Hi all. I havent posted for a long time but have been reading the posts.
Now I have to differ from Dr Polhemus. I have seen a lot of bowel movements done by both males and females over the years and in my experience, all other things being equal, such as physical build, the amount and type of food eaten, I have to say that females do larger jobbies than males. They may be of equal length but womens turds are often fatter and lumpier. The rectum (back passage) in the female post puberty is a different shape and wider than in the male and seems to be able to expand and hold a larger amount of stool. I have also found that females are often in work or home situations where they are unable to go to the toilet as soon as they feel the need. As an example, the female schoolteacher who has to hold it in during a class, the shop assistant, the busy mother getting her kids ready for school, the nurse on ward duty. All may need a motion but hold it in until they can go to the toilet. The urge passes off and they may not do the motion until later when it ! has become harder and larger. Also, many women and girls become a bit constipated at the time of their monthly menstrual period, and then pass a real whopper of a jobbie when they eventually do have a BM, I certainly do and so do a lot of my female friends. Far more men, at least in the UK, drink beer than do women and this especially "Real Ale" can have a laxative effect so such mens stools will be looser than those of women. My husband drinks only white wine or sprits in small amounts or sometimes lager and passes turds as solid and formed as mine but while these are often as long as mine , my jobbies are usually fatter than his.
Now on the story of the Girls Hockey team and the "Jabba the Hutt" (should that be JOBBA the Hutt?) turd that one of them passed I have done a similar BM and one of my friends called it "Jobbie the Hutt". I dont play Ice Hockey but do play what Americans would call Field Hockey and have done so since I was at school. A couple of months ago I was constipated (period time) and hadnt done a motion for 3 days. I knew there was a big load up there but even sitting on the pan with my husband rubbing my ????? and encouraging me to "do a nice big jobbie" for him achieved nothing. I was playing (field) hockey that Saturday and as often happens all the running about and exercise got my system to move. It wasnt urgent but I felt this big load come down into my back passage and I wee weed the gusset of my navy blue cotton knickers slightly as the large fecal mass put pressure on my full bladder. As this was at the end of the match I waited till we got into the dressing (locker) rooms ! and went into one of the cubicles. There was no door , this was a local council sports facility and not of the highest standard. This didnt bother me as we are all friends on this hockey team, many of us since school days. I had mentioned to Norma, a girl I have known since I had gone to school at the age of 5, that I was a constipated so she asked me, "Nicola , is it only a wee wee or do you need a poo?" As I hitched up my short pleated hockey skirt and pulled my navy blue knickers down to my knees I replied, "I can feel a big load on its way down" and sat on the pan. I peed like a horse a long hissing torrent of wee wee then I passed 4 hard billiard ball lumps, "NNN PLOONK! UH PLOOMP! AH KAPLONK! OH PLONK!" Then I felt IT come out. It was a really big solid jobbie, very fat and lumpy to start with. As my ring was already dilated and my back passage lubricated from passing the fat balls it wasnt uncomfortable to pass but to begin with it came out slowly a few inches at a tim! e as I went NNN! UH! OO! OO! Looking between my legs I could see the fat knobbly cylinder as it grew in length and knew this was going to be a whopper. A couple of the other girls had also come over to watch and were saying "That's it Nicky, try hard, do one of your big panbusters". When about 14 inches of this fat log were out it tapered down in thickness and shot into the pan, an old fashioned white high type as often found in British schools and public toilets with a loud "FLOOMP!" I gave a loud sigh of relief and pleasure and Norma and the other girls gave a cheer. When I got up off the pan and both myself and Norma had a look at my motion she started to giggle and exclained "It looks like Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars" I had to agree that its shape being about 3 inches fat to begin with then 2.5 inches for most of its length then for the last 4 inches reducing to 1 inch thick with an S shaped tail did resemble the alien in question. (It was about 18 inches long in total)! Norma said, "perhaps we should call it JOBBIE the Hutt?" When I pulled the flush it stayed behind while the hard balls went away. I flushed the toilet another 3 times but it stuck solid . Most of the other girls had a look and it was still lying in the bottom of the pan when we had finished our shower and got dressed to go home. No doubt the caretaker had the pleasure of removing it. I told my husband all about it when I got home. He was disappointed that I hadnt done it at home so he could see it but I did say that I hadnt fancied riding my bike back home with somethiing that big threatening to come out in my knickers!
