Carol (Housewife and mother)
Hello Folks, from poor old Foot and Mouth striken Britain.
I drove up to see my daughter in the new flat she is sharing with her boyfriend. He was there at the start but had to go over to help another student to service his car so I was with my daughter for most of the day. Nice flat they have , a conversion in what was once a very large house. All self contained.
I cooked lunch, its a Mum thing, and then as happens needed a motion about half an hour after eating. Now I had used the toilet as soon as I arrived doing only a wee wee, that's another Mum thing I suppose, checking that your offspring keep the toilet clean etc. I need not have worried as she is a clean girl and her boyfriend being a Dental student is likewise. What did concern me was the small exit hole of the toilet pan. It wasnt one of the high water level type but the sump at the bottom looked rather small and I thought, "that wont take a big jobbie". Knowing that such a large poo was inside me wanting to come out I suggested that I drive down to the shopping mall nearby and do my motion there as I didnt want to block their toilet, but she just laughed and told me that they had already had this happen from a big one she had done herself and were going to replace this pan with a more substantial model as soon as they had the cash and the time. She also told me not to be! silly as I would get caught up in the one way system which would take me all round the houses before I got to the shops and I might have a big accident in my knickers. I also realised that she really wanted Mum to do a nice big jobbie in their toilet and I was quite happy to oblige. As we used to do at home when just the two of us I left the door ajar and she stood in the doorway as I hitched up my skirt and pulled my cream coloured Marks and Spencers full briefs down to knees. I farted, did a tinkle, then I felt the fat jobbie stretch my ring and slowly emerge. A nice firm one which slowly slid out, its distinctive smell wafting up . I went "NNN! AH! as it came out then plunged into the pan with a "SPLOONK!" Finished I wiped my bum pulled my panties up and we both had a look. Sticking up vertically like Nelsons Column was a fat knobbly mid brown cylinder of about 14 inches long. As I dropped my skirt I said, "That brute wont flush away!" My daughter pulled the flush the jobb! ie toppled over and moved a few inches then stuck. We flushed again. It didnt budge but was stuck in the bottom of the pan with about 4 inches out of the water. By this time both of us were giggling like schoolgirls. We tried thowing a bucket of water down as I pulled the flush but it wasnt going! Eventually my daughter got a rubber glove but I insisted that since it was my jobbie I should push it over the hidden bend. I rolled up the sleeve of my blouse, put on the long black glove and as she again flushed I gently pushed the big fat turd over the bend. I felt it move and sure enough when the water settled it had gone leaving brown skid marks in the pan. We put some bleach down to clear these, and washed the rubber glove and my hands carefully. After an hour or so I left for home having given her the money to buy a better toilet pan, a bit novel for a new home gift!
I had only been home about an hour and was making Keith's dinner when the phone rang. It was my daughter and she was giggling like mad. When she stopped laughing she said "Mum, you know that big jobbie you did? Its back!" It had only lodged up the hidden bend and had slid back down again. She had gone for a wee wee and there it was in the bottom of the pan! She had to use the rubber glove to lift it out of the toilet and put it in a bin liner. As they were having a bonfire that evening to get rid of some of the rubbish left by the previous resident and other junk from their moving she said she would put the bag in the middle of the bonfire where it would be safely destroyed. I was really amused by this but did urge her to buy the new toilet pan and install it as soon as possible.
As regards our own toilet and bathroom enhancements at home, we have deferred this project as with my son likely to get good grades in his exams, (the results of his "mocks" were first class), we will wait till he goes to college or university and then have a more comprehensive rebuild in the house, keeping one bedroom for guests, but making a study then a really nice retro style "Edwardian" bathroom and of course the en-suite toilet I have already mentioned.
BTW, this mornings motion was an easy smooth jobbie. About 12 inches, very fat, a light brown floater which went "Floomp" and was shaped like a letter "J" . As my son said when he saw it in the pan when he went to the toilet aftrewards, "J for Jobbie!" appropriate dont you think? Love to all.
Heather (work pooper)
Hi- i am knew to this page- but I find it intresting. I Like the stuff from Kendal. I often have a bm at work in the morning. Ive been married to my Boyfriend Steve for about 5 months and I still havn't went for a No 2 in the house while hes there. I would just get embarassed. Any other girls get embarassed to poop while their husbands are in the house?
