Hi,glad I found this place. I hear so much here about big bm's.
well my name is Alana,I am 24yo,about 6'3" and weigh about 237lbs.
Although I am a big girl I am not fat,just big boned and, well healthy. I have a huge appetite,and sometimes when my boyfriend takes
me out for dinner the amount of food I consume startles people,which brings me to a true story about me.
My boyfriend larry and I went out to this all you can eat buffet afew weeks ago and it happened to be a day I was famished. After we sat down at our table I looked at the wonderfully decorated buffet and all the lovely food.Needless to say I grabbed a plate fixed a large scrumptious salad promptly ate it and went back.I loaded my first plate with a heaping portion of roast beef,mashed potatoes,gravy,peas and carrots,macroni and cheese,and brocli.I woffed all this down and was ready to realy eat.I loaded another plate with spagetti and meat balls mmmmm... then another plateful,and another. then I had fried chicken with creamed corn,four sweet potatoes,brussel sprouts,and dressing.This was so delicious I had three more helpings.The Catfish fillets looked to good to pass up,so I loaded up a plate with fish,dressing,mashed and sweet potatoes,blackeyed peas,and another plate with more spagetti and italian sausage this time. I ate all of this and was quite full for a while.Lar! ry says I must have gone up to the buffet at least fifteen times,"where are you putting all that food." I just laughed and said "I'm going up for desert now." with that I went up and got a whole bowl of the cherry cobbler,and another one of the peach cobbler and I had three bowls of the best banna pudding I have ever tasted. Larry and I went home and on the way I asked him to stop and get me a foot long submarine sandwich which he did,bless his soul. well I ate the sandwich and went to sleep after some tv. The next morning I awoke and remembered I had not had a bm in three weeks,and after that huge meal last nightI figured all that food would push my bm down and out.Well I got up and Larry had been busy he had fixed us breakfeast,I had four eggs,four sausage links,hash brown potatoes,ham,grits,and a stack of about fourteen pancakes smothered with canadian syrup.mmmmm...then I read the paper and had a cup of coffee and off to work.
I work at a bank,I have a nice office with a view,and the ladies room is down a long corridor and around the corner.I was in my office going over some papers,having a cup of coffee when I felt my bowels come down I immediately felt severe pains in my stomach and knew I had to hurry to the ladies room.I bolted out of my chair and out of my office down the hall where I met Chrissy,she wanted to engage in small talk but I told her I had to go and would talk to her later.I get to the washroom and all four stalls are full.By this time I could feel the huge load of excrement at the opening of my butt,and I clenched my cheeks.Finally one girl flushed but took what seemed like forever to get out of the stall,when she did I ran in pulled my black skirt up pulled my panty hose down then my undies to just around my thighs above my knees,and breathed a sigh of relief as all three weeks of stored up shit came out.A long pffffffttttttt.fart,followed by a strong stream of urine came o! ut.Then,it started.a loud booming brrrrrapppp!!!! kthooonk...pfffffff...rrrrrrruuuuummmmmppp..pfffpfffpfffffff...
My orafice opened wide and it felt like a freight train was comming out of me.A huge turd unwound from my intestines and began to first pile up at the bottom of the toilet then began to coilround and round higher and higher it had to be around three inches thick and I would estimate sixty or more inches long it completely filled the commode to the rim,before it broke off. trouble,because it was only the tip of the ice berg,now I realy had to go and shit about twenty sausage link turds on top of this monster.I heard a toilet flush next to mine and knew I had to bolt for it so I could finish shitting.I held onto my skirt and panties and went to the next stall.I immediately began with a wave of long semi soft very hot ice cream style soft serve shit,then a turd about four inches thick goldenlight brown in color came out followed by about sixty one inch thick sausage type turds a real pretty brilliant golden brown color. I began to fart some more and girl in the next stall beg! an to register a complaint,"Good Lord Almighty" she exclaimed,"Myyyy goodness!" with that I applauded her with more resounding gas brrrrraaappp....brrrrrrrapppp,,,pfffffftttttttt...as more sausage shit came out scalding hot shit too. after four more whoppers and a little more soft serve I was able to wipe my butt,it took half a roll of paper,and I had to go to the next stall to deposit the paper,I went to look in the first and second stalls to admire my accomplishments,wow! the janitor has a job to do in there.
I hope you all enjoyed my little escapade,I love Carmalita,and Renee,and wish we could get together and all shit on top of each others stuff,a buddy dump I guess. well if you want to hear more let me know I have more to tell if you want to hear. Love Alana
Oh my GOODNESS, Sandra, that is so disgusting. Ew! I can't believe you DO that. I have no problem with pooping outdoors, in fact I do it often myself but pooping in the water? Ick! Speaking of pooping outdoors, though, I have a story, a food poisoning story. It happened yesterday. (I am better now.).
I was in the park, but no one else was there because it was really cloudy and dreary but it wasn't raining. I had to go to the bathroom. Normally I'd go behind a bush but since no one was there I just pulled down my jeans and panties and squatted. A little pee came dribbling out. I shifted, and then I started to pee really hard. Then diarrhea exploded out of my butt. I heaved and then I threw up. Then I felt better so I pulled up my pants and left the park. Just as I had gotten out of sight some other people appeared. As I watched, they noticed my disgusting mess. One of them screamed "EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" and barfed. Then I left.
Today I felt like peeing into a container, so I did, into a small bathroom paper cup. I had to go extremely badly. I quickly filled the cup with urine. I have NO idea why, but I suddenly wanted to poop into a paper cup, too, so I got another one. I pooped and pooped and pooped. The cup was practically overflowing when I finished. I dumped both cups out in the toilet.
SANDRA After all this time, I have to give a feedback. Most of the posts are great on this site, but yours are absolutely the best. So natural, so straight. You're the best. Your ones always give me a great thrill. The questions you follow up are literature. Please continue like this, thank you.
Hi, Luciane - there's nothing to feel embarrassed about regarding your panty mess. I'm 16, and I still make brown messes in my panties and pantyhose. It seems like I always soil my panties or pantyhose while I'm wearing a miniskirt, and I go around afraid that someone will see the mess under my miniskirt, and it feels so shameful! Oh well, just hang in there! The key is to just not let it make you feel self-conscience... I always just tell myself that nobody is aware that I've messed my panties or pantyhose. I've found that I can always just rush to the bathroom to clean up the mess from my underwear, and people never have the nerve to ask me if I messed myself.
