For those that still remember me, I'm back -- it's been quite a while, huh?
I'm not even gonna try to read the month's worth of posts I've missed. (Maybe longer, actually, now that I think about it.) So I'll just comment on the day's worth of posts I have seen.
Bryian: You mentioned that woman falling asleep "on the job", as it were. I remember another instance of that from high school, which I heard in a roundabout way from some of my football player friends. It seems that the team was suiting up for a practice in the school gym, and one of the linebackers (named Frank) headed for the toilets before putting on his uniform. Well, the team was all ready to go and was heading out the door, when one of the other defensemen noted that Frank hadn't appeared since he left for the toilet. So this lineman heads for the stall, to find Frank with his shorts down and his head leaning against the wall. He was snoring pretty loudly, apparently. No word on whether he actually produced anything -- that was never mentioned in the rumors I heard.
Kendal and Ellie: Wait a minute, how much have I missed? What's this about sitting on laps and weeing? Please illuminate, since I'm now quite confused.
Melissa (NY): Great story, and I think I have an answer for your pee problem. I've noticed on long car trips that if I hold everything in for too long (both poop and pee) that's it's harder to release later. And yes, somehow the poop comes easily but the pee does not. I think it's possibly something relating to having both sets of muscles tensed up at the same time. Maybe it's different since I'm a guy, but my problem is usually a temporary inability to pee while standing up (remedied after a couple of days of normal, non-car activity). Maybe one of the on-site doctors can explain this?
And now, a story of my own.
Late last Saturday night, a female friend (stress "friend") and I decided to have a late meal and discuss the past week's events. I won't bore you with details about that, but we had a good conversation and a good time and it was quite early in the morning when I finally took her home.
So, it's about 4:00 AM (after the time change) and I'm driving back to my home to get to bed, since I have to work in the morning at 8:00. (Hey, time flies when you're having fun.) I then noticed that I also had an urge to pee. Nearing an elementary school that's along the main road before my street, an idea popped into my head and I made the turn into the school's drive.
Parking my truck in the lot, I made my way up the hill -- it's dark, remember -- and stepped onto the baseball field. There was a slight breeze blowing, and the night air was wonderful. "This is a great time for an outdoor pee," I thought to myself. Since the school has a wide and unlit grassy field all around it, no one in the nearby neighborhood was near enough to see me. So, I unzipped my jeans, turned to get the wind at my back, and let loose all over the backstop behind home plate. I peed for a good 30 seconds or so, watching as the wind carried the stream for another extra foot than I might manage on my own.
Having finished wetting things down, I stored my equipment and zipped back up. But then an urge to poop had hit me, and I contemplated where I might find a place to take care of that need. The baseball diamond would be too cold with that wind, after all. So I headed back down to the parking lot, where I noticed some short walls (for playing four-square) next to the swing sets. That would be perfect! I quickly popped back into my car to get a few napkins (for cleaning up, since I wasn't sure how the turd was composed) and headed over to the playground.
Now, the playground is nearer to the actual school building, so there was good lighting in the area. But I made quite sure that there were no cameras or anything potentially incriminating in the area before I began. Sticking the napkins in my jacket pocket for safekeeping, I unzipped my pants and pulled them down to my knees, leaning back against the wall as an aid. I squatted down, making sure my jeans were nowhere near my bum, and squeezed.
The turd started to slide out, somewhat quicker than usual, but still having a slight stiffness to start with. Then the turd fairly rushed out, becoming much softer and thinner as it extended. It was hard to tell when it finally broke off, since the soft ground gave me no sound indicator. But I do know that I kept pushing out smaller, softer turds for the next two minutes or so.
Having finally finished, I pulled the napkins out of my pocket. I don't know how many of you have ever been to Taco Bell, but they use these paper napkins that are unbleached, natural -- and quite rough as toilet paper. But that's what was in my glove box, so there you go. Anyway, I cleaned up as best I could, zipped up my pants, and turned to try and see my work. Mind you, it was quite dark behind the wall, but the big turd appeared to be a tapering 8 or 9 inches in length. Pretty good for a softy, I thought.
I covered up the whole pile with the napkins, then covered it with some playground sand to hide it. It was 4:15 at that point, and I was exceedingly tired, but quite pleased with the extra fun I'd had in addition to the evening's main outing.
Come to think of it, it's 4:15 again (Thursday morn) as I write this, and I've got an urge to poop. If that's good enough, maybe you'll hear about it too.
PS -- Melissa (NY): You've got a Viper? Sweet! What type and color, might I ask? (Just curious, nothing to do with toilet activities.)
Speaking about celebrities commenting on other countries bathroom habits. I saw Jennifer Love Hewitt on the Letterman show and she was disgusted by how the people (even women it seemed) peed in the streets in russia. She had only witnessed this once before and that was in New York. I am just as old as JLH and I have witnessed this dozens of times over the years.
JEFF A - Get well soon. I hope you are not away from here
for too long.
RIZZO - Hi! I have just tried the way your wife used to
have a wee in the sink. I am tall enough to do it with
one foot on the floor and the other on the top of the
sink and I quite like it. I tried it with our bathroom
sink and I am glad it was not our steel one because I
felt the cold even on the porcelein! I got the back of
my leg splashed a bit but I did enjoy it.
PV - I am sorry you have been waiting for me to write.
Steve is right, I am very busy at work just now so I
have been too tired to write a letter.
I had a wee over the top of my track suit pants
last night into the bath. I had to pull them down a
little bit at the back so I could get them down far
enough at the front. I thought it was quite a bit of
fun and I watched myself in the mirror that Steve
held for me. I think it is a little bit easier to wee
over the top of nice pants with a stretchy waistband
than with ones that open at the front. If there is a
zip or buttons then they flap about a bit when you
have them pulled down a bit, but if they stretch then
you know they will not move and put you off! You can
hold them down easy enough with your free hand too!
Yesterday I went into the men's toilets and I was
nearly caught by a guy who came in. I hid in one
of the cubicles with the door closed and I kept my
feet back because I was in my heeled shoes. I had
not had my wee yet and I just waited for this guy
to finish doing his and go out of the room before I
came out of the cubicle. I quickly took off my knickers
and I let rip into the urinal the guy had just used.
LOL I wondered if he had seen the venus symbol I had
drawn above there. Again I forgot to wash my hands and
I bet I scented the door handle a little bit.
Steve wants to write now so I need to let him on.
