dawn
question- when i pooped earlier tonight, there was blood around it.. it was a lumpy poop if you know what i mean.. and there was blood in the various "valleys" of the hills.. what could this be?Amy
Once when I was in grade school I had to poop badly but it was toward the end of the day so I figured I could hold it untill I got home. I was starting to get really bad gas pains and crapms but I could still hold on longer. Bye the time I was getting off the bus I had to run to my house to keep from going in my pants. But when I got to my house I discovered that I didn't have my house key and was locked out of my house. I ran over to both my neighbors' houses' but neiher of them were home so I went back to my house and started to cry. I tried to hold it but I couldn't and soft warm runny diarrhea went spilling down my legs I was wearing overalls so it went down to my ankles. I had diarrhea for about 4 more minutes then I was done. I had to wait and hour in my soiled clothes for my sister to come home from high school. I had another attack of diarrhea later that night.
Laura
JULISSA: Hey that was a great story about watching your boyfriend take a dump. I guess he must have wanted you to come into the bathroom since he left the door part open? Did he show any signs of enjoying you watching him do his business? It's great that he let you look into the bowl and see his logs when he stood up to wipe. Did you get a chance to look at the TP after each wipe? I also enjoy accompanying my boyfriend to the bathroom when he has to take a dump. At first he was a bit shy, but now he's totally relaxed about it. He always lets me peek into the bowl before he flushes. I'd like to watch the turds coming out of his asshole, but that he just won't allow me to do. I guess he has his limits! He enjoys me being with him when he poops now and usually gets a boner!
Jay
I have looked all over on the internet to find out an answer to my question and i just cant look any further. Do obese people have to use a special toilete or i guess i just really want to know how the go to the bathroom, like how do they fit. Im not trying to be mean i'm just really curious.Andre
I remember when I was ten years old I was going to visit some relatives in New York. As we got to the airport my mom said to go to the bathroom now because the plane was leaving in like thirty minutes. And so as I got in to the bathroom there were like ten stells. And like I saw like four peolpe on the toilet (I just saw there feet). I did not stink that much but it was really noticibal. And then there was one grunting pretty loudly.Since there was no one else in there I decided to wait. I think they were all friends since they all were talking to each other.(what luck!)But the sad part was I did not get to hear any farts or plops. As they were leaving they were all short not bad looking either. And they were running out the door.
Sorry I did not have dicriptave details but it was four years ago and I dont remember it very well.
Later,
Billy and Kevin
During the summer, we have a morning rec program. Mostly we play soccer at school. Some high school kids, a soccer coach and gym teachers and a couple of college kids run it. So we have about 30 kids from our classes who play soccer every morning. They are pretty serious, so we take breaks to drink often. Usually during one of these breaks we have to go poop. Usually we wait until one of us really has to poop. We gt some water, then head to the bathroom. The bathroom has two toilets, but no stalls. If some of us have to pee, usually they are use one toilet while someone poops on the other toielts. While we poop, we talk, mostly about soccer. Sometimes one the college kids (bob) gets in before us for a pee. We would all come in and start to pee or poop. Once he said, "Do you have to poop like that?" Kev was about to sit down. He siad, no I can poop like this. The toilet seat was up and he squatted over the seat. He made a huge turd that was like 15 inches long and was really ! hanging out of his butt. bob just smiled and left. The next day, he peed and about 4 of us had to poop. He said, how can you go infront of everyone like that. We said, hey its no big deal. Everyone poops. We are all friends here adn we have been pooping in front of each other since we got out of diapers (and actually whle we were still in diapers). He siad, yeah, I guess. Besides, we can all go home, but that would be about a 15 minutes before we get back and can play again. About two days later, I really needed a poop. I saw bob go up to the bathroom. I figured he was going for a pee. When I got in there, he was sitting on a toilet. I siad excuse me, and waited until he flushed. two or three others had to go. We went in and did our business. This happened two or three more times over the next couple of weeks. Then, aroudn the 4th time this happened, he said, just come in. When he got done wipign, he got up and washed his hands. He said, you guys are right. It is not such a! big deal. Since then he has pooping with us in the morning (about once every 3 or 4 days) when has to go. And a couple of the other high school kids do too.
John Q Public
Adrian:
I find that to be the same with me some times. So far we have had several days of weather in the 90's and it's been pretty hard to take a crap. I also notice that I don't pee as much because of all the sweating I do. I take bicycle rides in the evening, and realy sweat it up.
Scruffy:
I never heard the term "autointoxication" before, but from what I understand it does seem to be a crock of shit (pardon the pun). Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was lead to believe that when a person dies, one of the very last thing he or she does is take a shit. I can't swear to that as fact, but that's the way I've heard it.
Ana Maria:
I think most people would have a hard time "performing" in front of an audience, even if it's an audience of one. Any time people feel pressured, they tend to have problems with "bashful" bladder or bowls. In my case just the opposite was a problem but I already went into that and I won'b bore you with it all again.RP
To all: this is my first post and i have been reading here on 6 months now. One day at my school (6 y. ago) i was digging in your sandbox when i found a pair of underpants WITH POOP IN! i was surpriced then, now that turns me on. All on the school get in to a meeting and i dont remember what happened afterwads.