I'm back! Thanks for being so sympathetic to me, guys. I really should have used the school bathroom though. Sometimes I think my mom's right, although I don't like her punishments. To answer some of you guys questions about my school, it's a private school. I don't think we ever had buses. Well, here's one of my other accidents. This one wasn't nearly as embarassing, since it wasn't in a school setting. It was the summer time, and we were driving home from Pheonix. We had breakfast in the morning, I had eggs, toast, and cerel. We were driving home, and my stomach started to feel bad. I thought nothing of it. We had about seven more hours to go, and we came to a rest stop. I didn't use the bathrooms, there, I didn't know why. Probably because I didn't have to go that bad. That was then. Suddenly, into the drive, I started feeling quesy. My stomach started hurting. It was those cramps that feel like someone's holding your stomach, and squeezing it and twisting it. Making things! tight. I felt horrible. I thought I was going to throw up, then I thought I was going to have the runs. The pain stopped, and I back worse than before! Like an icepick to my belly! I felt my anus open, and pooh almost come out, but I held it back. By now I was sweating, and I didn't want to ask for us to stop, cause I knew my mom and dad would say no and get mad at me. Suddenly, the pain was too unbearable and I started to squirt watery diarrhea into my underpants. It soaked through. That was just a little squirt. It was very subtle. I thought I could hold it till the next stop. Then, after a few minutes, I burst, and my underpants actually overflowed with chunky, mushy, HOT, slimy, horrible foul smelling diarrhea! It was a soft crackling sound. I felt a hot flow of it go though my legs, into my crotch, my privates, and flow up the crack of my but, and seep through my shorts. My mom turned around, and screamed. "Robbie! Di! d you shit your pants?" I sheepishly nodded, and she sighed. I wasn't 14 yet, I was about 10, so it wasn't as embarassing. Everyone opened the windows and almost gagged from the horrid stench. I was still extremely uncomfortable, and iritated. I knew the humiliation. Then my mom saw some stains on the seat, and got really angry. She gave me a bag to sit on. My little brother, then about seven, said "Robbie had an accident, robbie had an accident..." So I grabbed his hair, pulled on it, and slapped him three times in the face. He started crying, so my mom turned around and slapped me in the face. Hard. I started crying, and I was so upset I crapped my pants again. It was as if I my upper legs and waist were covered in warm poop. When we came to a rest stop, later, I got out of the car, trying to walk as stiffly as I could, with the still warm poop surrounding me. I then fell, and it stuck to me. It was absolutely horrible. I threw up on the lawn and shit my pants again. We were! only about three more hours away, so I wasn't allowed to change. When I got home, my whole family was mad at me. I felt horrible.
Hellowe everybody! I have so much to say, and my heart is exploding, so this might be a long post, okay? Great news for me! Something Malita hasn’t yet told anyone. I’M PREGNANT!!! I’m so happy! I’ve always wanted a child! My friend Jake who I love dearly, and who is the most amazing man I ever met, is the father. To make a very long story short, we talked about this about a year ago and he agreed to it. We planned it, worked it out, and finally it happened. We’re very old friends and he’s moved up here to Oregon, real close to us. I just can’t get over it!!!! If it’s a girl I’ve already decided to name her Malita.
I suppose I should clear up something that I’ve never mentioned before. I’m lesbian, and have a strong relationship with another woman-NOT Carmalita. My girlfriend has told me it’s okay to mention her by name here. Her name is Patrice (Patsy). She’s a bit on the heavy side, African-American and very, very loving. She’s also shy about her bathroom habits and prefers her privacy. She has a real delicious, creamy smell to her poop. It smells like cooked cabbage, or broccoli. Carmalita dosen’t mind pooping, or dressing and undressing in front of her, and Patsy has admitted that she likes it, so I don’t mind. Malita is so generous like that. I hope y’all don’t mind me admitting this, but I love Patsy, and we’ve been together for nine years now. I have an old double bed, and Malita has a King, and after she heard the news about my pregnancy, she insisted on switching rooms with me so (we) could have the big bed!!! Isn’t that the sweetest thing you ever heard? My buddy Jake is ! really taken with our hot little Latina. I won’t say anything for now, but she’s been smiling at him a lot more than usual herself. Ever since he caught her on the toilet, she’s all he can talk about. Jake is my best, and most treasured male friend. He did me a very good turn by giving me a child and it was very nice. I wanted my baby to be fathered naturally and he was very respectful about me and my feelings and we just sort of got it done. Without going into detail, he was mechanical, yet loving, and never touched me in a way that I didn’t want to be touched. Patsy agreed to it, and was very nice about it all considering. It took many, many trys, but finally it happened. I told him that if I became pregnant, I would buy him the best dinner I could. Well, I am pregnant, so he wants Steak and Lobster, and a whole bottle of Wild Turkey to wash it all down with. Jake will always be my best male friend. He’s also a big, tall, cowboy type, and used to rodeo some. He’ll be a ca! tch for some lucky girl, that’s for sure! Carmalita has been very good about respecting my privacy and not saying too much about my personal life in here. But Jake is the new guy I’ve been seeing, and we’ve been taking care of baby business, nothing else. RJOGGER: Thanks for your concern, but my pregnancy has been giving me morning sickness, and evening sickness too.
Jeff A: I happen to know that Malita thinks very highly of you. She talked about her latest story idea before she sent it. She tries to picture you, and what you’re like. I just wanted you to know that she really, really admires you. I think she really wants to meet you! Look out, Carmalita has a way of getting things done! She says she’s going to post an ad in a local free paper. By the way, she just took one of the raunchest shits ever tonight! We’re having wonderful Spring weather, and we can open windows (thank God!!!!) Oh, and this is hilarious!!! Malita took a shit on my rose bush as fertilizer!! When I found out, I laughed my ass off! She squatted down on our patio at night, and dumped a big turd on my dying bush. It’s doing much better now, but poor Carmalita has scratches on her lovely ass because of the thorns. She cut herself pooping! When she tried to stand and pull her shorts up, she got a tail full of rose thorns. Poor sweetie.
Buzzy: Carmalita also really likes you. She talks about you a lot. She said, “I’d just love to cuddle up with him!” If I were a guy, I’d take that as a strong compliment!
Oh well, I guess I’m rambling, but I just can’t help myself! I’ve been crying because I’m so happy! I LOVE YOU JAKE! YOU’RE MY BUDDY! Thank you for being a good dad and blessing my life!
Again, I hope nobody is upset with what I’ve said in here tonight. I hope Jake and Malita go for each other! She likes him I can tell.
Oh! P.S. When Carmalita took her dump tonight, when she wiped, she pulled half of a soft turd out of her ass on the toilet paper and went “Ooooooooh, Yuckkk! I guess I had more poop in me.” She plopped it, and the muddy paper into the water, farted, and wiped again. I love you Carmalita!!!!!!!!!!!!
A friend to Sandra
I can totally relate to Sandra's story. I was on a canoe trip once, in a river, and had to go BM. The river was pretty deep in this one spot, probably 10 to 15 feet. I did a BM there and let it sink or float away. I couldn't help it, but figured I wasn't the only one and sure many fish probaby did the same.
Comfort Station Man
To answer your question, about using a Japanese-style toilet, yes, I have. It is a pan set in the floor that you squat over. It's supposed to be heathier in that 1) no part of your anatomy touches the fixture, so it is more sanitary in that aspect, and 2) the squatting posture gives the bowel more leverage and gravity to empty itself---something about the muscle contractions.
The disadvatages include---1) stronger shit smell when it comes out, since it sits in very little water, if at all (before flushing it, provided it's one of those with running water)...2) sometimes people are really messy and miss the bowl, which looks disgusting, and 3) be careful not to drop the contents of your pockets into the toilet.
BTW, these types of toilets are found in just about every Asian country, and also in places like Turkey, Italy, and France, though of a somewhat different design.
Ive posted once before and read a lot of stories here but never saw anyhinglike this: About the guys in the US Army and bathroom problems and holding BM's.
I have to say first that I was over 21 when I was drafted into the army for 2 years and was sent to boot camp. Proir to this I had worked several jobs inlcuding two steel mills, construction and a store. On many occasions I had to use the toilets at those places for crap. After doing so number of times, I had it down pretty good and could just prerch on a seat, fix my pants to be somewhat modest and do the job. So as I entered into the service, I had to quams about using toilets at places away from home.
