Renee and Patsy
Hellowe everybody! Me and Miss Patrice are gang-posting today. We wanted Carmalita to join in, but she's busy being a snooze hound.
How are y'all? I sure have missed everyone. It feels like forever since I've been able to talk to anyone here.
To Kathy: I loved your story about the twin toilets with Rick. Sometimes hearing your descriptions, or hearing about you tingles my toes! and that story of you two together, wowee! It was very nice. Patsy liked it too. Do you think you could post more? I'd be a happy woman if you did!
Steve and Louise: Good luck on your wedding! How beautiful. I hate to sound stupid, but I thought you two were already married. I like you two, and I wish you both the best from the bottom of my heart. Steve: I did a really healthy pee this morning. I did it standing in the tub .
To Muggs: Hey buddy, you got yourself a harem a' girls! Thanks for saying hi to us. Hey, slow down on the partying! Don't go to bed 18 and wake up 24 with a headache. I hate to see you feeling sick.
To RJOGGER: Hey guy! Wow it's great to hear from you. I have a very special place in my heart for you and Kathy. I feel like I've known you both forever! Little Malita Jean is sleeping peacefully inside of me. I look forward to the day when I can hold her in my arms. Jake is my best male friend in the whole world. He always took care of me when I was younger. One time, the biggest bully in school called me 'chicken legs' and Jake beat him up. The kid was twice his size too. Ever since then, nobody wanted any problem with Jake. Now, he's still taking care of me, and Patsy, and of course his new bride to be. Oh yeah, 6 mile run? Whoa! I'm jealous!
To Kim and Scott: Hi Kim, how's my favorite centerfold doing? Hey girl, if you ever have to take one of your serious shits, I'd be happy to hold your pom-poms for you! Your stories are wonderful adn I'm delighted whenever I see your name here.
PV: Hi there sweet thing! I read some of the things you say to Malita. Y'all are so smart, you must be a business woman, or executive or something! You're also very good hearted, and I think you'd be a treasure to watch when it comes to a live performance. I love your sentiments, and how you care for people. Me and Patsy just love you.
I had to go to the ladies room at a mall the other day for a pee and poop. There was another gal about my age who took the stall next to me. She was honey blonde (like me) and her hair was really long and flowing. She was wearing a light sweatshirt and blue jeans. As I sat down on the toilet and got myself situated, she was already pooping! There were lots of plops one after the ohter. The chick had to take a serious dumparoo! It was very stinky too. I only had to pee but I stayed for a few minutes because it just felt good to be off my feet. She wiped, flushed and was gone. Then came woman number two. I had no idea what she looked like, only that she was black and wearing shorts because she had tennis shoes and black legs. She sounded like Patsy does whenever she takes a poop. Patsy grunts and moans and sighs a lot. It was a poop festivel in the ladies room. Right in teh middle of her delicious crap, her cell phone rings, and she's yakkin a mile a minute. Damn! It ruined ! all the good sounds.
As I type this, Patsy girl is taking a huge, stinky dump. It's always fun to watch her because she has a great ass. Jennifer Lopez would be jealous of Patsy's butt! Anyway, I could smell her poop even with the door closed and that's a warning sign! I also heard her grunting gas and moaning. I'll sign off now. Bye y'all!
Hello people. Renee is right, it really smelled bad this morning, damn!
RJOGGER: Thank you for remembering me, I'm relly flattered. You always take time to talk to me. I never get on here, I suppose I should more often. Now, I never do this, but last night I took a crap, and the turd was so big I had to have Renee come in and look at it. Carmalita loved it. I'd say it was a good twenty inches long and really fat. But it was perfectly shaped and all. Just like a big, huge log. I squirmed and wiggled and the damn thing just kept creeping out of me. The thing about the bucket story was I just had to go so bad it wouldn't wait. A nice pile came out of me though.
Kathy: Sweetie you sound like a honey! I was diggin that story about you in the bathroom with the double toilets. Baby, tell more! I can just picture your sweet, dark skinned self squatting in the woods with your man and friends.