Incidentally, this reminds me of another incident when one of my big jobbies was compared to something on a Sci Fi film. There is an episode of the original (Captain Kirk) Star Trek called "The Doomsday Machine" where the Enterprise encounters and eventually deactivates a huge robot spaceship which the called the "Planet Eater" as it slices up and devours any planet in its path. I was about 16 at the time and was watching this episode on the TV with my 14 year old brother. As soon as the Doomsday Machine came on screen he started to giggle and said "That looks like one on your big jobbies Nicola!" Sure enough, the alien spacecraft DID look like a big long jobbie blunt and thick at the front and tapering to a pointed end , even having an S kink in the tail as many really long turds do and the proportions were exactly those of a large solid human stool. Even my Mum and Dad were amused when they came into the room and my brother told them. For a while after that when I did ! a big panbuster jobbie of that shape other family members would say, "Nicola's launched the Doomsday Machine in the toilet" . I have often wondered if some Sci Fi special FX men have coprophiliac tendencies and gratify them in their models such as Jabba the Hutt who DID look like a big jobbie and the Doomsday Machine. Have any other posters similar examples from films, TV , or illustrated books of turd like characters or spaceships etc?
Finally, I think there is an Old Post of a few years ago where Scots Moira relates about doing a jobbie in a urinal in a Gents Toilet when the Ladies was closed and the Gents was urinals only. It would be worth looking it up in Old Posts.
Love to you all and big solid jobbies!
I like that picture, looks like she's gonna pee or poop in a coffee pot
To pboy: I liked your storie, it was cool
To Thom: It's good to hear from you and thanks for your sugestion. Yep that was me who changed my name from Andy to bryian a long while back. In the long run i'll probably end up staying Bryian on here.
To Plunging Plop Guy: About the situation that ocurred the other day...If i would have acted as i was waiting for a free stall it wouldn't have made sense because there is a single bathroom downstairs. And no one hardly uses that bathroom. Thats really the first time i've seen any one in that bathroom doing any thing.
CHAD: Your feeling strange about being turned on by watching a woman sitting on the toilet is DEFINITElY not an abberration. It is, as you mention, a normal reaction to something that is hidden and not discussed in our society. It could have been a result of some childhood experience; for me, watching my younger sister defecate was my "trigger" which has remained with me to this day, at 63. So I support you to allow the feelings to provide you with as much pleasure as you can accept. CARMALITA: Thanks for thinking of me. I coudn't get posted as my former handle, so decided to lurk and come back whenever the situation warrants. Let me say that your file is the largest I have, and am continually reading and re-reading your posts whenever I...well, you know! You are such a sweetie to everyone and so glad you're back after your accident. Keep well..Eric
I see the forum has been dormant for a few days with no new stories-Well,I have one-It's now 8:20 a.m. and I just got back from the woods after a nice dump-Rode out at about 7:15a.m.and felt like I had to go pretty good and went to the spot where I met my lady friend last week hoping to meet her for another poo rondezvous-well,when I got to the spot thee was no sign of her,but I waited for about 15-20 mins and by then I really had to go bad and then I thought about something I read on the forum-I think it was from KEVIN & BILLY L about pooing in a tree and I thought,hey lets go for it,so i found a tree I could climb easily,so i undressed,but left my tanktop on and climbed this tree which was about 30-35 feet high,but i didn't go all the way to the top.I went up I guess about 15-20 feet and perched on a big branch that went off the main trunk-I then squatted on the branch while holding onto the trunk and when i felt secure and comfortable,i relaxed my anus and let out a hi! ssing fart as i looked toward the ground to