Don't be these people

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These items are here to bring to light some of the habits and practices of some people who post. People who do this are a small [but growing] portion of posters. Since this site has been around, social media has appeared, and become an instant gratified race to the bottom. It does not reflect common courtesy, or healthy human relationships. It is now an impediment to people who need to find help with serious real world problems. This document sat for years. We refused to print it. Until the last few years, so many things seemed to, not need saying. Now the amount of time and energy needed to weed out spam, fraudulent posts, well exceeds the time spent on the good. The only reason this was published was in hopes that it will enable those needing help, to go out and find it, and those who are just mean and evil, go out and do some soul searching. Please, if you are having problems, go to the nearest emergency room. Call 911 if needed. Call the National Suicide Prevetion Hotline 1-800-273-8255 This may be your only chance. If your problems are non life threatening, talk to a counselor, [legitimate] minister or the like. Trust their judgment about treatment. What you are doing is not living. It gets better. Many need to turn off the computer, phone etc. and come back to the real world.

1. Don't be the Whiner
Some people, sadly have no other function than to whine. Guess folks like this don't pee or have a butthole. Maybe that is why they are so unpleasant and have nothing to talk about. Jokes aside, they are miserable inside. Simmering with self loathing, they want all as broken as them. They often make assumptions about who is or isn't posting what, and why. Others never have anything constructive to say. Many take the time to get on the innernet' just to tear people apart. Either way, that's all they ever post, most of what they post, or a reoccurring theme in their posts. Why do you need to tear down others to exist? Are you so certain you are right, that we should we post your mean post? How about all the other mean posts. They say they are right too. When the next mean person starts in on you, what has been accomplished? Where does that human centipede end? Stop spreading your misery. Your opinion, of you opinion is over rated. It isn't your job or place to tear people up. If you need to do that to cope, you need help to bring yourself up, in the real world not to bring others down on social media. Take the intro to heart. Some of youse' doing this have calls to make.

The other side of this one is: If someone chooses to believe the sky is green they are entitled to their opinion. When they believe, methods be damned, rules be damned, common sense be damned, common courtesy be damned, conventions be damned, others are obligated to discriminate their opinion, the line must be drawn somewhere. What happens when that opinion is injurious, nonsensical, inappropriate, or lewd. What happens when the opinion is designed to troll or be cantankerous? We try to maintain the standards we have put forth. Most of those standards come from the golden rule. Should we compromise because you feel entitled to your opinion?

2. Don't be he mean girl(s)
There is always a gang of bullies around. Usually, they know each other in real life. They are nearly always teenage females. They start out nice and gung-ho about posting, they are even well liked at first. Behind the scenes, they have an increasing number of unsuccessful posts (a la #1) that berate others, and have nothing to do with the forum. Finally they end up trying to dictating who should post, how they should post and what they should post.

3. Don't be the pompous jerkoff/center of the universe/chosen one
This is the one item on the list that does actually get posted. It isn't against the rules, but, these are people sadly are taking this more serious than we are. Everything is a major production. They are in a class all by themselves. No one ever responds to their posts, because they just don't know how.. Post with humility.

4. Don't be illiterate
This category isn't rooted in malice and it isn't caused by the lack of a shift key on most mobile devices. It isn't people who can't spell, and whose grammar isn't perfect. It comes from people who just won't assemble a sentence without putting holes in the fabric of space. Don't confuse this with bad English. Bad English implies that a person can carry on a complete thought with competency in another language. Instead, this is the complete lack of coherent or recognizable ideas. These are posts that just don't make sense:
-Pages without punctuation.
-Comma splices that go on for miles (with or without commas).
-Thought without meaning.
-Ideas that are indistinguishable from the background noise.
-Most of the words are still wrong even after spell checking.
-Others, are simply too damn lazy to enunciate, and punctuate.

If you can't be bothered to take the time to write it, or push the extra keys on your smarty phone contraption, why should we ask people to take the time to read it ????????