PV: I love your pee stories. You're hot!
Kim and Scott: Hi girl, how are ya? You sure can press out some logs, huh? I knew a girl just like you in high school, blonde, and built like you describe yourself. She took the biggest dumps I ever heard of. Huge, monster logs that would clog up school toilets. She'd clench her teeth, lean forward and push out a turd like a baseball bat! I picture you that way.
Muggs: Hiya bud. Thanks for saying hi to us.
Steve and Louise: My congratulations to you on your engagement! The other night, the four of us, Me, Renee, Carmalita and Jake made an official toast to you two. Renee had to drink juice.
Fat Woman: I love hearing about your lovely poops! I want to read more baby! You go honey, you grunt, strain and tell Patsy all about it okay?
Rizzo: I just wanted to say that I think you're a wonderful man. I wish we knew you in real life. I liked your boat adventure very much.
As for me, it's early here and as Renee told you, I just took a huge dump. One turd was so long I couldn't even guess it's size cause it curled around. Then, there were four smaller ones, and another huge one! I was squeezin some big business outa my ass! It smells pretty ripe in there right now. I blame Carmalita for all my gastro intestinal problems. Her, and those Mexican massacre dinners she makes. Just kidding! I love her cooking, and I could eat Mexican food 7 days a week. She knows how to make the good stuff too, not like the stuff in restaurants. Anyway, last night she made some tostadas that were absolutely heaven! I ate four big ones!
Back in Texas, I knew this Kiowa girl who I'd hang out with on occasion. Once she took me for a horse ride at a ranch, and there was this double seater outhouse. We both had to go, I only had to pee, and I thought she did too. Man, she aimed her little ass over the hole and pumped out four big logs that made all sorts of crackling noises while she grunted hard. That was cool watching them slide out of her ass. She was so pretty too.
Anyway, I guess I'm out fo things to say. I'm not much of a talker anyway. I hear Jake rattling around in the kitchen so I guess I'd better go.
Take care everybody,
Some really good reading on her lately-some responses
TO RJOGGER & KATHY-Reaaly enjoyed your poop quartet in the woods-Had to laugh when I read about Rich when he was doing his load and it burned!I only have that happen to me when I eat Tex-mex food so i can relate to that,believe me-it really does burn,but not at first.It's when the poop starts to get a bit softer and then as it speeds up the burning starts-I,too have to put water or handi-wipes on my anus to cool things down,but anyway,great story-I would have liked to have joined you folks!
TO CARMELITA-Olla,Senorita!Liked your story with Lucinda and you in the toilet-sounds like you need a bit of fiber in your diet.You should try it-you would probably do some real monsters with the help of some Citrocil or Metameucil and it comes out easy-Try it!And drink lots of water!You know,your story remonds me of when I wws a kid and my older sister had a friend over who had kus had a babya sdn was nursing her too( I was about 16 or so) and my sister's friend commented on how every tme she nursed her baby,she had to BM and I heard her one morning right as she started to nurse the baby and she rushed to the bowl and I heard her let out some serious poop with a lot of gas and loose stuff(the bathroom was right not to my room and I was stiil in bed and getting up when I heard her go in and from my room you could hear it all!)Needless to say,I enjoyed the show,but it semmed like she did that almost all the time she was over!I used to really enjoy listening to her poop,caus! e she was the 1st waoman I heard poop.Good stuff,honey!
To T.S-Most people I know including myself when drinking coffee,it really makes me have to poop a lot-I think it has to do with the acid content in the coffee or somtimes even the caffiene,but i usually don't drink it cause it makes things a bit too loose when i poop after drinking it,but most folks i know, the coffee makes them really have to poop.All I need is some Oj to get me going and after about 10 mins I have to poo and it's not loose,but the Oj does the trick for me!
It's a really nice wednesday morning and I'm going to try and get out to the woods to do my morning thing,so i'll be on my way.I don't feel anything yet,but i'm sues as soon as i start to bike out,i'll have to go.See ya BYE
yep every morning I get my coffee and about 15 min later I get the urge to take a major poop. I think most people are like that though.
