I garden, have a raised-bed field and in warm weather raise the usual tomatoes, cukes, melons, corn, peas, etc., etc.
To enrich the soil, I use Claudette #2 fertilizer with sporadic doses of urea-rich Claudette #1.
When it's summer, these applications are made directly at night; in winter, the doses are stored inside my shed and applied before a snowfall. Come spring-thaw, I attribute the supply on one of my dogs...
I have award-ribbons for my produce. County fairs, farmer's markets. If only these judges knew the secret, knew the vegetables they were eating were once part of me...
Very good food they are, the plants love myself and what I give to them. I encourage others to utilize your assets, the product of your asses. Women's bottoms are beautiful and what they produce is appreciated by flora.
Jane: In grammar school, we wore shorts under our uniforms on gym days. I once peed myself in 7th grade. The teacher was understanding and told me the rule was, leave the room at once. You do not have to ask. That was cruel of that nun. Tawana is at my house. She told me how when she was nine years old a girl used to pee herself in Sunday School. I had a Sunday School classmate like that. Tawana makes these huge bowel movements. She is thin and lanky. Sometimes when she wipes and the paper with her logs backs up the toilet. Sometimes we let the natural action of the water take its course and will not further flush. This summer we went to my aunt's house in New England and one Saturday night, I found her on the toilet with her jeans and yellow flowered panties to her ankles. When she got up to wipe, I saw this 13 inch log, 2 inches wide. I told her to flush it first, then wipe. We did not want any trouble.
To Daniel UK: I'm kind of in the same situation you are. I want to watch my friend Alex take a dump but I know it's never probably going to happen. And the only way I think I would ever be able to watch him is if I put a camera behind the shower curtain or maybe hide behind the shower curtain and peek thru the whole in the curtain. Alex is only open about poop thru talking about it if I ask him certain questions or comment on something about poop. Other than that he is not open about poop. I wish he was. I try to listen to him poop as much as possible but since he only spends that night 1 every two or three weeks and half the time he never poops, I don't get much of a chance. I do have a friend named Bryan that is kiind of open about poop. He's let me watch him before but only once did he ever actually poop. And I didn't get to see it come out because he was sitting on the bowl. Let me tell you the story
One night Bryan came over to spend the night. Me and him were! (and still are) open with each other and didn't mind changing in front of each other even when he had to get completely naked. We were good friends. When it finally got night time and everyone was asleep me and him went into the bathroom. I asked him if he needed to do a #1 or a #2. He said #2. He got on the bowl first. He said for a little bit and then I heard some crackling. I smelled the poop in the air. Then I heard it fall into the water with a little plop (not real loud) He sat there for about 5 more minutes just pushing really hard but nothing coming out. He said he was done and I looked in the bowl. There was a medium sized light brown log in the toilet. It was really big either. I sat down. I pooped about 4 logs in the toilet, the reason why was because I was holding it for about a week or two. Finally when I finished I wiped and flush. It went down after I plunged the thing so it took about 3 or 4 flushes. Me and him were pretty satisfied.
Another time was ! when he spent the night during Christmas vacation. I had been holding my poop for about 3 weeks and was pretty stuffed up. We waited until everyone was asleep and we were playing Nintendo. I told Bryan I really needed to poop really bad. He said we would go after he finished the level. When we went into the bathroom we took everything off. It was so we wouldn't poop or pee on any of our clothes. He went first. He pushed and pushed but nothing came out. It was apparent that he just didn't need to poop. During one of his pushing sessions he accidentally let loose some pee which sprayed me. I washed myself up and he got of the bowl (he squated this time) and I got on (I squated just like the first time) and let loose. My logs were coming out like I was a horse or something. They kept coming and coming. The total amount of logs I guess would be about 10. I was pretty blocked up inside. It took several flushes and several wads of toilet paper. I would guess that we were in the room! for about 30 minutes. Bryan just laughed his head off as I was pooping. I was watching myself too and they were coming out awfully fast. Oh those were the good days. Bryan doesn't come over much anymore. He doesn't spend the night at all either. When he does come over my parents are home.