5. The stream of unconsciousness
This one also may include aspects of #4 Some people spend hours on end posting, what we'll put a smile on, and hope is a stream of consciousness. This one can span hundreds of posts and last years on end. Frequently nothing they post makes sense. They post non sequiturs and fragments. It is understandable that people have various developmental disabilities and other issues. However, these same people are perfectly capable of writing out their ideas. It is a matter of them slowing down, taking a moment to collect their thoughts, and sort their ideas. For those of you in this category, it isn't about changing who you are, or being someone else, think of this exercise as lubricating what you already have. Ask yourself, what needs to be expounded on? What should be a new paragraph? What is not related to the story? When is less more? Again, look at what is posted here. Take an average of people's writing styles. Look at the posters who respond to multiple people, and tell multiple stories in every post. We understand, it is going to be harder for some people. Don't give up on yourself. Learning the tools to function better, makes life better and easier.

For others, it may be their reality, which is really sad, since they are clearly cycling rapidly, high, all alone, and or loosely in touch with reality.

6. Don't be the off subject poster
People fail to understand how destructive off subject posts are. When most, or a large portion of a post isn't about you [or someone else] relieving yourself, trying to relieve yourself, trying not to relieve yourself, etc. It is off subject. Usually this is as low as 30-40% off subject by volume, because set-up and closing might be 10-20% of a post. Add these two items up and half of the post isn't on topic. Multiply that by post after post, and page after page and you get an idea where this is headed.

-You are not tweeting every non bathroom real life detail of your day.
-This isn't verbal Instagram
-This isn't verbal Pinterest either
-You are not showing off bling.

And now we get into the most serious infractions. The what were they thinkings. Above this line, bad manners, below anything goes.

7. Don't be Desperate
This one is usually the shortest lived. Some people want to talk to you. Baaaaaaaaaadly. Some try to talk to you a hundred times a day. Some people need or want something real bad. They beg and grovel and never get posted. Seriously. How does this look? How would a forum full of this look? Ax' yourself:
Would you want to be on the receiving end of someone doing this?
Would you want your sister/daughter/wife to be approached by dudes doing this?
Would you come to a site to read the fantasies and desires of others [even/especially if that's not what it is about]?
When you speak of others in a sexualized, crude and crass manner, what does that say about you, your thinking, and your values?
What does that say about the worth you place on those of whom you speak?
Why speak of them this way?
Why include these details?
Why is this your default speaking voice?
Why do you think your fellow posters came here to be drooled over?
This is not okay. It is actually a sign of decay and atrophy in society. Why can't an idea or a story be conveyed without T+A or lust? It's not cute. It's not appealing. We just don't want to take the low road. That's easy to do. Speak with intelligence. Speak with respect. There are teenagers and kids around who read and post. They convey their ideas with intelligence and with respect. They are raging balls of hormones yet they do not attempt to talk as you. They cannot be where adult talk is just the same. Did you ignore that fact? Did you just overlook it because you didn't bother reading anyone's posts? Probably not, and no. In your infinite selfishness you just do not care about others. What about adults who come here, because they have made the choice not to participate in adult talk, and adult situations on adult sites? What about those who visit both and keep it clean around here? Why won't you exercise your freedom to engage in this type of discussion in its proper place and why don't you know the difference? In the FAQ section 2.4, 5.3.x and all of section 4 talk about this at length and very specifically. Why do we have guys, and now girls, submitting about what they find sexy what turns them on, who they want to talk to in real life and making inappropriate comments about posts? Could your approach be why you are alone, or are you so dead from technology that you don't talk to people in real life? If you are looking for company, would changing your approach or being yourself help you in real life? What kind of person are you, that people near and dear to you are chattel? Which brings us to:

8. Don't be the creepy poster.
Some posts from some people, are about them having good clean fun. To each his own, because, in these cases, in real life, it doesn't harm them, and those with them. There is nothing to read into, it's not criminal, not sexual, it is just outside our scope. While we don't post these kinds of posts, the intentions of the poster are not evil. Oblivious, but not evil. Some posts like this are TMI and fixable. They are one off items, not a pattern of posting behaviors. Either way their posts are also not a product of serious personal problems, blind rage and or mental illness. We wish they paid more attention to the forum, did a better job of participating and leave it at that.
This is the real block of issues, and we're just going to cut and paste what we said about that most recently on page 2440 (this paragraph was created from page 2483)
-To the old people: Have not, a sharp tongue, and contrary spirit. With age, the lewdness, vitriol and stubbornness of youth give way to wisdom and maturity. Recall the conduct of simpler times, when people, tolerated others, spoke modestly, spoke respectfully, kept talk of the bedroom in the bedroom, and ignored not, the basic ideals laid before them. Rebellion is for the young. Teenage angst, departed many seasons ago. Convey your arguments with respect, and treat those with whom you differ as equals. Speak not your opinion as supreme fact. Speak with humility and speak your opinion humbly as your opinion.
-To all: Treat the opposite [or same] sex with respect and speak of them the same. Everyone is someone's sister, brother, son or daughter. Think of how you would have yours spoken of, before you speak. What respect could be found, if the forum were full of this crass talk?
What was that about? Those who it applied to glossed right over it. Some of the young, seem not to take example from the old, and now we are here. Often, It isn't so much the company or the subject matter at issue, it is the telling of the story. (Granted some legal things we don't do here, s-e-x, and intentional pee, poop and or play, being the biggest two. Criminally, we also don't do poisoning someone, i.e. food tampering, really bad criminal property damage, bullying other people, electronic voyeurism and voyeurism by breaking and entering, and the like, we draw the line on. Basically you are telling about and glorifying committing a felony against someone else.) We do post submissions from victims of the above, and for the most part any one can, and has posted about themselves and or others peeing or pooping almost everywhere. It is none of that. It comes down to us saying, you could have told the story differently, but you didn't... What are you really trying to say?????? If this is your default post, if this is your default thinking, and someone has to tell you "No, this kind of talk is not okay" there is a problem. This catches everything else not covered in #7. It is an issue of knowing what to say and how to say it. Before you start up, look closely, there is tons of PDD/NOS around here (where the hell would we be without it) so that can't be the issue, and that's not what we are getting at. It is often an "I don't care" attitude by those who speak only for their titillation that causes this.

For both 7 and 8, and hold this thought for 10, 11 below, many people ask, why we have so little tolerance for this behavior. First, many of the people who do this, are older. They grew up decades before the internet. People did not get behind an app, bowser, camera or the like and do these things. This type of thing was not on TV in their day either. They know better. There are two reasons why these posters cannot continue to post. 1.) They know what they tried to post, and we know it too. You, the public never see it, and you would never see this side of them and are none the wiser. Often they try to clean it up. The sanitized story is so far from the original, and the details are so radically different, putting the two side by side makes you wonder. To add insult to injury, the cleaned up post is usually written like it didn't just have to be radically altered, or it's our fault they posted a XXXX rated post in the first place. We cannot be party to this. If we have to twist your arm to get you to do right, your posts are not of your own mind, thoughts and free will. We're not going to represent them as anything any different, and deem them equal to those who post with a clean heart and clean tongue.

This is how you think. This is who you are. That is the first thing out of your mouth. Why? Those you seek to mingle with are innocent. You will not clothe yourself in wool. You will not clothe yourself in feathers. The next man may be exactly the same on the inside. The difference is, he keeps it inside, even here, where he is anonymous. The innocent and those with filter are doing the right thing even when no one is looking. You are not. We will not give you access to others whom you think of in obtuse and lustful ways. We're not going to pick and choose from your posts, representing the space between your good [enough] posts as anything any different. We will not deem posts like yours equal, to those who post with a willing heart and clean spirit. You came here for something that is not here. You have made your bed. In it, you will now lie. For sins 7 or 8, you shall sit in silence for all the rest of your days.

