I've been so busy lately. Then I got sick :( Just the flu. It's really strange because it's been all upper respiratory (sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, fever) as opposed to stomach but I really haven't had an appetite. Part of that I think is because my throat hurts and it hurts to swallow. I literally have been gagging when trying to drink water (I just discovered that juice is better). Anyway, my friend brought me a soup and juice and as soon as I sat down to eat I got this sharp pain in my butt and ran up to the bathroom where I proceeded to "pee" from my butt for about a minute. Then I also let out a solid piece (I couldn't see it because it sank and the water was an opaque brown.) I don't know what that is all about cause I don't have a stomachache and it didn't hurt. If you're wondering, yesterday all I had to eat was a can of chicken soup, a popsicle and a juice. I skipped classes today and am feeling a bit better (fever was down), so hopefully I'll be u! p for classes tomorrow. Maybe it's just dehydration...
Annie (and Robbie)--I'm currently not having trouble with constipation (in fact, I had to go as soon as I posted that...) but it's a *perceived* thing. I went through my whole life practically (from elementary school through most of high school--see earlier posts) with severe problems. The longest I went was over a month without going. So, now I just get very concerned when I'm unable to go for a few days because passing monster turds gets really painful.
Meghan and Sarah--I hope Sarah is feeling better. I know how unfun constipation can be. At least you are able to have each other to support you and Annie too. Yes, I started classes a couple weeks ago. It should be a good semester (at least as soon as I get rid of this bug). This one I think is better than the other one which is vomiting and diarrhea for 6-8 hours straight.
Louise (and Steve)--that was a really cute story about the bath. You're lucky that you are so open with your friends.
Hello also to Jane, PV, Malita and gang (hang in there) and everyone else.
Rich and Kathy (RJOGGER and WIFE)
It is a cold Sunday in New York, yeah, it finally feels a little like winter. OK, again Kathy and I only have time for some short replies, as we are going up to visit Anne at the hospital. She is doing much better, and Mike has recovered. Hopefully, Anne will be discharged in the next day or two, we'll see.
Hi Renee, it's Kathy, how are you and the baby doing? Thanks for "sympathizing" with me about my "adventure" at work last week. We all stink up the bathroom at times, but my boss's boss takes the cake. I have never smelled shit that bad in my life. I have had to find other places to poop at work, and today that came in handy. Rita, my boss and I went to the ladies room together this AM, but Rita directed me to another facility that I did not know of. We were both able to poop in peace, before we went back to work. Later, we found out that another co-worker was bombed out in the main ladies room by Louise. You sometimes have to be thankful for little things. Now as for grunting: I usually do grunt softly when I poop, and it really turns Rick on, if he is with me. Sometimes I will be more audible, just to get a rise out of him, and it is fun to drive him crazy! Be well dear, it is very nice to speak with you again.
Howdy Cowgirl, how is my favorite Texan doing these days? I just love it when you call me dude, it makes me feel very young (GRIN). Thanks for calling my "group" impressive, I consider that a compliment; but your group out west is the best out here. We are glad that you and the gang enjoyed our latest outdoor caper. So little Malita was with you as you typed this, huh? She must be a bundle of joy to all of you kids, Renee, and she sounds like a very happy little girl. Snow Country? This year it is more like spring than winter, with warm temperatures and not much white stuff. But last weekend was cold; however, after a few miles of running, you don't feel it. So you want to know how old Noreen is? OK, she is 4 days younger than I am, and both of us were born in mid June of 1947. She does look much younger than 54, and she, like Kathy, works out and runs often. I hope that answers your question. Take care Renee, please say hello to the gang for us. Kathy and I send our l! ove.
Buzzy - Hey neighbor, it has been quite some time since we chatted. It looks as if you are over your bout of influenza, as you were well enough to go woods pooping. It sounded like you had a nice solid dump outdoors. The weather is a 180 degree turn from last year, when we had tons of snow and fairly cold weather. Because of that, we have been involved in more outdoor "community poops" (I just love the term that you use for our adventures) this winter than last. Anyway, running with Noreen (which I have been doing now for 24 years) never gets old, and when my wife and her husband come along, it is even more fun. Oh yeah, I had to really go on that last jaunt, and I just did get my drawers down in time! Take care Buzzy, hope to hear from you again soon.