But thats not the case with a large number of other boys that entered into the Army (or other services I know). Some had never been too far away from home, and with regards to pooping or peeing they had a major problem preforming away from home. You know, like if its not "clean like at home" or others use it, or its in a weird like place,not at home, they would wait till they got home to do the deed.
Ok, so here, about 90 boys from age 17 to about 23 all get on a train and head for boot camp. First day there the guys have no trouble peeing, although some had a "shy bladder" and didnt get started real soon. You had this long 25ft. long metal trough all the boys just lined up and peed in side by side. You more or less paid attention only to your tool, and didnt glance sideways and didnt make the other guy uncomfortable. So the first day, just peeing and all that was no problem.
But now comes the second day, everyone gets up at 3 AM in the moring with a sargent screaming to get dressed and get out! Hmm,, well 3 AM aint exactly the time my stomach is ready to make a BM. They get you up and march around the area, jog some and then hit the Mess hall for breakfast. The food IS good and plentyful contrary to what all the jokes are about. This is 6 AM now, and almost every one has had breakfast and are clearing out the mess hall. Aint long after, my stomach is rumbling and Im leaving a few farts. So I head for the "Latrine" as its called. There was the most amazing thing Ive ever seen.
Although I had visited the pee trough several times, this was the first to make a poop. In a row are like 50 toilets lined up in a row side by side with no divider or anything. (typical example was in the movie "No time for Sargents") So you just pick a pot, drop your drawers and sit down. Odd thing was, with over 100 + guys I was one of three at the time in there to make a jobbie. There were 47 other toilets not being used! I go and drop my pants like I always did, down to my thighs, pulled them up a little and pushed out some nice BM and when done, got some TPthere off the roll and wiped and washed and left. Still there was only like 3 boys in there trying to drop a load.
I went back to the barracks and put on the pants and jacket and things I needed for the day as they required. I noticed all the guys there doing the same, apparently not interested in hitting the John? So After a bit everyone gets into formation and we strike out for the morning training and in this case for some shots and other examinations. I did overhear a few guys mumble they had to reall poop but passed on it this morning but it was building up. I think I knew what the problem was. Most all the guys were too shy to take a dump when other guys were there especially side by side.
As the first few days came to an end, most of the recruits would go into the latrine in the late evening and do their poooping. Not without a lot of difficutly however due to holding it in for a day or two. As I said, I was lucky as I had shed that shyness long ago having been out in the world working and using the toilets as needed.The thing was, a lot of these boys were about a year or so out of high school and had never had to use a public toilet or crap in from of anyone else.
After a few weeks, you could go into the latrine in the morning after breakfast and find all the toilts occupied with a few guys waiting for an open one. But the first few days it was like hold ciy and virtually no one would go and try for a crap in a place that had no stalls or privacy. It was so funny that we often commented that you might take a dumm but when wiping you best be carerful least you might be wiping the butt of the guy next to you. (was a running joke) One other thing that I noticed, that after all the troop had done their morning duty, the latrine smelled, and everyone had the same post poop smell. We all ate the same thing, so we all pooped the same. That was it howevever, you did your poop in the morning and maybe a short break at noon depending where you was or you hold it. As for peeing, well you did get breaks to take a pee fairly often. But as for going to the latrine to pee during a class you didn't and you held it. I saw a lot of guys squ! riming a bit at times, and a faint small wet spot in the crotch sometimes when we had a long afternoon and lots of coffee.
Afterthat,basic training that did include pooping outdoors when camping out in a tent, digging a latrine again in dirt making a trentch and stooping to use it you got used to it. It didnt bother anyone too much after that cept you liked to get washed up clean but couldnt a lot of the time. When basic was over you were shipped out to a regular army unit with barracks and toilets with stalls and showers and all the nice things like at home. I thought Id just drop this story and spell out some things that are probably not known. Any comments and questions are welcome. Hope ya all found this interesting............Donnie
Lyle: The toilet stalls at my school have doors. If they didn't, I would probably be a lot more shy about shitting at school, especially if dudes pissing at the urinals could see me. I don't know if I'd still be able to do it, because I've never been faced with that situation. But like you, I would feel less inhibited if there are other guys dumping in the stalls also. Still, I don't have a friend who I'd feel comfortable dumping in front of. It's cool that you're comfortable letting your best buddy watch you shit. Do you ever buddy dump with him?
Bryian: I'm glad that there are guys my age like you who feel the same way as me about shitting in public. Sometimes I stay in the stall longer after I'm done shitting, but that time when the guy was in the stall next to me I just decided to leave. I've noticed that it's not always easy to hear people in other stalls shitting (farting, turds plopping into the water, etc.) anyway. When I shit I usually don't make a lot of noise myself, unless I have diarrhea which is very rare.
I'm happy to see that there are other teenage guys on this forum who have similar experiences, cause I didn't think there were that many. You all sound cool... Please post more stories. Later.
Someone mentioned the movie "Dirty Work" having a male pooping scene.
Is this movie out on video or in theaters?
I'm finally back!!! School has been really busy this week, I barely had time to poop much less write about it! It was great to receive such nice comments from everyone! I've really missed talking back (writing back?!?) to everyone. I spent some time earlier today reading some of the recent posts. Everyone seems to be doing well! I send hellos to everyone, especially Kim & Scott, Buzzy, Carmalita, John (VT), Kendal, Jane, Gruntley, Ring Stretcher and to everyone else!!
To KIM & SCOTT: I plan to try the "legs up position" this weekend, I can't wait to see what happens!! To shed light on my love life, I am dating someone now. His name is Casey. We have been seeing each other on an "unofficial" basis since January, but I feel (and hope!!!) that we will be "official" soon. I'm not sure what I mean by "unofficial" but it probably has to do with the fact that we haven't had sex. Yet. He is the athletic type (on the practice football team) and I don't think that it would take too much coaxing for either him to watch me poop or vice versa. We shall see!!!!! When we were together earlier this semester watching some movies one night, he did excuse himself to shit after he farted. I plan on paying him back soon!!!!
To BUZZY: It's cool that we agree with each other about the spreading of legs. I can't poop well any other way!
To RING STRETCHER: I haven't had a softball size turd in a long time. I remember though that I have a feeling that I am glad I am sitting on the toilet and have nothing else to do because it takes a LONG time to get out. It hurts alot and I feel like I will never get it out. I am probably overdue for a big poop like that, it willl come soon enough!!!
To CARMALITA: Hello again! It would appear that you have had more good poops since I last posted. Take care!
I did have a pretty good dump yesterday. It was after lunch and I was actually in my room for a change. One of the girls in the other room had REALLY stunk things up earlier in the day, so I felt it was my duty to return the favor! I took about 30 minutes since I was for once in no rush. I ended up pushing out 5 big turds, and quite a few little pieces. I also had ALOT of gas. I probably farted 20+ times, I knew if anyone was in the other room they heard me. My poop was mostly solid except for the little pieces that occassionaly dropped. My big turds averaged 4-6 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. I really left a stink. It still smelt bad about 2 hours later! I hope to share more soon. Since my love life is now in the open, I have to run now to get ready for a date tonight! Everyone take care, see you soon.