The next two are either caused by mental illness or pure evil. Either way, some posts are from people who have some real problems.

A.)Some people seem to be on a downward spiral. This possibility must be explored. Two well liked regulars in particular come to mind. One posted a truly odd, explicit and tasteless story involving pooping with her dog. No big deal. That story did not get printed. She reposted it over and over in various forms for months then vanished, never to be heard from again. She never seemed to comprehend that the subject matter was simply not acceptable and quite vulgar. She clearly read the forum so she knew nothing like that was ever posted. Us mentioning it did not help either. She never got past that one story. Putting this page together, many years later, in hindsight it seems clear now, that her post was probably really in response to sexual abuse, or assault. We're going to leave this here RAINN, 1800.656.HOPE,

The other's usual posts, got darker and darker until they got too predatory and creepy to post. Not sure what either was going through, but we wish them luck. If you go from posting almost daily, and having almost everything, or everything you write posted, to a big goose egg, please take it as your wakeup call. (Remember the intro?)

B.Some people are going through something, and somehow landed here. The same applies. Your life may depend on it. Again, please, if you are having problems go to the nearest emergency room. Social media is no substitute. Call 911, or your country's emergency medical number if needed. This may be your last chance.

C. Pure evil. Some people get up and make the conscious choice to do wrong.

A, B or C The posts often go as follows:
9. The high volume non participant
While we are on the subject of questionable mental states. We hold these truths to be self evident, and multiply them. And No, this isn't talking about posters who respond to and greet everyone. These are again, the posts you aren't seeing. Some people post the same thing every day as seen in the items above. Some people post the same thing every day under different names. Some people post, then post replies to themselves whether or not their first post made it. Some people spend hours posting an incoherent stream; Whatever the cause, none of it ever makes it but they keep posting it anyway.
in·san·i·ty () N.
1. The obvious.
2. Doing the exact same thing repeatedly, without results and without any hope of a different or positive outcome.
3. The persistent belief that everybody else is stupid despite evidence to the contrary.
Some people post all the time. Most of or nothing they write ever makes it, but they keep posting anyway and seem none the wiser. We are never really sure if they intend to participate, because they never notice that they are never/rarely successful. While some posts are illegible, many posts that are outside the content of this forum. It doesn't seem like the people writing, are aware that we don't have posts on whatever, (usually adult) activity, or subject they wish to tell about. If you are paying so little attention why do you bother?

10. Don't be The fake/multiple personality
Take the above and add this on. (This item is the most frequently speculated about by people who are #1 above and #2 in the The seven lacks of common courtesy.Again, it is referring to what you don't ever see.) Some people are many people. Some people just make up stuff to be evil. Others are a few fries short of a happy meal. Some people post the same thing every day under different names. Some people post, then post replies to themselves whether or not their first post made it. Some people make up so much stuff they can't keep the details straight. The sad part is, everyone is given the benefit of the doubt on what they write, up until a pattern starts developing. We often see someone try to post similar stories under many names from the same device, in the same place repeatedly. Another facet of this one, are multiple people posting from the same device, often a phone or mobile device, that don't seem to know they are using the same device. It could within reason be computer or an I whatever in a library, but all to often it is a phone. The posts are often a few minutes apart. A freaking phone! It is simply insulting, and does not get printed. The whole thing is especially bad when it includes #8. What would a forum full of that look like? Pay close attention, to the people who know each other in real life. Look at their posts. They acknowledge each other, introduce each other, often overlap stories and know they are posting from the same phone.