I was watching pbs last week and saw 2 interesting things. The first was this guy who travels arounf europe and shows us all these tips on how to have a great journey in europe. anyways we was in this one country i forget which, and they had curbside urinals. which poses 3 questions, (1) are europeans really that incontinent that they cant go 2 blocks without need a wee. (2) does europe really frown on watersports so much more than america(womens bathrooms usually contain an about 80% of the toilets needed to prevent accidents), and (3) are they just for men or co-sexual or whatever the word is cuz i cant thiink of it now. and the other show was about building an authentic roman bath house. they showed some ruins where they traced the path of the water. bath- then through the latrines. The latrines were in a rectangle shape. 12 holes on each side. so 24 holes 2 sides were for entering and exiting. stone was what they were made of and you walked in the center to an ! open hole and stepped over to it and sat down. if someone was next to you you would literally touch each other you were so close. and they said that everyone shared all the noises and smells. exciting huh?? anyways they said that the robes would have made it possible for someone to make an excretion (probably spelled wrong) and no one would see your private areas because of the robes. they said that there was appearently no seperate latrine for seperate sexes. so that again leads to 3 conclusions (1)man and women went with each other(highly unlikely considering how the ancient people frowned on women so much). (2)men and women shared bathroom time. (like 1-2 is for men 2-3 is for women and so on) which would lead to probably mass accidents considering how often they must have had diarreah with all there bacteria then) and finally (3) considering again how low ancient women were in society, women would have to go in a less dignified place, or they women could only go w! hen men werent using the restrooms, or they got a severely less time for latrine use which leads to 2 more conclusions (1) ancient women had very great control (2) (knowing the creul things they did to women then) women had to wear things stuffed up their holes to prevent going unless they could.
I just can't understand how cruel some parents are. It's so unsanitary to sit in pants full of shit for any length of time no matter what the circumstances. Human exrement is so full of harmful bacteria, hence why we expell it. This is one of the reasons that shitting in fresh water is so dangerous: fish shit is not as full of bacteria and not as harmful due to their less developed digestive system. As Billy and Kevin L wrote about a month back (theirs really is the most informative critique on this issue) it's VERY harmful.
Donnie--thank you for the very informative story about the army. That's very interesting.
Renee--Congrats!!!!!! I have a friend who just came out to me, so it's an issue I've been thinking a lot about lately. I know you and Patsy and Malita and Jake will do a fabulous job raising that baby. The baby will be so lucky to have four parental figures around! It will be fun to listen to you and Elena swap some baby stories here !! (Hope you're doing well, Elena, I"m sure Cousin and Linda are taking great care of you)
We had a doctor come to our class. One of the kids asked about "scaring the crap of out someone." She said that the phrase is not really true. When you are scared, something called the automatic nervous system causes the muscles that hold in our pee and poop to contract. She said that you can literally scare the crap or pee out of someone, but usually you scare them poopless (she said that was another word she could put there, but our teacher would not like it). I asked about the last time I threw up. I had diarrhea and when I puked, the diarrhea left me even though I did not feel like i had to go. I said I think it is because the same muscles I used to push out the poo I also use to push out the vomit. So if someone hits me in the stomach, could that cause me to go? She said, yes. But usually the automatic nervous system causes you to contract those muscles that make you hold in your poop and pee when you are running and playing sports anyway, so usually you won't lose contro! l when you are hit or something before while you are playing. She said that the smart thing to do is to go before you play. She said that you would be a little faster because you are lighter anyway. We usually go poop and pee in the woods before a game. But not for this reason. We just want to play during a game and not have to worry about going.
The only times I have seen someone lose control while playing sports was my friend bob. He had leukemia. It spread to his brain and caused seisures. One time we were playing soccer, and he got hit in the chest. He started jerking around from his seisure. We got scared and got my mom. He was awake when she got there, and she called an ambulance. That is when they found the cancer. He wet himself and made a dookie too. He was awake and still out of it at the hospital. He said that he did not realize that he pooped himself when we told him about it. Since that time, he has thrown up so much from the chemo, that a little poo and pee don't really matter. He even pooped himself when he was too weak to get to the bathroom on time or when he was throwing up. What's the big deal. We all poop ourselves from time to time.
The only other time i heard about sports people going during an event is race car drivers. You're stuck in the car for about 5 hours. So they probably pee and poo themselves sometimes. Of course, unless they win, no one will know. And with their clothes no one will find out.
i have been coming here for quite a while now...i recently let out what i call a granola log...you know the kind that are real knobly and hurt like hell on the way out...i only let out one log but it felt like a coke bottle had exited my rear end lol...i was thinking that i was the only person from texas in here..i say that because i noticed a woman from texas had visited this site...anyway keep the good stories comming people...chao
I don't what to give my name right now.But here's my story.
It happend a few years ago.I had the flu and the runs.I was at school when my stomach started to feel wierd. This was during third period. I had to shit but I tried to hold it in till after school.
Because to most people going during school is embarrasing. Well we had lunch and I was able to hold till seventh period.There was only eight periods so I thought I could make it. But about halfway through seventh period it started to hurt. It hurt so bad I was shaking. So I finally asked to go to the bathroom. Good thing its only just down the hall. After I had gone I felt much better but embarresed. please don't laugh.