APO
Although i often enjoy the stories on this site, as an auxilliary police officer for the **PD, I could hardly stand to read all of Ronnie's story. It pained and upset me. These police officer's conduct was disgusting and by law such conduct is labeled "cruel and unusual punishment". The officers had some defense as to their actions while they were in the woods, however there is NO EXCUSE for their conduct after you were brought into the station house. I'm GLAD that you got a settlement, and this is coming from a person that knows when a cop is wrong. They had NO RIGHT.
Nate in AZ
JOE STOOL: Your post was right up my alley,in fact we mirror each other. I've been lurking here for 3-4 years and have posted some stories, but often wasn't "accepted" and got to the point where I gave up posting. Think I began around page 300 and now its up to almost 1000! Have been going back and viewing the old posts...up to page 45 at present. Anyway, your turn-ons are mine....sounds, facial expressions, large turds, ALL of it! Too bad there's no way of contacting others in this forum. I've never had another to share this with like a lot of people here; it came from watching my younger sister sit and plop when I was about 10. I hope to hear more about your particular likes. Even though I havn't found anyone in person, I have a good library of postings from here and videos to satisfy my desires! I printed out your post because I want to refer to it as perhaps the most lucid treatise I've heard!Linda GS
Hi everyone. Wow I'm popular again.heehee..it's been a while since I had a few people say hi.
ELEANOR
Thank you SO much for passing a message to me from Kendal and drew. it made my day. I was getting so worried I was. Gald to hear they are okay and you are too. Hey don't be too eager to please Drew..if you're not comfy with him wathcing then don't Wait till it feels right..beasides..heh making him wait is part of the fun.[wink wink]Heh but man that kendal's getting brave..not doing or saying anything when you brother peeped on her..I'd hate to see what would happen if she was alone in the house with my cousin. Same on you. hee hee
JW
WOW long time to talk. Oh boy..trust me you had to be there..I mean it seemed the more I tried the more it refused to move. And what's worse is that earlier in the way I could feel it move inside my guts and it HURT!!! No the babies are not training..however the accompany me to the toidy as well as Elena. Poor us..we have a full blown audience. But boy they are getting big. No enema stories I'm trying to avoid them..I hope for things to happen naturally..if they can. Do you have any stories?
Anna Maria
I know how you feel. I used to be that way with my cousin's wife Elena. it wasn't so much.. I mean I didn't mind her seeing me butt nekkid on the toidy but the fact her seeing me STRAIN when I pooped and hearing all the noise I made that did. Anyway did you poop? You left that out of your post..I hope you did and that it helped you loosen up. Sometimes I wish I could volunteer and help out in things like this. i mean I can help..I've been there and done that. It's true I have the T-shirt and the coffee mug. Hee hee
Punk Rock Girl
Good I'm glad to hear things are okay. Hey I'm just trying to make people happy. Besides you know my pain.. POOPwise anyway.Hee hee. Um okay i got no problem with you dropping trou and showing me but can we please NOT be in public okay? heh heh. Sorry just you made it sound like when we met the minute I'd say hi you'd moon me and show me. Sorry. My scar's okay I guess but it's on my face near my eye where all can see it. Plus I've been sunning a lot so it's still noticable. Not like my cousin who fell in a ditch when he was 4 his scar is covered by bangs and such much like you. Still it be cool to have a poop session togther. bet I'd beat the pants off of you in a contest anyday.Hee hee.
Robby and Annie
Glad to hear from you too.
I like the masthead pick. she looks like my big sister Marisol. Any folks I've been dancing around doing my poop dance for long enouhg I gotta have a sit on the potty. Anyway who wishes to come along do so now. probably won't fit. hee hee.
XOXO
LindaHey, in the movie, Eyes Wide SHut, what part of the movie is the toilet scene? if there is one, someone said there was
Linda GS
Hi everyone. Wow I'm popular again.heehee..it's been a while since I had a few people say hi.
ELEANOR
Thank you SO much for passing a message to me from Kendal and drew. it made my day. I was getting so worried I was. Gald to hear they are okay and you are too. Hey don't be too eager to please Drew..if you're not comfy with him wathcing then don't Wait till it feels right..beasides..heh making him wait is part of the fun.[wink wink]Heh but man that kendal's getting brave..not doing or saying anything when you brother peeped on her..I'd hate to see what would happen if she was alone in the house with my cousin. Same on you. hee hee
JW
WOW long time to talk. Oh boy..trust me you had to be there..I mean it seemed the more I tried the more it refused to move. And what's worse is that earlier in the way I could feel it move inside my guts and it HURT!!! No the babies are not training..however the accompany me to the toidy as well as Elena. Poor us..we have a full blown audience. But boy they are getting big. No enema stories I'm trying to avoid them..I hope for things to happen naturally..if they can. Do you have any stories?
