rizzo, Robby, Scott, Andrew, Jake and Steve. You were
looking around the door with my mum! LOL
Sarah S and Meghan
FREE AT LAST!!! Finals are over and we are home for the holidays. We hope our college school friends on the forum; Ephermal, Meredith, Kim, and the others have survived the rush! The 5 memorable places both of us have peed;
1. Squatting in an open field with other females and males during a frat party.
2, In an alley or close in the town of Southampton, UK.(VERY desperate!)
3. Hanging our asses off Annie's boat with it pitching to and fro.
4. Peeing off the top of a wall on to a couple of obnoxious guys.(We survived, hehe)!
5. Running across a field in Wyoming with our jeans around our ankles, pee running down our legs and a moose breathing down our necks.( Thank God for Dad and the park ranger)!
DEAR RIZZO: It is wonderful to see you back. We are ready for the concert, we think. We will practice during the holidays. We with you could be with us. Meghan- I am off pizzas!!! I told Sarah I can't eat them anymore. Yes, Dad was right. Squitting. That is a new word we can use on our American friends. Thank you for your advice. We had to laugh at the story you told about fleeing the wasps. We know that is a painful memory. We could imagine your poor little willie flopping in the breeze. Someday we will tell you about the moose. Being a cello player and a piano player we can't make music on the toilet(except for the trumps). It was a wonderful thing you did for Jeff A. We hope you and your wife are doing well. You are a dear man. Take care. Love from Meghan and Sarah S.
DEAR STEVE AND LOUISE: That was a marvelous standup pee performance you put on for Steve, Louise!! Of course, we couldn't have done it. We haven't had any practice for the peeing contest. We are still a little embarrased about that. We read that Annie held Dad's willie while he peed. We will let Dad or Annie tell you about the foreskin and all that(BLUSH!!!!!!) Oh yes, Meghan plays volleyball and I have played soccer for my private school and while I was an undergraduate in college. Love from Sarah S and Meghan
KIM AND(SCOTT): Man, that was a HUGE log you pushed out. I nearly beat you this last week. I don't shit that much regularly. For a small girl that must be a challenge. You accomplished it very nicely. I was a cheerleader and played soccer in highschool. When all of girls were shitting at once it was something else. Real stinky, too!. I am in law school so I don't play anymore. Take care, both of you! Sarah S and Meghan
JANE: Hi!! You should have heard those college girls take a dump. I bet they would have beaten you in stinking up the room. Enjoyed the story. take care, Sarah S and Meghan
RJOGGER AND KATHY: Sarah and I would never let a guy see us take a dump out in the wild. We try to run every morning. We run 2-3 miles. We have had to pee off the side of the track but not shit. We guess we're still new at this and will have to loosen up a bit more. Noreen must be a neat friend. We are looking forward to your future stories. Take care, Meghan and Sarah S
MEREDITH: That was a nice dump you had. We have had those kinds in the past weeks. Hope you are through with school. Let us know how you did( in the classroom and the toilet) Take care, Sarah S and Meghan
KIM(new poster): We had that problem at the start of our college years. We are glad you found a potty friend in Michelle. It helps if you have someone that understands. Hope your husband comes through. Take care, Meghan and Sarah S
DIVA: Meghan- Hi there! Yes, that was a miserable time. I know what you felt. Our Dad, Robby, sang opera and concerts all over the world until he went into semi-retirement 2 years ago. He had all sorts of stories about peeing accidents, singers running to the toilet, etc. He still does occasional engagements. It looks like you are getting off to a great start on a career. My experience is that I have a small bladder. It happens to Sarah, too. Well, good luck and glad you are here. Take care, Meghan and Sarah S
PV: We couldn't forget you! Sorry everything is soggy in Aus. We have to start practicing in the shower. It seems Annie has already started. Take care, Love, Sarah S and Meghan
EPHERMAL: Hope you are finished with school!! We have been having big dumps, too! Talk to ya, later! Meghan and Sarah S
NURSE CARMALITA: We love you, too. Dad is taking care of himself. Really enjoyed the chocky story. Also the log left in the water was a killer!!! Give our best to Jake, Pat, Renee and your other friends. Love from Sarah S and Meghan
LINDAGS: When we were in school we could wear, white, green or black panties. NO patterns. Also the nuns were very vigilant in the toilets. We couldn't have a pee or a dump without a nun staring at us, LOL! We loved them, though. Talk to you later, gal! Meghan and Sarah S
JEFF A: Our thoughts are with you. We remember our first Christmas without Mother. Take care, Love, Sarah S and Meghan