Poopin with newpapers on the floor with my girlfriend? Whew has things changed a lot or is it just me?
I used to poop several times a day like after every meal it seemed. But now Im older and I get one a day, two if Im lucky and even skip a day or two.
I see the question about how much toilet paper ones uses? Well I usually rip off about 2 feet worth, wipe and then take a little more for a second wipe, thats it. The first to knock off the rough, the second to polish it up a bit.
I went thru 12 years of school from first grade up to a senior 12th. In all those years we had at least one wetting in the classroom each year, sometimes two or three in elementry school especially. With some classmantes, sitting next to a few made one a nervous wreck. Often they had to pee or poop and wouldnt ask or get told "no" wait. Usually nothing happened, but I got my shoes in a few puddles at times that ran across an asile or under a seat. I guess those teachers were more interested in showing who was the boss and all strict rather than take in account of the feelings of some of the kids.
That adds up to like 17 wetting accidents in 12 years. Anyone out there witness more than that?
A few kids would crap their pants after drinking choclate milk and later after recess go and leave out a little fart only it wasnt just a fart.
Well thats my say for today, like to read more about experiences...
Good morning to all:
I got a couple of replies back on my recording story. Buzzy thats great that you got your girlfriend to respond back by exchanging tapes. Home video was not availible when I did my recording on tape. For Pat I only have to use three or four sheets of tp. There were a lot of great posts and stories this morning.
My story today deals with a friends sister. I was staying at my friends Tonys house overnight. We were watching The Tonight Show on tv but I was thirsty so I went downstairs to get a drink. I was sitting at the kitchen table drinking my soda when Tonys sister came walking in. She looked like she was still asleep.
I said hello to her. She said hello back. I said she looked tired but I did not get a response back. A few minutes later she got up walked over to the wastepaper basket pulled her pajama bottoms down and hovered over it and peed a torrent of a piss into it. She pulled up her bottoms walked out of the kitchen and back into her bedroom.
I went back upstairs and finished watching The Tonight Show with Tony. I did not say anything to him about what his sister had done. I was up before Tony so I went downstairs and got myself breakfast. I was eating when his sister came in and sat down to eat. She said good morning and I said the same back to her.
I asked if she slept during the night. She said yes but she said she had a wierd dream. I asked her if she remembered what it was about? Not all of it, but I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. I told her what had happened last night there in the kitchen. Her face turned red but she was smiling. She told me that it was not the first time she had done that. Thats the end of the story. By the way has anyone else have done or seen similar event of this type happening? If you have then post them. Thanks Upstate Dave.
PAT -- I use two squares at a time, and I fold them )I'm a "wadder") and lubricate them with saliva for a washign effect. I use as many as needed, sometimes as few as two, sometimes as many as six or seven. I usually finish with a dry wipe of one or two sheets to dry off.
RIZZO -- re Honda-coloured knickers (guffaw!) in my recollection the 1982 Honda CB-1100R was red, white and blue! (My late dad was a Honda specialist, he let me sit on a factory fresh 1100R at the workshop once. You're right, off-topic, but think of the patriotic underwear one could sport with such a scheme!
STEVE -- I know the script of that episode of "Steptoe & Son" by heart, I break up like there's no tomorrow! Yes, Albert had harokld running around after him for three solid weeks before he got so greedy Harold noticed he was up and about while he was out. At the end he gave Albert a blanket bath with surgical spirit and doused his "goolies," after which Albert effected a miraculous cure, shrieking as it spirit stung like heck, and flew downstairs to park his rear in the kitchen sink!
What about the bit at the start where the doctor has called round, and Harold makes him some tea while he explains Albert's condition. Harold is looking for a tea pot and finds something very old, looks in it and makes a disgusted face. "Oh God, what HAS he done in 'ere?! You can never tell in this house!"
