I'm new here, but I really like that board, the stories are awesome, i love them. About myself: My name is Kerstin. I come from Germany, I've got long, brown hair and brown eyes. I'm 22.
Today i got to the toilet because i really had to poop. In the bathroom i was hitching up my skirt and pulling dowm my knickers , doing my wee wee with a hiss and tinkle then bearing down "OH! NN! AH!" passing a fat hard knobbly turd of about 8 inches long which made a loud "Kur-Spool-loomp!" followed by and easier fat sausage of about 12 inches which crackled as it slid out of my back passage and went "Floomp!" Man that felt really good. I wiped my butt a 5 times. I was feeling soooo good after that dump.
Hope you liked my story, even if its a little short....its my first one ;-)
so, now I've got some questions:
Some Time ago somebody mentioned the movie "Harold & Kumar go to Whitecastle". It started last week here in Germany, could you please that "Battleshits" once again?
And my other question is about the daily pic: I can never see one of those photographs, even when i use Opera. What could I do?
Thanx a lot,
Lyra--your Spanish teacher and your principal not only shouldn't have been teaching, but they should have been arrested for child-abuse! I don't blame you at all for not wanting to go back there. You should be able to sue them to pay your tuition to the school of your choice including the option of being homeschooled!!! People like that really tick me off!!!
Sir Richard Pumpaloaf--Think I'll stick to my usual photography targets of people, scenery, and buildings! LOLOLOL However, I must say that I can't remember ever seeing poop take such a form before, though I've also been known on a couple of occasions to poop the letters S & J, but not at the same time.
Sounds as if you feel a lot lighter now! Reminds me of that $64,000 question: "Did everything come out okay?"
Tim (and Sarah)--Your stories about your kids remind me of a couple of things I did when I was growing up. After walking in on my dad (who was peeing standing up--which he generally did until his Parkinson's made it more comfortable for him to sit instead), I thought that was a really neat trick and wanted to try it, too.
Not understanding that what he was doing was holding his penis, I thought that he had simply gathered up his skin (what I would later learn was called a labia) and was squirting pee through it.
I went into the other toilet (as he was using this one), put the seat up like he had it, gathered my skin together, and waited for the neat stream in the direction of the toilet to begin...and waited...and waited...and waited...until, finally, I began to pee--all over the floor!!!
When my dad came in, he put two and two together and explained to me that he was built differently than I was, so he could pee standing up but I had to sit down.
Up until I was well into being four, I used a johnny-pot that sat on the floor for the simple reason that it felt more safe and comfortable. When I'd tried to sit on the toilet before then, I almost fell in (impossible now, because my butt is so big!), so I wanted nothing more of that!
Then, my folks got me a seat that strapped onto the toilet to make the hole smaller for me--along with a footstool to rest my feet on.
When my feet were on the footstool, I felt more steady and was able to use the toilet without that feeling of being about to fall in. I did this first with the safety seat on it and, eventually, graduated to the regular seat.
As I got a little older, my feet almost touched the floor, so I would put them on a rung there and use the seat to put things on that I liked to read (that is, books, magazines, and newspapers).
Then, my feet touched the floor, and I still kept the footstool in there to use for reading material.
But--back to when I used to johnny-pot...although I moved it to other places in the house and took it with me on trips, the place I liked to use it the most was in my playroom.
I had it fixed up just the way I liked it.
I had Kleenex to wipe with and books stacked all around me (I was a very early reader, thanks to my folks and other adults and older kids for reading to me).
At first, I would call for someone to wipe me but, eventually, managed to learn how to on my own.
Although I would then have to go to the bathroom to wash my hands, this (the playroom) was the place where I went to the bathroom.
Anyway, a local supermarket where we traded had some kind of promotion going where they would give shoppers a doll from around the world for each time they bought so many dollars worth of groceries.
The dolls were beautiful, and, when I got older, I decorated my bedroom with them.
