Anne
I am wondering if anyone out there gets real embarrassed by the expressions they get on their faces when they are having a bowel movement. I share an apartment with three other girls and since we have only one bathroom we agreed the let each other use the sink or shower even if one of us is going to the bathroom. I didn't think this would be a problem because I am pretty comfortable with my body and don't have any difficulty using public bathrooms, even to have a bowel movement. I assumed the only difference would be that my roomates would be able to see me with my dress hiked up or my pants pulled down and that doesn't really bother me. What I didn't count on is the fact that they can see my face --and that they seem to consider toilet time to be social hour. It takes me a while to move my bowels, and I tend to grunt and sigh and my face gets all grimacy. And while I don't mind chatting a little, I also feel a little self conscious getting into a serious conversation (yeste! rday's literature class or whether or not one or the other of us is doing enough cleaning) while my anal ring is fully distended I have an eight inch piece of excrement sticking out of my bottom. The other girls don't seem to have this problem, but then their bowel movements seem much less strenuous. If it wasn't for the fact that their panties were around their knees, a look of intense concentration, and perhaps an occasional discreet "hmmph" you would never know they were defecating. I don't want to mess up our arrangement because it is the only way we are all going to get out to class on time in the morning, but I also feel VERY embarrassed. Any ideas?Samantha
When I was twelve my family and I were in the car early Christmas morning driving to my grandparents house. We almost didn't go, because it was snowing so hard, but decided to go anyway. We were on the highway and I started having bad stomach cramps and gas. We weren't getting above forty miles an hour. The road wasn't too bad, but you couldn't see well. I said to my Dad we have to stop as soon as we can, I really have to go to the bathroom. He said we'll stop for breakfast soon. The cramps got really, really bad and after a few minutes, I let out this wet fart and crapped my pants. My brother and sister went, eww gross, Samantha farted. I was the only one who knew I had crapped a little too. It was cold so we couldn't roll down the windows, so the car was very stinky. The cramps didn't go away, though, and I crapped more. My ponties were close to overflowing, and I was suspending myself above the seat so it wouldnt squish against my butt. Finally we got to a Ho! ward Johnson's. We got out of the car and I went through my bag and grabbed new underpants and new jeans. I ran inside. I went in the women's room and into the first stall. I yanked my pants down and sat on the toilet and crapped my brains out. It was so horrible, I almost cried. I guess most of the crap was stuck between my cheeks, because my panties just had one small glop of poop in the seat. I finished crapping, wiped my ass and took off my pants and shitty panties. It turned out I didn't need to change my jeans, but I did anyway. By the time I got back outside, my whole family had pretty much guessed what happened. My dad said, it happens to the best of us! It was pretty bad, and I had to crap again when we got to my grandparents. I had diarrhea all weekend.
The Shithouse Poet
No Poem Today, but since it's been so long since I posted, I thought I would share a true story with you. I have a friend that is an Italian-American. He was born here in the U.S., but his dad emmigrated from Italy. He has an uncle that still lives in the "Old Country" and visits them here once or twice a year. His uncle speaks no English and cannot read or write English. Last year he came over for his visit and was telling Joe that he had been having a problem with his hemmoroids. Joe directed him to the medicine cabinet where, he said, there was a white tube with red letters. It was, of course Preperation H or a generic form of it. The old man went into the toilet and came out a after a few minutes screaming and yelling a whole series of new cuss words in Italian. Joe ran to the bathroom to see what might have happened. There, in the medicine cabinet was the still unopened tube of Preperation H in a white tube with red letters. Sitting on the tub next to the toilet was a w! hite tube with a large red label: "Ben-Gay"! I guess that really fixed his hemmoroids!
Eric in Chicago
Twice shy: it's hardly unusual for a little seminal fluid, or one of its components (semen is actually only mixed together at the last minute) to come out when straining to shit. It never happens to me when I'm sitting on the toilet, but it sometimes happens if I'm going in my pants or going outdoors. Probably something to do with the angle I'm bent at in those cases.
Potty Pooper: feeling faint or "buzzed" when standing or sitting usually means that your blood pressure is too low. Sometimes that can be caused by not drinking enough fluids. Sometimes it can be due to a problem with the autonomic nervous system; it may be that you had such a problem that you eventually grew out of.