Posts like this are uncomfortable, often painful, repetitive reading. The key for them, is telling variations of a single scenario, or theme on a hotbutton issue for them. They are a real creepy read and it's never clear if they understand or are capable of understanding that. As a courtesy to the latter, this is the reason for A. and B above. (And no, these are not a regular posters who frequently have similar stories or adventures. Those are posts that actually make it from people who get 100% of their stuff posted.) The posts we are talking about go something like this: (We are not going to acknowledge actual details of the scenarios we get over and over and over and over and over and over from the posters that fall into this category. They just aren't worth repeating.) Consider this Mad Libs style example we cooked up in their place:

You post about needing your grandmother to watch you poop into a Menards bag, through the left leg hole of a pair of green drawers, while wearing one blue sock, in a certain brand gas station's bathroom, every Tuesday at 9:03AM. Further, you must refer to that act repeatedly as "blasting a dookie poopy out of your bunghole!!!!". Every one of your posts, regardless of whom you may claim to be today, follows this same theme, with a similar plot, identical verbs, similar interjection filled, hokey dialog, punctuation, and similar details.

Yeah. They are that specific. Yeah that is how the subject matter looks. Now, do you understand what we mean by creepy? Many of these posts often have to repeat certain words and phrases. All detail an odd euphoria for a single topic. Many detail activities that seem almost fetish, compulsive and or predatory in their narratives. Most are in poor taste and contain inappropriate details or scenarios. This is important because the decisions made in telling of the story speak volumes about the character and mindset of the poster. We usually see the same scenario thinly veneered, as a fresh post or poster frequently for years on end. That isn't fun, and the time and energy needed to weed out posts like this, is tremendous. On the evil side, the theme of exhibitionism comes up here again, bringing along with it the posters' creepy motives as well. From this end, posters and posts like this must be and are stopped. We are not equipped to determine if #8 A, B or C is the case. Mental illness, loneliness, and or simply being a bad person are real world problems. This is social media. These are people with serious issues going on in real life, that need real life help, not social media to form a rosy enabling construct.. Why must posts like this stop? If 12 people are posting about grandma and "blasting a dookie poopy out of their bunghole!" in a Home Depot bag, how does that look? Hell, changing a minor detail like that, is even more insulting, and we're not going to ask you to read that. A forum cannot be allowed to fill with posts the poster seems to think no one will catch on to. A forum definitely can't be allowed to fill with posts from a poster who can't comprehend they are 12 different, identical people. For this sin. You and all your alter egos, will sit in silence forever more.(To date no one has come back better and owned up to A or B.) Again the mechanism from above concerning a clean spirit applies here too. You simply do not have to lie to post.

11. Don't be The Lost
First you have the group that hasn't read the forum or the rules, posts a bunch of times and leaves disappointed. Yes, more often than not, 7 or 8 has already been fulfilled at this point.

After in excess of 20 years, this class of people has to be addressed for the first time. Read it as a sign of the times. Despite what society says, despite what society does, what you do behind your computer or device screen matters. You simply do not get to act lewd, act ugly, curse people, or otherwise show out in an amoral manner, then go about your business posting, as if nothing happened. Why? We will have no part of enabling people who feel entitled to do and say whatever. There will be no reward for such conduct. You don't get to behave this way and reap the same benefits as those who treat others in a civil manner. Acting ugly does not get you to the same place as the man who follows the golden rule. We are in a position to make a difference, and make the world a better place with how we use our power. That's what we will do as best as we can.

Let's look at this detour in detail, as due to social media, there is now a huge disconnect between what we do in real life versus on the internet.

Ask yourself first and foremost: -Do I want someone to behave toward me as I treat others? -If I feel someone deserves whatever I am dishing out, how would I feel when abuses me the same way I abuse others for the same reasons? -Why I think people are obligated to accept my abuse? -What was I trying to accomplish? -If I behaved this way in the real world, what consequences would I face?

Here is where we point out that, none of these folks ever have of their own volition, admitted they were wrong. When they start to realize their actions preclude them from getting what they want, then and only then do they swear to do all the right things for all the wrong reasons.

But wait, it gets darker. When it does, it is usually the domain of people for whom this is not a one off thing.

Take a combination of all the items above. Add in people who are determined to justify the fact, that they are determined to represent wrong as right.