In those days (before that stupid puberty kicked in) I could hold in poop much much longer and didn't have to worry about the urge to fart at school. Ever since 7th grade I can't hold my poop because I get the severe urge to fart and as the gas builds up in seven hours when I get home I produce a major fart. This never used to happen. I don't know why it started. It may or may not have something to do with puberty but it is annoying and I don't like it. Sometimes when I hold my crap in the gas builds up to the point where you would almost want to burst and it is sometimes painful. But this only happens when I've been holding my crap in for about 3 or 4 days and then I have to take ! a crap if I'm going to feel releif. When I'm home I just fart and there's nothing to it. But before this all ever started I'd go to school and be stuffed with poop and would not even think twice about it. In fourth grade a couple of times I held my crap in so long that I started to get major urges during class. But I ignored it when I had plenty of chances to take a crap. Why I didn't I don't know. I should have though because I can't do that now because I don't have the time anymore like I used to. You all know as you get out of elementary grades and start getting into middle grades and then into JH and the HS you don't have as much time to do your business whether it be peeing or crapping. I wish I could go back in time to the days when I had plenty of chances to go. I would take those chances for sure.
Next time I post I will tell some of the great stories about pooping at school. A couple of the stories are me pooping. Bye for now.
To Daniel(UK): That sounds cool that you heard your friend Nat go to the bathroom. U should watch him
To Bungholio: That sounds gross
To jerry: That story just seems funny, that story seems funny with the poop on the floor and a girl did it. I thought you would have said they found out you were the one who did it.
I took a dump last night, and the logs were light brown and the one log was about 5". I did poop the other night while talking to a friend:) online, i said i'll be right back i have to take a dump **
whazzzzzzzup!? i took a poopoo today. It was soft and it was coool! At least I was able to poooooopp!Thank God!! kersplash!!kersplash!! Finally did my laundry. Went without boys underwear for a whole week! It sukd!
School related postings seem to be in vogue at the minute so I'm sure no-one will mind if I share some recollections of a school outing.
In 1977, when I was about fourteen or so, a coachload of pupils went from our school to York. It was quite a long journey, or rather it seemed longish to my young mind, and we didn't have any toilet stops on the way. Luckily everyone seemed to have gone easy on the breakfast tea and we didn't have any mishaps on route. That afternoon we were looking round a museum and some girls from our party were stood outside the 'Ladies' waiting to use the facilities. One of the girls, a girl called Anne, told me that she and her mates were going for a 'wee wee'. Fair enough. I thought nothing more of it.
On the way home however, Anne farted and let out a real stinker. This caused some consternation on the bus. Luckily for her she didn't have an accident, but I couldn't help thinking that she should have gone for a 'jobbie' when ! she had the chance to in the Ladies loos. I seem to recall seeing her next day and she smiled. I couldn't help noticing how clean she looked and smelt. Obviously she'd done a 'jobbie' when she'd got home the previous evening.
Hello again, everyone. First off, I apologize if I send my replies to particular posts to the wrong people; I'm still getting the hang of all the names.
To NJ: Glad you liked the story. Well, luckily, since I'm easily embarrassed, I was able to hold back until the janitor left. But it was difficult. I'd really had to go when I first went into the bathroom, so my bowels weren't going to wait much longer. As to the toilet-seat subject, we happen to have a wooden seat on one of our toilets at home. And so did some friends of mine, until a visiting youngster stood up on it to reach something in the cabinet and broke it. We didn't know it was broken till my friend Charles went into the bathroom and then we heard an exclamation. When he came out he said the toilet-seat pinched his butt. I bet he wasn't expecting the toilet-seat to protest to his sitting on it.