Once I was at the grocery store when I felt the urge to pee. I had needed to go before I left, but had decided to wait. By the time I got to the store, I knew I needed to go, and soon! Well, I rushed to the bathroom and finally got there. Thankfully both stalls were open. There was another problem though, the lock was really weird, and I couldn't figure it out, I was a little shy at the time so I fiddled with it for a few seconds, this was a very bad idea, as I was messing with the lock I realized I wasn't going to make it too the toilet, even though I was about a foot away, I reached for my shorts band but my bladder released some urine, a lot actually, I finally got my short down, but a lot of pee got on the floor, I finished up on the toilet and cleaned myself up. I don't think anyone noticed.
Also, a friend of mine down in Florida was in a restroom once and she was standing in a line. There was a drunk woman behind her who apparently had to pee very badly, my friend told her she could go in front of her, so the woman paid her. Has anyone else ever done anything so they could further ahead in a long line?
I was surfing the net once and found a site about this guy who loved the thought of his girlfriend needing a pee. It turned him on so he asked her to indulge him and hold it. They even went out one night to a bar and he asked her too hold her pee in. She got so desperate he had to take her out the car so she could partially relieve herself. Only a little though, the rest she had to hold onto until later. She aslo had to go very badly once and they were in the car, so he began driving home, but then stopped at a park and said he wouldn't go home until she had peed there. Furthermore, she couldn't take off her pantyhose, or panties. She was so desperate she did it. Soaked herself, but whatelse could she do? Does anyone else enjoy doing things like this with their signifigant other?
Any replies welcome. I will hopefully be writing more soon, and replying to everyone elses posts. I too have been to the daily dump, and I must say I enjoy this place much more. You all seem like nice people. I am glad I found this site.
DANIEL i hope nobody thinks your A "peeping Tom" or something and get you in truble.(I can't spell) but it is there problam more that yours. I for one think All bathrooms should be open.
At work the other day I went to the bathroom and a boy was sitting on the toilet with the doors open(he was about 11) I think he was just in a hurry and forgot to close the door.But I have seen things like this before.
Lawn Dogs Kid
LINDA: I seem to remember Cousin telling Kendal that your birthday was in March. I also seem to think that you will have hit the magic double figure mark. Well, Oldie (!!), just wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday if its already happened ( seeing as it is nearly the end of March ! ), or, happy birthday if its today, or, advance good wishes if its very soon ! Take care babe XOXO.
PS You can call me Andy if you want (Grrrrrrr!) or Drew if you really want ( DOUBLE GRRRRRRRRRRRR !! ) When I go to the loo in a minute, I shall take a comb and think about you, especially as I shall be missing Kendal this weekend. Seeing as it is Mothering Sunday tomorrow, she's gone to visit her Mum in the Lakes.
LITTLE LOU: I shall think about you too, seeing as you are my very special Kendal substitute ! Hope things are getting better in your household. Love and hugs my little princess, from Andrew xx
Honestly Dad !!! I think you're trying to start a competition between you and Cousin as to who can tell the most embarrassing story !! I do still love you though ! Don't worry, I'm not making myself late for school. I just got far too curious to discover what you had written to wait until tonight ! Love from Kendal xxx
PS On reflection, I suppose it was quite a cute story really. At least you didn't tell everyone that I've still got Dolly, unlike me about your dressing gown !
LITTLE LOU: I can't say too much now, but I really loved your story about you and Ellie and Craig and his cousins. You've given me some new ideas to try out with Andrew as well, such as a pick-up wee like you had with Craig, and a sit on knees opposite one another wee like you had with Kev. That sounded particularly lovely because it means you can really cuddle at the same time !! I'm so sorry that the feud between Kev and Ellie continues. I know that Kev is being really horrible to Ellie, and that you naturally want to protect your big sister. But I think its really important not to take sides. Try and be friends with both of them still. You might just be the contact point between them that helps them to resolve their differences. Don't forget that Kev must be hurting too, otherwise there is no other explanation for his behaviour. And I'm sure that the love of his baby sister will be important to him. But if Kev starts to be horrible to you too because you are still nic! e to Ellie and Craig, then I think he will be very stupid, and not at all the nice boy that I thought he was ! Please tell Ellie that I'm lending her my hankie to dry her tears, and sending her a big hug too. Its not nice to be called horrible names. Lots of love from Kendal xxx. PS The bulge in a boys trousers doesn't always mean he fancies you. Sometimes they just bulge for no apparant reason ! Thats boys for you !!
Dad, don't worry, I shall still make it to school on time ..... just !
Mike: I feel so sorry for your sister suffering from incontinence, but there is surgery that can fix this problem. Did you know that? It's not a major surgery, either. Why should she have to suffer the rest of her life like that? Please please have her go to a doctor and ask about the operation. Good luck.
Um nothing really there kendal..just um.. well..I'm weakhearted..though I may not appear to be so in my posts. I'm surprised Elena hasn't left those parts in her posts as Elena loves to tease me as I lose all color and break into a sweat at the sight of her in her underwear.. and we're MARRIED!! Anyway just you did TOO good a job telling your story... and well..I felt faint. Sorry..I'm a weak man i know.
Hoooboy. So..would you like to swap Kendal stories for Linda stories? I got tons.[laughs]I just gave you guys the lesser one so Linda wouldn't go into hiding and so you guess wouldn't be as faint as I was like when I read kendal's post. yes Linda knew.. but she gave me permission as she too didn't want kendal to feel embarassed. She's a noble girl.. guess it rubbed of on her. Anyway here's one:
Linda was about 5 at the time and we were on a long car trip and poor Linda had to go pee very badly. I offered to pull over at a gas staion and well she said no she wanted to go home.(Also her favorite show was almost on..sigh kids..even in dire need they still give into their own schedules)So we got home and Linda became a bolt of lightning as she ran to the bathroom.. then she came running out saying she need help as she ran in place.[I myself had barely entered the house) I went in and undid her stuborn jeans (I can't blame her even I had trouble undoing them) and in a flash she sat barebottomed on the toilet. My mom came to see how we were I stood at the door way of the bathroom to keep watch. Linda GUSHED loudly as I told my mom everything that had happened on the trip.. for almost 2 minutes I spoke to her and the whole time GUUUUUUUSH was in the background. then my mom spoke and said she's been peeing a while is she alright. I turned and saw my poor little Linda slu! mped on the toilet making fists with her toes(a SURE sign of relief)and I said you okay? She opened her eyes and with a pouted face she said I TOLD YOU I HAD TO GO BAD!!! She sure showed me. Teach her NOT to be asking for a drink at every stand we came to at the fair. Believe it or not Linda remembers this one quite vividly(Can you blame her) and I know she has tried many times to beat her record. Heh
Um no.. reading your post(Linda's a school) what she meant by a touch up means that she just wanted Andrew to fix her hair. It was fixed but she just wanted him to fix any tiny flaws that may have popped up. Okay.. yes she's a bit naughty minded but I doubt that's what she meant.(Yes I know what it means.. I dated a girl from London thank you..girls are so weird)
Lawn Dog's Kid
I know for a fact my dear wife Elena could use a good brushboy. LOL. See kendal..she that color he just turned.. that's how I got.
I was watching NBC Dateline. There was a story of twin boys. One was made a girl after he was castrated in a circumcision. He was made to believe he was a girl. Anyway, at school he/she was caught urinating standing up in the girls toilet and was ostracized and had to relieve herself in an alley. How cruel. This was in Canada.