JacobG in Florida
Plunging Plop Guy: Hello again. I'm sorry to hear about your constipation problems. I've posted before about one of my best friend's constipation problems. He is the one that asked me several times to make video clips of him pooping. One of the times we were doing this, I could see his poop in his hole as he strained and grunted loudly to get it out, be he couldn't. He would get so frustrated and embarrassed and tell me that this happens to him all the time. He would go on to say that he often poops only once every two weeks. That sounds awful. I can't imagine that. Anyway, he also had an occasional painful acid reflux problem and had his doctor prescribed medicine for that (sorry, I don't know what kind of medicine). To his surprise, not only did the medicine take care of the acid reflux problem, but it also cured his chronic constipation problem. He says that since he started taking that medicine, he now has one nice solid dump everyday. He thinks maybe the const! ipation was causing the acid reflux. I don't know. I was at his house the other day helping him with his web site when announced he had to take a shit. He went into the bathroom next to the computer room and shut the door (damn). As soon as I heard him pull down his pants, I crept over to the door hoping to hear some nice grunts and kerplops. Unfortunately for me (but fortunately for him), I didn't hear any grunts. He came out a few minutes later saying he felt ten pounds lighter. Well, I hope you find a solution to your problem. Let us know. Happy pooping!
P.S. My friend still wants me to make a video clip of him pooping outdoors. He reminded me about this recently (although he didn't need to since I would never forget such a request). However, he wants to wait until it gets a little warmer. As soon as this happens, I'll be sure to post about it.
Jared & Lyle
I enjoy your posts a lot. My school has six doorless stalls on one side and six on the other. Most of the time I can get a stall that has no one across from me that is unless business is really good.I think most guys like it that way.The other day the place was really busy so some guy came in and sat across form me. I felt wierd and I think he did too. Another thing that happens every so often someone will wipe the toliet seat with you know what. This is really gross I think there are only a few that do this but I would sure like to see them doing this. They must come in while classes are is session and the bathroom is empty. There is nothing worse than to come into a busy bathroom and find a toliet like this. We only have a few minutes to use the bathroom and if you have to go no choice but to clean it up. Thought I would share this with you. Ever have a problem like this? CAlifornia Dude.
Alana, I'm not surprised you did such a massive poo after eating all that food! That anyone could eat so much astonishes me but then I'm an English guy with a modest appetite. A little over indulgence won't do you any harm once in a while but I would advise you not to eat such large quantities on a regular basis. The human body simply wasn't designed to hold such vast amounts of grub. Still 'we are what we eat' and what goes in one end must eventually come out the other - even if it's in an unrecognisable form.
HI! to all, it's been a hectic week, with a new client installation and 2 days of torrential rains and some flooding.
Special HI and CONGRATULATIONS! to Renee. That's wonderful, that you are expecting. I am very happy for you, and happy to see that your recent "illness" was just part of your pregnancy. Best of luck, young lady.
Friday morning, my boys and I finished a somewhat difficult installation at a client. We ran our last paralells with their tech support staff and turned over a working system. Around noon, my boys and several of the client's people decided to hit a local saloon for lunch. Since I had not been out for a run since Monday, with work and the weather interfering, I decided it would be a good time. This client has a workout area with locker and shower facilities, so I changed and told the group to go ahead, that I was going out for a run. One of the tech support people decided to join me. S (name withheld) is a young woman, near 30, of Eurasian extract, 5'4", 115 lbs, and very beautiful. We decided that we would run up to the trails nearby, and try to get a 6 mile run in. We ran about 1/2 a mile to the trails and started north, into a strong March wind. Our run was uneventful, just a good pace with the usual chatting about work and other stuff. We were runing quite hard, about 1! .5 miles from the office, when S slowed to a stop. I tought she had injured herself, and I asked her if she was OK. She surprised my by saying that she had an urgent need to empty her bowels, as she hadn't gone earlier, and now she couldn't wait. There was not much cover, with a hill to our right meeting the trail, and a little down slope to the left. She decided to walk down the slope a little, near a big tree, and asked if I would keep a lookout. I said I would, as she made her way down the hill. Of course, I could see her from where I was, and the trail in both directions. My curiosity got the best of me, so I just ran in place to keep warm, looked around to see if everything was clear, then looked at S, who was pulling her shorts down. I got a good look at her shapely, dark ass cheeks, and a view of her even darker anal opening, as she squatted. I quickly looked around, noticed no one coming, then turned to see S, as her anus opened wide and expelled a good sized light br! own turd. It had started slowly, then came out rapidly, and was somewaht softer at the end. Her hole closed, then expanded and another, shorter soft but formed turd fell out. I was enjoying the view, when I heard something, so I turned to see a hawk fly off of a tree behind me. I turned back and noticed that S was peeing up a storm. The urge to pee hit me then, but I decided to wait. S pooped 2 smaller soft turds, then reached for somthing to wipe with. I then turned my back, and soon I heard S come up the sort slope. "WHEW!, that was better", she exclaimed. I just smiled and said that I had to pee. S smiled at me and said "Don't step in it!" as I walked down the slope. I tried not to make it obvious but of course I wanted to check her output. I went to the left of the tree near wher she had pooped, lowered the front of my shorts and peed a stream. I glanced to the right, and noticed a quite impressive pile of shit. I couldn't determine its length, since it was curled and pile! d in a circular form, but it was quite enough. I finished my pee, lifted my shorts, and ran up the slope. S greeted me with a smile and said "You peeked, didn't you?" I could only blush, as S gave me a playful tap, and started laughing. I also laughed, and as we resumed our run, S told me that she wasn't shy about someone watching her poop, that she would have been disappointerd if I hadn't looked, and she would have looked if I was the one who had pooped. She told me has 2 younger brothers, who were always bothering her at bathroom time, when she was growing up. If I had had a beautiful older sister like that when I was a kid, I would have bothered her private moments also!