DEAR COUSINS KENDAL AND ANDREW: Meghan- We finally get to our dear cousins. It has been a dreadful week. We had final exams and our toilet habits got out of whack. We had really large, cullompted poos. Sarah, especially. Kendal, you would have had to pull your shirt over your nose!! I had a large poo and a triple trump this morning. Sarah was repulsed! Sarah- Andrew, I guess you stunk out Kendal when you had your morning poo,haha. What do you read when you sit down? Meghan reads people magazine and I read school notes or any ole mag. We have never seen any guy's bits when he was on the toilet. We went to a frat party and all sorts of guys were peeing around us. Their willies hanging out! Oh well, we won't go on. Now then, as young people we want to tell you that Annie was right. We don't know if we will share our toilet exploits with our "real world" friends or partners. We haven't sorted that out, yet. This forum is our "opening". It will be up to you. We will help yo! u all we can. Your Uncle Rizzo is a great help to us, too. Well, we will have a story for you next time. Hope both of you did well on your exams and are looking forward to Christmas. We will speak on that next time!! By-the-way, did Ellie and Little Lou ever tell you what part of England they were from? Many Kissesxxxxxxxx and Hugs!!!!! Cousins Meghan and Sarah S
This post is LONG so a special hello to ALL of our other friends here!!!
MAY YOUR POOS AND WEES BE EASY ONES!! Sarah S and Meghan
Friday, December 14, 2001
top 5 interesting places i have peed
1. in a urinal in the mens room
2. in a park bathroom (the city park that has the chidlren's jungle gym and such)
3. on the sand at the beach (out of water)
4. in my friend's bathroom with her and her daughter looking at me
5. in my cousin's panties (i was younger and i slept over her house withought taking any clothes with me)
hi my name is kim, I was always shy about using the toilet in front
of someone I didnt know , this is only pertaining to girls, when I was in college I made friends with a girl named michelle , she was a very attractive girl as i was myself, well we landed up being roomates together in college thats how we met , but I never felt comfortable about using the toilet in front of someone , peeing was hard enough but i managed most of the time , one eventful morning this all changed
I hadnt gone Poo in about three days and I was to the point that I needed to go badly and It was starting to hurt, I waited till my other roomies left and then I went in to the bathroom , the bathroom in our dorm was differently configured from others, we shared 1 bathroom with 4 other girls and we had two toilets side by side with a small wall/partition and the wall didnt go higher than 3 ft , It was really akward and gave you no privacy at all since there were no doors either.
I was horrified with this because I was a person who liked to have complete privacy when I would poo , I have pooped in front of two other people my sister and my mother, my mom was very natural and graceful about it when she had to poop and would only let me and my sister in the bathroom when she was on the toilet , my mother made us feel comfortable about the process and explained that it was a natural thing , my mother would go poo with us when we were potty training
she used the adult toilet and we used the potty chairs, she would read to us and make it an enjoyable event.
Previously at college I had waited to poo by going to the toilets by my first class and using a full stall "the way it should be" still not as private as I liked it to be . I have always been a morning pooper.
since i like to eat a large meal at night with friends.
well I was undoing my pants and had pulled my panties down to my ankles sat down and commenced with a push and started to let it half way out when michelle walked in , I didnt even hear the door open or shut , I sat there so embarrased , Michelle looked at me momentarily and said hi and walked over to the next toilet and undid her jeans and pulled down her panties exposing her bum cheeks and sat down and started to pee.
she started to sigh a noise of relief , when the monster potruding from my bowel broke off and made a splash in the bowl , and it was a stinky
one of sorts , i smelt it and so did michelle, she made a smile and said whooooo what did you eat !!!!!.
At this point I started to relax and but was still a bit exicited . I pinched off some more and farted a bit and made the old plop sound but It felt so gooooood.......
michelle made a few splashes her self not as noisy , But i new she was pooping a load too , she exclaimed that she usually poops after second class but It was so hard to hold her morning dump until after her first class and some times she had do the squeezecheekin method to make it back , turns out she hated using the bathroom by class, too busy , too smelly, some girls never flush as weve all found out, and its like some guy went in there and pee'd on the seat... gross!!!
