Changing ShitHi, I'm a male teenager who's been following this site for a while now, and figured it was time I shared a story of my own:
So, I was walking around my home town with friends, and we decided to go into Topman because my friend needed new shoes, so inevitably we went in, and I don't know if it was the change of temperature or what but all of a sudden I had built up immense pressure, which I tried to ignore, and it worked... for a while.
I spotted this shirt I really liked, and I had the money so I figured I'd g into the changing rooms and try it on, but just as I drew the curtains BAM, I really needed too shit, and new it wouldn't cling on much longer, so I ended up stripping naked and squatting over the changing bench too take a shit, and it was runny, it ended up dripping all over my legs and the seat, I ended up purchasing the shirt after putting my clothes back on, and getting on the bus home, where I had another accident, and a final one as I sat down before I got the chance to remove my jeans.
That's all for now folks
To Tom: I know what you mean about porta johnsTo Tom: I likewise have experienced the porta johns where sound travels well. Just last week I was at a company softball game. It was at a park where there are several baseball diamonds. There was another game going on. I had to pee badly and started toward a pair of porta johns located about 150 yards away from the fields. As I neared them, I heard the crunch of gravel behind me and looked back. A woman about 30 was coming toward the porta johns too. I'd seen her earlier - VERY hot, tight short blue jean shorts, very cute face and a butt that would turn heads everywhere. I went into the porta john and seconds later she went into the other one. I began my pee, which was only making a trickling sound since I was using the urinal. I heard her unzip her shorts, pull them down, and sit and immediately a blast of liquid sounding poop erupted from her with a huge spluttering fart at the end and a sigh. She obviously had to go badly. I wasn't sure if she knew I could hear her, so I cleared my throat loudly. A couple seconds later she blasted another splattering fart and more liquid sounding crap. I guess she either didn't care if I heard her or couldn't help it since she had to go so badly. I wrapped up peeing and left. As I got back to the seats, I glanced back and she was just coming out of the porta john walking back to the other diamond.
The Listening Ear
Part 14Expansion of our department forced a move into another part of the office complex. This was a floor of a tower block with a central utility core surrounded by office space. As you went out through the office door into the core there was a short corridor with lifts (elevators) on one side and the door to the stairwell on the other. The toilets were off the stairs half way between floors, alternating between Ladies and Gents. In our case the Gents was up half a floor and the Ladies down half a floor, which was the wrong way round for me, because the sounds I love to hear by putting my ear to the wall are conducted downwards but not upwards.
Standing outside the Gents and looking upwards, I soon discovered a pretty girl on the floor above, who at 9:45 every morning went bounding up the stairs for her morning poo, which kept me happy for a little while. But not for the first time I found that a short waterfall followed by two or three plops at the same time every day becomes boringly predictable after a while. So I decided to go one-and-a-half floors down instead of half-a-floor up, in the hope of hearing some of the women in our office.
But how to disguise what I was doing if I was discovered on the wrong staircase? The problem wasn't helped by the presence of the Dragon. The Dragon was the office secretary, who sat opposite the office door and kept a wary eye on all the comings and goings. There was a small window in the door, so she could even see who was using the lifts and who was using the stairs. So I decided that, despite being several floors up, all my excursions to ground level - to the main office downstairs or out to lunch - would be by the stairs rather than the lift, and if anyone enquired, I wanted the exercise.
Despite all this subterfuge, I don't remember anything I may have heard until we employed a young temp to help us with a sudden extra workload. She was a plain, solid, dull-looking girl with glasses, and yet there was something rather alluring about her long, silky hair and the hint of curves beneath her loose-fitting cashmere jumper, so that I listened to her at every opportunity, even though her waterfall sounded as dull and solid as she looked. One day she went to the toilet just I was going out to lunch. I followed her down as far as the Ladies, then hurried down the extra flight of stairs into the Gents and put my ear to the wall. But there was nothing to be heard. My first thought was what's happened here? Has she suddenly learned how to pee silently like my wife and J (and countless others I haven't mentioned)? Then, after about 30 seconds, PLOP! Ah, that was it! Another 30 seconds went by, and then a second PLOP! ushered in the familiar powerful waterfall, which was neatly rounded off by a third PLOP! That. Was. Nice.
Then, oh deep joy, something wonderful happened. The fascinating, thrilling but infuriatingly silent J (see my previous post) got a transfer and came to join us. I'll be frank. If there was any justice in the world, J would have been the love of my life. But as it was, we were both in relationships, and I don't think I would have been much use to her anyway, so there was no point in thinking about that. There was also little point in pursuing her downstairs when she went to the toilet. She was never out of the office for more than 85 seconds (I was timing her, of course), and in that time I had an extra flight of stairs to descend to catch up with her. And all for a few footsteps, a few silences and a lot of imagination.