There's an episode set in a hot summer and Harold has a pair of sunglasses. He stops the cart and climbs down, puts his sunglasses on and one of the lenses falls out. He blinks and looks down to find it -- and it's disappeared under a pile of fresh turd deposited by Hercules the Horse... They never missed a trick, it was a lavatory-humor adventure playground!
Looking forward to those Spain stories very much!
Get some toilet paper with Osama bin Laden picture on it and wipe your
butt until it clean. I'd rather shit on his face. What ever makes you happy.
ROBBY AND ANNIE - Hey you two. You have some great toilet times
together still, don't you? The way you can wee and crap together is
like I am with my mum and sister. It was like that when we were little
kids and it is still like that now when we are together and we
really enjoy it. Well, my sister is a little bit nervy around Steve
and avoids the toilet a bit if he is about. I mean she has stood at the
urinal at our local swimming pool next to him but I think maybe he
makes her a bit nervous. It is not like that with my mum and me. My
mum went with us to the nude beaches in Spain in the summer and she
is able to wee openly in front of Steve and it is just a normal thing
for her to do. I hope you like my stories and thank you for your
congrats about my engagement to Steve.
If you have more stories, please tell them, because I like reading them.
RIZZO - Hi guy! Oh no that poor girl with you on the boat! You let her
go to the toilet all lit up and entertain you like that. Oh you cruel
man you LOL! Do you think that maybe it would have been fun to see
*me* all lit up behind that curtain while I stood up for a wee?
Would you have liked that?
JEFF A - Hey guy, please write soon. I hope you are all right!
CARMALITA - Hi girl! October 14th? Really? Not much time to go then.
Hey have a really nice wedding day, I hope you get good weather and
Yeah, I saw that guy peeing on the beach with his girlfriend peeing
nearby as well. I did see quite a lot of guys peeing during those two
weeks we had there. My mum and me, we were like pointing them out to
each other. I bet you would have liked to have seen them all. There
were a few guys who weed on the trees. We saw a guy with his girlfriend
who just stopped walking and just got hold of his dick and held it
up and pissed. That was good to watch. There were some who went to
the sea to wee as well. LOL the best one was Steve when he wanted to
pee on a part of beach where there were no children and a few couples
were you know, taking advantage of that. It surprised my mum. Well
I help Steve's dick for him and pointed him at a tree, but he could not
pee. My mum left us alone for a bit so that I could solve that preoblem
for him! LOL
EPHERMAL - Hi girl! Yeah I think Steve is right. If you are not eating
much then you will not really have much chance of shitting much either.
Well I hope you do get better soon, and thank you for your congrats!
PV - Oooh I do not know if I can manage an 8 foot arc LOL. 7 feet I know
I can do but going further would be hard. Hey you know if I get nervy
on my wedding day I bet it will work if I imagine being nude in the sun
like that. It is about the calmest and most relaxed state you can get.
That was strange how you got that air bolus that made you think you
needed a shit in the middle of the night. I do not get those but I
do sometimes get that peristalsis feeling and then do silent or hissing
farts, but I do not mistake it for needing a shit.
Hey did I tell you Steve asked my mum for permission before he talked
to me about getting married? Well I know I kept giving him hints and
stuff but he still asked her about it first!
Jacob G in Florida
BUZZY: I think I know why the guy pooped, stood up and peed, then sat back down and pooped some more. About a month ago, I witnessed the same scenario at the bookstore. As I stood at the urinal, someone was having a rather loud pooping session in the first stall. Like a lot of you all, I kept my eyes on his shoes. Suddenly, the guy stood up, turned around, peed a river, then turned back around, sat down and continued with a loud pooping session. A few minutes later, I identified the guy by his shoes as he walked around. He was very, very, obese. I theorized that because of his size, he could not sit and pee at the same time. I had never thought of that.
To all those who used to tape record their pooping session: I used to do that when I was a teenager. I remember listening to them, then destroying the tapes so nobody would discover my interest.
My family was on vacation in the Rockies. I was about 12. My father, the G Gordon Liddy of family vacations, decided it would be fun to swim in a mountain stream.