Anna Maria
I know how you feel. I used to be that way with my cousin's wife Elena. it wasn't so much.. I mean I didn't mind her seeing me butt nekkid on the toidy but the fact her seeing me STRAIN when I pooped and hearing all the noise I made that did. Anyway did you poop? You left that out of your post..I hope you did and that it helped you loosen up. Sometimes I wish I could volunteer and help out in things like this. i mean I can help..I've been there and done that. It's true I have the T-shirt and the coffee mug. Hee hee
Punk Rock Girl
Good I'm glad to hear things are okay. Hey I'm just trying to make people happy. Besides you know my pain.. POOPwise anyway.Hee hee. Um okay i got no problem with you dropping trou and showing me but can we please NOT be in public okay? heh heh. Sorry just you made it sound like when we met the minute I'd say hi you'd moon me and show me. Sorry. My scar's okay I guess but it's on my face near my eye where all can see it. Plus I've been sunning a lot so it's still noticable. Not like my cousin who fell in a ditch when he was 4 his scar is covered by bangs and such much like you. Still it be cool to have a poop session togther. bet I'd beat the pants off of you in a contest anyday.Hee hee.
Robby and Annie
Glad to hear from you too.
I like the masthead pick. she looks like my big sister Marisol. Any folks I've been dancing around doing my poop dance for long enouhg I gotta have a sit on the potty. Anyway who wishes to come along do so now. probably won't fit. hee hee.
XOXO
Linda
Bryian
To Anna Maria: Enjoyed your story about your roomate.
To Eric in Chicago: Liked your story, i too should be having corn in my logs very soon, i ate lots of corn over the weekend(fresh corn).
To Billy & Kevin: Loved your story, what did you guys eat before you had the runs? I hate when you gotta keep having to poop like that, especialy when you aren't home. do you guys? Sounds like Kev had a nice huge log. cool!
To Punk Rock Girl: Liked your story, hey where are you from? Im in the east.
To Outhouse Scott: Loved your story
To John Q Public: Liked your story, do you think you had to shit because of what you ate at McDonalds? Liked your story from when you were in school.
To Unnamed poster: Re the beach..loved your story..thats great you made a friend whos into peeing..cool
To AJ :o): enjoyed your story
To poo finder: Liked your story
Last night i had another bathroom dream. This time i think i was in a restaurant and i had to go to the bathroom, pee or poop i forget..think it was poop. I see the first stall is ajar w/ a kid in there about 4 years old and he was white too,i was gonna accidently walk in but i decided not to and i took the last stall and the kid looked over at me and then i saw him on the toilet. Then i was in my stall and this other kid a black boy w/ long hair came in and had to poop and he was eating in there...then i was in the stall w/ him and saw him on the toilet but i did see his poop. Then i took his food to his parents and im like is this yours and they took it. The kid kinda looked like that little black singer..whats his name..the one that has a new movie. I forget his name..oh i think its LiL Bow Wow or something like that. It was weird.
Any way i worked today and on the way to work i felt an urge to poop. It got stronger then it went away and its been gone a while. Well gotta run bye.
the "HOLD IT" man
Louis:
I am going to try again next weekend. I want to give my bladder a break but I will post as soon as I know. I will do it your way and figure the average as well.
John Q Public:
That is some story, and in some ways I can relate to what you are saying. I didn't have the problems that you had, but my interest in peeing also began at an earlier age, but I will save that story for another post.
Everybody:
I had a wrather embarrassing but very imusing experience last night (or at least I thought it was funny). This is about the 'danger' of wearing head phones while walking out in public. No, I'm not talking about getting hit by a car. That danger is a given so I usualy try to stay away from busy thourghofares. I am talking about not being able to hear what your body is doing.
Anyway I usualy do take a walk in the neighborhood at night time, for exercise, and I enjoy listening to music while I do so. Last night, I was happily strolling along, humming along with I had on my head phones, and I PLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLPLLPLPLPL thinking that nobody could hear it because of the music, and forgetting that I was wearing head phones. Suddenly I realized that I was blowing farts, and as luck would have it, right behind me were three of the mose DROP DEAD GORGOUS women I have ever seen in my life. They were laughing, and I started laughing, and said "oops. Sorry ladies. It dosn't pay to get old." So the moral of the story is when you have head phones on in publc, it's better to hold the fart and bear the pain then to blow the fart and bear the shame. But it fels S0OOO G0OOD.
Louis:
I meant to say, that's increadible. 1600 militres. My hope is that I can go for 1000 on Saturday.Arthur
There are several good bathroom humour scenes in Goldmember.The first one is where Austin is talking to Dr.Evil in jail.Dr.evil is trying to convince him that he has issues with his father and then Austin has a solemn flashback but then turns around to see Dr.Evil peeing in one of those prison tiolets in his jail cell.
The next scene involves fat bastard who is now a sumo wrestler in Japan.You can see his shadow on one of those Japanese doors and he's sitting on the tiolet singing on top of spagetti all covered with cheese and then he gets up and looks at it and says hey I didn't eat any corn.Then shortly later Austin is trying to sneek by in a cart and all these sumo guys throw their thongs in there with him.Then fat bastard mentions how he had a fart that sounded kinda wet.He sniffs his checked kilt looking thong on top of Austin and he jumps out lol.