Nevertheless, there were times. On one occasion when I was in the Gents and I knew she was in the Ladies above me, I heard a distinct trickling sound whenever I put my ear to the wall, but I was unable to keep it there because I was, shall we say, otherwise occupied at the time. So obviously I missed something rare that day. Equally rare was the yellow trouser suit she was wearing - the only time she ever wore it to work.
J had a habit of 'holding court' at the centre of a knot of people in the office, usually pontificating on some political agenda that was out of my sphere. I was passing such a gathering one day on my way to the toilet when I noticed her stop talking, detach herself from the group with a faraway look in her eye and edge slowly towards the door. This was interesting, as I knew she had been to the toilet only half an hour before. As she slowly dragged herself away from her acolytes, I overtook her and sped downstairs to get myself in position. With my ear to the wall I heard her footsteps as she entered the stall above me and closed the door. CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK . . . BANG-click . . . CLACK CLACK . . . CLACK . . . then the usual silence. But not for long! PLOP! . . . . . . . . PLOP! . . . . . . . . PLOP! . . . . . . . . PLOP! That was it. At last I was in heaven! That day she was stunning in a backless cream floral dress, of which the Dragon thoroughly disapproved on account of the air-conditioning.
On another joyous occasion (red and black outfit - ????!), I heard the tail end of her otherwise-silent pee as it dribbled into the water for the last second or so, followed immediately by SPLOCK! SPLUDD! Then she was up, wiped, flushed and away with her usual alacrity. This sounded so much like my wife's friend L that I wondered if J was also on some sort of bran supplement. Something the Dragon once said seemed to hint at it, and I knew for a fact that she herself was - not that I was the slightest bit interested in that!
And then there was the morning she came in complaining that she still felt full from a big meal out the previous evening. Memo to self - she hasn't been yet! Sure enough, within the hour she got that faraway look in her eye again and headed for the door. Unfortunately I had just that very moment got back from a visit to the toilet, so I couldn't very well follow her out, especially with the Dragon on sentry duty as usual. That would have been far too suspicious, and in entirely the wrong way! Against one of the office walls that bordered the toilets there was a row of workstations. I positioned my self at one of them and pretended to work. Despite not having my ear to the wall, and despite the toilets being half a floor down, I heard, very faintly, her footsteps as she entered a stall and closed the door. Clack clack clack clack clack . . . bang(-click inaudible) . . . clack clack . . . clack . . . then silence. Silence for 3 minutes and 28 seconds. Then clack clack, another silence (I didn't time her wiping) and a flush.
So there we have it. My love, who usually peed and poo'd in a matter of seconds, had for once in her life spent three and a half minutes sitting on a toilet, and I had had to miss it because of the sentry on the door! Grrrrrrrrrrrr! And that, my friends, is number two in the Three Great Frustrations of the Listening Ear.
Later that morning she apologised to us all for the strong smell of garlic that was still emanating from her every pore, adding "I have tried to get rid of it!" Whatever could she mean by that?
tbc in a couple of weeks.
To Olivia: Thank you for a brilliant first post. Obviously Abby likes you to poo in front of her, but you don't know why. Just take it steadily, and after a while you'll lose your poo-shyness with her, ust as you have done with Michael. Then I think you'll be able to ask her, if she doesn't tell you first! Do please keep us in the picture, this is great stuff.
To Amylee: Great post about Lydia. I love the idea of warring pooing women, and this is another variation on 'can you tell who is using a toilet from the sounds they make?' Leigh and Lydia may producecal farts and explosions, but you can tell which is which from the grunts that follow.
To Tom Tit (Thomas the Tit): I like the word shart. My father used to shart a lot.
RE; Olivia's 1st Post
Olivia i have to say your story was one of the best i've read on here in along time. Would love to hear more about you & your roommates.
Laura - I
For Amylee's new lady officeDear Amylee, i read your post about the new lady office. You said that she took the legs a lot apart and you could not see how her panties was streched. It could be be that she took out her panties or she lowered ot very high.
I use to make the same thing lowering just as enough my panty and pantyhose if i'm wearing a skirt. Instead if i'm wearing slacks normally I leave them to my ankles takign underwear and pantyhose.
About prepoop-fart also i use to make the same routine and sometimes could be embaracing for me if i'm in friend's bath.
Next time i will tell a story about a my colleague.
But that new woman does she wear pantyhose?
BYe listen next time
questions for Car MomWow, you and Kaylee are getting adventurous in the car! Nice. Where it seems to be heading is, it's OK to pee anywhere you can... except please don't pee where there are electric wires, such as the dashboard.
Questions: Are the car and couch peeing special occasions, or everyday fun? Do you both ever purposely try to drink lots so that you'll pee as much as possible in the car or couch? (How is that couch doing?)