Brian (Cleveland): I'm pretty convinced that the reason sports drinks often have lots of blue coloring is that it appeals to kids (and kids at heart) who get a kick out of seeing their shit turn green or blue (10-14 yo boys are probably the biggest "market" for this). Gatorade just came out with "all stars" which are small (8 ounce) bottles aimed at kids. One of the flavors is bright green and the other is bright blue.
Good luck trying to get different colors of shit. You're going to have a hard time getting purple (if you do, you've gotta tell us how you did it!) because shit usually contains a lot of yellow pigment (it doesn't look yellow because it mixes with a red bile-derived pigment to form brown or with blue food coloring to form green) and it's hard to get purple with that much yellow. You can make maroon shit by eating lots of beets, though, and it can look almost purple. Alas, it turns brown after a few minutes of exposure to air.
I made orange shit once, but I had to drink about 5 bottles of orange food coloring to do it. I doubt you could get that much from sports drinks. What does work for orange shit is lycopene which is the stuff that makes tomatoes red. Sometimes I can get orange shit from eating lots of tomato sauce. If you wanted to spend the money, you could get some lycopene capsules at a health-food store (it's supposed to reduce the risk of prostate cancer) and take a whole bunch of them.
I find that red food coloring doesn't change the color of my shit, but it apparently does in some other people.
Roberta: a "split stream" can be caused by variations in the shape of the "edges" of the meatus (the hole in a guy's penis) or just by lint, hair, or other crud getting into the hole. It's very common for a penis to have a bend; the penis is filled with a sponge-like tissue that fills up with blood when it gets hard, and it's not perfectly symmetric; if one side has a little more spongy tissue than the other, the result is a bend. Contrary to popular superstition, the direction of the bend has nothing to do with which hand a boy uses to masturbate; the tissue of the penis isn't a muscle and can't be developed the way muscles can.
It's possible that the scarring was the result of surgery; some boys are born with a meatus that doesn't fully open or similar problems that have to be corrected surgically shortly after birth.
wetguy
What word does everyone usually use to refer to peeing. For instance, when you have to "pee", do you say that, or use some other term such as piss or urinate? It probably has to do with one's age too, as most guys my age (17/m) would say that they have to piss. However, my brother's friend, who's 14, always says, "I have to urinate" half to sound funny and half not, I guess. So what do you say? Personally, I usually say that I have to pee or I have to piss.
Also, I dont know if anyone saw yesterday's episode of "Dragnet", but there was a very brief reference to peeing pants, although it didnt really have to do with what was going on. This young good-looking guy probably about 20 years old was being questioned by the detective and was telling about certain people his age on the streets of LA that he dealt with. He said something like, "Imagine this guy's life. He has to live near a dumpster for food and he's forced to piss himself to stay warm." Thought that was kind of cool, wish I taped it. I know, nothing major, but worth mentioning. I'd definitely piss my pants to stay warm! Anyone else see it?
That's all for now.
-wetguy
Michael
Let me see. Well I've been into pooping and peeing since I've been off diapers. I used to go 1 and 2 in my underwear sitting on the toilet. And Even if I wasn't messing I've always enjoyed a good poo or pee when I was alone. Most of the time I love how my poop and farts smell. Of course I've always wanted to share this with someone.
About a year into my relationship with my current gf, I divulged my love for this. She took it well and initially agreed to try some of these things for me. She really didn't get around to any of them except one that sticks in my mind. One time she was taking a bath and when she was done she stood up, facing the wall, and peed into the bath. I think this was the only time I ever got to see he pee come out of her. Since those times, I frequently stand in the bathroom with her when she poops or pees. She keeps her legs closed so I never get to see it coming out of her (which is dissapointing). Sometimes she likes me to sit on her lap when she poos which is fun.wetguy
A few replies now, I'll have a couple other things in my post to follow...
To Aleesh - Liked your story.
To ucgenie - Thanks for your reply. That may be true, I actually hadn't thought of that.
To DeepCloudNine - I am 17/m and from Massachusetts, and like you, I very rarely piss into actual toilets while in public. I usually use urinals, and if there are none available, I'll usually just hold it unless I have to piss real bad. At home, I'll piss into the toilet standing up though. I hate disgusting bathrooms too, but when you gotta pee, you gotta pee...