He was brutal. Five hundred miles a day in a station wagon, no air conditioning (because it wasted gasoline), pulling a pop-up camper. Ok, so we saw EVERYTHING there was to see, but only, it seemed, for a few seconds each. We never had time to linger, because he had his schedule to keep. Of course, I'm EXACTLY the same now, so I can understand and appreciate why he was the way he was. If you're reading this, Dad, I now think you were a saint for putting up with four whining brats in a hot station wagon for six weeks. And I forgive you for that Grand Canyon / Skunk incident. You'll know what I mean.
Anyway, G Gordon Dad decided we should take a dip in a mountain stream. He selected a spot near a crowded campground. There was a big stream there, with a swirling backwater pool where about two dozen pasty-white people were swimming in ice water.
We all put on our swim suits to waddle into the water with the other penguins. Some of the other penguins were females about my age, so naturally I strode into the cold water trying to look cool. The shock of the cold nearly knocked me off my feet. I tried not to gasp, lest the girls would think less of me. Of course, I imagined they were all watching me with lust in their little pre-pubescent eyes. Actually, they probably didn't even notice me.
Eventually I got used to the cold. The nerve endings closest to the surface of my skin froze and stopped sending "What the hell are you doing, you fool, get out of here before it's too late!" messages to my brain.
But my bowels hadn't stopped working, so far.
I had gas (or so I thought) really bad. And, I had a plan to deal with it. I knew if I farted in my swimming trunks, the fart would get caught in there and my trunks would balloon up, and the other kids with snorkels and face masks would know I'd farted in my trunks. You can't be cool with a fart in your trunks.
So, I backed up to an uninhabited part of the backwater about chest-high, pulled my trunks down in back to let loose. However, to my horror, what came out wasn't gas, but a great big turd!
Worse, it was a floater!
It rolled up my back, and because of the swirling nature of the water in the pool, it stayed there right between my shoulder blades. I ran like a man being chased by a tiger. I had backed myself into a corner, so the only place to run was toward the rest of the group but I had to get away from that turd at any cost, even at the cost of virtually certain lethal humiliation. The only worse thing than having a fart in your trunks is having a turd on your back. You may quote me.
My little legs were churning, but the water kept me from moving very fast. And, the currents and wake churned up by my motion through the water pulled this turd along with me, and it kept up with me - rubbing between my shoulders. Taunting me.
This is where the dream sequence kicks in.
You've had these kinds of dreams before - where you run as fast as you can to get away from something horrible, but you just can't get up any speed, and the thing, whatever it is, stays just outside its reach. But this was no dream.
So, here I ran/swam toward the crowded part of the pool toward the girls I wanted to impress, with this horrible turd chasing me through the water. I tried to decide what to do. Quickly. Could I lie about it? Claim it wasn't mine? Claim it was a Mr. Goodbar? Ignore it completely and hope this actually was a dream? The faster I ran the faster the turd floated. Life is intrinsically unfair.
Finally, I did the unspeakable. The only thing I could have done. I stopped, turned, and faced my tormentor. It was one of those big gnarly, hard kinds. Light brown, and about four inches long, and 1 1/2 inches in diameter. When it approached and rubbed my chest, that was all I could take.
Cringing, I grabbed it and forced it under water. I swam/walked nonchalantly back to where it had first appeared. I was totally grossed out. When I got back to the spot I heaved it over a small stand of bulrushes and into the main stream, where it floated away from me for the first time in its life, on its way now to the Rio Grand, thank god.
I gave up on the girls in the pool. Jeezuz, how much stress can a guy take in the space of about 3 minutes? I was happy to simply be alive. Anyway, I guessed my face still showed my horror. I'd probably waddle up to a group of kids, and one would say, "Hey, aren't you the kid that shit in his pants over there and got chased by a turd?" Then they would all point and laugh and my whole life would be ruined. I would have no choice but to crawl off and become a monk at age 12.
At the least, I wouldn't be able to be cool, having just had a near-death experience. "What'sa matter, kid, you look like you've just been chased by a rabid turd or something?" When you're 12 your self-esteem is fragile, and your imagination is vivid.