They were more--to me, anyway--for decorating with than playing with, because each one came in a beautiful powder-blue box with a transparent lid (framing them).
I decorated with them by stacking one on top of the other along a couple of walls in my bedroom.
They stayed that way from the time I got my own bedroom (around age 5 or 6) until we moved when I was about to go into high school, and they're stored away somewhere now.
Eventually, I want to decorate with them again.
One doll I definitely WON'T be decorating with--the only one I took out of its box when I was three or four--is a beautiful bride doll (likely, at the bottom of some landfill by now).
One day, I took the doll with me when I went to potty. After that, I decided that it was the doll's turn to potty, so I placed her in a way where she looked as if she were sitting on my johnny-pot (but, actually, I'd stuck her right into a mess of poop I'd done)!!!
She was a mess with her beautiful wedding dress and legs all filthy--and that was the last that I saw of her!!!
Penny--Since you could hear the emcee through the bathroom wall, I wonder if anyone in the room could hear all the racket that the blonde lady was making. Bet her husband was blushing bright-red!!!
Middleman--I did something like that when I was a high school freshman. Future Homemakers Of America (FHA)--either them or else 4-H (I was a member of both)--was having a bake sale, and we'd set up outside of the local store of a well-known national chain discount store.
In time, I had to pee and went into the store, asking where the restroom was.
The clerk pointed me in the general direction, saying to open the door when I heard the buzzer.
I heard this soft buzzer and opened the door that was closest to me.
There was a little boy in there who was at least eight years old, and I thought at the time that he was too old to still be going in the ladies' room, so it was time for his mother to cut the apron strings a little.
Just then, I saw a grown man standing at the urinal--and realized that I was the one in the wrong place! How embarrassing!!!
I ran outside and noticed that the buzzing wasn't coming from there. I followed the buzzing (which got considerably louder) and opened the correct door this time!
I think I'll sign off here, as I've written a whole bunch. Guess my portapotty report will just have to wait until another time!
WEST COAST PISS WATCHER
I like seeing people having to piss really badly. Women always seem to let others know just how bad they have to go. When men (or teenage boys) start letting others know, it's usually because they are desparate and can't wait much longer. There is a fast food place near where I live just off a major highway that gets lots of cars coming off a long stretch without many stops. There is also an amusement park fairly close and busloads of kids stop there to eat. One time there were a couple of bus loads and lines for the restrooms. One girl finally screamed out "I'm going to have an accident" to he boyfriend and asked him to clear the mens room out so she could go. Lots of times people (especially girls) come running in, desparate to pee. The best is when they're doubled over or unbuckling their pants as they're heading for the door. Occasionally they come in pairs or even groups and start telling each other how bad they have to go. Across the street from this place there is a gas station and the restrooms are positioned so you can see everyone lining up. I've witnessed numerous times when women espcially can't get in without a key (why they require one I don't know) and go through the throes of desparation. I've never actually seen anyone have an accident, though. A few times I know people were close but always made it.