Prude - Just what is with you? Since when is the word "poop" offensive, when it comes out of the mouth of a youngster? Would you rather have them say "shit" or "crap"? I have never heard little children use the terms "bowel movement", 'defacate", "pass wind", or "urinate" for that matter. Most children are taught to say poop or pee at an early age, as it is easier for them to say, and it assists adults in knowing a child's needs. As a father of 3 grown children and a grandfather of 5, I have been through 2 generations of children saying "pee', 'poop" and "fart". It isn't offensive and I don't know any adults who find such verbiage coming from a child as such. Whoever you are, you certainly described yourself very well, with the handle you used on this site.
Carmalita - Hola, Senora, welcome back, and Many Happy Returns! So, you are a February Birthday Girl? My wife Kathy, our "little" daughter-in law M, one of my little sisters, an uncle and number our 3 grand child, Juan Carlos, are all going to celebrate birthdays this month. It seems that many relatives of mine, and people that I know all have birthdays in the short sweet month of February. We really missed you while you were gone, Carmalita, and Kathy and I were very saddened to here of your little friend's passing. It is never easy to lose someone that you are close to. However, you seem to be smiling again, and your latest story does indeed indicate that you are up to your usual tricks. You gave Nu a good stinking, but she deserved it, and I am sure that she enjoyed it. That was one massive dump you had, it even sounded large by your standards. Anyway, it was good to see you back her, and Kathy and I really enjoyed reading about your adventures again. Be well, we send! our love, and please say hello to Jake for us. He sounds like a real great young fella!
Kim and Scott - Hi Kim, Hi Scott, it's Kathy. Thanks for saying hello, and thanks for your concern about Anne. I am happy to say that she is well on the road to recovery and she should be home in a day or so. Now about your little adventure at the "Y": Rick and I read the story and our eyes were popping out. I guess that we should be used to reading about such adventures from you; but your colossal craps never cease to amaze. Leaving the output behind sounds very devilish, but it sounds like fun. Big poops like yours are certainly something to admire and I can't blame you for wanting others to see it (giggle). Be well kids, Rick and I send our love.
We want to also say hello to Jane, Rizzo, Sarah and Mehgan, Annie and Robby, Muggs (where oh where are you, young fella?), Jeff A (are you OK, good sir?), Diane NY (hope you are feeling better) and any others that we might have missed.
After we get back from the hospital, we are going to Noreen and Larry's for a Super Bowl party. Stay tuned.
Anal Advisor. I think you're probably right. Most of us, if we're honest, probably eat too much fatty food and too little fruit and veg to keep our bwels as regular and healthy as they should be. Eating healthily, alas, is often not an easy or attractive option, especially for busy people. This is why products to ease bowel movement such as Tybogel have become so popular in modern times.
prude. You're perfectly entitled to dislike words such as 'poop' and 'fart' if that is your choice. However, you should sit in judgement on other people. I prefer to use the word poo instead of poop and 'fart' was a perfectly normal everyday word until the 18th century when the compilers of dictinaries decided to vulgarise it. However, each unto their own.
Carmalita. I enjoyed your post and I'm glad to hear you got your bowels moving again. Happy Birthday and hope you're soon feeling much better.
Kathy & RJogger. Sorry to hear about Mike and Anne's illness. I hope Anne is soon out of hospital and feeling better.
Althea. What you said about your British cousins pre-poop farting is roughly in line with what I might expect. Is pre-poop farting common in America?
Best wishes to Robby, Annie, Sarah and Meghan. Hope Sarah is soon much better.
I'm a nurse in a major hospital. I nearly shit my knickers! I could feel my baba building up, bit I had to keep a straight face with my patients and staff. Eventually, I could take no more and had to run to the loo, my shit poking out of my bumhole! I bolted the door in the ladies and pulled my hemline above my knees. MI pulled my knickers down to my stocking-tops and then my bum exploded! I did a series of huge farts and my baba came rushing down out of my bumhole. Three great dollops of bab came out. I wiped my bumhole and pulled up my knickers before anyone came in to the ladies. A close escape tonight!
Hi there folks hope you are all well
To Cory Good Debut story about Melissa, hope she returns the favour and lets you watch her, please let us know.