To Bryian - Yea like I said i think it usually runs down the left leg for me, though if I have to go wicked bad, it will soak both legs. Glad you liked the story.
To Roberta - Don't really know what to tell you except that maybe it's some mediacal condition that may have to be dealt with by a professional. I will tell you that once in ahwile when pissing, my strem breiefly splits into two pieces, but only for like a second at most. This almost always happens after I've been holding it for awhile and really have to go.
-wetguy
O.D.
Good morning,
I am extremely bored so I figured I would leave a line. I went camping last weekend and figured out something. When camping season is out of season, the toilet facilities go to shit. I should say that when I go camping, I refuse to use the facilities. However, I went down south to Oklahoma over the weekend and I couldn't find a proper campsite, so I pitched my sent out by the parking lot of the day area, which led to no cover if anyone decided to visit the same spot (not likely this time of year, but it could happen). Anyway, when I woke for my morning shit, I went to the facilities. They had been locked prior and somebody had kicked in the door and shattered the toilets and wrecked the whole innards of the building, both mens and womens rooms. So I did the obvious, I joined in what may have ten people making the same discovery and crapped out behind it. There were piles of shit and tissue everywhere, so I figured one more would'nt hurt. That't it for now.
O.D.
To :Toronto Traveller
Hey,
Just a message to the person who wrote the post the other day about their family trip across Canada and how their 15 year old sister had a poop accident just outside of Toronto, Ontario and unfortunately she had decided in advance not to wear a diaper (yikes).
Just wondered, are you m or f? How did you make out on that trip? I've been to Ontario before and usually the rest stops are few and far between, not like out west. So if you are wet, better not do it too much though or you'll leak big time. I use the same trick with wearing a diaper cause when you do finally get a rest stop usually theres a major lineup for the ladies or its absolutely filthy and girls have peed and stuff all over the seats.
It's also unsafe if you have to pull over at the side of the highway and go run behind a bush to squat. Diapers are way better for that so you can keep driving.
the "HOLD IT" man
Uncle Alen, that was a gross invasion of your privacy, and I would have been very angry. In fact, I would have started yelling at him to get lost, and I most likely would have lost it then and there.
There is a situation where demanding your right to privacy is not wrong, and I would have done what ever it takes. The guy may have been drunk, or on drugs, or he may have been another John Wayne Gacy in the mnaking.
In any case scenario, doors are put on public restroom stalls for the sake of privacy, and it is wrong, and illegal to invade that privacy. At the very least, I would have allerted the security persons at that mall or what ever that place was where this happened.
Michael M
HEY UNCLE ALLEN
Theres no doubt or hesitation in my mind that I would have notified the nearest store associate to call the store manager and let him know you have a lurker in the mens room. He might have been harmless or a pervert of some kind. He might have been waiting for some young boy to walk and and casue some trouble. The fact he asked for a nickle is like an excuse to hang around and I dont think you had to pay to get in a stall anyhow. Just for fun Id go back sometimes and see if the creep was around. I still would notify the store by phone so they can keep a lookout for people who go in and like never come out or lurkers.
You might save someone some big trouble.
M
Thomas
Uncle Allen:
Concerning the mall experience, I have been there and done that (see my story circa page 1009 for more detail). You handled it better than I did in the same situation.
Ironically, it seems that the more privacy that mens' restrooms have, the more likely one is to be the subject of unwanted "spectators". For example, see my previous stories starting on page 971 about my soccer teammates and our "team turdings" where privacy is basically non existent. The difference is that we are there for the intended purpose (and a little sophomoric male bonding toilet humor to expedite the process) and none of us have ever had any such problem.
Although I am straight, I nave nothing against what other men do on their own terms in their own place, however, that is where such things should be done, not to an audience that does not care to entertain it.