There are also two scenes involving peeing.In the first Austin is trying to hide from a guard behind one of those angel statues where the water comes out so that it looks like it's peeing but he accidently trips the plug.So no one will come check he stands behind the statue and begins to pee but his stream starts spraying over the pond and then starts dying down so he keeps drinking to keep it up while at the same time trying to bend down and put the plug back in the statue but he gets caught anyway.
Later on he tries sneeking into Dr.Evil's submarine(shaped like his head just like his volcano lair in the 2 nd film)and dresses up as one of the guards.There's only one suit so he has to stand on mini me's shoulders(who is now helping Austin)and another guard(a doctor)tells him all new recruits need a physical.He tells Austin to give him a urine sample so while he's not looking he gives mini-me some apple juice and he spits it into the cup.By then the guy is looking and mini me's spitting is mistaken for Austin peeing strangely lol.I assume he did this because he just peed so much before and couldn't produce a urine sample.There's also a part where he's behind the screen and it looks him pee is coming down between his legs but I forget what it really was.Anyone else see it and remember or any other scenes I may have left out?I think it was another guy's urine sample or austin's and they spilt it.Anyway it was a really funny movie and I highly recommend it.It was mostly ! about the relationship between Austin and his father and Dr.Evil,Scott in mini me and has lots of flashbacks to when Austin and Dr.Evil were young and there's a surprize at the end involving Dr.Evil,Austin and Nigel(Austin's father).IF I left out any good bathroom scenes let me know.
Oh yeah one last one was fat bastard during a solemn moment farted again like at the end of the last film and said Sorry I farted.
INA
LOUISE: Hi dear, thank you for your nice words! I am glad there are also other women, who like me get mad about women being expected to pay and wait while men can just pee and go...I read an article the other day, where they are planning to put up outdoor urinals all over London to prevent guys from pissing in the streets. They wanted to lay out little maps in the pubs where to find the urinals on the way from the pub home. They planned to put up a fine of £500 for urinating in the streets. I was very interested to assume from this that women obviously don’t need to pee after coming from the pub...That’s good to know...I never understand that most girls I know, don’t get so annoyed about such treatment. You usually get a "yeah, that’s not right...", but then they join the queue or desperately hold it until thay find a toilet. Maybe it’s me that’s wrong there. I bet you are looking forward to go to Spain. I would as well. I hope you will have a wonderful time! You know, using! toilets seems to be very much out of fashion over here...lol. The other day I went for the toilet in the park and there was a young men standing directly in front of the toilet building peeing into the bushes...(???) I should have grabbed my tool and joined him, giggle, but I had to poop...I went to the library after that and there was a father with a son of about four and an older daughter. The girl refused to take her little brother to the toilet and the father got mad at her cause it was near to closing time and he was waiting in line. Suddenly he just rushed out with the boy, took him next to the entrance and let him pee there with everybody watching...I thought it was funny, but a bit silly, as the toilets were just a few meters away downstairs...On my way back through the park, I needed to pee again, but it was late (still daylight though) and the toilets were locked. I decided to join the latest fashion and did a standing pee with my tool into a little puddle of rain! in front of the door. I was quite afraid to be seen, but then at least in my case there weren’t any toilets. I liked your stories! Wish you good sightings and lots of loveXXX
STEVE: Thank you so much for your nice note! Your hug was very nice and is definately replied by me. I also appreciate that you understood my visits to the men’s from my point of view! Do they often have nets in the urinals? I thought that was strange, but funny to pee into. I read before that there are lots of ‘rules’ for men to be followed while pissing when other are there with you, like not taking urinals next to each other. Do you experience that as well? I always love your descriptions they are so good! The love I sent to your wonderful wife goes to you as well of course!
ROBBIE AND ANNIE: I am sulking, cause I sent you a long post and got no reply (it’s on 949 in case you missed it) ! So hugs and kisses is all you get from me today. Hope you are well... Lovexxxx Ina
LOVE to SARAH S AND MEGHAN, CARMELITA (OK, MY DEAR?) TIM AND SARAH, RIZZO, PV, EPHERMAL, PRG, PPG AND EVERYBODY ELSE...
Tuesday, July 30, 2002
Anna Maria
I am curious to know what, if anything, you all find most embarrasing about sharing the bathroom with someone else. I am generally pretty open about these matters. My roomate and I often share the bathroom while we are getting ready in the morning and I usually have no difficulty defecating while she is in the shower or even next to me grooming and she does the same. So I was a bit surprised the other day to find myself extremely embarrassed when she followed me to the bathroom at a coffee house. There was a chair in there with the toilet. I pulled my jeans down just below my knees and my panties just above them and sat down on the toilet. It had been three days since I had had a bowel movement so it took me a minute to relax. My excrement began to move slowly, stretching my anus to the max. Meanwhile we continued our conversation, but I became very self conscious because my roomate was looking right at my face, which I knew was wearing a silly grimace, plus I was grunting a! lot as we were talking. She offered to leave but it seemed silly. But I did kind of use my leaning forward as an excuse to avoid eye contact. And I blushed a lot. When we share the bathroom at home we are too occupied with grooming and the like for there to be much eye contact.