see the turds fall-then my morning poo rope started to come out-it was soft and came out pretty fast with a lot of THhhhhhhhhh-fart fart thhhhhhh as i saw it falling to the ground and when the poop hit the ground,it just splattered like mudbombs-it felt so good to push out this stuff from 15 feet high-I haadn't done this since I was about 11-12-it was fun!Then i felt done and i couldn't wipe up there so i climbed down and wiped my butt on the ground,surprisingly,it wa a claen wipe i guess cause i was squatted on the branch-then i looked up at the spot i was perched on and saw a long skid mark on the side of the branch-i guess as i wss dumping,some poop,nicked the branch below my butt-it was kinda funny to see-then i looked at my pile which was splattered in a 4 foot area-it looked pretty funny,but I have to admit,it was fun to do-this forum has given me all kinds of ideas-thanks folks for all the input-it's great!!Then as i was bikin! g back,i had to poop again,so i found another spot and undrssed and just stood up and spread my buttocks wide and pushed out a bunch of morning pudding,again with a lot of gas-it was a noisy one-I pooed almost as much as i did in the tree-if i was sitting on a bowl it would have been sooo noisy-I sometimes really enjoy those kind of BM's-i just love the way it feels as the turds are coming out with all that gas with it-it such a relief!I'll tell you ,lately Ive been pooing like crazy in this hot weather-2-3 times a day,and it'sd been real soft and gassy too,but fells sooo good to let out!( must be the watermelon and fruit i've been eating along with a lot of water and juice) Then after pushing out my anus for about 5 mins i was totally done-then wiped again and it was a bit messy this time,i guess cause i was standing-sometimes it's really fun to poop standing,again got the idea form this forum!then got dressed and headed back.Didn't see my lady friend today-hope i can run int! o her soon-Now watch,just my luck,i'll never run into her again-I hope not! wish me luck!Boy what a fun morning of pooing that was!!BYE
Kathy and I just got back from a few days upstate with friends. First some hellos before I post this morning's experience.
Carmlita - I am so glad to see that you are alive, well and writing with passion again, seniorita. You gave us quite a scare, young lady. When someone means a great deal to me, and you certainly do, I worry when they are not well, it's just my nature. That you are back on your feet again is great. Oh, your latest story about Tesa filling up your bowl was excellent, written as only you can. I am only sorry that your ????? hurt from the pain killers. Believe me, I know the feeling. And about the "old man" thing: I go around calling myself an old man, just to tease people. At 54, I do not consider myself old, I just say that to get a rise out of people. That you feel that I am "seasoned like fine wine" is especially sweet. You take good care, I'll talk to you again soon. Please say hello to your gang for me. Love Ya, Big HUG and KISS!!! Rich.
Diane - New York (who thinks that she is gonna melt) - Hi Diane, Yeah I heard last week was very hot in New York. The old lady and I were upstate, and it was not much better. Glad you liked the story about Carmen, she is a very special person to me, almost like a second daughter. That I got to see her crap was totally unexpected and totally enjoyable. Now about Maranello. I have seen guys that big and bigger. But I just can't imagine a gal that big. She must be one awesome lady, and to crap the way she does is something else! Stay cool, I hope to talk to you again soon.
Bill M - Your story on 06-28, the one about the lady jogger, was terrific. That she wanted you to watch and wants to do it again sounds interesting, to say the least. It almost sounds like my running and sometime dumping partner Noreen. Good luck, I hope the two of you enjoy many buddy dumps.
Gruntley Bogwell - Great story about your aunt soiling the bowl. So you were just "honing" your peeping techniques? Unreal! You come up with some of the best posts to this forum.
Buzzy - You and Donna are really a hot item! The latest story was great, you two seem to be really enjoying it. Outstanding, neighbor!