We chatted about how runners in general don't seem to be shy about pooping outdoors, as it happens more often than not. I told her that it had happened to me on many occasions, and she replied that this was not her first outdoor poop.
Our run concluded, and I told her that when everyone returned from lunch, we would wrap up the installation. I then went to the locker area to cool down and shower. As I did, I reflected on the event that had just happened and what a conclusion it was to a very trying week.
Hi, everyone! This is my third try at this post(!), so I'm hoping it's a charm...
Lisa: Hi back to you! It's been awhile... looking forward to more of your stories!
Kim: Thanks for the continuing kind words! I got a kick out of your poor toilet not being able to swallow any more of your massive logs... got any good alternatives? Looking forward to your next ACTION post, as always!
Carmalita: Excellent treat for Jeff, and I'm SO THRILLED to be next!!! One request: could you tell me all of the neat things you ate leading up to this special event? Thanks!
Renee: Congratulations on being pregnant! Also, neat info about Patsy! Too bad she's shy about her bathroom habits, though... (so far, right? If anybody could loosen her up, it would be you and Carmalita!)
Summer: Enjoyed your latest story! Thank you for the excellent description of your latest dump!
Alana: WOW! Excellent initial post! Hope you'll post often! I enjoyed the description of all you ate, and what it finally translated to! Don't know if I quite believe SIXTY(!) inches, but
in any case, a TWO-TOILET FILLING dump is pretty incredible!! How long would you estimate your longest single turd was? Was it toward the beginning(my guess)of the session? And how thick were your biggest turds? Please post again soon!
I had a couple of satisfying poops lately, both thick ones over a foot long that came out smoothly in one piece. Yesterday's was slightly curved, medium brown and probably about fourteen inches. Two days before that was even more impressive. It exploded out of my
butt with a huge WHOOSH! It was shaped in an upside-down "J" (I'm signing my artwork now-Ha!), about SIXTEEN inches long, and had an eerie color to it- dark brown with reddish tinges around the edges and in the water, too... at first I was worried it was blood, but the I remembered we had had beets for a vegetable with dinner two nights previously... so, no problem!
Well, it's been a while since I've posted, but I'm here as often as possible and reading everything!
Louise, I spent a long time last night downloading every one of your posts over the last five weeks or so into a quick-reference file. I read lots of others while I was finding yours, and spent the whole time farting voluminously after a major dinner earlier. They smelled fairly savory, as it happens! I peed in the sink at one point too, for quickness!
I'm so sorry the park has become less safe than it used to be, you're right about the limitations we encounter on our ability to have innocent fun... But I LOVED your visit to the urinals, I could visualize it so very clearly, right down to the sounds and the she-aroma! That was kewl!!! You're one special kind of lady, and I wish I could wash a wall with you some day!
Hi Steve! 'Course I'm still talking to you wonderful guys and gals! Always will! Don't worry, the molestations Louise referred to have not dulled my enthusiasm or affected my performance -- and how very sweet of you to think of me in that context. Thank you! (Hug!) Frankly I think you're a bit of a hero too -- you do the right things for the right reasons, and there's heroism in that -- heck, you just meant to protected me! Looking after Louise from a discrete distance while she has a girl's night out -- that's not something every man would do.
I do look forward to your telling of Jackie weeing in the bath -- it awakens memories of being very young, standing in a hot bath and letting fly!
I think you got the rough end of feminism at that meeting -- there were some women who practiced a barely-disguised resent of men, and were willing to take it out in uncivilized behaviour toward any man who came within reach of them. This is very unfair, but perhaps a symptom of the ills of society that the 'ugly' males who could engender this attitude likely got away with it, and it's a kind and decent man who is socially abused on the rebound. Grrrrrrr!
What a hoot -- there was a urinal in the ladies' and they had no idea what it was for?! Oh, Louise and I should have been there to show them. They'd probably have screamed and run!
KIM & SCOTT --
Are my logs getting bigger? Sadly not yet -- this morning, after yesterday's big dinner, I decided to hold my poo for a time, let it accumulate, hold it until I 'turtle-headed!' I did just that, and when I finally sat to empty I produced a very rapid series of logs and chunks. Dark brown, softish, ranging up to 1 1/4" thick, and varying from a few inches to what looked about 9 or 10" long. Total? Hard to guess, but I think i must have shit three feet of turd in a matter of ten seconds! That's the problem, the fun is over too quick! I'd love to crackle out a firm torpedo over a space of a minute or two, at least a foot long, hopefully more!