Peace
I was at the mall need to poop
I was at the mall one day and need to poop really bad so i always wear a mini skirt to the mall and they have the flower things in the mall with 3 kids it is hard to get them all in the stall so I was by a planted and told them we were going to sit a few minutes so we sat by the planter so i did not have any panties on so i sat so if i had to peepee i could ..... So i sat there with my butt hanging over in the planter so I sat there and my daughter friends came over to talk to her and as i sat there trying to shit and cant get one started when u have to grunt and u dont want to make that face when u have to grunt .... So I sat there a few minutes and ohhh my son said mom are u ok i said yes son i am sorry i am kinda busy he said ok mom ..... So i continued to sit there I pushed a time or to and grunted some more and my daughter friends parents came by i said ohhhh yeah hi ..... I started to get up to greet her friends i did not get up i felt the turd try to pick out my crack! hole .... so i sat there i started to pee some and I pushed it came out a inch and hurt badly to .... So my daughter wanted me to get up and go with her and her friends and parents i said i am tried give me a little bit and I will ..... So as i continued the turd kept coming out bad and it was fat and dummpy so i sat there the security office told me i need to move i told him when i got done i will he said please move now I said officer I cant move he asked me why I said I am busy here he said what are u doing i said dummping and he said u are what I said I am doing a turd he said "no way " I said oh yeah ..... I said hold on a sec and i will show u i am so a crowd walk by and my daughter friends walked away i raised over and showed my 9 inch turd solid rock still hanging in my ass..... so I let it drop and made it to the bathroom to finish and wiping my ass and it was a cool adventure ....
mall pooper
coyote
about that question if the unisex testroom was empty? yes it sure was at the time. and that question about if anyone thought I " sounded like a girl" ? I don't know, but no one was waiting to use the restroom after I finished. there are two restrooms at that church's meeting rooms, and both are " whoever gets there first as the seat goes BOTH WAYS ! LOL !" guys=UP PLEASE![ this includes the " stand up girls" too ! very true ! ] {one for the girls, right? LOL } there was this one time back while living in Orlando, florida. I was out bicycling in this small town called montverde, FL out in the hills of lake county and just came back into town where the car was parked. anyway, I stopped into this convienence store to pee[ IT IS A STATE LAW IN FLORIDA, that ONE restroom must be OPEN to the public at any food store/gas station, etc. ] and used the unisex [ one] restroom . I went in and locked the door. then, I pulled down my bike shorts and sat to urinate, just to see how it felt! to be a girl. and so I peed for about maybe 45 seconds or so, my golden urine making a semi-loud tinkling noise as it hit the toilet bowl water right in front, turning the water a golden yellow and making some foam as well. I stopped, and then , I think, I peed about 3 short, quick tinkles lasting about maybe 4 secs each [ total time of urination: 60 seconds. ] . the toilet had this intensely yellow foamy urine in it and then I flushed the toilet, pulled up my bike shorts, washed up and , unlocking the door, left and went to the soda fountain, this cute youngish[ maybe 20-21] country girl with this southern accent waiting to use the restroom says " sounded like a guy, I knew it! " . I then asked her " what does a GIRL SOUND LIKE HUH???" she didn't answer,just smiled at me and walked in , locked, and pissed in the toilet. as I was filling my soda, I think I could hear this "whissss" and then a splashing tinkle through the door and it sounded like a wide splash into the toil! et water which filled the bowl right to the front pretty much, and it maybe lasted about 30 seconds or so. then she stopped and flushed and came out about the time I was just fixing to pay for my soda. we did not say anything more to each other, just a passing glance and a smile . she had me wondering what it would like like to see a woman urinate into the toilet for years to come and I had to wonder if she to, made foam as she urinated into the toilet water?
Barefooter
At the university I attend, there is a students center. Basically, it is this large building containing all of the necessities (food, offices, entertainment). Well, downstairs near the cafeteria of the UC, as it is called, there is a large, men's restroom. You enter into the sink area containing six sinks, turn right and the actual restroom is through a doorway. On the wall containing the doorway, in the restroom, there are lined up, six urinals, three on each side of the door. The opposite wall contains six toilet stalls, all connected, with doors a little less than shoulder high. It is such that one can see into the stall when one stands next to a door. Generally, I have my daily dump in this restroom as it is convenient to my class rooms. I have noticed however, there are a lot of odd things that occur in this restroom. Last semester, in August, I entered the restroom as normal, went into the 5th stall, closed the door, and dropped trou. As I began to let this one go, I h! eard something next door in stall 6. There are several holes in the partitions from what I believe were screws to hold old TP racks. These holes have been enlarged by pencils and things, so that you can peer through them a bit. That should have been my first clue that something was wrong here. Half way through my crap, I heard the noises again, like rustling sounds. So, I decided to look through the holes. Sure enough, the guy in the next stall was going at himself! I became quite tense, but I was able to shake it off. I decided to have a little fun, if I was gonna have to go in such conditions. As usual, I was wearing sandals (hence my name), so I decided to scrunch my toes up as if I were pushing real hard. Sure enough, the guy picked up the pace. Well, I was significantly freaked out, so I finished up and left.