Anyway I thought it kind of interesting that I was more embarrased to have someone see my face while I was having bowel movement than to have her see my "private parts."
ucgenie
Eric were you letting another load out in your shorts as you were writing? Imagine if you let out the coli flower load J ohn Q Public let out.
Eric in Chicago
PeteSkeet: Yeah dude, riboflavin piss is way cool. I've got some pure riboflavin pills and I've been taking them just to get real yellow piss (I tend to drink a lot of water so my piss is often kind of pale). I got some good yellow stains on a couple pairs of briefs the other day with the help of riboflavin. It's also real cool for writing your name in the snow; you can drink lots of fluids in order to have lots of "ink" without it turning colorless..
Jones Soda used to (for all I know, they still do) market an energy drink called WhoopAss, which was advertised as having so many vitamins that it would make you pee bright yellow. Riboflavin is actually used as a yellow food coloring sometimes (especially in Europe).
Update on my corn-shitting: I took 3 more dumps that were full of corn (all of them in my shorts). I took a real lot of psyllium fiber (9 glasses of water with a tablespoon each) about 6 hours ago and now it's starting to come out (you make a lot of clear goop in your shit) as are the blueberries I ate last night.
Louise
ELEANOR AND KENDAL - Hi girls! Hey I liked your story about Ellen having the huge poo. Do you think she is going to grow up to be another Kim? giggle
Steve speaking.
Hello, Kendal. Yes, perhaps Ellen is another Kim in the making if she is capable of producing something so large at such a young age. Perhaps you had better keep plenty of soothing gel in stock!
Sorry to hear things have been a little awkward for you, having been found out that you and Andrew accompany each other to the toilet. As you say, probably you will see chances when the time comes.
Eleanor, always a delight to hear from you. Thanks also for your best wishes, and I feel very flattered by your compliments.
I enjoyed the story of Kendal watching you on the toilet - she was invited, of course! Kendal is quite right - there's nothing unusual in having your legs and buttocks spread out when sitting on a hard surface such as a toilet seat. In fact there _is_ something wrong if there isn't any spreading. I think you'll know exactly what I mean, because you are without doubt a sensible girl. Unfortunately for me I didn't know many girls as generally mature and sensible as you and Kendal when I was your age.
Anyway, Louise is often described as having an athletic build with a bust. She has beautiful, well toned legs, keeps herself fit and can sprint like you, and has resumed her modelling career as I'm not the only one to appreciate her gorgeous figure. She is very beautiful. But guess what - even her legs spread out a little if she sits on the toilet! (I've just received a light slap on the back of the head for my trouble) <snicker>
No, seriously - don't worry about how you look when you sit on the toilet, as the spreading you describe is normal, and you sound like you are developing a pair of legs to rival Louise's. Just look after them and keep them in trim by exercising and eating the right things.
Louise here!
Hi Eleanor! Steve is so right there, you know. Just you forget what those idiot boys said about you when they saw you sitting there on the toilet
Steve speaking.
Yes. Their immature comments are misplaced, are of no importance and don't deserve any time spent worrying about them. Listen to Kendal - you're obviously a lovely girl.
Love and best wishes to you all from Louise and Steve xx
THE HOLD IT MAN - Hi guy! Louise here! Well I bet I can only do 42.5ml every second when I wee because I am a girl. If I had a dick then maybe I would only get to something about your 27.5 rate. I think it is still a good rate you know.
Love Louise xx
ROBBY AND ANNIE - Hi! Yeah, my sister has really come out of her shell now. It is like she just can not stop weeing in front of her boyfriend. She loves it and she is less shy since they went to bed a week ago. It is a really funny story but romantic on page 950. On Sunday afternoon we went walking with my sister and her boyfriend. My sister was dressed the same as me, a white tank top and denim shorts, so we looked like twins. Steve and his friend got confused again but they looked on my finger for my wedding ring to be sure. LOL Well we were walking through the park when I wanted to wee and my sister said she did too. So we went behind some bushes and trees, and I pulled my shorts and thong down and so did my sister. The men watched us squat and water the grass, and we let them look between our legs when we were squirting. Steve's best friend is a lot of fun and he is shocked at how heavy I wee. giggle They stood there looking and comparing our streams, those naughty! boys!
Steve speaking.
Ahem. I seem to remember you were both comparing our streams earlier that afternoon, Louise. Then you say that we are 'naughty'. <snicker> And Damsel, I'm shocked at some of the things _you_ said.