I'd be interested in finding out what was the worst other people had to pee (or poop) without losing it. I've never wet myself but have had bad diarreah that led to a few accidents. As a kid we went on a long car trip one time and late in the day my parents had a fight and I had to pee so badly I actually thought about letting it go slowly so no one would know I wet my pants. We finally stopped for dinner and my mother figured out I hadn't been to the bathroom all day and suggested I go. I barely made it. Another time I was attending a week long sleepaway summer camp in the local mountains. They took us to a ski area that ran the lifts to the top of the mountain all year. I needed to pee pretty badly but there was no nearby restroom. I tried to sneak away to find a bush when we were told to line up for the trip down the hill. I was scared of the lift as it was and now had to hold in a monster piss. When we reached the bottom we were told to immediately get on the vans and trucks that took us there. I had to go so bad I was actually clenching my jaws and my whole body hurt. I was only 9 or 10 at the time and it's an absolute miracle I didn't piss my pants. When we finally got back to camp I went screaming for the bathroom and barely made it. That same week I didn't take a dump for several days (no doors on the stalls) and held it until one night I woke up literally starting to shit my pants. I didn't even bother to put shoes on, just ran as fast as possible to the bathroom. When I came out another kid was coming in. I knew him and he asked me why I was up and I described how I nearly shit my pants. He said he really had to go too so I waited and we walked back together. Another time when I was about 15 or 16 I went fishing with a friend who had access to a small boat in a Southern California harbor. We took this thing (maybe 10 ft.) out of the breakwater and onto the open ocean. Weather was calm but right after we got out I really had to pee. I could usually hold it pretty good as a teenager but his was a genuine struggle. With a small motor and no speed it seemed like forever until we got back and as it was we stayed out for several hours. This boat was kept in a marina that had locked gates and locked bathrooms! He had the key and since he had to go really bad too he took they key and went first. I was dying!! When he finally came out I grabbed the key and had maybe the most satisfying piss I've ever taken. There was also a time I rented a boat from a local pier and insted of getting a motor I decided to save money and just get oars. I took nearly half an hour to cover what was really only a few hundred yards where we fished. I had a friend who was 3 or 4 years younger with me (I was maybe 16 or 17) and he always seemed to need a bathroom and would say so. This time we were out for several hours and he didn't say a word. I'm guessing he knew we could not get back very fast and just held it in. When we finally returned my bladder was pounding I needed to piss so bad. I told him we should go to the bathroom before cleaning our fish and he agreed. When we got in he went right to the first urinal and let out a gushing stream of pee. I did the same in a stall. What a relief!
What stories does anyone else have?
Pam -- That's annoying, but don't feel bad. I've thrown up on a date because of being lactose intollerant, and once I even had terrible diarrhea and vomiting in a date's car...it's okay. if they really like you they won't care, and it's not like it is something you can control.
For example, last year I had some ice cream and it upset my stomach and during the movie we were going to afterwards I begged him to take me home because i felt so sick, but couldn't make it home and had terrible diarrhea and threw up all over his car. it was really embarrassing, but heck, i'm still dating him!
Whoa! It would seem to me that she did that on purpose... If all you were doing was brushing your teeth, a quick word to you indicating her urgency should have been quite sufficient.
Still... Sounds like you enjoyed her little 'presentation'!
To Charlotte & Cady:
Like a large percentage of black males such as myself, I became lactose intolerant as I grew into adulthood. (For anyone here who isn't aware, black males & few other ethnicities run into lactose intolerance as we become adults.) My first incling that my biology was changing was in my last year of highschool and my years at university. During exams, I got nervous (no surprises there...), but my stomach tended to get real active and embarrassingly loud. (Somewhere deep in this site's message archive, I've mentioned this before.)
It was in my 2nd or 3rd year at university that I realized my morning *milk* and muffin was the cause. Once I switched from milk to a juice in the mornings, my GI tract wasn't nearly as loud.
These days, my LI doesn't do much more than give me A LOT of gas & change the consistency of my stools when I poop. I find myself running to the Mens at work 4 or 5 times during the day, hoping the milk product I consumed earlier will get me to pass a good long & thick jobbie. However, in reality I know that 99% of the time the milk won't grant that wish. As a general rule, my poop just gets soft & mushy along with loud gas attacks as I sit on the toilet.
The good thing I find though is that the 'wind' I experience because of milk is usually odourless.
Well, I had my doctor's appointment today. I showed her the list of foods I've been eating, when I've been eating them, when I got stomach aches, when I had BMs and if they were regular or diarrhea, and when I woke up and went to sleep. One of the first things she saw me doing when she walked into the examining room was that I was reading a book about 12 inches long, 3 inches thick and was somewhat engrossed (sp?), so she asked me what course that was for and I told her, "Networking computers. And I think it is making me sick again." So, my doctor and I pretty much know that stress is a main factor. Also I'm allergic to some foods. But we can't figure out why I'm mostly getting attacks in the morning and what is causing the pain in my upper right abdomen. I've had an ultra sound earlier this year to check for gall stones, but nothing showed up. Plus blood was drawn to check the enzymes in my liver.