Congratulations, dear! Oh, what a wonder, life comes from life, and the magic never falters. I must say that I had felt for a long time that you were a lesbian, but I had more naturally assumed that malita was your significant other -- you two seem to love each other very much. But no matter -- please don't think you revelation will in any way change the esteem in which you're held. I think it is absolutely fabulous that you have a wide open, wonderful family, and your little one will grow up in the wide arms of love -- with three moms by the sounds of it! And a dad perhaps more like an uncle -- Jake is another of the rare kind of wonderful man who could do this inestimable service for you. Hugs, dear!
Hi Malita! You said:
"Man, I’d love to sit and just watch you take a big one! 2 eleven inchers, wow! You know, when you think about it, 11” is an awfully big turd. Mine are often long, but usually just fat. I don't know why my turds come out so big, it’s hard to figure. I must be eating right! I’d sit you down on the toilet, listen and sniff while you pooped, and brush your hair for you while you did it. Afterward, it would be time for some tender wiping, then we could go work out together! I love working out after a good shit."
Well, Malita, you just pretty much set me on fire (GRIN!) I would enjoy that very much, every aspect of it from the first rumble to the last wipe, for both of us. Tell you what, you're only a petite seniorita so ... how about we do the sitting-on-knees thing? Gee, that would be amazing, and what an experience...! And I could teach you to wee standing up, so we could stand together and fill the bowl, or go into the bath, or in the shower, or on walls, or on trees -- the list is endless.
I love what you did for the roses -- very agricultural, very healthy (I hope your bottom isn't too scratched to enjoy a nice sitting!)
You're another very special lady!
How's my favorite niece? I must say, I've been very impressed with what a kind, sweet, and level-headed young lady you are. You have a good heart, you know what's right, and you express yourself very well in your posts these days. An aunty couldn't wish for a better girl!
LITTLE LOU --
And I hope my *other" niece is well and happy, and that the nastiness between Kev and Ellie is over soon. He's being bratty to carry on like that to his sister, especially to upset her in public. His problem with her relationship with Craig (I do feel) should be a private disagreement between them, and, good lad or no, I'd box his ears if he upset his sister when I was around. Okay, enough opinions from me -- but it makes me sad to see a family who can be so loving split apart so completely, so quickly. I hope you'll be the glue that holds them together -- and bring them back to being the closest friends they used to be.
If I've missed anyone -- please post me a line and I'll reply, promise!
All my best to everyone, and hugs to my best buds,
Has anyone seen the movie "Sugar and Spice"? I havent seen it, but I think I read somewhere that it has either a poop scene or a fart scene involving a pregnant woman.
Cast Away has a scene where Tom Hanks takes a crap, then when he's done he looks at it and kicks leaves on it. Everyone in the theater laughs when that scene comes on.
I cant think of any movies showing a woman taking a crap, but there must be some.
I can't believe it but I had another poop accident. I was standing in the kitchen when with absolutely no warning whatsoever, my butt opened up and all this mushy poop came out. Thank God it happened at home! I went into the bathroom, pulled down my pants and underwear and sat on the toilet to see if any more would come out. Nothing did so I carefully removed my pants and underwear. The underwear contained the mess and I threw them into the small trash can I keep next to the toilet. I took a wad of toilet paper to wipe my butt and decided that it was way too messy so I hopped into the shower. I got some shit on the toilet seat which I cleaned off with a wet wipe. Later on in the evening I threw out the shitty underwear. I always use a plastic bag in the trash can so I can just toss the bag. Later on the same day I got another urge to shit and hurried to the toilet. This time I made it and let out another pile of mushy shit. I went to bed and my bowels were killing ! me with gas, gurgling, and pain. So I got up and took an Imodium pill and that worked to calm things down. The next day I took a normal shit in the toilet. I don't know what the hell is going on with my bowels, I think I will have to change my diet.
I've recently discovered this board and I'm glad there are others who share the same interests as I have. I'd like to relate an experience that I had this past summer. I've been friends with a woman named Annie for the past 15 years or so. We met at work and have both gone on to jobs at different companies, yet have remained close. We've been intimate a few times, so seeing each other naked was no big deal, though I'd never seen her in the bathroom, nor she me. I was over her house, an old rowhouse which she had just purchased, this past summer helping her fix the steps on her back porch. It was very hot and we drank beer as we worked. I hadn't taken a dump in two days, which was unusual for me as ordinarily you can set your watch to my dumps…five minutes after my first cup of coffee and I'm on the pot dropping a few logs. My dumps are almost always uneventful, except for this one.
Anyway, as we were working, I let out a long silent (and thank goodness, not smelly) fart which signalled the unbreaking of the log jam as I felt my back passage begin to fill. I told Annie that I had to use the "facilities" and left to go into the house.