kim and scott
greetings all! this is kim. recently my neighbor who is getting up in years asked me to walk his rottweiller dog for him. the dog is named randy. my neighbor was not feeling too well and i liked my neighbor alot so i readily agreed. my neighbor lives in a big marble house in the spacious woods in back of me. this house also includes a swimming pool a concert area where he hires singers to sing for his guests in the summertime and other great things. well anyway i began to walk his dog who is nicely trained and well behaved. its all in how you train a dog folks in how it will behave,today my hair was long,blond and center parted. i was wearing a red tank top,black spandex pants and white sneakers on my feet. I was walking the rottweiller around my neighborhood and places nearby. after awhile i started to walk the dog back to its owner. i had to pass the pretty deep woods to get there. earlier in the day i had two huge bowls of a high in fiber cereal to eat loaded with sliced ba! nanas on top and a huge lunch of chicken,macaroni and cheese and salad.. as i was walking the dog back i felt the overwhelming need to take a MASSIVE SHIT! i was hoping i could drop the dog off quickly then run home and crash my log out there but my log wasnt having any of it. my log had to come out right now! boy! did i have to shit folks as i immedietly dropped the dog leash to the ground. this dog was very obedient he stayed in place. and since their was nobody else around in these lonely woods except us i decided to strip off all my clothes and have my log in the nude! a practice i just love doing! when i took off all my clothes and was as naked as can be i crouched down like a baseball catcher on the dry wooded leaves to bang my log out. i then noticed a fallen brown tree nearby and decided to kneel on the tree to crash my log out. so thats what i did .I knelt my nude quivering buff body on the tree as i stuck my ass out. I then let out a thunderous fart as i began to pus! h out the woods to care what i was doing as i pushed again and my log grew larger and larger! I then closed my eyes and squeezed real hard as my log grew into a mammoth beast! "woof-baby-woof!" i said aloud as i watched the dog play and wiggled my ass from side to side.as i was really having fun in the woods doing this!. i then squeezed harder as my immense log grew still larger! i then looked at my log and could not believe the sheer size,thickness and length of it. It boggled the mind. it was like i was squeezing a brown missile from my ass! my ring was so outstretched i thought it would rip! i then started to piss as my whole body shuddered greatly as my enormous bowel movement got a hell of a lot larger without me even pushing it! i knew my sphincter was losing total control now. my log had a mind all its own! i then closed my eyes and waited for my huge log to come out of me by its own power. i did not have to wait lon! g as my whole body shuddered violently again.and whammo! bammo i blasted out the rest of my whopping log. it shot out of my like a cannonball blast! i moaned "OOOOOHHH!" in unbelievable pleasure. i then started to piss again. i pissed like a broken faucet. i then let out a booming fart that cleared my insides.. it was lucky that i brought my pocketbook with me . i had enough tissue to wipe my still quivering,much excited ass with. i wiped myself as i knelt on the tree trunk. i then took out my measuring tape and measured my elephant sized turd at 28 inches long. 4 inches thick. a record for me in size and circumference.wow! what a whopping log this was! i then quickly got dressed and whistled the dog over to me. he came immedietly. even though this dog wasa male he had no interest in seeing a naked blond lady squeeze out an enormous log in the woods. the dog was too busy chasing squirrels to care!haha! i then walked the dog back to its owners house. and threw the used tissue ! away in a outside trash can of his. i even picked the rottweiller dog off the ground when i came to a mud path. i did not want the dog all muddy when i returned him. i am pretty strong huh? carrying an adult heavy dog like this. i then let the dog down and rang the doorbell."well how did you like walking my dog?' the owner said as he let his dog inside the opened door."I liked it!" i replied with a smile as i said my goodbyes. i did like walking his dog but i liked crashing out my super- log better!haha!even though my woods are pretty deep i rarely have a log in there. maybe i will have no choice soon since my logs are becoming too big for my toilet to swallow!haha! i should have a log in the woods in front of my boyfriend scott. i bet he would like that!haha!i thought all these things to myself as i walked home happily.hoped ya liked the story! TO JOHN (VT) and logger-too bad i did not take pictures of my huge log and could not mail it to you because you guys would of LOVED ! it!haha! plus when i was little my mother knew i had big logs but now that i am older she hasnt seen one of my logs as an adult. if i showed my mother how gargantuan my logs are now i think she would faint in shock!seriously!haha!and your right logger i must have a super-colon to continually bang out enormous log after enormous log like this. i am lucky! i love it! my boyfriend scott loves it! and i am glad the people on this site love hearing about it too!i thank you all for that! bye now!
and HAPPY PASSOVER AND EASTER ALL! love,kim and scott
The railroad right-of-way and tracks ran through the woods behind a house in which I used to live. One summer the railroad crew was doing some track repair and maintenance on this stretch of track. One evening while taking a walk in the woods I came upon a huge pile of mushy light brown shit. Several pieces of brown paper toweling, a handkerchief, a t- shirt and a pair of boxer shorts lay along side of it, all had been used by the guy to wipe his ass, lucky he didn't run out of clothes before he had it clean.
DONNIE - I had posted several items including those army tales of the latrines and toilets and some other stuff, so you know which and what and who this is..
I used to work construction for a large company doing everything as they were non-union and you did whatever the job was for that day. We we building a complex of many large manufacturing bildings and the company had taken over a real old 100+year old house and made it into an office. The place was on the site that was being built on as it was an old farmhouse from the 1800's. It was used as the toilet and washroom on the work site. There was a lot of equiptment on the site, So they had hired a man as a nite watchman to live on the site rent free and paid him as well. he was a single gentleman but was huge, that is very very obese. He was about 6' tall but weighed in at a good 400 pounds. He had a very huge "beer belly".
So there were times we had nothing much to do and would sit and talk on a rainy day or waiting on materials. In the evening I and a few friends might stop by with a few six packs of beer and we would B.S. for a time. The house had a toilet on the second floor where the old bathroom was and we of course made trips up there to pee and sometimes take a crap. The story here is that this guy who we called "Big Bob" due to his size as I said lived here at the site. He would go and take a shit sometimes while we were there visiting. Now, you hear of some bad smell, stinky jobbies, strong odor. I can tell you this fellow would go in the crapper and drop a load. You could hear him grunting and the plopping upstairs. Afterwards, man, the stench was so great, Id swear the pant on the walls would curl. We would have to call and say we were leaving, good nite and bye, cya later!
After that one time I guess he knew that his crappin was so smelly and stong he would say, "well boys, I gotta take a dump" and we all would clear out. Its no lie, you could drive up to the house and Bob had taken a shit. Open the car door OUTSIDE and you eyes would burn. The smell was so odd, like burnt onions garlic, beer,and a 10 day old constapation all in one. We learned to steer clear of the joint when he was taking a bath or dump.
I worked there for about a year, quit, went to a steel mill for more money. BiG Bob was there for about 3 years till one day he went to visit his family and didnt come back. He had fallen ill, and rushed to a hospital where he was operated on, and failed to recover. I found out a few weeks later from old co workers he had passed away. I wondered what it was that caused the terrible foul smelling bowel movement he had. It was so bad almost like something had died and decayed in his gut. Maybe he had some disease for a long time and he or no one knew. I just wondered if anyone ever had been around a person that dropped a load and the stench was so bad it was eye watering and strong that would make you leave the area -now! I swear the paint on the walls peeled off, and the whole house did have that lingering odor for days, even after he was gone I understand. Comments appreciated...................
More army stories and other goodies later including some school stuff.......DonnIE
I'm sure the little town of Klute got it's name from someone's last name or
something, but the joke has it that it was named after someone taking a
dump off a bridge. When it hit the water it went "Klute!"
The headers on this page have been fantastic! I always have a hard time
editing out the little 'H's on their foreheads though! Ha! Ha!
Has anyone heard about a greek godess named Klytaemnestra? (the
spelling is probably wrong). My classic literature class said depictions of
her were "seated atop a cauldron". When my classic lit professor mentioned
her, he looked right at me. He looked amazed that I wasn't shocked or
anything and he repeated himself. I always thought that was a little wierd
MOVIE OF THE DAY
"Once upon a time in America" . This is a really good one about young
gangsters growing up in america in the 20's and 30's. In the bathroom
scene, the handsome young lead actor is sitting on the John when the future
neighborhood harlet walks in. "At least you could lock the Door" she says
as she comes in and closes it behind her. The conversation then turns to
sexuality as she tries to strike a bargain with him for sexual favors. Letting
his hormones get the best of him , he stands up and takes her in his arms.