I wiped my hands on my trunks, on the bulrushes, on rocks, and anything else I could touch. I wanted all vestiges of this experience to be gone. Obviously, they're not, I guess, or I wouldn't have just come back from washing my hands even now.
I guess this experience spawned a new interest and respect for poop. I now run the website http://w which is a all toilet humor site where you can read more original stories and jokes.
When I wrote the last time I seemd to have missed a whole page of posts. The update was a bit erratic. Finding it, I was delighted by
RJOGGER’s two couple run and dump with crosswise-wiping story!
So you cleaned your future wife’s hole when you were 17, Rick? That and the fact that you are both still together I find very romantic. I was 25 when I met my future wife, and she was not quite 18 then. (I’ve been called a cradle snatcher). I did not realise it then, but it must have taken me less than a minute to be totally smitten by her, although I was at the time engaged to somebody else, with the engagement on the rocks. That was almost 33 years ago. We are not that intimate when pooping on the toilet as you are. We close the bathroom door for a poop out of consideration, in order not to stink up the whole house. For peeing we don’t bother about doors or privacy. However, I did give her an enema once when she couldn’t go. It was at sea during our first voyage under sail. She had been sea sick for the first three days and had become dehydrated. I improvised the enema using an empty body lotion bottle and a plastic tube. I heated the end of the plastic tube in the fla! me of the cooker to melt and round the edges so they wouldn’t hurt. The result was very satisfactory. No enemas have been needed on board since then.
From time to time I too earn myself a reprimand, but she is usually right in doing so. I love her very much, life without her.... I don’t even want to try to imagine it, although I have had some severe scares in this respect: once an emergency operation caused by a burst ovarian cyst, and worse, breast cancer. It seems to be under control, but one never knows. Take care Rick and Kathy, enjoy each other and love from Rizzo.
This brings me to dear new friends ANNIE and ROBBY. Your report of your renewed intimate moments in the bathroom are very touching to read. You hint at horrible times in the past, both of you having lost your spouses. But you both can add up quite a family! You have, if I got it right, a total of seven children between you! It sounds as if these are giving you much pleasure and make life worth living! Not to mention all the bathroom stories you will be able to write, and to which I am already looking forward to! Love to both of you from Rizzo!
Hi PV dear, thank you so much for providing some extra beach wee images for my mind’s eye! As you say, to make it obvious that a woman is having a wee she must squat. So it is this you have in mind in order to capture the attention of men on the beach next time? To raise some er…let me call them eyebrows? You sure are a dare devil! Isn’t it peculiar that a standing wee will not catch any attention, because a woman standing does not necessarily trigger the idea that she could be relieving herself! A dress, underwear open down below (it is available!) or as a nude on a nudist beach, i.e. being inconspicuous, and the ground down below either wet from rain, or grass or sand which does not show a puddle, and hey presto, a woman can have a wee almost anytime, anywhere, without anyone noticing! Isn’t that great! It almost sounds as if it were the men who are handicapped when it comes to having a discreet pee. As soon as a man stands facing something to cover the view to his fro! nt, thereby puttings his hands anywhere near the front of his hips, many will think: look at that man peeing in public!
Your nightly scare from an urge to poo without anything happening, the urge having been caused by gas does happen. I will describe to you what I do when I feel gassy inside without being able to let it out. This is best done when at home. First empty your bladder. Then try the following. Get right down on all fours, on your elbows and knees. Rest your forehead on your lower arms. Your bottom should now be the highest part of your body. Gravitational pull on your intestines is now towards your thorax. Relax all pelvic floor muscles and sphincters (that’s why you should pee beforehand). Breathe deeply and feel your diaphragm dropping down when you breathe out, and lifting the intestines back up when you breathe in. If gases in your gut do not start to sort themselves out after a few breaths, raise yourself back into an upright kneeling position and breathe again. Bend down again and with all probability you will soon be able to release a barrage of farts to clear the problem! . It is important to keep all those “holding” muscles conciously relaxed. If it works with me, it should work with anybody else too. Hey, we are all of the same species! Keep in good health! Love from Rizzo.