And do you and Kaylee ever wear skirts? That might make peeing in the car easier for when you're away from home and not in your garage.
Thanks for posting your great stories. I wish I had been brought up so that peeing was a fun thing; it took me a long time to learn that.
Well I tried to fix things up with Laura today but it was no use. I called her on the phone today and I told her that I really missed her and that I was really sorry I upset her and that I'd really like it if she came over and had a pee with me. I also said "and I want you to pee WHEREVER you want" which was true and I also figured that saying that would make her happy. But actually I was wrong. Instead she said "you really don't get it do you." I said "what do you mean?" She said "come on Megan! Don't you get it? I thought we had something special! I thought we had a bond between us!" I said "well we did" and then she said "well I thought we had MORE of a bond! I mean you actually let someone else pee somewhere you wouldn't let ME pee in! I can't believe you would DO that Megan!" I could tell she was crying as she was talking. "You actually let someone else pee somewhere that I couldn't! How could you DO that Megan? I thought we were doing something special when we peed. I thought we were doing some wonderful things together. Having some experiments. You really hurt me when you let Lori pee in your front seat and not me! I wanted peeing to be something special between us. I didn't think I was just another one of your girls bringing you pee whenever you wanted it! I thought I was more to you than that!" I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to hug her and part of me wanted to slap her in the face. All I could say was "I'm sorry Laura." Then she said "well that's not gonna work is it Megan. How could you do that to me? Peeing means so much to me. I put up with so much all day at work and I just wanted to have a pee in that seat. And I wanted to do it SO much." I could definitely tell she was crying. "I wanted to SO much Megan! But you said we better not so I didn't. I respected that. But then you let LORI do it! You wouldn't let ME but you let LORI! How could you DO that to me Megan?" I still didn't know what to say. All I could say was "I'm so sorry Laura." She just said "f*** you Megan!! You don't know what sorry IS!! Now I have nowhere to pee but the f***ing toilet!!" Then she hung up. And that was that. On one hand I felt bad for her because I shouldve let her pee in that seat first. She was the one who had asked me first and I knew she really wanted to pee there. And looking back I wanted her to pee there too. I should have let her. But on the other hand she's being so selfish! I mean who is she to feel like she's better than any of my other friends? The world doesn't revolve around Laura! Yes I really like when she pees in my stuff and I really like the fact that Laura's pee is forever inside my stuff and yes she was right about us having a bond. But she needs to realize that I also have other friends too and I also like when THEY pee in my stuff too! I don't want to have to choose between her and them. Why can't we just ALL be friends? I don't get that. Why does Laura have to have this nasty side to her? I don't understand why she has to be that way. But I miss her so much.
On a better note I do have a story to tell about two teens who peed in my car the other day but actually one of them said she wanted to post it herself so I will let her do that! She was really interested in what we were doing so I told her about this site! Her name is Shelby so look for her! Her friend (or boyfriend) is Devin.
Bye for now!
Car Mom :)
Shoutouts and Dump at the MallAmylee - I enjoyed your post about your new co-worker. Interesting that the ladies in your office aren't afraid or embarrassed at all to just let loose in the restroom. Pretty cool actually. Sounds like the toilets in your office restroom suffer a lot of abuse during the day!!
Jennifer G. - excellent post about holding it in all day and finally releasing at home. Very well written and very funny. I look forward to any future posts from you.
Eileen - as always, I enjoyed your post about taking a dump while talking to the doctor - funny too.
Tom - you stated that you've yet to smell a woman's bowel movements that you haven't enjoyed - probably because you haven't smelled my wife's. I tell you - my wife can stink up a bathroom badly. The weird thing is that her smell doesn't linger for a long time after she's finished, but it's very intense while she's "going." There have been occasions where she is sitting on the toilet when I'm about to leave for work and she asks me to give her a kiss and the smell is so unbearable that I've had to say "Sorry honey - it really stinks in there."
Dan - interesting post about the women at your office and the door that doesn't close all the way. I wish my office was like that, because there are several hot chicks at my work who I would love to see/hear taking a poo-poo. The way our restrooms are situated now, there is no way I could hang out near the door and listen without looking like a weirdo. I have, on several occasions, entered the men's restroom right after a woman has entered the women's, and I've heard them taking out a toilet seat cover, although I think most women probably use them and it's not necessarily and indication that they are going #2. OK, enough of that.