There were two bathrooms in her three story house, one on the second floor and one in the basement (oddly, none on the main floor). The one in the unfinished basement had just been installed and consisted of a toilet which, although near the corner, was out in the open as the framing and drywall for the small cubicle had not yet been installed. The only other thing in the basement aside from her washer and dryer was an old refrigerator where she kept the beer. As I opened the back door to go inside, she smiled and said that she hoped everything would come out all right and to bring up some more beer when I was done. I went downstairs to the toilet, dropped my shorts (mesh supporter lining, so no underwear) to my ankles and sat down. I immediately let out a short booming fart and peed for about five seconds.
When I poop, I let out a short squirt of pee with every log I drop and then have a long satisfying piss after the last log has fallen. Anyway, I must have sat there for about ten minutes, alternatively grunting and farting, but with no result. Finally after one long grunt I began to feel my hole stretch open as a monster turd began to emerge. Suddenly, I heard Annie at the top of the stairs asking me if I was all right, which caught me by surprise, so I stopped pushing and the turd slipped back inside. I cursed and Annie asked me what was wrong. I told her that I was stopped up and just about to drop a big one when she startled me.
She then asked if I needed any help. Curious to see what kind of help she could offer, I said yes and she came downstairs to see me sitting on the can, pants around my ankles. As I said before, she'd seen me naked before so I didn't care if she saw my private parts, although I was slightly embarrassed at the situation. Noticing my swollen lower abdomen she asked me if I wanted a belly rub, to which I said yes. She came over and squatted next to me and began to gently massage my stomach in small circles. After about a minute of this I let out a loud "trumpet" fart and we both laughed (and I blushed). She continued this for another five minutes or so, but nothing was happening except for a few more farts, which, thankfully didn't smell and an erection caused by the pressure on my prostate, which I managed to keep hidden by keeping my legs together. Finally she said that when she got constipated like this every month because of her period she found that she could get things s! tarted by crouching/semi-squatting over the toilet. I told her that I didn't think that this would be a good idea for two reasons. Firstly, because I would pee as I pushed out my poop and secondly because I was embarassed to admit that I had an erection.
Her response was to get up, go over to the corner and get an armful of newspapers which she spread out on the floor in front of the toilet. She then told me to step out of my shorts and kick them aside so I wouldn't pee or poop in them and to crouch over the toilet and spread my butt cheeks with both hands. At this point I just wanted relief so I did what she said and blushed again as I stood up and got into position. She stood to my right and as I began to push she started to massage my stomach again. After about a minute of this I farted again and a squirt of pee splattered on the newspaper. Finally I began to feel the tip of the turd begin to emerge and said, "Here it comes!" With a crackle, a very solid beer can sized log began to come out and with a final push (and another squirt of pee) the thing shot out of my butt and fell in the toilet with a loud sploosh, soaking my butt, thighs and scrotum and some of the newspaper as well. As I continued to hover, two more well! formed and solid logs of about eight inches slid out of my butt and splashed into the water below. With that I began to pee in earnest and pissed for about 20 seconds, soaking the newspaper in front of me. I let out a loud sigh of relief as my aching hole closed up and reached for the toilet paper. I wiped and looked at the paper, which I was happy to see was clean. I grabbed another piece of toilet paper and wiped the water off my butt, thighs and scrotum, located my shorts and pulled them up as best I could owing to my "condition" which had not yet subsided.
Annie grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped off the seat, threw it in and flushed. There was a tense moment as the water rose and it looked like it might overflow, but luckily everything went down. Suprisingly, there was very little smell, which suited me just fine as I was embarassed enough as it was.
Then Annie surprised me again by saying that as long as she was down there, she might as well get rid of some beer. She was wearing a one-piece bathing suit with a pair of shorts over it which she quickly unbuttoned and stepped out of. In one swift motion she peeled off her bathing suit and let it fall to her ankles and sat down on the toilet and began to pee furiously. Her legs were slightly spread, enough for me to see her stream. She peed with a great deal of hissing and splashing for at least 45 seconds and stopped as abruptly as she started. I've always enjoyed the sight of a woman peeing so needless to say this didn't help my "condition" any, which she noticed and commented on. To make an even longer story short, I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Let's just say that her porch didn't get fixed that afternoon.
Since then, on every occasion we've been together, we've gone to the bathroom together although I've yet to help her as she did me. Turns out she likes to watch as mush as I do. This has led to a number of enjoyable sessions, if you catch my drift.
If you all enjoyed this true story, let me know as I'll be happy to post details of some of our other times together.
Texas lady asks for accounts of any bathroom accidents while playing sports.
I recall that in my late teens I was taking part in a friendly competition at my local tennis club when I realised I had ????? trouble.
I got the usual gripes in my stomach and new I just had to hurry to the bathroom. I made it in time and had a very loose foul smelling motion. I wiped, pulled up my clothes and went back to the court offering apologies for holding up the game.
I continued playing but about five minutes later the tell tale signes returned and I felt I needed to do it again.