So my doctor put me on a new medication called Librax. This time I have to take it with every meal and I have to go back to the doctor next week. I am very frustrated. This will be my 6th appointment (for the diarrhea issue, otherwise it will be 9th--I was mis-diagnosed for three years with Marfan Syndrome and it took three dr. visits--one with the dr. I'm seeing now, who reffered me to a cardiologist. Long story. E-mail me at if you want to hear it).
I am very frustrated. I feel like I'm the only one in the world who is going through this. I gotta go. I am starting to feel yucky. I think it's the effects of the medication rubbing in.
Just a quick note to acknowledge some new folks and thank some old...
First off, Lexi--what can I say, I love your posts, and I wholeheartedly agree with Vince (and others) that we should hear some more! Keep them comin', and thanks again!
Along those lines, to Vince--I would love to hear any stories your significant other might have shared with you about her experiences in the restroom. First-hand accounts are fantastic, but there is also a major thrill (for me) when a third party describes a fantastic urination in detail. When others are simply shocked at the level of one's peeing ability, I very much like hearing from those as well as, of course, those that are able to perform such mind-blowing pees.
Finally, to Cady--welcome! There are plenty here who I'm sure would love to read of your #2 escapades, but I wanted to let you know there are more than a few of us who would like to read more of your big-bladder adventures. What's it like to be peeing still when all your friends/family have finished long before? Do you ever get any comments or strange looks when you finally do emerge from a stall? Again, thanks for sharing! Looking forward to more. Take care all.
MIchael explosive diarrhea
I've been constipated for a week and a half,but not anymore.The other day my friend came over and he sometimes shares his bathroom experiences
sometimes. I wanted to have a contest of battleshits to see who could take a bigger dump,me or him. He said no problem. I ate some cereal with a lot of fiber in it to get me going since I was severely constipated. He sat on the toilet first and said here we go. He farted and he pushed and I heard 2 plops fall into the toilet.He farted acouple more times and that was it. In the toilet there were 2 5inch logs and he said that he was gonna beat me. I pulled my jeans and boxers down and sat on the toilet and grabbed a magazine for comfort.
I let one rip and I started to push and push. I could feel this huge dump forcing its way out. I kept on pushing and pushing and pushing and it was still coming out. I grunted and pushed one more time and the turd fell into the toilet and water splashed. I told him I wasn't done yet and pushed out 2 10 inchers and farted. I still felt full so I strained and strained and a wave of diarrhea came out of me and it hissed and farts were coming out like crazy,he started to plug his nose and said he couldn't take the smell and went out of the bathroom. I finished by farting a couple more turds and shot some little turds and I said done. When I got up I saw the most shit Ive ever produced in my lifetime. My friend was plugging his nose and said I have never seen that much shit in my lifetime and I am 15.I got out the tape measure and THe first huge log I dropped was 29 inches,the 2nd and 3rd were 10 inches a piece,and the nasty diarrhea stunk and the last turds were about 5 a piece and evrywhere. I take the biggest dumps on this site don't I.comment on this story.