So... on Monday, the wife and I both played hookey from work, as I was a little bit hungover and was just feeling plain old lazy. We went to the mall, ate lunch there, then went to a movie. Sure beats working, that's for shit sure. While we were at the mall, we were at an upscale department store that has a cafe in the store. We ate lunch there - I got a chicken club sandwich and the wife got some sort of chicken panini. Pretty good, but for the price, I would have preferred to eat elsewhere. Anyway, the wife wanted to look around at the merchandise, which I absolutely hate. I get bored very easily walking around while my wife looks at women's clothing. Well I figured I'd find the restroom and take a dump, since I had the urge to go, and nothing better to do.
I found the men's room, and there were three stalls. There is another department that has floor to ceiling stalls (which I've posted about previously), but that store was completely on the other side of the mall and I didn't want to walk, so I had to settle for the standard partitions. There was no one in there when I went in, so I took the first stall - the toilet and seat were sparkling clean, so I lowered my shorts and boxers to my ankles and sat down on the toilet. I didn't have anything to read, so I took out my phone and played a little 'Angry Birds.' Fitting, since I was about to drop some angry turds - haha is that not funny? OK, that was kind of dumb, but anyhow... I could then hear the restroom door open and close a couple of times, but I couldn't really hear much because there was music playing. I gave a slight push and let out several very loud farts. Thank God for the music to drown out the farting noises I was making, because that would have been rather humiliating. Weird too, because I don't usually have to fart while taking a dump. The logs finally dropped out of my buttocks into the toilet, and it was a rather disappointing and wimpy sized dump. I finished another couple of levels on Angry Birds, then put the phone back in my pocket and stood up to wipe. Luckily, not a lot of wiping was required, so I flushed and pulled up my shorts, then went out to wash my hands. There was a guy at the urinals and a guy at the sinks when I went out, which is always a little awkward, but oh well. I finally left the restroom and found my wife, who was insistent on getting a couple of pairs of shoes. I was able to convince her that she already has about 100 pairs, which is plenty... Adios amigos - have a great rest of the week!
Hi there everyone. Here are my answers to the two surveys that are doing the rounds:
1. Do you sit or stand when you wipe your bottom?
I stand up to wipe my bum since I reach round behind rather than underneath.
2. When you have a bowel movement, do you use wet wipes or moisten your toilet paper or just use dry toilet paper alone?
Just dry paper unless it's a really messy poo.
3. How many times do you typically wipe after a shit?
Usually about 5 to get clean.
4. Do you read, smoke, or talk on the phone while you shit?
Sometimes I will take a magazine or book in if I'm at home and in the middle of reading it. I have talked on the phone once or twice but I don't make a habit of it!
5. Do you often bathe just after a bowel movement?
Not unless I poo in the morning before I shower or after I go to the gym or something.
6. How often, usually, do you move your bowels?
Most days I will poo twice.
1. How many times a day do u go for a pee?
I have to wee a lot, sometimes as many as 10 times a day I'd say, but normally 7-8.
2. How long does it take you to pee?
It varies a lot. Sometimes just a few seconds and sometimes up to a minute, more if I'm desperate.
3. Is your pee stream loud or quiet when hitting the water in the toilet?
It usually makes quite a loud sound.
4. How long do u take to poo?
I take at least a couple of minute, usually between 5 and 10 and sometimes longer.
6. Whats ur poo like solid, mushy or liquid?
Usually solid but a bit soft, sometimes I get runny poo or diarrhea and sometimes it's hard.
7. Do u fart when u poo?
Usually I fart at least once or twice when I'm pooing.
8. Would u let someone of the same sex in the toilet with you?
Yes, I have in the past and will probably do it again!
9. Would u let someone of the opposite sex in the toilet with you?
No, that's where I draw the line!
Now on to my story. Today I was walking back from town. I'd had a poo coming on for an hour and needed to go but I thought I'd go home to do it. But as I walked back my urge became more and more pressing and soon I was really desperate and bursting to go. Walking back I pass the park where I have pooed once or twice in the past. I didn't have much choice this time. Luckily I had some tissues in my bag so I would be able to wipe. I diverted into the park and began to look for somewhere to do my emergency business. Coming into the park from the other side I was a long way from the cluster of bushes where I pooed before so I had to look for somewhere else. After quickly searching for a couple of minutes I found a similar clump of bushes and trees. Slipping off the path and into the trees I located a bare patch of ground and headed for it. I quickly lowered my jeans and panties and squatted. I started to poo immediately.
A couple of pieces sputtered out and I farted quite loudly. Luckily nobody was around to hear me! Once again it felt liberating to poo in the great outdoors. Another log slid out and then a couple of small balls of poo. One more turd and I was done. I wiped with the tissues, pulled up my panties and jeans and snuck away feeling refreshed!
Since I'm talking about outdoor poos, I thought I'd tell you that this weekend I'm going to the Lake District with my friend Lizzi, we're staying in a little hotel and going walking in the hills so no doubt we will need the loo outside at some point!
Bye for now!