Back in 1990 when I was 17, my boyfriend at that time and I spent a weekend up at his parents cottage, which was on a lake in northern
Wisconsin. The property up there was somewhat secluded, and the neighbors next to the cottage were hardly ever there.
One day we were tanning nude on the pier after a little skinny dipping. I realized I had to take a dump, so I proceeded to make my intentions clear, as I usually do, "I have to poop," and I prepared to leave for the bathroom.
"Jess, there's a whole frickin' lake here, just take your sh*t in it." my boyfriend said.
"Oh, sure. Then you can wipe my ass." I retorted.
He got a little defensive. "C'mon!"
"Well if you wanna get me some toilet paper, then fine, I really don't
care." So he tossed his shorts on and booked for the bathroom. He came back with the whole roll, handed it to me, dropped his shorts back off, plopped into the water, and motioned for me to come in. I stepped into the lake, and though "Oh god, this is going to be freaky."
"Where the hell should I poop?" I asked, as if there were actually experts on this subject anywhere around.
"Just bend over and sh*t. Grab the pier and just sh*t down into the water. It's no different than a toilet."
"Yeah right," I thought. So with two handfuls of pier plank, I went into a slight squat to get my buns apart, and quickly pushed out two logs which made an awfully big splash. The water was just above my knees at this depth. I heard my boyfriend behind me, and then saw him reach down into the water and pull out one of my logs.
"Oh yuck! What are you doing?!?" I asked, as I reached for the toilet
paper. Just then he took my poop and whipped it at the neighbor's boat!!! The poop fell apart, but parts of it splattered all over the side of the boat.
I wiped my butt and he rinsed his hands in the lake. Then I gave him some toilet paper to wipe his hands with. All I could think was "Yeah, sh*t really flies!"
I have been lurking for a while and thought I`d put pen to paper as it were!
Last weekend I got food poisoning and had the worst week of my life!
I had diarrea and sickness and needed to take pills to dry the runs up!
After a few days and plenty of sympathy from my husband I felt I could get out of bed and start to make a full recovery.
Tony and I ave always ben very open about our functions as we were both from big families and Tony teased me about the state I`d been in, I could laugh now and as the day went on I felt stronger and stronger.
We decided to go out for a meal as I hadn`t eaten for days and really pigged out, chicken and fries and wine!
As we retuned home I felt the first stirrings of a stomach cramp and prayed I was not having a relapse!
Later on I realised that I had not emptied my bowels for five days!
That foe me who is as regular as clockwork every morning was quite a feat and I enjoyed the sensation!
Tony bet me a fiver I would not be able to go week and I accepted out of a sense of fun!
I still had the anti diarrea pills and took a couple then,
I`ve got to go, is anyone interested in me finishing this as my last few have been ignored, I`d love to join in if you will have me?
Althea: I was once sneeky in HS and took a dump after school. No one ever discovered that i did it so there were no problems although somebody did ask me if i had taken a dump in school a couple of days later.
For "Plunging Plop Guy" on page 666, on low flush toilets here in the US, it has been law since 1992 or 1993 that new toilets had to be less than or equal to 1.6 gallons (US). In my own opinion, it is an asinine law. If I ever get the opportunity to build my own house, up to Canada to get the old fashion 3 gallon johns.
Also, yesterday, there was an article that was linked from "Worldnet Daily" which mentioned that an old man who moved from FL to SC had took a dump on the floor in the DMV. He waited for a good while to get his drivers license and plates. It mentioned about the mess and a person getting sick.
Elmo - Thanks for your reply. You seem to have more experiences than I do. I don't have the opportunity to hear many women at work; the bathrooms are in a remote location. Unfortunately, it is too loud where I work to hear anything anyway, so there is not much chance in that respect. I do agree that the longest pees occur at events where alcohol is served. One more incident comes to mind at such an event. I was at a party at a friend's place one night. I remember heading for the bathroom, but this girl I didn't particularly like cut me off, shutting the door in my face. She may have been a harlot, but she did have a large bladder. I looked at my watch as she started with her pee, which was at a little greater than average pressure, with a decent hiss. She went on for quite a while, and sure enough, it was about 1 1/2 minutes before she stopped completely, according to my watch. She had a few squirts, but I estimate her continuous stream ended at about 1:10.