Well, looking back at older posts, I saw some discussion of hospital situations. Last August, I was ! in the out-patient clinic at a local hospital to have a neuroma removed from my foot. Nothing serious, just heck to walk on it. Anyway, I had to go through the usual deal with the IV in my arm. I hate needles so luckily they deadened my hand before they inserted the IV. Well, being I hadn't had an IV in my arm since I was a little kid, I'd forgotten that the fluid they run through those things makes you have to go to the bathroom all the time. Or at least that's what it did to me this time. Well, the IV bag wasn't attached to a movable pole, but a projection on the bed. So every time I had to go to the bathroom while I was waiting for sergery, and might I say that I went at least ten times in the space of three hours, my mother had to detach the bag from the bed and carry it across the room for me and hold it while I used the toilet. My mother is just about the only person I feel comfortable using the bathroom around, except when I have to do a motion. Well, when it c! ame time for me to go up to surgery, I went to the bathroom one more time for good measure. I had to wait in the holding area for a good half hour until I went into the OR. And the surgery only took about 20 minutes, if even that long. I don't know exactly how long it took me to wake up, but as you can guess, I woke up feeling as if my bladder were about to burst. But since they weren't about to let me go back to my room yet, I had to just lie there and wait. Has anyone else ever observed that it's easier to hold in urine if you're lying on your back? I've found this to be true for myself. Okay, so finally after an eternity of about 30 more minutes, they take me down to my room and give me some soda. Hmmm. That's the last thing I needed then, more liquid. Finally, they allowed me to go to the bathroom after they removed the IV. Good, I didn't have the tube in my arm anymore. But try walking on a foot that's absolutely numb and wrapped in bandages. This time I was ! able to go into the bathroom by myself. And boy did I go. I think I peed for at least a minute nonstop.
To Daniel (UK): Most of the time I've gotten to listen in on my friend, he was just peeing. he's a diabetic, so he does that a lot. Only once did I hear him really do a poop, and I only heard a few plops and a pee. But when I stayed at his place one summer, his roomie always did a poop when he first got up, and I heard him. It never took him long, just a few good plops in a space of about 5 minutes.it was good to hear about your friend's weekly dump at your house.
Well, I'm off to do some major studying for two tests I have tomorrow. College life doesn't let up.College work is like constipation--you know you have an unbelievable load of work to do, and it's hard as heck to get it started, but you feel such relief once you're finished. So, what I want to know, is where I can get a laxative for the brain? :)
Goodbye for now, and I hope everything com! es out all right for everyone out there.
Two weeks ago I was applying for a new job. I passed all the interviews and received the accptance letter. One more thing -- I had to go for a drug test. For those who do not know -- you pee in a cup and then the lab analyzes your urine for drugs. The only thing is you have to do this in the presence of a nurse to make sure there is no tampering.
I made an appointment for a certain time with the company's clinic. I arrived a few minutes early, and at that point I was REALLY ready to pee. The receptionist, however, informed that the only nurse in that day was out for a break, and that I would have to wait for her -- shouldn't be more than 15 minutes. Well, I am sitting in a empty exam room fully dressed for 30 minutes! My bladder is bursting. I try to go the restroom, but the receptionist says that I can not, I have to wait to give the urine sample.
45 minutes later I realize I can not wait any longer. I get up to the table, walk to the door, and, just as I get re! ady to turn the handle to go out to the toilet... I start peeing in my pants. Rapidly. At that point the nurse enters... Very embarassing. By the time we (mostly the nurese, I was to shocked) took off my urine soaked jeans and boxers, I had emptied my entire bladder...
What do folk think about paying to use public toilets? A few years ago in Britain it was common for toilet stalls to have coin-operated doors. This gradually disappeared because of spiralling inflation and the discrimination involved whereby men could urinate for free in a urinal whereas women had to pay to use a stall. Then there was a spell of free public access. Now due to increasing vandalism, and cases of assault, paying to use a public toilet, this time usually by means of a turnstile at the entrance, with a resident attendant to keep the place clean, is returning in many toilets operated by local authorities and in bus and train termini. Toilets in shopping malls, department stores and supermarkets are still free, as of course are pubs and restaurants. And of course there is the Sanisette, the French-desiged pay toilet cubicle often situated in the street or pedestrian area. But one would expect to pay to use one of those. Of course paying to use the toilet is very comm! on on the european continent. At first I was outraged by the thought of paying to have a piss or shit, but I have now decided that the standards of cleanliness and the improved facilities justify a charge, providing that it does not have to be made in an embrassing way like the stories one hears of eastern Europe where an old lady collects your money and gives you a length of TP as you go in! What are people's views on this?