I had to grunt and strain a few times but so did michelle and while we talked and joked we continued our pooping and and took our time
i noticed when michelle was done she leaned forward to wipe , while since I wipe between my legs it takes me a few more time s to get it all, But I wipe thoroughly , as I got up I took a look at my results , astonished as I new it was large It was the largest I ve ever pooped Im not a big girl but I do take big poops on occaision , but it was massive , not like the disgusting tricks my brother would pull on me and my sister and leave a huge log in the toiletbowl to gross us out .
all of the sudden michelle peered over and commented your definetly healthy girl , I havent made a poo that big in a while "wow", I was kind of embarrased but she laughed it off so did I ,
me and michelle on occasion would meet in the bathroom for our
"potty poo" sessions as we called them , our other roomies thought we were strange , oh well it was my way of relaxing with a body function , It made it easier to poo in front of my husband in the later years as I think he's turned on when I do , but he still wont in front of me ,
at least not yet, well have a good poo, and happy pooing to every one out there , Love kim.....
Reading Meghan's story of having to go while she was playing the cello mad eme think of some of the times I've had to go in rehearsal or performance. Oratorio & concert work is so much harder than opera & musical theatre because you can't move around or leave the stage, but have to sit or stand very still. It doesn't help that they put water under your chair, which I always drink in addition to all the other water I have leading up to a performance. I remember doing my first Creation and about halfway through the first half, I had to pee like a racehorse! I was sitting down, and I remember twisting my back a little so that I could push my bladder down into my chair and relieve the pressure. I was trying not to squirm around a lot so that the audience could tell what was wrong. When I stood up to sing, I felt the pressure so much that I almost peed my pants then and there but somehow I used willpower to squeeze it back. As I did my aria, I was less conscious of the n eed because I was focusing on my singing, but it was still there. As soon as intermission came and we had exited the stage, I shot off to the bathroom. As we were walking off and I was walking slowly and esaggeratedly pulling my legs over my crotch under my gown trying to hold it in, The alto soloist (who had basically nothing to do but sit there the whole time and then do one tiny ensemble, so I guess she was looking closely at me)said to me "you have to pee pretty bad, huh?" so I guess she could tell - I hope no-one else could. I ran to my dressing room and hit the toilet, but as I opened the door my bladder got excited and started to spill. I rushed in and it wouldn't stop so I had to crumple up my fancy taffeta gown to hold myself as I ran to the toilet (luckily I was not sharing a dressing room.) I was wriggling and jumping around as I lifted my gown and lowered my panties, peeing myself the whole time. By the time I sat down, my panties were soaked, and I still had at least 2 minutes of hissing pee left, I was so desperate. Worse, I realized that I had not lifted all of my gown out of the way in my big rush, and it got soaked with pee and the water in the toilet. I didn't know what to do. I had brought another gown there so I could decide which one to wear, but I thought it would be weird to wear a different one for the second half. So I took my gown off, gently sponged it off in the sink, blotted it dry with paper towels and ironed it with my iron to get out the creases. This took almost the whole intermission and it was still a bit damp. I had to pee again by then and I had the feeling that I still would have to in the second half, so I got three maxi pads from the dispenser and put them on stacked on top of each other (my gown was full so it ddn't show.) Well, good thing. I had to go even more urgently in the second half and in order to be able to stand still and sing, I had to keep letting squirts out when I was sitting (done very car efully in case it all came out.) After the performance, I could feel the pads were soaked and I still had to go really bad. But when I got backstage, there were a bunch of people wanting to talk to me - an old teacher, an arts reporter and some manager who was interested in hiring me. I wanted to say "Just let me run to the bathroom and then I'll talk to you", but I didn't. I sat down in a chair, crossed my legs hard (looks weird in a full gown) and chatted to them, feeling more and more urine leak out every minute. I was worried it was going to run down my leg when they finally let me go. Then my boyfriend showed up. I walked with him to my room, telling him how bad I had to pee. When we got there, he opened the door and I fled to the toilet. I asked him to hold my gown out of the way so it wouldn't get soaked again. (This was the first time he saw me pee and I didn't care, I was so urgent.) It was another long hisser, and I was sighing with relief, and he said, "Boy, you R EALLY had to go, didn't you?" Some singers I know use Depends, and I've tried but somehow the feel or thought of it throws me off when I'm trying to be a sexy divaand I hate being wet even in a diaper.