Jane - I was thinking more specifically about food items like corn, eggs, soy and wheat. Many people, including myself, are allergic to these items, and consuming them can cause gas and loose stools. In any case, you certainly have interesting poop sessions, and your posts are well written. Take care.
Anonymous - That was one hell of a fine story, with you under the house watching your wife and her friend. Sometimes these things just happen naturally, like your experience. That your wife thought it was funny is not surprising. When I have related my outdoor experiences to my wife, her reaction has been the same. Still, your story was great, almost a "Gruntley Bogwell" type of experience.
Hi also to Kim and Scott (Beautiful girl with the hot car who passes super logs!), Jeff A and Rizzo.
OK, yesterday, the wife and I left the Adirondacks late. We flew down the Northway, but after traveling a short distance south on the Thruway, we had to stop. I was almost falling asleep behind the wheel, so we pulled off and found a motel. It was fairly crowded and the man and women who checked us in were nasty. My wife's eyes were flashing tomahawks at the two of them, she was so angry. We would have left if we hadn't been so tired, so we decided to prank them instead. This morning, after eating a large breakfast at a nearby diner, both of us felt huge bowel movements descending. When we got back to our room, my wife went into the head, and left the door open. She pulled her jeans and panties to her knees, and sat as only a woman can, her legs together, arms folded across her lap. Almost immediately, I heard a low crackling noise, as her anus opened to let a turd out. The crackling continued for a few seconds, then my wife grunted, indicating the turd was in the bowl. I! then heard a loud fart followed by another grunt, then a long pee followed. Kathy passed a couple of smaller turds, with soft grunts, wiped and got off the bowl. I looked inside and there was a 16" long 3" wide smooth poop, with 3 more about 6" long. OK, My turn. I dropped my slacks and drawers, sat and crackled out a long log. It felt really good to pass and it burned a little as it passed. It must have been all of the hot sauce I had been consuming. I peed, passed one more pretty good sized log, wiped, pulled up my pants and washed up. The bowl was really full, and its contents were going nowhere. I grabbed a piece of white cardboard that I had brought in from the 'vette, and my wife gave me a green marking pen from her purse. I wrote on the cardboard "TO THE NASTY INNKEEPERS HERE, WHO TREAT THEIR GUESTS LIKE SHIT: HERE IS A FRESH LOAD OF IT, JUST FOR YOU, PROVIDED BY YOUR FRIENDLY, NEIGHBORHOOD TOILET CLOGGERS. ENJOY! HA! I placed the sign on the H2O box, and we checked ! out and left. I don't deal well with nasty people, so I felt that it was appropriate to give 'em the business.
Until next time, Take care everyone.
Plunging Plop Guy
Hi, and just a few comments on what I've read here.
SARA, If I ever get any shit on my fingers, I dig my nails in soap then wash using the nails of the other hand to extricate any matter still in the nails,make sure the soap's clean, and finally put some TCP or mild disinfectant on my fingers.
Any smell remaining after all that can only be imagination!
SHANICE, I'd love to do a performance like you described and with all that arse-splashing too! Whatever did you eat to produce all that?
The toilet pan must be really large to accommodate all those turds and still allow the water to splash like it did, can you describe the toiletpan as well?
BRYIAN, That "Jackass" you saw on MTV sounded brilliant with the young construction workers being heard grunting and plopping on the toilet, but what is it? Is it a comedy? a documentary? and is it regularly featuring items of a toiet nature?
If only we could get such programmes here in Britain!
JEFF A, Put me down as well for PoopCon 2001!
I'd love to really need to have a good one and sit on a good deep British type toilet along with Jacob G, Drew, Mark, Justin and all the other guys who love to shit and hear and see each other with no doors or partitions!
Imagine such a symphony of farts and plops and bonding!
LINDA who wrote about translucent TP. What does your boyfriend think about using it now, and do you sometimes hear him wiping his arse?
I think it's quite likely some people dislike it because others can hear you using it, and perhaps tear off the sheets very quietly!