Tiffany welcome obviously i dont know about a girls perspective being a man but do have recollection of such drama of dumping in a freinds toilet. Leaving a smell isn't so bad unless there are woman around then i'm more self conscious. How old are you if you don't mind me asking and are your shits usualy difficult and smelly (speaking of which)
Hello to Carmalita i've not posted to you before but you seem to have a queen of the dump reputation your last story was great are your dumps always so monsterous. By the way i was sorry to read of the passing of
your Beautiful little freind as you called him that's so nice. I know i don't know you but the death of a child is always hard, my most serious
and heartfelt condolences.
To NIcole don't worry we all have accidents sorry you were so spanked i
often got spanked or clipped around the ear as a child but not for that just because i was a mischevious little sod although i was to big for my dad to spank me at 14 (well mostly)but dont let it bother you it happens especially travalling to certain places were it becomes enevitable.
Piggy Poop I'v not gone in a Telephone box but i did in a ally once thankfully i was alone ( i have already posted about that)
Of course i have to say hello to the BTB Babe alright JIll I hope your
still having good smely dumps down there on the south cost.Please post soon if you get the time i'm missing you already.
Well no story tonight just posting to keep in touch I must say when you get over the initial hesitation of posting it's great i'm so glad that i did.
Good night and dumps to all
I went to two swap meets today and used the toilets. Luckily they both have partitions that are high off the ground. You can see just about to the top of the bowl. At the first one, I was sitting on the can and two brothers come in. I couldn't see them, but the older on was probably a teenager, because his voice was a little bit deeper and I could see that he had big feet (he went into the stall next to mine). His younger brother went into the stall next to his. They were talking and laughing, when the younger brother said, "Hey, you're taking a poop." His older brother just laughed. The younger kid said, "you pooped in your underwear, I can see it." His brother laughed again and said "No I didn't, how can you tell? The younger brother said that he can see his brother's underwear. I glanced over and and saw that his older brother had his black pants and white briefs around his ankles, but no poop stain. The underwear was very visible and very white. They kept laughing and t! alking for a minute more and then they both left. Cool to be able to converse like that while taking a crap.
At the other swap meet, I sat in a stall, next to someone who was very gassy. Kept farting and dumping for a long time. He wasn't too modest, since he was sitting in the stall that is seen by everyone as they walk in, and he had his pants and underwear all the way down to his shoes. Since the partitions are pretty high off the floor, Everyone could see most of his leg, and part of his thigh as he sat on the toilet. He wore jeans and maroon colored fruit of the loom briefs (yeah, I was close enough to see the waistband). His stall has a light directly above it, so when he finished, I was able to see a silhouette of him wiping his butt. I saw that he wiped from behind, and then stood and wiped twice. When he stood, I caught a glimpse of his dick's shadow for a couple of seconds. Pretty cool sighting. He left after a couple of wipes.
Hello again. So many posts to read today! I've been meaning to post these stories for some time. Nothing too exciting but one is about a time I was out with some people I worked with playing softball (I think) against another team from another store. Anyway, it was in a Royal park and there were no toilets. We were drinking quite a bit and so the need for relief soon took hold. A group of girls went 'behind' a tree but the tree wasn't very large so I was treated to three or four beatuiful squatting girls, all enjoying long pees.
Another time I was out with the same people after leaving the pub one night. One girl was desperate for a pee so she just dropped her jeans and squatted on the pavement with about ten of us in a circle around her. Great memories.
Piggy Poop: Why did you and your boyfriend go inside the telephone box? Surely you could have done this outside the box just as easily, and without making a mess for some underpaid 'phone company employee to have to clear up, or for some unfortunate person to endure when they actually needed the 'phone! I know we all get 'caught short' sometimes and have to go in unusual places (as well as enjoying going outside) but please, a little consideration for others.
This could make an interesting discussion. The concensus from earlier posts seems to be that it is wrong to spy on someone without their consent; is it acceptable to cause inconvenience / distress / disgust / potential health hazard with our peeing / pooping? In other words, should people who don't give their consent be forced to put up with the results of our peeing / pooping?
Prude: I cant really see much improvement in lots of toddlers talking about their 'excreta' (and I'm not sure of a technical word for fart, someone enlighten me please).