I had a bad/nice experience today at the ice skating rink. I walked in and took off my shoes to go on the line to get the ice skates. Just when i was going to the line i had to poop so badly i felt it coming out so i ran to the bathroom, in my socks. My sister was there so i didn't have to worry about my stuff. She could watch her shoes and mine too. Anyway, the bathroom isn't really what most people would consider "clean". I had to go so i ran into the closest stall and sat down. I didn't realize it right away but i was sitting on a dirty toilet with pee still in it. As the first "log" hit the water, pee splashed all over my ass. It felt kinda wierd and nice having piss splash on my ass every time the poop hit the water. I kept pooping for about 5 min. When i got up i could see that i was the first person to sit there in a long time. There was an outline of my ass on the seat. I wanted to flush the toilet but it wouldn't flush! I just left it and went to wash my hands. I then remembered that i was walking around in my socks. I felt a awkward being in the bathroom in my socks, even though the floor there is the same as where the line is. But i felt comforted when I saw 3 teenage girls standing there in thier socks. I don't think i'll ever go back to that bathroom again because the toilet wouldn't flus, i feel sorry for whoever goes into that stall next! My panties got wet from that piss and my socks got wet too from piss that was on the floor and from puddles of water outside. All you women out there that don't sit on the toilets, please do. You can clean your ass later. If you don't sit on it, dust will accumulate and it will be dirty for people who do sit, and you might miss the toilet and piss on the floor getting people's socks wet. Not that people go to the bathroom in thier socks everywhere, but i've seen kids in McDonalds and Burger King go to the bathroom in thier socks and now in the ice skating rink. I don't recomend doing that but! in my case it was an emergency!
to the unknown poster guys can hold it longer than girls. it is because they have a larger blader than females do. this is not true for everyone but is true in most cases
I think Amanda asked about pushing so hard when pooping that you're sick. This has never happened to me but it has the other way around when I was about 10. Bent over the toilet once when I was ill I released a load of liquid poo into my pj trousers.
Quick story here. Yesterday I was on another site visit, and I had a lingering urge to poop that intensified as I was driving back to my home office. I was passing the hotel where Rachel and I spent a week in a seminar in the summer. I was familiar with the ladies room and decided to stop by the hotel. I hurried to the ladies room. As I went in, I saw three young women at the sinks who appeared to be college age. They were either washing their hands or doing their makeup.
I went into a stall, pulled up my skirt and pulled down my pantyhose and panties and sat. I pushed out a series of very soft thick pieces of poop that came out like soft serve ice cream. Soon the bowl was filled and a strong poop smell began to emerge. I flushed the toilet while seated. The three girls were still at the sink, but the poop smell had just reached them. They started to gasp, and one of them said, "Man, she's taking one nasty shit!" Another one said, "Oh yeah, I bet not as nasty as some of the ones you have taken." At that point they left, leaving me alone as I continued to move my bowels. I continued to push out soft pieces of poop and flushed the toilet while seated once more before I was done. I flushed the toilet a final time and left just a lingering poop smell. I felt much better after that.
Quick hello to everyone.
I Think what you said about holding capacity sounds accurate.Since a girl has a larger reproductive system it's possible that there would be less room for a large bladder.Also about girls being able to hold #2 longer probably would make sense.If girls are used to sitting to do both#1 and#2 then when sitting the body wouldn't feel like it has a specific one to do.A guy is probably more conditioned to expect to poo when sitting/squatting as most guys pee standing.I've tried to pee sitting to see if I could hold in a #2 but I couldn't.Even if I only felt like a #2 as soon as I sit on the tiolet I feel like a #2 and sometimes I can't pee when I get this feeling.I think going to the bathroom would be a major problem for me if I were a girl.Perhaps it is also hormonal.Alot more girls in my school ask to go to the bathroom than guys.My teacher didn't let some go and they said they wished he could be a girl for a month lol.I think it'd be cool to be a girl even if it was just fo! r a day.I think perhaps it'd be good if everyone could experience life as the opposite gender even if only for a little while as it would probably help to end the rift between the sexes.I feel sorry for girls who have to use dirty tiolets and wait on long lines to go to the bathroom.Has anyone here ever used a unisex bathroom or would if given the chance?Does anyone here Think they'd be a good idea.THey have them in other countries I hear and it's worked well.