Last week I was really busy, and didn't have time to eat meals at home so I ate a lot of fast food, stuff like cheeseburgers, pizza, and tacos from like Thursday to Saturday. I knew I hadn't pooped since Tuesday, but my stomach wasn't bothering me at all on Saturday night when I went to bed. Sunday morning I woke up with an intense ache in my lower stomach. It wasn't cramps or pains or anything, it was just that my stomach hurt so much from eating all of that. I had a really heavy feeling and could feel all the food sitting in my stomach. I wanted to poop just so I could relieve my stomach, but I didn't feel like I had to. When I got out of bed I saw that my ????? was bulging out. I felt very sick and went and sat on the toilet. I rubbed my ????? for a while and finally started to pass some gas and then sat for another five minutes or so while my stomach cramped. I had a wave of painful, crampy diarrhea and then nothing else would come out, even though I knew there was more. I still had the full, achy feeling in my ?????, but couldn't get anything to come out. For the rest of the day, I had a bloated and achy stomach. That night before I went to bed, I started getting cramps again and had a really soft poop. My ????? ache continued, and yesterday morning when I woke up I had another episode of diarrhea. After that my stomach finally felt better.
Maybe a few will laugh at you (some kids are so insecure they have to make fun of others), but I'll bet a few will be grateful to you too.
I'll bet that both the principal, and the Spanish teacher, will think twice about harassing somebody who needs to go the the toilet, in the future. It's a good learning experience and all that, to speak only in the language being learned, but when you gotta go, you GOTTA GO.
Maybe you were the first to have an actual accident in class, but I'll bet there are plenty of other students who have come close to having an accident, thanks to that teacher.
The effects of your having an accident in class will affect the teacher, and the principal, for a long time. It's their job to maintain order, and to teach, and probably not too much of either was done in that class.
Any teacher or principal, who denies someone with a genuine need access to the toilet, is a closet sadist. That sort of person needs to mends his (her) ways, or get another job. Hopefully, your Mom will deal with those jerks appropriately.
Tenderfoot's post about pooping in the woods brought back memories of my own first camping trip (also at age 10). But the scout master should have been ashamed not to tell him about digging a hole and burying your shit! Nothing ruins a day in the woods like when your boot squishes into some guy's nasty bowel movement (or even worse, when you're walking barefoot around camp in the morning). I've come across mounds of shit lying right in the trail, with toilet paper or paper napkins right next to them and flies buzzing around.... yeeecch! My trip at age 10 was a weekender with my cousin, who was in college. After breakfast in the morning, he said "By the way, if you need to shit, let me show you what you do." He took a little orange shovel out of his pack and headed into the woods. I didn't have to go, yet, but had been wondering about it, so I followed him. He went a few yards into the woods, bent over and dug a hole about 4 or 5 inches deep. I didn't expect that he was going to give a demonstration, but to my 10-year-old astonishment and (I confess) fascination, he quickly dropped his shorts right down to his ankles and squatted down, facing me, with his butt over the hole. He pushed his enormous (to me!) penis down between his legs and pushed the skin back with one finger and peed loudly onto the ground (I realize now that his penis was uncircumcised, but having never seen one like that before, I remember thinking that my penis would have skin like that when I grew up.... no such luck!). Anyhow, he grunted a little and I could hear shit crackling as it came out his asshole. It plopped into the hole and he grunted again (harder this time) and another little piece plopped out. He reached into the pocket of his shorts and pulled out toilet paper in a plastic bag, wiped himself several times, checking the paper each time and dropping it behind him. He stood up, pulled up his shorts and we both looked down in the hole. I remember it was light brown and soft, sort of coiled up in a pile, not separate solid turds. The paper had missed the hole and was on the ground. His shit smelled terrifically strong, not at all like my own, which I never minded, but I felt like I was going to throw up, just smelling it. "Now we gotta stir it up so it decays faster" he said, and picked up a stick. He pushed the paper into the hole with the stick and then proceeded to stir his shit with it! I won't try to describe what it smelled like after that! Finally he covered it all up by shoveling the dirt back onto the hole and tamped it down with his boot and we went back to camp. And I still remember the feeling of male bonding a couple of hours later when I asked him to lend me the shovel and the bag of paper, and I headed off into the woods myself. To this day, I never shit in the woods without thinking about that first trip with my cousin Dan (I don't usually bother to stir it up, though!).