"You better stop squeezing me or I'm gonna poop in my pants!" she says.
At this point, his desire withers away and she sits down on the commode.
The scene ends with her asking "Well are you getting out?"
This one is a triple buddy wee. When I was in college, my friend Fred always knew where
the parties with the hot babes were. Fred had scoured the entire campus and found that the
scuba diving club was having a party. Who goes to scuba parties? Rich guys with boats.
Who goes to see Rich guys with boats? Scores of great looking women! Even though I
was a not-so-rich guy with a boat, Fred and I went to this thing and it was not long before
I was in the long line at the bathroom. This was at least a 20 min wait. Next to me was a
cute Meg Ryanish little blonde (we'll call her Jill) and her more serious friend. Her friend
was also blonde and wore a black velvet stovepipe hat, a white blouse, and black vest.
Cute Jill had on a tan blouse with olive colored shorts that showed off her lovely legs. We
started talking and after a while I joked about us going into the bathroom together. To my
amazement, the hotties took me up on it. Jill was pretty conservative and had probably
never done anything wild and crazy in her life, so she loved the idea. I think her friend just
went along with it because of Jill. We all went in together and Jill sat down on the toilet
and began to pee. I peed in the sink. I stole a glance at Jill and she giggled and turned beat
red. When we were finished, her friend sat down. She finished peeing and then there was
silence. I was still intoxicated with the moment when her friend became a little irked. She
needed to unload and here Jill and I were, standing in front of her like a judges panel. We
tried to let her know it was ok to poop but we didn't do a good enough job of makng her
feel comfortable. We all left and she was mad at having to get back at the end of the line. I
tried this approach again at another of Fred's finest parties and it almost happened again. A
beatiful drunken princess and I ended up in the bathroom together. She had long flowing
brown hair and a delicate white blouse. She was acting like she had to poop and was about
to sit down when her self-righteous friend with her muscle-head boyfriend started
pounding on the door. Well, so much for social change that night, and goodbye to one of
my best posts!
I also don't wipe . I'm curious why you don't
wipe your butt either?. (maybe it's the same
reason i don't wipe mine ;+))
To Justin: I loved your story man...cool one about dumping around other guys.
Yesterday evening I was jogging in the park near my house. It was still daylight. I felt I needed to poo, so without thinking, I stopped, pulled down my leggings, squatted slightly and a fat, moist turd burst onto the ground at great speed with no straining. I didn't see anyone around but I didn't check before I pooed. Without wiping, I pulled up my leggings and carried on jogging. 5 minutes later I needed a pee so I stopped and peed in my leggings then continued home. When I got home I went straight upstairs to the bathroom and took off my leggings. They stunk of pee and were encrusted with poo so I took a shower and cleaned myself up.
MOVIE FAN: You were asking about movies, thereís the movie ďAlmost FamousĒ with a pee scene, but the girl is gorgeous and sits on the toilet for quite awhile. If you use your imagination you could swear she was taking a good dump. At one point she even sits like she is. Itís worth a look. The movie kind of pissed me off though, because the band is such a bunch of spoiled jerkoffs. there is another movie called "Daddy's dying who's got the will?" which is a great movie. But there is a scene where a very attractive plump woman, comes out of the bathroom and her husband yells at her saying "Couldn't you light a match or something?" Anyway, it's a very, very long poop reference scene and because the woman is so cute IMHO, it's a hot scene. The husband keeps ranting on and on about how bad it stinks and she finally admits she's been on a special diet. It's a great scene, and a very entertaining movie.
Címon, bring back that picture of the black girl with the tatoo on her arm!!!! The one thatís squatting. She was only up there for a few seconds.
PV: Iíd forgotten that you live in Australia. We have handicapped stalls here too. Here I am, an American talking about a country I know nothing of. Forgive me. I am curious about one thing concerning you though: How did you ever get into the stand up peeing thing anyway? You are a very profound woman in your own special way, and Iím curious about what motivates you.
STEVE: Thanks for asking about me. Itís nice to know you care. Iím doing okay right now, just in a lot of pain. Iím pretty doped up though which helps. I canít walk very good. In fact I canít walk without crutches at all. Great story about the Sifuís headstone. Youíre right, that about says it all. I remember y Sifu from my Northern Shao Lin days. He was really amazing. Wow, a 3rd Dan? Thereís something about Aikido that just fascinates me to no end. I love the mechanics of it. I remember back at a summer sparring camp, a group of three women, all about 18-20 went off to a wooded trail packing a roll of toilet paper. They were gone for a good 15 minutes. Girls are so sexy in their Giís anyway that just the thought of what they were doing was near maddening for me! When they came back they said ďGuys, donít go up on that trail. Itís the smelly trail!Ē So of course I did the first chance I got. I followed my nose until I found a shrine of toilet paper near a stand of Alder t! rees. Under it was two fairly medium piles, and one huge monster pile of crap with an incredibly long turd beneath it. All the girls were cute, so it was great trying to guess who did the mystery pile, and the giant turd. One of my favorite martial arts memories.
KIM AND SCOTT: Kim I need some of your incredible stories! You and that hot body of yours! It would be so great to be able to witness one of your miraculous achievements. What a lucky guy Scott is! What do you look like anyway? Youíve told us what your body looks like, but do you look like anybody in particualar? Also, do you always have such big movements? Love you!
RENEE: How are you feeling these days? Taking lots of vitamins I hope. Thanks for the Patsy story. It was very vivid, I almost felt like I was there. How lucky you are to be there with that lovely African-American woman!
BEN: Don't worry about being nervous about pooping in public restrooms, it happens. One time I had that same fear, and what I did was pretend that I was in the ladies room, and there were nothing but women in each stall. I had to concentrate real hard, and when heavy shoes came in they'd sound just like high heels! It was an incredible fantasy! Then when I heard the pooping sounds it was very exciting! I continue with that fantasy often, and public restrooms aren't as fearful for me anymore. I hope that helps. If it still bothers you, then just flush every time you drop to mask the sound.
RIZZO: I was very touched by you playing Bachís largo in G for Heather. You are without a doubt, a very good man. My hat goes off to you sir.
Anyway, Iím feeling like Iíve been pulled inside out, and need to take a serious dump which I canít do by myself now. My poor wife! Sheís so funny though, she makes me laugh. She laughs at me, and goes ďrrnnnn-plop!Ē then giggles more. She'll also say "Hurry up honey, go poopie!"
So, I guess Iíd better go now. Bye!
She may have passed into gallery history by the time you read this, but the attractive black lady on Thursday's throne is sitting on a German toilet, probably a Geberit brand. In the US, you only see these wall-hung toilets in public rest rooms but in some European countries they're available for residences. Wall-hungs are great when you mop the bathroom floor, as I do when we visit my German in-laws. The tank is hidden behind the wall and that rectangular white device behind her head is the flush control. The user can control the length and strength of the flush, a big water saver. You push it a little way in then stop it to wash down a #1, or push it all the way in and let go for a mighty torrent that will whoosh away even the biggest #2 any poster to this forum could produce.
BEN - Don't worry about having a hard time of it at Wall-Mart. Try practicing some relaxation techniques, first at home. When you're seated and ready for a dump, imagine you're in a place that makes you feel very relaxed. Try breathing all the way in and out slowly. Keep doing that, then let all your muscles relax, starting with your neck and working your way down to your toes. That way, your sphincters will relax, too. If you practice that at home, after a while you may find that you can take a dump without much pushing, or maybe even none - that's the best. Then do the same thing when you're in a public restroom. Imagine you're all alone in your own world and nobody else is there. Relax and let nature do the work. Let us know how this works for you.