"Im a long time reader [insert something cannot be posted here ---> X ]".
You've been reading for how many years? Are you sure? Are you kidding? Where did you see anything like what you posted? Why are you telling people you care about their submissions, when it seems you have never read one?

Some of these folks seem to want to be exhibitionists. Others don't like the rules, They post stuff that is outside the scope of the forum with no sign of stopping. If you are they, ask yourself, if this is really the kind of site you are looking for? You know we don't do that, and you know it isn't remotely appropriate, yet you continue out of spite, and or your need for fulfillment. What do you think that accomplishes.

Then they get mad. Trouble is, at this point they are miles beyond redemption. Most haven't noticed their demise yet. Even in our station, at some point, the abusive must be left where they lie. Again, the moral lesson above. Again, the outcome. Besides, why do they think they are entitled to have someone to put up with their abuse ad infinitum?

Next come gems like this: "I'm back, It has been a long time since I last posted" Huh? You just got through getting called out for doing/saying __________ for the last A.) year B.) month C.) decade straight, and this is the first line of your next post????????? This attitude is a continuation of the posts that got canned, and you are saying, content of your posts is not your fault?

And then,

"But I promise I will do it right this time..."

If the threat of nonparticipation forces you to dial it back the material, you have serious, serious soul searching to do. For some, enough was enough long before they discovered that determination was made. Some get down to posting the same thing under one alter ego and act as if something has changed. Soooo, when it was yours to do right, simply out of respect for yourself and others, and when you figured there were no consequences to doing the wrong thing, you chose to do the wrong thing. One who does right, only to gain their desires, is a man doing wrong. The same, a man convinced out of desperation or convinced against his will is a man, unconvinced.

Some call themselves cleaning up the story. Don't confuse it with someone who messes up their first time out. The facepalm TMI story, this isn't. This is the manifestation of the items above concerning their intent.

If this line of discussion is being had, rest assured, they clearly are pouting about being called out on their evil. It is not a negotiation, or a race to the bottom. Reasonable people read the rules after the first or second post that doesn't get posted. Reasonable people also stop when they read the rules and find out, that what they want is not what we offer. These, on the other hand are people who post outside the rules repeatedly. Those guilty of this conduct usually defend it, and get offended, that we say something, or have rules against their conduct, because they think everyone thinks like they do. They assume everyone is going to enjoy what they have to say. They also think because they say it, they are entitled to have us print it, no matter what. Hold on to this idea of entitlement and self importance. It comes back up repeatedly in this discussion.

The thinking behind this is so twisted that one of them has even said to us "I didn't violate the rules I normally violate" (that I don't think I should have to follow anyway)

Finally, this. They don't want to follow the rules or don't like the rules yet they continue to post. These are from, what we are stopping just short of calling bad people. Those who need to do some serious soul searching. For them, in public here, no one speaks in this manner, yet you try to. No one else is having their posts rejected for this. Do you know the difference between right and wrong? When told of this you refuse to hear, but continue to speak. Truly it is said to you. There is none blind as the man who refuses to see. Folks, there are habitual offenders. It isn't just a few posts, all of these posters have done this for years. Some decades. They know the rules, because they complain about them incessantly, and try to violate them in ways they hope we will miss, so understanding can't possibly be the issue. They are simply determined to do wrong. That's a flying FU. When this goes on, and on and on, we get to a point where it isn't worth reading any of their submissions to find the devil in the details.We stop looking. It is safer that way. If we don't, we have to ask, "What are we going to miss?" "What scam is this person trying to pull today?" "Are we going to spend time reading another post from __________ that won't go?"Everyone else follows the rules. (Their posts may contain a F bomb here, a last name there or the most commonly removed item, excessive space. They are minor oversights and the post goes.)

When people can't and won't follow the rules, and are determined to break them over and over, they go away and they don't come back. They clearly don't want to be here, so we will give them their final wish.