Bye, bye, happy poops and relieving pees to all from Rizzo.
Judith. I enjoyed your story tremendously. It sounds as though your mother had a common sense approach to what was an emergency situation for both of you. Such common sense and pragmatism about urgent bodily functions would almost certainly have been the exception rather than the rule though back in 1962 when prudery about bodily functions was still fairly widespread. I'm glad that you in turn passed on her common sense approach to your own offspring and grandchildren. The idea that having an accident (if it is a genuine accident) is somehow naughty is one that needs nipping in the bud and if it can be eradicated by passing the idea from one generation to another that such things don't matter, so much the better!
Yew. Perhaps some of the ladies in your congregation might have been turned on by the Pastor's frank admission that he'd had the runs. I don't think for a minute that there's anything dirty or immoral about being turned on by people being taken short. The only danger is that mention of such things in a church service may divert people's attention away from the business of worshipping - which is what they're there for. In common with many country churches in England, my church doesn't have toilets - apart from Yew trees that is! As you can imagine this has, on occasion, presented difficulties. We have a lady curate who occasionally experiences bowel problems and it's not unknown for her to have to leave the church immediately before a service and go to the house in the village where she has an office. Luckily she's never been taken short half way through a service.
The other day I came across some interesting thumbnail pictures on another website. One of them was of a model called Anne. Wearing blouse and panties she was crouched on the side of her bed and was doing a wee wee through her panties on to the wooden floor beneath. She looked as though she was enjoying it too. Needless to say it made me want to go to the toilet!
Unusually, my last post got the chop for some reason, although the content was perfectly innocent! Anyhow, I'll post again.
Judith. I really enjoyed your story. It sounds as though you your mother had a very common sense and pragmatic approach to what was, for both of you, a desperate situation. Such a commonsense approach to unavoidable calls of nature certainly couldn't be taken for granted back in 1962 and even today it's still far from universal as winessed by other posters. I'm glad you passed on her commonsense values with regard to accidents and desperate situations to other members of your family.
Yew. Perhaps some of the ladies in your church were turned on by your Pastor's account of having the 'runs.' For what it's worth I don't think there's anything morally wrong about being turned on by people being taken short in either sense of the word. After all, some people are turned on by things which are far, far worse and which I wouldn't even contemplate let alone mention on this site (or anywhere else for that matter). The only danger, is that your Pastor's mention of his desperation might have served to divert people's attention away from the business of worshipping which is what they were in church for. I know my mind has wandered sometimes onto loo related topics without any encouragement from the preacher. We have a lady curate who occasionally suffers from bowel problems and, like many country churches in England, our church doesn't have a loo. Quite often therefore, she's had to leave the church immediately before the service to use a loo in the village! to which she has access. Fortunately she's never been taken short half way through though.
The other day I came across an interesting site which had a number of thumbnail photos of weeing and desperation. One of them was of a model called Anne who was sat on the edge of a bed and doing a wee wee through her knickers onto the floor below. Those who know me well will understand that I quite liked it and found it a turn on.
Hi. I've not posted for some time, but had an enjoyable experience last Sunday. I went cycling. I needed to take a dump. I stopped at a nearby city field where I knew there was a restroom. A football clinic for kids was going on. I was real surprised to see among the sponsors three military guys at a table. They were talking with folk and handing out literature. One of the guys was a bit fat and older. The other two dudes were about 23-24 years. The one was blond and the other Latino. They looked great in their military cammies and boots! I heard the two younger dudes tell their superior that they were going to the restroom. I walked behind them and they went in while I secured my bike outside. When I got in, I was real surprised to see them both sitting on the crappers in the only two stalls. The stalls had no doors. I excused myself, but they were real friendly and said how yer doing and I just kinda hung around outside the stalls. The blond dude in the stall! nearer the entrance told me he would be out in a moment. They talked to each other while they crapped. I heard the farting and crackling sounds and then loud plops as their logs came in for a landing. I was wearing my sunglasses and watched them without being too obvious. The smell was pretty bad, but it was all worthwhile. Eventually, I heard the blond one say that he was done and he stood up. He turned his back to me and wiped his butt from behind giving me a real good view of his butt. The Latino dude was still dropping logs. The blond dude came out of the stall and I replaced him on the still warm seat. He washed his hands at the sink outside the stalls and stood there waiting for his buddy to get done while I took a good shit. When the other guy was done he washed his hands and they grinned at me and wished me a nice day. I guess all military dudes are uninhibited?