Love from Louise and Steve xx
Tim and Sarah
LOUISE: Hi dear! Thanks for your reply! So you think, I had forgotten my manners? You are probably right. I hope it counts as an excuse that I was young, drunk and desperate...No honestly, I simply did not realise that our space might be the only suitable spot for a pee around and thought the girls would go somewhere else. I also said that later to Hannah, who was teasing me about it. I remember she grinned and replied something like: "maybe there was and we just wanted to see you pee and maybe there was not and you weren¹t nice". So whatever, you are right, I should have offered it first. All I can add to my defence is that the whole time while I had the bunch of ladies at my place, I left the bathroom to them every morning and cycled to college to do my morning poop. I think the tutors were getting suspicious as it was the only week I turned up in there every day before lunch, lol, only joking. Thank you for saying though, that you usually asume I am a gentleman. I try, b! ut sometimes....So here is our story, we promised:
I was in the garage repairing Sarah¹s car, when she came in to see how I was. I was nearly finished, but a bit cold and dying for a pee, dancing a bit around. She noticed and asked, why I did not relieve myself and I explained I wanted to finish before having to put my shoes off and wash in order to use the bathroom. She understood and I continued. She stayed and stroke my back. I really had to go and danced around on the spot, while turning the screws. Sarah tenderly said: " Why don¹t you quickly pee in the garden?" I grinned and shoed her my dirty hands. She also grinned and said: "Looks like you need help..." So she pu her arm around me and let me into the garden. We went into the corner and she opened the zip of my overall and lowered my underpants a bit then she took my penis out and pointed towards the bushes. With a giggle she said: "Wasser marsch" , which is the fireman¹s term for turning on the water...I laughed and fulfilled the task. Sarah enjoyed herself and! I concentrated on keeping my stream running, while she aimed it high and low. It ws a giggle. It¹s been a while, since I peed with s.b. else holding me and it was an odd feeling. Nice of course. I had to go for a bit and after I finished, Sarah shook it off. She was quite routined for the first time, but she rightly remarked it was the same as with Loewie, only everything bigger, haha. She put evrything back in order and we kissed. I finished with the car and went for a shower. Sarah also came in and I returned the favour by aiming her with a nice yellow gusher against the shower tiles. I am such a lucky guy...that¹s all I can say. I hope you are fine and having fun (like in the park, grin!). Love to you and STEVE
ANNIE AND ROBBIE: Nice to hear you are back! How is it going? It was funny to hear you also had the same reactions to the water. You should have told us before, lol...We get the reaction from everyone you meet here: "Oh yes, that can give you the runs", but nobody tells you until you joined the club, haha. Anyway, it was ok. My doctor put me back onto smaller portions and I poop at least two times a day, but no diarrhoea. The weather is really hot at the moment and we are having lots of fun on the beach. Big romance going on as well: Not only between us, but Josie met a little boy here, she fell for head over heals. His name is Patrick, he is six and he is here as he had to battle leukemia last year. A very intelligent and grown up little fellow, who seems to have similar feelings. They are so cute together. They want to spent every minute together and they are even holding hands and cuddling. Of course, I am jealous as hell, that I am not the coolest guy in my daughter¹! s life anymore, lol....Luckily we get on with the parents fantastically as well. And thankfully little Patrick seems to be on the full road to recovery! I can imagine it being the worst nightmare, what his parents went through. Anyway, the two are very cute to watch! Hope you are all fine!! With lots of love from Sarah and me and love to your girls as well!
ADRIAN: Hi there! Yes, the warm weather can easily lead to constipation, if you don't take enough water in. It's cause you sweat more. I think our whole family is having dryer, firmer poops at the moment, as it's so hot here as well... All the best to you!
Lawn Dogs Kid
ROBBY & ANNIE & PV: Thank you so much for your concern. Kendal and I have no problem with the way Dad treated us. We know he loves us both. He didn't actually catch us in the toilet. What happened was that there was an argument between him and Ellen, because Ellen wanted me to go to the toilet with her one evening. Dad told her that she was big enough to go on her own, and besides, its naughty for girls and boys to go to the bathroom together. So Ellen blurted out "Why ? Kendal and Andrew go together!". Cue intense interrogations !! Mum has been quite wonderful. Her opinion was that she didn't see what all the fuss was about, although she hasn't said that in front of Dad. But then Kendal and I knew she wouldn't be too upset with us, given what we knew about how she and Kendal's Dad ( they were sister and brother ) used to go to the toilet together. I told her I knew all about that, because Kendal's Dad had told us so before he died. Mum was very surprised, and was! quite overtaken with emotion when I recounted the story of how one cold winter's night, she needed to wee, and Kendal's Dad had taken her to the cold bathroom, sat on the toilet so she could sit on his knee and not get a cold bum, and then he had wrapped both her and him inside the enormous old dressing gown to keep them both warm while she had her wee. Mum then finished the story in tears and with laughter as she remembered well herself how neither of them had thought about where her wee would go, and that Kendal's Dad had sat down with the dressing gown under his bum, so when she started to wee, it just made a huge puddle in the dressing gown instead of going in the toilet ! My Mum and I hugged, and she said she'd try and calm Dad down a bit. And that if Kendal and I were to watch each other again, it might be a good idea to do it when she and Dad weren't about. Then she added that they had no idea about what we were doing, so we had done a good enough job with that befo! re anyway. But perhaps we might consider not doing it when Ellen was about as well. That way she would have nothing to tell Dad about in the future. I felt that was a reasonable compromise, except that Ellen is pretty much always around !! But never mind, the wonderful talk with Mum made me feel a whole lot better, and I told Kendal all about it tonight as well ! I suspect we'll soon be enjoying a toilet visit or two that we haven't felt comfortable about doing for some while now. They will be far less frequent than before. But now they will be twice as special !! I just feel very sad to be excluding Ellen. But Kendal and I both think that she will soon be old enough to trust not to say anything. And in the meantime, She and Kendal still go together anyway. Glad to see Kendal's latest post made it on the site. Hopefully this one will as well. And so glad to see that Kendal has finally helped Eleanor get over her problem of not wanting people to see her on the toilet. It m! ight only be Kendal at the moment, but the ice has now been broken ! And Eleanor, you are definitely not fat. Like Kendal said, I'm sure you are a vision of beauty sat on the toilet, just like my little princess is ! Not that I'll find out about that of course !! Take care all, and thanks once again. Love Andrew.