JUSTIN: Sure enjoyed your story about taking a dump in a doorless stall in the Highschool baseball team's changeroom. I've also had the experience of shitting in a doorless stall with guys coming into the stall to help themselves to the toilet paper for blowing their noses. Did the guys ask if they could get some paper from your stall or did they just come in and help themselves?
CURIOUS: You asked about what celebrities we would like to see taking a shit. My vote goes to Mark Wahlberg (Marky Mark). It would be great to see him on the crapper with his muscular thighs spread wide apart and plopping and farting away. Others I'd enjoy watching while they take a shit are Ben Affleck and Tom Cruise!
Well, the masthead girls certainly aren't around long these days. There for one day and they are gone. I missed the urinal girl, which was a great pity from what I've been told. I _loved_ the girl squatting to urinate over the drain. For me, she could have remained up there at the top of the page for good!
I've been looking at the likely urine flow rates for Louise and myself, based on volume measurements against time taken to empty before the flow is reduced to the dripping stage.
From our observations, then...
In the measurement she frequently quotes, Louise produced 1200ml in approximately 80 seconds. That gives her an average flow rate for that particular urination of 15ml per second.
We know that she has produced more volume than 1.2 litres on other occasions while taking a similar time to expel it from her body. A realistic figure would be 1.4 to 1.5 litres.
Supposing it was 1400ml then in approximately 80 seconds, she would have an average flow rate of approximately 17-18 ml per second.
A recent measurement of my output showed that I produced a pathetic 300ml in 25 seconds. That gives me an average flow rate of 12 ml per second, which is actually going to be close to the peak rate of flow, as I did shut off quite suddenly at the end with little noticeable reduction in output.
In Louise's case, I think the average rate of flow is significantly below her peak. In no way can my pencil thin streams be compared to her huge gushers. I think we will have to measure her output at the gusher stage more scientifically than we have so far by only taking into account her output in a 30 second period when her peak flow is established.
My head is still slightly scrambled after today, so if there are any glaring errors in my mathematics, everyone is invited to point them out!
Bye for now,
TO MOVIE HISTORIAN: Could you give us a list of movies with good male shitting scenes, like the one in "American Pie." Many of us at this site would sure appreciate it.
Hello to all toileteers!
So Helena is expecting twins! That is great news, although I am a bit late in remarking this! I hope everything goes well!
A rather amusing incident happened last week. With my wife and a friend I went to a concert (Rakhmaninov, 3rd piano concerto; for those of you who are curious); we have season tickets. Before driving there we met at our usual little restaurant for supper. With the grilled fish, salads and a sliced orange for dessert I had a beer. Before going to the restaurant I had already had two large glasses of water to dilute the beer to come. So off we went to the concert hall. There, first of all after going in, was to pay a visit to the loo. The beers (not only mine) had developed into a need to pee. So all three of us went down the stairs, the ladies turned off at the door to the left, I went into the gents straight ahead. There in the first large tiled area with marble clad walls are about 8 white washbasins with chromed fittings and mirrors and several hand dryers, each dryer with a stack of paper towels in a rack on top and a waste bin next to it. Turning left I walked into t! he even larger room with the urinals, ten on the left and ten on the right. Beyond that is another area with toilet cubicles, about 6 in all, I didnít count them. The urinals: white porcelain vertical half pipes five feet high and two feet across with a large drain with a sieve at the bottom. This kind of urinal serves all sizes, from the tiny little boy to the tallest man, only the ceiling is the limit! The floor is tiled light gray and a strip of about six inches just in front of all the urinals is of perforated stainless steel sheet; to catch the drops and dribbles I suppose, or maybe to make it easier for the cleaners. Each urinal is separated from the one next to it by a narrow strip of marble for added privacy. Each urinal has its own pressure flushing system with a button to press on top of a chromed fitting, then there is a little tank of desinfectant over each urinal, probably to release some of its contents with each flush. The flushes make a noise like an F16 fighter plane during take off. Well, not quite; please excuse my slight exaggeration. - I chose the second urinal on the right. Two other men in dark suits were in the same row, two more in the row on the left side. Everyone was spaced out as far away from the next as possible, was looking straight ahead at the wall, not saying a word. Just like in lifts or elevators when everybody treats everybody else as if they werenít there. Suddenly I heard the sound of a mobile phone ringing. It was a melodious programmed ring, with a sort of nanie-nanie-boo-boo quality to it. After the second repeat, the ring stepped up markedly in volume. Everbody started looking round! Only the man on the far left seemd to try to hide his face in the collar of his jacket while groping in his pockets with one hand! He suddenly shuffled and shifted his weight on to one leg and shook his other foot. He had probably peed his shoe trying to get hold of his phone! The back of his neck, very pink by now, contraste! d well with his dark blue suit. After four or five repeats of loud nanie-nanie-boo-boos the phone switched to the howling mode: a repetitive and piercing bleat! The man with the pink neck gave one last shake, zipped up and yanked the phone out of his pocket. He pressed the flush: WHOOOSSSSHHH! ďHelloĒ he yelled, then ďSpeak up, I canít hear you!!!Ē. Whooooooosh! went another urinal! Two more men had started to pee in the mean time. The phone carrier continued ďWhere I am?Ē WHOOOSSHHHHH! ďWhere do you think I am! At the concert, of course!Ē
Yeah, yeah, some concert! Grins all around!
PENNY, I simply love to read about your horse show episodes with your shy friend Linda! Her being so shy makes her really attractive in your stories! Is she blushing now, I wonder?
Yes, being a man makes it more complicated to poop outside because of all that dangling equipment between the legs. It is not only that the jobbies can topple against the scrotum as you have observed, but in front the pee stream can be erratic too! I have already peed against my left ankle when I wasnít careful when having a bm outside, because my dick is slightly bent to the left! Then there is another draw-back in being male. When I began riding I was about ten years old, and I remember that as a beginner I sometimes fell too far forward on to the saddle when trotting, squashing my balls painfully. Girls have an advantage there. Everything is flush mounted! Is that a reason why so many more girls take up riding?
Always looking forward to your next post, Rizzo
LAWN DOGS KID, thanks for your effort to put my mind at rest! I just hope that Kendal will be allowed to continue to live with her dad in future and remain only a short distance away from you and her friend Kirsty; meaning that I hope she will not end up in the cross fire of a legal battle over rights of custody. Keep loving her to pieces! Iíll try to assist you in the form of a few words on your computer screen from time to time! Cheers, Rizzo.
Hi PV, distant aunt, no, distant cousin might be better! Hey, I must be your senior by at least one and a half tons of jobbies, but judging by the size of your productions youíll catch up with me soon! And yes, you are almost exactly on the other side of this planet! And now Kendal will be out of reach visiting her mum and the new man the next weekend. So thatís just hard luck for you this time, isnít it? (Lopsided grin).
A peeing range of one bathtub length at normal operating pressure is a good distance indeed! You are one pioneer in this almost lost skill! Does it come in handy for your archaeological profession in any way? As a substitute for a pressure wash? Joke aside, discovering that you are an archaeologist really impressed me. Love from Rizzo.
PLUNGING PLOP GUY, your story about the poor chap who got catapulted bare arsed out of the bus toilet was a good one! It made me almost gag on my office lunch sandwich!