Well I'm sorry I've posted a couple of 'rants' today but, as we all know, it's "better out than in".
Hellos to Rizzo, Robbie, Annie, Meghan and Sarah S, Kendal and Lawn Dog's Kid, Tim and Sarah, and so many more whose posts I enjoy reading.
Hi, I've been very busy with other stuff. Sorry I haven't posted in a while.
To the anonymous poster and Outhouse Scott, I also sometimes have trouble peeing when I have an erection, first thing in the morning. I have involuntarily pointed to other parts of the bathroom than the toilet more than once! :-( More on this subject in a couple of paragraphs.
I have some more pooping stories I hope you'll enjoy.
The other night I was in the middle of IMng with my friend Travis when he wrote "I gotta take a duke, be right back."
I didn't know what he was talking (more accurately, writing) about, so I wrote back "a what?" "A duke, you know dookie." I know what a dookie is but I've never heard it nicknamed as "a duke" until then. How 'bout anyone else on here?
Last weekend, Jason and me were hanging out at his place when I felt the need to shit. I hope this isn't too out of line but speaking of erect penises, I sometimes get "excited" when I go in front of Jason or vice versa.
This time I had trouble holding it down so I could piss into the toilet. As I was sitting there hanging out with Jason, who was standing, I noticed a "bulge" pointing out of his jeans. Again, I hope this isn't too out of line...
The last story is about my girlfriend Margi. She was at my house when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. I'll admit I tried to listen in to what she was doing; the bathroom is just off of the living room, where I was sitting. I didn't deliberately put my ear to the bathroom door, but continuted to sit where I was. After I got in there, I heard the water running for about 45 seconds than some rumbling of toilet paper than the toilet flushing. She again ran the sink, presumably to wash her hands. I would have loved to have heard her tinkle, but she apparently is one of those girls I've read about who are very shy about their bodily functions. Oh well...
I'm sorry I didn't get to say hello yesterday. I have been feeling miserable with the "runs". My shit was flowing like a river. I am feeling better. I want to take this time to say au revoir. I am leaving this forum for awhile. My studies are eating me up and I am getting nervous about them. I also have my final court assignment to do before graduation. Meghan will be on here every weekend so our escapades will always be told. I will be back probably by spring break. It is hard because I have really enjoyed being a part of this community. I have a parting story and some replies.
Meghan and I were at a party and there was a large queue at the bathroom door. We stood there for awhile and then went back to the main room. We had a little too much to drink and were feeling rather frisky. Meghan looked at me and said;"lets go out and squat". I thought about this and nodded my head. We went around the house to some thick bushes. We pulled down our jean and panties, squatted down and started peeing. Our streams were like racehorses. We suddenly realised that we weren't the only ones out there. There were at least ten girls and guys peeing and taking dumps. It was like a community squat. Meghan started giggling and I got up with my pee still gushing out. I was too drunk to notice. Meghan stayed there and with a push a large log started exiting her bum. It must have been 15" long. It dropped with a thud and she didn't have any paper. It wouldn't have mattered because she was "tanked up" as well. We pulled our clothes on and staggered out of there. We made! back to the house and we both collapsed on the sofa. We woke up the next morning still on the sofa. We weren't the only ones. We were really embarrassed. We said goodby and left. Meghan suggested we go and look at the results of the party. Friends, it looked like a great cow pile!! It was awful. We made it back to the apartment. We NEVER got that drunk again. Oh well, maybe 1 or 2 more times, teehee!