LINDA GS: Babe !! What a mega poop ! And you are dead right about scars. I told you so when you first got yours, and now I see you telling PRG the same. People who really love you won't be bothered about your appearance. Just like Kendal and me ! Take care Babe.
XOSXOS from Drew.Steve and Louise
I really like today's masthead picture. I don't think she looks as pretty as Louise, but she has the same long blonde hair. Squatting with her trousers down, she is weeing in a corner like Louise does. Reminds me of the time (long before we were married) that my wife resorted to urinating in a shop doorway one night. The street was crowded and there was nowhere else for her to go. In fact that night there were several girls doing exactly the same.
Perhaps I should thank the site moderator for reminding me of that.
To Eleanor and Kendal,
Sorry to hear things have been a little awkward for you, having been found out that you and Andrew accompany each other to the toilet. As you say, probably there will be chances in the near future.
Eleanor, always a delight to hear from you. Thanks also for your best wishes, and I'm very flattered by your compliments.
Kendal is quite right - there's nothing unusual in sitting on a toilet seat and finding your legs and buttocks spread out. Even Louise's legs spread out a little if she sits on the toilet! (I received a light slap on the back of the head for saying that) <snicker> This morning she sat on the toilet and I heard a long series of plops, so she was obviously in a mood for dropping a number of depth charges. No, seriously - don't worry about how you look when you sit on the toilet, as the spreading you describe is normal, and it sounds like in a few years you will have a pair of legs to rival Louise's. Just look after them and keep them in trim by exercising and eating the right things.
Take care, now.
Steve.
To Ina,
Louise here!
Hi girl! Well when I go to London and if I drink at night then I will have to insist on using one of these urinals that are meant for guys to use. Do they really think girls don't wee?!
Steve speaking.
Hello there, sweetheart. Thanks for the compliments, and I always enjoy your posts and replying to them.
Yes, indeed there are unwritten rules for men to follow when using urinals.
1) If the room is empty, go to the urinal at one end. oooooooo|
2) If the urinal at one end is in use, go to the other end. |ooooooo|
3) If both end urinals are in use, go to the one in the centre. |ooo|ooo|
4) Never look across at anyone else.
5) Beyond the level of utilisation described in 3), you have to look for the largest gap and occupy the urinal in the centre. |o|o|ooo|
6) If the room is packed, then go for any gap but concentrate on your own business and totally ignore your neighbours.
No doubt there are other general urinal 'rules' that escape me at the moment.
I don't want to be overdramatic, but in addition to the urinal etiquette I also have a few extra public toilet rules of my own that I've always followed, with personal safety in mind especially in certain pub and nightclub environments.
1) From a discreet distance, observe the entrance to the gents' for a few minutes to check for signs of suspicious activity and anti-social behaviour before actually entering.
2) Once inside the room, without looking directly at people, scan the interior for occupants and mentally note any stall doors that are closed. Be suspicious of anyone who appears to be loitering for no good reason and consider leaving the room immediately if 'things don't feel right'. If still not certain, go to the mirror as if to check your own appearance when your real purpose is to further size up what's going on.
3) If things look okay, then go and have a wee but still be aware of what people are doing. Be conscious of the room door opening and anyone else who may enter while you are in such a vulnerable position.
No doubt plenty of people wouldn't think of reconnaissance as part of going for a piss, and _virtually_ all of the time you can do so in perfect safety, but there have been a couple of times when I've seen it not quite go to plan.
To answer your other question, I've only ever once seen netting in urinals as far as I can remember. I think the reason for the netting is to prevent men well versed in the social graces discarding cigarettes in the urinals instead of bins, where they ought to go. I can't say I've ever understood some men who feel obliged to follow a ritual of treating urinals as ash trays and then spitting in them before urinating. Having such lovely manners is their idea of being 'manly', perhaps.
Have another hug from me, Ina. You are not limited only to one, you know.
Best Wishes from Steve and Louise.
To Tim and Sarah,
Hi there. Thanks for your comments. Yes, I understand your concerns about the welfare of the 17 year old member of Louise's netball team. The thing is, she is very independently minded, and was one of those who gave me a telling off for not looking! She is quite petite but urinates quite a fierce blast. I remember a time she and Louise's close confidante Jackie came back to our place to bathe after a match. The youngster stood in the bath and proudly released a deluge into the bathwater. It was quite a sight, and she can rival Louise in a distance peeing contest.
Now the female facilities have reopened I think I am a little safer from all of them. <snicker>
Best Wishes from Steve (and Louise).