I'm often prone to making stupid mistakes. Among them are buying a medium soda when seeing a movie. Twice now (the most recent flick I"ve seen was Shaun of the Dead-don't miss it!) I've finished off the whole thing before the end, then towards the end desperately had to pee, so much so that I was wondering if I would end up damaging my bladder or kidneys. I was even considering using the empty cup, but I dunno; I was worried it would get too smelly or that someone would notice me.
Hi everyone. I don't post too often unless I have a real good story to tell. Kris I finally found your post and all I can say is be proud that you have a huge bladder. It's fun to be able to pee and pee long after everyone else has finished. The Women With Large Bladder thing is so cute I think I'll use it. Lexi, wow I tried to add up the pee times, and I think you had gone around 4 or 5 minutes when that lady walked out- who knows how long she probably stood outside listening to you. Lol. I've never done the great outdoors adventure yet but sounds like fun. Kris I agree, there definately is something about secretaries having mega-bladders.
In that vein I had another adventure at school. Most times I really enjoy being the restroom queen, but ocassionally I just want some peace and quiet without my girlfriends pounding on my stall door inquiring if I'm ever going to finish, or yelling jokes about flooding the restroom floor and overflowing the toilet. I have a pretty rowdy group of girlfriends. O.K., last week I just wanted to take a giant-huge pee in peace and quiet because I was pissed in more ways than my bladder. After studying really late the night before, I nearly flunked my Geometry Exam. I HATE math and I hate my old fat math teacher in particular. But more revelent I had not peed since about noon the previous day, so by sixth period the test result anticipation and my kidneys had finally come screaming to the forefront. Like 66% ick- wow do I ever have to pee!! It all came down at once.
When the bell rang at 2:58 pm I excused myself from everyone and walked all the way down to a restroom that's adjacent to the administration office and seldom used by students. As I rounded the corner, one of the office secretaries approached from the opposite side. I've never noticed her before. She's probably thirty, a little shorter than me and not pretty or anything. Just an ordinary lady, alright? She's got some folders and papers and stuff with her which I thought was kinda weird for going to the restroom, but since I had to pee soooooo bad I didn't even care. We sorta acknowledged each other going in and took up stalls directly opposite each other- the place has three on one side, two regular ones and a handicap stall on the other. I quickly fling off my school backpack ripped down my jeans and slowly, then more forcefully, started to pee. In fact I had to go so bad it was over a minute before I even began to take notice of the surrounding area. When I did take stock of the situation, I couldn't help but notice a few yards away on the other side of the restroom there was this woman peeing away, not violently, but strongly and steadily.
But a minute's a minute, right? I still payed no particular attention and besides I hadn't even begun to pee yet. Some more time passes and we're still peeing then I hear this abrupt cut-off. Is she done? For about thirty seconds the restroom air is filled with only me peeing while I hear folders dropping on the floor and some rumaging of papers on the other side. Then all of a sudden she starts in peeing as steadily as before. About another minute passes, then a second minute. This woman is definately on my radar now- she has a large bladder at the very minimum. Suddenly for a second time I hear her stream stop, followed by a shuffling of papers for the better part of a minute. I deliberately slowed my stream to a drip-drip-drip while I listened. After a protracted silence she starts in again, as forcefully as before. I started to get the same vibes as I did with the lady at the airport lounge. How long and how much is this woman gonna pee? There we were, two peeing machines going at it in the afternoon on either side of the restroom.
An almost human stroke of intelligence hits my brain. (I maybe dumb in math but I'm not stupid.) This woman probably has so huge a bladder she took some work into the stall with her to occupy her time! I knew I was still holding a lot left- and just maybe my bladder has grown some since the airport incident. But I clamped down and stopped my stream then loudly began unzipping my backpack and pretended to file through all my books and stuff, stalling and stalling, holding off resumption of my pee. All the while I'm hearing " pee-pee-pee-pee" from the other side of the restroom. Unreal! Finally I couldn't hold back anymore as the urine pressure was too great, and I came back with a piss-whoosh right in the middle of the water below. Folks, I don't know to put htis, but some time has passed and we were still peeing away. Something had to give. And it did.