Sandra and Lance: Women for my experience make noise. I find the more wealthy they are, the more noisy they are. When I was in high school, I would visit my mother's office. So, I would go urinate in the ladies room. I would hear the women straining loudly. Many of them were constipated. My mom used to tell me who made the most noise.
My female cousins explode and make tons of gas when they sit on the toilet. When I was in 4th grade, I was getting over a stomach virus. I had 3 days of diarrhea after a sudden vomiting incident. When I came home from the doctor, I had to make diarrhea. I hated the explosive sound. My stomach was cramping me. I had two movements in the doc's office, plus five more before I left the house. I rushed out of my bedroom into the bathroom, lifting my dress, pulled down my white Carter's briefs. I counted seven explosions as soon as I sat. The pieces were firm, small, round and black. I had drunk Donnagel, a nasty green chalky medicine. It was binding me. When I wiped and looked in the toilet, my stools were black. I got out of there fast it scared me.
In college, I would intially explode when I evacuated. I was a cheerleader. A girl asked who was that in one of the stalls. The coach said, "That's Althea; she always explodes on the toilet."
Daniel: I thought your story about shitting with the stall door open in your university library restroom was real good. I've always enjoyed taking a dump in public and in full view of other young dudes. I would hesitate, however, to deliberately leave the door open so I can easily be seen by guys taking a piss at the urinal. This is not because I would be embarrassed. As you can see from the reaction of the guys who see you shitting, they probably think it is a bit weird for a guy to dump in full view when the stall has a door. If the stalls are doorless, however, it is a whole different story. Guys understand that a guy who has to shit in full view of them in a doorless stall has no alternative and and they can even be real friendly and sympathetic. I've noticed this in the Students Union Restroom at out College. It has four stalls. The first and third stalls lack doors while the second and fourth have doors. I guess the University authorities did this to prevent il! licit activities between guys in adjacent stalls. If you go there when it is quiet (with everyone at lectures), there will usually be guys crapping in the two stalls with doors, but they won't use the doorless stalls. On the other hand, if you go there at a busy time, such as during breaks, all four stalls are usually occupied with two of the shitters in full view of the guys pissing at the urinals opposite the stalls. I take a shit in the first doorless stall everyday at lunch break. Guys taking a piss assume that I have done this because the stalls with doors are occupied, which they usually are, and don't seem to show any reaction. On the other hand, if all the stalls had doors and I left my door open, they may think it peculiar. I don't want to imply that what you are doing is wrong. Indeed, I think it is an amusing and enjoyable way to take a shit. I am just trying to explain what I perceive as the guys' reaction to your taking a public dump, when you could easily! have privacy. Happy dumping!
Once again it seems an eternity since I last posted, and it looks as if regulars on the forum have been quite active. I've probably missed a few things.
I will try to post a little more often. Tell me how to fit another five hours into each day and we'll have that problem solved. Sorry, I don't mean to sound sarcastic, it is just the way things are at the moment. I hope everything is okay with Scott and yourself. You seem to pass such thick turds. Louise is perhaps slightly over-modest about her own productivity. Only a few days ago I was certain that a turd she pushed out (with some effort, and taking her time) was approximately 3 inches thick in the middle, and smooth this time, not lumpy. Also, it needed to be split in half before it would flush. An attempt to flush it away was made before any toilet paper was put into the bowl. Even without the paper, the water level rose alarmingly before it finally began to fall again. Thank goodness for that, I really did not want to have to deal with a flooded bathroom.
To Jeff A,
Hello there. I don't know if you saw my reply to your last posting, but I will keep you informed if and when I take that grading exam this year. I'm coming under pressure from one or two others to do so, but we'll see what happens. I suppose it would be interesting to see how my guts reacted to such a prospect. Cheers!
Hello there, sweetheart, I hope you are still talking to us. I did ask Louise not to discuss the recent problems there have been locally with attacks on women at night, but she has done anyway (sigh). Personally, I find it very disturbing, and I hope it does not give you any setback with your self help in recovering from AP.
Louise seems to take some delight in putting me forward as some sort of knight in shining armour. I'm no hero (they soon take up residence in graveyards), but perhaps I do feel a need to watch her back at the moment.
I had intended to write about what happened when I again walked in on Louise's closest friend making use of our bath at home, but perhaps today I should breiefly relate a story of what happened at a meeting I attended today.
At the meeting, I was the only male around a table together with seven women. Now this group of women are, shall we say, not quite my type. Unsmiling and ungracious, taking assertiveness onto or over the borderline with aggression in an attempt to make their mark. In their twenties and early thirties, I would say, and totally rapacious. Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but I expect some manners from ladies. Okay, rant over.
Well, I had been mainly silent for around half an hour, but there came I point in the meeting when I was about to speak for a few minutes. I had barely begun to address the group when two of the ladies abruptly rose from their chairs and left the room. I would normally think nothing of it or at least give the benefit of the doubt, but in this case I believe it was a calculated insult. It was of course, a toilet break, but I'm sure it could have been handled better than that. A proper request for a break would have done the trick, but ... no. After a patient wait for those of us who remained, the two absentees both returned, and immediately began discussing the newly refurbished ladies' toilets. Apparently while the work was ongoing, the women shared the local men's facilities in a half hourly arrangement. Hmm, it would have been interesting to have been around at those times. Anyway, it seemed that an extra cubicle had been installed, and what one of them described as 'a p! eculiar angled sink with no taps' had been removed. All the women present agreed that they didn't understand its purpose, and I found the discussion fascinating. I began to wonder if there had actually been a urinal in that ladies' room, and this bunch were blissfully ignorant of what it was for. Of course I never saw this object for myself, but from the description given ...
If I'm right, I think you'll agree with me that removing the urinal in the ladies is a retrograde step. I know how Louise has been discussing this with you in the past. She'll go through the roof when she reads this.
I hope to talk to you again soon, PV.
Bye for now,
Lawn Dogs Kid
KENDAL: Where's Dolly today ?!!
LINDA: Kendal is dead right. I'm now redder than...erm... a very red thing ! But I know exactly what you meant. It will only be rude English minds that interpret what you said the wrong way ! Thanks for the instructions. Now when do I get to practice them ?! I felt really alarmed for you as you told your story about Elena, and how scared you were. Never mind, it all worked out ok in the end, and next time a scare upsets your ????, I'll be along with the hair brush to help you relax and calm down ! Nice coloured pampies by the way ( you and Elena ) !! Take care babe, XOXO
LITTLE LOU: Now you will be giving Kendal ideas ! Your story of the sit on knees wee with Kev was wonderful. And as for Craig picking you up for a wee so you didn't splash yourself .... well, if Kendal now has the idea that she would like me to do that for her too, I'd better start beefing up on the weights !!! I'm pleased you're happily joining in with Ellie and Craig and his cousins. And I think its lovely that you are standing up for Ellie while Kev continues to be nasty to her. But don't go cutting Kev out. The argument is between him and Ellie. I suppose what I'm saying is don't take sides. Just be nice to Ellie and Kev. Be honest, of course. Tell him you don't like what he is doing to Ellie. But make sure he knows you still love him too, even if he does appear to be a little silly at the moment. However, I can't help feeling that there must be some good reason why Kev is behaving like he is. So like I say, Princess, try and stay neutral. Maybe things will work out ! when your Mum and Dad get home ! Take care, and thanks so much for telling me and Kendal about your sit on knees wee with Kev. I know Kendal will want to do it the same way as you did now, for something to try thats different !! Lots of love and hugs from Andrew x
RIZZO: That was great advice you gave to Kendal. Thanks for looking out for her, but she is a sensible girl, as I'm sure you've realised by now ! Even so, she'll love it that you cared enough to advise her anyway. Good on yer mate !
kim and scott,
Fantastic last story, Kim, about pushing out the huge log on the newspaper, while BEING FILMED! I LOVE the idea of you dumping in places OTHER THAN the toilet, and being filmed doing it! That description was-- VERY descriptive!