I'm glad to have a little more time today to post.
I hope your constipation isn't bothering you too much, sweetheart. Sorry I couldn't be around to post my best wishes for your 20th birthday, but I hope you had a good time.
(Applause) Well done with your virtual audience. You posted a marvellous description of the scene, and from that it was very easy for me to construct an accurate mental picture. It was exactly the sort of thing I had in mind when I suggested it to you.
Louise has not allowed me a sneak preview of what she has posted today, but I expect it will contain something on the bathtime surprise she had in store for me yesterday when I arrived home. Anyway, just in case she said nothing about it, I'll describe what happened.
I entered the house and closed the door behind me and put my bag down in the hall. I was feeling worn out, and all I really wanted to do was flop down in a chair. Glancing upstairs I could see the bathroom door was slightly ajar, and I could hear Louise splashing about in the bath. I shouted a greeting, and she replied and said she wanted to see me. Climbing the stairs and going through the bathroom doorway, Louise stood in the bath, water dripping from her body. Obviously imagining she had a larger audience than just myself, she asked the needless question of if I wanted to see her have a wee. I can't remember her exact words, just the mischievous smile she had on her face.
"Yes, please!" came my reply.
Then she asked if I (we) wanted her to urinate standing.
"Oh yeah!" I responded.
"Her it comes! Are you watching?" she announced quietly.
Standing with her her hands resting on her hips, she looked down between her legs as she stood in the bath with her feet around two feet apart. A brief splutter, then an inch wide sheet of urine erupted from her genitals, the stream hitting the bathwater noisily. I'm not sure how long it lasted but it took a while before it started to ease off.
When she was finally done she asked me (us) if I (we) enjoyed that, chuckling to herself. It was certainly very entertaining, and I'm afraid I have to censor the rest of the story.
To Robby, Annie and Family,
Annie, sounds like you are in training for the contest. I can indeed remember the first time Louise aimed my penis for me when I urinated. It did cause her to have a fit of giggles and to blush, as it was a very new and really very intimate experience for her, but it was also very funny for us both as well.
Take care, all of you, and I'll talk to you again soon.
Great story, that last one. I'm wondering if you are some competition for Louise, the way you described unleashing such a fierce urine stream. I think you're right - Jake sounds like a cool guy. Reckon we'd have a few things to talk about.
Long may you continue to enjoy your married life, and if you have any more pee stories, please tell 'em. Great stuff!
To Jeff A,
I've missed out on too many of Louise's latest lavatorial adventures due to my absences, but I'm glad she is at least telling you all about them, and they are not going to waste. Louise most certainly does turn heads. She is very beautiful in every way. When I first spoke to her, I soon realised that I had met a very special person. She has good, strong character and can brighten any room with her infectious smiles. I found it very, very, very easy to fall in love with her. Ha ha, last week, just at the end of an Aikido class I had taken, the head instructor commented, "You're looking tired, Steve".
After glancing at Louise, who smiled brightly at him, he added, "I don't blame you".
Yep, the wedding is only just over six months away now. Thanks very much for your good wishes, we do both appreciate them.
Thanks also for setting me straight in another way. You are correct - it is always better to clear the mind and go with the flow. My recent thinking has been somewhat clouded due to fatigue, I reckon.
The Boy K and Boy W episode is something that has always stuck firmly in my mind. The quote from Boy W commenting on Boy K's catastrophic excretion while sitting on the chair is exactly correct word for word. It is just so memorable, and I collapse into laughter whenever I think of it.
"SEE THAT?? THAT'S SHIT!!!"
Absolutely priceless. Young kids can utter complete gems at times, and Boy W's very brief but informative lecture on bodily waste has to be top of the pile as far as I'm concerned. Unless other posters know better... <snicker>
So that was peach juice in that puddle around your feet in 1st grade, was it? Sure... <snicker>
I can't remember having any accidents myself when I was at school, but I came extremely close to wetting myself when on a school trip to a wildfowl reserve when I was 10. I wasn't really paying much attention to my surroundings due to my tortured bladder, and when I had the opportunity, I asked the young (and very attractive I might add) lady teacher if I could go to the toilet. She told me to go outside in the bushes. So out I went, walking very carefully. I could see the bushes, and OH NO, there were two women standing in view talking. Taking great care, I walked a little further so I was just out of sight. With extreme caution, I extracted my penis from my trousers and as soon as I could hold it steady I let go. Instantly there was a huge fountain squirting from the tip of my penis. You can probably guess what happened next. The women came into view, strolling around the bushes and saw me in full flow, enjoying a by now extremely pleasurable urination, pissing what mu! st have been superb flow for a young boy.