Friday, February 18, 2000
My friend Nat was just here for lunch and as usual he took a dump. i listened and today it was a good fart (rare for him) followed by a grunt, then one very big splash as his log dropped. Then a big sigh of relief, then another smaller grunt, and a smaller splash. Then a long pee. When I went into the bathroom after he'd left, there were some dark skidmarks in the bowl, which he's never left before.
Man, I sure wish I could watch him, but I don't think that's ever going to happen.
My comments about "cottaging" by gays in public toilets was not intended to be anti-gay. Indeed, I am also quite bisexual and sympathetic to homosexuals. It's just that if public tolets get used in that way, they get a bad reputation and people will avoid using them and relieve themselves in all sorts of inappropriate places. Men can enjoy themselves in private, without using toilet stalls. However I agree that nasty-minded policemen are a problem. They should be out catching criminals, not lurking round public toilets.
To Althea and Sandra
I enjoyed your posts!
Hey,Nice stories,allTO HIKER(uk)-Sounds like a poo view smorgasboard ! I would have love to see all those women going like that-Great story
Was in the gym yesterday a.m. and had to poo and went to the bowl and sat down and as i was sitting,i noticed in the stall asross from me,an older guy was sitting on the bowl nude and reading a paper and he was leaning back against the tank with his legs spread apart and you could see his anus pushed out and i just sat there watching him and then i saw a long poo come out slowly into the bowl.It was interesting to see.Then i felt like a had to go at this point so i farted and i too sat back against the tank,cause i always do this too.I didn't look over at him once i started to poo,but i think he was looking at me cause when i farted,he looked up from his paper at me.So i kinda returned the favor and i'm sure he saw the poo exiting my anus and i had to go a lot.I did a long firm sausage poo followed by some more gas and soft pudding! poop.I didn't look up at him at all,i just was looking at my newspaper,but i think he was checking it out and in a weird way i was enjoying it-thank god i didn't get an erection!I would have been really embarrased.I really like going at the gym,cause i think everyone there is totally relaxed about pooing and it's pretty cool and no one gets weird about it.Then i felt done and i could see he was wiping and i wiped too and he left first and i just went off to the shower.I enjoyed that mutual poo view-Great stories,all! BYE
I was reading some old post and came across the one where LINDA and here mom both pooed in front of each other. I was woundering if any of you girls ever did that? And also on page 220 JW said that he had a movie of a girl pooing. I was woundering where or how you got it?
Timid Tigress: The toilet seats with the gap are required for sanitary reasons. They figure that the gap prevents genitals from touching the toilet seat or urine from dripping onto it.
Nicola. Thanks for your theories. I can't be absolutely sure that Aunt Anne wore (or wears) the type of interlock briefs you describe but it is possible. They would almost certainly be white - or whitish. I think careless wiping was most probably behind the 'wedding incident' and your theory about a wet fart could be consistent with the 'bedroom incident'.
Several years after both the above incidents I did in fact see one of Aunt Anne's jobbies - or should I say part of one? She was visiting for the day and, after lunch, asked to use the outside toilet. She didn't break wind or make a smell as such but I noticed that she took an unusually long time. I concluded that she was probably constipated and might not have 'done anything' for a day or two, hence her difficulty. When she'd finished I decided that I needed to go and pay a visit for a wee. Looking into the pan, I noticed that one of her stools hadn't been flushed away. It was about four inches long and v! ery dark in colour, almost black, much darker than I thought she could produce. Still it may have been related to her constipation. A small amount of unflushed paper lurked there as well - but not much. She certainly seemed to have benefitted from going.
On one occasion since a conversation briefly touched upon the subject of undrerclothing and she gently teased me a little bit, saying "Adrian, I must remember my clean knickers." On another much more recent occasion she made a point of telling me that she had to go to the 'bathroom' or the 'half-bathroom' as the Americans called it. It was all good-humoured, gentle-natured fun though - nothing heavy or serious. She's got a great sense of humour and doesn't mind being frank sometimes about things which other people wouldn't necessarily wish to discuss. Maybe that's why I love her so much and think she's so very special.