I don't know if your movies are Oscar material, but I'd sure like to be one of the judges! I'm SURE there's a BIG (pardon the pun) market for them; and I'd be the FIRST in line! Kim,you're my kind of woman! Scott, you lucky guy.
You also sound like you have award-winning dumps! Have you ever done a 20 incher that thick? Congratulations! I await more stories.
I'd love to hear MORE DETAILED descriptions from the OTHER toilet- clogging "Log Queens"!
Dear Kendal, I am honoured by your asking me to be your cyber uncle! Thank you, I accept! Yes, it is a pity we have no daughters, but we have a niece who is 16, tall, fair haired, loves horses, has pets (2 rabbits, 3 guinea pigs, 2 budgies) and is interested in astronomy. She also used to let out a running comment about what was happening when she used the toilet when she was little. I hope she doesn’t read this, or I’m done for! A pity that she lives 3 hours flight time away from us. My family is spread out all over Europe, and that includes the UK, and the USA. Here, I’ll give you a cyber hug, Rizzo. (Hope you didn’t get cyber scratched, my last shave was a couple of hours ago!)
To Hiker, yes France is one of the most interesting places to visit when it comes to public toilets! On rest areas of motorways in the South West the “restrooms “ under a common roof have cubicles open at the top, but covered with wire netting to prevent voyeurs from peeking over the partitions to the ladies side plus a radio program turned up loud enough to drown out all plops and tinkles. The toilets are mostly of the “turkish” squatting type. I like these because you are never confronted with a wet or soiled seat. Then there is usually a board with the date and time of the last cleanup posted; the places are very clean!
About two years ago my wife and I were travelling by car through the South of France. Instead of staying at hotels for the night we used campsites as we had our small igloo type tent with us. I remember the bathroom facilities of one place near a beach. It consisted of a building with a raised roof so that between the roof and the walls a good space remained for ventilation. Inside, in theory at least, one end was for the ladies, the other for the men and an area with sinks for washing dishes in the middle. Nobody seemed to care which side they used, as the signs for ladies and gents were almost invisible. Inside, washbasins with mirrors were spaced along one wall with open topped cubicles containing the toilets and showers opposite. As we intended to leave early, I went in there for a pee/shave/shower just after sunrise.
The toilet was of the squatting type with two raised ribbed foot rests and a round drainhole at the back, positioned in such a way that turds would drop exactly into it. I closed the toilet door behind me, pulled my shorts to one side, dug out old faithful, aimed for the drain, and let fly a nice stream of pee that arched over the expanse of porcelain. Smack on target! A resounding spluttering gurgle echoed around the building. I did’nt mind because there was nobody besides myself in there. Having finished, I left the stall and went to the washbasin just opposite for my shave. At this moment a pretty brunette with short curly hair and greenish eyes in her early thirties came in wearing a white T-shirt and blue boxer shorts with a white hem, smiled, and asked me if I could guard her her towel and beauty case which she placed on the washbasin next to mine. Of course, I said. I’ll be right back, she answered, and went into the stall I had just peed in. I imagined my ears beco! ming long and pointed and twisting backwards like those of a horse just to listen! Waiting for the shuffle of her feet when she was to turn into position, the swish of those boxer shorts being pulled down over her lovely tanned thighs, maybe a snapping of her knees being doubled, maybe a sigh and then the tinkle...it was not to be. It was quite different! Tcha-clack she closed the door behind her. Then the slightest of rustling of clothes became audible for a second, and immediately after I almost dropped my electric shaver into the washbasin from surprised shock and delight by the sound of a strong stream hitting the drainhole in its middle really hard! The only way she could have done this was by peeing standing with her back to the door just like I had! Until then I had heard of women peeing standing in past centuries. Anyway, men and womens’ clothes were designed to make it possible to relieve oneself standing without having to remove one’s clothing before toilets were i! nstalled in houses and in public places. At the time I knew nothing about this site, nor about the one maintained by Denise. Well, after the sound of pee hitting the drain died the door opened almost immediately after, and she strode out with a look on her face as if she had achieved a maximum of points at target practice on a firing range! Marvellous, I exclaimed looking her in the eye but pointing at the blue sky visible through the gap between wall and roof. I wanted to give her the chance to think that as a foreigner I might be just talking about the weather! Her smile let me know that she knew what I meant!
I sometimes wish all women could pee standing. It would make things much easier for me too. Searching for facilities for my desperate wife or friends when a quick standing pee could solve the problem, especially when skiing in snow suits! I have tried to give the web address about standing to pee to female friends; but some women think this is indecent. “No thank you, I can do quite well without such acrobatics”, was a normal reaction. Because I do not want to be regarded as a pervert nor to lose friends, I feel as if skating on thin ice when carefully broaching the topic! Oh well, maybe opportunity arises another time.
Dear April, you certainly have gone through a series of embarrassing incidents! Writing about them here must be helping you, or you would have given up doing so after sharing that pee into a cup in the car with us! Your last pee in the dirty beach toilets made good reading, but just try to think that those who saw you don’t know your name! Would that make you fell better? How about perfecting the standing pee method? Read Louise’s and PV’s old posts! Then there are posts about how to pee on the beach without anyone noticing. Or search for: Woman’s Guide on How to Pee Standing. Here I go again, bear with me. Love, Rizzo.
I've had that problem peeing when I needed to. also sometimes it happens to me when a mens room is crowded and I also get the start of an erection. Its very painful when you really need to go. normally when the sensation subsides I really have to go a few minutes later and have to quickly find a restroom. Your not alone.
I wonder if this ever happens to women?
also the girl on the masthead looks like she is really going with her pantyhose down to her knees. the one two back looked like she was posing with no clothes on below her waist. Just a thought.
Billy and Kevin L
Someone asked what we do if more than one person needs the toilet right away. At home, we have a guest bathroom we can use. Or sometimes we just run out into the woods. Plus our little brothers have a little potty. Sometimes we use that too.
Yesterday we went on a field trip. We went to a museum. When we got ot the museum, some of us had to go to the bathroom. Bob and Paul both had to do a dookey. So they went into the stalls. Bob said, look at this guys! There was a log about 2 inches thick and 2 ft long in the toilet. No toilet paper. We siad, bob, you really needed to go. He pooped on it and flushed.
At lunch time, we also had some fun. We both like broccoli, but most kids don't. We dared two kids in our classes we don't really like to eat it. They said we'll it if you do. Of course we did. About two hours later, we started farting. We were farting the whole way home on the bus. We felt bad. One of the girls on the bus was not feeling well. She didn't eat at all. She felt sick to her stomach. We ended up going up to the front of the bus (we were near the back). After school, we went to bob's house. We kept farting. We ate dinner there. After dinner, we both needed to make a dookey. We both passed rather mushy poops, which we normally do after broccoli. His mom saw billy on the toilet (kev went first). She said to kev, I hope you pooped too. You guys were stunk up the place. We told her that someone dared us to eat broccoli. billy finished wiping and bob sat down. He passed 3 logs on our mush.