Adrian - I know holding it for that long was not healthy, but I don't think I would've been able to go if I tried, being somewhat shy as I mentioned. As I said, I didn't drink much, if that makes any difference. I certainly don't make a habit of it.
Just a question: Has any woman here ever won a peeing contest against a man?
Good day to all...
Haven't posted in awhile because nothing interesting has happened to post about. Seems nobody reads my posts anyway, so I decided not to write. I might not post anymore and go back to lurking if no one reads my posts.
Anyway, since my girlfriend and I began dumping together, she's been doing really small ones-- really a disappointment for both of us. I know she can do big ones because I've seen 'em--back in the days when I shut off the toilet to see what she left behind. She now goes in the afternoon instead of in the mornings like before.
The last two or three days have been really interesting. It all started two nights ago after we came back from dinner at a local restaurant. She suddenly had the urge to poop. She also has had her period this past week, so that makes the show more interesting, plus she had been snacking all weekend long, rye crackers and whole grain breads. Usually she gets a bit bunged up during that time of the month, but not this time! I quickly threw down some old newspaper, got the flashlight so I can see up close better, and my camera! Immediately she undressed and saquatted over the paper, her cute little ass quivering and pointed out. Her hole had already been dilated from the strong urge to poop, so now it just streteched wider to acomodate the mass she pushed out. I snapped a few pics of it coming out. It was soft and easy, and it was pretty big! I'd say it was close to two inches wide and about seven inches long. She said she could do bigger. But it was the first big dump I've s! een her take.
Then yesterday afternoon she came home from work and we went out shopping together. She told me she wanted to do the shopping as quickly as possible so that we could rush home for her buddy dump! I couldn't believe she had to go again because she usually goes every other day or even every third day. So we did the shopping and rushed home. Even my own buddy dumps couldn't compete with hers! The paper was in place, she stripped and I got down on the ground so I could have a good view to watch the show. Unfortunately I had run out of film from the day before, but I still had the flashlight. I watched as her hole domed out and the tip of a log poked out. She pushed and it slid out, pausing a moment before landing on the paper with a thud. A second turd began to emerge then fell on top of the first one. Her hole quivered open and closed a few times. I had a good view inside. The turd was even bigger than the one the previous night. I measured it--about 3 1/2 (centimeters, unfo! rtunately), but still big, especially compared to my usual jobbies.
Today was a continuation of the big sausages. My girlfriend is turning into quite a poop log factory. She said she could feel it all day at work, so as soon as she got home, the paper was out on the floor and she was in squat position. I was in spectator position, just under her behind (but not THAT close!) so that I could see everything. A soft turd peeked through the domed anus, then pushed its way out, stretching her pink hole to purple. Two small, thick pieces, followed by the main log fell out. What a ripe smell filled the room! Another healtyh one, measuring in at 4 centimeters across, give or take. She's been eating more whole grain breads, anticipating that tomorrow's or the next day's dump will be even bigger. Now I've got to get stoked up and try and lay some turds to compete with hers. Mine are ashamedly small, but she always comments how easy it is for me. She strained her last several tiny dumps, but the three of the past few days were big easy ones.
Hope you enjoyed it. Keep posting--at least more interesting posts than mine! Happy dumps and plops to all.
Jacob G in Florida
Brent C: I'm glad you're still around. One of my favorite posts on this forum was the one when you were constipated and your massage therapist gave you massage to help relax you. Post some more stories, please. I'd also like to hear from Thom, Carlos, and Fernando.
I've always enjoyed listening to guys grunting, and noticed there are several types of "guy grunts." First, there's the barely audible grunt - maybe just a sigh at the very most. This seems to be the most common type of grunting I hear. Its also the most boring. Second, there's the common, but more audible grunt that's made when the guy keeps his mouth closed while forcibly exhaling through his nose. The third type of grunt is more rare. It's similar to the second, but the grunting noise is made when the guy forcibly exhales through his open mouth. I really like hearing this grunt. The fourth, and the rarest grunt, is loud audible grunting in which the guy uses his vocal chords while straining. Sometimes, it can be scary to hear this in a public restroom (is he dying?). I did enjoy listening to my constipated friend audibly grunting one time we were traveling together and staying a hotel. I posted that story a while back. Anyway, on with my story.