I was reluctant to go off court so tried to play on. But as I ran to play a shot I felt a hot warm rush into the seat of my underwear and realised I was having an accident.
I quickly made my apologies and ran to the clubhouse.I'm sure the other players guessed what was up. As I hurried I felt the back of the leg of my tennis shorts clinging to me and new my white briefs hadn't been able to hold it in.
I was shocked to see the damamge on my white briefs and shorts when I got into the toilet. All I could do was pull on my tracksuit - navy blue thank god - and make my aplogies. I said I felt I was going down with flu.
I didn't go back for a few weeks because I could'nt face anyone who may have seen the state of my tennis shorts.
Texas Lady. Yes Ive had toilet accidents in my knicks when doing PE or sports. Once when playing (field) Hockey when I needed a big poo but couldnt leave the field of play and did it in my navy blue knickers. As it was a firm jobbie it didnt squash too much and my thick navy blue cotton briefs with elastic through the leg bands held it all inside my underpants. Another sporting accident was when I was playing tennis with my husband and two friends, mixed doubles, and going for a difficult shot did a poo in my white tennis briefs. Third incident while working out at home with weights I did a fat "egg" in my knickers to the great amusement of my husband. I had done a really huge long fat "panbuster" jobbie earlier and this smaller lump was left up my back passage and the squatting forced it out. I still laugh about it with my other half in stitches while I waddled off to the toilet with a bulge in the seat of my panties and he said "Nicky laid an egg in her knickers!". I have se! en this happen to girls in school sports and gym classes and even a PE teacher did a big poo in her navy blue knickers once while demonstrating some exercise to my class. All the exertion and stretching etc in sports can make it very difficult to hold it in whether needing a wee wee or a motion. Of course exercise is a first class way to relieve constipation and many people who are a bit bunged up find that they achieve a good motion after sport or a work out. In the sports centre where I work I have seen a few customers have "toilet accidents". The staff who answer to me have been told never to be judgemental about such matters but to give any appropiate assistance if required,(observing all protcols regarding gender etc), suggesting the person cleans up in the showers etc but in all to avoid embarassing them. One man who did work on my team was a bit sarcastic to a teenaged kid who "shit his pants" , his parents complained and I privately gave this fellow a good talking to! . No surprise that he left and is now working in a rather sleazy private gym and health club. We dont need that bullying type who put many people off of PE and Sports for life.
Like many people I am surprised that there are not more visible "accidents" to professional sportsmen and women being reported, particularly the likes of tennis players who cant just go for a wee wee or a poo during a match. I did once while watching a marathon on the TV see both a female and a male contestant (the serious competators, not fun runners) who appeared to have done a number two in their briefs and shorts respectively. Where a fun runner could simply use one of the Portaloos (Portapotties) en route anyone seriously competeing could not afford to lose their place and would probably consider doing a big job in their pants worth it if they won or had a good place at the end.
I have a day off today. Hockey cancelled owing to Foot and Mouth as our opponents play in the countryside in an infected area. I did a nice one this morning. Woke up at 7.00am, did a wee wee but felt that there was a poo on its way. Made a cup of coffee then felt the need to have a poo. I woke my husband invited him to accompany me as "I need a big jobbie" He got up and we went to the toilet together. This time I didnt do a wee wee but with a loud squeaky fart I felt my sphincter expand and a big solid turd start to come out the smell of a healthy stool wafting up between my legs as I had my pink Sloggis down to my knees so hubby could see my jobbie as it came out. The fat knobbly turd dropped into the water with a loud "KUR-SPOOL-LOOMP!" then a really long fat but smooth light brown sausage slid out after it, making no sound but curving round in the pan like a letter U. I had to apologise to hubby as the smell was strong, my having had my favourite Eggs Morney yesterday. ! When I had passed this big load my other half was very turned on so we went back to bed, guess the rest.
Don't feel bad about want to poo in a lake or stream somewhere.
I've done it onece myself and i like it. It's posted some pages
back. A few years ago I went to a seclude beach nearby, wnt swimming
and pulled my one-piece swimsuit down past my butt and was able to
let a poo out in a lake. I was the only one out there at the time.
I like your stories,so keep them coming.
My poos have been normal lately but I sometimes go a week at
time now before I have to go again. I don't know why.
My wife will soon join this forum as "CLYSTER SISTER"
Sandra: Women make loud bathroom noises because they tend to HOLD IN more RECTAL GAS and ANAL CREAM. I've heard ladies FARTING loudly just walking by the restroom. Some flush the toilet first to block out the FART sounds.
Plunging Plop Guy: Take a teaspoon of CYBER FIBER and give birth in the morning.
Althea: I was that report about the guy that lived his childhood as a girl. He had to go outside and piss. He now has a family and can even have sex!
Lawn Dogs Kid: When do we get to read more of those POOPING adventures?