Today, I had the strangest experience of all in this restroom. Actually, I was in the same stall. Well, I had been sitting there for a while, not getting much done. Today I felt quite constipated and was pushing with all my might to produce a few pebble like turds. About 10 minutes into my dump, I looked down and to the left towards stall 4. I saw, under the partition, looking right back at me, a man's face. He had his whole head under the partition and he was watching me go. I have no clue how long he had been there. I gave him the f... off look, and he stared for almost 10 seconds before retreating. I wiped got up, went to the sinks, and he did the same, so I made a quick exit to get away. Yikes, whats up with this restroom?
Uncle Allen: That second story was for you. How strange is it that would happen to me the same day you posted your similar experience?
Roberta: Sounds like to me that your brother suffers from Peyronie's disease. Its a bend in the penis caused by scar tissue. Generally, the tissue develops from an infection. Its not life threatening or anything, but there isn't an accepted cure either.
For Roberta
This is Michael M, I read your post about your brother and his penis problem. Its sounds like he has a birth defect that causes him to have a hole at the tip of his penis and one under. So when he pees it goes in two directions. Then bending problem is sorta common, but I urge that he see a doctor about it. Id be surprised if he didnt know about the problem and had seen a doctor long ago. In most causes I think they can fix the problem. It can cause problems later on with sex and other issues.
I took some time to check on ??? health and look up penis and tried to find the disorder but I think you have to hit on one of the major University Hospital sites like Cleveland Clinic, or Univ of Flordia medical school and the likes. You can get the info you want there.
The name of the condition escapes me at the moment, its Hydro-something and it refers to having two outlets for peeing.
Its good you have an interest in his well being and you should convince him to see a urologist.
Probably other readers on this board might have more info and some suggestions.
Hope this helps...
MichaelRizzo
Uncle Allen, I would have felt as uncomfortable as you did, and I would have reacted the same way, got out of there quickly. I would have felt cornered, in a vulnerable position; even worse than having to stop at a red light and have some chaps starting to wipe the windscreen against my wishes and then asking for money. Only your encounter was more sinister, it being in a public toilet.
Katrina
Punk Rock Girl:
Usualy when you eat more fibor and v?????s, your poops tend to be easier to push out. I don't know what gives here, but you might want to try adding some esparagas, green beans and lettuce to your diet. That should go right through you with out giving you diareah.
Uncle Allen:
That sounds very scary. I would try to avoid that rest room all together if possible. There's no telling what you may be getting yourself into.
Hold it man:
That is disgusting to say the least, and I think the guy who crapped out the window did it because he thought it was 'cute and funny' to gross people out. By the way, I hope the moderators don't mind an off-topic question, but I am curious, what is a power amp, and what is a cartridge for. I know it has something to do with stereo equipement, but I am just a little curious.
Aleesh;
I am sure you made Noah's night. I love the expressions I see on guys faces when they see me take a piss. I'm in a threesom with a guy and a girl, and he has the weakest bladder of all three of us. We love how it makes him to see us gush out pee like he could never do.
Somekindofchick:
As an RN, I know how important it is to wash hands after using the toilet. In fact, it's not a bad idea to wash your hands every 2 or 3 hours or so, or even after handling objects that were handled by other people. People have no idea how germs are transfered through the hands.