Last summer we went to germany for a couple of weeks. Our dad had to go their for work and we went along. The toilet there are weird. Instead of your turds landing in water they land on shelf. When your turds land on the shelf, they start stinking, becasue they are not under water. Sometimes, after lunch when we would poop and have some smelly poops, the hotel staff would disappear from the front desk for about 15 minutes while the place airs out. Our room was on the same floor, about 20 ft away from the desk. The hotel would stink. One morining, after breakfast, about 3 or 4 of us kids had to poop. Then we flushed the toilet. Then dad came in and sat down. He put out a big smell poop. Unfortunately, just before we flushed, the water in the hotel was shut off by the water company to do some work. So he could not flush the toilet. We went out with our mother and brothers while dad went to work. When we got back to hotel after lunch, the toilet was flushed and the water on.! I guess the hotel clerks got the people to turn the water real quick. Anyway, the ladu at the front desk said the cleaning lady flushed the toilet for us. It was a good thing the water was back on. After lunch both of us had to make stinky poos. Then my brother justin had to poop. He only poops like every other day. ANd this was a huge stinker. Fortunately, everything flushed.
Woke up this morning and took my medicine and a few minutes later i had to poop really bad. I went to the bathroom and sat down and it was all very loose and soft. It was dark brown. Guess it's from the medication. I wiped several times and flushed
JARED- Great story. I feel the same way you do! I am still a little shy about taking a dump in public and I'm 22! I surely would have waited a couple more minutes to hear what the dude next to you produced. A fart at least! I never cover the toilet...the facilaties at college are pretty clean. I have had people come in while I'm on the john and that makes me very nervous. I do feel much better when they take a crap..especially when they let a lot of gas! That makes it all worth it!
Take Care and Post more Jared!
Plunging Plop Guy
Hi, Everyone and HELP!!
I'm having a really constipated time at the moment, and is it tough?!! I've just been on the toilet grunting away and pushing with all my might at shit I really needed to do and eventually dropped with quite loud splashing plops but only medium size.
Yesterday I went 3 times and had to work really hard and the day before not so constipated, very enjoyable but with a lot of work put into it, and I must have dropped as much as 3 day's amount! where it all accumulates I can't think but I've certainly been doing a LOT over the last few days. It's a mystery why it's so tough to do but I've made an appointment with a homoeopath next week who has experience of patients with intestinal disorders so that's giving me some hope.
Like many of you, I like to work hard and drop solid turds but not like these have been, it takes ages and yet it's there at the arse exit waiting to get done!
JARRED, Re. the guy next to you who used loads of TP and then you didn't hear his plops. My theory was that he was one of those who are shy about the sounds and just stuff the paper down the pan. I HATE guys doing that! Or, maybe he was one of those frightened of getting his arse splashed by the turds dropping.
I do hear this sometimes in public toilets and think how silly, anti-social and wasteful on TP!
Great to see you've got a few responses from other guys enjoying the comradeship of using toilets with their mates with them and how I wish I'd grown up in the USA,(Although we've got better toilet pans as regard loud splashes, especially the older style toilets!)
SHAWN, What you said about standing at the urinals for a piss, then realising you need to shit as well reminds me of about 2 years ago when I was having laxatives and staying in London. Several times I was starting to have a piss in a urinal, and as soon as I started, my shit started moving down, and felt very loose. Fortunately on each occasion I was able to get in and on the toilet in time , but as I'd no idea before that I wanted to shit as well, decided to play it safe from then on and always go in a cubicle, just in case and so I could turn round and do both jobs.
At least on one occasion, I couldn't control it; it was coming out However much I wanted to hang on a few seconds! That particular laxative was called Lactulose and I was told it wasn't the one I should have been taking. It works on the principle of osmosis of water into the gut, but to a greater degree than fibre works.
Hi BUZZY, No, I'm not really an expert with mirrors but I'd like the idea of glass toilets, underwater cameras and toilets with cut outs at the back! I just found it so complex, the positioning of the mirror to get the angle right and the light right, but I do like to have some reflection of myself when I'm sitting there and those reflective tiles in the USA sound great!
I look forward to any more advice about constipation anyone can give, but I know I'm doing everything I should.
However I do love chocolate, and have started having it again, and wonder if it's that that's doing It? I'll stop again, and meanwhile, look forward to seeing the homoeopath who says he will take 1&1/2 hours going through my history, so let's hope the answer's soon found- How to have a normal controllable firm but easy motion!
Look after yourselves and Welcome to all the newcomers! P P G
Bryan--the darker your pee is the most dehydrated you are. A standard for the desert (it rhymes in Hebrew) is someting to the effect of "If your pee is not clear, you haven't drunk enough" A lot of times when you don't eat, you also forget to drink which is especially important when you are sick. You should be drinking twice as much and clear liquids like water or apple juice as opposed to milk or soda. OJ is good too because of the vit. C.
I've really enjoyed the heart warming stories that have been coming on here, especially the recent Kendal and Dad and Andrew sagas and the exchange of Kendal/Linda stories from Dad and Cousin.
Louise--safety is a huge issue for sure. Maybe Steve can take you to the park sometime soon. I know he's busy with work and all, but one thing I've learned from college is that somehow the work will always get done; it's important to also have fun and take some time out.
As far as wiping the seat in a public restroom...ALL the restrooms I use now are "public" restrooms so to speak: dorm, student center, class room buildings. I tend to just check the seat for visible wetness and if there is a drop wipe it off and just sit on the seat. If it is really bad, I try to check another stall for a cleaner one. I've never gotten anything nor do I think I would, from touching a toilet seat, so I don't waste the paper. If I'm at a very public place that has the seat covers such as an airport I'll try to use it then, but again it depends on the appearance of the facilities.
Speaking of safety, I have a question to pose: at what age, on the average, is a child old enough to go to a public toilet on their own. I don't mean at their school or at the private pool that you always go to, but a mall or something to that effect. I mentor a 9 (young 9) year old in a big sibs program and when we're at school I always go with her into the bathroom in my dorm or the student center or wherever we go. I did not at her school or house of course. I just feel more comfortable because it's a college campus and she's just a little girl, so it's so easy for something to happen or even for her to get lost. So what age should the cdle before being allowed to use the public restroom alone?
Fred (not my real name, heh)
I'll never forget the funniest "accident" I ever had. I was living in an apartment close a friend of mine. I had never lived so close to him before, in fact we used the same grocery store (as I was soon to find out).
I was very sick one weekend, the flu, I had diaharea (sp) and I thought I was on my way over it. I was home from work that day (was the money after the weekend) and decided to go shopping to get some food--I was starting to get my apetite back.
Anyway, this friend snuck up and grabbed my shoulder & scared the crap right out of me. And i mean literally. I dropped a surprise in my shorts & spun around and called him a four letter word or two. I was VERY embarressed.
Of course it was his favorite story to tell for years to come. And while its probably been seven or so years and we've not seen eachother in years---I finally agree, it was kind of funny.
Heh, guess that's where the saying comes from, shit happens.