Lawn Dogs Kid
RIZZO: Excellent advice once again from the man in the know ! Actually, Kendal made a post last night which hasn't made it. In it she told how Kate phoned me up last week, and that she and Emily are going to come and stay in Devon over half term. We talked for ages, she's so lovely to talk to. However, we decided that we lived too far apart to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and she admitted that she wasn't wanting a boyfriend yet, but she would love a very good friend who is a boy. Me ! She told me that she had felt left out when she saw how much Emily and I get on together, and she wishes she hadn't turned down the opportunity to go on holiday with us last May. And she also loves Kendal very much, for teaching her not to be judgemental all the time. Apparantly, since that day when she tried to go to the toilet, she and Emily have been going together all the time ever since ! Sounds like a good half term will be had !! Because Kendal wrote such a long post and held me up! doing my homework last night, she has decided not to post it again, and asked me to add comments in my post. The comment to you is that she can buy her own panties thank you, and doesn't need my Mum ! Oh, and could you wait until you're stubbly before your next hug to her ! Cheers my friend, love Andrew.
ANNIE & ROBBY: We were both thrilled to see Annie appear here, and very much enjoyed her first story. Kendal nearly died when she read the bit about Annie's Dad catching both of you in the toilet together ! Kendal and I keep our toilet activities secret from Mum and Dad. Its more exciting that way. Plus we don't know how Mum and Dad would be about it. But given that Mum and Kendal's Dad ( who were brother and sister ) used to do this as well, I suppose Mum wouldn't be overly bothered about it ! We were both very sorry to hear about your respective partners passing away, and we appreciate how much empathy you must have with Kendal. It is just such a pity that she has had so much to suffer at only 11 years old. But she is grateful for all her friends, and she says she is only too pleased to add you both to her list. And that goes for me too. Because Kendal's story about the first time she watched me poo didn't make it past the Moderator, she has asked me to point yo! u in the direction of when she first wrote about it at this site. It took some finding, but its on page 380 of the old posts. She says could you please pretend that she wrote it to you ? Love from Andrew.
ANDREA: Kendal and I felt very sorry for your Mum as well. Thanks for telling us about your story.
STEVE: Kendal says to tell you that she taught Emily to do it, in the bath one night when Kate was away staying with friends ! Emily did the stand up wee especially for me and Kendal just to show us how good she has got at doing it !
MUGGS: Kendal is asking if there is any particular kind of story you want dedicating to you ? She says thanks for the compliment too. By the way, I've been enjoying your latest stories, about all the drunken parties and watching various girls go about their business. But especially the one with Amy and getting to wipe her butt for her !
PS: Kendal says she thinks you drink too much ! ( I wonder what she will say the first time she sees me like that ! ).
LINDA GS: Hi babe ! Kendal wanted you to know that she also dedicated the story about when she first watched me poo to you as well as to Robby. She ( we ) decided that it was about time that you were allowed in with me while I go rather than the other way round, and she hoped that you could have pretended to be her doing the watching. Alas, the story has been wiped. Never mind. She's promised to watch me go again soon, and then she is going to write about that just for you ! Take care babe, lots of love from me and Kendal XOSXOS.
Thursday, October 04, 2001
How much toilet paper does everyone use after pooping? I generally pull off around five handfuls of paper, and each handful has about seven sheets. That makes my average usage around 35 squares of paper. How does this compare with everyone else?
Alexia, when you were on the road trip, was your poop in the car soft?