"I see you do the same thing I do," I heard her say through the metal dividers and the pee.
"Well I got a "D" on my geometry test today."
"No, I meant that you take reading material in with you when you relieve your bladder."
My mind starts to race. Do I say something or not? Oh heck, why not.
"Yeah, sometimes I do. I guess I must have a big bladder 'cuase I take a really long time to pee." Nothing but pee sounds for about ten seconds.
"Well join the club...my husband tells me I could irrigate the Sahara desert...there are times it gets a little embarrassing peeing so long."
"Yeah," I added not knowing what to say to a school office secretary peeing like crazy and roughly fourteen years older than myself. "I get teased a lot in the school restrooms."
To my great relief, she didn't get strange but said, "Yes I can't certainly understand why. Hey, come down here anytime...It's private, quite...and I can use the company." She is really a neat lady!! With a super mega-bladder!!
That day I learned a new way of stretching out a pee with a huge bladder. After a long-long-long time her pee stream tapered off, but she didn't finish in the traditional sense. She continued to sit there on the toilet, doing paperwork, and every few seconds a tinkling and dribbling sound would emit, followed by a full thirty seconds of silence...then a thin stream for ten seconds. Wow! It added, and I'm not kidding, about five and a half minutes on top of her already enormous minutes and minutes long pee. And I, on the other side, bravely attempted to duplicate her, just sitting on my toilet pushing and pushing, dripping and dripping to deliver the message that I too was still not done with my pee. It's a girl competition thing. My abdomen was sore trying to squeeze more urine out.
Finally, I heard this dropping of folders on the restroom floor while the soft tinkling was still going on.
"Good. I'm glad that's all done. Nothing to take home."
"That's nice. I have a tone of homework." A few seconds later I heard,
"Oh come on now bladder, enough's enough. Stop already. REALLY! "
I heard her quickly ripping off a tissue followed by the toilet flushing. She came out and over to my side and gently knocked on my stall door. I opened it slightly and peered at her slightly red-faced still on the seat.
"I just want to introduce myself. Susan. I work with staff in the Principal's office." then with a slightly impish tone in her voice she added, "I wish I could stay and pee the afternoon away with you but I have to pick up my hubby." She's wasn't DONE YET?!!
"Well...uh why don't you go back and finish then?"
"No," she added care-free-like, "I'll take it up when I get home. With my luck, I'll have a whole lot more to go by then. Bye..have fun..hope it all eventally comes out...'tll next time."
that woman can PEE!!!!!
I never posted here before, but I read your stories sometimes. Yesterday something happened that I like sharing with you. I work as a game warden in a big forrest and lakedistrict. I was walking my round when I saw two boys from around 12 or so on cycling in my direction. I hid myself because there were some troubles with people commiting arson (fire the place up) and maybe they knew more about it.
The boys parked their bikes around and walked to a parkbench. They sat down and talked for a while. At the moment I planned to go on with my round - it was clear they weren't the suspects - their talks got my attention. "Come on, I dare you to do it". "I'll bet you .... some amount of money, (wasn't audible). One of the boys stood up and was showing the other kid his rear. I couldn't believe my eyes on what happened next. THe kid started to push a turd in his pants! I heard him squeeze and push. His friend laughed and encouraged him. "Ok you won" he said and he gave his friend some money. He was the hero and walked around for some some minutes with his hands in the sky in a way a baby would walk, having an accident (legs spread, u know). "Are you gonna clean up?", his friend asked. "No way, grandma isn't home, let's go to her place and I'll clean up there". "Are you getting back on your bike and squash your mess, man" his friend asked in disbelieve. "No way, we can walk, it isn't far" he said while pissing (not in his pants). I was more shocked! The only houses in the region were mine and the house of the old lady Carnighan a few hundred metres away. So that little rascal must be her grandson!