"Oh" I think one of them said, and tried to ignore me. "Whoops", I thought.
To add to that, the attractive lady teacher in charge emerged from the nearby building we had been in, and started padding around, obviously concerned for my welfare but recognisant of the possibility she might see me doing something she shouldn't really be seeing. When she saw me, there was nothing I could do about it. My penis was on full view, still squirting the last few millilitres of the best urination I'd ever had.
"Whoops again", I thought <snicker>.
your name (Russ)
Hi you lovely people, I went to my Dr. the other day for a blood pressure check, and I mentioned to him,I was having problem with regular bowel movements lately, he told me to take my pants and underpants off and slide to the end of the exam table and bend my legs and spread them for him, he wanted to check my rectum for a minute. So I lay on the table and he got a gloved finger and lubed it a little and inserted in my anus slowly,of course I was thinking it felt good to feel his finger and got a erection,he said not to worry it happens lots of times with other men also. He felt in my rectum and my prostate a little bit,he said it felt ok,he was going to give me a enema and get a stool sample too. He asked me to bear down a little bit and sure enough a small bit of feces dropped from my anus into a bag he had next to my anus when it dropped out. Then he gave me a small enema that was not a lot of water but did clean out my rectum also. It felt good and I filled up with water! , and he told me to use the toilet and also give him a urine sample in the cup. I sat on the toilet and felt some relief and some big feces pieces drop out and I felt better then, I had to wait until my penis was relaxed before I could give him a urine sample,I actually did it for him on the side of the exam table after using the toilet. I filled the cup and he gave me a urinal to use for the rest since I had had a lot of water and a beer earlier. So he said he would study the stool sample and urine and see if any problem show anywere. He suggested I keep a log for him of when and how my bowel movement are each day so he could tell if there are any recurring problems. So I am doing that and had a pretty good BM earlier tonight and felt pretty good. So I will let you all know what developes here. take care and keep posting everybody,love the messages everyday. Russ.
Ok, friends, here are the five most memorable places I have peed:
1) During a starry night peeing from the deck of my boat into a sea full of plankton. The resulting marine phosphorescence was just wonderful to behold.
2) Into the slot of a centre-board case of a sailing dinghy while surrounded by other boats.
3) Out of a window on the first floor
4) At night together with others from the top of a roof
5) And here is the most unpleasant place I have peed into:
I must have been about five years old. At the end of the garden among some beech trees and behind some undergrowth I found a small hole in the ground. The interesting thing were the wasps coming out of the hole to fly away, and others coming back to land and disappear down the hole. After watching some time I felt the urge to pee. So had had the great idea of pulling my blue shorts to one side to get out my little willie and to let my pee stream fly down that hole! Immediately some wasps started to try to come out of their lair, but I managed to drench them with pee. They crawled about trying to shake themselves dry and to take off again, but I kept them grounded. The trouble began when incoming wasps started to land. I had to keep them grounded too. This meant that I had to keep more and more wasps covered! Then my bladder started to empty, my piss flak was running out of ammo, so to speak! And that was the moment when the wasps launched their counter attack! They came ! for me like Kamikaze! A searing pain at the back of my neck let me drop my willie and run off through the undergrowth towards our house, leaves and twigs whipping my face, in a vain attempt to escape the wasps’ revenge. I made it into the house slamming the entrance door behind me, and thus successfully foiling any further attacks. My mum appeared and took me to the bathroom and undressed me to see the damage. It could have been worse: due to the pain in my neck I had not felt that I had about three more stings on my right thigh, and that one wasp had entered my shorts and stung me on my left bum cheek. An onion was cut in half and applied to the stings: an old remedy to cool and to neutralize the poison.
I do not recommend anyone to try this.
Hi dear Sarah S., hello dear Meghan! So it will be the Air in G by Bach that I shall be looking forward to! Now from Bach back to our topic: Bach means stream or brook in German. The diminutive is “Bächlein“ (Ha! I got those two little dots on the “a” by switching the keybord to German!) During my travels I once overheard a woman in Germany say to her companion: “ Ich muss mal ein Bächlein machen!“ Literally meaning: I need to make a little stream; which seems to be an acceptable way to say that she needed a wee.