All for now, Happy brown bombing! P P G
To Jeff A,
Hi there, my friend. There's no need to apologise to me over the time taken to respond, because I understand only too well how all your time can be taken up. It's pretty much the same with me at the moment, as I'm playing some serious catch-up at work after all the recent extra training I underwent prior to my recent test. Oh, and thanks again for the congrats with regard to my promotion. My training partner and I are now being pushed as instructors instead of assistant instructors, which might mean even less spare time. I was shocked a few days back when someone actually addressed me as 'sensei', a title I have not yet earned. A simple 'Steve' is quite all right! I'm essentially just the same as before, and I hope I'm still seen as being approachable.
To add Aikido to a knowledge of Wing Chun also adds unpredictability, and both are tactile arts while WC protects the centre line and Aikido of course is spherical. It seems where someone practices one art, he can also be drawn to the other. Respect to that prison officer!
A Wing Chun based White Crane form would be very powerful if well developed. If it works, use it!
Now back on topic...
Your 'PoopCon 2001' idea is very amusing. Yes, I can see it now. The first thing that sprang to mind when I read your paragraph on that was Louise drinking pint after pint of water in a challenge to all comers among the ladies to outpee her for volume produced and flow rate.
Could any of the ladies possibly outpee the mighty Louise?
Alternatively, how about a precision standing peeing competition for the ladies? Of course, the lovely PV would be a participant to be reckoned with, as well as all the lovely ladies posting here who have had the benefit of Louise's expert advice over the past year or more. There could even be a 'plopping' competition between Louise and Kendal as to produces the greatest number of plops when taking a dump, though undoubtedly that would prove to be one of those occasions when Louise's system happens to produce a single piece a foot long and three inches thick in the middle. Oh yes, the WSPC group would be out to recruit new members. I can certainly imagine a ripple of excitement in hushed tones as Kim announceed she was ready to do what she is famous for! There would have to be a special stage constructed, possibly a toilet seat for her to sit on, mounted on a kind of frame that allowed viewing from underneath. She would 'crash out' her log in her usual manner, with everyon! e watching from below. It would be better to have the spectators form a crescent at the rear of course, as obviously there might be problems if she happened to urinate as well! Without a doubt, the spectacle of Kim's log would need to be captured on camera. The
'Shits Illustrated' publication would have plenty of material after the convention. I'm sure there would be a place for Louise's little brown nuggets in there too. Of course Carmalita would be a star attraction, of course she would be! As you say, it would be another contest to see who could withstand the aroma the longest.
Louise's mother, the Senior Diva, would also be there as a highly experienced exponent of the standing pee. How about, as an event, a distance standing pee event with both males and females free to enter. My money of course would be on a lady winning. The seven foot distance of which Louise and her mother are capable would need some beating.
Yeah, I think between us we would have the security angle covered as well.
All in all, quite a fun concept, don't you think?
Cheers, Jeff, and take care. I'll speak to you again soon!
Hola, senorita bonita. It's great to have you back. Your posting conveyed your usual cheery latina personality, and I'm glad you haven't physically suffered too badly. Your skin will probably be a little delicate for a while, so it might be best if you stay out of the strong
sunlight for a little while, hmmm?
It sounded as if you are on top stinky form as well, if your latest story is anything to judge by. I trust that you left some those male orderlies some wonderfully stinky presents in bedpans?
Have a hug from me.
Hello there, darling. Yeah, I have been wondering about the lady who invaded the gents' that time. As I had been alone in there, it is just possible she had been watching the door for someone suitable to enter. You are right though, as it was actually perfectly harmless, and having her watching did not make me dry up, as I had needed a good pee. As you say, what an event it would have been if she had used the neighbouring urinal! Perhaps the idea did cross her mind, but who can tell? I'm so glad you are feeling so confident now. More power to your bladder!