Thanks again, SANDRA. Any stories you have about pooping in doorless stalls (or toilets with no stalls-such as many park or beach restrooms) in the company of others or having someone walk in on you would be greatly appreciated, as well as any outdoor pooping experiences-squatting down in the wild etc. ALL of your stories are great-I love all the wonderful details you give. And thanks for the quick rundown of your "poop biography." Interesting how you and your husband are such opposites in regards to pooping.
A few years ago, I used to be more like him and would always try to cover up my pooping noises by turning on the water (or something like that), but nowadays I just go for it! Hell, it's just part of life, isn't it? Besides, the whole thing kind of turns me on anyway, as you can see.
I've had an interest in watching a woman poop since I was fairly young, but was always embarrased when it came to myself pooping. Not anymore, of course. I'd go in front ! of a woman as well, if she was interested in watching me.
TIMID TIGRESS: Liked your story with the janitor. Did you go ahead and let loose with your pooping/noises while he was in there, or did you try and hold back until he left?
Regarding toilet seats, I'm with you that for some reason I don't like the softer padded ones. Maybe it's because my butt always feels like it's been glued to it after I've sat on it for a few minutes. I think the most comfortable ones are the "home heavy duty ones" too. Wood is ok I guess, but I don't seem to find them all that often, except for private homes occasionally.
Anyway, Happy Pooing and take care everyone,
Sandra- you're the best. Please tell detailed stories of times you've pooed outside while wearing a skirt, especially if people were around and might have seen you. Does your butt get dirty though since you can't wipe?
My comments about "cottaging" by gays in public toilets was was not intended to be anti-gay. Indeed, I am also bisexual and sympathetic. It's just that if public toilets get used in that way, they get a bad reputation and people will avoid using them and relieve themselves in all sorts of inappropriate places. Men can enjoy them selves in private, without using toilet stalls. However I agree that nasty-minded policemen should not be looking for homosexuals in toilets. They should be out catching criminals, not lurking round public toilets.
To Althea and Sandra:
Nice stories. Thanks for sharing them.
As I suspect there may be a bit of "flaming" after Nicola's robust comments against the more militant elements of the gay community "cottaging" in Gent's Public Toilets to the annoyance of ordinary men using same, and having been mentioned as a victim myself in this regard, I feel I should state my experiences.
Now from the start I want to say that, although straight myself, I have no problem with male Homosexuals, knowing quite a few, together with a lesbian couple who sometimes post here and a male transvestite who attended the same school as me as a teenager and who would convince most observers that they are a woman from the skill of their dressing etc. The male Gay people I know are decent types who hate the stupid pranks of Peter Tatchell and "Outrage" which they feel will undo all the good work over the last 30 years or so by various Gay actors, politicians etc to achieve a more tolerant attitude to male homosexuals in the UK, and actions such as aggressive co! ttaging in men's public toilets will provoke a backlash.
I was accosted once, as mentioned, by a persistent agressive homosexual while peeing at the urinal in a public toilet. No one else was around and the urinal was of the type divided by vertical partitions. He looked over at me and the manner of his body language alerted me to his possible intentions. I ignored him at first but he then made a sexual suggestion and reference to my penis. I told him forcibly to desist, in strong language, but he continued to stare at me. Finishing my pee, I put my penis back in my underpants and trousers and made to leave but he put his hand on my shoulder impeding my progress. I hit him hard with my fist sending him sprawling on the urine soaked floor and left the toilet very angry and feeling defiled. I am neither proud nor ashamed of this incident and my response which I would say would have been similar in most heterosexual males. Ironically the gay men I mentioned this to at ! a later time were annoyed by the man who accosted me saying that he was the type of behaviour which gets gays a bad name and engenders hostility in the straight community. If "Outrage" are stupid enough to start a campaign to allow cottaging, ( and I cannot think why anyone would use a smelly gents toilet as a place for romantic encounters) I feel they will bring coals of fire down on their own heads with a very nasty backlash and increased Police activity against them. What consenting adults do in private is no problem, but it should be private and not inflicted on those who do not wish to participate. Since the late 1960s in the UK there have been plenty of more appropriate places where gay men can make contact etc. Like Nicola, I have no problem with a solitary man masturbating in a toilet stall with a closed door. Unless he does it like George Michael in a doorless toilet he causes no offence to anyone. As others have said, removing urinals and replacing them with toilet p! ans in cubicles with lockable doors would cure the problem of men being accosted and the nasty smell in Gents toilets and accommodate both excretory functions avoiding accidents to men unable to use the few occupied cubicles when needing a motion.