Peeping Tom: At my college the men's room door is sometimes kept open. Once when classes were changing, I had to take a LEMON JUICE COLORED, FIRE HOSE PISS. As I drained the MAIN VEIN other students walked by, and some ladies even stopped in from of the restroom door and pretended to have a conversation, peeking at us guys pissing and pooping. We don't care who is watching us; we just wanna go.
Renee: pregnant women get CONSTIPATED very often. Even after you have your baby, the doctor may make you take IRON PILLS, which will create IRON LOGS.
Texas Lady: I sometimes have a lady film me while I PASS FUDGE. Some women are direly curious about the MALE ANUS. I know a young lady who will just get WET by watching a man on the toilet. Furthermore, women in my area are becoming more anxious to hear men talk about going to the bathroom.
Thanks, Plunging Plop Guy, for your response to my post last weekend. I liked the piece about the GIs in World War II. I think I may have read it before, but I can't think where, because I certainly haven't read the book it comes from. Since then we've had a great post from Donnie (thanks to you too, Donnie) about his experiences in the army of other guys getting over their inhibitions when they had to.
I think you and I have a few things in common, PPG, although I'm not quite as extrovert as you about my own plops! And I'm probably a good bit older than you too. One thing we seem to share is being heterosexual, but enjoying toilet experiences involving other men. I was interested in your description of your annoyance when your enjoyment was interrupted by the gay man coming into the public toilet. One of the great things about discovering this site is realising that some of the other men taking a bit longer than they really need to in public toilets might have the same reasons as me, and not be gay men looking for sex. The problem is working out which ones are they! I don't know why I'm interested in men shitting, not women, unlike some others who post here. Maybe it's a lingering taboo about intruding on women, or maybe it's a result of going to a boys only secondary school (I remember some great grunters in the school toilets), or maybe it's just some male bondi! ng thing.
There certainly is some bonding, even in brief toilet experiences. I remember a few years ago being in a public toilet in a shopping centre in the city where I live. It's a small place with just two stalls, one of which is a handicapped toilet, which for reasons best known to the management is nearly always locked and unavailable. So this morning I was waiting to have a shit, but not very urgently, outside the other stall, which was occupied. A young guy, student age, jeans and denim jacket, wih one of those little rucksacks on his back, came in. He asked was there a queue, and I explained the situation - just one loo. He started pacing up and down, with a very anxious look on his face - do you know that really jerky walk, if someone is desperately trying to hold it in? After a few moments I said, loud enough for the guy in the stall to hear "You can go ahead of me, you look like you need it, I'm OK, I can wait." He just said "Thanks man, I'm dying here" and kept ! on pacing around jerkily. The guy inside took the hint - there were sounds of wiping and then flushing, and he came out and the young guy went in. Unfortunately for me, just at that moment somebody who had used the urinals switched on a really noisy hand drier, which went on and on. I had been expecting to hear a real explosion and lots of plops, but I heard absolutely nothing. Very disappointing! The young guy was quite quick, and as he came out and I went in to take his place in the stall, he said "Thanks again, you saved me from disaster!" I replied " That's OK, I knew a man in a crisis when I saw one". He gave me a really cheerful, friendly grin, the complete opposite of the look on his face when I saw him first. I felt there was a real bond between us, even though we were only together for a very short while.
I'm a little disappointed that there has been no other interest yet in the subject of shitting descriptions in books. Maybe it's not personal or first-hand enough for most people reading these posts. But I'd still be glad to hear from anyone else.
kim and scott
TO RENEE- congratulations on your pregnancy. scott and i hope it all goes well. would you like a girl or boy or doesnt matter? TO SUMMER- thanks for replying back. its nice that you have a boyfriend named casey. and you dont have to have sex with him to call him your boyfriend you know! maybe you two can buddy dump together! that might be fun.I like you summer your very nice! bye now. TO LOGGER- thanks for the kind compliments. I think you and fellow poster john (VT) would be the first on line to see my logs and judge the log video at oscar time. i am sure both of you would think my mammothly huge logs are GRADE A material!!! and i bet you two would not mind being the cameraman for my huge logs either!haha!bye now. more kim and scott posts later....
Sunday, March 25, 2001
A few questions:
Has anyone had a bathroom accident while playing sports? Maybe a football tackle or when the bat or tennis racket hits the ball? I think the impact of any of the those things could cause someone to accidently push something out. Anyone have a story to share? I often watch professional sports on TV and wonder how often that happens before our very eyes and we don't even know it.
Metamucil Man - Thanks MMan, I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Roady - I am very curious about the topic, and sometimes even turned on.
Drake - Thanks, that was it.
Does anyone use Netmeeting? I have had the opportunity to watch men do all sorts of bathroom activity. It is very entertaining. Anyone ever do this?
I swear its psychological. I have to go BM everytime I walk out to my car, getting ready to go somewhere. If I rush and forget to go, I have to make a pit stop somewhere (or even if I'm not out of my street, turn around & make a quick dash back in the house to go potty).
I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in my weird toilet concerns, etc.