Yes, Louise chose to squat as my friend's girl had done. I reckon she thought that three stains on the wall would look a little odd to the other couple, so she decided another spread out puddle would look more customary. I'm not sure if my friend's girl is anything other than
conventional when it comes to weeing.
On the subject of standing, Louise's friend Jackie came out with us on Saturday. That was an occasion when Louise did leave a stain down the wall, as did Jackie. It was a spectacular sight as both girls lifted their short dresses and blasted the wall from a distance of around 3 feet!
Now, as I promised you, here is the second of those incidents from two weeks ago...
I do hope it does not cross the line as far as the moderator is concerned, but here it is in its entirety.
It was a quiet little party at our house. Apart from Louise and myself, her mother was present, and her two friends Jackie and Emma were also there. I was feeling a little tired that night, and although I was there with a glass of beer in my hand, I contented myself with slumping
quietly in a chair and letting the ladies get on with all their chatting and gossiping.
Now, after a little while, the four of them seemed to huddle together, and began speaking in whispers to each other. Every few seconds, they turned to look at me, wicked grins on their faces and bursting into giggling fits whenever I noticed their gaze upon me. I was feeling
conspired against, as if I was about to become the victim of one of their little jokes.
"What?" I said finally, my voice shaking with mirth.
"Will you show Emma the bathroom? She wants a wee wee", Louise uttered in the middle of a giggle.
I had noticed Emma shifting her feet slightly, and now she too was giggling and struggling to maintain her bladder control.
"I have to just take her there, right?" I enquired of Louise. "Couldn't I just tell her which door it is?"
"She might get lost", Louise answered innocently. "Couldn't you go with her?"
I got up from my chair, and under the collective gaze of Louise, her mother and Jackie, I escorted Emma up the stairs, and I showed her into the bathroom. To my surprise, she closed the door while I was still in the room. Apparently, Louise had dared her to have me watch her
urinate, and she had risen to the challenge. There was none of the previous shyness I have know from Emma as she lifted her dress, pulled her g-string down and off, and sat herself down on the toilet seat. She parted her legs so that I could see her genitals fully, and then seemed
to concentrate for a few seconds while looking down at her pussy.
"I can't do it!" she exclaimed, and with some sympathy I thought about your previous problems.
I even offered to go outside if she felt so 'shut-off' that she could not start. She declined to let me go, took a few deep breaths to relax herself, then made an announcement.
"Okay, it's coming it's coming", she said triumphantly.
I watched closely as her pussy began dripping slowly, then a slow trickle began running down her pussy and tinkled in the water. The flow increased in pace, spluttered, and then hissed in a twisting stream for around 15 seconds before becoming a stop-start affair. After something
approaching 3 minutes (there had been around a minute of slow trickling), she finished and wiped herself while I watched.
"Did you like that?" Emma asked, blushing slightly but smiling sweetly.
I told her she had looked very beautiful, and she put her g-string back on, then flushed the toilet.
We returned downstairs to see the conspiring, wicked looks of the remaining 3 women.
Shortly after, next up was Louise's mother, who simply grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs. Off came her knickers and she sat down on the toilet seat. There were no delays from the senior Diva as she checked I was watching, then blasted the front wall of the toilet bowl
with a strong, focussed stream. She actually tried to excuse herself by saying she needed to be accustomed to weeing in my company, but I can tell you that she needed no such conditioning!
It is unusual for a man to be in the habit of watching his girlfriend's mother urinating, but I have to say I do enjoy seeing it happen! She will be fine in Spain, no worries there. When finished, she wiped dry her short trimmed narrow blonde triangle, and we returned to the others.
Jackie was the third to need to wee, and like the others, she removed her g-string and sat down on the bowl. For a minute, she squirted a surging, twisting yellow urine stream, and she too wiped herself and did not bother to put her g-string back on.
Louise took a while longer before taking me to the bathroom, but when we arrived, unusually for her nowadays, she too sat on the toilet. Unleashing the fiercest stream of the group, she told me that all this was the result of a 'dare', a challenge to the other women to give me an exciting little memory to keep forever. What a memory! Louise pulled me to her and planted a kiss on my cheek, grinning mischievously at me.