Hope you do regain control of your capricious digestive system!
DECLAN, Iím happy you liked my open latrine account. In the meantime Iíve found out how to spell ďsergeantĒ. My spelling did look somehow unfamiliar! What a disgrace! But you see, I am a bit out of practice by only writing short, terse and dry as dust business memos not necessarily in English!
KIM and SCOTT, Kim, to me you continue to be the Queen of Turds, well, Beauty Queen of Turds judging by the description of yourself and by the size of the single jobbie passed! The scene at the pool game was very entertaining too! It is just a pity you did not manage to maintain contact with the other lovely girl! But you were quite right not to; Scott might have made double bug eyes at her! Always looking forward to your next adventure!
RING STRETCHER, In ďLostĒ the woman only confided to need a motion to her partner in a whisper, if I remember correctly. She was too weak to push hard, too weak to cry out, she could only whimper. She died shortly after from this final exertion. Her partner survived the ordeal. I do not remember what happened to the skipper, but I think he was saved too, only to die some days later. Itís been some years since I read the book. I might still have it stored away in the attic somewhere; Iíll have a look round.
Donít overstretch that ring of yours!
Dear RENEE, very touching how you write about Patsy. She must be a real sweetie! You a gorgeous ex-cowgirl and she sure seem to match! These last days the first official and legal marriages between gays took place in the Netherlands. Itís about time some country started, donít you think so? Love to both of you! And with Jake and Carmalita plus her brother and sisters coming to see you, you will have a full house. Will the toilets stand up to such a strain??? I am already looking forward to what is going to happen there! Hugs and smiles to all of you from Rizzo
Dear KENDAL, you being mentioned at the end here does not mean that I think of you last! It is because I have been accumulating these messages on disk during the week, when there was some time to spare. Last in last out, so to speak. The ďlittle KendalĒstories by your dad are super! They just show how precious you are to him. And Lawn Dog Kidís account of combing your hair while you are plopping away down below endears you and him to all of us! It is as if I had been there in his place!.
Wish you the best for your weekend and donít forget to continue to keep this site your secret!!! Hugs from your uncle Rizzo!
So much for today,
cheers to you all, Rizzo.
Thursday, April 05, 2001
It would be Jennifer Lopez, Curious. And Melissa- 180 mph?! what kind of car do you have?
I just overhauled one of my toilets. I got a nice new plastic seat, flush handle, flush valve and ballcock. May as well overhaul it entirely after 10 years of use. The best part is that I got a flush valve with a taller overflow tube so I can have substantially more water in the tank. I don't flush for every #1 to save water, but when I do flush after doing a huge load of #2, I need the extra power, so I overhauled it. I put it to the test today with a huge #2 job, 17 wipes and a couple of wet wipes. Sucked it all away with one flush. SChluuuuurp!! Cool!
Hey Historian! Thanks for the info on "Cross My heart". Since you seem to know a lot about movies with pooping scenes, could you give us a list of movies that have female pooping scenes? The ones I can think of or have seen mentioned here are Senseless, Patch of Blue, Homage, possibly the Shooting (matter of opinion on that one), Labyrinth of Passion and Caged Heat. Are there any other movies you know of that show or make reference to women pooping? Thanks!
Luciane: Skid marks are a very common occurence and nothing to be ahamed of. A lot more women than you think get them. Sometimes even if you wipe totally clean, some residue inches its way out over the course of the day. I get skidmarks of some kind 4-5 days a week, so I just try to get as clean possible and rely on colored panties to make some of the stains less noticeable. Stay away from thongs, they are impossible to keep clen unless you have wet wipes or are willing to wipe yourself raw. It is generally difficult for women with meduim to larger butts to get clean, so if you fall into this category you are very normal.
Mgan (sarah): Speaking of Mongolia, I read an article about Julia Roberts doing a documentary on horses there. She was quoted as saying that it took her awhile to get used to going to the bathroom outdoors because they didn't always have normal toilet paper. She said she was scared at first to use other things, eventually became used to it.
Last week when I went to the toilet there was no paper in the roll so I had to use some crushed sheets of newspaper and that gave my bum a rash.
I have frequently had to take a poop outdoors, just last week I was seen taking one in a carrier bag by my neighbour as I had temporarily lost my house keys.
Probably the worst thing that has happened to me was when I was drunk and I was in my livingroom, I woke up the next day with my pants at my ankeles and found that I had pissed and crapped on myself and slept in my own vomit. The carpet is permanantly stained and the smell still lingers
how far can an anus expand to pass a wide turd? I'm afraid if mine get any wider they will split me open!
For something different when I'm home alone I go into the bathroom, strip naked and turn the lights off to crap. It is so cool to try. I did this last night as I grunted out another knobby log (20 minutes of pushing) Sometimes I'll lite a candle when I do this.
Daz, I loved your story. You have a way with words. Kept the descriptive words coming!
I'm anticipating a nice big poop now, home alone and waiting till the last minute to expel it......
I thought I was getting over my bathroom fear but we were at wal-mart
and i had to go so i went in and sat down and i couldn't go. I don't know what happened. Please help.
Please answer my posts !!!!!!!!!!!
Plunging Plop Guy
DAZZ, You and I seem to be telepathic! Your BRILLIANT description answered the question I asked on the same page in every detail!
Having read it I immediately went to the toilet for some "unfinished business" of my own, the first time in several days.
Yours certainly sounded like shitting heaven, but I've had a bit of shitting purgatory the last few days but have alleviated it for the moment with an osmotic softener (It draws water into the gut to ease the passage).
Thanks for restoring my faith in human ecstacy, although I was having some great moments, but not as consistently or healthily as you are obviously doing!
Pulling them back in a few times and deciding when to drop them-Don't you just LOVE being in control?!! Like shitting the same log over and over again!
I too tuck my privates between my legs when I sit down. I'd hate to sit with my thighs apart and miss out on any splashes that flew up and had nowhere to land if they missed the targets, but LOVE a big slap of cold water anywhere.
I can remember dropping a firm turd in a stainless steel toilet once and literally getting my entire toilet zone drenched when it plopped in. Did I feel terrific! Keep in touch!!
KYLE, Hi! I think you've answered all the points about your encounter with those guys when you were on the toilet. They were very persistent and I know one guy who would have told them to get lost and I hope you enjoyed a certain amount of control over the situation. At least they were forced to hear your plops and wait for you but I'm surprised they're told to bother guys having a shit.
I would be interested to know whether they made any comments or joked about your efforts and resultant sounds in response to anything you may have said? I think I might have tried to keep changing the subject back to the job in hand rather than anything to do with their doctrines!
Hope next time you go with no door, you don't feel hassled and that any audience has no spiel to sell you! Cheers!
Having a much better day today; my visits to the toilet were both quick and easier than recently. Not pleasurable, but certainly not painful and uncomfortable either and at least my entire day hasn't been dominated by the toilet in a negative way.
When I posted yesterday, I didn't feel in the mood at first, but soon felt so at home again that even though my own sessions haven't been at all healthy, it was great to interact with everyone's messages and I can't believe that I've got anything serious or incurable.
One thing that is strange and perhaps others have noticed the same when passing soft turds is that they all looked very flattened.
Is that usual or does it suggest there's a blockage that misshapes them on their way out? Or would haemorrhoids naturally do that?
Anyway, today I'm living rather than just enduring so my state of mind's better and that is what has most effect on the gut!