Friday, March 23, 2001
kim and scott
greetings all! TO JEFF A. -thanks for liking the kim and scott posts! and thanks for the flattering comments on my body and what I look like. YOU ARE SUCH A CHARMER!!and I tell you jeff arent i lucky to look like this and squeeze out ENORMOUS TURDS too!!haha! cant beat it. they say life isnt fair but it sure has been fair to me. i tell you jeff the way you flatter you will have all the ladies here lovin you!haha!bye now.and by the way scotts family has been to TEXAS also and loves it too. its one of scotts favorite states and his familys been to all of em except hawaii and alaska!! PLUS LOUISE-hi! dont rush steve to post but have him do so when it is convenient for him. you know i am surprised that you get a chance to post so much because your just as busy as steve is.bye love ya both! TO PV-HI! are your logs still getting bigger?. i hope so. mine seem to be getting bigger and thicker. I tell you how large can my logs grow? and how wide can my ring stretch girl?. we shall soo! n see huh!love ya. well thats all for now more kim and scott posts later...
did you ever use a japanese toilet?
Women make a LOT of bathroom noises! They certainly do at work! Almost every day there is a woman in a nearby stall farting loudly before a noisy poop. Women also fart while they pee.
Hey board, it's been awhile I know. I've been super busy with school stuff (ACK! Midterms! Now I have papers galore to work on and no time again).
Anyway, I hadn't read the board for a couple of weeks and finally caught up, but haven't had anything to post.
There's been some talk the past few days about clogged toilets. Living in a dorm . . . one day I was sitting in the lounge studying and this guy came up to me and was like "people need to stop acting like kids" I was like "what's wrong" he said "someone clogged the toilet" Apparently, someone had dumped what appeared to be an entire roll or two of toilet paper into the toilet so it wouldn't flush (no poop, didn't smell, etc). Then he started lecturing about how it's "not so hard to take a shit" and said "I'll go demonstrate" A minute later he comes out of the bathroom, stops to talk to me again about how immature the guys are, etc. The toilet had not been unclogged and the other two stalls were out of tp. He went off mumbling about how he was "going to prove it's possible". He came back about 20 minutes later and said "see, I told you it's possible" before returning to his room. It was an odd exchange for me, but I didn't say anything, just kind of nodded in symp! athetic support.
Anyway, this now somehow happened in my bathroom. Keep this in mind for a later story.
Okay, today was an impossible day. It was pouring freezing rain and I was caught walking 2 miles in it. My jeans (black) were SOAKED! It felt like I peed in my pants, only it was freezing. When I got back to school, it was about 11 and I did have to pee slightly, but was soaking wet and had to be somewhere. I changed my clothes and went to the activity and never had a chance to stop by the bathroom (okay, so I'm too social sometimes). I got to class (at 1) a few minutes later than usual but I was bursting, so I opened my notebook to the right page, pulled out a pen and ran to the bathroom. (The prof wasn't in yet . . . I actually saw him stopping by his office as I walked to the bathroom). The bathroom is very claustraphobic and you literally can't move if more than one person is out of the stall. Both of the two stalls were in use. One toilet flushed and the other girl began to wipe, so I took the first stall, noticing it was clogged. Lots of tp, pale yellow.! As I as bursting, I decided not to wait and just went darkening the yellow. I tried flushing, but again it didn't work. By this time, the person in the second stall had left and someone new was in it. I washed my hands and got back to class just as he asked (like at the beginning of each class) "Does anyone have any questions"
Anyway, was quite busy after class and finally got back to my room about 3:30 again bursting to pee (I drank almost all of a 32 oz coke and a can of sprite...) I decided to use the bathroom that I don't normally use (it's a bit farther from my room, but I didnt' want to do the steps). I peed and felt like I had to poop, but all that would come out was one tiny little turd. I went back to my room adn started reading my e-mail when I got a sudden strong urge to poop, so I went to the closer bathroom downstairs. The toilet was still clogged (over a week now) and the other two stalls were out of TP. My stomach felt so bloated and my butt hole tingled as the poop tried to escape. I've got very good control and have never had an accident (though I am APPALLED by what Christine and others have repoted :( Hope everyone is feeling better and it's okay, sometimes there's nothing you can do about it and you felt bad enough without further punishment) and went to the upstairs ba! throom all the way down the hall. I've been semi-constipated lately and have only done very small unsatisfying rabbit poops that take a lot of effort, so I was pleased to not even have to push with this one and it filled the hole in the bottom of the toilet. I tend not to have too big of poops while I'm at school because I don't eat very much. Also, I've noticed that I always make sinkers, never floaters. Does this happen to anyone else: you feel like you have to poop after you pee, but can't and a few minutes later have to go really badly??
Okay, so those are my stories for today. I do have a question for the ladies that is semi-bathroom related, but not really. I was at a program the other night one menstruation and they were discussing the Keeper. Has anyone used this or know anyone who has and what's it like? They say it is much better than anything else cause it's enviornmentally safer, cheaper, etc. Just wondering cause I'm thinking of trying it, but a bit skeptical of change. Thanks.
I've had a similar experience at a cinema (movie theater) when I needed to pee really badly, but didn't want to miss any of the film.
Eventually the urge changed into a numbness. I went to the restroom as soon as the film finished, then found that I couldn't pee. After standing at a urinal for two minutes, I got a bit worried in case anyone thought I was just in there to perv. So, I left and met up with my mates in the foyer.
When we got outside, my body decided that it was time to pee, so I ran and peed behind a large billboard. I seemed to be peeing for about 5 minutes! Suppose it serves me right for getting a 1-litre diet coke.
I've been working away in London for nearly two weeks now, and my BMs have just about stabilised. Until now, it had been a cycle of loose and constipated every 2 days. I suppose I'll get all that again when I go home at weekend.
Ah well, at least I'll have fast internet access again - 9600bps off the mobile phone is a pain!
Just a short note to Bridget to say welcome back and I most certainly DO remember you from a few years ago. You frequently expressed a desire to see the facial expressions of people who were straining to have a motion. In fact, I believe you were in search of a site with pix of that very phenomenon. I'll bet you never found one either and would have to start your own! It's also possible you preferred to see men rather than women in that most human of moments. Hope you're doing well and best regards from Paige and me...
Jared: Hi. I'm a 17-year-old guy and am new to this site. I enjoyed your post because my experiences have been similar to yours. I also used to be shy about shitting at school especially since the stalls have no doors. Also, the urinals are in front of the stalls so that other dudes taking a piss can see the guys who are taking a shit. During the last 2-3 years, however, I have started taking a dump during break every day at school. There are five stalls and I also feel less inhibited if there are other guys dumping alongside me. This means that the guys taking a piss can't single anyone out who is crapping for verbal abuse or teasing. Actually, many of the guys are real friendly. Guys I know from class or who are on the baseball team with me often stop at my stall entrance and shoot the breeze with me while I shit. I find this real enjoyable and am no longer embarrassed about other guys hearing me fart, drop my turds with plopping sounds or seeing me wipe my butt.! My best buddy and me often go to the restroom together during break. He usually just pisses and then comes and waits for me in front of the stall where I'm shitting. I feel real comfortable with him. I even look at the TP after each wipe and he can also see it with the shit marks on it, but he just acts as if it is all normal. To answer your question, I often wipe the seat of the shitter clean before sitting down to crap. Many guys piss in the shitters at busy times in the restroom and don't bother to raise the seat. The seats are therefore often wet with piss. I therefore often clean the seat with TP before sitting down. If the seat is clean I just sit down and have a good time without worrying about it.
kaven l biily l what hapen when more the 1 of you have to go realy bad and ther is only one toilet?