During the rest of the evening, I was taken to the toilet more times than I can remember. There were different themes to the urinations. The second one each girl did was a standing wee into the toilet, for instance. The third was the 'scissors' style that Rizzo introduced into things, and I must say it is good to watch!
I allowed them to watch me also, and it was generally all four women standing around watching me weeing into the toilet. I cannot repeat some of the comments they made! Much of this was alcohol fuelled, but it was all very good natured, and I have to say, great fun!
The following morning, after all the women had simply crashed out at our house rather than go all the way home, they all had breakfast together while I made ready a bath for myself.
I don't know why I didn't realise it, but none of the women had been to the toilet at all that morning after waking. I was quite happy to leave them alone to have some space to themselves while I had a soak in the tub. As well as that, I thought Emma looked a little awkward and
embarrassed about her behaviour the previous night, and that I of course had seen _everything_. After I had become settled in the bath, to my surprise, Emma opened the door and came into the room, walking up to the bath. I was decent enough, the suds were covering the most important area.
"Steve", she began, looking a little shamefaced. "Sorry. I hope you don't think I'm a <derisory term deleted>".
"No, not at all", I tried to reassure her, and told her it was a little fun that Louise had started as a little joke.
"Good, because we are going to warm the water up for you!" she said loudly. I realised this was a cue for the other to come in. Emma (to an extent) had been _acting_!
One by one, the four women each performed a 'backward shot' wee into the bathwater, giving me a fascinating view in each case. I think that by now, Emma was genuinely shocked at her own behaviour!
"Oh my God", she giggled, hands over her face when considering the enormity of what she had done and what I had seen. Jackie was the same after she had squirted her own golden stream backwards into the water. Embarrassed and excited simultaneously, she hid behind her hands.
Louise's mother was not worried that way, and simply asked me if I had enjoyed the action.
What else could I say but yes?
I could not see the actual colour of the water, but I had to wonder if it was yellow by the time my darling Louise aimed her pussy at the bathwater and squirted around another litre of urine into it.
Still, I realise I was a very lucky guy to have had that experience to enjoy! I hope you enjoyed reading about it half as much as I enjoyed living through it.
Yep, I look forward to going to Spain. I don't know if you will be aware, but there is industrial action by bus drivers in Majorca and Menorca, which is having knock-on effects on flights, even to the point of affecting air traffic to the Spanish mainland. I hope it will be all resolved by the time we are due to go...
Bye for now,
Lawn Dogs Kid
Well, Well !! Seeing as Kendal's version of my story has made it on this site, I've decided to employ her as my editor, now that she is likely to be around most of the time when I shall be posting !
Holiday Story Part Two.
Kirsty arrived as my second birthday treat at lunch time. She had volunteered to fetch me so we could all eat out together, but not before she had led me into the bathroom with her. Lunch time is Kirsty's usual poo time, and this was no exception. She made no bones about it either, standing outside the apartment door waiting for me to answer her knock with her hand clasped firmly over her bottom ! "I thought you weren't going to answer and that I would poo myself right there on the doorstep" she told me as she flew towards the bathroom. I dashed in after her, and she had already pulled her bathing suit down to her knees and sat. Kirsty is well known to both Kendal and me for her "loud" toilet visits, and I certainly feel very lucky that she will let me, just a friend, and a male one at that, watch her so comfortably when just a few short months ago, she wouldn't have even let her Mum or her Sister in the bathroom with her, and she would always flush the toilet first to h! ide the noise she made ! Well, on my birthday, her bottom had been on the toilet seat no more than a second or two before there was the loudest kerplop, and then her wee tinkled loudly into the water. Kirsty very often goes red in the face, more from concentration on the job in hand than anything else, but her red face was from the relief she was feeling from having made it to the toilet just in time, which she confirmed with a gasp, "Ahhhhhhh, emmmmmmmmm, thank God for that"! Not only did her wee go torrenting loudly below, but it was soon followed by a huge hissing as her wee turned more into a sprinkle, and as this happened there were three more equally loud plops, one every five seconds or so, and then as her wee finally tailed away, there was one last delicate little splish noise, which made me smile. She smiled back at me, and then informed me that that was my lot ! I took that as my cue to give her some privacy while she wiped and re-dressed herself, before she led m! e off to lunch. After lunch, more the middle of the afternoon really, I decided to return to revise, and Emily came back with me on the pretext of collecting a ball to throw around in the swimming pool ! She wasn't lying either. She did take a ball back with her too, although it was some minutes later !!