SWEET CARMALITA: HOLA! Welcome back! What a return story!! That had to the mega dump of the century. I couldn't have stuck my fingers up my bum. Did the toilet flush ok? I was suprised Nu didn't have to have oxygen to revive her, LOL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sweetheart! Take care, Love you, Jake and all! Sarah S
INA: Hi gal! I am worried about your poos. Please see someone about them! Meghan is looking at the website for the tubeing for the standup wee. I will be around, just not here. I will miss talking to you. Lots of Lovexxx Sarah S
STEVE AND LOUISE: Could Meghan and I have been part of a virtual audience for your wee with Louise, Pia, and Jackie? Yea, Louise does need some competition,LOL! Lovexxx to you, Sarah S
DEAR KENDAL AND LAWN DOGS KID: Hi cousins! I will miss you the most. Meghan will tell me if you post. I am feeling better. My poos are getting more solid. Like you, I have too much work to do. Take care and Lots of Lovexxxxxxxxx and mega, mega hugs to you and little Ellen, Cousin Sari
I have to get ready for church so SPECIAL HI's to: DEAR RIZZO, DEAR PV, TIM AND SARAH, EPHERMAL, MERE AND MANDY, ADRIAN, BRYIAN, LINDAGS, KIMMIE AND SCOTT, AMY(coed), DEAR ELEANORE, ADELE, TODD AND DIANA, DAVID AND NIKI, JANE AND GARY, MELANIE, UPSTATE DAVE, OUTHOUSE SCOTT, JEFF A, RJOGGER AND KATHY, ERIN, ELENA, ELLIE and LITTLE LOU and all of the rest of my friends here.
CIAO and EASY POOS AND PEES TO ALL
Hi everyone! I'm not working until 5.30 pm today as I have to carry out some major electrical work in a shop. This means I cannot start until they close for the day. I will working all through the night along with Dave. I worked on my own until I decided to employ David when he was 17 as an apprentice. He took a day off every week to attend the College of Further Education as part of the apprenticeship scheme. He duly qualified and is now 22. We've worked together for 5-years now. He's a really great guy. We have some good laughs together. I warned him (laughing as I did so) that if he kept farting the way he did that he'd end up messing his boxers. The underwear he wears is always boxers. One day, kneeling down installing a socket on the wall he let out this tremendous fart. It sounded very wet indeed. He jumped up, realising he'd let go some diarrhoea into his boxers. I was only 3 feet from him when he pooped his pants. He rushed into the bathroom in this empty house in wh! ich we were working. Though he is 22 and I am 45 we have become great buddies (age does not matter for either of us). Some places we have to work mean that we have sometimes to take a dump on toilets with no doors, so we have got used to seeing each other dump. I went to the bathroom with him. He apologised and said he was soooo embarrassed. I said, don't worry, just get cleaned up. There was only cold water available. I got some rag for him to use. We always take TP with us on jobs, but he needed more than just TP. His boxers were really messy. Fortunately, only a very little got into his jeans. I left him to clean up while I rushed out to the small van we use for work. I always have a spare pair of boxer-briefs in the glove compartment (and another pair in the glove compartment of my car) for emergencies. Another friend of mine had advised this after he had started peeing himself driving his car and was held up in a traffic jam. When he got to the next service station, he ! finished his pee and changed his briefs. His trousers had got a little wet, but dry briefs made him feel a lot better. I took Dave the boxer-briefs from the van and he put them on. He washed out his boxers in the toilet, but wondered how to wash them properly, as his mum would go mad if she knew he'd pooped his pants at 21 (as he was at the time). We put them in a plastic bag and I took his boxers home to wash for him. After Dave had got dressed again with my boxer-briefs under his jeans (good that we are similar in waist size), we went to continue with the job. But poor Dave was so shaken and embarrassed to have messed himself in front of me. I just grabbed hold of him and gave him a big hug. We're both Christian's. We give one another a hug when we meet at Church. Most people hug (some shake hands) in our church. Dave needed a hug so much then. I then told him about my diarrhoea accident in Glasgow (which I have mentioned in a recent post). He was encouraged by this and so! on we were both laughing, joking and singing again as we continued working. I've told him that part of his employment conditions are that "he will not be embarassed if he accidently pees or poops himself at work." He said he gladly accepts that if I will keep it secret from his fiance. He gets married later in the year, and his parents have asked if I will give a short speech as his employer (in addition to the speech by the best man). Dave knows what a wicked sense of humour I have, and is terrified I'll mention his accident in my speech - not only to embarass him in front of his new wife, but everyone else present! I've assured him that I will not do that. I've got plenty of other jokes and incidents lined up. Although I will be giving him and his beloved a wedding present in the normal way, I also plan to give him another at the wedding reception. That is to make him a partner with me in the business. It is something I have sounded him out about, but I have said nothing m! ore. I am waiting till the wedding. It will be a good 'extra present' to them both. He has so much to give and I believe with him alonside me as an equal we will be expanding the business.