Someone was asking about books with descriptions of latrine scenes. I believe the unabridged version of "All Quiet on the Western Front" refers to the soldiers' shock at the toilet arrangements.
Perhaps the one I've got is the unabridged one as I've found the passage so here it is.
"I well remember how embarrassed we were as recruits in barracks when we had to use the general latrine. There were no doors and twenty men sat side by side as in a railway carraiage, so that they could be reviewed all at one glance, for soldiers must always be under supervision.
Since then we have learned better than to be shy about such trifling immodesties. In time things far worse than that came easy to us.
Here in the open air though, the business is entirely a pleasure. I no longer understand why we should always have shied at these things before. They are in fact just as natural as eating and drinking."
It continues quite poetically and then compares the latrine with a white-tiled convenience:-
"There it can only be hygienic;HERE it is beautiful."
I think he refers to the opennesss of the landscape visible from the latrine, and the common- room atmosphere as they sit there playing cards and chatting.
That's my lot for today! Healthy plops everyone! P P G
What a shame that you can't enjoy passing a 3" by 19" massive, ass-stretching huge turd! (Thanks for taking the bother to measure it, BTW). If you could get it to slide out under it's own power, then the feeling would be unbelievably great! Have you tried drinking hot black coffee, eating hot cereal, raisin bran, or some other roughage? Have you tried Vaseline or KY jelly, or a glycerine suppository in your butt? How about mineral oil, olive oil or Metamucil? Maybe you need to drink more water at times. Anyway, it's very nice and inspiring to hear from ladies like you who have your unusual "abilities". Keep up your great posts! May you continue to stretch your ring in an enjoyable way.
I have been enjoying everyone elses posts. I hope everyone is doing fine. I had an operation on my hand so its harder to key on the keyboard. Well on to my next post.
I now had made more friends. they lived next door to my friend Mike. Theese people came from the city. The boy who was the oldest was also named Mike. He had two younger sisters. One was 11 and the other was 8. We were all down in the basement on a rainy day playing hide and seek.
There was plenty of places to hide because the basement was finished off. I hid in the shower stall in the bathroom. It was one of those metal standup stalls. Mikes youngest sister came running in suddenlly and pulled down her shorts and underwear and sat down on the toilet. I could see her becuase the shower curtain was partly opened.
She first peed real hard and then started to push real hard and was getting red in the face. I knew she was taking a poop. Since she was sitting toward the front I could see her lower backside. She was doing a pretty big poop because I could see it. It came out real slow and crackled as it did. She started to get up and as she did she peed again so I got tosee that too. She turned around looked at what she had done pulled up her shorts and ran out. She never knew I was there untill after i was caught later on. She smiled at me and put her finger up to her mouth and went shhh!
Plunging Plop Guy......it would seem we are so alike in our toilet turn ons. I very much like having a piss before a shit and knowing that my bum is getting splashed with my own piss. As to that guy back at school, I certainly would have loved to been splashed by using a toilet he had just pissed in!!! Still, it was great to have been able to sit on that seat, feeling the warmth of his nice tight arse and thinking about the big plops he had just done as I did mine. That was certainly a great memory that sticks well in my mind to this day!!
Anyway, I hope you can get your toilet troubles sorted out, that marathon 2 hour session you just had did not sound like fun. I don't know of any advice I can give you, I don't do anything special myself to get good, firm easy turds. Sounds like you've tried everything, but I would certainly be going back to the doctor and demanding satisfaction!! Hope you find an answer soon........
All the best,
I had just pulled an all nighter at work, I was tired as hell. Well I walk out to the parking lot. All of a sudden Iím in need for a dump and long piss. The parking lot was empty. But out of consideration for others I held it. Because its annoying to step in pee then to drag it in you car. What a clean up! So I hopped into the Viper and start to drive off.
It was about 2:00am. Not a single car on the road! So I tap into the power reserves. Just planted my right foot as I was in a hurry. I was doing and easy 130mph when all of a sudden I see red and blue light in my rearview mirror. Just great, just God Damn Mother F-----g great I said to myself. A NY State trooper pulls me over. He asked for license, title and registration. I give it to him. He asks me whatís the rush mam? I told him the way it is. I said I needed a dump very badly. So he lets me off with a warning. For the first few miles I was doing 65mph. But the urge hit me, so I floor the throttl! e and before I know it Iím doing 150 mph! I seriously thought about pulling over but out of consideration for others I didnít. So for the next few miles the Speedo just rose to 170, 175,180. Then I see a car and brake suddenly. It seems like the velocity upset my whole system. I didnít lose control but the urge was stronger! Then Iím off the highway and on the local roads. Then about a few seconds later. I see a Hess gas station. I go to the attendant and ask for the keys. He gives me the keys and I open the door to a very clean bathroom. Then I see a rather large toilet and just flop down on it. I was trying to piss with all my might but nothing came out. Then I push and I push and A huge log just slid right out of me. Just like that. Then I feel another smooth one come out. Just like that. But I still couldnít pee. So after a few minutes I stand up and Measure the logs. One is 27 inches and the other one was 301/2 inches long. The longer one was 4inch in di! ameter, the other was 3.6 inches in diameter. These logs we funny though. They were smooth but rather wide, but then again I was in a rush. I wish all my dumps were like that though, as I hate straining and the massive amounts of time they consume!! So I wipe my ass and pull up my panties. I flush the toilet but one of the logs went down. I didnít believe my eyes one of my mighty logs just sucked away just like that! Then I flush and the smaller one was sucked away like wet Kleenex! But I was to frustrated to argue about that. I gave the key to the attendant filled the car with premium fuel and drive off. But I was still dying for piss. Then I still have another hour or so before I even reach my home. So I crank up the radio and the A/C. That really took my off things. 30minutes later I thought I was going to die. I hurt so much my eyes were burning just trying to hold the pee in. I thought of Pulling over but I didnít want to out of consideration of others. S! o I keep driving, then I reach my street. Pull up to my house, get out of the car open the front door and just dashed to the bathroom. O SHIT! Joe was in it and I didnít feel like going downstairs. So I ask him to open the door which he did. I stripped myself nude and asked him to get off the toilet. He flushes and gets off. I just flew to it. I sat down, but still but no piss came out still. I pushed and pushed. For like 20mins nothing came out. I just started crying and I asked Joe to come and help me. He comes in the bathroom Dressed in his suit. I then look at the clock and it was 3:00 am. Yikes! I asked him to stay and help but he couldnít. He said he had to go to work early. And had no time to stay and help me. So He left and went to work. I was alone and started crying. I wish he was here to rub my back and ????? to calm me down, but he has more important things to take care of which I understand. So I sit there in pain trying to pee but I still could! go! I pushed and pushed but no pee came out. It was now 3:50am. So I stopped crying like a baby took a deep breath and pushed. Then a little trickle came out then it was a full powered blast. I had to time this. It was now 3:58am I was still going I just kept going and going and going. It was now 4:01am and Iím still at it then I was slowing and at 4:05 the last drop fell. I felt so much better. All of a sudden I was doing somersaults all over the house nude. It felt like I had just won something! Then I slapped myself got my head back together and went to bed. And that was the end of that.
Good motions to you all,
P.S. I showed my friend Diane this site and she loves it. She will be posting something real soon.