Apparantly I've passed the Kendal edit she says !
CHAD: Regarding the subject you raised, I have every sympathy with your thoughts on that matter !
UPSTATE DAVE: Like Kendal, I've enjoyed your stories. It certainly made me laugh reading Kendal's reply to you. We both thought about visiting that wood again just to see if that chair is still there ! However, given Kendal's comment about the bird poo, I doubt I could get her to reconstruct your vivid memory for me !
LOUISE: Kendal is going to try the drinking and weeing trick on the toilet tomorrow afternoon when I can watch. She says she can't do it in the bath because we don't have baths together ! But boy, am I glad we both still like going to the toilet together !
RIZZO: In my last post (deleted), I did make a point to let you know that Kendal is coping with things very well. And it certainly feels so much easier and somehow less of a fraud to give her the cuddles she wants now than it did when I was revising. Although she was perfectly happy cuddling on my knee while I revised, it was like I wasn't really paying her any attention at all. That has now changed big time, and we are both so much looking forward to the school holidays as well ( and Kirsty too ). By the way, the trip to Cumbria this weekend went very well. Steve, Thomas' Dad, is a really wonderful man and made me feel very welcome on my first visit, as did Emily and kate. He reminds me of you with his care and attention. And before you ask, no I didn't help with changing Thomas' nappy. I left that to Kendal !! Hope your trip to Cambridgeshire has gone/ is going well, and Kendal and I both very much look forward to your return ! Love Andrew.
Monday, July 02, 2001
I travel a lot...I've been to Africa, China, Thailand, Central America, eastern Europe, Mexico, Caribbean. They always say "don't drink the water". I disagree. I drink everything in sight. And because of that (I think), I never get diarrhea. Maybe a little loose here and there, but never the "stay near the toilet" type of the runs. I think you get used to the various bacteria after a while. We were actually drinking water out of a huge swamp in Africa (the guide said it was ok). What the hell. No prob. Or perhaps all the beer killed the germs. I mean, after all, people who live in Mexico do not have constant squirts. They are used to the water and whatever is in it.
Hey everyone. I'm a lurker around here, but I love hearing the stories. It's great because it's something I can't really talk about with anyone in real life. It's just too embarassing for me to handle, as well as lots of other people. But this kind of communication makes it possible.
One thing that perplexes me is females and gas. I always hear my male friends fart. They usually don't care. They talk about how gassy they are sometimes. But with girls - they never even talk about it at all. But I know it must happen. They must just keep it very very private. They think it is unattractive and rude. Well maybe you shouldn't fart all the time, but if they're in pain or something, they shouldn't have to worry. And I don't see it as unattractive at all. I think it's kind of cute, I have no idea why.
Anyone have any stories about girls getting bad gas and being very embarassed? Or do girls just have no problem with that sort of thing?
Sometimes when I wipe I get poop on my fingers, and then even after I wash my hands real good, the poop smell won't go away. Does anyone have a cure for eliminating the poop smell from your fingers? I've washed and washed over and over again with soap, and it doesn't help. I even scratch the soap with my fingernails to clean under the nails, and I still have this lingering poop smell on my fingers. Putting cologne or perfume on it doesn't get rid of the smell, it just disguises it. Anyone have any suggestions?