Now for a story, which I haven't had a chance to tell in a while. Recently, we had a little bit of a snow flurry, and we allways use salt to clear up the stairs at both the front and back doors. It was not very cold, but the stairs had about half an inch of snow. My bf was there, and he usualy does most of the snow removal work. He shoveled up the front walk, and put salt on the steps, and was headed back to do the back steps when Angie came up with the idea of melting the snow by peeing on it. We figured that we needed a higher salt content in our pee for it to be effective, so we all started drinking orange juice and salt water, and we held for as long as we could. as is usualy the case, our bf did not last as long as we did, but he managed to melt away a small area in front of the steps. Angie and I managed to hold out for a little over 8 hours of drinking Gagorde, fruit juices and salt water, then we were both bursting. We decided to go one at a time. Angie w! as a bit more desperate then I was, so she went first. She started at the bottom stair, letting rip a dark yellow rope of pee that went on for over two minutes. As it hissed out of her, the snow imediately gave way to her flood, revealing the rest of the area at the bottom where our bf had missed, and the entire bottom step. There was only the top step and two more for me. When angie had finished, I let loose a similar ropy jet, and again as the urin flowed down the stairs in an amber water fall, the snow just disapeared. The acryd smell was very strong, even though we were out side. The back stairs were completely cleared of snow long before I was finished with my pee, which lasted a little longer t hen angies. The piss wend down the sides of the stair case and melted two small areas next to it. By the time I was finished, there was no sign that it had ever snowed on those stairs, and steam from my hot piss was rising up off ot them. The piss soaked into the pourou! s concrete steps, and later dried up before it had a chance to freez. Our bf put a little salt on them just to be safe.jim
i went to my moms office the other day cause it snowed and school was closed. and i sat at the table in her office and drew pictures. she said she had to go to a meeting down the hall and would be back. i had to pee but not bad yet. i sat there drawing and then i really had to pee. i got up and looked out the door and people were walking around. i didnt see the bathrooms, i thought they were down a hallway. i was afraid to walk out there so i decided to wait for mom to come back. i sat back down and had my hands holding it. then i couldnt hold it. i got up and looked out again. and decided to run to the hallway. i opened the door and ran. i turned the corner but i didnt see the bathrooms. i started going in my pants while i was running to look at doors. then i saw people coming so i stood against the wall with my back turned hoping they woulnd see and someone touched my back and said arnt you jim and i turned around and said yes. they said they work with my mom and then she ! noticed my wet clothes. she asked if i needed help. i told her i coulnt find the bathroom. she said it was downstairs. i said oh. iwent back to my moms office i tried to hide my wet spot with a piece of paper. i sat down and mom came back later. she asked if i needed anything and i said no and started drawing. then it was time to go. i was still pretty wet i had jeans on and they dont dry real fast. i got up and put my coat on. my coat kinda covered half of the wet spot. mom didnt notice. we walked down the hall and people were looking at me so i walked fast, mom kept saying slow down. then we got to the car and i got in and sat down. mom got in and looked over at me and saw my wet spot. she said whats that, why are you wet. then i told her the story. she wasnt mad this time. so we wnet home, i got a shower. mom made me wash out my clothes in the bathtub, but it was ok. i did mess them so i guess i had to clean them. well gotta go. by
italy
Yesterday I went to a party in the hall of an hotel.
I ate there with my friends and, at one moment, I felt the urge to take a dump; I told to my friends:" I go to the toilets".
They both told me they had to poop and when we arrived, we saw only a bathroom!
We had to poop really bad and started to run: I won an went in the bathroom before them.
While I was pooping they told me to hurry a lot of times but when I went away from the toilet and told them to go, they both answered that they couldn't wait and pooped their pants! I was shocked and checked their pants: they both were brown.
Suddenly we went away and I tried to hid theyr brown pants but a boy saw all that and told her mother.
She was disgusted, but fortunaly didn't tell anything and we returned home.
Monday, February 10, 2003
Bryian
To *Aleesh*: Loved your story about your friend...have you seen him poop before?
To Uncle Allen: You have every right to feel weird about that guy, once a guy looked at my from under a stall, stuck his head under there and i ran out of that bathroom in such a hurry, so it can happen.
To Grace: Liked your story.
To Roberto: I've never squated over the bowl..sounds cool though.
To Michael M: Loved your story..are your grown now?
To DeepCloudNine: Liked your story about the bathrooms..cool
To Bucket: Thats cool about the smell.
To Office poopers: Enjoyed your story.
To wanted to frame it: Sounds like a nice dump you had
To roberta: That is intresting about your brother..don't know why..cool experience at your friends place.
To wetguy: I sometimes flush the toilet when im peeing..if im in a hurry.
To fartdude: Enjoyed hearing about your intrests.
To Annie and Robby: Thanks for loving my stories.