Last Saturday morning I walked down to the local city baseball field to watch a Highschool baseball game. On the way there, I felt that stomach feeling indicating that I needed to shit real bad. I got to the field early and the players were not there yet. The restroom was locked. I was real worried that I could not hold my crap. After a few minutes a school bus pulled up and the coach and hometeam players arrived. They headed for the restroom/changeroom. When I saw the coach unlocking the door, I asked him if I could use the restroom. He said sure. There was a trough urinal near the entrance and a sink. Futher in there were two doorless stalls and a long bench along the wall opposite the open stalls for guys changing. The players began changing and I went into the first stall. It was not real clean so I went to the next stall, but a player was already sitting on the crapper. I cleaned up the seat in the first stall and sat down. The guys who could see me clearly on the crapper from the change bench were all joking and talking about their prospects for the game. A couple of guys needed to crap and waited outside the two open stalls. They joked to the other shitting player and me that we should hurry up. I pinched off my logs, but is was a real satisfying shit and I felt like sitting for a while to let my asshole relax. While I was sitting on the pot a few guys helped themselves to some toilet paper from my stall to blow their noses. Eventually, I started wiping my butt and some of the guys jokingly applauded. After I stood up, another player took my place on the crapper. They were real cool guys and they all seemed comfortable about shitting with other guys around or seeing other guys taking a dump. I thanked the coach when I came out and he said: "No problem."
i have abroken arm and must wipe my ass with my left hand, quite an adventure
To Jeff A,
Somehow I missed what you said about going into surgery today after a recent accident, and that you might not be able to post for a while. I hope the injury is not too serious and debilitating. I don't know if you will be reading this, but from Louise and myself, can we wish you a speedy recovery. Get back to full function very soon, fella.
That was an interesting description of the method your wife has used to have a wee in the sink. My girlfriend, who is just the same height, hasn't used quite that method as far as I know. She likes to
stand at the corner of the sink and do it that way. I'll suggest it to her, she might find it an enjoyable variation.
You and your brother _must_ start talking to each other. You must do it today, now, immediately. Yes, I am fully aware of how Kev disapproves of who you are seeing and what you are doing. It does not matter who starts the dialogue. All I know is that it needs to be started. Even if you both have to agree to disagree, you must resume your previous brother-sister loving relationship. Tomorrow might be too late. You cannot predict the future, anything can happen, so take the chance when you have it! Do you see what I mean? You need to do it now, and frankly I wish I could bang your heads together and make you see sense.
Okay, lecture over, but please, please, please consider what I've said.
Interesting to read about your little cousin Courtney learning to stand and wee over in Ireland. Perhaps the open stand up weeing stops as girls reach adulthood. If not, I might feel like going there as a tourist!
Haha, it sounds very much as if you have been having some good fun in the shower recently. No doubt you would be a contender if the grand distance contest ever happened. Ah, but Louise does tend to learn from her mistakes, and if the locker room shower floor sees Louise's mother and young team mate defending their joint title, I think there would be a new champ.
At the weekend, we enjoyed a very nice time at a hotel in a luxurious room. There comes a point when I decide we both need a break from the routine, and that was the case on Friday. Apologies to Louise's netball team for her absence. Well, the en-suite bathroom facilities were very good, and we did not budge from the room for the entire two days. There were numerous long baths, and fuelled with (how many?) bottles of wine, Louise enjoyed standing outside the bath and weeing into it. Sometimes she aimed with her fingers, sometimes not. In the bath, there were a couple of times when she stood in the
bath, facing away from me and opened fire while I looked from a viewpoint that was behind and beneath her. That was quite a view, I can tell you. She loved aiming my own stream on quite a few occasions too. The hotel stay, though relaxing in one way, was very tiring in another!
You will have gathered I have had a little more time at the evening to write to the forum over the last two nights. As luck would have it, Louise has had less time herself, so she is now the one who is arriving home late in the evening. Perhaps sometime we will be able to enjoy some longer periods together after work is over. I'm sure she will post before the coming weekend, but there is some pretty frenetic activity at her workplace this week. That's how it goes, I'm afraid.
Bye for now,
what would be your fantasy clebrity to see on the toilet? mine without a doubt would be commedennne jo anne worley. i bet she pushes out a huge turd!!!! your choices? male or female ?????
Hey, that lady on the toilet does it like me ! Holding her skirt right up above her ?????. At least I think that is what she is doing, the middle bit is all blurry, perhaps with good reason ! Mind you, all similarity ends there. I usually have my panties right up my legs, not down at my knees !
LINDA GS: I'm going to speak to you first for a change my dear friend ! Now you've copped it ! "Love Drew, XOXO" OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh !! Yeah, my Dad tells a good story. I don't mind you asking for more little Kendal stories so long as Cousin keeps up the tit for tat arrangement ! ( sticks tongue out ! ). But before I show too much approval, GRRRRRRRR !! Andrew ( sorry Drew ! ) was positively glowing with delight about your last post to him. Now I've read it, and I've seen his reply, I can understand why ! He's definitely got a fixation about pampies, even referring to my panties as pampies yesterday ! I'll see what he calls them in a little while when he gets back from school and calls in. He mustn't be too long so I don't poop myself. ( Why always after school ?! ) I've got a comb for his practice session as usual ! Lots of love to you, and my other fave Cousin, Miguel, and Elena, and the two bumps !! Love from Kendal xxxxx ( kiss for each of you ! )
GEMI: So you like these cute stories from my Dad, hey ? I bet you were just as cute as a little girl ! Love from Kendal xx
BEN: Patience !!! Some of us don't get to be on a computer as often as others, so we don't get to reply that quick. I see Linda spoke to you again. That story about the girl, poor thing. Fancy being made to wait and squirm in class in front of you all ! Don't know why, but it reminds me of another friend who used to visit here called Nicole. Her brother wouldn't let her use the toilet and would make her wait until she wet her panties ! Thank goodness you and your class weren't so mean ! Love from Kendal.
UNCLE RIZZO: Yes, Kendal is my real name ! I bet you're glad about that now aren't you ?! I'm so glad you chose Rizzo. Uncle Gonzo doesn't sound quite so good. And Uncle Sailor poopy poop, or what ever your other name was was even worse ! Now I've never had to poo outside before, and the thought that there would be no place to hide at over 6000ft if I ever did need to go, well, I expect Andrew would hide me and guard me ! And as for making names in the snow with wee, I have seen that done by Andrew, in print as well as joined-up writing, the clever boy. But there's no "i" in Andrew or Kendal, so the super dotty squirt skill isn't required ! We live further north in Devon than Totnes. Its a lovely village. I won't say exactly where in case someone decides to know me, but I suppose I can say that its near Tiverton. Now as for Andrew and the dressing gown, I still well up with tears thinking about it, it was such a lovely idea, and I did enjoy it so very much. I don't! think we'll be using it again because I don't think that Dad was best pleased, but I'm sure we'll have a sit on knees cuddly wee again some time ! Glad you and Aunty PV have sorted out my weekends for me ! However, I'm unavailable this weekend because Mum's having me !! Lots of love from Kendal xx PS, I don't think I really snore. Its just that Dad bought an extra bed for my room so when I have friends to stay like Kirsty, they can sleep in a bed instead of on my floor. So Andrew got to try it out first, and he thought I might snore and keep him awake !!