And Meghan, you should know be now that pizza does not mix with work under stress! Robby was certainly right with his “I told you so!” The attack of the squitters drains your body of minerals; it may be an easy way to eat something in a hurry, but it is not worth it. Try to stay healthy for your tests! Love to you both from Rizzo.
Dear Jeff A., my thoughts were with you on the eleventh. To be able to post that I played a piece called “Consolation” for you on my flute, I took the instrument to the bathroom and played while sitting on the toilet! I must say that the breathing technique involved helped the turds on their way out! I have never tried that before! Love to you dear friend from Rizzo.
Hi Steve, you know, I had always feared a peeing contest against such peeing prowess as Louise’s! But I have found out a little trick! I am probably the millionth to find this. I must first say that I am not circumcised. So if I pinch my foreskin shut when I let go the pee, the foreskin will start to balloon out as soon as the pressure builds. The trick is to let go just a little at one corner, so that a thin stream jets out! The thinness of the stream ads to the exit velocity so that I end up peeing much farther than usual! It needs practice though! The first time I tried this my stream hit me in my left eye! Hey, don’t overwork yourself! Relax in Louise’s arms! Cheers to you from Rizzo!
Amazon, you are probably not allergic to cyprus. There is a cyprus tree which contains thuja oil in its sap. This is poisonous. You felt its effect in a most sensitive place. But it was a good story nonetheless!! Cheers to you too from Rizzo.
Jasta, how on earth did you both manage to poop on the same toilet without anything hitting the floor? Did you sit on your partners lap and let your logs drop between his legs? Or did you somehow squeeze your logs into the toilet sitting side by side? I wonder!
Dear Silke! That must have been difficult to go back to your car later with all those puddles and turds between the parked cars! I’d say it must have been as bad as a minefield! You step on one, get shit on the sole of your shoe which then rubs off on to the accelerator, brake and clutch pedals and you are sure to have a toilety aroma in your jalopy for quite a while! All the same, I would love to have been with you to enjoy the sights and to join in the fun!! It might be a good idea to wear gum boots!! Cheers, and many thanks for your wonderful story, from Rizzo!
Hi Louise, I am glad that you are not a good girl yet! So there will be many wild pee stories to come! Keep ‘em coming! Cheers to you from Rizzo.
Lawn Dogs Kid, hi friend! I must admit that I have seen a lot of peeing and pooing action, but this was spread over a long time. Ok, Ok, I admit some of my stories may be a bit unusual, but I have led an unusual life compared to many people I know! But just look at your posts! All those wees and poos with that bevy of lovely girls you are sometimes surrounded with, and this within a short space of time! Yes, you are a very lucky guy! I keep my fingers crossed for when you sit for your end of term tests! Or don’t you have these any more? Love to you from Rizzo!
Kendal, dear niece, as long as you and Andrew can tease each other and laugh about it, then that is just fine!
You might get less posts from me, because I am very busy at the moment writing Christmas cards. But then you now have a large family here to fill the gaps. Even Linda GS posted to you! And a very funny post it is too! So, my dear, here is your scratchy hug from your Uncle Rizzo!
Amanda, I never threw up while straining to poop, but I pooped while straining to throw up! But that is a story I will tell some time in future.
Tailwagger, laying a turd into a school desk! You sure are a prankster to have done that! Your story really made me laugh! Why? Because I never liked school, although I always had excellent reports.
Renee dear, that was a really good story of yours describing Carmalita in action! Did I laugh at the stain in the bed turning out to be the result of a squashed bar of chocolate? My sides still hurt! She shouldn’t drink that much tequila! Hey, give you a hug! Rizzo.
That’s it. Hellos to Ring Stretcher who laid a base ball bat like turd, Kim with another monster in the bowl, Los who only just made it by a hair’s breadth and all others who I have failed to mention, but whose stories I welcome, from Rizzo
LOUISE: Very cool story about pooping while watching with a mirror. It's fun, isn't it?
KIM: Girl, I know the feeling of passing a turd so thick you swear your ring is tearing! An excellent dump story! Take care!
AMANDA: I never vomited from straining so hard to poop but something else has happened *wink*!!!
MEREDITH: How big was that log you passed in the restroom? It sounded like alot of work!