Last Monday, I went to the mall to run errands. I went into a restroom in Sears to pee. This particular restroom has two stalls (with doors) and three urinals. When I walked in, the restroom was empty. I went to the first urinal and peed. Just as I was zipping up, a young guy, around 20 years old walked in and went to the first stall. He was skinny, nice looking, and fashionably dressed. As I walked to the sink to wash my hands, I could hear him tearing off toilet paper and laying it on the seat. I watched his tennis shoes as they turned around so he could sit. Then, I saw his jeans drop to the floor. Before I heard the sound of his butt hitting the toilet seat, I heard him fart. Immediately, he started grunting with his mouth open, while forcibly exhaling (my third type of grunt). What was so unusual, was the tone of his grunting. He sounded as if he were a huge body-builder type guy, not the skinny guy I saw go into the stall. Had I not known what he looked! like, I would have sworn he was big and muscular. Anyway, these loud mouth-open grunts continued one after another. Every few grunts, I would hear a cannon-ball type kerplop. I was enjoying listening to this as I washed up and brushed my hair. Then, the inevitable happened - a bunch of talking people walked in and started running the water, flushing the urinals, etc., so I left. That was the end of that. I have another story similar to this that happened that same night. I'll tell it later.
For a while now, I have been keeping track mentally of the guys at work who I've found taking dumps at work in the mens room. It is somewhat surprising to me that the vast majorityof the men at work (there are probably about thirty in my immediate area) have taken dumps at work. There are some who dump regularly (one guy several times a day, but I imagine he has some kind of digestive problem), some who dump once in a while, and some never. I find this kind of interesting. I take my daily BM right after coffee at home and never need to go at work (I think in five years at this job, I've gone maybe once or twice in the office). I am slightly squeemish about going at work. If absolutely necessary I will, but prefer not to. I once had a conversation with this guy at work who confessed that he has never gone at work and never will. He has on some occasions gone home with a stomach ache holding it in rather than use the mens room at work. I'd be interested in other guy's o! pinions/observations on going at work.
Kim and Scott - Kim, you deserve the compliments, because you are a very sweet and sincere young woman. Thanks for saying that you think I am physically robust. Anytime you and Scott want to come over for a workout, please do so. Kathy and I have a well equipped gym in the basement and there is plenty of room. Afterward, my wife will cook one of her homemade Italian dinners (yes, she is part Italian) and after that, if the urge hits you, you can clog either of the commodes in the master bath. It would then be my pleasure to unclog the head. Now, about your latest adventure: Taking a monster crap in the Men's Room at Yankee Stadium, while buck naked? You are not a dare devil, you are a RECKLESS Dare devil, kiddo (LOL!). How you pulled off the stunt is just incredible, to say the least. I only wish that I was one of the lucky gents that saw your amazing product. You are indeed one of the most interesting people that I have corresponded with. You're terrific, Kim, that story ma! de my day.
Buzzy - Hey neighbor, how are things. Yes, the internal cleansing is really having an effect. The wife and I are dumping our brains out, usually twice a day, and the volume is quite large. Sunday's "poop party" with Noreen and Larry was an experience. You should have seen the flies we attracted. You sound like you are doing pretty well yourself. The results are showing up in your increased output. That last dump you did with Donna was a beaut. Keep eating lots of fiber, and you will poop more volume and more often.
Hellos also to Carmalita (my precious little Latina Lady!), Renee, Patsy, Jane, Rizzo, Jeff A and Muggs (where the hell have you 2 guys been ?).
The heat in the Hudson Valley is getting to me. I wish it was winter, with 2 feet of snow on the ground! It's a short week for me, I'm off Thursday and will not be back at work until Aug 6th. So I visited all 3 clients this week, the one I handle in Rockland County on Monday, Central Westchester County on Tuesday, and my local client today. My boys had the week off, so I covered for them. Today, Wednesday, I was working only 2 miles from home. Kathy and I had kept each other company for a good sized AM dump at about 5:45 and at about 10:30, dump number 2 was on the way. Now this client has the mens and ladies rooms back to back, with paper thin walls. Yes, you can hear just about everything that goes on in each place. So I entered an empty mens room, went into the middle stall, lowered my slacks and shorts and sat. My ring immediately stretched, and a long, thick fiber assisted bomb snaked out. While I peed, I heard someone enter the ladies. Whoever it was, entered the sta! ll to my back. She rustled her clothes, sat, and then I heard a tremendous fart. That was followed by a stream of noisy, semi-soft sounding poop. Two more waves followed, then I heard a forceful stream of pee. I was wiping ( very little) by this time and As I went to stand up, I heard more farts and noisy poop. I flushed, washed up and went to my desk. About 5 minutes later, this gal, Sally came back to her desk. She is a beautiful black girl, tall, well built and very sweet. I heard her say to her cell mate that she had a mild stomach ache and had just blown the ladies to hell. She laughed, and then noticed me looking at her. "You weren't suppose to hear that, Rich!", she said. "But I heard the whole performance" I protested. "What?", came the reply. "I was sitting right behind you in the men's room, Sally", I said. She squealed, her two female cell mates laughed, and she came over to me and said "You are the devil Rich ………", as she laughed and pinched my cheeks. "You're jus! t finding that out?", I said in astonishment. A bunch of us started laughing, and we did return to work. Hey, if I can't see it, I might as well enjoy the sound.