And indeed, she wasn't home because she was feeding the animals at the lake. That was the moment my plan came into action.
"You are most kind, my dear" she said when I offered her a ride home with my car.
When we arrived at her place I helped her out. At that moment her grandson and his friend, with their bikes in their hand, arrived. I winked to the old lady and she winked back.
"Tell me David, did you have an accident or was it on purpose" she said in a voice that didn't endured protest. The young guy turned red and didn't know what he must say. Also his friend was stunned. "So you lost your tongue, didn't you David?" "Well my eyes and nose are well enough to know you made a big mess in your pants". She looked the boy in his eyes and stopped talking. The old lady let her old hands speak and "warmed up" her grandson's (poopy) bottom.
he that miscief hatches, miscief catches.
(Well, he made some money out of it, didn't he)
Good morning--getting ready to rain here. Yesterday I had a very satisfying b.m. I had gone out to get the paper, and just that much walking made my rectum fill. By the time I got to the toilet, the turd was nearly poking out, so I got the mirror, sat down, leaned well forward so my bottom was several inches above the seat, and watched. The turd started out knobbly and dark, then after a few inches became smoother and lighter brown. It came fairly fast, taking not longer than four or five seconds. It hit the water before leaving me, so that when it did drop, the splash was quite soft. That was it, just the one, and I wiped once. The turd curled around the bottom of the bowl, and when I flushed it stuck in the bend--first time in a long time I've had one that did that. I flushed again and it went down.
No interesting sightings or soundings lately. I really enjoy reading about your normal bowel functions, how they feel, look, and sound, and about experiences you have of seeing or hearing others poop, or seeing what they have left in the toilet, or outdoors. I know that, once in a while, we all have an exceptionally big or satisfying dump, and I like reading about those as well.
Happy pooping, everyone!
Desperate to poop
Wow cat your story reminded me of a desperate situation i encountered. I was driving home and felt a sudden severe urge to poop. After struggling to find a toilet i finally came upon a public toilet in a car park. I raced in only to find one toilet with no door and a thirty year old with her pants around her ankles moaning loudly! I grimaced and held my bum as i was desperate. she could see this and apologised but said she was having a bad case of the runs! I waited for ten minutes and was by now absolutely bursting. The lady got up to let me go but sat back down immediately as another cramp arrived. I moaned and could not wait so i pulled the bin over and unloaded into that. What a relief. I unloaded for a good ten minutes until finally the lady was done and i could use the toilet. I continued to unload and a forty
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Over the weekend my wife and I were visiting my in-laws and I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. All of a sudden my mother-in-law walks in and grabs a magazine out of the cabinet in the bathroom. I thought to myself "No way". But she pulled her pants down and sat down. She has a certain kind of sexiness to her and when she pulled her pants down, she had her back to me and it was nice to get to see her bare butt. I got aroused really fast. As soon as she sat down and opened the magazine it was nothing but loud farts, plops, and grunts. It really stunk. After she was sitting for a minute I felt awkward and left the bathroom and closed the door. She said, "I'm sorry, I really had to go." But when I left I closed the door but you can kind of see inside the reflection off the tile floor. She sat for 20 minutes and it was nothing but loud, pew-y farts and plopping. I could see her wiping her plump butt after she was done crapping and she wiped about 6 times. It was quite crazy to say the least.
I was stuck in bad traffic earlier and i really really really had to poop. It hurt so badly, and i was practically crying in pain and trying to drive my car at the same time. Finally I pulled over at a Staples. I was intending to go inside and ask for the bathroom but when i got out of the car i had to go so badly that i couldn't walk. carefully i hid behind my car, pulled my pants down, and relaxed. I pooped three giant liquidy logs and then had terrible diarrhea. i then got back in the car and by the time i got home i was bursting to pee. i got inside my apartment but couldn't make it to the bathroom and had an accident in my bedroom.