ELLIE: Andrew's late tonight, typical when I so need to poo ! Anyway, it gives me time to write to you as well, and take my mind off the urgency ! I thought your story about you and Craig weeing sitting on knees facing each other was very beautiful. It was the most exciting experience of my life with Andrew, but it must be even more lovely to do it with the boy you love, and to be able to kiss and cuddle while you're doing it too. I'm so glad for you both that I need my hankie ... Ok, back again ! I'm very sorry to hear that you and Kev just aren't speaking. I couldn't imagine not speaking to Andrew, that would be so terrible. But I understand how you are doing it for Lou's sake, and I think you are both being very considerate by not encouraging Lou to take sides so she can be happy with the both of you. However, I bet Lou is glad of Courtney's company, because it means she has got a sort of baby sister to dote over now, and do things with like going to the toilet to! gether. How exciting. I tell you something though, when you said Courtney's name, I was really surprised. I expected it to be something very Irish, like the names they have on Ballykissangel on the tele !! Anyway, it was lovely to hear from you and catch up with your news, and I hope Little Lou will write and tell us how she is and what she has been getting up to soon ! Lots of love from Kendal xxx
KATE: Where have you gone ? Andrew and I are missing you !! Or is it that I need to swallow some of the same medicine I dished out to Ben above ?! I remember now you saying that you were in a school play, so I expect you are busy. Hope you get to read some of the stories from Andrew and me soon, and we certainly are looking forward to your next one ! Yesssssss, at last, Andrew's home and I can finally relieve myself of this huge poo. Don't know where its all come from, I haven't been eating any extra ! Take care Kate, love from Kendalxx
PS. Andrew says he will post in a while and tell everyone about my poo !
I went to the mall yesterday and i had to stop by the mall office for something and i was about to leave and someone came up to the desk and said to the mall employee..."Someone is in the Ladies room, sitting on the last stall and she's been there for ever and she's snoring and i don't know if she is sleeping or passed out". I thought this was funny if she was sleeping but not funny if she was passed out. Has this ever happened to any one?
Before this i was at the movies and i had a large pop corn and a large soda. About an hour, hour and a half into the movie i had to pee really bad(happens every time i go to the movies). I got up during the movies and pee a long stream at least 3 times while thre and at the mall.
To X-Medic: I liked your story...Do you think this girl had to poop really bad because she was nervous??
To wil: I liked your story
Lawn Dogs Kid
ELLIE: Your wee story with Craig... awesome !! Loved it ! Tell Kev not to get jealous about Courtney. He should be looking at it as another wonderful shot at being a big brother to another baby sister. And I bet a little girl of five would love to have a big brother, especially after what she has been through. Still hope you and Kev can make up soon. Love from Andrew x
LITTLE LOU: Hi Princess. A little Girl for you to now be a big sister to. I bet that is making you feel all nice and grown up ! Now you mind and look after her well, like your sister and brother do you! And Kendal and I want to hear some more stories from you too. You must have some by now, whether it is with Craig and Ellie, or Courtney, or another special occasion with Kev ! Take care, and a big cyber hug and kiss from Andrew xx
LINDA GS: Brush held delicately betwixt thumb and forefinger, ready for the wonderful artwork to be made with not so helmety hair ! Ahhhhh, there we go, skirt flicked up at the back ( I wonder what colour pampies today ? ) Head leans forward into my chest as my brush flicks in gentle downward motions, making sure not to pull and hurt ! Head lifts off my chest, eyes stare into mine as wee cascades into the water below, quickly followed by Plop, kerlump, flop, flop, flop........ plip ! Right, so that's Kendal sorted ! Not what about you Babe ?!?! Love Drew XOXO.
Wednesday, April 04, 2001
When my period's on, I have a constant urge to go and I notice my cramps aren't as bad when I'm sitting on the toilet.
I don't know about Josepha, but don't waste your time renting "Cross My Heart" if you're looking for a pooping scene. Annette O'Toole does go into the bathroom, but it's because she want to have a cigarette and doesn't want her date to know that she smokes. Take my word for it. I'm an expert on poop movies and poop books.
Just a quick note guys...nothing much happening here...something funny as heck though...our toilet broke! hehehe. My sister's friend was the last to use it before it did! Wonder what she done! The poor toilet! lol!
Kendal: What a coincidence! lol! Betcha felt good after getting rid of that! hehe! The plops are always funny to listen to. Cute story that your Dad told :) Love, Gemi xoxox
To anyone else I've missed, I'm so sorry, hope you're all having good bathroom experiences!!!
Maybe what you're smelling is not your own bunghole, but rather the residual poop whiff from the toilet. Or maybe you should try changing your underwear.
Hellowe! A great big thank you to everyone whoís wished me well, it really means a lot to me.
Kim and Scott: Kim honey, you are a treasure! You do some awfully big poopies! You sound like a sweet girl too.
Livvie and Robert: Howdy! Iím from the Panhandle too! Land of the barbed wire and windmills! Now I live here in the Pacific NW. I miss Texas sometimes. I used to ride out into the open and would often stop for a nice, healthy shit on the flat. My horse would always keep me company while I dumped. I think itís fun that you two like to poop with each other. Thatís the same kind of fun that goes into waht me and Carmalita do together. (plus itís very exciting!)
Jeff A: Whoa!!! I hope youíre ok! Weíll be thinking about you wishing you the best. Thank you hon for being so positve about my preferences. Iím sorry, but if the baby is a boy, Iím naming him after his father, Jackson Reilly. (Reilly is Jakeís middle name). Yes, Iíd love to snitch on Patsy. She says itís okay.
This morning was a really decent one for her. I stayed over at her apartment last night, and when I brought her coffee on the toilet, (like I usually do), she was looking at the paper. We gabbed for quite awhile and sheíd make these little ďunnnhísĒ which were really cute. I could hear her plopping and the smell was pretty mild. Stinky, but not lethal. She never seems to smell very strong, only once in awhile. I could tell that she got really embarrassed when she crackled a noisy sausage though. It took quite a few seconds to squeeze out, and she had to grunt it along. She actually said ďexcuse meĒ afterward. I was the one intruding, and she excuses herself. Sheís such a lady. Iím an ex-cowgirl, someone whoís used to squatting down next to her horse and shitting in the weeds. Anyway, back to Patsy. Iím jabbering away, and she nods listening, going ďunnhhĒ once in awhile, followed by a healthy plop. When Patsy poops itís out of need. She dosenít see what turns me on about it, she thinks itís gross. She did like assisting Carmalita though, and enjoyed pooping in front of her that one time too, so I think in some ways itís starting to turn her on. After about 15 minutes, Patsy was finally finished. She pulled off a long wad of paper and I asked if I could do it for her. She was embarrassed for me to see her turds and declined, but I finally talked her into it. She scooted her black, shapely butt forward and let me wipe her out good. I saw her tasty turds floating, several fatties, soft and brown. None were over 6Ē long, but there were alot of them! The smell was a little stronger once she leaned forward, letting the odor rise to the ceiling. I guess I wiped her about 6 times.
On a very happy note for me, I think Jake and Malita are falling in love! They came over here to Patsyís last night for dinner and were holding hands. They've been making themselves pretty scarce lately. Iím keeping my fingers crossed. That big cowboy is very taken with our little Tejano turdpopper! He said he wants to talk to me. I know what he wants. He wants to pump me for information about her. Jakeís so cute and shy. If that ainít love, I donít know what is! When he asks, Iíll give him the best advice I can about Carmalita: Keep lots of lysol on hand! Her two sisters Luisa and Maria, and her brother Cruz are coming up for another visit. Theyíre staying for about 8 days this time. Iím so happy! Poor Jake! With Malita and Luisa around, heíd better keep a case of lysol on hand!
Yíall take care now.
Calvin liked your story. what's your age? I'm am a 15 year old male. Please post more stories.