I had an accident myself this morning. Because I will not be able to get to the gymn tonight, I did some warm up exercises in the house and on my own exercise bench. I then went out for a 1 mile run (equivalent to what I do on the treadmill at the gym). I take a circular route. I was about half way round when I felt I needed a poo. About a quarter mile later some soft poo squeezed out into my briefs. I had to slow down to jogging speed as the pressure was so great. But there was no stopping it. All this soft and mushy poop just kept on exuding and filling my briefs and spreading across my buttocks. I was glad I was wearing black briefs as I hoped if anything was seen through my loose white sports shorts it would be the natural darkness of my briefs. By the time I got to my house I was finished! I'd even partly wet myself too. I went straight to the bathroom. There was so much poo in my pants that I stepped into the shower to undress. As I bent over to take my trainers of! f the poo all squished in my briefs. They are a tighter pair of briefs to others I have - with low rise leg openings and a low level waistband. The poo squished in all directions - sideways, then as far as it could go in the crotch, squeezed out of the leg openings and actually squished up the back over the top of the waistband. It was only my bending over in the shower that caused it to go into my sports shorts. Because it was all soft and mushy it was remarably easy to swill it out of the briefs, the sports shorts and off my butt with the shower head. I am sure that my bowels have not got right yet after my diarrhoea I have mentioned in recent posts. I was quite OK as I sent off on a 1-mile run, unaware that I'd arrive home with my briefs filled to capacity.
Bryian: Loved the bit about your foreign co-worker who thought you'd had an accident in your car. I'll have to tell Dave that one, it will really appeal to his sense of humour! It was good that you were able to let your co-worker believe that your accident was in the car and not in your pants. How's it going back at work? Are your bowels getting more back to normal, or are you still doing soft mushy poo too?
steve: Loved your 3 stories from when you were 12, 13 or 14. How old are you now? You seem a bit old to get a spanking from your dad for throwing your dirty briefs in the garbage. I don't think that would happen in the UK. Maybe up to about the age of 8. Do you always throw your messed underwear away? How many pairs do you have? Sufficient not to notice if a few are missing maybe? I have thrown my messed underwear away sometimes but that been quite rare. Even in schooldays I'd secretly wash and dry my underwear. My age is now 45, as mentioned in my bit about work above.
Meghan and Sarah S: Thanks for your SPECIAL HELLO. It's really good to be part of this forum with all you lovely people.
Eleanor: I've not contributed any advice to you as so much has been given. Hope to hear that the situation with your brother has been dealt with successfully and that you can enjoy privacy in the bathroom. All the best to you at this difficult time.
Scarlet: Thanks for your comments about my stories. Be assured that there are many, many more to come. I'm 45 now and I've been peeing and pooing in my pants since I was 8 - both genuine and intentional accidents. With reference to my 'not crying' when I had so badly pooped myself in a Glasgow street and having to travel on the underground train in such a smelly state - I was just conscious of some words my mother used to say when very young, "Big boys don't cry!" I was then 23. I dared not cry (even amongst people I did not know). This is one big problem for many of us men in the UK. We bottle up our emotions and don't cry. "The stiff upper lip" as we call it! Men in their 30's are having heart attacks, quite often through the stress of unreleased emotions through tears. After some counselling to myself (after my wife died) I am learning to cry without shame. Not that I now go around crying all the time! I don't! But it's good to be able to do so. Perhaps some of you ot! her guys reading this may be the same as I was. Do learn to let the tears go when necessary. It healthy to do so.
You ask me for me to describe myself physically. Here goes: I'm 5ft 7ins tall. I am slim, though beginning to get the bulge that men tend to get in their forties (or even 30's). I am clean shaven and have dark brown hair which I have cut short (as is the general trend here). It's beginning to go grey - but I am not balding in any way at all. I have hazel-brown eyes and being a non-smoker my teeth are sparkling white. I think that it. I do give great attention to keeping myself fit, going to the gym twice a week (sometimes 3) and eating all the right foods. That does not mean I never have any treats. I believe I can eat anything, providing that which is fattening, etc is kept to moderation. I do enjoy life. People think us Christian's are dead miserable. Sadly many are. Yes, I can be serious. Things happen in life or the lives of those I know that have to be treated with great seriousness, love and sensitivity. But I love a good laugh and enjoy life.