Public Toilet Hater, stick to the diet despite the toilet blocking problem. Its ironic that some people who read this page will consider this as anything BUT a problem and will copy your diet to accomplish producing bigger motions.
Ladee, like other Brits some of the American terminology for defecation comes strange to me. To "make" a number two is weird to my ears, but the phrase "to make a potty" is off the wall! I have visions of the subject moulding clay and fashioning a chamber pot. The phrases I can recall from childhood apart from the commonplace do a motion or do a jobbie, have a poo, do a number two or go big jobs were "drop a bomb (or a brick)" "lay an egg" , do my "business" , in the Book "Scouting for ! Boys" there was the quaint "have a daily clear" . I must say that Theresa and I have adopted that one as it is amusing and I will ask her "Theresa, have you had your daily clear yet?" and vice versa.
Adrian, I agree with Nicola that if your Aunt Anne wore white cotton interlock briefs of the type my mum wears and wore when I was a kid then she could have done a poo in them without it showing as long as she was wearing a reasobably loose fitting skirt and didnt sit down after doing it. From my experiences I think that the other two explanations are more likely, wither that she had done a very smelly soft motion which she hadnt totally wiped properly from her bum, or had farted a smelly fart which the cotton of her knckers had absorbed. I have experienced this for myself and Theresa when either of us have been a bit flatulent and the farty smell has hung around in the seat of our panties for ages afterwards.
I don't think I'll be able to try this diet, atleast not until I live on my own. I'm only 14 and I'm not going to all of a sudden only drink water and eat only certain foods. I don't buy the food or cook it so I can't use this until I get much older. It sounds so interesting though. Did your doctor warn you about having large stools?
This is my first post here. I just found this site & think it's great.
Hello all! Now that it's been ages since all the talk of pilonidal cysts... I guess I'll finally get on with my story. Everybody I know who has had this problem (and everyone who posted here) had to get theirs surgically removed. Not me. I was 19 years old when I got it and I didn't really know what it was. I thought it was a boil or something, just in a very difficult place. It was so painful that I had to take a few days off from work. I couldn't walk, sit or stand. There was only one position I could lie down in that would alleviate the pain. Upon my mom's suggestion I took many hot baths thinking that it would help. I also spent a few days squeezing the thing trying to pop it. Sorry if this story is too gross. It hurt like hell to do this but I could swear I saw the cyst slowly but surely coming to a head. By the third day of all this I got totally fed up. I got a sterile pin and began poking at it. This hurt way too much so I had to stop. Then after what I vowed would be ! my last warm bath I planned to take care of it once and for all. I stood looking at it in the mirror and finally said to myself, "I'm gonna squeeze this with all my might, no matter how much it hurts". So I got up the courage an did it. Bingo! I immediately felt a ton of relief as this "pimple" on my butt crack spewed the nastiest discharge I've ever seen. It continued to drain blood and lord-knows-what over the next several days. So hey, I lost only a few days pay and a weeks worth of underwear after all. And I performed my own surgery, darn it!!! After this was all over I then learned that this problem I had is very common and requires surgery to be taken care of. Ha,ha! Am I the only lunatic in the world who ever did this? I'd really like to know.
Before I go: Jarod- your stories are the greatest. Please keep 'em coming. The quotes from Chuck just kill me. "Got a monster at the gate, dude" has got to be my favorite so far. Thanks for sticking around this forum. I a! gree that censorship F'IN sucks (ha!) but you know, I don't think you're gonna find a better forum than this elsewhere. I enjoy everybody's stories, in fact. I've been reading here for about 10 months now and this is my first post. Actually, my first post didn't get by the moderator but that's another story. Funny, I often notice things posted here that should have not been allowed (according to the rules in the FAQ section). What would you call that? Discrimination, maybe? I guess the moderator just goes by whatever mood he (she?) is in that day. Whatever. See ya guys... Bungholio