To greasy: Sounds like a nice dump...in a dirty bathroom
To Matt: Im also jewish and from Md too...liked your story too.
Little Poo
When I was about 7 or 8 I had problems keeping the seat of my briefs clean because I didn't wipe my bottom properly after a poo. The problem persisted so much that my mum eventually took her slipper to my bare bottom everytime I had dirty underpants. Several sore bottoms later I started to take more care and my underpants became more acceptably clean again, though with the odd brown streak when I did a wet fart or scratched my backside through my clothes.
Has anyone else on the board being given a smacked bottom for such matters?
Felix
Felix’s (15 year old male) poo log
Date and Time: 10 Feb at 15h45
Place: My girlfriend’s house
Quantity: A monster coil of soft poo, broken into lots of 4 / 5 inch pieces.
Texture: Soft, and beaking up.
Colour: Light brown
Farts: Huge wet farts at the start (in fact a wet fart had left a big brown spot on my jockeys, and wet poo’y farts all the way through.
Smell: Left the toilet stinky – my girlfriend couldn’t go in for about 10 minutes afterwards, and had to pee in the sink (everyone else was out)
Skid marks: Great skid marks.
Comments: A huge dump – I didn’t poo yesterday, so it was really full up – almost had cramps when I went.
Satisfaction factor: 9/10
Rank the following as to how they add to your satisfaction over a good poo.
* lack of wipeage
* release of pressure
* location of toilet
* clean breakage
* sense of accomplishment
* reading
* time alone
* Wiping
* The struggle
* The payoff
* The splashdown
* cleanliness
* firm, but, not too firm
* lots of it.
* float vs. sink quality
* unconstipation
* Satifaction with completing a task at hand
* The worse the smell the better
* quick release
* solid consistency
* not too smelly
* leaving it flushed but with great skid marks
* leaving it unflushed
* leaving bits and pieces
* good farts
* lots of loud straining
Felix’s poo log
Date and Time: 11 Feb at 5h45
Place: Home
Quantity: A HUGE poo of wet slop.
Texture: Sloppy sticky.
Colour: Almost black
Farts: Lots and lots of explosive farts
Smell: Smelt GREAT. Lingered for ever afterwards
Skid marks: Because of the way it exploded out of my bum I managed to get lots of marks, and a big dollop of poo just under the seat, and a big stripe of poo down the back of the toilet.
Comments: One flush left about 3 flaky floaters and a big poo stripe down the back. Left it like that so that my family could admire it as well.
Satisfaction factor: 10/10
Hey Matthew glad you enjoy the logs – how about starting your own?
Twice Shy
Fragrances afield
I continue to find the stench associated with my ordinary urination to be a matter of some curiosity, but also a possible future problem with hygiene, should I ever live intimately with another.
I was camping once and finally realized that I should go take a pee, since it was getting late. I went to my usual spot in the bushes behind the tent, so I wouldn't be seen by kids waving their Mag-Lites around (something my father said was not at all polite, by the way, when we were kids). I liberated Mr. Jerry and began to void what I calculated to be a rather concentrated holding, since I'd not gone in awhile and had been sweating during the day.
But gosh awlmighty, what WAS that putrid stench, arising to meet my face at about the same time the piss stream began landing at the base of an irregularly-shaped old tree? Was it the smell of highly-concentrated liquid waste, as might well be marking my territory if I were a carnivorous being? Or could this raunchiness be floating solely from the flaccid hull of my fetid offshoot down there? I seem to recall having showered that morning before leaving, so if a man can get that way in just a regular day, I'd better be showering in the future if any others are to have access to my tumescent tube. Whenever I finish in this scenario, there is still something left of the odor, only this is typically while the piss is still there too, either in the urinal or on the ground.
I had read as a kid about men who'd not been circumcised as I had at birth (though as a Gentile, in the hospital). It seems one can develop a stench from smegma, as it's called, forming between glans and foreskin. Maybe while exerting one's self in the pitching of a tent, even a "cut" man can build up this kind of nasty ambience. I'm pretty sure than human urine can get quite an odor, though, and one to rival one's shit-stink at times, too. I must watch the ripeness of that pendulous fruit, though, if it is indeed the other. This is beyond pheromones, and on to something that just doesn't do in ANY polite situation.