Be good, everyone.
Hello to all of you!
I know that I am a bit late with the following comments, but I hope they will still be of interest.
Hi FILUP, here are my answers to your questions.
1) Pee shy? No I am not.
2) I usually pee 5 to 6 times or more a day. I do not wait too long, because I enjoy relief. And then I sometimes get a sudden (nervous) urge just when I want to start to do something, like mowing the lawn, or repairing a video or playing the Largo in G by Bach.
3) I always pee when I get up in the morning. I always pee before going to bed, even if I don’t have to! Just knowing I have peed let’s me fall asleep easier. If I have had to much green tea in the evening, I need to pee at night, which I then do sitting down for better aim.
4) Longest I have held it: from midnight to 1 pm, 13 hours and awake most of the time. I didn’t drink much and it wa not too bad.
5) No I have not measured my maximum bladder capacity. I know an average bladder can hold 1.5 liters without bursting, but I’d pee myself long before that. After appendectomy I had difficulties in letting go, although my bladder felt heavy and full but without the urge that would make me hold on conciously. When I finally did get the pee flowing, it filled the bed bottle almost up to the neck. I do not know how big that bottle in hospital was, probably one liter.
CC, do not worry too much about blood in your stool. If the blood was red, which it probably was, or you would not have recognized it as such, then the cause is usually from bleeding in the anal region. Go to a doctor to make sure that it is nothing serious. With great probability it is only some minor trouble that can be fixed easily if it hasn’t already disappeared on its own accord.
Hi PENNY, good to read another of your posts! I think I know how your husband felt manoeuvering the car to give cover to the lady behind the 4x4. He must have been excited. Being chivalrous is not only fun, but exciting too, you know!
RJOGGER, hi! All this about “internal cleansing” thing, I think it is mostly in the minds of people. But if you just proceed to eat more fruit and more vegetables thus increasing your fiber intake, then it gets you intestines moving in a healthy way, and that’s the main point. Not so in Roman times. There is a resort in the Alps people used to go for “internal cleansing”. The waters from a spring there are very laxative. People were made to drink water so long until what came out their backsides was as clear as the water they drank! Now that is an exaggeration in internal cleansing, I think. Probably very unhealthy too!
Hi LINDA, you wanted to know how I clean my anus when showering? I cup my hand over my bum crack and let the shower water fill it up, therby immersing my hole to rinse away the foam from the shower gel used. I do not insert my finger into the hole, neither with nor without soap, because that gives me the big itch later. After a bm on the toilet, I move over on to a bidet next to it, to wash my anus with a cloth or with my hand with luke warm running water without any soap, in order not to remove the natural oils in the skin. I do not get any skid marks in my underwear that way, and I always feel wonderfully clean.
Hi RENEE, glad to read your post and that you, mother to be, are feeling well and have had a good time. It is a pity that this Derek showed no respect for your partnership with Patsy. Letting someone watch you poop in the bushes doesn’t guarantee that he is a nice chap afterwards, eh? (This applies to Carmalita and not to you, of course.) Good of Jake to compliment him out.
I liked your observation of Carmalita brushing her teeth on the toilet! Once when brushing my teeth I felt an urge for a pee. So I turned around towards the toilet and peed standing and moving the tooth brush to and fro. This was a big mistake, because it made my whole body wobble which had disastrous effects on my aim. My stream began to wave about in rhythm with the movement of my arm to make the pee splash randomly over and around the toilet bowl. I had to clean up of course. I should have sat down to pee. Have fun over there, love from Rizzo.