I took another big dump today, but my ass was so itchy that the firm log rubing against my stretched ring felt f???ing fantastic!!!
To your name (Russ): I liked your story about giving your friend an enema.
To steve: I loved both of your stories...cool experience with your friends brother.
To kim and scott: I really liked your story about dropping that huge log!
To Aaron: I was just wondering.... do you ever shit at school or other public places and also where are you from and how old are you?
Today i went to this mall and it's about 15 years old and it's not really popular and several times i had to pee so i go to the mens room and pee in the toilet. I notice that the main bathroom has 2 stalls and in the middle there are 2 or 3 holes where you can sorta peek through. I didn't see any thing(there was a guy taking a crap next to me). Then i go in sears and that bathroom has 3-4 stalls and i pee and then i check the stalls out and the first stall had a bit of loose and small pieces of shit in the toilet. I thought maybe some kid had left it(did see some kids there...even though it was a school day. Then i wash up and some guy maybe in his low to mid 20's comes in and takes the middle stall so i decided to act like i was shitting so i took the stall next to him. His dump was gassy and smelly. Then he left(he flushed) and i checked his stall out and there was a small piece of poop in the bowl that didn't get quite flushed all the way. Then i went home
What's the loudest and longest fart you've ever fired?
I let a beauty out last week and it lasted about 5-8 secs!
I tell you, there is nothing worse than living at a place where the toilet can't handle your dumps. Every other day I must either take what little joy I got while moving my bowels by making sure I pinch in small logs, or travel far to another toilet. The only thing that can cheer me up is the beautiful Nubian goddess taking a dump in a bucket on the masthead. She looks like Lela Rochon.
Interesting places I have peed:
5. Outside (woods)
3. Women's restroom (when I was younger)
1. Garden in front of my house at night, just to be daring
ROBBY AND ANNIE - Hi! I often wee around a minute and a half
or maybe it will be a bit less if I wee a really big gusher.
I think it is best to be really needing a wee when having a
peeing contest. When you do it, wipe yourself before you wee.
I forgot to do that the last time and my fingers slipped and
spoiled my aim.
I do play netball, yeahand we do get a bit silly with our
weeing sometimes but it is a lot of fun.
LOL yeah I bet you had fun holding Robby's willy when he was
weeing. It makes me giggle if Steve fires little squirts of
wee at the end.
Love Louise xx
KIM AND SCOTT - Hi girl! Hey maybe that Total Cereal stuff is
the secret of your big logs. Me, I like my Cornflakes in the
PV - Hi girl! Hehehe I know just what you mean about enjoying
the virtual audience. I did it again in the bath last night.
Steve had just come home and I had been hoping he would get
here when I was in the bath. Well I called him in to the
bathroom and I stood up. I just said "hello guys, I have been
waiting for you. I'm going to have a wee now. Would you like
to watch?" Steve said yeah and I said "I really want to go,
how do you want me to do it?". Steve said do it standing up,
and I said "Shall I do it standing then? All right then, just
for you guys ok?" and I stood with my hands on my hips and I
said "Here it comes, are you watching?" then I let rip.
Well it was a big gusher that squirted out of my pussy and
splooshed in my bathwater for ages. Well when it finished I
asked Steve and the other guys I imagined "Well did you like
that?" Well Steve undressed and got a bit steamy with me in
the bath so I guess he did! LOL
Friday, December 14, 2001
the top 5 interesting places I've peed -<p>
1. on waterslides<br>
2. out the window of a hotel<br>
3. night flight, while seated in the window seat of an airplane,
too lazy to get up, so pissed between the armrest and seat onto
the wall and soaked the carpet below<br>
4. in a bathtub<br>
5. on the seats and floor of a boat<br>
Hello to you too, Robby & Annie. i have two dear friends named Robby and Annie in real life :)
amanda- Yes, I have thrown up while pooping. I was sick to my stomach though, not from straining too hard. If I remember correctly I had diarrhea, and then suddenly I gagged and vomited. Luckily I managed to do it into the bathtub, as it's right across from the toilet.
Had another near-accident regarding peeing this past Saturday. Another long night out, and there were no bathrooms around. By the time I got in it was almost 4 a.m. and I was too lazy to walk around to the bathroom, so I just grabbed the trusty old plant (more like pot of soil, the plant died long ago, I'm just glad it's still around!), took off my black panties and let it rip.