Well this must be my longest post to date. Time dictates I finish, as Dave will be here in a few minutes with the van (he usually keeps it at his home as he has no car at present) and we have to start our night's work in about an hour.
Best wishes to you all.
Sealed shut sid
Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. This time of year the water is quite cool, even with a wetsuit. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy!
I had that hose down my back... I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. It was 35 minutes before I could come to the surface, because I had to wait for my chamber dry decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to thebell.
When I got on board, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to shove it "up my ass" when I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut.
Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass!
Plunging Plop Guy
I've had flu recently and not been able to read all the posts, but have caught up now and it's good to be back!
CUTE DAVID, You said about the toilets you'd been using, and that the partitions are quite low. Not only low in height, but you said that you could see upto the guy's knees in the next cubicle.
Do you mean that when you're sitting on the toilet, you can actually see the thighs of the guy sitting on the next toilet, and if so, can you do so without it being obvious you're looking, or do you need to lean forward and down?
Such arangements sound fascinating, but I suppose it all depends how close each toilet is to the partition.
I don't disbelieve there are toilets like that- my friend once visited a campsite in Britain where the partitions started at the same height as the toilet seat, and I've got a porn mag. from the USA showing 3 stalls in a public toilet with the partition starting a few inches HEIGHER than the top of the toilet! Whether or not anyone can see everything of his companion, I don't know, I'd have to be sitting there to find out. Anyway, please let me know. Interesting the way those locks are easy to open from the outside!
JIM, You asked for advice about going ahead with contacting that guy who wants to see you on the toilet.
I'd say Go for it, It's obviously what you hoped might happen, and so as long as you feel confident about him, and that you take precautions not to be more exposed than you want, it should be great for both of you!
The one reservation I would have is not to have my face on show, just in case it got into the wrong person's hands, and to preserve some anonymity until you feel absolutely sure you can trust him.
That brings me onto the controversial subject of toilet webcams that SAN D. asked about.
I've found a few of these on the internet and spent several minutes watching for some action and seen nothing happening, and have revisited, and still I just see an empty toilet with no sign of life.
I assumed them to be "Webcons", just time-wasting hoaxes, and that it would be highly unlikely that there are any toilet webcams connected up.
However, as you ask what people think of them, I take it that you've actually seen a few with people using them, and so the ethics of the subject is invasion of privacy, rather than hoaxing those of us interested in viewing.
Therefore, to declare my own personal reaction to knowing I'm on view on a toilet; As long as I was having a real good satisfying loud plopping shit, I'd be proud to know I was being recorded, BUT, I wouldn't want to be recognised by people who know me, so I'd make sure I didn't look up to the camera.
As for other people being on show, I would hope that those who were unaware of it, would not feel violated if they were to find out, and that they too, could feel proud of how they look and sound on a toilet. Many references to shows such as MAD TT in the US have featured such scenes, and the only area which I think would be very dodgy, would be if women were to be shown using toilets, as men spying on women is generally accepted as much more of an intrusion than men on men or women on men.
Perhaps there should be some definite annoucement somewhere within the building that "Surveillance equipment" might be in operation in the toilets, and that if it is, the cameras will be obvious. That would ensure no-one was taken advantage of, but the purpose of the covert nature of such a webcam is ,of course, the element of taking advantage of innocent people, although in a harmless and mischievous way.
I would certainly love to see a webcam that shows men sitting on the toilet, but that's because I find it a very fascinating subject, and I'd like to be seen myself, but I wouldn't be viewing such coverage for any sinister advantage such as embarrassing the individuals, or in a morbid effort to demonstrate to the person, that I know a lot of personal details about them, so I suppose the ethics of the subject is that it all depends on who's watching and why.
I'll certainly take webcams more seriously, and hope I find some interesting ones, and that I don't see any where people are either in distress, unwell, behaving in ways they'd rather not be depicted, having any kind of sexual activity, being sick, or doing anything that would be unkind or indecent to observe.
In other words, just doing what we like to discuss, and that which conforms to the Rules of this Forum!
Great times on your toilets, Everyone!! P P G