MYNA, your description sounds like a kind of haemorrhoid. As long as your stools are soft and it doesn’t hurt, you can live with it. But there is always a danger of one of those things bursting and releasing a flood of blood. Have it checked. Do not be embarrassed, doctors see these things all the time.
DAVE NY, Hi! You now know that everyone reads your posts, even if there is no comment. You see, some people are good first posters, but post only once, and if commented on, there is no reaction and no more posts. That is possibly why it takes a while (several posts) to catch on and get to be known. Keep posting, your stories will be welcome!
NH Dan, now that was a lovely story of yours with your girl ski enthusiast! I hope to read more of your posts!
PV dear, I just love your expression “bum shot”. It’s really graphic! Cheers from Rizzo.
Hi STEVE, I tried to carefully warn Louise about her ankle. Once the swelling has gone down, she can wear a skin coloured support which does not show very much. It will still take quite a while to mend though. So, for the time being it will have to be weeing sitting down or standing on one leg. I bet you will enjoy holding on to her to support her! Thinking about this, how about her standing to wee with her arm around you shoulders for support in order to take her weight off the damaged foot? Wouldn’t that be an alternative? You could even wee in close parallel action!! The twin stream wee!
You could even do it on the beach, with a good chance that nobody would suspect what is going on!
Have fun and take care, Rizzo. PS: I have just read that you are coping very well with her temporary handicap!
Last Saturday I had a very pleasant bm in the countryside. I was working on a technical problem outside, when repeated bending down to retrieve tools and standing up again triggered a “warm urge” accompanied by silent but violent little farts. Looking around I saw a clump of trees and low bushes behind a pasture for horses. I had some TP in my back pocket, which I keep for such occasions when predictably away from toilet facilities for several hours. As I strode across the sandy soil to the cover I had made out, my bum crack began to sweat in anticipation! Oh! This was going to be a good one. I quickly rounded the first bush and turned around to see how visible I was to some people a short distance away. OK, I was covered waist down, good enough. With the heel of my shoe I quickly kicked a trough like little hollow into the sand, stepped over it, lowered my short pants to just above my knees and squatted. If I step out of one leg of my pants, I sometimes pee on them, as my! pee tends to shoot out forward and to the left, getting me on my leg and or foot if I don’t watch out. Adding to that I would have to hold on to my pants, because otherwise they would get all dusty from contact with the ground. At the knees they are safe. I let go the reins on my sphincter and immediately a soft light brown one and a half inch thick log started out at speed. It broke off and doubled over to a V when the tip hit the sand. After a deep breath another load shot out, this time of softer consistency with many entrapped and crackling gas bubbles. It covered the first lot with a mushroom like cap. This was followed by a lengthy pee, guided to hit the sand between my feet. Two wipes and I was done! Possibly the pre-shit sweat had insulated my anal area against becoming too messy, even though the last bit was soft stuff. I pulled my underwear and pants back up, kicked some sand over my deed to prevent smell and to keep off the flies, and still feeling the pleasant, wa! rm, after-shit vibrations inside, walked back to my work.
So much for today, bye to you all, Rizzo
Wednesday, July 25, 2001
Diskputers: I made #2 for the first time in school in 7th grade. See my earlier posts. I could pee all I wanted. Only, I would not move my bowels. I did get caught by an older girl. When I came out of the stall, she told me to flush the toilet. I had to go. I could not sit through class, otherwise I would have messed myself.
Jane: I was in 10th grade and was moving my bowels at school one afternoon. The bathroom was hardly used. I had a key, because I worked in the AV department. The key practically opened the school. My blue jeans and white panties were at my ankles. I evacuated a 12 inch long piece. It was thick as a broomstick. As, I sat the lady custodian entered and started mopping. Her mop hit my feet and I said, "I'm in here." She said she was sorry and asked I there was toilet paper in thee stall. I told her yes. She continued to clean. I thought I was finished, when I suddenly farted and urinated for 10 seconds. While she cleaned, I sat silently then reached for the toilet paper to wipe my underside good. When I flushed and left she was surprised it was me. I was her favorite kid.
I will ask my question for the females once again. Have any of you ladies pooped in the lake or sea before while boating? I figured everyone did it, but did not get much of a response. Thanks again.
how do i cover the smell of poop if i do it out side