Joe Stool
NATE IN AZ: Thanks for the warm welcome! Due to time constraints, I wasn't planning on addressing anyone personally today, but bro, it sure is nice to feel appreciated. I have fond recollections of your posts that have made it, and while I have a hard time believing that the POSTERS wouldn't accept them, I've learned - through the difficulties of others here - that wording stories to fit into the (justifiable) parameters of this forum can be a delicate dance, and appreciate your frustration. In any case, through your welcome, you have made me realize that by including the INTERACTIVE capabilities of this forum in my routine, I can get more out of it than I ever dreamed possible. When I said, in my first post, that privacy concerns made it difficult to post, I suppose now that I need to clarify the statement; This was INITIALLY the case, but later, when perhaps I had the opportunity, I was already in the HABBIT of not posting, and subconsciously grew to view myself as a! lurker. I posted on a whim, and boy am I glad I did.
More on our numerous simmilarities later.
To the rest of my favorite Shitfans:
There are so many more of you that I wish to address in the way that I spoke to NATE in AZ, as you have often helped to make my day just a little browner and better. Also, while pee is not a personal interest of mine, I have a history of urinary problems and associated stories that those of you of that persuasion might find interesting. Alas, however, due to finals (I'm finally back in school and finnishing up at 30.), I hardly have time to take a good dump. If it seems that even under these constraints, I have a hard time being concise, I suppose that all I have to say is analagous to a big shit that's been building up for six years, and I just realized it was in there. On to my story.
This happened to me recently and is 100% true. I offer the disclaimer because;
A. It sounds to good to be true - if for no other reason, because the statistical probability (in my experience) of three such RANDOM encounters in such a short time frame, is likely to be infintessimally (sp?) small.
B. While related fiction on the matter is a WONDERFUL thing (I plan to include some in the future!), it ranks lower in my personal turn-on hierarchy (not accusing or saying 1 is better than the other), and I like to know as surely as possible that what I'm reading is a factual account.
I was doing my laundry and needed (as I so often do) to take a leak. The laundromat bathroom was out of order, so I went next door to a large fabric and craft store. I went to the back corner of the store to find a unisex bathroom with the door closed and the lights & fan on! Instantly, I felt that old familiar increased heartbeat/adrenaline rush, and prepared at once for great reward or great disappointment. It wasn't disappointment. Right away, as I was waiting, I heard a gutteral,vocal, loud (but stuccato, not enlongated and trailing like many grunts) - UMMH.!. Silence followed by a rythmic succession of others exactly like it - UMMH....UMMH...UM UMMH! Except for slight emphasis on the last grunt in each cadence (repeated the same way several times), the loud, short, gutteral (almost like quick throat clearing, but clearly not) succession was impecably rythmic and pure - devoid of any other types of exertion noises, farts, plops, or crackles. This gave the! performance a strange (but not unpleasant) impersonal - almost androgynous character. I was hoping it wasn't a guy (no offense to 'yall who are in to that - even though I'm not, I'll share it when I hear it), but soon my fears were allayed by a series of circumstances and background noises that overlayed the latter half of this private poem. There came what sounded like an impatient slamming of a door, which I quickly deduced to be the cabinet under the sink. At first I thought that maybe the struggling individual was holding on to this for leverage and violently jerking back, but this continued in a rythmn that was at odds to that of the grunts. Following this was the voice of a toddler. After maybe a minute and a half to two, the grunts stopped, as I heard a woman laugh lovingly, in sharp contrast to the stoic, impersonal straining. She then spoke to the toddler (I can't remember what she said), not once reprimanding the child for the racket that I assumed it had ca! used, and sat in silence for another thirty seconds, only to wipe twice, flush, and wash her hands uneventfully. Finally she came out, and there stood a fairly tall blonde, grey-eyed woman of about sixty: handsome, vibrant, and robustly feminine. She was thick, but not fat, and holding the hand of a lovely, perky toddler that I took to be her granddaugter. In a faintly midwestern, alto voice (I'm in the SE US) she smiled and fibbed apologeticly with a maternal wisdom that belied her superficial aura of prudishness, "I'm sorry about the wait; It takes her a while to get going sometimes." I smiled back and mustered a generic but friendly"no problem", as I walked in and closed the door. Normally, I would have been disappointed by the fact that there was no smell, but this time I was not, as it added a touch of reality to remind me that I wasn't dreaming. Inside, I found that the loud fan masked all noise from outside, giving the user the illusion that the same was true ! in reverse. This explained the volume of the woman's grunts, which was unusual for even the most publicly uninhibbited of us. I then confirmed that the slamming of the cabinet would be impossible for the user of the commode, as it was several feet to the right in the spacious bathroom. This, combined with the location of the voices, a sample of the woman's voice, and the incongruity of the noises with a toddler's vocal chords was sufficient verification of a wonderful truth. My temporary "change in shape" made my already bad peeing aim (more on that later) even worse. More amazingly still, this was only the beginning of an afternoon's trilogy that I would hardly believe. Stay tuned for Part II within the next few days! Later, Joe Stool.